Expect the Unexpected

[DaveNSheila 16]

Hello all not sure really where to put this so thought General would be a good place to put this it is sad but also an eye opener. We had gone to a club this weekend and a couple we hadn't seen in a couple of months was there. We consider them friends and haven't played with them but have done alot of teasing among the four of us, timing just hasn't worked in our favor. We were all sitting at the same table pretty much just hung out together and having fun, they were very affectionate with each other which we hadn't seen in the past and the male half was sort of pushy in the aspect of trying to get his wife to go down on S and at one point had taken his wife's dress and told her she couldn't have it back until I had fucked her. We hadn't been to the club in a couple of months do to life and all, any way near the end of the evening the couple was joking around with each other chasing each other being silly and he said he had to take a breather. He sat down at a chair near where they were being silly and the next thing you know he is slumped over. He quit breathing and his heart stopped. 911 was called they came did what they could and he passed away he was only 43. We watched our friend die in front of us at a swinger club. I guess I am posting this to sort of let everyone know just how short life really is and to try and enjoy as much as you can while you still have it. Sort of in shock still but was glad to see them joke around and be silly with each other. D

[jon&roberta 18]

So young - that is very sad.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Life is a fragile, precious thing. My heart goes out to his wife and family - how difficult this must all be for them. I hope there was some discretion in the reports of his death.

 

Spoomonkey

[starlinn 17]

DaveNSheila ~What an unfortunate experience for you. My thoughts are with his family, and also for you both. Life is so fragile and precious. It is hard to imagine something like that happening.

[Alura 2,774]

My goodness! We're so sorry to hear this, D.

 

Life is too short; one never knows when it will all be over.

 

Alura

[Paramour2_99 0]

To Dave and Sheila

That is a tragic story. To die right in front of your eyes,,,,no doubt that vision will be long lasting for both of you and his wife.

 

I pray he made a decision at some point, hopefully seconds before dieing that he would pray for God's forgiveness for his sins.

 

The legacy that he leaves behind for himself and for his living spouse is particullarly terrible.

 

To have the medics pick-up your corpse at a swingers club. Now all his cousins, nieces, nephews, parents, in-laws, friends, will here rumor of their lifestlye. I'm sure they didn't have "SWNGR" on their license plates. Now the community knows of her activities. No doubt she may end up relocating. If they have children now they may wind up carrying that luggage.

 

Imagine the funeral and the wake. They're not going to discussing how good a man he was, they're going to talk about where he died and the shame therein.

 

Of all the good a person can do in "our short time on this earth" only to die in shame at a swingers club. Yes, we're only on this earth for a short time so we need to live it as "carefully" as possible.

 

My regards and heartfelt wishes go out to the surviving spouse,,,,,"X" Swinger

[DBL D 120]

I know of other sudden deaths...sometimes you find out that the person had a bad heart, or it could've been an anurism. Always sad and gives me pause.

I have a heart condition also. The doc's say it could be a problem if I were to take a good strong blow to the chest. I feel healthy. I've had this condition all my life and have been very active and never had the feeling of having a heart attack or pain or anything. I'll be 50 soon and have great blood pressure and my cholesterol is hanging around 200 with a good ratio of LDL/HDL. Still you never know....

 

Our sympathies to everyone.

 

Male D

[CB_n_Red 16]

Imagine the funeral and the wake. They're not going to discussing how good a man he was, they're going to talk about where he died and the shame therein.

 

What shame? There is nothing intrinsically shameful about swinging. You may find it shameful but it is not such a good idea make such a moral judgement on someone else's choices in life.

 

Of all the good a person can do in "our short time on this earth" only to die in shame at a swingers club. Yes, we're only on this earth for a short time so we need to live it as "carefully" as possible.

 

Or conversely, we should live life to the full, as did the individual we are considering. At least it would appear he had no hang ups about his life.

 

CB

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Dave ~

 

I'm glad you posted this. It is a sad story but also one that leaves me feeling good because the couple was having such fun with each other and their friends right up to the end.

 

My heart goes out to you both.

 

LM

[Sunswept 161]

My gosh D,

Here to listen if things come up for you two as time goe's by.

Things like this remind me that each new dawn is such a gift.

It is such a mystery why and when and how any of us is chosen.

Yes, it is good that they joking around and be silly with each other.

and living each second of this gift.

Take care

[curious1103 16]

I'm sorry this has happened. I feel for his wife and family.

 

One of my life's mantras is "Live life to the fullest, you never know when you might get a second chance, and as far as I know this is your only chance..." and others along those lines.

 

I too have a heart condition and suffer from hypertension. It's genetic, I can't help it. I am on medication and have it under control. It's unnerving hearing your doctor say you're a walking time bomb if left unchecked.

 

So, have fun, folks. Enjoy life. If anything, this guy left this world doing something he enjoyed, not wasting away in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of his body, or old and decrepit and all alone...

[jennandjamesinm 87]

D and S -

 

I think that this is a great reminder of just how short life is and to live it to the fullest. My heart goes out to his wife and family and you and S, but I also think that she (and you and S) will also have a wonderful memory of their last night spent together - being silly and affectionate with each other, and having a good time with their friends.

 

Jenn

[Botcpl 15]

Lots of people die in restaurants, nightclubs and at home on the toilet...there's no shame in any of it.

 

P

[tribbles 490]

While freaky to watch and be present, and he was damn young, I like how he was having fun right to the end and it sounds like a peaceful passing.

 

I'm sorry for your loss.

[curiousagain 326]

Sorry to hear about this and I agree it's a good reminder that we are all just one heartbeat away.

 

Spoo, there will most likely be some discretion. I am in the health care field and we usually practice necessary discretion in "sticky" situations.

[michelle101 15]

What shame? There is nothing intrinsically shameful about swinging. You may find it shameful but it is not such a good idea make such a moral judgement on someone else's choices in life.

 

 

 

Or conversely, we should live life to the full, as did the individual we are considering. At least it would appear he had no hang ups about his life.

 

CB

My thoughts as well! No shame there, just a guy enjoying life.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Spoo, there will most likely be some discretion. I am in the health care field and we usually practice necessary discretion in "sticky" situations.

 

Good - because as we all know - some out there will be more worried about where he died than that he died. His family needs peace and comfort, not the judgement of the small minded.

 

Spoomonkey

[intuition897 2,179]

Good - because as we all know - some out there will be more worried about where he died than that he died. His family needs peace and comfort, not the judgement of the small minded.

 

Spoomonkey

 

Dito The negativity of small minded people is the very thing that perpetuates grief. "Shame, shame, shame!" I don't like that word. I prefer humility. Wallowing in the fact that we are all imperfect does nothing for anyone. Accepting it, getting over it, and getting on with life - living as fully to our potential as we humanly can - is a worthwhile endeavour. A religious comment here: While feelings of shame can, do, and should arise at having 'trespassed against' one another, I doubt that God is more pleased with an ashamed person than a humble one.

 

My first thought at reading Dave's post...well aside from shock...was Wow! If I'm gonna go, I can't think of a better way than to die shakin' what my momma gave on a dance floor, laughing and living life to the fullest, with someone that I dearly love laughing and living right beside me (and for those of you who might be confused about who I mean, I mean my husband. :rollseyes ).

 

The fact that he died doing something he loved probably still comes as cold comfort to his family. Being the surviving spouse is bad, no matter how you look at it. Dave, if you're talking to her again, please let her know that there are a whole lot of people she's never met who are sending her their thoughts and prayers.

[DaveNSheila 16]

Thank you all for your support. Intuition I will let her know. We only knew their first names and knew them only in a club setting. We didn't exchange numbers or get real specifics about everyday life, we chatted a bit about everyday life but nothing real if you know what I mean. I am sure that it wont be mentioned about a swinger club it is an off premises club so everyone was dressed, been looking in the paper to find out any info as far as when the services are and all nothing as of yet. Found out that they were on a yahoo swing club group that we are on as well and that they live in the same city we do so they are fairly close to us. Thanks again to all for the heart felt sympathies, when I get the chance will let the surviving spouse know. D

[pixieandelf7 15]

That's really horrible. I'm so sorry you had to witness that. Hugs.

[Paramour2_99 0]

To Dave and Sheila

 

Have you checked in on the deceased guy's wife? How is she holding up?

 

I sincerely hope her mourning is short. Sincerely "X" Swinger

[DaveNSheila 16]

The service was yesterday and we saw the wife(made eye contact) and that was all. We knew them from the club and didnt exchange any info as ways to meet outside of the club. We left a card at the funeral home for the wife to get and put one of our business cards in it for her to call us if needed. From what we could tell we were the only ones from the swinger life there and we didnt make it known where we knew them from or anything like that. This is the first time having to sort of deal with this so not sure really how to go about it. I mean we understand death and the grieving process and all so wont do anything like that. We knew the couple and would socialize everytime we saw each other timing as far as playing was just off. Now well that is another story. We are hoping that the wife will call us not to play but to just chat and maybe we can build something out and away from the club. If not then hopefully we see her sometime eventually at a club and we can once again chat where everyone is comfortable. Thank you again all for your support and thoughts. D

[Sunswept 161]

....We left a card at the funeral home for the wife to get and put one of our business cards in it for her to call us if needed. From what we could tell we were the only ones from the swinger life there and we didnt make it known where we knew them from or anything like that. This is the first time having to sort of deal with this so not sure really how to go about it.

Never been in that situation either, but I think what you did is what I would have done. Letting her know you are there, are open if she wants to talk to you, but giving her lots of space. I think this was a very classy and sensative way for you to handle things, I think it is what I would have wanted you to do if I were her.

[jnbsmokin 29]

It's awful, but at least it didn't sound painful. We are sorry for the loss, but as others have said, it is good that he had enjoyed his last moments and he left his wife with a somewhat happy memory.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

It's awful, but at least it didn't sound painful. We are sorry for the loss, but as others have said, it is good that he had enjoyed his last moments and he left his wife with a somewhat happy memory.

How sweet! Happy memories indeed! I'm sure that in the years to come, she will smile when she recalls the many details of their last night together! Except for the part where she found him face-down in the meatballs and potato salad, of course.

 

I just wish more people would post positive, upbeat stories like this one!