Ever been caught by kids during a swingers party???

[Fabiana-Bi-FL 15]

Hi guys i know the topic "swinging with kids at home" have been approached before but i don't think this question has ever come up,have anyone ever been caught by their kids or the hosting couple's kids during a swingers party that was thrown at home while the kids were supposely sleeping????

It has happenned to me once but it wasn't a party it was just me and this couple at their apartment and we were caught in the living room by their 5 year old daughter that supposely was a hard sleeper,lol...Ok hope to hear your thoughts on it and experiences,thanks...

[Spoomonkey 421]

The chance of this happening is the reason we would never play at someone's house if they had kids there.

 

We were in a situation early in our experiences where the kids were asleep upstairs and the couple led us into some light play. Afterwards, we felt so awkward about it that we knew we couldn't do that again.

 

My advice - send the kids to the sitters or AT LEAST take your play behind locked doors. Swinging is great, but when you potentially warp a kid's mind with it, you've turned it into a rather ugly thing.

 

Common sense is a great guide.

 

Spoomonkey

[Mari and Mike 15]

This would really kill it for us... What are babysitters for anyway?

[ready2play 24]

We are very excited by a couple, in the lifestyle who have children. We met at local bars and a couple of times were invited back to there home for a hot tub. As much as I love their company in a vanilla way, I do enjoy playing with them. Recently, we all had family parties on a sat. night and all day we all agreed to meet late after the parties at their house. The talk was HOT all day so play was on all of our minds. We left our party and called, they said they had their young one home.. We were already in that position where play had happened in the hot tub with kids home. Sadly, this made us uncomfortable to be in that position with them again. We told them this on the phone and again they said the kids stay in their room. I really like the couple and fear they won't talk to us again after not going when we found out about the kids home. I am sure that we would have went if we had spent the evening with them, and just NOT played when we went to their house. Easier said then done! Any ideas out there to help our situation?

[Vespertine 31]

The chance of this happening is the reason we would never play at someone's house if they had kids there.

Big Dito here.

[invernesscpl 15]

We would never play when kids are in the house. It's just not smart under any circumstance.

[Chicup 42]

 

We were in a situation early in our experiences where the kids were asleep upstairs and the couple led us into some light play. Afterwards, we felt so awkward about it that we knew we couldn't do that again.

 

This happened to us too, and while we are ok with VERY young children in the house, their 12 and 10 year old who were awake when we got there and sent to bed REALLY made us uncomfortable. They said they never leave their rooms at night, blah blah blah, but as time goes on the more I think about it, the more it freaks me out.

[SoulmatesNky 15]

Well, I guess I will go against the concensus here.

 

We have played at our house with our kids there. Although we take the precautions to make sure that it is well past the kid's bedtime and we are behind locked doors.

 

For us, we have always used a locked door for privacy during intimacy (nothing can ruin a mood then when a child walks in ) and our kids are aware that if our door is locked we are not to be disturbed. We have made it plain to them that there are times that we need to be alone. Although the oldest knows we are probably just "in there kissing." We believe it is healthy for a child to realize that we as parents are intimate and have a loving relationship.

 

Now, we expressly advertise to other couples that we CAN NOT entertain at our house. But if we really trust a couple then we might invite them over for dinner and 'cards' into the late night. We also have a very large two story victorian home with the upstair separated from downstairs by a door. We have 3 bedrooms upstairs and one guest bedroom downstairs with an outside entrance. So our house and the young age of our children is conducive to these activities.

 

We play with our current couple at our house and just recently quit because the other couple was becoming uncomfortable with the idea. We are very disappointed but understand. This will naturally limit our play time with this wonderful couple because we just don't have the financial means to share hotel room costs, club expense, and all-night babysitting costs very often, so naturally, we will not be able to play with them very often here on out. As a matter of fact, we have had about 5 vanilla outings with them in the last three months and only had one night that would have worked for play but for my wife's monthly. :rollseyes

 

A party? We would never throw a swing party.... eee-gads.... with our children home and really would never throw a party at our home in the first place. There is just too many ways to effect the kids doing that (and not just on the party night... but on the general reputation of our household). Our children deserve to be proud of their parents.... not to have to defend them. We also would not engage in playing with another couple at THEIR home with their kids home UNLESS we have respect for them as parents and feel that adequate precautions will be taken.

 

Now all that being said.... very soon our oldest child will just get too old for us to be swinging there at all.

 

There are times I feel we have gotten into swinging too early,

we should have waited ten years Surrender

[Floorman56 16]

Our biggest worry about the kids is that they are adults now and I can't send them to bed. We host parties for our club at our house and we always worry that one of the kids my want to show up for a surprise visit. ( yea there will be LOTS of surprises)

[bill&sabrina 22]

Being caught by either our kids or our playmates kids would kill the mood, for sure. It isn't however a risk we wouldn't take. I am not suggesting being blatant, but we would play with kids in the house. I don't look at being caught as something that would warp a childs mind, unless the parent let it warp their mind. I always find humor in people worrying that swinging can be devastating to children, but they still swing. Just amazing that people participate in something as horrible as swinging obviously is. Add my name to the list of people that just don't care.

Bill

[Chicup 42]

When I was 12 or so, and was starting puberty, I was pretty confused about sex.

 

I was told 'how' but beyond that I didn't understand and had some pretty fragile feelings with it. I remember watching Real People and they had some guy on who was a nude model for art class and I had to stop watching because the thought of a guy taking of his clothes to SHOW women just seemed WRONG.

 

Obviously I had some issues.

 

Now just imagine if, at this age, I was curious as to what was going on with my parents and their old friends Tom and Ann, and peeked in only to see my mother getting nailed by Tom while Ann sat on her face. I think 'scared for life' comes to mind. (no this didn't happen)

 

I wouldn't do it to my kid and I sure wouldn't want to do it to someone elses either.

 

Your kids come before your play time.

[Alura 2,775]

Chicup wrote:

 

Your kids come before your play time.

 

There's no disagreement with that, Chicup, but I kinda think parents set the groundwork for kids' understanding of things sexual. It can either be done poorly (like our parents did) or it can be done well, as we all hope we are doing.

 

We played with the kids in the house when they were much younger, but only when we were able to make sure we had plenty of warning should they get out of bed. They never did, by the way.

 

Today, we feel we've talked to our kids so much about sex, drugs, rock 'n roll and country, that we'd have no trouble explaining our reasons for our actions to them if the subject comes up. We get more and more assured that will happen. Probably soon. They know we post on this site and have met some Board Members, but have never asked us to explain just what "swingers" are. When they ask, we'll tell them the truth, as always.

 

Still, being interrupted in the act is not an embarassment we'd care to deal with, so we haven't played in the house for a long time.

 

Alura

[Jamie&Kieth 36]

I guess we're against the norm here but do not make a big deal out of it.

 

Yes we got caught in the act by our oldest daughter, our son took to "spying" on us one afternoon and our next to youngest daughter actually came out & asked us. Although we were surprised by the situation we also take the time along with patience, to explain (our opinion) on the differences between love and sex along with our reasons for swinging to our children.

 

We may be in the minority, but if we try to hide and be deceitful about our lifestyle then it seems we are teaching kids that swinging is wrong. Of course when we explain & discuss our lifestyle to our kids, we incorporate a trust & responsibility they must understand.

 

Our situation may be different from others in that we have sex only with friends/couples that are regular friends with & enjoy being with them. We do not go to "swing clubs" or hotels but usually arrange get togethers when we know the "children" are out

 

Kieth & I have always been upfront & honest with our children and go with the theory that if they are old enough to ask then they deserve the correct answer. Another thing to remember is kids always know more than you think they know. With the internet, the news and TV, swinging appears to be almost harmless.

[Jessie B 16]

Use vaseline when swinging. Smear it on the doorknob and the kids can't open the door.

[twoplayful2 16]

If our kids were still infants we'd have no problem with it. If they were just a couple years younger, depending on the exact circumstance, we might do it once we knew they were in bed and asleep, and then we'd make sure our door was locked. Our oldest just turned 12 and even suspecting that us and another couple were in our bedroom with the door locked would start her thinking about things I'm sure we don't want her thinking about so there is no way we'd do it at home now. Once our kids are adults, if they accidentally found out then we'd (uncomfortably) explain things to them about our views on sex, etc. Before that, we're just not going to take the risk that them knowing some of the things we do might steer them down the wrong path somehow.

[dawn_and_jim 15]

Add us to the "never happened, never will" camp, for various reasons already stated. And not because swinging is evil or something; there are many things we just wouldn't want our daughter (or any child) to walk in on.

[pjohn 15]

 

 

Before being open to our kids re: the lifestyle, we should realize one thing...they are kids and their life is just begining...they need to first understand life...love...and safe sex first...

 

 

We didn't get into this lifestyle...without understanding love..friendships etc...we did all those and looked for more changes...so we are careful and wiser...

 

but...being open to the kids before..they could understand the life itself...probably too much for them....

 

My opinion is it's always safe to not to perform or precautions are taken before...

[BiloxiCouple 695]

On another note our kids "know" that we are swingers. They have never asked for details but have made a couple of comments over the years.

 

We have entertained at our house, which is very large. We do tell anyone coming over the situation with the teenagers and they get to make up their own mind. We have never had a problem. If we did get "caught" we would just explain it to them like we have explained other questions to them. Honestly and with good information.

 

If we and when we have a house party we would tell the kids we are having an adult party and that they have to spend the night somewhere else.

 

And our family does come first before anything.

[Rascal 17]

Hmmmm, I'm not sure how I would explain it to any age child, whether the child was 4 or 40. I can remember back to when I was about 10 yrs old and knowing that my parents were ... uh, .... in their bedroom.... and doing things? lol I can imagine "if" my parents had tried to explain that, which is considered normal for adults.... I can imagine sniggering and thinking that it was funny ... and in my immature state would have no problem telling my fellow kids on the block and sniggering about it non-stop.

Now advance that a few years to where I have a better understanding? of sex and morals? and public acceptance? and stuff like that but haven't experienced enough of life to know "how" to accept it, or what to do with it once I've learned about it? Can I keep a secret? do I know why I'm keeping a secret? can I resist telling my friends and sniggering? lol

My impression of why we tell childrent that intercourse is wrong until you get married is that we want them to be old enough.... and mature enough to be able to deal with some of the strong emotions that can spring up. When they get old enough to judge and deal with things on their own... then I can see getting married, or having sex, or even becoming swingers..... then I might admit or tell them that I'm a swinger.... I doubt that being truthful and honest and forthright will get you anything but sniggers behind your back and kids that might be "ashamed of you" My sex life is none of their business and I plan on keeping it that way!

[J & K 16]

The person who started this thread contacted us by Yahoo IM and the chat was very interesting.

 

The majority of the chat from this person was about kids and having sex in front of children. This person claimed how much of a turn on it was to get caught by kids when swinging. This person wanted to trade pics. When I sent pics of me and the mrs all this person wanted was family pics with our kids. The person keep insisting on pics of our kids more than me and the mrs. I wasn't going to send any. In the back of my mind I felt I was chatting with a pediphile or child molester. After telling this person I wasn't going to send more pics with kids she/he got bored chatting. I asked for pics and got 2 pics of a girl, but they claimed they had tame pics. I said send anyways...she/he cut the chat off fast. So this person could be a pediphile, molester, or cop.

 

BEWARE if contacted!!!

[Fabiana-Bi-FL 15]

The person who started this thread contacted us by Yahoo IM and the chat was very interesting.

 

The majority of the chat from this person was about kids and having sex in front of children. This person claimed how much of a turn on it was to get caught by kids when swinging. This person wanted to trade pics. When I sent pics of me and the mrs all this person wanted was family pics with our kids. The person keep insisting on pics of our kids more than me and the mrs. I wasn't going to send any. In the back of my mind I felt I was chatting with a pediphile or child molester. After telling this person I wasn't going to send more pics with kids she/he got bored chatting. I asked for pics and got 2 pics of a girl, but they claimed they had tame pics. I said send anyways...she/he cut the chat off fast. So this person could be a pediphile, molester, or cop.

 

BEWARE if contacted!!!

 

Well,this insulting message shows how much of a loser you're, first of all i don't even remember having any conversation with you at all,ok,second of all if i did have i probably turned you down since you're so frightning looking and desperate to get any girl that would be brave enough to have a one night stand with your ugly ass and your poor wife,get a life you miserable hillbilly and the next time you get that angry after being turned down by any girl don't be so childish spreading rumors that are absurd,just go in front of any mirror that you have in your little house and say this looking direct to your horrifying image:"I'm a big fat loser that's why so many women turn me down every single day",cyber freak.

[Alura 2,775]

Let's cool it, folks.

 

This sort of exchange is not welcome on the SwingersBoard. Those of us who hang out regularly here have worked hard for the past several years to make this website the friendliest on the internet.

 

Insults are not acceptable. If you want to be nasty, do it in a Private Message.

 

Mr. Alura

[Vespertine 31]

The person who started this thread (*Fabiana-Bi-FL* ) contacted us by Yahoo IM and the chat was very interesting.

 

BEWARE if contacted!!!

Thanks for the heads up, J & K. I appreciate it.

[Alura 2,775]

We have a vice-squad cop here in Tulsa who has gained quite a reputation, been in the newspaper and on the evening news, because he operates in teen chat rooms pretending to be a fourteen-year-old girl. He has successfully enticed at least two men to fly here to have sex with the fictional teenager. Both have been convicted of crossing state lines with the intention of having sex with a minor. It doesn't matter that the minor didn't exist. There was no indication in either case that either man would ever have committed a crime without the enticement. Both had no police record of any kind.

 

Although I have no respect for child molesters, I also am very opposed to entrapment, no matter how subtly done. Entrapment should be a crime, punishable with prison time, in my opinion.

 

Mr. Alura

[Gayle 15]

I guess we aren't really on this anymore, but here's my thoughts... I have 2 children who are pretty young, but aging a bit quicker than I would like. Up to now, I have NEVER been caught or even had a close call when being intimate with my husband. It has simply never happened. Some of that is because my kids go to bed and don't come out all night, the rest (and vast majority) of the reason is that I understand the concept of a locked door. I had a friend once who's son caught her and her husband all the time because they tended to have sex in the living room. I have, of course, had sex in my living room before without being caught, but it would only take getting caught once before I confined sex to the bedroom. It seems to me that if I've managed to keep my sex life away from my children before, there is no reason why adding in a playmate means that the kids will find out.

 

As far as what the awareness of having swinging parents might do to kids... well, I've always been of the mindset that your kids being too aware of anything you do in that area is both good and bad for them. Bad, because... well, just think about how much you'd like to know about your parents sex life. There is a general yuck factor there. On the other hand, it is good because it leaves room for open and honest communication between parent and child. Sex is a natural thing. The more comfortable you are with that and the more open you are about it (without the gory details of course) the more comfortable your kids will be talking to you about it. When my kids become teenagers I would rather that they understand that I understand the appeal of sex and will not crucify them for being interested.

 

I'm of the opinion that people who swing with kids in the house, should use the lock on their door... just like they would if they were having sex with their spouse and their kids were home. There is no need to do it on the kitchen table, people!

 

My husband and I already discussed and decided that we wouldn't entertain in our home because of the kids. However, that decision was based entirely on not wanting people who we might be sleeping with, but are not otherwise close to, being around our kids. It's the same thought process that leads me to the habit of sending my kids to their bedrooms when the doorbell rings. It is for their safety. Which basically means that if we had playmates we felt we could trust in a vanilla way, we might be willing to entertain at home... just not in the public areas of the house.

 

Ultimately, I am not doing anything I'm ashamed of... which means that I don't have to be secretive, just careful. I intend to be just as careful that my kids don't catch me with a playmate as I am that they don't catch me with their father.

[luvscum 17]

Answer to question ,many times. When boys were younger one of them came tobedroom because Iwas moaning somuch tothe pleasure I was getting from two of husbands friends. They thought I was being hurt I guess. I told them mommie is fine go back to bed,LOL. Once I was out by the pool with twomen and our oldest stopped by unannounced. I was in back yard with two men I was sucking one and getting fucked by the other.He left and brought it up later.One other time Bob had a few male friends over and one of our boys came by to borrow some $$.we had 3guys in bed room at the time.