Do you ever get used to seeing your partner with someone else?

[badbaddee 15]

I've been in the lifestyle now for about 2 years. I have a wonderful partner that I live with and swing with. Here's my question - do you ever get used to seeing your partner with someone else? It is not my favorite part of the deal I have to say. To me, its only fair for me to allow him to be with someone else. I have to be kept busy so to speak in order for him to do this. If I am not, I have trouble with it.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Not only did I get used to it, I looked forward to it. But not only for the reasons that most would believe. (Being the typical male pervert)

 

Laura loves sex, she desires it and deservers nothing but the best of it. It is great seeing her get so much pleasure and excitement with people that she does when she has sex not only with me but with others.

 

It does not get any better then that. Even on cable T.V.

[Vespertine 31]

Not only did I get used to it, I looked forward to it.

Dito

 

It's one of my favorite parts of swinging.

[sweetdelite 15]

Mr. and Mrs. Sweetdelite luv seeing each other in moments of sweet delight....yum

[good times 991]

Not only did I get used to it, I looked forward to it.

 

 

Dito

 

We both like seeing each other having fun with others. If we didn't, I don't think we could continue to do it. As Ves said, it is one of our favorite parts of swinging.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Not only did I get used to it, I looked forward to it.

 

Ok, I'll make it a triple Dito.

 

I just love seeing Mrs two4you enjoy herself. She feels the same about my pleasure.

 

We wouldn't swing if one of us felt like we "owed" it to the other to let them participate.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Hello badbaddee,

 

Welcome to the board.

 

It did not bother me the first time I saw my husband enjoying sex with another woman and it still doesn't after a year.

 

If you are still bothered by watching your man with others, after two years of swinging, I'd suggest trying to figure out why. Have you talked to him about how you feel?

 

LM

[xxoticangel 99]

I (male) love seeing my wife enjoy herself wheather it is in the bedroom or any other amusement park. She, on the other hand, does not particularly enjoy watching me with another woman. We have done it many times but the only time she is at peace is if she has someone to play with too. This is another reason we have become almost exclusively MFM.

[NakedInSeattle 159]

Ditto to all before me on this issue. It's the most magical thing about swinging - seeing and hearing my lover receiving pleasure. Knowing that it's not love that she is feeling, just lust and pleasure.

[Greg & Sheryl 369]

We thoroughly enjoy seeing each other with other partners. But, as LikeMinds321 suggested, if you are still having a problem with this after two years, you are going to have to discuss this issue with your partner. One solution might be to play only in separate rooms.

[lonesomedove341 15]

I thought I would jump in here and answer or give my two cents also..

 

For me personaly (the female half) we have only been with one other couple. I was so busy I really didnt get to see anything.. But I heard it all... And I must say that in itself was a huge major turn on for me. Just knowing he was enjoying himself so much and that the other woman was having a good time also. I can say that it didnt bother me in the least..And am looking forwrad to it happening again...

 

We have had a a few threesomes with an ex-gf of mine. Although it was just soft swap for them. It was also a turn on to see and hear that.

 

Amy

[bear_and_babe 68]

Both Bear and I enjoy watching each other with another partner. So much so sometimes we get so distracted watching that we tend to forget the partner we are with! For that reason, we sometimes like separate rooms, so we can give our full attention to our partner. But it is still fun to be able to hear each other, even if we can't see each other.

[badbaddee 15]

thanks for the replies folks. this helps me out a lot.

[Chicup 42]

At first I had no desire to see Mrs. Chicup with another man. It didn't overly bother me, but I still had that vanilla streak of jealousy which of course was insecurity.

 

After we played a couple of times and we really became much closer because of it, I now enjoy her enjoying herself. I've even set up MFM's for her with a good friend of ours (who is part of a LS couple we play with) and get a kick out of how much fun she has. Prior to this I would have NEVER dreamed of setting up an MFM.

 

Once the insecurities question is answered and you realize your marriage has nothing to do with sex but is a true union between you and your spouse, and you don't have to worry about her liking someone else better (or whatever your personal insecurities are) you can really enjoy the experience.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Both Bear and I enjoy watching each other with another partner. So much so sometimes we get so distracted watching that we tend to forget the partner we are with! For that reason, we sometimes like separate rooms, so we can give our full attention to our partner. But it is still fun to be able to hear each other, even if we can't see each other.

I've found myself doing this and Drew has too. But, I think if we were in seperate rooms it would be even worse, because then I'd be straining to hear what was going on.

 

To answer the original question, I find it incredibly erotic to see Drew pleasuring another woman. Swinging wouldn't be hardly any fun at all if we didn't enjoy that, I think. Perhaps it is time to take a step back. Is it maybe because he does something with others that he doesn't do with you? Is it something else? I think there probably something more to this and you should talk to each other to figure out what it is.

 

Pepper

[lovedoctor 15]

It gives me that warm wet feeling to think about Mr. Lovedoctor doing another girl while I am being done by her man. I don't think I would like it so much if I couldn't watch. I don't think I'd be good with separate play just yet. Mr. Lovedoctor doesn't know how comfortable he feels with a MFM just yet either, but I could do a FMF just fine. He's just gotta get with the program cuz I found the perfect guy. I'm just biding my time...

[HotMoCpl 20]

My wife and I have been together for over 15 years now, and I finally got her interested in investigating this lifestyle. She's finally told me that her doing another guy with me sounds interesting, but she just can't see me with another woman. :rollseyes This stems back a few years after she pulled up her roots to move from Missouri to Michigan to be with me.....I wasn't even divorced yet. A girl she worked with told her that she would screw me even before it happened. I guess I'm pretty damn lucky to still be with her and we are so in love with each other. No real advise here, just maybe the difference is we're married. Just don't marry the guy for that reason though. Marry him only if you two really "CLICK".

[nicecpl89511 15]

I am not used to seeing my S/O with another woman and I hope I never get "used" to it...each time is very exciting for me to watch him with another woman. I agree with Lonesome dove...that hearing Joe with another woman is a major turnon. Joe feels the same way about seeing me with another man/men. A mjor part of swinging for us is seeing our partner being pleased and pleasing others.

Wanda

[My77038 15]

We have not yet been with another couple. Well not counting the college dorm years. We are still in the talking and plannig stage. I (female) would prefer at first fmf or a couple for soft swing. I have not gotten around to thought a full swap because i really have no desire to be with another man. I do on the other hand want to see my S/O and I pleasure another woman and vice versa. If we could find a couple who wouldnt mind us pleasuring the female half and maybe some non penatrating play with the male that would be great. From what I have read it might be difficult. We will see what happens. We had a long talk to day about or first time out at the club together this coming up weekend (encounter). We are very excited..!! Let you all know how goes next week.

 

 

MM

[2BwthUorNot 15]

I've been in the lifestyle now for about 2 years. I have a wonderful partner that I live with and swing with. Here's my question - do you ever get used to seeing your partner with someone else? It is not my favorite part of the deal I have to say. To me, its only fair for me to allow him to be with someone else. I have to be kept busy so to speak in order for him to do this. If I am not, I have trouble with it.

 

Hi all, I don't believe there should be a timeframe to bring issues like this up. The minute you feel uncomfortable with anything, is the time to bring it up. If you feel 2 years from now and long after you have "got used to seeing your partner with someone else", the feeling returns, don't hesitate to discuss it with your partner. There are no rules here. Everyone goes at their own pace. Some of us can share similar experiences and can help other people by answering questions from the less experienced. The feelings the new swingers' experienced today are no different than the ones you had when you just started. Ultimately the feelings we get from swinger situations are similar but they can very greatly on how the feeling affected them. We seldom can control when or how hard a feeling is going to touch us. Understand it IS ok to have the feelings you have. It is also ok to NEVER be comfortable with seeing your partner with someone else. You must decide how important this is to you and discuss it with your partner and agree on a solution that is comfortable to both of you.

 

OK, Maybe there is just "one" rule for swingers. Rule #1 Don't do anything for anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable**. ** If you EVER become uncomfortable, discuss the issue with your partner. Your partner would want you to be comfortable.

[HornyCouple 15]

I always look forward to seeing her with another man. In fact that is my biggest reason for playing.