Have you ever had a sexual partner that was a better lover than your spouse?

[Tina and Bob 236]

Hi, seems like I might be in the minority here, although not based on the poll responses. Bob and I are always interested in knowing that the other had an enjoyable experience, and although I have had really good vaginal penetration sex; yes better than Bob in many instances, I never bring that up to him. In terms of oral, Bob is the best I've ever had, I think mostly because he knows what I like and is so patient with it. I've never asked Bob if other woman are better than me either orally or sexually as I realize that no matter how good you are at anything, there's always someone better. If you play enough it will happen. I say enjoy it for the moment it is and realize sex is not love. Tina

[MIbbwcpl 67]

I have encountered people who have certain techniques or assets better than my hubby's, and I tell him that. He's encountered women with the same, and he's told me. But overall, I wouldn't say I've ever encountered a better lover than he. There is something about that emotional connection, it's just more satisfying with him.

[charms123 52]

It has happened twice and I kept it to myself. he does not have to really know about it. he does ask every time "was he better than me" and my answer is always "he was different than you... just different, and I love what both of you do to me."

 

He might know but no need to go down that road.

 

But when it is better.... HOLY SHIT is it better! lol

[olderyder 15]

Real simple answer here.....NOPE! Of course, the fact that I've never had another sexual partner since we joined the LS might have something to do with that.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Real simple answer here.....NOPE! Of course, the fact that I've never had another sexual partner since we joined the LS might have something to do with that.

 

Dude, you are depressing.

 

I have read your post over the last year and I know you believe that there are reasons you think the LS is hopeless for you, mostly the age difference between you and your wife.

 

But you wife finds you attractive enough, so might other people. I have never met you or seen your photo, but I think the biggest turn off you have going for you is your attitude.

 

If people get the "the LS sucks because no one ways to have sex with me" vibe from you, and I am betting they do, then you are dead in the water no matter what else you have going for you.

 

I am not sure what to tell you to shake you out of it, but you need to try something. Try to enjoy the lifestyle.

[Tina and Bob 236]

I love your response to your husband; I think it's very classy and also considerate. Bob and I don't really question if others are better, we're just happy for each others satisfying and enjoyable experiences, but if he asks, I now have the perfect response. Thank you, Tina

 

 

 

 

It has happened twice and I kept it to myself. he does not have to really know about it. he does ask every time "was he better than me" and my answer is always "he was different than you... just different, and I love what both of you do to me."

 

He might know but no need to go down that road.

 

But when it is better.... HOLY SHIT is it better! lol

 

N

[MN Tom 251]

Haven't had one better yet, but we are still looking and hoping!

 

We know we each have plenty to learn, so we try to share what we like and dislike from others.

 

My wife has had a guy (her favorite to this point) who was pretty good, he possibly has the potential to be better with a few more practice runs. They really click together by the sounds of it, Im hoping to see them in action sometime.

 

I havent had anyone close yet, had a few decent ones (who maybe would have been good with a few more sessions), some average and one crappy one (she was great at the "vanilla stuff" like kissing but just sucked at oral and held herself back too much in the sack).

[TheBucketList 15]

I think if it came up that either of us had an encounter where the sex was better than what happens between us -we would be more than willing to bring it up and discuss it.

 

The conversation would most likely include why it was better, were there things that were done that we don't normally do? Was it situational? What it hotter because of where we had sex, because of the state of mind the person was in, was there something that triggered it? (She said something sexy that triggered it) Things like that we tend to be very open with each other even in our everyday normal life. From our perspective great sex with someone else, just gives us more opportunity to increase the amount of great sex we have together.

[WeHoos 41]

Male half here, I have not had a better lover in bed, but I have had a better kisser.

[prairieshadows 95]

We've been with other couples where for Bryan, the wife of the other couple was better at something than me. Case in point, we met a couple where the wife is better at blow jobs than I am, he told me, I was ok with, mainly because I don't care to give blow jobs. And I didn't feel at all jealous because I know he won't leave me for a woman who can give better blow jobs than I do. He likes mine as well;)

[drinnt 201]

If you had something done to you sexually by the other wife or husband of a couple, do you tell you SO that they did something sooo good that it was the best ever not even with you SO. If you do tell your SO, how do you bring it up or tell your SO?? I am interested in hearing from both sides on this issue.

 

Thanks everyone!

 

I've had sex with partners other than my spouse that was just as good as most sex I've had with my wife. But the BEST sex I've ever had has still been the sex I have had with my SO. We know eachother so well and have had the time and inclination to cultivate ideal lovers between us. That's simply not possible with a stranger. I think some folks have this romantic inclination that they will meet some partner that will BLOW THEM AWAY and that is some sign they are with the wrong person.

 

We have each had swing partners that did "this" or "that" that we liked. We share that so we can learn. I can learn from guys she's been with and she can learn from girls I've been with. For example through swinging my wife's blowjob skills have improved tenfold just from things I've shared with her which now has given her incredible blowjob confidence and now I love a good bj whereas before I would rather fuck. For me I have learned to to be more passionately aggressive and go after her instead of waiting for her to come to me. Through hearing what has turned her on about other guys I've been able to express that side of myself and it drives her wild.

 

So in my opinion if you DON'T share then you are missing out.

[sailorcat 17]

I believe the poll says it all "It has happened but I would never discuss it", which is reflected in most of the comments I have read which keep on like a stuck record about how fantastic their wife/husband is. No doubt that is true. But I think we (me and wife) swing for variety of experiences and fantasies which we both have and wish to live out. I have watched my wife have the ride of her life with a guy who was much bigger than me. She enjoyed it and explained that he was very muscular and had a nice size penis and so felt really good. She did not have an orgasm with him because she needs oral to get her off but we know that what she experienced with this guy was better than I could do for her. I do not have the six pack athletic build (this guy was also much taller than me) and I do not have the size of equipment he has. He had a good girth which she said filled her up nicely.

 

I like her honesty and am really happy that she had a good time which is the whole point of us swinging. I understood that right from the beginning of our swinging journey that somewhere along the way there is going to be someone who does this or that better than me. Some of this I can learn from but some I will not be able to reproduce as is the case with this last guy. I think that even if we were have sex with each other, sometimes it will be fantastic and other times not so incredible. Perhaps if she went with another well-endowed guy it may be good or not so good. There is no guarantee that you will have the same experience each time.

 

Anyway, we are always honest with each other and discuss our adventures in detail. It is a part of our fun and we both find it a turn-on to hear how each other has enjoyed their swing.

[M&S 266]

Just voted - said I have and would tell, but for me there is a caveat. Both my wife and I have had others do particular things to us that are amazing (better then we do to each other). I have had no problem telling my wife that the way another woman spoke dirtily or massaged around my ass was a huge turn on and what my wife should try to incorporate it into her repertoire. My wife has said the same to me after playing with another man or woman. I am very comfortable talking about this with her

 

BUT if I had an experience with another woman that was in every sense better than an experience I have ever had with my wife, that would be much harder. I do not know if I could disclose that (or frankly even acknowledge it to myself)

[Guest EastBayCouple]

Two pillars of the swing community are communication and trust. Additionally, it is almost universally agreed that keeping jealousy at bay is key.

 

So what does this poll say about the differences in what we say and how we act.

 

Wow, that's an EXCELLENT point! Kinda shows how we all view ourselves and how we want to feel / believe vs. how we act.

 

Assume a couple has perfect communication, perfect trust (no jealousy), perfect love (willing to see the other person just be happy independent of oneself).

 

If that's the case, why wouldn't this be something very readily discussed openly and fully?

 

We're still very new to this and we feel like our communication, trust, and love is pretty strong. With that said, I don't think I would want to hear someone else is better and I know my spouse wouldn't want to hear it either.

[ricksara 15]

Over the years, if I had a sex partner who pleased me in a different way than Rick, we would always talk about it. We learned a lot of new things that way. Rick did the same with me. The more we learn, the more we can please the ones we truly love. It has worked for us and we know a lot of very fun things to do to and with each other. Maybe that is why we have been married for so many years. We must be doing something right.

 

Sara

[wv8177 15]

Of course when it is FF you cant really compare it to your spouse but as far as the MF aspect I flat out told my husband "hey if she does something better have her teach me lol" at the end of the night its us that goes home and it has been such a sexual enhancer and actually makes me appreciate the lovemaking I have with my husband and I have new images implanted in my head to make things steamy lol. Communication is key though for sure!