Where are all the GOOD Single Men?

[Guest MrsVan]

MrVan and I have been trying to find a single male to help in fulfilling a MFM. However as we continue to search we seem to find the ones that have major ego issues, married or "working on a divorce" or are just wanting to jump in the bed without getting to know us or allowing us the opportunity to know them before we include them in our sex life.

 

Are there any true single guys out there that are in this knowing what the couple is wanting and is willing to spend the time with the couple in pleasing the woman? Many seem to want to have another encounter to add another notch on their bedposts.

 

Can anyone give advice as to how to find the right single guy that are not rude and pushy? The ones that are out to please a woman in a MFM without being in a hurry to get things done?

[Spoomonkey 421]

Can anyone give advise as to how to find the right single guy that are not rude and pushy? The ones that are out to please a woman in a MFM without being in a hurry to get things done?

 

We used to look for single men, but got frustrated. We never looked for single women and we have a ton of luck with those...

 

Lesson learned...

 

Now, we just put ourselves "in traffic" and let things happen.

 

Spoomonkey

[Guest MrsVan]

Spoomonkey,

 

I hear ya! It has been extremely frustrating to find a single guy. When you think you found one they turn out to be self centered. I thought finding a single female would be harder but it turns out that finding a single female was alot easier than the males.

 

Guess we will continue to search and hope the right one may come along.

 

MrsVan

[sdlights 15]

MrMrsVanHlebar,

 

Take it from someone who started as a single there are nice guys out there but the idots and egomaniacs have caused a bad image for all singles. Which is one of the reasons why they aren't allowed at most clubs. Becuse so many of them seem to have a hearing problem and don't understand what no thank you and personal space mean. The internet has only made this problem worse. Off my soap box now.

 

Your best defence is a strong screening process. Anyone who starts off with how he is the best lover ever or the best at anything for that matter, you should run from.

 

Whe I was a single, I was alway respectfull and never expected anything from the cpls I chatted with. You are in charge and can ask them to jump thru as many hoops as you feel are necassary to allow you to be comforatable. You are giving them a huge gift and they should never forget it. One or more public meetings is not to much to ask before jumping in the sack. My guess is you know all this but just figured it couldn't hurt to state if for anyone else who might be intersted.

 

Good luck

 

S

[Spoomonkey 421]

I thought finding a single female would be harder but it turns out that finding a single female was alot easier than the males.

 

We collect art... Not the really expensive stuff, mind you, but we are "art sluts". When we are looking for something particular, we have found that we spend hours, days, weeks walking through galleries, surfing the internet, asking questions, etc... Picture after disappointing picture...

 

And we end up with nothing more often than not...

 

But - when we don't need anything - think we are already out of wall space - are really trying to save a little money for something else - THAT is when a painting just jumps off the wall at us... Yeah, we had that happen just last night...

 

"That's the one!" Mrs Spoomonkey will exclaim and out comes the checkbook...

 

Our favorite singles, male and female, have all been like that. We weren't looking, but we weren't avoiding "art shops" either...

 

I just wish there'd be more laws limiting who can paint, if you know what I mean

 

Anyway - good luck out there. You'll find someone. There are good ones out there... You'll just have to "stop looking" to find him

 

Spoomonkey

[curious24 17]

We collect art... Not the really expensive stuff, mind you, but we are "art sluts". When we are looking for something particular, we have found that we spend hours, days, weeks walking through galleries, surfing the internet, asking questions, etc... Picture after disappointing picture...

Kind of off topic but what kind of art do you collect? I'm constantly going to art openings around here. I try to hit two to three openings a month or as many as my schedule will allow. One of these days I'll be a collector as well.

 

back on topic.

 

Why can you couples be anywhere near me? lol

[sereneiders 263]

Yep I was about to make the same off topic and ask the kind of art you like, Spoo (and you too, curious)

[valley 25]

MrsVan.....theres a few really nice ones down my way.Ive got several of them well trained .Maybe I could lend you one for a day or two.

 

We'll discuss commission later.

[Spoomonkey 421]

[hijack]

 

We have a very talented community of local artists in Columbus. Recently we have started collecting "art photography" which has been for our dining area. We bought a stretched canvas photograph called "The Villiage of Eze" (pronounced "EZ", though I delighted in annoying the artist by pronouncing it "easy" even after she corrected me numerous times )

 

The rest of our house is filled with oils on glass - except for the office which now has my "girls", mixed medium forms of pencil, ink and paint on wood...

 

It is still a thing we are learning - but we really don't collect as investment. We are simply moved by certain pieces. Each one has a unique story as to what hit us about it at the time we bought it. But still, we have some money tucked into it, so I should always be able to make a house payment in a pinch

 

[/hijack]

 

Sorry, Mrs Van...

 

 

Spoomonkey

[TNT 1,155]

Yes, there are numerous single men out there who do understand what it is a couple is looking for when it comes to a MFM threesome. It always amazes Ted and I when people say they can't find a good one.

 

I honestly don't know what we do different than anyone else, but we NEVER have a hard time finding a good one to play with.

 

Are your two contacting single men off of ad sites or are you waiting for them to contact you?

 

I think one of the reasons that we never have a problem is that we treat singles exactly like we do couples when it comes to the screening process. We also do not discount those that seem to have ego problems and/or just want a quick fuck...those can be fun at times a well, and upon getting to know them sometimes we usually get to see a whole different person than the one they come across as on-line.

 

We also frequent socials that allow single men to attend and we have met many great singles through other couples that also play with them...word of mouth is the best advertisement for single men.

 

One thing that we have found that seems to always be a good indicator as to whether someone is going to be a good playmate or not (single or couple) is that during any contact we let them know that we are extremely busy, have limited time to meet and that it may take a few weeks before we are free...those that are willing to stay in contact are the good ones.

 

 

Teresa

[couple4973 15]

From the perspective of a lifestyle curious couple interested in a "MFM", we would like to thank MrsVan for her question.

 

MrsCouple4973 is straight, and isn't interested in entertaining another female. She is also very territorial, and isn't willing to share MrCouple4973 in a swap with another couple. If, and when, we decide to take that first step, we expect nothing less than a safe and discrete initiation. Ummm, it would be great if everyone had fun, too!

 

Where do you find GOOD, SINGLE, MEN?

 

The online experience to date has proved that there are a number of men that don't know how to read, or just hope to get lucky (e.g., our profile has no photo and clearly states that we are "NOT YET ACTIVE" - yet one couple emailed us that they liked our profile and wanted to hook up while they were in town for a convention). Will the gentleman we hope to attract appear if and when we change our online profile (e.g., post the photo, announce we are in the game – as Spoomonkey states “put yourself in the traffic”)?

 

Sdlights (above), what were some of the best questions regarding safety and discretion that were thrown at you? What questions were not asked that should have been?

 

TNT (above) serves up a good suggestion regarding socials that allow single men to attend. Any advise on questions (regarding safety and discretion) that you typically ask? How about questions you later figured out that you SHOULD have asked? TNT did offer an excellent hint - any single man that is willing to run the gauntlet is probably a safe bet.

 

Thanks in advance for throwing us a bone! (We will let you decide on your own if the pun was or was not intended)

[Guest MrsVan]

MrsCouple,

 

You are very welcome for the post! I hope that this helps you in the search for a good single guy. We also have found many of them do not know how to read and when they do contact us they want to rush things without giving us the chance to get to know them. We see it as a privilege for the guy to be invited into our sex life and if you are that interested, then to me you wil do what we ask and take the suttle hints. We usually tell them that we do not like to rush things, that we do not play on the first date, etc.

 

We both screen them ourselves before we decide to meet up. We usually IM and see how the conversations flow and ask normal questions about them. If the guy contacts me by IM, I usually suggest for him to also drop MrVan a line to give him the chance to get a feel for him. We have found a possible 3 candidates that seem like "good" guys and hopefully something will come from one of them or all facelick. We have not met up with anyone of them but have been chatted back and forth. So we will see how things go

 

I am also curious as to what type of questions you do ask when doing the screening process. It would be nice to make sure that I am not missing anything of importance.

 

MrsVan

[TNT 1,155]

TNT (above) serves up a good suggestion regarding socials that allow single men to attend. Any advise on questions (regarding safety and discretion) that you typically ask? How about questions you later figured out that you SHOULD have asked? TNT did offer an excellent hint - any single man that is willing to run the gauntlet is probably a safe bet.

 

 

Questions we typically ask...hmmmm...that's a hard one as it's really just general conversation.

 

How long have you been swinging ? Have you ever been to a social or swingers club? How did you get into swinging? What do you like about swinging? If you were a couple would you still want to swing and if so, would it be MFM threesomes that you would be interested in? This last one I think tells a lot about a single man's outlook on swinging...if he would enjoy sharing his own wife/SO with someone else, espesically another man and not just another woman, then he understands what kind of man a couple would be looking for and therefore would be more likely to be that man as a single.

 

The one thing that I/we look for when chatting with anyone is if they can carry on a conversation without sex being brought up. We all know that sex is what we are ultimately looking for, but being able to carry on an intelligent conversation without it being mentioned, to us is a sign that they can think more with their head than with their dick.

 

The most important thing is to follow you gut feeling...if they just don't feel right then they probably aren't...when meeting in person look at the body language and really listen to their responses ...if they seem to hesitate when answering or just don't seem at ease (other than the normal nervousness that everyone feels at times), then they are probably hiding something.

 

Teresa

[couple4973 15]

TNT - Very good advise, thanks!

[Bryan81 15]

Probably a good subject on which to make my first post.

 

From a single male perspective, I can sympathize with your inability to find a good single guy. Too many of my peers are interested in swinging for all the wrong reasons. TNT has some pretty good advice above. I would add that you might have more luck if you come up with a fairly detailed idea of what kind of single guy your looking for, and focus your efforts on guys who fit that description. You'll still run into some duds, but you might save yourself some time and frustration by being a little more up front.

[Jeok 3]

As a returning swinger from a swinging couple, The guys show through their profile when there is a minimum of 2 or 3 communications: email, telephone convesations, the a tenative meet in some acceptable, social setting. That's the way we used to screen singles-M&F, and couples. It seemed easier to become friendly before becoming intimate. Jeo K

[bobtimsean 15]

I think I might classify as a good single man now widowed after a 40 yr wild ride with a fantastic woman. Some say she trained me well. Is there a potential replacement out there, if you think you are e-mail me at bobtimsean@yahoo.com. I'm 62 and have enjoyed many years in the lifestyle when we lived in ca. now living in rural ok.

[SIDESHOW 15]

hmm I am new to this and can definately see a problem with bad boys ruining it for the good ones.

 

funny thing is, the same problem exists in the "real" world too. men are mostly ridiculous, I know I've had my less then stellar moments.

 

so if I may be one of the good ones- do I provide references...lol

[SIDESHOW 15]

ya I'm 32 and live in North Vancouver Canada. I am very active, and run my own business. I am polite, and open minded. I have a great sense of humour and a big........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

smile. LOFL.

[inurbed 15]

Well, I'm single but certainly not an egomaniac or self-centered lover. Perhaps, that's what they all say but I hope that i'm given an opportunity to join in with other couples who are looking for a genuine guy. Don't let the one rotten apple screw it up for the rest of us. Contact me if you desire.

[Paphian 16]

Well, I'm single but certainly not an egomaniac or self-centered lover.

 

Then why does your profile say "Married Male"?

[cumhungrycouple 15]

Hi, well seems to be two types of males;

 

- desperados who think your wife is cheaper than a whore

 

- real swingers who may be single for normal reasons (like not met right person) and loves 3somes and has done many before including as the couple facelick

 

 

Luckily our first MMF 3 somes was the latter - he had been introduced to swinging by his ex-gf and had to break up due to job relocation. Perfect as he was so into watching and sharing. Also very polite and paid my wife loads of heart felt compliments that made her feal even sexier

 

The desperados are obvious with "my dick is huge and I can lick you all week" boasts. If I need that I would get a donkey as a pet

 

Maybe single men need a rating system with a "national rating agency". "Hi I am a Certified 3somer with a SPA (spunk point average) of 3.6"

 

My wife will happily be a tester facelick

[EternallySingle 32]

Ever looked for something and never find it, then find it two or three days later when you are doing something else? Thats what happens to these "good single men". Most single men involved in swinging are not totally dedicated to swinging like some single women and couples I've talked to in the past. Most single men that "get it" are out looking for a relationship and the swinging is something they do just to fill up a weekend they don't have a date. If you come across a single guy that takes swinging more seriously than that, run from him QUICKLY!!! There is a reason he is single, and it has nothing to do with just getting out of a relationship or not having found the right woman.

 

If any of you have read any of my old posts, you know that to a single man, a single woman ALWAYS trumps a couple, even if he knows the woman is only there to talk and the couple is willing to fulfill every one of his sexual fantasies. Thats just the way it is. By not accepting that and making the first move, most couples looking for single men end up settling for the least threatening guy they meet, mainly because the most desirable one has (trumpet fanfare) been discovered by a single woman and she is not named Sharon (Lady E always says that when...well, I think you get the idea.)

 

The only way around it is to actively pursue single men who have profiles you like. If you say "there are so many I'll wait for the right one to write me", more often than not you will wait forever. Single men don't have anything to gain from swinging than sex and maybe friendship. If friendship is not what you are looking for in a single man, you have to work TWICE as hard to get his attention and make him take you seriously than he does. Thinking otherwise will leave you responding to 100 emails from jerks before one writes you and email that sounds reasonably intelligent.

 

Doing the online swinging thing requires all parties to actively look. If you leave it up to the single men to do all the looking when it comes to finding couples or that occasional single woman interested in a single man, the couples and single women will ALWAYS get the worst of the bunch before they get one that even comes close to not disgusting them.

 

In real life it is easier to let single men approach you because you can see them at the same time they see you. You have a chance to see how they behave around others and get a good idea of how they will act around you. You don't have that opportunity online.

 

Well, today is my last day here. Miss E. doesn't share, and thats all right by me. I'll share some more pearls of wisdom with you (hehehe yeah, right), but I'm spending the rest of the next four months ... well, you know.

 

CYA in the funny papers.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Well, today is my last day here. Miss E. doesn't share, and thats all right by me. I'll share some more pearls of wisdom with you (hehehe yeah, right), but I'm spending the rest of the next four months ... well, you know.

 

CYA in the funny papers.

 

ES,

 

I have always admired you and the sound advice you have given. Even though Miss E doesn't share, I hope that you will drop in from time to time and let us know how you are. Many good wishes to you.

 

Jenn

[JnCC 24]

Well, today is my last day here. Miss E. doesn't share, and thats all right by me. I'll share some more pearls of wisdom with you (hehehe yeah, right), but I'm spending the rest of the next four months ... well, you know.

 

CYA in the funny papers.

Another one bites the dust...

 

Yea, we know. Good luck to you both...

[edmustang 19]

Hi, i'm a serious man , engineer living in Rome.

I'm looking for a couple or woman to have sex.

My personal mail is expander72@hotmail.com.

My wife doesn't know anything, i just want to have fun...

i'm waiting...bye bye

 

See, it's THIS kind of idiot "single" guy that makes me wonder if it's even worth trying! I'm still deciding if I want to do this (leaning heavily toward yes), but I haven't taken the plunge yet. I've read threads like this one started with and thought to myself; "I'm exactly the kind of man they're looking for!" However, I've read so many horror stories and have seen so many "single stud" ads that I wonder if it's even worth my time to try?

 

What is an honest single man to do?

[gemini_love 15]

I'm sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble in finding a reliable single male. I'm new to the forums. I was offered only once to be with a couple together, but I was too afraid. To add to the tension, he was my best friend. That was in 2001. Since then, I have been curious about giving myself another opportunity to challenge my fears.

 

I agree that in order to trust some one, you have 2 get 2 know them, at the same time, I would be afraid to give out too many details. I can tell you, however, that I am single. I am 25 and I live in Ohio. I don't mind answering any questions that you may have, but I perfer that we converse in a more private matter, rather than an open forum. I'm sorry, but Im unable to travel out of ohio, because I work full-time. If you are interested still, my email address is: falling_awayfrom_me@yahoo.com

Take care,

Joshua

[kylezx10r 15]

MrsVan ... I understand It is also hard for a single good man to meet good people ...I am still looking ... Ohio here

 

Kyle

[cumhungrycouple 15]

Surely real problem is that a single guy gives off the following "feeling" (same for non-swingers but multiplied for swingers) especially if over say 25;

 

- Why is he still single? surely the best guys are already taken and being single too long makes a mans ego grow and become selfish

 

- is he cheating married/attached man?

 

Its hard on single guys. We tried first MFM with a guy new in town who had to split up with gf as she was working in another country. Having been in difficult international relationships I know sometimes that it happens and hard to keep it going. She had got him into swinging. So he was "normal" not desperate and experienced. he was good and really got us into the lifestyle and said keep i touch as when he is attached he will invite as over, sure will!

 

If young - say

 

We think most single guys - at least on AFF which we are beginning to dislike more and more (but in Asia where we normally are its hard to find swingers) seem to be just looking for easy sex rather than swinging exerience. So looks like couples only from now on. Pity the wife likes extra men.

[edmustang 19]

Hmmm...very good point, CHC. I happen to be divorced myself, but I can see where a couple might be put off by a 40-year-old never-married. I'll have to make that very clear when I decide to do this.

 

Thanks!

[JnCC 24]

If young - say Most of my single, male friends are over 45. Most are professionals, and most have been married "successfully" (10 or more years) at least once. Most date a couple times a week, and most date at least 1 or 2 new women each month. Some date more...much more.

 

Not ONE of those guys is looking for another wife. In fact, if anything, most of them regard the possibility of an emotional relationship as an "occupational hazard" that comes along with dating attractive, upscale women.

 

Our kids are grown (or nearly so). We don't need babysitters. We've recovered near-fully from the financial and emotional devastation of our divorces, and we're just now coming into our peak earning years. We no longer need or want sex 3 times a day. We own our own furniture, it's NOT "French Provincial," and we appreciate the fact that we can go away for a week, come home, and find it exactly where we left it. And we never have to explain a questionable charge on our credit cards, no matter how innocent the circumstances behind it might have been. Or NOT...

 

We can shoot BB guns in the house if we want. Let houseplants die. Go on Midnight-to-dawn motorcycle rides. Put everything in the dryer. Flick our remotes to our hearts content. Leave the toilet seat up, and porn in the VCR...

 

I don't know how many more "reasons" a guy needs to stay single, but just the ones I've mentioned ought to be enough for any man.

 

Will I ever get married again? Surrre...when Christopher Reeve gets back on a horse.

[edmustang 19]

Good ones, JnCC! That pretty much sums it up. I'll add "can spend a quarter of my paycheck fixing up my old Fords because I can afford to do so again."

[TNT 1,155]

Ummm, has it ever occured to anyone that some men and women just don't want to get married, they enjoy being single and there is nothing wrong with them?

 

There is no law that says a man or woman has to get married.

 

 

 

Teresa

[edmustang 19]

You're absolutely right, TNT! However, there are some folks who don't want to get married, and then those that are too _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (weird, extreme, self-centered, antisocial, etc.) to attract a long-term mate. (I know a guy like that. No, we're not friends anymore) I suppose a lot of the single-male horror stories come from meeting the latter kind.

[JnCC 24]

Ummm, has it ever occured to anyone that some men and women just don't want to get married, they enjoy being single and there is nothing wrong with them?

Yup! As a matter-of-fact, it was occurin' to ME as I finished that post...

[BiWoman33 15]

I think a better question when looking at singles is what kinds of relationships do they have in their lives as a whole. As a woman with close deep relationships with friends and family, I've been frustrated in the past by people thinking you have to be with someone. I've had a few long term relationships with men, and look forward to more, but marriage is simply not important to me. It never was, either.

As for single men- I'd love to meet one who is already experienced in the lifestyle, and I have met a few who seem like genuine good guys. THere is often a lack of chemistry, and many are just looking for admittance to parties, and I don't know any single females who are interested in bringing them. I have a much better time on my own than with someone I have no connection with. They are hard to find, so my solution is not to look!

[JnCC 24]

As for single men- I'd love to meet one who is already experienced in the lifestyle, and I have met a few who seem like genuine good guys....They are hard to find, so my solution is not to look!

I noticed the same thing when meeting women from "lifestyle oriented" sites, which is why I stopped looking there.

 

Now, rather than making swinging some sort of "goal" or "requirement" of any new relationship, I regard it as an option that I extend to every new woman in my life. Approaching it in this manner allows me to focus on the person as a whole, and not just in terms of "what she can do for me" or "who I can trade her for at the next swingers function." Paradoxically, taking the pressure off of a woman to participate in this usually has the effect of making them much more comfortable in exploring whatever avenues of "alternate sexuality" they do have, such as bi-sexuality, FMF, MFM, etc.

 

Not restricting my search to women who are experienced in the lifestyle also has the added effect of giving me a much broader spectrum of people to choose from when assessing potential mates.

 

So many singles are trying to find some way of hitching the cart in front of the donkey. It's no wonder that we (males especially), are perceived as "clueless" by most couples.

 

I've often wondered what kind of guy goes on a swingers website to find a woman, and what kind of woman answers those ads. Your post went a long way towards answering both of those questions. Thanks!

[cumhungrycouple 15]

Hmmm...very good point, CHC. I happen to be divorced myself, but I can see where a couple might be put off by a 40-year-old never-married. I'll have to make that very clear when I decide to do this.

 

Thanks!

 

well I think its common sense. As a couple if we see two ads like

 

1. 40 year old male single (divorced 3 years ago) dating but nothing serious as I have not found anyone special enough. I have 2 children so I am i no rush to marry as I dont really want more children as I love them very much and I do get to see them and may never again but who nows. I........

 

2. 40 year old male single with a bick cock great in bed will satify you for 4 hours.......

 

We go for 1 as

 

a) sounds like normal guy who knows how to get dates ie can be nice to a lady

b) isnt all "me me me" and "my cock big"

c) have a personality

 

Ok to go on about sexual performance etc but some basic humanity first! sex later after we know you. Maybe too personal for some maybe but just for illuustration. Anyway would stand out from "my cock big" types

 

Often looking at 100's of ads/emails of cocks and "my cock big" emails I wonder if these guys have EVER got laid. Do they go to women in bars and say "Hi I have a big cock and I will fuck you 2 hours babe". Any women going for that are prob too drunk to care! Really dont they realise its like meeting a person? I always mentally treats all women met online at AFF or online or in person as if I was at a "church social". Ok I might be thinking of them sitting on my face but I dont let on! And once hooked its not a social anymore

 

And in USA being unmarried at 40 is ok. In Asia its like WEIRDO ALERT!

[RGrayson 15]

Single guys are out there with out ego trips.

[curiousagain 326]

You know, it does get old hearing some people say that any single guy has something wrong with him for not being married. I tend to think there is something wrong with somebody who can't stand to be single.

 

In the same vein as JNCC, I come and go as I please, I save or spend my money as I please. I go out or stay in as I please. I tell you, if I get married again, she'll have to be awfully special. And, if I do, we might swing, we might not. That's way down on the list of things a potential mate would have to bring to the table for me to consider them.

 

On the flip side, most desirable women in my age group aren't in any big hurry to get married either for a lot of the same reasons. I tend to like my female friends to live close and visit often but have their own lives and allow me to have mine.

 

One day I may fall head over heels again, but for now, I'm doing fine and don't intend to change things just for the sake of change.

[FlaPlaya561 48]

sure hope you can find one!

[JnCC 24]

...most desirable women in my age group aren't in any big hurry to get married either for a lot of the same reasons. I tend to like my female friends to live close and visit often but have their own lives and allow me to have mine.

I've noticed that women over 40 seem to fall into one of 2 groups. One is happily single, and in no hurry to "fix" that which isn't "broken." Women in that group tend to be reasonably attractive, educated, and financially self-sufficient. They're basically "fun gals just to hang with," and generally subscribe to the "Men are like busses" philosophy..."If you miss this one, not to worry. There'll be another along in 10 minutes." It rarely takes them 10 minutes to find one...

 

Having a small (3-4), select group of women like that in your life can be an awesome experience for a middle-aged man. I might even be so bold as to suggest that having a small group of men such as, ahem... ourselves, can be an awesome experience for a middle-aged woman as well.

 

There's another group of women out there, women who will reluctantly admit that they HATE being single. They hate coming home to an empty house every night, they hate going to family or other social events without a man on their arm, and they're near-phobic about the process of dating...a process that ironically, could eventually lead to their not being single anymore. Sometimes, they have money problems lurking in their background as well. To them, I apply the "Women are like busses" philosophy..."Stay out of their way or they'll run your ass over"

 

It's not unusual to find women from the first group ("happily single") migrating over to the second group ("hates dating and being single") as they approach the age of 50.

 

Just as there are certain skills that are essential to being happy in marriage, there are skills that must be mastered to be happy as a single as well. When one has those skills, their "need" to be married is greatly reduced. Remaining single really is a matter of choice.

 

(BTW, some of those skills, such as self-confidence, the ability to socialize and flirt with others, and the ability to give freely of themselves up to a predetermined point, translate to the swinging world very well.)

 

...One day I may fall head over heels again, but for now, I'm doing fine and don't intend to change things just for the sake of change.

No comment really...I just thought it was a good point and deserved to be repeated again.

[beigekhakis 15]

Here's one!

 

Paul

[edmustang 19]

Just as there are certain skills that are essential to being happy in marriage, there are skills that must be mastered to be happy as a single as well. When one has those skills, their "need" to be married is greatly reduced. Remaining single really is a matter of choice.

 

(BTW, some of those skills, such as self-confidence, the ability to socialize and flirt with others, and the ability to give freely of themselves up to a predetermined point, translate to the swinging world very well.)

 

Well put, JnCC! I would go even farther and say that those are skills that everyone should master, married or single. After my divorce it took me awhile to just get comfortable with myself, as-is. Now, if I don't have a "relationship" going, that's just fine. Much of the time I am my own best company. It lead me to the realization that I would rather be alone than unhappy.

[Cute_Dick 15]

MrVan and I have been trying to find a single male to help in fulfilling a MFM. However as we continue to search we seem to find the ones that have major ego issues, married or "working on a divorce" or are just wanting to jump in the bed without getting to know us or allowing us the opportunity to know them before we include them in our sex life.

 

Are there any true single guys out there that are in this knowing what the couple is wanting and is willing to spend the time with the couple in pleasing the woman? Many seem to want to have another encounter to add another knotch on their bedposts.

 

Can anyone give advise as to how to find the right single guy that are not rude and pushy? The ones that are out to please a woman in a MFM without being in a hurry to get things done?

 

MrsVan

 

 

MrsVan, i am new to this site as i told you before.. If it's ok with you and MrVan, i would like to get to know you and MrVan...

Keep in mind that i live in Cyprus, I know that it will be a problem but at least we can build up an relationship for the future..

[numpteesux 15]

Some food for thought. Why is it assumed that many single males are married and cheating but the same assumptions are not made about single women?

 

I know of a couple that separated about a year ago and during their separation she played quit a bit and VERY few people seemed to have an issue with it. She was upfront and told people that that she was seperated and hoped when they got back together he would join her. Imagine a male saying the same thing, would he be believed? Are our ethics so situational when 'single females' are involved?

[curiousagain 326]

Are our ethics so situational when 'single females' are involved?

 

In a word, "yes". Not for everybody but for many more couples than apply it equally between the sexes. It isn't right and it isn't fair, but it's the way it is. It's the law of supply and demand.

People steal gold and not lead because it's more valuable and part of that is because it is more rare.

[Spoomonkey 421]

People steal gold and not lead...

 

I wish this weren't true, but it absolutely is.

 

Ethics are great - but reality is what it is.

 

Spoomonkey

[good times 991]

I agree with CA and Spoo, single females willing to play with the male of a couple are rare enough that the standards used to evaluate single males often don't apply to them.

 

Is it right? I don't think so, but that is the way it is.

[JnCC 24]

A very wise man once said, "The term, 'situational ethics' is redundant. ALL ethics are situational"