Sharing face pics

[lindyswing 15]

I'd like to find out how you all feel about sharing face pictures over the internet and if you share them, how you got past discomfort with it.

 

Hubby and I are very guarded about sharing our face pictures. Why? First, we're in professions that make us feel uncomfortable at the thought of being outed. Second, we don't buy the argument that if a friend, family member or someone you work with recognizes your picture on a swingers site, no big deal because they are obviously doing the same thing. We have family members that will look at all kinds of crazy sex stuff on the internet at the same time that they judge those people and their sexuality negatively. They like gawking at the "weirdos" of the world, and we haven't wanted to deal with them finding out that we're "weirdos" too. And we really haven't wanted to deal with any co-workers who might also be judgemental and/or gossiping (!) gawkers. Third, we're worried about picture collectors and fakers stealing and using our pictures--there's just something about letting people we don't know very well own our face pictures that is very scary.

 

On our SLS profile, we each have 2 g/pg-rated pictures in which our faces are blocked out/cut off/not showing. We state in our profile that we don't like to share face pictures, and that we would rather meet in person to find out what everyone looks like. We also describe the type of couples with whom we will *consider* sharing face pictures (i.e., because they sound like a perfect match). Our reasoning is that:

 

(1) It's fun to meet other swingers even when it turns out that we don't feel sexual chemistry for them. You get a chance to learn from their experiences and enjoy their company without sex. While this is not as fun as meeting people you want to fuck, it's valuable and fun to meet people who are cool even if they aren't hot

 

(2) Pictures don't give us a perfect indication of physical attractiveness anyway. Sometimes we meet people who look like our types in their pics but turn out to not be our types in the looks department once we meet in person. And sometimes we've been pleasantly surprised when pictures don't do the couple justice in the looks department.

 

So the problem is...it is such a pain in the ass having this boundary about sharing face pics. So many couples want face pics before considering meeting. So many couples want face pics before they'll even chat. And let me clarify that, for the most part, the people we are dealing with contact us first...which bugs the hell out of me since we state so clearly in our profile that we don't like to share face pics. It's also a pain in the ass because while #1 & 2 above are true, it *would* be nice to see face pictures of the other couples before taking time out to meet with them...but to get face pics, one has to be willing to show face pics. Soooo, we are considering putting a face shot right there on our profile open for all free members to see. One reason I'm considering the idea is that I just realized that you can't just right-click to save the pictures people have posted on SLS...so at least no one will own our face pictures. We might make it a private picture as a first step, but so many cool couples (such as us) are free members and can't see private pictures that it would sort of defeat the purpose. But the idea of putting our faces up there still gives us knots in our stomachs...what do you all think about all this? What conditions do you share face pictures under and how did you get comfortable with it?

[VegasLee 1,486]

Personally we are not concerned about anyone seeing us on the Net but we are out so we are different.

 

I am mainly writing to advise you there is MANY other ways to save pictures off the internet then just right clicking on them even on SLS pictures can be saved to someones computer. If that is a big concern, don't post them there.

[Chicup 41]

We have face pictures in our private section but not our public one, gives us a bit of a filter.

 

BTW while SLS and LL and such try to avoid people making copies of the pictures, its quite easy to do so.

[CB_n_Red 16]

Our avatar speaks for itself! That really is us. We don't see any reason to hide. Not to say that others shouldn't make their own minds up on the issue of course.

 

CB

[bill&sabrina 22]

We don't hide our faces on our profiles. Our thoughts are that nothing is wrong with swinging, so why hide. I have yet to hear a reason for hiding, everything I have heard is an excuse. Why do something that would ruin your life if your boss/clients, family, or friends found out?

[graygo98 148]

We provide face pics once we have established a level of interest. If we aren't interested, what would be the point otherwise? Our face pics are also in the private "key required" section of cafedesire. We don't post face pics in public sections of sites or on AFF.

 

Our guideline is that we provide g-rated full body/face pics, and/or X-rated without faces. Never a "compromising" pic that we can be identified from. Pass a pic of us at the beach to as many people as you want, doesn't worry us. And if you want to collect lovely, but anonymous, lingerie shots, be my guest.

 

Also, we won't meet or even chat for long without seeing what both of the other couple look like... full body, face included. If we met with everyone who contacts us something else would have to go, like the kids or jobs or something. There is just not enough time, so if there isn't some level of physical attraction and if their profile or email doesn't interest us its "thanks, but no thanks."

[JnCC 24]

Soooo, we are considering putting a face shot right there on our profile open for all free members to see. One reason I'm considering the idea is that I just realized that you can't just right-click to save the pictures people have posted on SLS...so at least no one will own our face pictures.

I hate to tell you this, but if it appears on a computer screen, there's a way to save it. Programs such as "Snagit" will, for about $20, allow anybody to save anything that appears on their monitor as jpg. file.

 

If posting pics on your profile is going to make you uncomfortable, why do it? This is supposed to be fun...if you're worrying day and night about who might see your pics and what the repercussions of that might be, then don't do it! Once it's "out there," it's out there...forever.

 

Your explanation of why you prefer not to post face pics makes a lot of sense, and would probably strike a similar chord in any reasonable couple who reads it. Post a few mildly revealing body pics, assure them that you both have (or at least wear) all your own teeth, and let it go at that.

 

Besides, first meetings are for sizing people up as people, not as models.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Personally, we like the compromise of having our private SLS profile pages show our faces, while the public ones don't. In fact, most of our private pictures are the same as the public ones except that our faces are shown instead of blacked out. If you go this way, no one gets your pictures-- at least directly-- unless you open them up to that person. The gawkers you speak of, I believe, at least have to have a profile in order to see your private pictures. Then in the worst case, you at least have something on them if they decide to judge you. Swinging has risks no matter how you deal with this issue, obviously, so everyone should do what makes them comfortable.

 

Recently, Mr. Fuse and I met a couple we'd corresponded with at length. They were like you, i.e. their non-face pictures looked good and they were very concerned about showing their faces due to their professions. We understood, and didn't insist on seeing face pictures. So we dolled up one Friday night and drove a half hour to meet them. But as soon as I saw the male half of the couple, I knew nothing would be happening between us. He wasn't ugly--just not attractive to me. Mr. Fuse liked the lady, so I agreed with him that we could meet them again, which is a mistake but not the subject of this thread . We wrote to them and suggested meeting again, and they replied and said there was no chemistry! Talk about justice!

 

After that experience, from now on I don't want to meet anyone without seeing face pictures first. I'd rather relax at home.

 

P.S. Yes, I know I'm being crabby.

[lindyswing 15]

Recently, Mr. Fuse and I met a couple we'd corresponded with at length. They were like you, i.e. their non-face pictures looked good and they were very concerned about showing their faces due to their professions. We understood, and didn't insist on seeing face pictures. So we dolled up one Friday night and drove a half hour to meet them. But as soon as I saw the male half of the couple, I knew nothing would be happening between us. He wasn't ugly--just not attractive to me. Mr. Fuse liked the lady, so I agreed with him that we could meet them again, which is a mistake but not the subject of this thread . We wrote to them and suggested meeting again, and they replied and said there was no chemistry! Talk about justice!

 

LMAO!!! Justice indeed!

 

As cool as everyone on swingersborad is, Vegas Lee is THE coolest. I aspire to being out, maybe not as out as Vegas Lee but at least close. We're not there yet, and I don't know if we'll ever get there, but we're getting closer all the time. Considering putting up face pictures is another step in that direction.

 

Thanks all for the heads up that there would in fact be some way to save our pictures on SLS...my computer-wiz hubby said the same thing...but to me it's still an extra level of security that they can't just right-click. If you think my face is so pretty that you have to buy a special computer program or learn whatever skills you'd have to learn to save my face picture, well then, maybe you deserve to own my face picture

 

Hubby made a funny joke about this last night...to the people who say, "Well if they see my face on the swingers site, I know they were there for the same thing," his response is "But that's not a conversation I want to have with my mother!" But I pointed out the flaw in hubby's logic...if your mother is on the swingers site too, I think you DO want her to see your face picture so she doesn't contact you and set up a meeting!

 

The more I think about it, the more I'm leaning towards the attitude of bill&sabrina:

"Our thoughts are that nothing is wrong with swinging, so why hide. I have yet to hear a reason for hiding, everything I have heard is an excuse. Why do something that would ruin your life if your boss/clients, family, or friends found out?"

 

It's true that it wouldn't ruin our lives. It's also true that even in the absence of having face pics up, we're still at risk for being outed involuntarily. In some ways it would be a relief to not be hiding!

 

Now to convince my husband

[Better Half 15]

While we agree that there is nothing wrong with swinging, we don't want everyone to know because of judgments that will be made. It really isn't that different than other issues besides swinging. We have some political views that about 50% of the population would disagree with; we are comfortable sharing those in some situations. We also have some views that would seriously offend about 99.9% of the population; those we keep to ourselves. Again, while we don't think there is anything wrong with our "offensive" views, we don't want everyone to know because of judgments that will be made.

 

In terms of how to handle the face picture issue, we have a public picture that has our faces blurred. We have private pictures that show most of our face but have a black bar over the eyes. When we contact a couple or are contacted by one, we play it by ear. We generally provide access to our private pics (with blacked out eyes) if we are interested in them. If they have full face (no blackout) pictures and we are interested, then we generally ask for an external e-mail address to send them our full face pictures. Although we certainly don't feel any requirement to do so, we tend to provide them with our full face pictures if they have provided us with theirs (in either their public or private pics). In any event, we would want to get (and send) full face pictures before any meetings.

[TNT 1,155]

Our avatar speaks for itself! That really is us. We don't see any reason to hide. Not to say that others shouldn't make their own minds up on the issue of course.

 

CB

 

 

Dito

 

We won't meet anyone who contacts us off an ad site without having first seen a clear face picture. We're not really fond of even corresponding with someone that we haven't seen a picture of and it does state in our ad that if you contact us, please include a picture as you have already seen one of us. None of our pictures are private.

 

 

Teresa

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Guess our avatar is the same. We will only meet people we've seen pics of. Why? Because you never know when it might be a single guy posing as a couple or some other wacko.

[good times 991]

We have face pictures on our profile but they are private and we only give access to people we are interested in.

 

By the way, you don't need any special program to save the pictures on the ad sights. Most browsers will do it if you know how and it is almost as easy as just right clicking the picture.

[meandher2go 17]

Personally we are not concerned about anyone seeing us on the Net but we are out so we are different.

 

I am mainly writing to advise you there is MANY other ways to save pictures off the internet then just right clicking on them even on SLS pictures can be saved to someones computer. If that is a big concern, don't post them there.

 

THIS is so true. its VERY easy to do it on a right click protected website. its only a java script.......

 

and screen captures are VERY easy to do with almost any image editing program that MOST people have on thier computers already.

 

if you are THAT worried, DONT POST THEM AT ALL.

[WesternSwing 504]

We have face pics on our profile, both public and private pics. We're not that worried about it since we're not in a profession where being outed would matter. Plus, like I said in a previous thread, we block our pics from free members, so those just looking to find a neighbor, friend, or coworker would have to really be serious about doing it.

 

Mr. WS

[JnCC 24]

We will only meet people we've seen pics of. Why? Because you never know when it might be a single guy posing as a couple or some other wacko.

How do you protect yourselves from a single guy who's been sending you screen grabs from some other couples website? There's not a thing in the world that keeps some asshole from snatching pics from a legitimate profile and using them in his own, fanciful, "couples" profile.

 

Then, using those pics and some carefully chosen wording in his new, "couples" profile, he, (communicating as a "couple" of course) convinces you to give him access to your private pics (which he promptly copies), and the process begins all over again.

 

Pics alone are no guarantee that the person you're corresponding with is a couple.

[Deptydog 15]

As for Avatars, I think ours speaks for itself.

 

Face pictures aren't a problem for me, but Mrs. DD doesn't like the idea, so we don't share ours with many people until we've spoken with them a couple of times. If we want someone to see ours, we send them in an email. If someone won't consider speaking with us until they've seen our face picture, then I think that they are too hung up on looks. And besides, it's their loss.

 

I'll grant you that looks are important and there should be some attraction to the other couple. However, how much trouble is it really to get to know the person behind the face first. Pardon my French, but if you just want to get laid, hire a hooker. Mrs. DD and I want friends as well as bed partners.

[NFA-n-Indy 15]

By the way, you don't need any special program to save the pictures on the ad sights. Most browsers will do it if you know how and it is almost as easy as just right clicking the picture.

 

Yea and even if your browser won't it is simple so long as you have a keyboard and microsoft paint, which I would think most everyone does minus a few Linux users and I'm sure there's a way to do it with Linux too.

 

This is why we don't have public face pics. While I'm not concerned with someone seeing my face on a swingers site I would hate to have some jerk copy our pics and put them in a porn gallery site...

[thediva05 15]

I like using the web camera mode on yahoo messenger. And should some one have a method of snagging it ,then fine because all they will get is a g (sometimes pg13) rated live shot on a messenger that can easily be explained since most people have a messenger of some form or fashion in use.

[JTcamp05 9]

We both worry about the same things......Have sent a few to select people after getting to know they are "real"......its just hard on the computer to know....never had a problem at a club or resort.....whats someone you know gonna say if they see you there? Guess if someones not willing to put the effort forth to meet us then it wasnt ment to be!!

[Guest MrsVan]

MrVan and I have face pics available for everyone to see. We do not mind sharing. When we first got into the lifestyle we were not sure we wanted our faces out there for the same reasons that you said. I work for a very large company, and MrVan is self employed and did not want clients to see him. But we then realized that there was no reason to hide them. If our friends, clients and etc were to see our pics then they were obviously there for the same reasons we are. And I think they would be just as embarrassed to bring it up to us for not wanting us to know that they are also out there.

 

As for your profile. If we as a couple got a message from another couple that would not share a face pic before trying to meet then we may not meet. We want to make sure that there is not going to be any suprises when we arrive to meet and to make things more comfortable at the meet it is easier to have a face to go with the names. Just our thoughts! We have decided to not be ashamed of being in the lifestyle and if anyone else finds out, well they are just like us

 

MrsVan

[SandRfun 15]

Hi Lindy Welcome , We have all kinds of pictures on our profile. We have our face shots in our privates. If we talk to a couple and they sound like they would be a match for us, then we will open them up. But we require that they do the same. We like to see whom we are meeting before we actually meet.

SandR

[fun4Ds 1,098]

were fitin in here with everyone els.we send our face pics through e mail {g rated} take the chance if someone wants to use photo software they can . they could put our faces on anything from a porn star to a horses ass .we would have to answer to that if it comes to that, so far it hasn't. we do however personaly know someone who had their profile with a unmistakeable tatoo sent to their parents. they delt with it. another cpl had a guy try to blackmail them and it didnt work out for him. anyone could get a pic anywhere in real day life and do anything with it these days.we just try to be carfull and enjoy what were doing.

[NandTfromCA 84]

We just took our face pics OUT of the public area, but we have several in our private photos.

 

When you think about it, are you concerned with a nice looking, non-sexual face pic of you floating around the net? There are obviously numerous ways to save what appears on the screen but the pervs probably aren't going to be saving casual pics. It also doesn’t mean much of someone you know happens across a innocent picture of you in and of itself.

 

The bigger concern for us is that someone who knows us will actually log onto a swinger site and see us there. There is part of us that would love to be outed but we are still at a point that we would rather that certain people not know. Since we have face pics in our secure area, we turn them on for specific people so they can see us, then we turn them back off (reminds me that I have to clean out our “who can see our privates” list ). No system of showing yourself to someone is above being seen by someone else but we feel pretty safe with that method.

 

Concerning seeing pics before meeting; we wont meet a couple unless we see what they look like. When we started, we didn’t care who we met because it was nice to just converse with interesting people. We have since become more selective with our time and make sure that there could at least be some level of physical attraction before making plans. We might be missing out on that really cool couple that we at first find physically unattractive (everyone has their own image of “attractive”) but there are trade-offs in every decision.

[super_ugly_cpl 15]

As to saving pictures off of SLS (or wherever, I guess), usually its just a JavaScript block on a page. That is, you turn off JavaScript in your browser and then you can right click and save.

 

That is how easy it is for them to get your pictures. We never ever send face pictures, even for non-nudes.

[brianellis46705 15]

i have a reasoning that basically eliminates your shame......the wrongness seen in exposing yourself varies with the individuals viewing.....to say someones nakedness is a sin is in itself a sin.....a child doesn't hesitate nor does any other life forms.....if you want to bend over for the neighbors, do it.....thier inner perversities will show

[ShellyM 0]

I'd like to find out how you all feel about sharing face pictures over the internet and if you share them, how you got past discomfort with it.[/Quote]

We only have our facial pics under private access on SLS. We NEVER share them on yahoo im unless we really are comfortable with the couple, and know who we are talking to. With us, we are more concerned with traders than being "outed", so since they are pretty protected on sls we have no problem with letting people see our faces, if we have talked with them. If you are concerned with getting outed just be really picky with who you give access to.

 

On our SLS profile, we each have 2 g/pg-rated pictures in which our faces are blocked out/cut off/not showing. We state in our profile that we don't like to share face pictures, and that we would rather meet in person to find out what everyone looks like.

In all honesty, I would not go for that. Call me vain or whatever, but I would really like to know who I am meeting first. I don't know many people who would go on a completely blind date like that, but perhaps I'm wrong.

[ShellyM 0]

As to saving pictures off of SLS (or wherever, I guess), usually its just a JavaScript block on a page. That is, you turn off JavaScript in your browser and then you can right click and save.

 

That is how easy it is for them to get your pictures. We never ever send face pictures, even for non-nudes.

 

True, nothing on the internet is ever TRULY protected lol.

[Dooode 18]

True, nothing on the internet is ever TRULY protected lol.

True enough. But then, who'd want to steal my ugly mug? (someone uglier than me because it actually did happen!! LOL)

[Tia Vampire 167]

well we really don't care who see our pic.of our faces. i would put up naked pics. of us. only a more mature and well opened minded person can appreciate the individuality of a person. yes people judge you everyday, but why worry about them? what do they do for you? i'm sorry but what people think of me, i can care less if my life-style does not meet thier approval. even with my carrer and children, i still can care less. you only live once and life is too short to worry about other people. do i sound selfish? maybe i am a little, but it has gotten me through life so far. no worries and i love life.

[Tia Vampire 167]

also if there are no pic. shot of your face, you are likely not to get many people wanting to e-mail you because they feel you are not secure with your looks and they themselves don't know what you look like to see if they are interested in getting to know you better. i am a face person.i like to see the eyes because i feel they tell alot about a person.the smile has to be beautiful too, before i can even consider to e-mail a person.

[lucifersam 15]

Hi, why spend the $20.00, just click your printscreen key and then open your paint program in accessories and click edit tab then paste ... Voila your monitor view is there to see and save if you wish. You can save as whatever type of file you see in the drop down menu. Enjoy

[Dooode 18]

lucifersam:

 

HEY! You're not supposed to tell 'em!!!

 

Seriously, considering the number of newbies, fakes and pic collectors on ANY site, I'm not sure how wise it is to reveal techniques to steal images.

[Mr. Truelove 81]

I think judging by the ease that pictures are saved, it's more important to inform people that don't know about this. Picture collectors surely already know.