EX Swinger Here to discuss the negative aspects of swinging

[Paramour2_99 0]

Hello. This is my first post on this board. My wife & I "were" in the lifestyle for well over a decade. We've seen and experienced many sides of swinging. I became a member here to discuss the more negative effects swinging can have on relationships and how it may alter one's perspective on healthy sex.

 

At 46 years old I'm a born again Christian as of 2 1/2 years ago. So my views aren't exactly in favor of the lifestlye. But take note that I'm not here to necessarily preach or pass judgement on anyone But as open-minded as swingers are, and those considering it - I'm hoping that tolerance to alternate views might be welcome.

 

I look forward to discussing our experiences with you in a calm forum.

 

Sincerely "X" Swinger

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Hi "X" Swinger - and Welcome to the board. I think that your opinions would be interesting - but I might be in the minority. I think that everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if it isn't the same as mine. That's what makes the world go round.....I look forward to you joining in the discussions and getting to understand your position better. Why did you and your wife decide to leave the lifestyle?

 

Jenn and James

[Paramour2_99 0]

Thanks for the warm welcome Jenn & James - I'm actually excited about being a member on this board. As a Christian I love all human beings. So since I've been in the lifestyle abd have experienced my fare share of it - I'm then qualified to give opinions.

 

As for your question - why we left the lifestyle, I guess you could say that it just ran it course. We hit a brickwall in that we experienced practically everything we wanted to do and then for us it was an empty feeling when we discussed our memories in the lifestyle.

 

After loosing those whom we considered friends as long as we were having sex with them, and learning of couples who wanted to get with us and then finding out some of them had STD's and AIDS we just said enough is enough. We were lucky that we never caught STD's (nor AIDS) and we never suffered from jealousies and insecurities. Some aren't that lucky. But in the end we quit swinging because our priorities changed towards each. We had children and "we" coudn't see having and asking for Gods blessings while partaking in swinging. We couldn't have it both ways.

 

I hope to hear from the board members soon ,,,,Sincerely "X" Swinger

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Welcome to the board!

 

Guess you'll be playing "Devil's Advocate" huh?

 

Hey, most of us on here are willing to listen to all sides of a conversation. You'll probably find us more willing to give you a voice here than if we went to a board of folks that were, well, let's just say, "Anti-Swinging".

 

10 years is a long time to be in the lifestyle. I'm sure you have some interesting perspectives on it.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Welcome Paramour2_99,

 

Since you have left one lifestyle for another I thought you might be interested in some more information about both the Lifestyle and Christains.

 

You might want to check out http://www.libchrist.com/

 

Both Lifestyles have their benefits and neither is "one size fits all" when it comes to opinions. Just as both lifestyles are not for everyone.

 

Take care,

[Spoomonkey 421]

I'm a born again Christian as of 2 1/2 years ago. So my views aren't exactly in favor of the lifestlye.

 

Hmmm... I've got you on the born-again thing by well over a decade, and my views are very much in favor of the lifestyle. Alternate views are welcome as you no doubt know (having been in the lifestyle for a long time) that many people think it is one messed up life choice.

 

We've all seen views negative, positive and indifferent - so your's will certainly fit in there somewhere.

 

If your being here is going to be an opportunity to attempt to stir up religious debate, I certainly hope that your visit with us is brief and uneventful. If you intent is to simply share experiences and help people who have chosen this lifestyle, then I hope that your stay is long and productive.

 

I think it will also be very enlightening for you to realize that many of us find that faith and swinging fit together quite comfortably. I am glad you're here! What a much better world it would be if more of our faith would stop in and learn that a deep faith and the lifestyle are NOT mutually exclusive! After all, many of the folks in the pews have already reached that realization.

 

Spoomonkey

[intuition897 2,179]

Welcome paramour! Lots of dittos to the above posts. One of the great things about this board is that the advice that people find here is well-rounded. The more diverse the community the better!

 

But I'd like to especially dito Spoomonkey's post; hopefully we won't need fire extinguishers for any posts. I think as long as everyone agrees that opinions are just that: opinion, thing's'll be just hunky dory. And, of course, we must admit that none of our opinions - regardless of how strongly we believe in them - are fact only to ourselves, and might be considered fiction by others.

 

As far as Christianity goes, I think God's got bigger things to worry about than our bodily functions (ie: sex). I think He cares less about what we do than why we do it. I have no trouble sleeping nights. I figure God told us not to screw other people outside of marriage because of STD's. Well, that and the fact that humans are a jealous, petty, and covetous lot. So instead of listening to the kids squabble about "he stole my toy", "yeah, well HE took MY toy first!", "yeah but..." etc, the Big Guy just said, "Ok, ok, O K!! Just shut up already! NEITHER of you is allowed to touch each others' toys...OK?? Y'Happy now?" Honestly we're like a bunch of kids and I think we're driving Him nuts.

 

So anyway, yeah, Mr. intuition and I are taking exception to that rule. I think I understand why the rule was in place, what the reason was behind it, and we've decided to not abide by it. Yes, we may burn in hell for all eternity for our decision, but we must all live by according to our consciences, and obeying this rule did not feel as true and honourable to our marriage as disobeying. We just hope that God understands our motives and intentions.

 

Anyhoo, glad to have you on board!

[DaveNSheila 16]

HEllo and Welcome to the board. Feel free to post any thoughts, concerns, comments, views, opinions, and ask any questions you may have. With your experience it will be a great bonus to the board by sharing. D

[starlinn 17]

Hello and Welcome to the board! I look forward to your opinions and thoughts here. I only hope that you are here for discussion, and not judgement.

[Alura 2,774]

Welcome from Oklahoma, Paramour! We're glad to have y'all join us and look forward to learning from both of you. Will your wife be posting as well?

 

Alura

[WildMiCouple 325]

....Yes, we may burn in hell for all eternity for our decision, but we must all live by according to our consciences, and obeying this rule did not feel as true and honourable to our marriage as disobeying. We just hope that God understands our motives and intentions.

Ms Intuition, then I guess all you have to do is......

......I pray he made a decision at some point, hopefully seconds before dieing that he would pray for God's forgiveness for his sins.

and all will be forgiven :rollseyes This is the kind of stuff that turned me off to religion many years ago. If enjoying your relationship with your wife with others is sinful.....then I don't wanna be a part of that group. I've always tended to walk my own path anyway.

 

"X" Swinger.....feel free to join the discussions on the board. But I'm sure you realize your preachin' to the wrong crowd.

 

Brett (and Tammy)

[Paramour2_99 0]

Hearing a difference of opinion is healthy. It gives balance so not all opinions are one sided. I know people that are envolved in swinging don't care to hear the truth behind such activity, but if you're bold enough to have sex with someone other than your mate (in front of them) then you're adult enough to hear how wrong it is,,,,pure and simple.

[Paramour2_99 0]

To Alura - thanks for the welcome. My wife won't be posting in this forum anytime soon. We haven't discussed swinging in any form in the five or six years we've been out of the lifestyle, and as far as she goes this topic is better left alone.

 

Take care ALura,,,,Sincerely "X" Swinger

[Paramour2_99 0]

To Starlinn - I'm trying not to be judgemental although it may seap out in some of my comments. I've been there in swinging so I can still reflect upon recreation that we had at that time. I'm no better than anyone - but I'm just trying to walk a different path. When I was in the thick of it I may not have wanted to hear the negatives about swinging either. But then again - I never had that option as no one attempted to talk me/us out of it. So I'm here to enlighten, particullary the newbies, then darker side of the lifestyle, after all we're dealing with marriages, health issues, and the morality of this behavior.

 

Whewwww, it's been a long day,,,,good night to all,,,,Sincerely "X" Swinger

[intuition897 2,179]

To Starlinn - I'm trying not to be judgemental although it may seap out in some of my comments. I've been there in swinging so I can still reflect upon recreation that we had at that time. I'm no better than anyone - but I'm just trying to walk a different path. When I was in the thick of it I may not have wanted to hear the negatives about swinging either. But then again - I never had that option as no one attempted to talk me/us out of it. So I'm here to enlighten, particullary the newbies, then darker side of the lifestyle, after all we're dealing with marriages, health issues, and the morality of this behavior.

 

As WildMiCouple said, I think you're preachin' to the wrong crowd. Maybe swinging sucked for you and your wife, or you were both approaching it in such a way that it began to detract from your relationship, but I MUST insist that this is simply not the case for all swingers. You feel that you are enlightened? Surely no more enlightened than many of us do about the advantages of responsible non-monogamy. And surely our convictions are no less strong than yours are.

 

Perhaps you feel that none of us have weighed and considered our moral and ethical obligations to ourselves, to our spouses, to our families, and to mankind as a whole. If you feel in the depth of your heart and soul that sex beyond your own marriage is wrong, then it most assuredly is...for you. As I said, we must all live according to our individual consciences; it's all we can do, as God has made no two souls alike.

 

If you've read much of this board before, you will have found that while we are pro-swinging, our encouragement is well tempered with advice to NOT proceed with swinging activity if there is any doubt about the integrity of one's relationship, either partner's motives, or any sense of religious/spiritual conflict. Our goal is not to ensnare innocent bystanders, nor "corrupt" (although that term is used playfully, but never in seriousness), nor recruit new members. We are simply people who have found something that works for us, and we would like to share that experience with others if they feel it might suit them, too.

 

"Swinging is not for everyone." I wonder if there's actually any way to call up exactly how many times that phrase has been posted.

[AlanCatherine 18]

As a Christian I love all human beings.

 

Hi Paramour2_99

 

I don't know that there is a connection between being Christian and loving all human beings as history has many examples that contradict this. However, I have no problem with the concept of loving all human beings no matter what your religious outlook is.

 

However, regarding the negative opinions of the lifestyle, everyone has sex that I know of bar a very very few. With sensible precautions, it is a healthy activity. Even without the precautions, it is no more hazardous than a thousand other recreational activities in which people participate.

 

I see the pleasure that my wife gets from having a number of guys having sex with her. That's pleasure for her, pleasure for me and certainly pleasure for any of the other guys concerned. We are 49 and although not spring chickens, we are not yet ready to lay down and die. We just want to lay down and have fun.

 

best regards

Alan & Catherine

[beaverz 18]

Posted By: Paramour2 99

We've seen and experienced many sides of swinging. I became a member here to discuss the more negative effects swinging can have on relationships and how it may alter one's perspective on healthy sex.

I have learned more about the negatives of swinging from this forum more than any other source and would listen to the negatives you and your wife have seen or endured. The experiences of others can only help those to decide if swinging is for them or help them not make the mistakes others have made.

 

 

 

Posted By: Paramour2 99

if you're bold enough to have sex with someone other than your mate (in front of them) then you're adult enough to hear how wrong it is,,,,pure and simple.

If I want to hear how wrong it is I will listen to the main stream media (the doctor Phils, which I don’t have any respect for) or I can hear how wrong swinging is from those that cheat on their spouses.

[Spoomonkey 421]

if you're bold enough to have sex with someone other than your mate (in front of them) then you're adult enough to hear how wrong it is,,,,pure and simple.

 

So...

 

How wrong is it?

 

Enlighten us...

 

Spoomonkey

[Alura 2,774]

Paramour wrote:

 

So I'm here to enlighten...

 

...people that are envolved in swinging don't care to hear the truth...

 

...adult enough to hear how wrong it is...

 

In my opinion, many of those head-over-heels involved in organized religion turn away from Jesus' teachings in an important way. The lack of humility is apparent. They KNOW, and make no mistake about it, they are quite willing to share their infallible wisdom with those of us who not only don't KNOW, but think they're wrong. I don't get the impression, Paramour, that you are willing to consider that you may be wrong and others right. This absolute attitude immediately obviates any possible of sharing ideas.

 

...as far as she [Mrs. Paramour] goes this topic is better left alone.

 

I'm sorry to hear this. A marriage wherein there exist subjects about which the partners fear to communicate is less than most of us here hope for and work toward. There are many threads on this board about communication with tips on how to improve it. Please read some of them. It would be interesting to discuss that with you, rather than restrict our talks to whether swinging may be wrong.

 

Thanks for opening this subject, Paramour. It is a subject that has had little in-depth discussion on this board.

 

Mr. Alura

[Vespertine 31]

Paramour wrote:

...as far as she [Mrs. Paramour] goes this topic is better left alone.

 

I'm sorry to hear this. A marriage wherein there exist subjects about which the partners fear to communicate is less than most of us here hope for and work toward. There are many threads on this board about communication with tips on how to improve it. Please read some of them.

 

Mr. Alura

Dito

 

I'm sorry to hear it too. Communication is the key to a wonderful, trusting relationship. Perhaps that is why you and your wife didn't fair well in the Lifestyle?

 

I look forward to reading of your experiences, Paramour. I also agree with Alura that you might want to read the threads on communication. Perhaps being on the board will serve two purposes for you. You can share your views and perhaps learn how to build a stronger, more honest, relationship with Mrs. Paramour in the process.

 

Welcome to the board!

 

-Ves

[NaughtyKitten 16]

Hearing a difference of opinion is healthy. It gives balance so not all opinions are one sided. I know people that are envolved in swinging don't care to hear the truth behind such activity, but if you're bold enough to have sex with someone other than your mate (in front of them) then you're adult enough to hear how wrong it is,,,,pure and simple.

I agree that differences of opinion can be healthy but that is not why you are here. I was ready to welcome you to the board before I saw this comment. You originally seemed level headed and willing to participate in an open discussion but this is a red flag for me. If I wanted to be preached to, I would attend church. Obviously you came here to tell us all how wrong we are in choosing this lifestyle, not just to enlighten us to some of the negatives. After ready this, I hope you choose to move on and take your negatives with you. We are not here to judge each other but to discuss and to support.

[CB_n_Red 16]

Dito to that!

 

I smell a troll.....

 

CB

[jennandjamesinm 87]

I know people that are envolved in swinging don't care to hear the truth behind such activity, but if you're bold enough to have sex with someone other than your mate (in front of them) then you're adult enough to hear how wrong it is,,,,pure and simple.

soapbox

 

I have watched this thread with some interest, but I can no longer sit and keep quiet. Granted - everyone is entitled to their opinions, but when those opinions become JUDGEMENTS, then you sir are going against your own personal beliefs. To reference a book that I am sure you are familiar with -

 

"You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. But if I do judge, My decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with The Father, who sent Me." (John 8:15-16)

 

"Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for The Lord is able to make him stand."

"One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to The Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to The Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to The Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."

"For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that He might be The Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written: "'As surely as I live,' says The Lord, 'every knee will bow before Me; every tongue will confess to God.'"

"So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another." (Romans 14:1-13)

 

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:1-5)

 

All of these passages are Christ's own words......

 

I am a Christian and I am a swinger, and you know what - I am very comfortable with both. But I don't judge others who aren't swingers or Christians or aren't what I think they ought to be - that's a job that is very clearly for someone else - God.

 

Jenn (getting off the soapbox )

[WildMiCouple 325]

But take note that I'm not here to necessarily preach or pass judgement on anyone

First of all let's be honest here....and I'm going to make an assumption here that a Born Again Christian knows what honesty is.....this is exactly why you came to this board as exampled here:

I know people that are envolved in swinging don't care to hear the truth behind such activity, but if you're bold enough to have sex with someone other than your mate (in front of them) then you're adult enough to hear how wrong it is,,,,pure and simple.

Now on to your experiences, "X" Swinger

My wife won't be posting in this forum anytime soon. We haven't discussed swinging in any form in the five or six years we've been out of the lifestyle, and as far as she goes this topic is better left alone.

I'm going to disagree with Alura that you and your wife have communication problems. I'd be willing to bet that you pushed your wife into swinging against her wishes. Then, after either finally getting tired of it or experiencing a particularly bad time, she finally said enough is enough......hence she hasn't or won't talk about it since you quit. Not a communication problem, just a way for her to deal with whatever went wrong. Why don't you, "X" Swinger, instead of preaching to us how wrong or sinful swinging is, let us know what went wrong with your swinging....other than it ran its' course or you hit a brickwall. This is the kind of useful posts that people will actually take to heart and learn from......and besides, you may just deter a newbie or two per your agenda

 

Brett (and Tammy)

[Paramour2_99 0]

As WildMiCouple said, I think you're preachin' to the wrong crowd. Maybe swinging sucked for you and your wife, or you were both approaching it in such a way that it began to detract from your relationship, but I MUST insist that this is simply not the case for all swingers. You feel that you are enlightened? Surely no more enlightened than many of us do about the advantages of responsible non-monogamy. And surely our convictions are no less strong than yours are.

 

Perhaps you feel that none of us have weighed and considered our moral and ethical obligations to ourselves, to our spouses, to our families, and to mankind as a whole. If you feel in the depth of your heart and soul that sex beyond your own marriage is wrong, then it most assuredly is...for you. As I said, we must all live according to our individual consciences; it's all we can do, as God has made no two souls alike.

 

If you've read much of this board before, you will have found that while we are pro-swinging, our encouragement is well tempered with advice to NOT proceed with swinging activity if there is any doubt about the integrity of one's relationship, either partner's motives, or any sense of religious/spiritual conflict. Our goal is not to ensnare innocent bystanders, nor "corrupt" (although that term is used playfully, but never in seriousness), nor recruit new members. We are simply people who have found something that works for us, and we would like to share that experience with others if they feel it might suit them, too.

 

"Swinging is not for everyone." I wonder if there's actually any way to call up exactly how many times that phrase has been posted.

 

 

NO I'm definitely "preachin" to the right crowd. Who else would I discuss anti swinging to "the Farmers Association of America"????.

 

And once again Intuition - you're wrong, my wife and I had a very full and enjoyable time while we were morally lost and abandoned at that time. Luckily enough, we got out of it before anything health wise could corrupt our bodies. The people we met seemed freindly until you mentioned non-swinging activities like, "hey - let's do something different like go out to dinner, bowling, take a trip, or go dancing". But it was always about the bedroom. But I'm sure it may not be that way with everyone.

 

And being a Christian isn' about "living with my own consciences". That's what leads you into trouble because mans nature is sinful. So following your carnal & worldy conscience leads you from Christ and into trouble.

 

What advice would you all give your children if they wanted to get into swinging????? SIncerely "X" Swinger

[Paramour2_99 0]

Naugty Kitten - I know my rhetoric falls on deaf ears to the veteran swinger. The veteran is so deep into swinging and vice versa that it's next to impossible for someone to see the light. That is until a negative experience awakens them.

 

I'm here primarily for the novice & newbies who are still seeking advice. YOU ALL owe it to them to fully discuss the negatives to swinging and not just the sugar coated and mild "discuss it fully with eachother", "repect eachother", and "talk about all the do's and don't before you go to a party crap". That's nothing more that directions on how to make swinging work.

[Sweet_Candy 54]

What bridge do you live under? I will wager that it was you and not your wife who wanted to stop swinging. Your attitude reaffirms my disgust for those who would impose their views upon others. Surrender

[Sunswept 161]

.... That's nothing more that directions on how to make swinging work.

So, one of the the presuppositions of this statement is that you think swinging can work. Interesting.

 

What is your real outcome for being here? Can you honestly explain that to us?

[Chicup 41]

At 46 years old I'm a born again Christian as of 2 1/2 years ago. So my views aren't exactly in favor of the lifestlye. But take note that I'm not here to necessarily preach or pass judgement on anyone But as open-minded as swingers are, and those considering it - I'm hoping that tolerance to alternate views might be welcome.

 

Perhaps you should not have refered to swingers as 'freaks' then in another thread

[warkman 31]

NO I'm definitely "preachin" to the right crowd. Who else would I discuss anti swinging to "the Farmers Association of America"????.

 

I think people here are interested in hearing and discussing negative aspects of swinging. It's just that if your primary argument is that it's "morally wrong", there's not much further one can go. We just have a difference of opinion.

 

And once again Intuition - you're wrong, my wife and I had a very full and enjoyable time while we were morally lost and abandoned at that time. Luckily enough, we got out of it before anything health wise could corrupt our bodies.

 

So you're concerned about health risks as well. It's a justifiable concern and one that most folks here take seriously. There are many threads here dealing with just that.

 

The people we met seemed freindly until you mentioned non-swinging activities like, "hey - let's do something different like go out to dinner, bowling, take a trip, or go dancing". But it was always about the bedroom. But I'm sure it may not be that way with everyone.

 

Part of the reason people focus on the sexual side of being swingers (I think) is that they can do all those other things you mentioned with family and "vanilla" friends already. If the people you were swinging with had been receptive to non sexual activity as well, would you feel different? Maybe you didn't find the right people in the first place. Seems like several here have that kind of relationship to one degree or another. How do you feel about polymory?

 

And being a Christian isn't about "living with my own consciences". That's what leads you into trouble because mans nature is sinful. So following your carnal & worldy conscience leads you from Christ and into trouble.

 

I'm not particularly religious, but I know there are many differing opinions on how to lead a "moral" life - from relgious and non religious people alike. And your "interpretation" of your religious teachings suggests that swinging is wrong. So be it. Just don't make the mistake of telling others what they should believe.

 

What advice would you all give your children if they wanted to get into swinging????? SIncerely "X" Swinger

 

If they were adults I'd probably say, "Be true to yourself and others, use your best judgment, and be safe."

[Spoomonkey 421]

I'm here primarily for the novice & newbies who are still seeking advice. YOU ALL owe it to them to fully discuss the negatives to swinging and not just the sugar coated

 

You are right...

 

So - let's get to it...

 

The negatives that a newbie might encounter in swinging:

 

1. Disease. The risk is real and it is something that you either take seriously or suffer the consequences. Safe sex and a selective approach to play partners is essential. (You will find that is the general concensus here, but I'll go ahead and restate it)

 

2. Vulnerability. If your communication and honesty with your spouse is not all that it can be, you do risk heartache. Motives, boundaries and hopes for the lifestyle have to be clearly discussed - not just beforehand, but every step of the way.

 

3. Bad people. There are some slimey folks in the lifestyle. It is almost a certainty that you will meet a few - and maybe even play with some. I wish they weren't there because we have played with them ourselves, but they are. Be prepared to have a few "wish we hadn't" experiences.

 

Is that good, X?

 

If anyone has read this board, they will have found those truths and many more. Swinging isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. Tread carefully - and not at all if there are any doubts.

 

However, if you do take the right steps, keep the communication open and grow through the experiences, both good and bad, then there are some incredible benefits!

 

1. Great sex! Yep - it happens! But, not just in the play rooms! It can super charge an already sexually healthy marriage! Mrs Spoomonkey and I have gone from 4-5 times per week to closer to 10 times per week. Our passion for each other is incredible!

 

2. Deeper communication! Think you talk deeply now? Wait until you open up on this level! Even your deepest, darkest secrets are on the table - and guess what! It is incredibly liberating to be that open to a person.

 

3. A stronger relationship! I spend lots of time here - and lots of time on Christian message boards. Trust me, the marriages I see here are the ones I would hope that my children would model - not the messed of versions that most Christians have (and I AM a Christian, so I say that with much sorrow). Just spend a day reading a Christian message board, reading about their marriages and you will be amazed at the mess they have gotten themselves into.

 

I could go on and point out that my faith has actually deepened through realizing that I am free of man made morals and victorian standards. I honor God by living the abundant life that He promised me. And there is NOTHING in the Bible, if read completely, that condemns swinging. If you would like to discuss that point with me, I would be glad to do so off the boards via PM or e-mail. And, yes, I am an ordained minister with the education and full time ministry experience to claim some sort of knowledge of the Bible

 

It may feel like a great crusade for you to "educate" swingers to the "truth" of their "sin", but I assure you - all you are bringing is bondage to people who have learned to live without it. YOU, my friend, are sinning in your attempt to yoke us to man's law and NOT the truth of God's Word.

 

A much greater thing for you to do would be to take some time alone and study what the Bible actually teaches you about freedom and the wonderful life that you are afraid of living.

 

Spoomonkey

 

PS - Sorry, guys... I couldn't resist...

[intuition897 2,179]

I just spent...like...half an hour doing up a response to Paramour and the site broke down and the whole thing was lost. It was a good one too! Maybe it was a sign from above to not encourage the trolls.

 

Paramour, of all the stuff in my lost-in-cyberspace post (and I'm sure you're feeling the loss ), one thing that bears repeating is "Test everything. Hold on to the good." (1 Thess. 5:21). Your opinion of my competency in testing the matter doesn't matter one bit, as it has nothing to do with you.

 

Don't you worry. God and I will settle up in the end, so unless you're volunteering to pay my tab for me, my account with God is none of your business.

[curiousagain 326]

What advice would you all give your children if they wanted to get into swinging????? SIncerely "X" Swinger

 

Being a single male and having a Son who is a single male, I have given him the same advice I would anyone concerning all kinds of sexual relations. One of the main 0nes being caution and partner selection and the risk and oh yeah, as long as he lived here, he had an unlimited supply of condoms purchased by me.

 

 

As far as preaching to the right crowd??

 

I ride a pretty fast motorcycle, I wear a helmet and protective clothing and I drive it like the wind. Some of my non motorcycle riding friends try to talk me into quitting it sometimes "because of the danger". A life without risk or danger isn't a life lived. Not that I seek those things. It is just that many of the activities I enjoy carry some risk and danger and those are acceptable to ME. To tell me any different merely tells me you have not lived life to it's fullest or if you have, you have now decided to curl up in a ball like an insect and await your demise.

 

Oh, I just don't realize the danger you say?? Well, I have "been down" three times on a bike on the street and no telling how many times off road. I have had friends killed on them and crippled for life. I have had patients who were crippled in motorcycle accidents. Yet, I ride. As I shall do until I die or am no longer physically able.

 

I intend to have sex of some kind until I die or am no longer able. It's my decision that some of it is swinging sex.

 

You live your life and I'll live mine, and we'll both be happy, but I bet my grin is bigger than yours.

[alicat69 16]

Okay Paramour,

I am as 'newbie' as anyone can get. However, I can tell you that I have no 'spiritual affiliation' and I don't want you preaching to me about your beliefs in God, morals, or anything else. I will not take anything that you have to say to heart at all because I feel it will be biased by your religious beliefs and NOT actual facts. I guarantee that I will disregard anything that you post, because I am not a Christian. I took theology in college. Who says that your version of God is right? As long as I am good, and kind I'll take my chances, and if I'm wrong I guess I will go were all the other fun people go

 

I imagine that you are just really bored to need to post to this forum or that you like drama. Or that you are trying to atone for your really freaky, nasty past by trying to 'save others'. No to be rude but, get a life.

 

J9

[Alura 2,774]

In my opinion, a motorcycle can be a safer vehicle than a car. In the hands of an experienced, mature and trained (Motorcyclists should take the Motorcycle Safety Foundation's Beginning Rider Course.) rider, a motorcycle will manuever better to avoid an accident, stop quicker and accelerate faster to get you out of trouble. It can also go places a car cannot. I once topped a hill and had to go between two cars that had crashed before my very eyes. If I'd been in a car, I would probably have been hurt.

 

If a rider is careless and has an accident, he will probably be hurt.

 

Swinging is similar. For a couple, dedicated to each other, determined to understand everything about each other and the lifestyle, and unwilling to cheat, a marriage's communication can be enhanced far beyond the possibilities of the average vanilla marriage. Being afraid to discuss any subject is simply not necessary.

 

Saul of Tarsus was the person most responsible for the anti-sex attitude held by some Christians. Constantine I's men decided to include Saul's writings when they assembled the Bible. Jesus never had negative things to say about sex. Paul had plenty. Jesus also had nothing to say about Paul. Paul did not teach what Jesus taught. For those reasons, I believe Paul/Saul was a false prophet.

 

Nobody else needs to believe that.

 

Mr. Alura

[Spoomonkey 421]

Nobody else needs to believe that.

 

Because of my background, I include Paul in a lot of my thought/study... But I have to admit, he is a HUGE pain in the ass... Similar to Pat Robertson...

 

 

Spoomonkey

[Vespertine 31]

... Similar to Pat Robertson...

Hearing/reading/seeing that name evokes the feeling of nails being scraped on a chalkboard for me. :rollseyes

[WildMiCouple 325]

The veteran is so deep into swinging and vice versa that it's next to impossible for someone to see the light. That is until a negative experience awakens them.

Why don't you let us know what your negative experience was that made you see the light. There are some pretty insightful people around here.... you might just get some responces that could help strengthen what appears to be a deeply wounded relationship with your wife.

 

Brett (and Tammy)