Do you kiss and how passionately?

[Grene 15]

Hello Everyone,

We have talk to some people who request that you kiss while playing and some other that think it is too passionate. We were just wondering what your thoughts on the matter were?

 

PS. If I knew how to make this a poll I would have.

 

We have been reading the forum for along time now and we have agreed with some post and disagreed with others but both sides of a topic are always covered with thoughtful and intelligent answers.

[Alura 2,774]

Welcome from Oklahoma, Grene. Please stop by our Introductions Forum and tell us a bit more about yourselves. We're glad to have y'all with us.

 

We can't imagine having sex without kissing. In fact, we're not even sure we'd be able to become aroused without it.

 

Kissing sends a message. When we kiss each other, the kiss means, "I love you." When we share a kiss with a playmate, it means, "Let's get hot! I wanna fuck your brains out!!" There's a lot of tongue involved in both.

 

The important thing is to understand the difference between "making love" and "fun sex."

 

If a couple didn't want to kiss, they'd probably be happier playing with a couple other than us.

[Roxysbayou 20]

We like kissing. It's a big part of the whole experience for us. Plus it's a good way to warm up to new playmates, and kind of test the waters.

[biblonde 22]

We enjoy kissing. Never understood how some could think it to intimate?? We look at sex this way....when you first start dating the first thing you do is kiss then it moves onto feeling and touching. Then sex and then oral is the most intimate thing you could do. And really if you look at sex as a sport and not making love then we think it should be all of the above!! Sex isnt the way I show my hubby how much I love him and I certainly dont feel the same way about others that I have sex with as I do hubby. YES I enjoy them alot (well most of the time!) but never will any of them be able to do to me what hubby can. Kissing is just a warm up to us and I love watching him kiss others so there is a bonus in it for me...he he he. We do see a couple that wont kiss and I somtimes find it hard to not kiss and catch myself forgetting and have to opoligize once in a while. They understand and dont get upset if we slip up which is great but not all "no kissing" couples feel that way. I have to say if we are going to play we will have to like you an awful lot if you have to no kissing rule. but that is just my 2 cents for the day!!

[NaughtyKitten 16]

Kissing is half the fun for me. I LOVE to kiss. Deep, hungry passionate kisses, and fun light playful kisses, its all good. I agree with the Alura's....I don't think I could, or would want to, have sex without kissing.

[intuition897 2,179]

We used to believe in the 'no-kissing' rule, too. Then we realized that whether or not we became too emotionally close to our swing partners had nothing to do with any given physical act. It was a matter of choice. You have to decide whether or not you are receptive to or giving off emotional vibes. If you have no interest in starting another relationship, why should kissing be any different than any other sex act?

 

Besides, the no-kissing rule was no fun. Kissing is extremely intimate; that's why we like it! Kissing involves all 5 senses. You see the way her lips are full and ripe. You feel his breath on your cheek, and you hear her breathing become deeper and fuller as she becomes excited. You feel the exact moment your lips touch his. The lips are exquisitely sensitive under normal circumstances, but with the increase in blood flow during arousal, they are even more so. And she tastes like cinnamon, mint, or merlot. And you can sense (sort of like smell, but not quite) the unscented perfume of pheromones rising from the face, neck and body. Amazing. Pheromones apparently do not have a scent, but we can sense them with a specialized organ in the nose. They just 'smell' like good hot sex.

 

I mean, just look at RoxysBayou's avatar! How hot is that?! My 2 cents: sex without kissing isn't nearly as much fun.

[WesternSwing 504]

I kiss, just like I normally kiss. I guess we don't see it as really being intimate.

 

Mr. WS

[ALilOEverything 901]

I wouldn't even know how to proceed of things didn't start with a kiss. Kissing is what makes my body become alive and ready to respond to other stimuli. I don't know if I could even get wet without at least a little kissing.

[Dynamar 246]

Besides, the no-kissing rule was no fun. Kissing is extremely intimate; that's why we like it! Kissing involves all 5 senses. You see the way her lips are full and ripe. You feel his breath on your cheek, and you hear her breathing become deeper and fuller as she becomes excited. You feel the exact moment your lips touch his. The lips are exquisitely sensitive under normal circumstances, but with the increase in blood flow during arousal, they are even more so. And she tastes like cinnamon, mint, or merlot. And you can sense (sort of like smell, but not quite) the unscented perfume of pheromones rising from the face, neck and body. Amazing. Pheromones apparently do not have a scent, but we can sense them with a specialized organ in the nose. They just 'smell' like good hot sex.

 

I totally agree... no kissing = no fun! And intuition... This^? Just made me hot!!! facelick

[Vespertine 31]

I wouldn't even know how to proceed of things didn't start with a kiss. Kissing is what makes my body become alive and ready to respond to other stimuli. I don't know if I could even get wet without at least a little kissing.

Dito

 

Kissing is not optional for me, it's mandatory.

 

Plus- It's one of my favorite things to do!

[DBL D 120]

We love to kiss!!! We place no restrictions on each other regarding how we want to express ourselves that way. Sex without it is way too sterile...and who likes sterile?

 

Male D

[WildMiCouple 325]

Although we have yet to meet a couple with the "no kissing" rule.....no kissing would mean no playing with us. Kissing is a very big part of playing for us Heck, I will get a hardon faster with a woman's lips on my lips....than on my cock

 

Brett (and Tammy)

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Yeah, we're kissers too. Especially Mrs two4you. She really loves kissing, and kissing ability can be a deal maker or breaker for her.

 

It is highly unlikely we would play with a couple that has the "no kissing clause".

[djdvcmu 16]

Kissing for me is the passion of the moment. Kissing to me is very important. I do not think i would be into it without kissing. There just something about kissing that make me feel alive. ok now, lets kiss

[CB_n_Red 16]

A big Dito from us to what all the pro-kissers have said!

[Grene 15]

We used to believe in the 'no-kissing' rule, too. Then we realized that whether or not we became too emotionally close to our swing partners had nothing to do with any given physical act. It was a matter of choice. You have to decide whether or not you are receptive to or giving off emotional vibes. If you have no interest in starting another relationship, why should kissing be any different than any other sex act?.

 

Dito We agree kissing has nothing to do with emotionally closeness.

 

You see the way her lips are full and ripe. You feel his breath on your cheek, and you hear her breathing become deeper and fuller as she becomes excited. You feel the exact moment your lips touch his. The lips are exquisitely sensitive under normal circumstances, but with the increase in blood flow during arousal, they are even more so. And she tastes like cinnamon, mint, or merlot. And you can sense (sort of like smell, but not quite) the unscented perfume of pheromones rising from the face, neck and body.

 

Wow, we can see why you got rid of the no kissing rule and you can kiss us anytime!

Thanks everyone for your input

[dreamer 15]

This also an excellent way to pass oral herpes. Swinging is so much fun. Enjoy !

[clit pro poet 15]

If you don't kiss, why bother?

[Alura 2,774]

I've asked this question before but no one has ever answered it:

 

If you don't kiss, how do you get sex started?

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Alura said:

If you don't kiss, how do you get sex started?

 

You aren't the only one who would like to know that answer to this question....

 

Jenn

[CB_n_Red 16]

jennandjamesinm said:

You aren't the only one who would like to know that answer to this question....

 

Oh yes! I think we should be told!

 

For the life of me I can't see how anyone could get started without a lot of kissing.

[Alura 2,774]

Well, I am so happy someone else has wondered the same thing. I thought it was because I'm a hick Okie that I didn't know.

 

I'm looking forward to answers from the non-kissers.

 

[dreamer 15]

If you don't kiss, why bother?

 

Well then, by all means kiss and participate in the bio diversity that all your partners have participated in the swinging community which should be quite a bit. It's certainly worth risk getting an STD for a few moments of lust.

 

We've only done this once, but as much as I'd like to see my pretty little wife get pounded by another guy, there's inherently something a little greasy and creepy about the lifestyle and some of the people in it, and maybe it's some of their attitudes about disregarding the safety of their own health. For instance: some have the attitude of "We don't use condoms, but we will if you want us to" I don't even want to talk to someone like that let alone touch them. Yes, I'd like to participate, but I don't think I'll be able to penetrate somebody until I can penetrate the wall of reason and knowledge I have about infectious diseases. We are squeaky clean and we will stay that way.

[intuition897 2,179]

...there's inherently something a little greasy and creepy about the lifestyle and some of the people in it, and maybe it's some of their attitudes about disregarding the safety of their own health.

 

dreamer, are you sure you're on the right website? Uh, yeah! Sex is messy! That's part of the fun of it. If you want to check stats, I'm sure there are links to them around here somewhere. But I've heard that the CDC has declared swingers to be a low risk group. Of course there's a risk, but you take risks every single day. A simple trip to the grocery store and wham! you've got little-kid-germs all over your hands from the shopping cart. Used an ATM lately? And don't even start me on public washrooms. The fact is, germs are everywhere. And as far as oral herpes goes, 50% of the population has the virus. One kid can pass it to another kid (yes, kids get them) by hugging or kissing each other. Or by sharing toys. Or sleeping on the same nap-time pillow. And unsuspecting parent kisses the kid hello at home time... Did you know that babies are born with sterile mouths? They inherit lactobacilli, streptococci mutans and spirochetes (cavity causing bacteria) from other humans. If it were possible to avoid contamination, people would never get cavities. However, the world is a messy place.

 

Inherently greasy and creepy?? I wonder if you're really here for friendly conversation or if you're trolling?

 

EDIT>> I'd also like to add that while we do take a risk by exposing ourselves to other people sexually, we DO, as a group, attempt to avoid taking stupid risks. Yes, we are aware of the risk of contagious disease, yes we use condoms, and yes, we're pretty picky about our partners. It doesn't eliminate risk, but it helps.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

And as always, I LOVE the way intuition puts things ....my thoughts exactly, just better put!!!

 

Jenn

[jennandjamesinm 87]

And we are still left with the question on how you get things started with no kissing.....To the no kissers, please share with us - I am very curious.

 

Jenn

[dreamer 15]

dreamer, are you sure you're on the right website? Uh, yeah! Sex is messy! That's part of the fun of it. If you want to check stats, I'm sure there are links to them around here somewhere. But I've heard that the CDC has declared swingers to be a low risk group. Of course there's a risk, but you take risks every single day. A simple trip to the grocery store and wham! you've got little-kid-germs all over your hands from the shopping cart. Used an ATM lately? And don't even start me on public washrooms. The fact is, germs are everywhere. And as far as oral herpes goes, 50% of the population has the virus. One kid can pass it to another kid (yes, kids get them) by hugging or kissing each other. Or by sharing toys. Or sleeping on the same nap-time pillow. And unsuspecting parent kisses the kid hello at home time... Did you know that babies are born with sterile mouths? They inherit lactobacilli, streptococci mutans and spirochetes (cavity causing bacteria) from other humans. If it were possible to avoid contamination, people would never get cavities. However, the world is a messy place.

 

Inherently greasy and creepy?? I wonder if you're really here for friendly conversation or if you're trolling?

 

EDIT>> I'd also like to add that while we do take a risk by exposing ourselves to other people sexually, we DO, as a group, attempt to avoid taking stupid risks. Yes, we are aware of the risk of contagious disease, yes we use condoms, and yes, we're pretty picky about our partners. It doesn't eliminate risk, but it helps.

 

Now that you've established that 50% percent of the population has it, and even children. I'm sure you feel justified in engaging in the behavior you do. Really, swinging is just like sharing a nap time pillow. How cozy.

 

Now that swinging is heartily endorsed by the CDC, we'll be making our way to the Red Rooster soon. My wife and I have been members of a swing web site, and the people that contacted us I would say were greasy and creepy, porn looking people. Maybe I just need to come to grips with my own greasiness.

 

Trolling, not really, but believe what you want. I would say, more frustrated because my logical brain won't let me engage in behavior my dick is telling me is like sharing a nap time pillow. Oh well, maybe some day. Like I said: Enjoy. I hope to be there as soon as I'm able to convince myself: what the fuck? Herpes ain't so bad. (no sarcasm)

[intuition897 2,179]

 

dreamer said:

Maybe I just need to come to grips with my own greasiness.

 

I think you're onto something there.

 

 

dreamer said:

Trolling, not really, but believe what you want. I would say, more frustrated because my logical brain won't let me engage in behavior my dick is telling me is like sharing a nap time pillow. Oh well, maybe some day. Like I said: Enjoy. I hope to be there as soon as I'm able to convince myself: what the fuck? Herpes ain't so bad. (no sarcasm)

 

Staying vanilla ain't a crime. Frankly we'd all be just as happy without the sarcastic attitude. I'm assuming the (no sarcasm) disclaimer only applied to the very last statement, 'cause the rest of the post seemed fairly ripe with it. Or was I reading it wrong?

 

If you have questions and concerns about disease and safer sex, there is a whole forum devoted just to those topics. If you haven't browsed through it yet, I'd encourage you to do so. If you're waiting for someone to promise you that you'll never encounter a disease, you won't find it; we're more realistic than that. But there are plenty of threads addressing people's experience with STDs including at least one poll. I don't remember where it is (Julie? LM? Anyone?) but I'm sure you'd find it interesting.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Here you go intuition:

 

STD Polls -

 

Is there anything in the lifestyle that worries or scares you?

Have you ever contracted an STD from a swing partner?

If you have HPV would you tell your swing partners?

Poll: Are you willing to go Bareback?

 

And just for shits and giggles - I searched with the words herpes, condoms and STD's...so TROLL here is some more for you to read......like you'll even bother....

 

Would you knowingly play with a couple that had herpes?

Do you swing bareback?

Safe sex & herpes

Finding other swingers who have herpes...

[twobears 16]

well here is old newbie again, I had this rule when we first started it was the only way I could go into a soft-swing situation, I have grown a lot and know that love and sex are different, yes the old lifestyle ways are going out for the new lifestyle we are beginning.

 

I have a great man, he knows how I think and do not push the issue with me but I knew how he felt, we talked and talked and talked some more. I love this lifestyle, every couple should before they are married go through some of our question and answer list, boy what a different world we would have, not too much divorce that way.

 

The funny thing is that I was the one that broke our guideline on no open mouth kissing, we could kiss but not open mouth, it was a funny, so now the rule is out the window where it belongs. lol My hubbie was giving oral to playmate and without thinking about it we just reached for each other and started to kiss. I told hubby later and he just smiled and said so what but thanks for telling me, that you broke one of our guidelines. He told me later that it just made him love me more and created more trust between us, isn't this lifestyle great!!!!!

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Twobears - Thanks for the response - That helped some. But I know that there are no kissing at all folks out there....we are friends with such a couple (dont play with them though), and still can't uinderstand how you get things started with out kissing........That is the one thing that gets me started......ok - gotta go and jump james now LOL

 

Jenn

[intuition897 2,179]

Thanks for the polls jennaandjames! Like you said, might be for nothing. But there they are in one spot anyhow.

[clit pro poet 15]

Yes, J&J, thanks for the compilation.

 

Ok, we live in a sea of microbes. Heck, if it were not for the little critters we'd have not so pleasant symptoms following meals, and fallen tree trunks waiting for decomposition would soon cover the land. Yes, some microbes are certainly worth containing and avoiding - and we're all fairly accomplished at doing so.

 

But... None of this (excepting possibly a few farmhand jokes) helps in the least with the matter (Alura - thanks!) of how to start out without a kiss. Maybe if you walk in on something already going on - or is somebody else gets an itchy (whoops) finger and starts something... Chances are, though, that that something will lead to kissing. We've all heard that, more or less, since the sixth grade. Truer as you get older, it looks like.

[DBL D 120]

...Uh, yeah! Sex is messy! That's part of the fun of it. If you want to check stats, I'm sure there are links to them around here somewhere. But I've heard that the CDC has declared swingers to be a low risk group. Of course there's a risk, but you take risks every single day. A simple trip to the grocery store and wham! you've got little-kid-germs all over your hands from the shopping cart. Used an ATM lately? And don't even start me on public washrooms. The fact is, germs are everywhere. And as far as oral herpes goes, 50% of the population has the virus. One kid can pass it to another kid (yes, kids get them) by hugging or kissing each other. Or by sharing toys. Or sleeping on the same nap-time pillow. And unsuspecting parent kisses the kid hello at home time... Did you know that babies are born with sterile mouths? They inherit lactobacilli, streptococci mutans and spirochetes (cavity causing bacteria) from other humans. If it were possible to avoid contamination, people would never get cavities. However, the world is a messy place.

 

Inherently greasy and creepy?? I wonder if you're really here for friendly conversation or if you're trolling?

 

EDIT>> I'd also like to add that while we do take a risk by exposing ourselves to other people sexually, we DO, as a group, attempt to avoid taking stupid risks. Yes, we are aware of the risk of contagious disease, yes we use condoms, and yes, we're pretty picky about our partners. It doesn't eliminate risk, but it helps.

 

I've been saying for quite some time now that I have felt swingers to be the MOST sexually responsible group of people around...as long as they're active. (This doesn't count regarding Priests & Nuns--Right?) We play it safe when we first meet someone...but I think that's changing a bit.

 

News Flash!!! Germs are everywhere! The Russians are coming!!! The other day Fem D wouldn't let me lay a package of chicken in the basket without first protecting it with another layer of "clean" plastic.

 

I Just Don't Know How We Survive!!!

 

Male D

[DBL D 120]

...They inherit...spirochetes (cavity causing bacteria) from other humans. If it were possible to avoid contamination, people would never get cavities...

 

How is is POSSIBLE that we still have all our own teeth?

 

M.D.

[dreamer 15]

jennandjamesinm said:

And just for shits and giggles - I searched with the words herpes, condoms and STD's...so TROLL here is some more for you to read......like you'll even bother....

 

Actually I did bother, and I've been on those threads in the past, plus the wife is a primary care provider. We are very well informed unfortunately. That's one reason I'm so paranoid. Yet with all the excellent info on this site (especially from the many links you provided), people conclude it's worth the risk. I'm not sure how it's possible to come to that conclusion, but some do. Maybe one day we'll be able to throw caution to the wind and reason out the window.......some day.

 

I guess some assume I'm some christian morality troll here to give you a bad time. That's amusing............if you only knew. If I could find away to think myself into a bed filled with strangers, believe me I'd do it. I'm not sure how to defeat the left side of my brain that is saying this is not a wise thing to do.

Anyway, like I said: Enjoy and peace

[ALilOEverything 901]

Dreamer, I think most people on this board are really well informed, that's why many are here in the first place. They want to know what they are getting into before they do it. Being a health care provider myself and working in an acute hospital setting I know all too well about people and risk. I think not kissing because of health risk can be a reasonable and if someone isn't comfortable with that they shouldn't do it. There are as many reasons why people chose not to kiss as they are many reasons why people chose to do so. If that's your decision to live a life of low risk, that's okay. But for those of us who have thought about it and decided that it's a risk we're willing to take, that should be okay too. Everyone has a risk of choice, winter driving, riding on ATV's, jumping on trampolines, contact sports and the many other risky things I treat people for every day.

 

Kissing is a risk I chose, I do minimize it as best I can but I know it's always possible. I'm okay with that. I would never try to convince someone to do so if they didn't feel comfortable with it, nor would I judge them for that... but would expect the same in return.

[dreamer 15]

Dreamer, I think most people on this board are really well informed, that's why many are here in the first place. They want to know what they are getting into before they do it. Being a health care provider myself and working in an acute hospital setting I know all too well about people and risk. I think not kissing because of health risk can be a reasonable and if someone isn't comfortable with that they shouldn't do it. There are as many reasons why people chose not to kiss as they are many reasons why people chose to do so. If that's your decision to live a life of low risk, that's okay. But for those of us who have thought about it and decided that it's a risk we're willing to take, that should be okay too. Everyone has a risk of choice, winter driving, riding on ATV's, jumping on trampolines, contact sports and the many other risky things I treat people for every day.

 

Kissing is a risk I chose, I do minimize it as best I can but I know it's always possible. I'm okay with that. I would never try to convince someone to do so if they didn't feel comfortable with it, nor would I judge them for that... but would expect the same in return.

 

We all have to make choices that we can live with. Ironically, I'm not even concerned about AIDS, it's that pesky Herpes crap in the genital and mouth region that can be contracted even though there are no sores present. You can say your prepared to risk it, but if you contract it you'll need to disclose it to your playmates before hand, and few will swing with you knowing your infected. Face it, it takes the love out of the air big time. So you'll swing until you know your infected, and then the good times are basically over, or you could be infected unknowingly and be spreading it to your partners assuring them all the while you've met their ad requirements of being clean and disease free. Few and I mean few can say they know they are disease free, and most of these people don't have a clue as to what safe sex is. They think because they use a condom during intercourse they're practicing safe sex. Using a condom isn't safe sex, it's just a little safer sex.

 

The precautions and do's and dont's of 99% safe sex from Herpes almost effectively eliminates any fun that might be had.

[CB_n_Red 16]

dreamer said:

The precautions and do's and dont's of 99% safe sex from Herpes almost effectively eliminates any fun that might be had.

 

Exactly! Presumably that means that you refrain from doing anything that might be risky. If that's the case, might I ask why you are here? Is it just to lecture us all?

 

I'm pretty sure most of us who are actively involved in the lifestyle have long since done our own risk assessment and conduct ourselves accordingly. We don't need the finger wagging.

[HotMoCpl 20]

The wife and I are pretty passionate kissers....and she'll just about have an orgasm when I suck on her tounge.....memories of reading Deep Throat. We're still "vanilla", but I personally believe that the kissing should go with sex. She differs a little, but she would probably not kiss.

[dreamer 15]

CB_n_Red said:

Exactly! Presumably that means that you refrain from doing anything that might be risky. If that's the case, might I ask why you are here? Is it just to lecture us all?

 

I'm pretty sure most of us who are actively involved in the lifestyle have long since done our own risk assessment and conduct ourselves accordingly. We don't need the finger wagging.

 

I'm interested in the topic. We are currently doing our risk assessment. That's where we are presently, that could change. There's still some things we aren't certain on.

 

As you've said you are actively involved in the lifestyle and have long since done your own risk assessment and are conducting yourselves accordingly. You've decided that being intimate with strangers is worth the risk of open sores on your mouth and genitals sporadically for the rest of your life with no known cure. I'm just wondering how you got there and came to that conclusion. I'm driven by lust as well, but can't quite make that leap.

 

If there were a vaccine for Herpes we would be there in a NY second.

 

No lecture here.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Dreamer,

 

Now that I understand where you are coming from a little better, I can see your concern. And I apologize about assuming about what your agenda was, to me it came across as judgemental. I guess what it boils down to is knowing the risks, deciding if you can deal with the risk factor, and then making a decision that you can live with. I know about all of the risk factors involved, and I know what I'm getting into. I wish there was a vaccine for herpes, HIV and cancer, and there isn't. So I will be as vigilant as I can, practice safe sex and hope for the best. Sometimes to have fun, you have to take some risks....and swinging is fun so we take the risks. Good luck to you on your journey.

 

Peace.

 

Jenn

[curiousagain 326]

What was the name of that movie where Leslie Nelson and Elvis's ex wife were wearing those "full body" condoms?? I can't get that image out of my head. Was it "The Naked Gun?"

 

Anyway, life is full of risk. Herpes virus can live for hours in a public restroom or up to ten days in damp towels. Everywhere else is somewhere in between. It is killed by a 10% bleach solution or a few available solutions or an adequate amount of time and dessication. 95% of the public has a form of genital warts including 60 to 80% of teenage virgin girls depending on which study you read. They can be passed from genitalia/mouth to hand to hand to genitalia/mouth. This form can only be found by physical exam/biopsy/smear and is responsible for most cervical cancers. Should I go on?

 

I ride a motorcyle. Sometimes I ride it too fast. Sometimes I ride it in traffic. Sometimes I ride it at night. Sometimes I wear full body armor, sometimes a leather jacket/jeans, sometimes just a T shirt/jeans. I very very rarely ride without leather gloves. I NEVER ride without a full face helmet and boots. Well, that one time in Florida doesn't count. Everybody has to rationalize THEIR ACCEPTABLE RISK THAT DAY AND OR TRIP and go with it and enjoy the ride.

 

Dreamer, you just have to weigh your possible risk with your possible benefits and make your own decision. If kissing or having sex with someone is the same as placing your tongue or penis in a petri dish in the science lab, even if you try to swing you aren't going to have any fun. You have to work through that before thinking about swinging or eating in the cafeteria or leaving the house............. you get my drift.

 

As for starting sex without kissing?? It's possible. It's not as much fun, but it's possible. How many of you have had a girl just unzip your pants, pull it out and start a BJ? I bet you forgot all about kissing

[Spoomonkey 421]

curiousagain said:

Herpes virus can live for hours in a public restroom or up to ten days in damp towels.

 

Conclusion?

 

Do not clean a restroom with your face or genitalia...

 

Which comes as particularly bad news for those among us with a johnson shaped like a toilet brush...

 

We have been involved in the lifestyle for over two years now and I have yet to have an open sore anywhere. We have played with some wonderful folks, most of whom we were very sure of their commitment to safe play and lowering the risks involved in the lifestyle.

 

You can spend years trying to determine if the water is fine, but the only way to know for sure is to hop in the pool.

 

The risks are admitted and agreed to, but if you are going to worry that much about it, then swinging really isn't for you. Sure, you have to decide whether or not this fits within your realm of "acceptable risk" - but you strike me as someone who may never be comfortable with that. My honest advice would be to focus on some hot monogamy between you and the missus. Not saying you can't or shouldn't swing - just saying that you may be unable to enjoy it.

 

As for kissing - yes! I love to. Sex without kissing is boring to me. We knew a couple that was that way (except that the wives could kiss) and sex with them was dull. In fact, the husband of the couple once told me that he'd never had fun in a swinging situation (i.e. fucking another woman). I have to wonder if this wasn't part of the reason.

 

We would have gladly played soft with them, but even though they were a flat out gorgeous and fun couple, having sex with them was not much fun.

[DBL D 120]

We played with a couple who had this "no kissing" rule. It was dull too...but it was their 1st time. One can hope they come to the same conclusion as some of the rest of us and decide that it's an important part of all the fun.

 

BTW, seems like couples who want to play soft would rather involve kissing and maybe oral but no screwing. What else would soft mean? I'm confused now...again.

 

I also don't seem to hear (on this thread) from those who used to have that rule and why they changed their minds. It would be nice to hear from some couples like that.

[txduo2000 18]

We kiss. When we started out, we did have the "no kissing" rule ... we (I) felt that it was too intimate, too emotionally charged.

 

But, after our first experience ... we started kissing. It is totally dull without it, it definitely helps to heat up the arousal factor. And we both kiss others passionately. It is always at the beginning of the "session" lol and all the way through it. We aren't into the "hello" and "goodbye" kiss with others, just the during the action kissing.

 

Honestly, it is something that simply comes natural, IMO, during sex ... and I LOVE to watch my husband kissing another woman.