Bisexuality in Swinging

[SharperEdge69 16]

Granted I'm a single male but I have noticed somethings in swinging. One being the apparent acceptance of bi women and shunning of bi-men. No I am not bi but I met one couple in that the woman enjoyed seeing her hubby give a man a blowjob. Before and after we met I was adamant about not doing it and they were cool as it was not paramount for her nor him as it was not his favorite thing to do either but he did it cause he loved his wife.

 

Anyway, this whole oral sex from a male has reared its head again and I don't want to and again it is not required. My question is, how many of the swinging couples in here engage in bisexual activity? Do you enjoy it?

[Stratecpl 19]

We DON'T and AIN't Gonna either!

[danc694u 19]

We ain't goin there either.

[TNT 1,155]

Well, should the opportunity ever present itself I personally see no reason why not. This lifestyle is suppose to be about openess in ones own sexuality, but unfortunately there are a lot of closed minded people. It seems that it is quite acceptable for the female to be bi, but not for the man. Why it is this way is a mystery to me. I see nothing wrong with bisexuality in either men or women. Luckily I have a husband who feels the same way. If it feels good and does not hurt anyone in the process than it should be alright to do. I do not belive that the scare of anal penetration being a higher risk for HIV/AIDS, is the only reason that men shy away from this, after all, they love having anal sex with females. Is it the thought that having sex with another man might somehow diminish the mans masculinity? If thats true, then wouldn't a woman having sex with another woman diminish her feminity? All I know is that my husband and I can be with another couple who are both straight, and have no problem with it. But, if we should ever find another bi-couple, WOW ! Just think of the endless numbers of positions.

 

Well, just my two cents worth.

 

Teresa

[CanadianCouple 18]

Make that three of us.

[LIZA 20]

where do you live, TNT??

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I would love to see two guys together... but I know it will never happen with my hubby. He doesn't even really go for anal sex with me (or other females), and has a complete aversion to the idea of being with another guy...although luckily he has no aversions to me being with other guys...lol

 

Funny thing is.. he is also atypical of most guys in that he could care less about seeing me with other woman and would prefer to see me with other guys.. if two women are involved he wants to be in the middle of it, not watching.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Having placed many ads for single men and screened them so many times let me share this. We always look for single guys that would indulge in oral bi activity because it turns on tammy and I kind of enjoy it occasionally also.

 

Now the point. I would say that after the majority of the men see how attractive my wife is all of a sudden they seem to be bi-orally curious. I don't mean a small percentage but a huge one. Practically all of them would consider it because my wife is very attractive. So what is the point?

 

I believe that many men are JUST as bi curious and orally bi as I am. However they have made a life long tribute of not even acknowledging it to anyone else including their partner. They think it is a weakness. I have even noticed that men that were once friendly to me and had great conversations with me all of a sudden back off of me on a friendship level because I am pretty much open about my feelings and they cant handle it. So they choose to avoid what could be a great friendship because of there own insecurities.

 

I would never try to talk a guy into having oral sex with me and I have never done it without my wife present except for a couple of experimental things when i was a young man before marriage. I actually carried a good amount of guilt about it also.

 

The fact is that I do not have fantasies about my wife being with another female and she doesn't get off on the idea either although she has tried it and had some pleasure during it. Its just not a thing.

 

Many men are tripping over there tongue to hurry and tell everyone that listens how they would never do it and have no fantasies about it but a lot of them do inside.

 

Many females have the fantasy of seeing there man engage in this though and the lack of communication that they propagate is lost in this subject. Some are in denial. While having sex with other partners is so acceptable with the opposite sex MM contact is still taboo. I told the people at the club that we frequent about my bi feelings and was met with a friendly cold shoulder and could not care less.

 

Anal sex is repulsive to me but if the question were asked i would never jump in and say NOT ME NOT ME...that would be a bit of an overreaction with the ole Shakespeare saying of "my doth protest too much my dear" or something like that.

 

Ah well as swinging evolves more and more people will be less defensive and less vocal about how they aren't "that way" because most people really don't care if you are or aren't. All I know is that my lover gets off on it like a lot of men get off on watching there gal with another gal.....and I try to please my gal in any way possible.

 

If she wanted me to try anal sex with a guy I would definitely draw the line though...but not because I'm afraid of it being a reflection on my personality but because I just happen to find it non pleasurable in my mind so i would be non pleasurable to do it...

 

But I wouldn't jump on and say Not this guy!!! As if it meant I'm better than people that get off on it.

 

Swinging is an expression of tolerance and I find it so odd that sublimely I have been shunned because of my feelings...John's two cents.

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:he is also atypical of most guys in that he could care less about seeing me with other woman

 

Ron is like that too...in fact he's very turned OFF at the sight of two women messing around... We know a few other men that don't like it. Interesting too...some of them will claim to enjoy it because they are afraid to admit they don't in front of other men. Ron's had guys tell him he ain't "normal" if he don't like to see two women together... Ron is like me though and has no curiosity or doubts or questions about who he is and what he likes. Str8 all the way here.

[LIZA 20]

I think the majority of men are at least somewhat turned on by two women together...But I don't think very many men realize how many women would like to see their partner with another man. The more I talk to different women the more I find it is a fairly common female fantasy, although certainly not in the league of 2 women

[danc694u 19]

Originally posted by LIZA:

I don't think very many men realize how many women would like to see their partner with another man

 

This is a very true statement. Thankfully, it is not a fantasy of my SO. We have many friends that have told us the same thing. Friends with straight husbands. Friends without husbands. All want to see 2 men together. One even found her a bi couple (males). Started a relationship, which lasted several months. She was a very happy camper LOL.

 

I must admit curiosity on my part. But, I'm still not going to go down that road. No way...No way

 

 

[Stratecpl 19]

I have several things I want to say so let's see where to begin....

 

TNT, you stated that "This lifestyle is suppose to be about openess in ones own sexuality, but unfortunately there are a lot of closed minded people."

 

I'm not closed-minded at all. I know what I like and I will pursue just that. If other people want to cross new lines at every turn, that's their bag... NOT mine. If it's unfortunate that there are still a few straight people out there, I guess it's just a note of good music to me. If it's some way of suppressing sexuality by being straight, then I guess I'm guilty. But I really enjoy being straight and I will fight anyone who tries to make me do otherwise. That's just MY take on this....

 

michigancouple, my wife is also very attractive but we don't have any problems with other women trying to get it on with her. Many have asked, now, to be sure.... but she would fight them tooth and nail, just as I would... LOL Nor do the men decide they want to do the BI thing either.

 

You say that many men are secretly bi-curious? Well, I agree, many are. If they are here, at MY house, they'd better not make any mention of that fact. If they do, they know the way out of our door.

 

Now, we can be friends with anyone, whether they are bi, gay, lesbian, or the dreaded STRAIGHT. We just won't play with anyone who tries to push his/her ideas on us. I have absolutely NO fantasies whatsoever concerning M/M play. If you do, that's great and I hope you have lots of fun. I will just never be involved.

 

And you mention swinging as evolutionizing? Yes, it has an awful lot. The way it USED to be was M/F, MFM, FMF, MMMMF.... etc. Nowadays, we find women looking just for other women, and men seeking other men. Somehow, this doesn't seem right to me. If you like it, do it. Most of the swinging world will applaud you. But if 999 people jump off the roof of some tall building and then it's YOUR turn, will you do likewise just to be cool? Or to follow the trend??

 

My preferences are mine and no one will ever sway them in my mind. Likewise, I'll never ask my wife to do anything she doesn't want to, because she makes her own mind up. She's not my puppet, doing things merely to excite me or please my fantasy. I actually fantasize about seeing her with other men. That's right, MEN. Not women. I fantasize about seeing ME with those women...........

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[LaylaSusanne 15]

Well, Tom has always been openly (with me anyway) bi-sexual. He had been with men before he was married, and after, before he met me. When we began dating, he was really turning that part of himself off, and trying to pretend it wasn't there.

 

But, he is what he is, and that's fine with me. I wouldn't want him to try to be anything or anyone else. He actually hasn't been with another man in several years sexually. We swing with couples, so of course there have been other men around, but no bi activity. I would LOVE to see him with another man. We talk about it often, and just talking about it turns me on (AND him). But so far, the planets have not aligned just right.

 

We are very open about both of our sexuality. We don't hide it or anything. But we also never would push it on anyone, or even ask for someone to "try bi" if they weren't already. Most of the couples we are with are straight. Again, some bi play with some of the women. I am not bi myself, but I can enjoy certain aspects of being with a woman, as long as there's a man nearby to take over. My friends and I have borrowed a term from this board and call it "Bi-Occasional"

 

And none of the couples we play with have a problem with Tom being bi-sexual. Maybe because we don't hide it, and also because Tom makes it VERY clear he is not expecting anything from anybody, of any gender. No one does anything they don't want to do. Some of the guys are kind of what I would call maybe "bi-sensual" (I don't know) They will touch each other, rub each other's chests or backs, or lean against each other. They comment on each other's bodies, grab butts and stuff. Not locker room like, much more sexually. But no penis-touching, and no blow jobs. I think it's kinda funny. And strange.

 

It's clear to me they could easily be with a man, and would enjoy it, and probably even think about and fantasize about it. But they have this invisible "penis line" they don't cross.

 

We have placed one ad looking for a bi male or preferably a couple with a bi male, but we got so slammed with single guys saying they were bi-curious orally, and had never been with a man, but detailing all the ways they could please ME, that we gave up on it and decided, like everything else, if it's meant to happen, it will. If we meet someone, and get to know them, and the guy turns out to be Bi, great! We're not going out of our way, or changing our usual way of finding playmates.

[Mike and Jan 20]

Great topic! Lot's of fire here. LOL! Ok, Michigancouple, as you can probably tell by our stories and profile we're much like you two. Straight female, curious male. And, there are many couples just like us out there. Now I have to admit that I'd love to see Jan with another woman but would never try to talk her into it. She's just not interested and that's..., that. I think this is sort of like smoking to some folks. It's ok for some but not in our house or motor home. So, just step outside if you want to smoke. Hey, wonder if we two guys should just step outside to play with each other at a party? Of course, our wives would certainly want to go with us to watch. Well, really curious to see the rest of the responses to this thread, so come on folks... keep firing off the comments!

[TNT 1,155]

Ok, to answer a few questions and clarify a few statements.

 

First, Liza we are in Florida.

 

I agree with Michigancouple, I think that there are a lot of men who are bi-curious, but for some reason will not admit this. Why this is,is something I don't understand.

 

Stratecpl..I did not say you were closed minded(not from your first response anyway). I said there were a lot of closed minded people out there. My point being..when other couples or single men find out that my husband is bi, they tend to never want to see us again...just because he is bi, dosen't mean he has to act on it..Like Layla said...he dosen't expect it( and neither do I if the woman is not bi). You said yourself (in your second response)...that if a man is at your house and mentions that he is bi, he knows the way out. Why is that ? And isn't that being closed minded ? Being bi means that you enjoy both sexes, but not that you necessarily have to have both sexes. You could be missing out on a very enjoyable experience with a man for a very good straight MFM play session. The bi-people we know (we know a lot of bi and straight people that we play with) would never try and push an encounter of bi-activity on someone that was not bi themselves..they would just say ok, and enjoy the straight play. Anyone who does try and push their beliefs on someone else, it being bi-activity, S&M, B&D, or any number of other activities is not someone we would want to play with at all. Yes, we both enjoy our bi-play activities, we also enjoy our straight-play activites but, above all else, we enjoy just being with each other.

 

Teresa

[Stratecpl 19]

Teresa,

 

Being with your partner, spouse, mate, or friend is what it's all about. I didn't mean that the mere mention of being BI was all it took to send someone out the way they came in. If they are bi, I don't mind them looking but just so that's all. It's just appalling to me that there are so few straight people left. Those who ARE are looked upon by the majority of others as being odd, old-fashioned, or eccentric. I really and truly believe that men and women were created for interplay between the opposite sexes, not in like sexes. Just my opinion here. But if the swinging world must continue to evolve into something that we are uncomfortable with, you can damn sure bet that we won't be that 1000th person on that rooftop....

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl 19]

TNT...clarification..the first response was mine, not Ron's.. not important though..I do want to say that in my opinion feeling the way we do is not close minded...I cannot relax and be comfortable around bisexual people so that is why we would not play with most of them even if they do claim to respect our wishes....

 

Why?? because we've been burned too many times by bisexual people who don't keep their hands to themselves OR that try to convince us that we are wrong for being str8. I have trusted before and have been let down in that trust. I can't concentrate on having a good time and relaxing with the man I'm with if I feel that I have to keep one eye on where the other woman is and where her hands are... We have met a couple where the woman is bi curious and so far it's worked well, but I admit I do stay as far across the bed from her as I can get..I'll never have 100% trust even with her I don't think... if you were a heterosexual person who had as many bad experiences as we have with bisexuals you'd understand where we're coming from here. It's a matter of trust and repect, and when that trust and respect has been abused or blatantly ignored as many times as ours has then you'd be the way we are, too. Not one day goes by that we don't have bi people contacting us and trying to convince us that we should "Try Bi." I get it from the women..Ron gets it from the men..when we first entered this lifestyle we had no idea it was going to be like this!! It's very disheartening sometimes.

 

Connie

 

PS

 

Interesting example right now..

I have Swappernet pulled up on another browser..at the same time I just hit send on this post the mailbox popped up on Swappernet...it was a bisexual man who (even after reading our profile which states very plainly that we are both str8)...wanted Ron... point made.

[danc694u 19]

Originally posted by TNT:

This lifestyle is suppose to be about openess in ones own sexuality, but unfortunately there are a lot of closed minded people

 

I dont' think that "closed minded" is a factor in this issue. I think it deals with personal preferances. I can't think of a better way to drive this point home, than to say that some people find sex with animals exciting. Are you open enough for that? Yourself? Not us!

 

While I personally wouldn't try BI. I have no problem with BI men. We're pretty upfront with our sexual preferances, and will swing with a BI-male. But, there will be NO sex between myself and the bi-male.

 

While Maggie carries the label of Bi. She does not consider herself Bi. I asked her once why she did not consider herself BI. Her response; "While I find both satisfying, I'd rather be with a man."

 

So that brought up another question; "Why have sex with a woman at all then?" She said; "It just works out that way sometimes."

 

I can't recall but a couple of times when she actually "picked" up the female part of a couple with intention of having sex.

 

 

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by danc694u:

 

While Maggie carries the label of Bi. She does not consider herself Bi. I asked her once why she did not consider herself BI. Her response; "While I find both satisfying, I'd rather be with a man."

 

So that brought up another question; "Why have sex with a woman at all then?" She said; "It just works out that way sometimes."

 

I can't recall but a couple of times when she actually "picked" up the female part of a couple with intention of having sex.

 

 

This brings up another question I have had..Why is there so many differing ideas about what is considered Bi and what isn't?

 

We've had people say they are str8, however they would play a "little bit" with the same sex. ???What's with that??? I;ve seen women who clamed to be str8 on their profiles are tell us they were str8..get up on the dance floor and dance, fondle and kiss other women at parties...uh...excuse me??? Str8??? I had one recently contact us...said str8 on the profile..but then n the next correspondance she says she loves to kiss women..?????Hello????I don't get it? And I heard the definition of bi_curious described as a bi woman gives and recieives oral to another woman while bi-curious only receives??? Hello??? Thats just one of many different definitions of bi-curious I've heard...

 

Someone mentioned that swinging has evolved...into what??

 

Connie

[danc694u 19]

Connie,

 

I really can't answer that question. I can give you Maggie's point of view. She says if it happens, it happens. But, she will not actively seek it out. And, I've never pushed it.

 

I felt honored, to be with her the first time she was with another woman. We all had a great time. And, I've witnessed her telling another woman (after a few drinks too many) that she would fuck them silly. LMAO

 

But, she still insist, she is not BI. I guess BI is a state of mind.

[Stratecpl 19]

danc694u...I guess that's where I'm confused..it being a state of mind..it just seems to me either one is Bi or they're not...

 

You mentioned it being matter of personal preferances...it is, at least it should be... but to us it's also a matter of respect...we don't go around telling other couples that they are wrong if they want to be Bi. Like we get told we are wrong for being str8 so often...I KNOW ALL couples are not like this but trust me many of them are...many have the attitude that if you're going to be in this lifestyle you have to conform to the majority preferance or you have no business being in it at all. That is totally wrong and that is what gets mine, Rons and a couple of our other str8 friends dander up so much on this subject.

 

Why do people have to insist that everybody has bi-curious feelings? Everybody does not..yet we hear way too often this crap...Every women is Bi or everyman has thought about being with other men...Why can't they accept the tiny percent of those of us who are truly beyond a shadow of a doubt heterosexual and respect that?

 

Heterosexual people do enjoy sex as much as bisexual people and want to enjoy the freedoms that this lifestyle has to offer just as much as bisexual people do...it should NOT be this hard....Ron and I have only been in this for 1 year but we could already write a book on the trouble we've had with bisexual men and women.

 

Connie

[CanadianCouple 18]

I just can't resist putting my two cent's worth in on this one.

 

Personally, I'm sick and tired of certain people in this world constantly implying there's something inherently wrong with hetersexuals. We've all heard it, the over-used, worn-out-to-death term 'homophobe', hurled whenever anyone shows a negative reaction to anything pertaining to homosexual behavior.

 

Look, you are what you are sexually, and I'm tired of people involved in swinging who happen to be 100% constantly being on the defensive simply because the thought of engaging with someone of the same gender is personally nauseating. Perhaps bi and gay people just can't get it, but let me use an analogy that might help.

 

Try to imagine engaging in incest. Because that's about the same level of disgust as this straight man has when he thinks of having sex with another man. I can only assume the same holds for straight women thinking of other women. I'm not criticizing anyone who participates in same gender sex, but please afford us heteros the same consideration.

 

 

Dan

 

 

[JnK 15]

Ron, Connie, Dan,

 

I agree with you all on this issue. I am straight as an arrow and so is my girlfriend. We're new at this as a couple but in just the short time we've been online with a profile we've got ton's of responses from Bi men and women.

 

Most are respectful. However we've got some real pushy ones too.

 

I think J, my girl, posted already on another thread here about the one woman who told us that J would quote "Have to learn to eat pussy" If she expected us to be successful in this lifestyle. Now what kind of sh*t is that? Man oh man! I really don't get people.

 

The K half of JnK

[Blackhawk 15]

I am very open minded. My partner is as well. I'm not openly bi, but, I am certainly NOT afraid to touch another man. It does not threaten, nor bother me at all. The only thing that I really don't like, is Anal Sex with another man. That's just not my thing. At the same time, I don't condemn others for wanting to. I mean, after all, the lifestyle is all about learning, and growing. Right?

[Mike and Jan 20]

Really great thread here! Ok, I think that there are some totally heterosexual men and women just as there are some totally homosexual men and women. I think the rest of us sort of fall in to degrees of bisexuality. Now I do believe that there are some women, who are heterosexual, being talked into trying bisexual, and some slightly (or more) bisexual men not experimenting when they'd like to because of what's considered ok, and not ok, in the swinging community. If a woman says she doesn't enjoy anal, folks will accept that usually and not even consider trying with her. So, if someone says they're really not interested in anything bi..., believe them. And, just because a guy admits he's a bit curious..., well don't feel like he's going to seduce you.

[LIZA 20]

Not being so defensive is a good starting place. The free world is evolving, as is swinging. This has more to do with acceptance of bi-men, because I think bi-women have been accepted for some time, although my knowledge only goes back about 15 years and my experience about 4!

 

People get so hung up on definitions of sexuality...If you are a 100% straight woman and another woman's hand touches you, do you really think it is going to feel all that different than a male hand? or mouth? or vice-versa if you are a straight man being fondled my another guy. Hetero, bi and gay preferences are more in your minds and your backgrounds than they are in your bodies. Anyone will respond to a stimulating touch if that can get beyond their preconceived notions of what box of sexuality they fit into.

 

Now saying that, I DON'T think anyone should force their sexuality onto others and straight couples who are totally uncomfortable with anyone who is at all different, or who may want to touch them, should stick with other couples who are also 100% straight (if you can find them!)

 

Myself, I have been with quite a few women. I don't necessarily consider myself truely Bi tho, because although I can and am sexually attracted to women, there is zero emotional connection. I could not imagine myself in a relationship with a woman, and never have been. I think that is what truly defines us...If you ONLY relate emotionally to to your own sex, you're gay.....If you can and do relate to both, you are bi and if you can only relate emotionally (and sexually) to the opposite sex, you are completely straight.

 

The rest of us are just out here doing what ever comes easily at the time.

[Stratecpl 19]

LIZA, you said...".If you are a 100% straight woman and another woman's hand touches you, do you really think it is going to feel all that different than a male hand? or mouth? or vice-versa"

 

If the touch is sexual..yes..I find it repulsive. It does feel different, in a very negative way.

 

 

My point in this discussion is WHY if a 100% str8 person requests that they NOT be touched by the same sex..then why in the F*** can't that other person respect that and keep their hands to themselves or why can't they seem to not be able to keep from trying to Convert that 100% str8 person to THEIR way of thinking. Thats my major beef with all this..RESPECT...why can't Bi people respect str8 peoples wishes and not try to push it on them? I KNOW NOT ALL bi men/women are like this but a lot are. That is what ruins swinging for str8 people. It's those ones out there that refuse to accept that that str8 man or woman is not interested in "trying Bi" with them...they insist on trying to push it on them..I believe that is what Dan meant as well...It's a matter of respect...

 

Connie

 

 

[LIZA 20]

Well my point was a touch is a touch, a mouth is a mouth, etc. Your aversion to bisexuality is in your head, not your body. At least that is my belief.

 

As far as the norm...yes bisexual, bi-curious and bi-open women ARE the norm in swinging. We have been involved going on 5 years and to tell you the truth I don't think we have EVER met a couple where the woman was not bi-open to some degree.

 

Like the previous poster says, his wife is more attracted to men but is with women because it "just works out that way" I think that is FAR more common that 100% straight women who cannot even dance with another woman! I guess it is a little hard for me to "get" because in the realm of consensual, ADULT, HUMAN sexual interaction, there is really nothing I find utterly repulsive or out of the question that I would try

 

As for Dan and his comment comparing bisexuality with Incest??? Are you crazy or just trying extra hard to be offensive? Normally you come across pretty cool but that was an absurd and very sick comment.

 

Incest is a crime with enormous far-reaching emotional, social and sometimes physical consequences. Can you honestly say that you would compare having sex with your own daughter, son, brother, mother, etc. to fondling a strange, adult, non-relative's penis?

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by LIZA:

We have been involved going on 5 years and to tell you the truth I don't think we have EVER met a couple where the woman was not bi-open to some degree.

 

Well...you just met one...

[Stratecpl 19]

liza,

 

Like I've said before, to each their own.

 

You say you enjoy this and that, but you have problems understanding straight people's views?? Is that really what you're saying here?? I mean, are we diseased or something??

 

We few straight people who still live and thrive out here in the real world DO have OUR OWN preferences too. We prefer to be straight. If you love the hands and mouths of other women, then so be it. My wife don't, nor do I enjoy the mouths or hands of other men.

 

You can join the ranks of others who have told us that we have to be BI or not survive. They've all tried and all have failed. We wouldn't dare try to convince YOU to be straight, so don't try to convince US to be BI......

 

You said this:

 

"Like the previous poster says, his wife is more attracted to men but is with women because it "just works out that way" I think that is FAR more common that 100% straight women who cannot even dance with another woman! I guess it is a little hard for me to "get" because in the realm of consensual, ADULT, HUMAN sexual interaction, there is really nothing I find utterly repulsive or out of the question that I would try"

 

That's fine. I really don't care what you guys do or how you go about it, just do it without involving US............

 

It's just a shame that the very few truly straight people involved in this lifestyle have to develop attitudes like this. We didn't start out this way, believe me. Yes Bisexuality is the dominating preference in swinging, but it still doesn't mean that we or any other straight people have to conform in order to enjoy this lifestyle. It's also a damn shame that the typical attitude that we don't belong in the lifestyle is there too-- an attitude like YOU seem to possess.

 

Put yourself in this situation (and it doesn't have to be BI or lifestyle related): How would you feel if you were constantly being told that you had to change the way you think and feel about something you enjoy just because your way was not the NORM (as you say). You all seem to think that this lifestyle involves CHANGING or EVOLVING. If that is true in YOUR circumstance, that is just fine. Ours does not involve CHANGE or EVOLVING. It is only a continuation of doing what we've done all of our lives. Men were intended to pursue and enjoy women, and vice-versa. It's been that way since the dawn of time, you know....

 

I know that most readers out there strongly disagree with our stand on this issue. That's fine, too. We are just one of the last true straight couples left. We like it that way.

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by LIZA:

As for Dan and his comment comparing bisexuality with Incest??? Are you crazy or just trying extra hard to be offensive?

 

No Liza, I didn't say they were one and the same. What I was saying was that for me personally, the thought of engaging in homosexual behavior was as disgusting as thoughts of incest. I wasn't in any way comparing bi and gay people to inbred hillbillies. Go back and read my entire post.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Liza -this is what I said:

 

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:

"Perhaps bi and gay people just can't get it, but let me use an analogy that might help.

 

Try to imagine engaging in incest. Because that's about the same level of disgust as this straight man(emphasis added) has when he thinks of having sex with another man."

 

Got it now?

[LIZA 20]

I read your post Dan. I still think Incest was a very tasteless comparison to bi-activity. You are saying that you personally would just as soon have sex with your mom as a man? That's how the post reads.

[LIZA 20]

Yes there are some couples in swinging who are both straight. We have MET a lot of people, living in L.A. and being active in this at least socially by going to a lot of clubs. I am NOT saying I have had sex with anywhere near the number I have met and know that one or both are Bi. So, at least on the west coast it is pretty unusual to find a adamantly straight couple.

 

To be honest, the three couples who post on here most regularly about their straightness come across as pretty close-minded and homophobic.

I said myself, I do not even identify MYSELF as bi, not in the true sense of the word. But my mind is always open and I can be attracted to both sexes....intellect and humor and excellent teeth being more important to ME than gender.

 

I see FAR more posts from these 3 couples defending your straightness and wondering why the fuck no one will respect it than I do from anyone bi or gay trying to seduce or convert you!

[TNT 1,155]

Stratecpl...I see your point. You have every right to feel the way you do and I hate the fact that you have been burned so often by bi-people, but just remember,not all bi-people are the same. There is nothing wrong with being straight, just as there is nothing wrong with being bi.

 

danc694u...as far as bestiality..it really is not my thing, but if that is what a person gets off on..more power to them...but I would only play with them (if I was attacted to them) if they agreed to forgo that aspect during our play session.

 

Liza...I loved your definitions of bi/gay/straight..pretty much the way I look at it.

 

And Stratecpl..like I said, not all bi-people are the same... this is one bi-couple who can and has played with straight people and never crossed any lines that were drawn and still had a great time. So don't judge all bi-people by the few that were being very disrespectful.

 

This lifestyle should be about openness, acceptance of others and respect for others wishes, as well as change and evolution.

 

Teresa

[Stratecpl 19]

Liza,

 

We come across as homophobic? LOL There's that word again....

 

This forum is not intended to be used as a weapon against anyone. It clearly states in the rules to respect whatever views others have, but feel free to post your own too. Sounds to me like you're calling us homophobes, and closed-minded.

 

Maybe it's YOU who are closed-minded. You say that you don't consider yourself BI?? LOL You're flaming BI, in my opinion.

 

Not to mention that you half-ass read posts, then jump to conclusions concerning what you THOUGHT someone has said. It's people like you who give swinging a bad name.

 

That's all I have to say!!!

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl 19]

I don't consider that little frequently tossed around word homophobic as an insult..I hear it daily. As for being close-minded...so?? It's my preference to be with men only. If that's closed-minded well... not a problem for me. Close-minded it is then. At least I'm not doing something I find distasteful in order to fit in. You're still not seeing it from our angle..you couldn't possibly...our comments on this forum is not where the problem...read our e-mails...follow us around at parties, read the responses we get to our profile... Then you will understand where we are at...maybe?????

 

Connie

[Stratecpl 19]

"This lifestyle should be about openness, acceptance of others and respect for others wishes, as well as change and evolution."

 

I agree with you, concerning acceptance of others and respect for the wishes of others. We've always held those qualities in high regard. Some others don't seem to be very interested in doing the same, however....

 

And NO, we don't judge others by the few either. We take them one at a time. If they blow it, we back up and try again with someone else.

 

But the change and the evolution.... nope, we don't change. We don't have to, it's our choice. Sounds like you and your husband have it pretty much together, and that's good. We really don't enjoy having to defend our beliefs to anyone, because we don't think we've done anything wrong. No two people (or two couples) are quite alike. What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for the other. We are quite happy, we have some very good acquaintances, and some are also BI but they respect our wishes.

 

Unlike SOME who would pounce on you like a cat after a mouse....

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl 19]

Teresa..

 

Thanks for the voice of reason..haha.. No like Ron said we don't judge all bi people by the actions of a few...it's that few though that we get so sick and tired of having to deal with.. we started out in this with a whole different attitude. Believe me. From the very beginning we've had bad experiences with bisexuals. It has made us develop the attitude we have now..if we'd met the respectful couples from the beginning it would be different now....Our very first experience in swinging was bad...it involved a bisexual woman and her husband..we trusted them and communicated with them for months before meeting in person..they knew I was str8...they assured us they understood and would not go there..they lied...she went after me before we even got in the bed good....we have good reason to believe they planned it that way too. They thought "Once I tried it" I'd change my mind...very wrong and I felt very disgusted with the whole thing. Since that was our first encounter it put the defensiveness and caution in me and it's probably always going to be there...Plus having to hear all the time how we are wrong and we would like it if we tried..and you just haven't found the right person yet..and on and on..it's old..very old...

 

Connie

[LIZA 20]

Well if you are being called Homophobic on a daily basis, you MIGHT want to rethink the image you present to the world!

 

As for me, being a "FLAMING" bi, no I don't think so. 13 days out of 14 I am heterosexual in thought, action and sexuality. I live with my husband and I have sex with my husband. Every other weekend or so we venture out to a club and I am likely to have some sexual contact with one or several women...I don't consider myself bisexual as my primary relationship is completely with a man. The other women and men we play with are fun and sexy but their is no emotional connection. So I would call myself openminded, or bi-open, but not truly bisexual. But I don't need to post every other hour about my straightness or bi-ness because I am secure enough not to make it a BIG HUGE ISSUE.

 

For the other couples who post here that they are only 100% straight and are so sick of being approached by bi women...well most women in swinging ARE bi-open so you have to deal with that by either making clear at first you can't accommodate them, or by avoiding clubs altogether and ONLY meet totally straight couples in your home or theirs

[Stratecpl 19]

 

lIZA SAYS:

"For the other couples who post here that they are only 100% straight and are so sick of being approcahed by bi women...........well most women in swinging ARE bi-open so you have to deal with that by either making clear at first you can't accomodate them, or by avoiding clubs altogether and ONLY meet totally straight couples in your home or theirs"

 

Well, now we're getting somewhere finally. That is exactly what we do.

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl 19]

I not concerned about displaying any particular type image to the world. I'm more concerned with standing up for what I believe in. As for open mindedness..I see people lists a dozen things on their profiles sometimes that they won't do. I just don't do kids, animals or women. Everything else I'm open for...why is the elimination of women from my "Do" list have to be that big of a deal? I didn't make it a BIG issue..they did...

 

Connie

[LIZA 20]

It's not a big deal that you won't do women. It only becomes a big deal when you bring it up over and over. I am not attacking you, there are 3 couples I know of on here who make sure we all know they are straight at all times. What I do consider a big deal or at least very offensive is for someone to say how "shameful" it is that there are so few straight people or to say that for them bisexuality is just as repulsive as incest!

 

I have probably had similar experiences in that I/we have turned down couples on the pushy side who wanted a full swap, or were into gang bangs, etc. I explain myself over and over to many people....But that is the FIRST TIME I have ever mentioned it here and have been posting here about 2 years

[TNT 1,155]

Ron and Connie,

 

Man, you two confuse me sometimes..lol.

 

Ok, so you don't change or evolve? Bet you do (smiling here)..change and evolution is a part of natural life..just look back on your relationship when you first started having sex..bet it has changed and evolved in to better things than it was in the begining, I mean look..now your swingers and if that isn't change I don't know what is..but, I understand what you are saying, you don't change what or who you are just to conform to the norm..gotya..when I said change and evolution it was meant in the respect of change and evolution within ones own bounderies..not that ( and god forbid) everyone should become like everyone else..boy that would be boring and I myself like diversity in life, its what makes it interesting.

 

Teresa

[Jem 17]

Hello everyone...I have been lurking here for awhile and this thread finally made me delurk and register just so I could post to it. I am the female half of a couple.

 

Stratecpl---I think one of the reasons that you may be called "homophobic" is because of some of the things you post. Do I think you are homophobic? I don't know, I have never met you in real life. But, for instance, the original question in this thread was "how many couples here engage in bisexual activity and do you enjoy it?" Now, obviously you guys don't. So I wonder why you would even answer the question? The question seemed to be aimed at couples who DO participate in bisexual activity. But you did answer forcefully, saying "we DON'T and AIN'T gonna either!"

 

I think that this kind of vociferous proclaiming of your straightness (and I have seen it on many other of your posts while lurking) is what may make people wonder "hmmm, their ID says they are a STRAIGHT couple, wonder why they have to re-proclaim it so often?"

 

As for people not respecting the fact that you are 100% straight, um, well, there are MANY disrespectful people in this world. Our ad states that we want NO x-rated pix sent to us until we get to know someone. Guess how many people (usually guys, but sometimes women too) send us a cock shot or a pussy shot with the first email? We state clearly upfront that I do NOT have anal sex with anyone but my honey, that we do NOT have intercourse without condoms, that we want to get to know people before hopping in bed...many, many things! And yet we constantly get people sending us letters telling us why we should do it differently for them. We start playing with people who try to push us into doing it differently, etc. I have had people tell me I was "backwards," "not a real swinger," and everything else for my views on these topics, just as you guys have about bi activity. Guess what? These people either never get to meet us, or never meet us again when they are that disrespecful. But I certainly don't look down on all swingers because of their actions.

 

I personally am "group-bi." That is, I like being with women in groups, but I have ZERO interest in being with one one-on-one. Do I consider myself bi in the way that a woman who would be equally happy in a relationship with a man or a woman is bi? Absolutely not...I think there are shades of grey in "bi-ness." I do believe that there are some people who are 100% straight, who have never so much as FANTASIZED about being with someone of the same sex. There are people who are 100% gay, who have never so much as FANTASIZED about being with the opposite sex. In between, there are MANY degress of bi-ness, ranging everywhere from the person who likes to fantasize about the same sex/opposite sex but would never act on it all the way to the person who is equally happy with either sex. And yes, I do think there are more people in this middle groud than at either end point of the spectrum.

 

Yet, I would never tell anyone who was 100% straight or 100% gay that they were wrong for being that way. I think you are the sexuality you are, and nothing wrong with that. While some of the staight couples on here have pretty much said that being bi or gay is wrong by saying things like "men were intended to pursue and enjoy women and vice versa." That pretty much sounds like you are saying that anyone who is not 100% straight is wrong, or at least unnatural! I guess I just don't understand why some of the straight couples on here feel the need to proclaim it so loudly and so often.

 

Oh, ps, I also think there is a DEFINITE double standard in the swinging world for bi-females, versus bi-males, and I don't like that at all, but that is a whole other topic!!

[Jem 17]

In my post above, I forgot to add...to the person who equated bisexuality with incest (I forget who it was)...someone else asked this question and you never answered...do you honestly find the idea of being with another man just as repulsive as the idea of being with your mother? Or your daughter if you have one? If so, I guess that is your right. However, I am willing to bet that while no 100% straight person would really want to be with someone else of the same sex, for most it would still be a whole lot more appealing than sleeping with their mom, dad, or child!!

 

For example, the thought of having anal sex with a hairy, smelly guy who calls me a bitch a lot and has a painfully large cock REALLY grosses me out. But it's certainly not on the level that the thought of having sex with my father or mother or my son grosses me out!!

 

[Stratecpl 19]

Jem...Why do I proclaim it so often? Because this is unfortunately the only place I have to vent about it. The people I mentioned in another post who call me homophobic are the ones who contact us and give us the problems that we talk about...they try to talk us into it, we decline they call us homophobes...Why did I answer the post in the first place..because I have evolved from the person I was a year ago who said each to their own and didn't care what the other guy or girl did (That was before I got into swinging) ok now after a year in this lifestyle...I have evolved... apparently into a homophobe.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by LIZA:

I read your post Dan. I still think Incest was a very tasteless comparison to bi-activity. You are saying that you personally would just as soon have sex with your mom as a man? That's how the post reads.

 

I'm saying imagining each scenario for myself is equally disgusting to me personally. Sorry Liza, I can't explain it any better than that.

 

Dan

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by LIZA:

 

To be honest, the three couples who post on here most regularly about their straightness come across as pretty close-minded and homophobic.

 

LOL. Didn't take long for someone to prove my point about that term being over-used, did it?

 

Dan

 

 

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by Stratecpl:

Liza,

 

We come across as homophobic? LOL There's that word again...

 

 

Well Ron, ole buddy ole pal, I guess the only way we can prove we're not phobes is to take a deep pull on someone's joint. Apparently it's the only litmus test that'll make Liza happy.

 

Sooo, are ya ready to take the plunge together, big guy? Good.

 

Umm, did I mention Yanks first?