Would it be ok to get the wife drunk so she would have sex with others?

[twildbill5 15]

My wife and I are in our 60's. She has never had sex with another man and is some what reluctant to swing.

 

So my question is: do you all think it would be alright to get together with a swinging couple and do some drinking in the hopes that it will give my wife the courage to try another man?

[VegasLee 1,486]

No. Don't think it would be ok at all to do that.

 

If she has to drink to do something she does not want to do she and you are going to regret it later.

 

Swinging is NOT for everyone and you need to respect your wife and her wishes on this one.

[RnLinohio 17]

Dito Everything VegasLee said. As usual he is right on.

 

When and if I decide to drink too much, whether it be in a vanilla club or a swingers club, I only do it with my husband there. The reason for this is that I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt if I start to do anything i wouldn't normally do or that is against my beliefs then my husband will stop me.

 

I have this trust in him and it is a trust that i feel is an important part of our marriage. If I thought that my husband would get me drunk just to do something that I was against in the first place, then I don't know if I would ever be able to trust him again. So no I don't think it would be a good ideal to get her drunk to see if she will change her mind.

[intuition897 2,179]

I'd say one or two drinks during a date night would be okay to relax a bit, but drunkenness is A) dangerous, and B) unattractive. Swinging CAN be done with a clear conscience, no alcohol necessary. If neither you nor your wife believe that that is true, you should both spend quite a bit of time reading up on the board. This board is a veritable gold mine of good advice and information.

 

You say she is "somewhat reluctant" to swing, so I'm guessing you've already discussed it to some extent. Did she express any interest in the idea? Any curiosity? If she did, that's good. One thing you would need to sort out thoroughly before actually doing anything is why you both are interested in it. You'll need to explain your reasons to your wife, how you feel about her, and how you feel about seeing her having sex with another man. If she's anything like me, she'll feel like you're trying to pimp her out. If this is the case, don't let her do anything that makes her feel like a whore...because it's very possible that she will agree to try it regardless of her feelings about it, just to please you. Just a heads up.

 

Please post again and let us know how you brought things up, etc. Welcome to the board!

[sereneiders 263]

I've read other guys asking the same question. "Should I get my wife drunk to enjoy the thrill of watching her being fucked by other guys?"

 

So, I have some other ideas... how about knocking her out with a good punch and then bring the other guy to fuck her?

 

Ok... you'd like to watch her move and take part on the party... since it would be ok the participation someone almost passed out may have in the action, why don't you just gag her and tie her up before bringing the guy?

 

Ok, she may end up blaming on you... what about hiring someone to fake an intrusion into your place? The guy could put a gun over her head to make her perform with a second one in front of your eyes.

 

I know I am being harsh and mean here, and I apologize if this grossed you out, but I want to make a point here: getting someone stoned, drunk or drugged to make her do things she wouldn't otherwise is a RAPE, no matter how fancy the way you want to look at it.

 

So you basically are asking us if it is ok to rape your wife to get her into the lifestyle.

 

The answer is NO. No one in the lifestyle would do that, no one in the lifestyle would participate in such a thing, because we do what we do AFTER knowing for sure that both spouses share the same sort of desires about bringing others to our beds.

 

And the answer is NO, disregarding the lifestyle basic morals we share, because it is wrong.

 

Vegas said you both would regret it. I disagree, she shouldn't regret from doing something after being drunk enough as to give up, after being drunk enough as to forget her own will. The will would be exclusively yours, you'd be the only responsible for that. She would regret the mistake of marrying someone up to do something like this to her. But you may end up regretting it in a court, crushed under her divorce attorney shoe, if not later on from the jail.

 

Sorry for getting so upset, but this is DAMN SERIOUS. Even my other head have more clever thoughts no matter how aroused it is.

 

We are against cheating, but, the damage you may produce to your marriage doing something like this would be way worst than the one you'd produce by cheating on her to fulfill your fantasies. If your wife isn't up to swing and you crave for such an experience so badly, then hire a prostitute, bring a friend, and get over it.

[lovedoctor 15]

You are in your 60's and asking if what you propose would be right?! Are you kidding?

[sereneiders 263]

Sorry... just a second thought about this subject.

 

Do you have daughters? What would you feel if your daughter BF gets her drunk to enjoy sharing her with a buddy, without her previous consent?

 

I bet you'd be to cut his balls off.

 

Or perhaps since you were thinking of doing the same to your wife, you may give him a wink, thumbs up, and then explain to your daughter she have to accept it, keep loving him... and suggest her to give a him another chance for his buddies to USE her at will, taking a couple of drinks if she needs it to ease herself.

 

Can't you see how serious this could be?

[RenoFantasy 15]

Whoa! Sereneiders! Don't you think that was more than just a LITTLE harsh!? Someone asked a question. No need to attack them. Ease up.

 

twildbill5, you were right to ask. Some people find it easier to relax when they've had a few drinks in em. They may be interested, but apprehensive. A little alcohol can loosen up one's inhibitions. That can be okay... to a degree.

 

Talk with your wife. Explain to her your thoughts on the issue. Ask her if this is something she is interested in. If not, drop it. Let her know that it's been dropped, but also that should she change her mind you would like her to feel comfortable enough to bring the subject up at a later time.

 

If she IS interested, she may REQUEST alcohol to help her loosen up. That's okay, but tell her you don't want her to get drunk... then don't LET her get drunk. People do things they might regret when their drunk, but a *little* alcohol can be okay.

 

Whatever you do, don't just set up the stage and get her intoxicated and then think it'll all work out. This could seriously damage your marriage and your wife's psyche.

 

I apologize for the over-the-top post above. Please feel free to ask any questions you have. Hope we hear more from you!

[sereneiders 263]

Reno,

 

You're right, I just read this questions several times, I refrained myself before and this time I wasn't able to. Given the case, I apologize for my own post.

 

Also, I am not against alcohol, my wife also likes to ease herself with a drink... but she knows what she's up to BEFORE taking these drinks, and I know what she is up and wouldn't let her go beyond the limits she expressed when sober.

 

Back to Twildbill,

 

Yes, feel free to ask whatever you want to ask, even when someone may get upset from the implications your questions may have: this is part of a forum.

 

You both have to talk, and it doesn't mean to talk her into this, because even that may be risky for a marriage. This is an example of the consequences of talking someone into swinging.

 

Talk with her but be respectful about her feelings and thoughts. There's nothing granting you a "better understanding" of what would be "best" for both of you and your marriage as to push her into it.

[MarriedNY'ers69 19]

VegasLee said:

No. Don't think it would be ok at all to do that.

 

If she has to drink to do something she does not want to do she and you are going to regret it later.

 

Swinging is NOT for everyone and you need to respect your wife and her wishes on this one.

 

Dito man! I hate meeting couples that have to drink to loosen up enough to have that sort of fun. I found that way to much! big turn-off for us!

[pumpkins1970 17]

Not only no , but FUCK NO . Your blatant lack of respect for your wife is disgusting.

[Swing*8701 887]

When has any action induced by alcohol had a positive result?

 

When I read posts like this it becomes apparent that real life IS just an extension of high school.

[RenoFantasy 15]

Hmmm... the OP's lack of participation on their own thread would lead me to believe that there is a good chance they were a troll. I was initially skeptical about it as the OP, for some odd reason, Felt The Need To Capitalize Each Word In Their Query.

 

I don't believe, however, that this should in any way excuse peoples volatile (and somewhat offensive) responses to the OP's QUESTION. How does anyone know that this is disrespect? The OP gave absolutely no indication of their spouses knowledge of the query. Perhaps they had discussed the matter and she STATED that she would probably only be comfortable enough to go through with it if she had a couple of drinks or was drunk. If THIS is the case, the OP was being responsible by asking those "in the know" what they thought.

 

Telling someone they are disgusting simply for making an inquiry is not befitting a community of people who claim to be "open minded and friendly." Nor are the statements that abrasively assimilate his query to rape-like scenarios (although that poster apologized for their harshness, thank you ).

 

Some people are new to this and are asking for help. It shouldn't matter if they're 18, 30, 45, 60 or 1000 years old, they're treading in scary waters and don't need a hostile reaction. I'd like to SUGGEST trying a different approach. Look at these questions as if they were coming from your son, daughter, grandson or granddaughter. Would you jump down THEIR throat for asking you such questions, or would you try to help them?

 

And for the record, when I suggested that alcohol can help to "loosen you up", I didn't mean drunkenness in any form. A drink or two on a well fed stomach should MORE than suffice to help ease tension without compromising ones ability to reason.

[girlsnboys 15]

I'm a bit new here but I think you know your wife pretty well. Do you think she could handle dinner and some wine with an experimental couple? Because if you respect her, listen to her, and not get her completely schnockered she'll most likely give you an indication of how receptive she is to the prospect. Or you could casually bring it up in conversation just the two of you, during a hot movie -- (not suggesting porn if she's not into that), but some movies can tread the line quite well. but consider too why you would want this for her, because you may want open pandora's box slowly...

[sereneiders 263]

RenoFantasy said:

Telling someone they are disgusting simply for making an inquiry is not befitting a community of people who claim to be "open minded and friendly." Nor are the statements that abrasively assimilate his query to rape-like scenarios (although that poster apologized for their harshness, thank you ).

 

I apologized because the way I put my thoughts doesn't fit the standards for this forum community of users.

 

I still believe that getting someone drunk to overpower his/her will is something low, and moreover, if the purpose is to overpower him/her to make he/she engage in a sexual intercourse, this IS a rape.

 

It is true that we choose scenarios where to figure out the outcome for some behavior. I imagine a woman who was made to drink TO get her drunk TO be fucked by someone, and I am sure she have a solid case to sue them for rape in a court, almost in any court from all around the world. Moreover, I find difficult to find out an scenario where this woman wouldn't be entitled to sue.

 

I didn't told he's disgusting, I said his idea is disgusting, and to make a point of it, I put the same idea in several scenarios where it becomes evident how disgusting it is.

 

RenoFantasy said:

Some people are new to this and are asking for help. It shouldn't matter if they're 18, 30, 45, 60 or 1000 years old, they're treading in scary waters and don't need a hostile reaction. I'd like to SUGGEST trying a different approach. Look at these questions as if they were coming from your son, daughter, grandson or granddaughter. Would you jump down THEIR throat for asking you such questions, or would you try to help them?

 

Well, I'd probably be even more sarcastic when face to face with any relative if he/she were asking the same question AFTER GIVING THE SAME CONTEXT. To emphasize something is a way to make him face the consequences for such an idea, and it doesn't mean you wouldn't help some other way.

 

But, take a look at THE CONTEXT GIVEN. He said he already talk with her wife and that she is RELUCTANT TO THE IDEA. There's no more help to provide able to turn them into swingers, she already said NO. So, he's asking for a way to turn the tables and make her swing and "understand" she's wrong about this.

 

He could be also asking for other ways to convince her, BUT HE DIDN'T. And given this context, our answer would be "if she said NO, then give up and get over it".

 

I am concerned about how some people may find out a way to understand the advice they get from here biased to their own interests. I posted a link to Tempest thread, where she told us she regret swinging even AFTER following our advice, and if you read it, you'd notice they made a biased interpretation of our advice because they were trying to overcome an issue inside their marriages. So by now I wonder if answering this question by telling politely "this WOULD NOT be a good idea" entitles someone to say "well, if it WOULD NOT, then it COULD BE a good idea anyway". In THIS CASE, I don't want anyone to make a free interpretation, and I prefer to point out that not only "this IS NOT a good idea", "this IS THE WORST idea", no matter the way you look at it.

[Spoomonkey 420]

Nothing to add here...  If you are really serious about getting a woman who has been faithful to you for obviously a very long time drunk so that you can induce her to do something she may regret for the rest of her life...

 

Lots of good (some scathing) advice given...

 

No - we do not condone date rape here...