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Swinger Advice on Good Old-Fashioned Cheating

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My wife and I have pretty much concluded that the lifestyle is not going to work out for us. My wife just likes to watch ... which pretty much makes me (for lifestyle purposes) ... a married single guy. It just isn't going to work.

 

So I'm going to go about the lifestyle the good old fashioned way: I'm heading out onto the single scene ... or seeking out an extamarital affair.

 

You have all given me such good advice in the past. So indulge me this one last favor:

 

Assuming I want to strike up a no-strings sexual relationship with an attractive young woman (married, single or otherwise) ... how would you recommend I go about it?

 

What type of woman might be interested in such a relationship?

 

A little about me: I am in my early thirties, fit, highly-attractive, accomplished, PhD. education, very sensual & romantic. I control my schedule but I don't come into much day-to-day contact with people at work. The only woman I've been intimate with is my wife (of 10+ years). My wife and I are happily married and ... she reluctantly understands why I need to do this. I've never been intimate with someone my own age (think: Aston/Demi). My wife has been married before and has dated.

 

From what I can tell: most single women are only seem interested a guy if they think it might lead to a long-term relationships ... and married women, I haven't quite figured out yet. Just casual observations (and I can be wrong). Should I pursue married women ... or single women? College students ... or working women? Should I tell women the truth about my marital status and intentions ... or indulge myself a little white lie here and there to achieve my ends? Nightclubs ... or coffee shops?

 

Any advice? I'm very curious on what those in the lifestyle might suggest.

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You should be 100% up front and honest with whomever you meet about your circumstances.

 

I don't understand your need to do this if your wife is "reluctant". Sounds pretty damned selfish to me.

 

It's not her fault that you didn't sow your oats before you married her. It's also not her fault that you haven't been with a woman who's closer to your age. I really hope, for her sake, that you didn't verbalize the age excuse to her.

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""My wife and I have pretty much concluded that the lifestyle is not going to work out for us. My wife just likes to watch ... which pretty much makes me (for lifestyle purposes) ... a married single guy. It just isn't going to work""

 

 

 

 

 

I dont understand your problem.If your wife is happy to watch....let her.If she likes it ,indulge her.What do you want?

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So I'm going to go about the lifestyle the good old fashioned way: I'm heading out onto the single scene ... or seeking out an extamarital affair.

 

You have all given me such good advice in the past. So indulge me this one last favor:

 

Assuming I want to strike up a no-strings sexual relationship with an attractive young woman (married, single or otherwise) ... how would you recommend I go about it?

 

 

I wouldn't recommend it. If you are doing this with your wife's enthusiastic blessing, that's a different matter. But the fact is, you yourself have called it an affair (so that's what it is in your own mind), and you've also stated that your wife agreed to your demands only reluctantly.

 

Swingers, as a general rule, value marriages. We don't cheat and we do our utmost to think of our partner's needs before our own. So you can see why we'd be reluctant to help you to hurt your marriage.

 

Please consider talking this through more thoroughly with your wife; if you seek ways of satisfying your unmet sexual desires outside of your marriage without first satisfying your wife's need to know that she comes first in your life, you will damage your marriage. It's as simple as that.

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I wouldn't recommend it. If you are doing this with your wife's enthusiastic blessing, that's a different matter. But the fact is, you yourself have called it an affair (so that's what it is in your own mind), and you've also stated that your wife agreed to your demands only reluctantly.

 

Swingers, as a general rule, value marriages. We don't cheat and we do our utmost to think of our partner's needs before our own. So you can see why we'd be reluctant to help you to hurt your marriage.

 

Please consider talking this through more thoroughly with your wife; if you seek ways of satisfying your unmet sexual desires outside of your marriage without first satisfying your wife's need to know that she comes first in your life, you will damage your marriage. It's as simple as that.

 

My wife and I have discussed it. I'm an open book. By "affair" I meant without the other woman's husband knowing.

 

I'm geting the impression that I'm not going to get much in the way of advice on this subject -- too many philosphical hang-ups. Thanks for the concern and comments, nonetheless.

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I dont understand your problem.If your wife is happy to watch....let her.If she likes it ,indulge her.What do you want?

 

That would be ideal ... if I believed that what you are describing is a realistic expectation ... but from what I can gather so far from replies to various posts, it is not. Maybe you are right ... at this point, all I can say is that I am confused, frustrated and pondering my options. I'm not quite sure what to do.

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I'm getting the impression that I'm not going to get much in the way of advice on this subject -- too many philosophical hang-ups.

 

Well no...

 

You probably aren't...

 

The surprising reason is that swingers actually have a very high respect for marriage. Sure - we play outside the boundaries, but this isn't because we condone cheating.

 

It also isn't because we can relate to marital dissatisfaction. We do what we do in swinging as an overflow of our highly charged marriage - our incredible sex at home is expressed in part by our intra-marital adventures. Swinging isn't because I need sex with a woman my age - Mrs Spoo is significantly older than me - nor does she allow this "reluctantly". This is something that we both enjoy together - more like partners in crime than disjointed co-dependants.

 

We are hard on cheating here. I will admit, that harshness boarders on heartlessness. I recognize this. Many here are completely out of touch with "common marriage". We are naive to the problems that most people just accept into their unions. And we can become quite elitist - looking on cheaters as being almost sub-human.

 

This is not because we feel threatened or vulnerable - but rather because we have something incredible that if we could bottle up and sell at Dillard's we could make a fortune.

 

What you are talking about is slumming around with bored housewives... Folks here can't relate to that... And good for us!

 

I'd rather be blissfully ignorant in my marriage than be intimately acquainted with the type of marriages where cheating could occur.

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Uomo, I don't see where someone disagreeing with your choice of action equals a philosophical hang-up. Maybe that's just me though. I for one don't care one way or the other, and will happily offer my input.

 

I have some thoughts about your request, though, that I suspect you won't like either.

 

Assuming I want to strike up a no-strings sexual relationship with an attractive young woman (married, single or otherwise) ...

 

You mean, you and 99% of all men on the planet? I mean, seriously, a man looking to get laid by a hot girl with no strings attached? If you don't find what you are looking for here, there are one million other forums where men of all ages, lifestyles and experience levels are sitting around talking about this very thing.

 

Further, I think if there were one easy answer, we'd be short about 2/3 of the sitcoms, movies and pop songs out there. Drama-free casual sex is just not as easy to come by as you seem to think.

 

What type of woman might be interested in such a relationship?

Should I pursue married women ... or single women? College students ... or working women? Should I tell women the truth about my marital status and intentions ... or indulge myself a little white lie here and there to achieve my ends? Nightclubs ... or coffee shops?

 

What type of woman? A woman who is interested in drama-free, casual sex. It's not about an education level, age range, marital status or beverage preference. How a woman (or a man, for that matter) is wired to want sex is unique as a fingerprint. There isn't a secret code to unlock to find the location of the easy girls who won't bug you for a relationship... and if there was, see above, re millions of other men looking for the same secret code. (so if you find it, sell it and start taking money baths)

 

You seem to be operating under a lot of generalities and misconceptions. I think that before you decide to go out and have this affair, you should learn more about how people think about sex and love.

 

And, here's my final tough-love offering:

 

Before I got married, I was your dream girl: single, selective, and interested in no-strings sex with the right type of guy. (and for what it's worth, I still preferred long-term relationships within that parameter, because one-night stands and one-offs don't allow for any sort of connection to build, even if there's not a traditional dating relationship in the picture.) I had figured out that sex and love could be separate, and that "friends with special privileges" made a perfect resource to take care of my physical needs on one side, while allowing me to still make good emotional choices as I navigated the crazy world of dating.

 

And I wouldn't have touched you with a ten-foot-pole. Ph.D., "highly-attractive" or not. Know why? Because I had the choice of not dealing with the potential drama that you had to offer, as a cheater. When I had the option of the aforementioned million single guys to choose from, I just didn't have to bother with married men -- with whom I had to be the Other Woman, or the potential cause of a divorce, or risk crazy phone calls from a furious wife, etc.

 

In other words, you are looking for a girl who wants no strings -- but you yourself bring the biggest, most complicated, most drama-filled string to the table. You should think honestly about what you have to offer that supercedes that complication.

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Assuming I want to strike up a no-strings sexual relationship with an attractive young woman (married, single or otherwise) ... how would you recommend I go about it? What type of woman might be interested in such a relationship?
It doesn't matter. You're married, and since all you really have to offer is occasional, "off-peak" (no holidays, no weekends, no all-nighters) sex, you're going to have to be happy with whoever you can find.

 

(If, on the other hand, you're offering a BMW, a free boob-job, or a Nordstroms credit card with no limit, you can probably score a younger and/or better looking woman. I know 60-year-old guys who are keeping 30-something women in riverfront condos...How much is that worth to you?)

From what I can tell: most single women are only seem interested a guy if they think it might lead to a long-term relationships...
So? That don't make 'em bad. Guys are only interested in "relationships" if they think it will lead to sex. That don't make us bad, either. What's your point?
...and married women, I haven't quite figured out yet.
That's unfortunate, because I have the feeling that what you don't know about them is going to co$t you plenty in the very near future. Here's my take on it...

 

As a rule, married women do NOT want their husbands out fucking other women. (It tends to "take the bloom off" the marriage or something) When a woman tells her husband that "it's OK for him to have an affair," they don't mean it. They know the marriage is over, and they're just buying time to get their financial affairs in order.

 

Your divorce attorney will explain it all to you in greater detail when you and he are trying to find out what the hell happened to all the marital assets you thought you had.

Should I pursue married women ... or single women?
Married women. For one thing, it "keeps it all in the family." Somebody else's unhappy wife becomes your plaything, while your own unhappy wife (who, after all, has a husband who's cheating on her) is free to take on a similar role for some other miserable son-of-a-bitch who's just looking for some afternoon fun. It's kind of like swinging, but without the name tags and door fees and having to find babysitters who can watch the kids overnight.

 

The other reason is that having an affair with a single woman violates the first rule of marital infidelity, namely, "NEVER fuck anybody who has less to lose than you do if caught." A single woman who doesn't think she's getting the attention she deserves from her married lover can cause you problems you don't even want to think about...especially if her name is Monica...

Should I tell women the truth about my marital status and intentions ... or indulge myself a little white lie here and there to achieve my ends?
Be truthful with them. It's going to be hard enugh keeping up with all the lies you'll have to tell to pull this thing off, starting with the ones you're going to be telling your wife. Besides, women who find out their lovers are married have a nasty habit of calling wives and divulging times, dates, and details that divorce attorneys find very useful in court.
Nightclubs ... or coffee shops?
Neither. The internet is the new clearing house for unhappily married people. Nightclubs are for alcoholics and men too ugly to get laid except by drunk women. Coffee shops are for insomniacs and women who have no better place to be. Get yourself an account on AFF or Match.com, be honest about what you're looking for and why, and wait for the responses to roll in. You might even get your wife to help you write the ad, so it looks appealing "from a woman's perspective."

 

Hell, she's probably got one over there already...

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the first rule of marital infidelity, namely, "NEVER fuck anybody who has less to lose than you do if caught."

 

:rofl: I have to jot down that one!

 

Uomo, my man. Still around? At least you have a better attitude and a more straight question this time.

 

I'd agree with JnCC, but shhhhhhhh... I cannot speak out loud, it's politically wrong in here, the "philosophical hang-up" you mention, and that you experienced in the previous thread you started, am I wrong?

 

Asking people who spend a lot of time on setting high standards for themselves to enjoy their sexuality with others WITHOUT cheating on their partners the best ways to cheat on your partner shows (again) how selfish you are, and the lack of appreciation you have for everyone else's values around you.

 

My wife and I have discussed it. I'm an open book.

 

Mr. Open Book, shoud I remind you I dare you to invite your wife to read your posts in this forum, and that your honest answer was "no way". Following JnCC's advice, you better don't or you'd risk to give her attorney more proofs to squeeze you under her 6" hells. I'd like to know about her "reluctant acceptance" if she ever read your posts.

 

You want to cheat on her and you already managed to get a reluctanct acceptance from her? Congratulations... do it, I am not against adultery, it's not my business, but don't ask us to cheer you.

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You want somd attention?

 

Get a sailboat. I got one twenty five years ago. We had an open marriage, and I found, to my surprise, that a nice sailboat just draws women. The only trouble with a sailboat is they need to be 30 feet plus, and that means $60,000 plus for purchase and then the montly fees for insurance, slips, etc. And you need to learn to sail. Both of us learned to sail, and enjoyed it. One nice thing about an elegant sailboat, is that you also have a place to "get it on" and a way to "go different places". By the way, even a large sailboat has space only for two couples on a weekend, and the largest would have space for maybe four. Sailboats are close quarters.

 

As far as "cheating" and "condemnation" on these sites, "Let em preach". People run their own psyches, and all are not the same.

 

When I was "growing up" I learned that Freud discovered people devoted more than 50% of their thoughts towards sex. So do not feel surprised.

 

My own training is similar to yours, and my relation to my wife is also similar.

We also came to the conclusion, over a several years, that the lifestyle did not work for us, but that "swapping" or a "close circle" did. I am sure there are exceptions, but "brainy intellectuals" are misplaced in the "lifestyle" as they are in much else in life.

 

Hope these comments are of use.

 

Otto

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As far as "cheating" and "condemnation" on these sites, "Let em preach". People run their own psyches, and all are not the same.

... I am sure there are exceptions, but "brainy intellectuals" are misplaced in the "lifestyle" as they are in much else in life.

 

Well, being a "brainy intellectual" type, perhaps my comments are unwelcome, but let me grab a pulpit anyway...

 

Ahem...soapbox

 

I think what it comes down to...is whether or not you give a shit about other people. If you don't and couldn't give a damn what happens to their marriage, then that's your choice.

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I will squirm my way onto Intuition's soapbox here, also being a "brainy intellectual" ......

 

Adultery is going to happen, there's no denying it. But there are many of us who do care about our fellow man/woman and will not in any way facilitate or enable it. In our eyes, it is simply wrong. We would not want it done to us (and in many cases, it has been done already), so therefore we hold these feelings close to our hearts and will not do anything knowingly to cause another person pain through deception.

 

To each his own, but I feel that I, and many others who feel the way I do, are on the right track as far as this subject is concerned. Why be married to someone if their feelings don't matter? Why be married to someone if you are going to deceive them and disrespect them in that manner?

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I'll wiggle my way onto Intuition's soapbox, right between her and txduo...

 

Not because I'm a "brainy intellectual" type, but mostly because it looked like a cozy place to be :D

 

Spoomonkey

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I'm just a common hardworking man. So maybe I'm missing the point here. But from what I read, it said that his wife knows what's going on. Even though she is reluctant!

I don't agree with most people here on the definition of swinging. Most only see it as couples dating couples. To me swinging is taking sex outside of a relationship, where all parties have full knowledge and are happily participating in some form. As long as it's a sharing thing, and not something "I" have to do, it’ all good. That said, if your wife was totally involved with the setting up and execution of said plan, you might classify that as swinging. But, from what you have written that's not the case. If your wife has "reluctantly " agreed to let you cheat, run around, have an extramarital affair, or whatever it is, and you have enough disregard for her "reluctant" feelings, go on my boy. That's your business. But I don't think your situation can fall into even my relaxed definition of swinging. And I don’t think it would be beneficial to either of you in any way, especially as a couple.

 

And this part pains me to say. Because I just love to go against the herd. After you are finished sowing the wild oats you didn't sow when you were young, you'll be kicking yourself because everyone here was right. You are inside the fishbowl looking out at your immediate needs. The people here see your situation from a different angle. They are only trying to help. You should take what everyone has said seriously, even if you choose not to follow the advice. The one thing that I would say is common with most successful people in the lifestyle, is that they hold their relationship as the most important thing. That's why most of these posts tend to go against what you want to do. They can see a troubled relationship, not a happy couple enjoying new experiences together. It would be interesting to here your wife’s side of the story. Like I said before, she should be involved at every turn if you want to somehow classify this as swinging.

 

Good Luck, Mr Ofrd

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I'll wiggle my way onto Intuition's soapbox, right between her and txduo...

 

Not because I'm a "brainy intellectual" type, but mostly because it looked like a cozy place to be :D

 

Spoomonkey

I'm squeezing myself on there too even though I'm not the brainy intellectual type. I just like the whole group thing. :D

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I'm squeezing myself on there too even though I'm not the brainy intellectual type. I just like the whole group thing. :D

 

 

Ves and Spoo ... I think you are both as brainy and intellectual as any other on here .... and welcome to the soapbox! We are glad to have you!!! :D

 

Exactly how big is this particular soapbox???? I want Thrax, Mr. and Mrs. Twofer, Mrs. Spoo, Mr. and Mrs. LM, curiousagain and whoever else can squirm up here, in addition to those already standing here, patiently waiting!!!! :hahaha:

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Exactly how big is this particular soapbox???? I want Thrax, Mr. and Mrs. Twofer, Mrs. Spoo, Mr. and Mrs. LM, curiousagain and whoever else can squirm up here!!!! :hahaha:

 

HEY!! that better be a female hand on my butt :D

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Mrs. Uomo Here!

 

For seven months I have been trying to allow Uomo to see that sex is not the issue here. I had been in swinging circles for a few years prior to our marriage. He didn't "get it" about exactly what the swinging scene was as is. He seems determined to have an "affair" with a young and beautiful woman.

 

Reading the answers that you all provided here makes me long for the good old days...... when the circles I associated with knew the meanings of the words "love" and "respect". I miss the fun I used to have as a swinger. I was "reluctant" only because of Uomo's aims, not because of the sex.

 

My best to all of you for your honesty and open ideals. Mrs. Uomo

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Thank you for your input Mrs. Uomo. It certainly does clarify things. Hope you two can work this out. Best of luck!

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The real issue is his total self absorbtion and megalomania. He didn't "get it" about exactly what the swinging scene was.

 

 

You definitely said a mouthful here, Mrs. Uomo. I think we all realized this about Mr. Uomo right off the bat ... that can be verified by reading the various responses to the threads he has started.

 

But, in his defense, I will say that it seems like being on this board, and getting his hand slapped a time or two has caused him to rethink his position.

 

Communication is always key. I hate to see a marriage end, unless due to abuse of some kind, and I sincerely hope that you two can come to a meeting of the minds.

 

I don't think he's a bad guy ... I just think he needs to get his ego in check.

 

And we definitely appreciate your perspective on the matter.

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But, in his defense, I will say that it seems like being on this board, and getting his hand slapped a time or two has caused him to rethink his position.

Hmmm. Methinks I disagree. He gave me the impression of being as a teen caught in the act one too many times. Rather than rant and rave as teens are want to do, he emitted false contrition to elicit a "ok I'll cut your some slack THIS time, just don't let it happen again" response. (sigh, yes, voice of MUCH experience there :( ) But see my other response to this below

 

Communication is always key. I hate to see a marriage end, unless due to abuse of some kind, and I sincerely hope that you two can come to a meeting of the minds.

absolutely agree 100% on both accounts.

 

I don't think he's a bad guy ... I just think he needs to get his ego in check.

 

And we definitely appreciate your perspective on the matter.

 

Without a doubt. In the face of obvious irritation from some of us, your hubby still held his head high, and seemed to WANT to do the right thing, just couldn't see around the ego bus.

 

as an aside, Mrs. Uomo, your husband felt pretty flamethrow by a few of us, myself included, and I responded in a rather disagreeable tone on a couple of issues, but in general I would hope that maybe somewhere in all of our responses to his various posts, we could be of some small help in getting him to realize his issues with you. Maybe, just maybe it will be enough to allow the communication between you two to reach a level where the dreaded divorce will not be on the table. No matter what goes on here or in our playtime, I think most would agree, the relationship with our significant other is paramount.

Take care Mrs Uomo, and Mr too.

Twofers

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Hello

Do you know of your wife true feeling inside or is she just going with the program.

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Mrs Uomo again:

 

I don't feel cheated on or rejected. I've been in swinger circles bofore where I have felt completely betrayed. Mr U NEVER lied to me about a thing and was completely honest with his feelings.

 

I would like to see this happen for both of us. I can't reign him in like he is a naughty child.....

 

However, as I have stated bofore, I am the one who originally stated that this could be an option.

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Mrs Uomo again:

 

I don't feel cheated on or rejected. I've been in swinger circles bofore where I have felt completely betrayed. Mr U NEVER lied to me about a thing and was completely honest with his feelings.

 

I would like to see this happen for both of us. I can't reign him in like he is a naughty child.....

 

However, as I have stated bofore, I am the one who originally stated that this could be an option.

 

So far, everithing seems to be ok, then... It calls my attention that Mr. Uomo said you were "reluctanct", when you say you were the one bringing up this option. It seems you still have a lot to talk and get to know from each other.

 

To be honest, I even doubt there are two different people answering trough the same user account, and this is because you, Mrs. Uomo, are not being "consistent" with the way Mr. Uomo described you in the two threads he started with the purpose of getting advice on the fastest way to score with another woman. Moreover, your comments are helping cleaning the path from our reluctancy to give him such an advice because we dislike the idea of helping someone hurt his marriage by means of our previously aquired experience as swingers.

 

Our experiencie as swingers involves certain degree of proficiency on "social engineering" (so to speak) that allow us to "score" with other people, but also it's tightly bonded with a commitment with our respective parners in such a way that we use this proficiency only under that commitment terms.

 

Such a "social engineering" have a lot to do with giving up some of our selfish interests, for example when we summit these interests to our partners ones, or when we take care of the needs and limits the other people involved may have, so I feel ok to share our experience and exchange advice among people who valuate the entire combo.

 

Personally, at this point, I dislike the idea of me (or anyone else) teaching social engineering techniques to someone who disregarded the context where we grant ourselves permission to use such a proficiency, becuase that conxtext have the same or even more importance than scoring.

 

This is like throwing away the burger to enjoy only the fryes (as happend with Mrs. Uomo first thread), or ask just for the fryes (as happens now), when over and over we're saying to Mr. Uomo that we care and threasure the entire combo.

 

Let's look at Mr. Uomo thread name: "Swinger Advice on Good Old-Fashioned Cheating". Its disrespectfull once known that, for swingers, "Old-Fashioned Cheating" isn't "Good" at all. So, I feel that now you, Mrs. Uomo, are trying to convince us that it is "good" for you, and I don't even have a female voice there to help me buy this, just the same typeface and user account that Uomo was using... mmmmmmm. How convenient.

 

Sorry, I wouldn't sell those fryes.

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Dude, just get your divorce already. This is silly.

 

i agree. man you have a lot nerve to come over here with this "master plan of yours" SHAME ON YOU! your wife at least gave it a try, you know how many wouldnt? why cant you find a solution that involves pleasure for you both?... the fact that you now see "cheating on her" as your only way to get your cake and eat it too shows what kind of man you are, i hope she leaves you.

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i agree. man you have a lot nerve to come over here with this "master plan of yours" SHAME ON YOU! your wife at least gave it a try, you know how many wouldnt? why cant you find a solution that involves pleasure for you both?... the fact that you now see "cheating on her" as your only way to get your cake and eat it too shows what kind of man you are, i hope she leaves you.
succinct. i love it. !

 

 

Sorry for responding to old posts. But Mr.Umo & actually the Mrs. too since she was going to "know" ....forgot about the innocents that the Mr. wondered maybe he should lie too.

 

you wondered what the hot single women would think? I've seen posts by you since and think maybe you worked your issues out. maybe not, but just so you know what the hot single women think of being lied to, here's my take:

 

 

 

SHOT THE GODDAMNED MOTHER FUC___ER.

 

:)

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Yes GURL!

But without the violence, heres the take of an attractive , hot , sexually charged single woman about 10 years ago....

met an amazing man- did a little swinging, both fell very very hard. A few months later she finally pries it out of him that he is married. "I wasn't 'expecting ' you", he said to her.

SHe spends the better part of 3 years picking up her pieces, alone, and him? He still pursues her, to this very day.

 

Did you mention NO STRINGS? You never ever know what's going to happen, and you just have no control over who you love.

Oh, and , according to him, his wife new- very similar situation to yours.

So if you must, then you must be honest to all parties concerned. The ass you burn may be your own.....

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Sweety, that's the oldest line in the book from a married man...

 

believe that crap and they'll use you forever. I bartended for a while, my manager feel for this over and over.

 

ew.

 

So she was tied up with these guys who were never going to do anything but use her and she never put time into finding a real person who would care for her. That's what she said she wanted. But this went on for years, and she always went for that same line. When married guys asked me out, I just couldn't figure it out. I mean for what? I'd just look at them like they were stupid. Which of course, is the truth.

 

you can help who you "fall in love with". We can't help who we feel an atrraction to but we can and do make choices about how we live our lives.

 

I dislike lies from single or marrieds. Thankfully its not hard to figure out their married when you meet someone new.

 

When guys play with women's emotions, it isn't just the potential for the wife finding out, but really nasty things happen sometimes, read the news. Rent "Fatal Attraction" The women just got lied to one too many times!

 

stand by my response, Shoot him!

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This thread is ancient (I've made 100+ posts since I started this thread). Let it die, already. People change ... I've changed. My wife and I are getting together with another couple next week ... we are SWINGING. No one is going to shoot me (unless I leave my socks and underwear on the floor next to the bed).

 

So give Uomo a break ... I'm really a nice little llama once you get to know me.

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Sweet, sweet llama, sorry for tough response and its happy news you both got it together now.

 

I had read your profile and saw you were a :eek: a lawyer

 

and got confused with the topic which was: lying.

 

 

that's when I wanted to shoot you :D

 

I'm gonna have to pay closer attn to detail :o

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This thread is ancient (I've made 100+ posts since I started this thread). Let it die, already. People change ... I've changed. My wife and I are getting together with another couple next week ... we are SWINGING. No one is going to shoot me (unless I leave my socks and underwear on the floor next to the bed).

 

So give Uomo a break ... I'm really a nice little llama once you get to know me.

 

Uomo, being one of the most renteless fighters against your ideas in your first posts (counting this one as one of these, and even when here I disbelief your wyfe were posting), and after reading the posts you've making since then, I have to admit I gave you credit for that change of viewpoint, and I am glad to know you and Mrs. Uomo worked out to do something... mmmm... fair (I don't want to say better).

 

I'd like to know about your experience.

 

About letting die an ancient thread, well, it's one of the good things the forums have: what's ancient for the ones involved in the original discussion may be new for someone who didn't and feels he/she have something to add or a question to make... something that may be usefull for newcomers afterwards, and even for the ones who let the thread die. This is just the way forums gather everyones experiences and wisdom.

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It's funny because it's new to me.

 

It did sound like Mr. and Mrs. Uomo had communication going in full effect. I think that a woman who JUST wants to watch her husband and not have any participation other than that is likely to be relatively uncommon, which I think is where his frustration lied.

 

It's good to see that the Mr. and Mrs. are doing their thing together! :)

 

It's interesting that you'd pick a Llama as an avatar. They're wonderful creatures... Fiercly loyal and very protective...

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It's interesting that you'd pick a Llama as an avatar. They're wonderful creatures... Fiercly loyal and very protective...

 

You are right about llamas ... excellent sheepdogs.

 

My original Avatar (Bill Clinton) was deleted (for political content). So with Bill out of the running ... a llama seemed like the obvious second choice. I mean ... who wouldn't swing with a llama (if given the chance)? Female llamas deep throat like nobody's business.

 

Don't knock an M-F-L until you've tried it.

 

Truth be told ... I had a more sinister intent: "The Llama Song." Click on the link below, listen to it once or twice ... you will be singing it for weeks. It's just one of those strangely addictive songs you can't get out of your head (and don't know why). Click on the link ... if you dare. Musical S&M

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Or you could do it the way you did it, dear Uomo: Set up a swinging experience with a single swinger woman, needy, just lost a lover, insecure and adolescent in demeanor and mentality and have her decide that she has fallen in love with you after one weekend .....so much so that she is professing to her relatives that you are about to "dump your wife when she gets a job so you can get engaged," calls your wife "the drama queen", (do I have a right to be heartbroken after a fourteen year marriage was just trashed?) not to mention other things, and works very hard to undermine every aspect of her being to you. Now! That IS desperation!

 

So what are you people really about? Lying? Cheating??

 

This chick, who has taken over.....5 e-mails a day....4-5 phone calls daily.....demands every other weekend alone with my husband....was swinger extroirdinaire! Sent me all kinds of reassurances that she would NEVER BREAK UP A MARRIAGE.....yup. (Now refuses to even speak to me.) IF you believe that there is a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you.

 

Well Uomo, you're going to get your day in court after all. YOu are both liars and cheats and narcissistic abusers. Good luck.

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I was a little confused about the last post by Uomo, but then realized it was Mrs. Uomo posting.

 

Mrs. Uomo, that is about as fucked up a situation as I could imagine. I'm wishing Mr. Uomo and his tid-bit luck, because it sounds like the pair of them are going to need it.

 

Hopefully you'll be back again to post (although it sound like you'll be a bit preoccupied); women of character are always welcome here.

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So what are you people really about? Lying? Cheating??

 

I am sorry, Mrs Uomo...

 

Like Intuition, I am assuming that this is the Mrs...

 

Obviously, there are liars and cheaters out there. Guys who fret because the husbands of a swinging couple won't let him "make love" privately to their wives - who are "possessive" as I believe we were called - is someone who is tough to trust.

 

Good posts aside, "untrustworthy" was always the impression Uomo gave...

 

I am sorry that you are having to deal with the reality of that and I wish you all the best.

 

Spoomonkey

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So what are you people really about? Lying? Cheating??

 

No, Mrs Uomo, that is not what we're about. Nor many others around here that responded to this post early on. But, it is obviously what Uomo was about from the start. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you.

 

I never bought what Uomo was selling. He came around here looking for a way to cheat and then seemed to get what swinging was all about. But he obviously never changed his spots. Nothing like lumping the rest of us in with his cheating world. Here's to hoping you, Mrs Uomo, take him for all you can as you deserve much better.

 

Brett

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Wow... I tought this thread was die but... what a twist!

 

As the others I asume it was Mrs. Uomo the one posting here. I regret the question "what are you people really about?" question. We were against Mr. Uomo attitude from the very start. We allways advice against lying and cheating. I don't know who this supposed "swinger" gal is, but I wouldn't say she's "swinger" (besides the discussion in this board about "single swingers").

 

I dislike what happend to you two, but... it seems Mr. Uomo intentions were pretty clear from the very beginning, it's all in the posts you were able to read, and even so you granted her permission for his "affair"... then you dare to blame us?

 

Again, all of this is too unconsistent for my taste, and I wonder if this isn't just trolling.

 

I wish you two luck.

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Yes ... that was the good "Mrs. Uomo" posting.

 

I (Mr. Uomo) have moved on ... the lifestyle ... is not for me. As far as what has (or has not) happened in my personal life ... I'm not going to go there. Some things are best left alone. This may be one of them.

 

In any event, I've enjoyed my time on the SB (while it lasted) ... and although I've said it time and time again ... I really think you are all a great crowd ... and a lot of fun. I came away from the SB with some fantastic insight on lifestyle issues (and on life issues in general). But I'm moving on ...

 

So with that ... I'm calling it a day on the SB ... and wishing you all a fond farewell ... and to the dagger-throwing crowd out there ... no hard feelings. God bless ... the First Amendment.

 

Forever Yours,

 

The Little Llama You Love to Hate ... and Hate to Love ... (Yeah ... You Love Me)

 

The SB's (Gleeful) Devil's Advocate ~ Uomo Universale ;)

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Well I hope we'll hear back from Mrs. Uomo at any rate.

 

She seems nice...

 

I hope so, too.

 

Spoomonkey

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Mrs Uomo Back:

NOW I am supposed to deal with a " HIS lifestyle of every other weekend and too f***ing bad for you "deal with it, bitch."

What I thought and was told I was getting into was not what Uomo's intentions were at all.

A few of you had him pegged from the beginning.

He was ALWAYS looking for an extra piece of ass on the side.

I read all of *her* threads and was actually told by her "I am the militant out the pistol pete cheaters ex part of a couple single female. I would be the last woman to ever hurt another woman that way." In my book that is lying. Call it no other name.

I still feel sorry for her delusional self. AFTER 45 YEARS OF TRYING, SEDUCING, AND GENERALLY SLEEPING WITH ANYONE WHO WOULD GIVE HER A TUMBLE SHE THINKS SHE HAS IT MADE. BY THE WAY.,,, HER ALIMONY RUNS OUT SHORTLY guys in case this one doesn't work out the way she wants it to.......

And sorry that he thinks that he has what he wants, can sign off from the Board, and wish you all a "hail and farewell."

No, I don't see the like of you in either of them. I am more like you. I am open, honest, and prize my integrity and apologize. What I accused you all of was my agony and betrayed self speaking.

I hope NONE of you ever experience what I have been going through these last four weeks. I live with Benedict Arnold.

 

Love, Mrs. Uomo

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Uomo, just cut the bullshit and be your self or take your grandiose spouting ass elsewhere

 

 

 

To be honest, I even doubt there are two different people answering trough the same user account,

 

You know, Sereneiders, I though about it and you posted on it back in mid-January, spot on old chap, spot on !!

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UOMO I HAVE TO SAY FIRST OFF THAT I WANT NO PART IN THIS, BUT I NEED TO VOICE MY OPINION. Cheaters Never win, If your NOT going to tell your Wife about it upfront I would not suggest asking for Help here, Anyone who has been here awhile KNOWS Cheaters are not looked Kindly upon. Hope you can Step up and be a MAN not a Mouse and tell your wife of your Little activities that your seeking out

 

Disgusted in Oregon

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