Staying a virgin and swinging

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Hi everybody,

A question to all the swinger on the board.

Can a virgin stay a virgin & swing? & why would a virgin want to stay a virgin & be a part of the swinging community?I was reading an old post about a female virgin & i also notice some virgin men posting on this board too.I had to post & hear what other swinger feel about this topic.

These virgins are coming to swinger for sexual experiences.Whats you're opinion?

Cabrownsugar

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Interesting question, it's something I've wondered about. Why would a virgin want to begin their sexual escapades by swinging? That's like jumping off the high dive into 20ft of water when you don't know how to swim.

 

For some who have posted here (typically the guys) it seems like they think that by coming to those who they think have the MOST experience they will get the best introduction to sex. For others, I think it is because they are so scared of approaching the opposite sex that they think if they can hook up with swingers they won't have to, that someone will just jump them - because isn't that what us swingers do?

 

Then again in today's society of abstinence meaning you can do everything BUT have vaginal intercourse, I would imagine that some of those "virgins" are already pretty experienced and figure they can just keep doing what they've been doing (possibly have already been doing in groups of friends) and still stay a "virgin".

[Cabrownsugar 15]

JustAskJulie,

 

Thanks for your reply.I guess i should tell you something about myself.I'm a 35 year old virgin woman.I'm waiting for LTR or marriage to have vaginal sex.I've never experience outercourse either(oral sex or anal sex)

The reason why i'm interested in the BDSM & Swinger communities.The one thing i love about both communities.It's like a family & both communities try to make it safe for women to explore their sexuality .Thats what i want to do.

My story.One day i will not be a virgin.I feel i shouldn't have to wait to educate myself about sex.There are alot of stereotypes about older virgins over 30.One we're naive about sex.I'm not.

So justAskJulie I'm coming to your community to educate myself about sex.I'm also asking men and women swinger for their help in educating me.I might not be about to act out on some things but i can learn by being a voyeur & maybe some sexual act that doesn't mean me having vaginal or anal sex.

I'm hoping to find & talk to fellow single women swinger to hopefully be a sex couch to me.I would like to go to a swinger party as a voyeur or go to a masturbation party.

I know i'm going to get some confusion from some people on this board but i hope.My post gets some understanding.So please don't ask me for vaginal sex.That is not my goal.My goal is to educate myself & explore my sexuality as a virgin. Oh and no i don't have a trusted man to help me.

Thanks for the support.

CAbrownsugar

[Spoomonkey 421]

This is a good topic - and I hope you forgive me for being very honest, but I think it can make for good discussion.

 

As a swinging couple, we have enjoyed a few MFF with other females and they are almost always memorable experiences. But, simply to have a voyeur in the room... Well - no...

 

I have a bit of an exhibitionist side. I think Mrs Spoo is beautiful and that our sex is animalistic and exciting and would be quite a show for anyone. But, the kink for me would be the "pornographic charge" of it all; knowing that the people watching us are getting turned on by it - not simply being educated - watching us like a show on the Discovery Channel.

 

Meeting a woman who is a virgin (in itself would be a turn off for us, simply because we prefer to play with people who have a deeper understanding of sex and their sexuality) and plans to stay that way would only present us with the question of "what are we supposed to do with her?"

 

"Sit here in the corner and take notes..." (?)

 

Not exactly our idea of a good time...

 

It may be considered a benevolent act - a public service perhaps - but it wouldn't enhance our marriage and our sex life. And that is, bottom line, why we do it: for us. That may sound selfish, but we ARE talking about openning up our bedroom - a very private, personal space - to others.

 

Why virgins would seek out swingers? I don't know - I do suppose that Julie is right on the mark, as are you. We are an open, accepting community - as long as people are not trying to force us outside of our comfort zones for their own gain.

 

But we are not a group of people who are simply going to jump any fully functioning person indiscriminately - as many seem to believe. Nor are we so rampantly sexual that we don't care who watches, jumps in or knows about what we do. I think virgins (males, specifically, as I would not classify you in this statement) and cheaters come here for the same thing - easy sex... And that is one thing they will be hard pressed to find here. They would have far better luck in any bar on any given night than they would here.

 

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Spoo brought up what would be my question as well.

 

WHY? If you have no interest in sex (vaginal, oral or anal) what is it that you plan to do? What do you plan to give? You want education, what do those who educate you get in return?

 

I can see the BDSM community being a better place for someone in your situation because BDSM is typically NOT sex, the whole idea of the bdsm culture is that while it may be at turn-on, sex and bdsm rarely ever mix, it's about the bondage and the pain aspects of things. But then how does that help you explore your sexuality?

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Thanks everybody for the debate.Spoomonkey,JustAskJulie & other swingers.I have to thank all of you for your sexually freedom & sharing your views with me pro or con.I'm learning from you.It makes it easy for me to explore my sexuality.There are alot of stereotype about virgins & yes us virgin stereotype nonvirgin people too.I've been exploring my sexuality as a virgin for 5 years now.I'm not going to stop now after suppressing my sexual freedom because of virgin stereotype.Virgin are naive to sex & virgin should only learn about sex after their first time.I'm not waiting & i shouldn't have too

I use to judge BDSM & swinger communities until i befriended some people.It's like a family & some people are willing to help eachother.Both communities are very protective of eachother.I think a virgin can learn alot from both communities without having vaginal or anal sex.There are some virgins who could use a sex coach before having vaginal sex.I know some nonvirgin hate being a teacher but one time in your sex life.You did or wish you did have one..

I know some swingers are not into voyeurism but all of us are voyeur.I know i'm not going to get much replies from this board but i hope i do from some swinger women.I hope another woman would like to help another women & show her. What does it mean to be sexual confident free woman & how to turn a man on.

My fantasy is to have man or woman watch me masturbate.I want to know how it feel to turn a person on by masturbating.There are things i would like to do to a woman put on a strap on dildo & finger fuck a woman.I have no interest in a woman doing me except breast play.Men.I would like to do hand jobs on a man.I would like to talk dirty & take advantage of a man while another woman fucking him.My all time favorite fantasy.I would like to fuck a man with a strap on dildo in the ass.

I know.I won't be receiving vaginal,anal or maybe oral sex but i do hope either BDSM or swinger communities can help me express those fantasy.

Really thanks for the talk.I might not be having sex but i think i still can go to a swinger party & enjoy everybody company.

CAbrownsugar

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Spoomonkey,

I would like to address your post.Yes i want to be educated about sex but i also want to be turn on.i'm not going to be taking note & just looking.I will respect your private bedroom.

I did get invited to a swing party in California last year but i couldn't make it.I wasn't planning on staying in a corner quietly.I was planning on masturbating.i wasn't going to let couples or women to women have all the fun.I'm a seriuos female voyeur & i get turn on touching & talking to people while a couple or women are having sex..

Spoomonkey i might not let people perform vaginal,anal or oral sex or me but i want to perform anal sex on men, strap on sex with women,breast play with women & i'm still underdecided about performing oral sex.

I just hope both communitiies BDSM or Swinger will give me that chance.I hope not all swingers are not turn off by female voyeurs.I just want the chance to explore my sexuality as a virgin & when the time is right.I won't be too naive when i do decide to have vaginal sex or any other sex.

Thanks for you opinon.

CAbrownsugar

[Spoomonkey 421]

I am sure that you will very likely find couples who will play within your comfort zones - and good luck to you in that!

 

I just thought it made an interesting topic and felt I could/should post how we would approach it.

 

The phrase "not my cup of tea" is a pretty popular one around here - and this would probably fall under that for us. But, I certainly don't think there is any thing wrong with it at all - and I have no doubt that there are couples out there who will accomodate you.

 

Spoomonkey

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Spoomonkey,

 

(kiss)Thanks for your support.

Cabrownsugar

[Spoomonkey 421]

Spoomonkey,

 

(kiss)Thanks for your support.

Cabrownsugar

 

I pretty much do anything for kisses

 

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

There are couples out there who are looking for an extra female for soft-swinging, for some of them you may be a perfect fit... others will look at your limits as a bit too tight (but that can happen regardless of where your limits are).

 

No one is trying to pigeonhole you or stereotype you, just trying to understand what it is that you are looking for/ wanting.

 

How has your experience been so far with swinging, have you been able to find others who are interested in playing with your limitations?

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Spoomonkey,

I could use your ass.Another kiss to you.LOl

CaBrownsugar

[Cabrownsugar 15]

JustaskJulie,

I really haven't been to a swinger party yet or had any big problem with swingers or BDSM crowd..The problem.The timing is alway wrong for me to go to events.Where i live in Cailfornia.It's kinda boring & laid back.I would have to go to San Francisco to play but I'm not familiar with the scene over there.

I've mostly been trying to find single women(straight,bicuriuos,bisexual or lesbian) to meet offline but i'm not having any luck.Most of the women live outside of Northern California.I think i would be more comfortable masturbating in front of a woman first.

I mean once i get over that step.I want to fullful my female voyeur side watch couples,lesbian & gay men have sex.Justask julie I wouldn't mind watching you have sex with a man or woman & while he/she fucking you.I would love to come over there. I would whisper dirty thoughts in your ears while you moan.I would rub,lick, & nibbling all over your body.Hmm maybe rub your clit.I would go over to the man whisper dirty thought to him too.I would push my hip into his ass.He needs to fuck you more.

Trust me.i'm not going to be sitting in a corner..I want some fun too.

CAbrownsugar

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I find the subject of virginity very confusing. I mean, if you are a lesbian who has never had sex with a man and never intend to but you've done everything under the sun with your lover are you still a virgin? Where is the line drawn? Or is it a personal label and one can apply to one's self similar to bisexual?

 

On the subject of finding single women. As a single woman you will probably have a lot more luck than couples do but the fact remains, single women are a minority in the swinging community. And the one's you do find aren't likely to be straight. Has anyone out there ever found the elusive single straight female? bi curious and bisexual single women do exist here, there aren't a lot of 'em but they do exist.

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Miss Piggy,

 

I don't mind talking with a bisexual or lesbian female swinger.I think a woman body is beautiful. i just think i would feel more comfortable having a woman touch my breast & watch me masturbate first.My goal is to be comfortable masturbaing in front of people period. I just need to find some women

Nice talking to you Miss piggy.

CaBrownsugar

[montresor 19]

I've been in situations like this, where there is someone who is mostly watching and masturbating. It usually happens in the context of a larger group, where there's a nice big tangle of people on the bed, and one or two people on the sidelines, watching, masturbating, touching sometimes, etc. It was perfectly natural and no-one felt that these people were fifth wheels. The sexual energy enclosed everyone regardless of the level of participation.

 

I think Cabrownsugar has a perfectly fine idea that allows her to explore her sexuality and stay within her own comfort zone. I also applaud her refusal of labels. If labels were to govern us all, I'd have missed out on some of the best sex I ever had, with a woman who society would have called a lesbian because she was in a long-standing relationship with another woman and hadn't been with a man for a decade or so, the lovely Ms F, who is now a regular playmate with me in the swingers' scene. The term "lesbian" meant little enough as she fucked me every conceivable way she could -- while, by the way, her female partner watched, masturbated, stroked and guided my cock into her lover's pussy, and used a dildo on my bottom while I fucked her partner. Another "no-penetration" participant, but I felt as if I'd had sex with both of them.

[curiouscouple4f 17]

Spoomonkey,

Spoomonkey i might not let people perform vaginal,anal or oral sex or me but i want to perform anal sex on men, strap on sex with women,breast play with women & i'm still underdecided about performing oral sex.

I just hope both communitiies BDSM or Swinger will give me that chance.I hope not all swingers are not turn off by female voyeurs.I just want the chance to explore my sexuality as a virgin & when the time is right.I won't be too naive when i do decide to have vaginal sex or any other sex.

 

Hi, My husband and I are new to the swinger community, but not to sex and exploration. I personally would have loved to have had a "sex coach" female BEFORE I had sex the first time. I waited until I was almost 20. (I did not! enjoy my first time at all) I think that becoming comfortable with sexual activity is a must before taking that final step. My husband and I would not be bothered by a voyeur in the room, I think it would be fun to tease, and be teased (even with limits) by another woman. Being comfortable with yourself makes everything sooo much more enjoyable. I think that my husband would enjoy watching a woman masturbate while I gave an "instructional" blowjob

 

"The Mrs."

[Cabrownsugar 15]

montresor,

I wish i was Ms f. female partner.I would have love to guide your cock into her pussy & fuck your ass.

Thats what i want to do watch & masturbate.Any woman needs my nipples while being fuck.i just come over & feel her up while she's being fuck.

Thanks for the support.I need to find me some Ca swingers.

CAbrownsugar

[Cabrownsugar 15]

curiouscouple4f,

You can be my teacher any time.LOL

Cabrownsugar

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

montresor,

 

I wish i was Ms f. female partner. I would have love to guide your cock into her pussy & fuck your ass. Thats what i want to do watch & masturbate.Any woman needs my nipples while being fuck.i just come over & feel her up while she's being fuck. Thanks for the support.I need to find me some Ca swingers.

After reading all of your posts I wonder if your desire to remain a virgin until you're in a LTR or marry is more a fetish than based on some interest in saving yourself for that special person.

 

You have uniquely tagged yourself, it will be hard to cut that tag free after living to the age of 35 and still not wanting vaginal sex or to experience "outercourse either (oral sex or anal sex)."

 

People can talk to you about sex, you can watch it, you can fuck other people with your strap on, but none of that is going to be anything like when you experience sex yourself.

 

Tell me this, how will you feel if next year, or five or ten years from now, you meet the person you want to finally have intercourse or oral with and it's not what you imagined it to be? Maybe it's better or worse than you imagined. How will that make any difference in your love and commitment to that person?

 

LM

[Chicup 41]

Honey what you need to find is a LTR.

 

While I'm sure you will find couples desperate enough for a single female they will play with your rules, I would find it somewhat disturbing that a 35 year old was still a virgin, wanted to swing, and hasn't been in a LTR (at least where sex was involved). This isn't meant to be harsh, but my guess is you have some serious issues if you don't want to have any sexual contact on yourself but you want to fuck a man up the ass with a strap on. These issues are not something I would want to come up in a play session.

 

Swinging for most of us is an off shoot of our sex life, not our sex life in itself. I honestly think the best thing for you would be to talk with a qualified sex therapist and figure out where all the issues are.

[Cabrownsugar 15]

LikeMinds321 & Chicup,

Thanks for your post but i could say the same for you as a swinger.Some people think you guys need professional help & ruining society.We need to stop stereotyping eachother.Why is me exploring my sexuality as a virgin a threat to a swinger.I would be honor that a virgin came to me to learn about sex.I hope what i taught her or him would mean a positive thing.

I as a virgin have a right to prepare myself sexually.I shouldn't have to wait til the moment it happens.Society tells us virgins.That's my role.I never follow anybody rules & i know you as a swinger not either

What's wrong with me watching people having sex.Most people watch porn.That's voyeurism.

Another virgin stereotype.I have issue.The only issue. i'm having right now.I'm waiting for the right man to have vaginal sex.I'm trying to prepare myself sexually.A man with my consent can touch me .i'm not going to run in a corner & hide.I know what i want sexually.I don't need a sex therapist.I was rape or sexually abused

LikeMinds321 i can lose my virginity tonight if i wanted too.My virginity means alot to me.It's not a fetish to wait for vaginal sex.I want to meet the right man.I almost did with 2 men these last 2 years.

LikeMinds321 I wish you knew me in person.I already have my mind prepare for sex being terrible or great.I've been involved with men with low sex drive,celibate ,high sex drive & sex addict.I can be in a sexless or open marriage.

Thanks for your opinion LikeMinds321 & Chicup.No matter how you feel.I hope you'll support me. As I support you as a swinger.Sex is not just a penis in a vagina,ass or mouth.

Cabrownsugar

[montresor 19]

Cabrownsugar, if you're ever in Cleveland, let me know!

[De and Ci 19]

cabrownsugar, You ought to at least try oral sex and some ass pounding anal. I mean, your willing to fuck another woman or man with a strap-on. So one could make the case that since your doing the penetrating-you'd lose your "virginity" in the same sense that a man would. At any rate, engaging in oral or anal would still leave your "cherry" intact, so technically-you'd remain a virgin and be having a lot more fun than you would otherwise.

[Cabrownsugar 15]

montresor,

LOL

CAbrownsugar

[Cabrownsugar 15]

De and Ci,

 

I'm not interested in receiving anal.I am interested in receiving & giving oral sex.

Cabrownsugar

[Sunnylow67 15]

Interesting concept of virginity. Is virginity merely just a concept of physical state?

 

Or is it more on the concept of sexual experience?

 

We can go back to basics here:

Why people want to keep their virginity?

Some are because of religion/custom/law

Some are because of moral values

Some are because of medical conditions

etc....etc.....

 

Then, what is the definition of virginity?

From Oxford Advance Learner's Dictionary:

Virgin:

1. a person esp. a girl or woman, who has never had sexual intercourse

 

adjective:

in an original or natural condition; untouched

 

So by participating in a BDSM or swinger's party, you are subjecting yourself: your body and mind to a sexual experience with people other than your own husband. You're touching yourself by masturbating.

 

You're having intercourse with others by penetrating them with a strap-on dilds.

 

So what's the specials for the hubby?

 

Can you claim that you had never had any sexual intercourse?

 

If virginity is defined as a state of never having any vaginal insertion (or torn of hymen for some) then inserting tampons or even the doctors' fingers during O&G examination will definitely blow it.

 

Torn hymen can happen in a rigorous exercise. It happened to a friend of mine while in secondary school.

 

To me: virginity is more on the sexual experience that you are saving for that special someone. To explore each other's experience for the first time. Because some religions teach it to be sacret.

 

It is certainly not the case in swinger's club where you share your most intimate moment with other than only your own husband.

 

Think about it and I hope that you find your way.

[Chicup 41]

If Cabrownsugar was a 35 year old virgin male who wanted to do the same things, I wonder if people would be giving the same advice.

[intravox 15]

I just read the first page of post and lost track of the issue....

 

Lets define Virgin and Swinger..... no, I won't go there. :-D

 

But if a virgin and a swinger persons are defined by what they do or haven't done, I think this two terms are mutually exclusive.

 

Under the "classic" point of view, a swinger cannot be virgin, because the fact that a swinger has sex with another person different than hi/her spouse. You got the point. It might be a virgin ina swinger forum or group, but not a virgin swinging.

 

You got the point.

 

Greetings from Vancouver, eh?

[Carol_Danny 17]

Many years ago, we had a long term MFF relationship with a neighbour, who was a virgin, and intended on staying one until she married. She became very bisexual, and had a relationship with Carol that spanned a number of years (until we moved away). She was extremely sexual, and we had great threesomes. She even loved to swallow! Her virginity was a topic of discussion, but she couldn't even fully explain it. She wanted to save that first penetration as her "gift" to her husband. We respected her for it, and she held true to herself. She did get married, and that wedding night must have been insane

 

 

As to single guys who say they are still Virgins....I'll let you into a little secret, most aren't! There is a myth amongst single men where they think "Swingers" are all into virgins, and that their chances of getting laid are higher of they say they are virgins. I do know of a few guys that have been successful with that ploy. I have come across this discussion on a few different boards, where guys were talking about how to hook up with Swingers. Invariably, someone would mention the "pretend to be a virgin" game.

 

Personally, we won't entertain "virgins". We prefer our partners with a bit of experience

 

Danny & Carol

[De and Ci 19]

So what's the specials for the hubby?

 

Good point. I can see the conversation on their wedding night. "Well Honey, I circle-jerked 40 guys at this one party-Had to take a long shower to get all the splooge out of my hair, I fucked about 20 guys and gals with a strap-on, I've had lots of women take turns licking my snatch while I licked theirs, I masturbated in front of 50 people at this other party, but hey, I'm a Virgin, my hoochie has never been penetrated by a real live tallywhacker, I'm as pure as the driven snow!"

I don't think most guys have this in mind when imagining a Virgin.

[Couple-N-NM 48]

nevermind. I can't get my point out of my head and onto the screen so that it makes sense.

 

Hope you find what you're looking for.

[Cabrownsugar 15]

I think society & Homesexual wanting to be heard has confused the definition of the word virgin.The word never changed.It's people who want to change the word.

A virgin( point blank) is a man or woman who never had vaginal sex with the opposite sex.It's a gay man or lesbian who has to define their virginity not a bisexual or heterosexual person.Most people will have had vaginal sex in their lifetime unless due to medical reason or asexual.Even gay men & lesbian will have vaginal sex with the opposite sex.

I notice in the 90's. The virgin definition is being challenge because The gay community wants to be heard.Sex is like a pie .There are differant cuts to the pie.A virgin who practice outercourse is stil a virgin until vaginal sex.Everybody wants to say what about anal,oral or first kiss.What happen she use a tampon or dildo.Doesn't matter. A virgin is a virgin until she has vaginal sex.This was the rules in the olden day like it or not. The sex act that lead to prengancy counted not the other act.

What about Gay men if a gay man never has vaginal sex with a woman.Anal sex means he lost his virginity.A lesbian if she never has vaginal sex with a man. They say oral sex means she lost her virginity.

You might not like the rules but those are the rules.People need to stop changing the rules.

Cabrownsugar

[Cabrownsugar 15]

De and Si,

 

Most men are being educated about Today virgins.Virgins are claiming their sexuality.We shouldn't have to wait til our wedding night just to learn about sex.Some of us are learning about outercourse & some of us like me are still strict virgin.We've never done anything .

I haven't had any complains from nonvirgin men about exploring my sexuality as a virgin. Most nonvirgin people don't understand but i rather have virgins practice outercourse then make a mistake and have vaignal sex knowing it was a mistake..

Nobody 100% pure.We're all unpure one way or another. My future man not goingto be worried about my strap on dildo or masturbuting in front of some people.My man going to be wishing.i masturbate in front of him & using my strap on dildo on him.The men i talk too know i'm a freak & I don't hide what i'm thinking or what i'm planning on doing to my men..

Cabrownsugar

[De and Ci 19]

Cabrownsugar, You got some strange views about sex. As someone else said, it sounds like you have a fetish.

[Cabrownsugar 15]

Wow it's been a long time scent i've posted on this board.Hello everybody.I'm going to answer De and Ci question about virginity.

I don't have a fetish or strange view about sex.All i want to do is educate myself about sex before i lose my virginity via LT relationship or marriage.Society tells virgins we shouldn't educate ourselves about sex until it's time.

My question is why should i have to wait until my wedding night or LT relationship to educate myself about sex.I'm not into casual intercourse but outercourse???.I'm coming to the swinger community to educate myself about sex.So when i do have intercourse.I'm not naive about the subject.

P.S I have to say one more thing. Everybody on this board has been VERY friendly to me.Yes i got some weird comment.What is a virgin doing here but it's good to know sexually active people can welcome a virgin in their community.I had my own stereotype about swingers but this community has educated me about sex and all i have to say is Thank you.Your words good or bad meant alot to me.

[Couple_N_Ark 39]

We're just curious....once you actually lose your virginity, and possibly marry, are you interested in becoming a swinger?

 

Just curious since you seem to be wanting to learn about swinging? Or is it just learning about sex with your future partner?

[prettylady 221]

Just a thought, I was unable to find the comment about the virgin.

could it be a women new to swinging. I called myself a swinging virgin.

simply meaning that I have never swung before. Could that be what was ment by virgin. I remember being a virgin, albeit vaguely, but I still remember. I couldn't imagine swinging being my first sexual experience. But if it is yours, more power to you, I am becoming more and more excited about my first time.

If I am wrong about the virgin thing, oh well , I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again.

Your friend,

Prettylady

[Tantra 48]

The obsession that this planet has with "virginity" and "purity" is just another sickness that needs curing. By this I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular - just society in general for engendering this unhealthy expectation.

 

I am a man who has never had a penis "penetrate" my mouth - does that mean I'm an "oral virgin" of desirable "purity"? I guess I'm also an anal virgin, and a handjob virgin, and a footjob virgin. I've never had a woman hump my shin - I'm a shin virgin. Heck, I'm oozing purity out of my pores. This is ridiculous.

 

Now I'm all for people learning about sex and getting emotionally prepared for sex, etc, etc. But this whole virgin thing is silly - "I want to learn how to shift gears, and use the accelerator, and turn signals, but don't actually want to sit in the driver's seat or touch the steering wheel." Yikes! I know it's not the virgin's fault (and by virgin, I'm not implying specifically the starter of this thread). It is the fault of society and the religions that people cling to.

 

Genital mutilations happen all over the world because of people's hangups about sex and purity - cut off the clitoris so that girls won't desire sex as much and remain "pure" - I'm sorry, but this disgusts me. Actually I'm not sorry at all.

 

Anyway, enough ranting. I need to go masturbate to someone I've never masturbate to before .. hmm.. let's see. Ashlee Simpson (post nosejob). Yeah, there goes my Ashlee Simpson fantasy virginity. I feel so impure!

[TwoLittleBirds 23]

Sugar,

In addition to looking for sexual exploration, could there be something else you are seeking, too?

 

You've mentioned community and family a couple of times. Explore your sexuality. Great. But that may not be the only place in your life something is missing. You may need to do some introspection. Is there something missing? Friends, God or spirituality, social interaction, some sense of fulfillment or reward? How about that LTR you've mentioned? Are you very picky? A little afraid? Been hurt?

 

Oops. Lots of questions! Sorry. And you don't have to supply answers on the board; but some of them may at least be worth thinking about as you search for what will make you truly happy.

 

The boy part of Two Little Birds 2LB (where the girl half helped me realize my potential and find my true heart)

[sapphire68 15]

I would think one would want to be seriously experienced to enter in to the swinging lifestyle, but that's JMHO. I'm new to this although my husband allowed me to go out with other men before we were married. I have a lot more experience now after 24 yrs of sexual encounters.

[Bad Sandy 15]

wow, I know I'm new to the board but red flags are jumping out everywhere here! This seems a bit like the Clinton thing... "it depends on what the definition of 'is' is..."

 

Why do you want to remain a virgin? As mentioned by others I don't think a future husband will be impressed with vaginal purity if every other sexual aspect has been explored. If it's for religious reasons... ditto. If you're just frightened because you've gone this long without intercouse, I sympathize but think what you're doing is much scarier than just having sex. When all is said and done, I agree with the fetish theory. Good luck!