What is the monetary cost of swinging for you?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

This thread has really got me thinking about a big change we made in our life.

 

I'll preface my answers by sharing a story that is both funny and poignant to me and Mr LM.

 

We have always been penny pinchers, especially so during the first five years of our marriage because within a year after we married we started our own business. It took a $2000 loan for start up so you know how low we were on money back then. But our business is still going strong today after 30 years.

 

Anyway, back then Mr LM and I always went to McDonalds 2-3 times a week for a cheap lunch (other days we brought our lunch to work). He'd order the basic cheeseburger and fries which totaled about $2 bucks. He'd ask me what I wanted and I'd always say I wasn't hungry, "I'll just have a bite of yours." It wasn't until many years later, after business was going strong and money wasn't so tight that I admitted to Mr LM that I didn't order lunch because I knew it would mean $20 more bucks saved that month.

 

Fast forward...

 

When we reached our fifties we decided we'd been saving diligently for long enough and it was time we spent money on some fun for ourselves before we were too old to have fun anymore.

 

We have spent more money on swinging related activities than we've ever spent our whole married life on social expenses...but keep in mind we've never been travelers and hardly ever went out for a night on the town before we began swinging. And neither of us have expensive hobbies.

 

I don't pay much attention to what we spend on swinging. I'd have to sit down and do some calculating to give you an answer, Tybee. We still are reasonable spenders and never spend money we don't have. We've been to 5or 6 Swingers Board Meet Ups and we hope to attend one each year. Our swinging is done locally, for the most part, and so that keeps our costs low.

 

LM

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

This has kind of become a discussion for us as well... as we've recently starting trying to actually budget (something somewhat new to both of us) as we realized we make too much to not be putting more than we are into savings. We are debt free except for the house which helps a lot and it's not a matter of not having enough to do what we want it's just a matter of knowing that we want to have a little more to show for it down the road.

 

We have a couple of socials nearby that meet maybe once a month. The one we typically go to had a $10 cover fee and then we end up buying drinks. In the past we haven't spent a lot on drinks at this club because they only serve beer and wine coolers (of which I don't really drink either and my pet doesn't drink much more). The group also occasionally does a dinner & dancing night which we try to go to. Neither of these events cost us any more than any other weekend night out might cost us.

 

Where we run into costs is that in the end we'd prefer to go to Nashville and go to Menages which is 2 hours away and thus requires a hotel stay. I'm picky about my hotels AND we like to stay fairly close to the club so we can take a taxi back and forth rather than worrying about driving. So the cost for a one night club visit....

Hotel Room: $120-150

Club Fee: $55

Drinks (byob): $30 (bottle of Jack and a bottle of Tequila)

Dinner: $30

Breakfast: $20

---------

Total: $250-$300

 

This is a minimum if we were to only go up Saturday afternoon, have dinner, go to the club, eat breakfast and go home.

 

That said we don't do it often, maybe once ever couple of months. Typically, we go up early on Saturday and add lunch to that, do some shopping on Saturday and maybe some more on Sunday before heading home. In the end, even if we didn't go to Menages, I need to get away from home for a weekend at least once every couple of months so we'd still go to Nashville and if it wasn't Menages it would be a vanilla club or something else and we'd probably still spend just as much.

 

Luckily, we don't have kids so if we did actually meet a couple locally that we wanted to play with we could easily bring them back home with us without a problem. I can't imagine having to spend money on a hotel to swing locally with a couple.

[Tybee Swing 286]

Very interesting answers, so far! I figured that a lot of people wouldn't quite know what swinging costs them without giving it some thought.

 

Our out-of-town trips are exactly as Julie described, including the breakdown of costs to do that. Our trip for that is also about 2 hours' drive. If we went to Atlanta, it would be about a 4.5 hour drive. (Don't forget to factor in gas money for the budget) In town, it's the dining, and getting a room here in town. Everybody we play with has kids living at home. Playing in town, we bring a cooler of drinks for the hotel, sometimes snacks, etc. These in-town nights easily cost over $100 per couple.

 

So far in this thread, it sounds like swinging costs about $100 per month to about $300 per month, for those of you who volunteered that info.

 

Anybody here swing exclusively at your home or at others' homes? What does swinging cost you?

[ncmd_couple 597]

We like to travel and we like to go out. My first impression of going to an on-premise club was that it was expensive. But really when you think about it, it isn't. If we go to the Cottage or the Farm we always spend the night there. So when you compare it to getting a hotel in another town and going out for dinner and drinks, it is really cheaper to go to one of the swing clubs for the night. Besides, if we go to Ocean City or Virginia Beach or somewhere we can't get naked and play!

[Tybee Swing 286]

The way we see it, swinging is a wash. If we were not out at a swingers' club or out with a swinging couple, we would be out having dinner at an often-even-more-expensive restaurant or theater.

 

In our case, our own "dating" each other time isn't swapped out with the swinging/socializing. We still spend time dating each other, regardless of swinging. In our minds, it works this way: dating each other - necessity. Dating other people - optional.

 

So, at times we're doing both, we'll spend the money on the two of us a couple of times a month and spend it on swinging on the other weekends. If we're not swinging, we still go out a couple of times a month. Since it's just us, we can adapt the cost of what we'll be doing according to how it suits our budget that week (not so much with swinging). On our own, we can just chill/hang out at home or do something free or cheap (like riding our bike, walking on the beach, rent a movie on the DVR for $4, etc.)

 

With each other, the sex is always good, there's no drama, and it's always free. When you're really looking at the budget, this plays into it.

[des1re06 200]

Ugh, you reminded me I need to make an appointment with our accountant.

 

We've never really sat down an analyzed it, but I know it's around $700 per month, not counting trips to Mexico (Desire was $3,000) and Florida (Caliente was $1,500 for a long weekend) and New Orleans ($1,500).

 

We just got our camper this month, so that may go down next year.

 

We're not really concerned about the cost, as travel was something we've always done. Now it's just more fun!

 

I'm looking into becoming a travel agent part-time next month, so I can write it off.

 

Mrs. D

[havefuninsun 122]

Tybee -- very interesting question.

 

We're about to go through our 2008 budget as well. One of the things that came out of the exercise in 2007 was that we decided we needed to add "libations" to our budget each month. We enjoy wine, and I couldn't figure out why our food budget was so outrageous! Well -- pick up a bottle of wine every other night and it becomes clear. So, we set a budget and started buying the wine by the case so we could get a discount.

 

I, too, LOVE a good bargin

 

We don't play that often, so we can put our swinging activities into the entertainment line item and get away with it. Although, we probably need to look at that line item, too ... we eat out way too much.

 

Not to hijack the thread, but a question for desire -- how was Caliente? We've been talking about going for a while now ... almost made a stop there last summer while traveling between Key West and New Orleans ...

[des1re06 200]

how was Caliente?

 

I'm giving my honest opinion here - overpriced.

 

It's a beautiful resort, but nothing, and I mean nothing is allowed to be taken into the common area. Call and ask ahead of your visit. Hubby seems to recall you're not supposed to even take groceries or liquor beyond the gate. You have to buy everything there, even bottled water. There is a guard at the gate (only 1 way in) and your bags are inspected.

 

We went on a "half-price" weekend to check it out, and it was still $1,500 for 3 days.

 

Once you pass the lobby area, you are required to be nude. Not a problem for us, but maybe for others.

 

It is a family resort. There were young children there.

 

Back to the point of the thread, sorry Tybee.

 

 

Mrs. D

[Alura 2,774]

We've never spent much money on swinging. The Meet Ups we host are on the same weekend as another party we've hosted for twenty years or so, so the costs of Tulsa Meet Ups are the cost of dinner out.

 

We have gone to Meet Ups in Nashville, Dallas, Dayton, and Indianapolis. Dallas was also a business trip, though, so we could write it off.

 

We've always played locally with one couple at a time, never gone to clubs (with the exception of Menages at the Nashville Meet Up), never been a member of an on-line introduction service, and don't drink much.

 

We meet a prospective couple the first time at a local bookstore coffee shop to talk. A couple of times we've gone from there to one of our homes to play but usually there has been a second meeting for dinner, sometimes in a restaurant, sometimes at one of our homes. Since our sons are teens, we haven't played at our home for a long time, and won't unless they're away for some reason.

 

We're definitely "cheap dates."

 

Mr. Alura

[Tybee Swing 286]

My first impression of going to an on-premise club was that it was expensive. But really when you think about it, it isn't. If we go to the Cottage or the Farm we always spend the night there. So when you compare it to getting a hotel in another town and going out for dinner and drinks, it is really cheaper to go to one of the swing clubs for the night.

 

We've been to clubs in our state and surrounding states, and we've never heard of a club that lets you spend the night. This is why we have to get a hotel room if we travel to clubs. Count yourself very lucky to have that option!

[Tybee Swing 286]

We've never really sat down an analyzed it, but I know it's around $700 per month, not counting trips to Mexico (Desire was $3,000) and Florida (Caliente was $1,500 for a long weekend) and New Orleans ($1,500).

 

Wow...we'd have to get second jobs to swing in this style...and then we'd be working so much to make the money, we'd be too tired to have sex.

[Tybee Swing 286]

We've always played locally with one couple at a time, never gone to clubs (with the exception of Menages at the Nashville Meet Up), never been a member of an on-line introduction service...

 

Aluras, without attending clubs or having a profile online, how do you meet people in the Lifestyle to get together with?

[Tybee Swing 286]

Yes it does just depending on the time of year, what kind of year we're having and how much the kids are costing us

 

Us, too! Family is a big factor. We've got one in college, and sadly, another one (Mr. Tybee's oldest) just beginning to go through a divorce. The other one is getting married in 2008. Cha-ching! $$$$$$

[TNT 1,155]

Well I don't know what this "budget" thing is that ya'll are talking about but, it sounds interesting ( Ted, the kids and my whole family say I'm so tight with money that I squeak)

 

When we first started full time into swinging we spent a LOT...easily 600+ a month. We'd travel two hours to a club spending the weekend away (entrance fees, drinks, food, rooms, gas, etc.) about every other weekend for probably two years or more.

 

We've also spent lots of money on conventions and travel to resorts.

 

When we started going to local socials and meeting more people who lived close to us, the cost went down to probably half that or less.

 

Now, we've gotten to know so many people that house parties are where we do most of our swinging. We do still get the occasional room when needed as well as dinner out with new people but we don't spend nearly as much as we used to. I'd say this past year we might have spent maybe a total of 1000 bucks on swinging, and that includes attending a SB Meet-Up.

 

We never worried about how much we were spending. As long as the bills were paid, the kids had everything they needed/wanted and money was going into savings, if we had it, we spent it on what made us happy.

 

We've always looked at it as an investment in us and that's priceless.

 

 

Teresa

[des1re06 200]

we'd have to get second jobs to swing in this style...and then we'd be working so much to make the money, we'd be too tired to have sex

 

 

I'm counting in all the goodies: clothes, shoes, toys, batteries, gas to get there, food, club membership fees, liquor...

 

All our play is out of town, except our house parties.

 

When we first started full time into swinging we spent a LOT...easily 600+ a month. We'd travel two hours to a club spending the weekend away (entrance fees, drinks, food, rooms, gas, etc.) about every other weekend for probably two years or more.

 

Yup, we're in this category right now.

[suite91 15]

Anybody here swing exclusively at your home or at others' homes? What does swinging cost you?

 

We fall into this category and, until this thread got me thinking, I would have said that our swinging costs are nil. Most of our swinging is with a few 'regulars' and friends. We go to their place or they come to ours, depending on kids etc. J was a bartender and she got lots of attention that would sometimes lead to some after work fun.

 

Sounds free right? Right until I factored in our hot tub. I would call it our #1 swinging accessory, . When I calculated initial costs (tub, electrical, new deck), chemicals, electricity and maintenance it came to about $200 - $250 a month! We do get a lot of enjoyment from it when it's just us so discount for that, but the main reason we got the tub is that two of the couples we swing with regularly have one and we found it to be a great way to get together. Get some naked, like minded people in close proximity and things get heated quickly.

[Alura 2,774]

Aluras, without attending clubs or having a profile online, how do you meet people in the Lifestyle to get together with?

 

Well, Tybee, we haven't played with very many. But to answer your question, our meetings have come about just by keeping our eyes and minds open for couples who might be "like-minded."

 

It all started in Germany when we met a couple in a restaurant and went to their apartment. I think they were somewhat experienced but don't know for sure.

 

We played a game they knew called, "Rain," which amounted to being naked and each person having a turn being touched by the other three at the same time. Since this was our second date, Mrs. Alura and I weren't comfortable enough to play.

 

On the way home, though, we discussed the concept at length and admitted we both wanted to but wanted to talk first. We never saw that couple again, but I believe that event started started us looking for the "right couple."

 

We met our first play-couple in line waiting for a table in a restaurant. We got to talking and shared a table "to help with the long line." We talked for a long time and, just before asking for the checks, asked the question, "How do y'all feel about swinging?" We weren't sure we'd ever see them again, so what was to lose? It turned out they'd discussed the idea so we discussed it some more...

 

We ran an ad in a local swingers' newsletter, and met a couple who had been married twenty years. Neither had ever had sex with anyone other than each other. They adapted readily! We played with them for several years.

 

One weekend a man I've been friends with since 1973 in Germany and his wife visited for a weekend. We got in the spa for awhile then asked, "How do y'all feel...? Swim suits came off and...

 

One day I was writing an order at a local adult book and sex toy store that carried my line of motorcycle clothing. During a time when the buyer was busy with another matter, I was reading the "Swingers' Bulletin Board." A man came up and started reading, too. He pointed to a 3X5 card and said, "That's our ad." I read it and asked if he'd like to go across the street for coffee. We made plans for dinner with our wives. We played regularly for several years.

 

We met a couple at a motorcycle event, chatted for awhile and asked, "How do y'all feel about swinging?"

 

One night at a cultural event, we chatted with an attractive couple during intermission, decided to go for drinks afterward, talked a lot, asked our question, talked some more, switched partners for the ride home (so nobody would get lost) and...

 

At a traffic light, Mrs. Playmate and I could see (through the back window of his pickup truck) Mrs. Alura and Mr. Playmate making out ahead of us. We did the same. At the next traffic light, Mrs. Alura was nowhere in sight. We thought things were going well...

 

So you see, we've been "going with the flow" the whole time. How will we meet our next playcouple? Who knows? But we're looking forward to it! We've recently decided to try a bit harder.

 

Mr. Alura

[Tybee Swing 286]

Thanks for that history, Mr. Alura. We've never met up with anybody for swinging that we didn't meet in a swinger's club/social, or through an adult website. Maybe there have been opportunities around us that we just never identified...or maybe we haven't been that lucky?

 

So, you two usually end up playing at people's houses?

[Alura 2,774]

Thanks for that history, Mr. Alura. We've never met up with anybody for swinging that we didn't meet in a swinger's club/social, or through an adult website. Maybe there have been opportunities around us that we just never identified...or maybe we haven't been that lucky?

 

I think one makes his own luck, Tybee. In our case, we've just taken advantage of opportunities. Usually, as you can see, we've asked our question of folks we just met and may never see again. The exception, of course, was my long-term friend whom I knew wouldn't be so offended as to end the friendship. I also knew he was a horny guy!

 

I think the way the question is phrased is important, too. "How do y'all (Yankees may feel free to say, 'You Guys.' ) feel about swinging?"

 

It's important that it can't be answered with "yes" or "no." We're not looking for a commitment, just conversation.

 

It's not the first question we ask. By the time it comes around, we've already asked, "How do y'all feel about ballet... The Eagles... motorcycling... bison meat... classical music... Stephanie Plum... jealousy..." They're used to the question; only the subject is new.

 

It is not threatening, and asks for an opinion, not sex. Most people have answered, "Well, we've thought about it..." and the conversation proceeds.

 

Nobody has ever indignantly said, "Well, I'd never!!! Are you asking us to swap wives???" If they did, we'd simply say, "Oh, no! We saw a show on Oprah one time and discussed it. I think it's a bit adventurous for us... well, who knows... anyway... I was just trying to make the conversation interesting. Have y'all read the Harry Potter books? We like to take books-on-tape on vacation ..."

 

So, you two usually end up playing at people's houses?

 

Most folks our age, unlike ourselves, don't have children at home, so it's just worked out that way. One of our playcouples did have a son, about eleven. On nights we were coming to visit, he'd spend the night with a friend in the neighborhood. They had a really cool water bed with a mirror-canopy. We spent some weekends with a couple at their lake house. That was fun! It was also before we had kids.

 

We've always liked playing at our own house. We love to entertain. We can make use of the spa, the pool, the guest bedroom, the fireplace, the king-size waterbed... We've even had friends come over in the morning when our kids were in school, but not all couples can do that.

 

I hope that answers your questions (and maybe sparks some creative ideas). Personally, I think it's a lot more fun than meeting someone at a club, having sex, and going home.

 

Mr. Alura

[Tybee Swing 286]

It's not the first question we ask. By the time it comes around, we've already asked, "How do y'all feel about ballet... The Eagles... motorcycling... bison meat... classical music... Stephanie Plum... jealousy..." They're used to the question; only the subject is new.

 

It is not threatening, and asks for an opinion, not sex. Most people have answered, "Well, we've thought about it..." and the conversation proceeds.

 

Very smooth! We need to take lessons from you guys. Y'all.

[WesternSwing 504]

I keep all our finances in Microsoft Money, so I ran a quick report. With all our membership dues at clubs, bar tabs, dinners out, buying dinners for the kids before we go out, etc., we've spent just a hair over $1,300 in the past 3 months on swinging. But, in the three months prior to that we only spent about $300. So it goes in waves of how active we are with swinging. But damn, looking at it that way it's a very expensive hobby.

 

Mr. WS

[VanHlebar 187]

MrsVan and I haven't been very active since our return back from Hedo back in March. I had been off work for a number of months and finally returned to the work force back in June. Then life just seemed to get in the way and then after all that, Mom moved in with us back in September.

 

When we where going out regularly we would goto one of the 3 clubs that are local to us, or travel to Columbus and goto one of the clubs up there. I think we would spend maybe $100-200 per month when we where active. This year was a bit more expensive I guess because MrsVan didn't have any good club clothes and well we did goto Hedo.

 

Looking ahead to 2008 I don't think our cost will be any more than the $100-200 per month. We will have a few months that will be more, when we go out of town and some months less if we just aren't active.

 

Once Mom moves out in February or March, we will again be able to host in our own home and that makes things even cheaper. We try to only go out either to vanilla bars or to swing clubs on the weekends that we don't have our children. So we usually have two free weekends per month and then two weekends that we spend as family time.

 

We typically have in the past met folks via SLS or Swapper. A few months prior to going to Hedo we had started attending clubs more frequently because we had gotten tired of the "dating" and really like the idea of meeting folks at the club.

 

Now I must say that MrAlura has me thinking about other situations and well I think I just might have to steal his line. I can think of two occasions that I wish we had used it. One we documented here recently about a blonde that MrsVan and I had met at a local club and then another that happened just last night while we where out. Guess I am going to have to fine tune that approach.

 

-Van

[LFM2 1,482]

Hey there! You know, I never thought about this money thing until you said something. We don't have a budget per se, but we do put money in savings, pay our bills and spend what's left over on foolish stuff like groceries and kids college stuff and high school stuff.

 

We don't play that often, and when we go on that first date, we usually have dinner. It doesn't have be fancy, but we like a nice place with nice wine.

 

Gas and dinners included might be about $600 total for the year. If we play with that same couple again, we usually just meet at their house and party from there bringing wine and snacks.

 

We go to a semi-annual party twice a year which we spend $$ on a nice hotel room with dinner and gas that weekend will probably run us about $400 easy including admission in and drinks.

[Alura 2,774]

Now I must say that MrAlura has me thinking about other situations and well I think I just might have to steal his line. I can think of two occasions that I wish we had used it. One we documented here recently about a blonde that MrsVan and I had met at a local club and then another that happened just last night while we where out. Guess I am going to have to fine tune that approach.

 

-Van

 

I think the key, Van, is to ask the question of people you probably won't meet again. We've had some times when the question didn't lead to play, but we haven't had any where the folks got angry that we asked. Most, even if they weren't up for it, felt complimented.

 

Like anything else, practice makes perfect. Practice by asking folks (You can start with each other.) "how they feel" about any vanilla subject, health care, opera, country music, rodeo... there's a whole world out there.

 

It really amounts to developing communication skills, which is just as important in swinging as in marriage, in my opinion.

 

Again, never ask a question that can be answered with "yes" or "no."

 

Mr. Alura

[Tia Vampire 167]

$50 to $100 a month. We only swing once or twice a month. $30 for the donation and $20 for the drink. Depending on our moods and schedules, we may only swing every other month. Sometimes once in a three month period.

[swingcouple69 25]

We do try to make a trip to the club of our choice (actually the only one that we've been to) about every 2 months and its about $150 for that night. However, we do have 2 close couples that we go out with regulary, about every 2 weeks. By the time we pay the babysitter (the sitter normally keeps both sets of kiddos luckily), snacks and pizza for the kids and sitter, dinner for us and drinks, it hits us about the same price range. We have actually done some budget searching as well and are going to cut back to once a month. Whether it be a club or going out. We love having fun and going out but we've got 3 kiddos to put through college soon and one wants to be a D.O. Of curse family first! But Mom and Dad need some fun too to help retain their sanity! Hope this helps some!

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

At first, we had the same worries about the fiscal reprocussions of the lifestyle. We like to restrict our play to one of the on-premise clubs in our area... just keeps our lives less complicated. The initial cost was a flat $150 with $50 in dues per year, plus party costs (which are substantial).

 

The key for us was in volunteering to help close the club down at the end of every other party we attend. Our haunt gives you the party free if you close, plus the next one you attend Net cost to us: $50 per year, plus $150 amortized Now if you count volunteer time at our hourly salary equivalent, much higher... but we get to meet so many more people closing that hours are kind of a wash.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Good thread!

 

When thinking about the costs of swinging, I'm thinking about costs that we wouldn't have otherwise. For instance, a dress that I can wear to a vanilla event is not a swinging expense, even if I wear it to a lifestyle party. I tend to dress a bit more modestly than the majority of women at the parties, because I feel comfortable with a little more coverage... either that or nothing at all. (That, and I'm cheap.) I have only bought a few things that I wouldn't otherwise have, or couldn't wear in vanilla life -- a few pieces of lingerie is probably it.

 

I haven't noticed anyone including the cost of swinger site membership. We pay a certain amount for SLS; I think it's something like $50 for three months.

 

We have only been to one club party, because our closest club is about an hour and a half away and expensive: $100 for a years' membership, then $50 for the party, around $70 for the room, more for drinks, more for clothes, dinner, breakfast... we had fun at the one we went to, but not enough fun to spend that much. (Aside: would someone please start a swinger's club in Hampton Roads, Virginia???)

 

Our main expense that's attributable to swinging, that we wouldn't have otherwise, is going out to dinner with new couples on first dates. If we spend around $70 - $80 on dinner once every month or so, when we might have stayed home otherwise, that adds up. But lately we've been going to a few more house parties and meet-and-greets, so that makes it more cost-effective.

 

We have been lucky, in that most of our playing has been with longer-term playmates. We don't have kids and they don't either (or they are grown), so we play at our house or theirs. If it were a lot more expensive, I'm not sure we'd do it very much.

 

We have only gotten a hotel twice that was just for play. We've done so when we were traveling with friends who were also playmates, but traveling is fun in and of itself. Is it a swinging expense? Maybe partially. But we also split expenses, because we go in one car, share one room, etc.

 

I'd just like to add that while we spend a lot more on going out now than we used to, we also enjoy ourselves more and have a better social life.

[MadamSapphire81 15]

i don't spend much money on all those aspects you mentioned. then again i am a single female. but i have a question for you

with all that "grooming" that you mentioned, do you think anyone is really paying attention to it? maybe i worded that wrong. getting your hair done and all that expensive waxing and yadda yadda after the act is done, we don't look all that great anymore except for that glow that we put on after having a night/session of intense love making or swinging. keep it simple. visit each other's houses. bring your own snacks that can be used for other places other than your mouths.

swinging should not be a financial burdon on your life. it is to help eliviate the stress! swing on!

[Hott Times 70]

Great thread and answers! It has gotten us thinking too.

When we first started in the LS, we made a conscious decision to go outside our local area because of fear of our jobs. So we go to Nashville to Menages every few months but have to get a hotel room, gas, meals etc. which can run $250-300 a visit for all expenses. We also have gone to Playcate in Myrtle Beach for 4 days and to Desires for 4 days with an extra 2 days added on for usual tourist. That can run up the $ but we have found out that it is easier to budget for as the costs are included in the whole package upfront. When we have traveled elsewhere with our children we tend to go over our budget as there are no fixed costs and the cost is about the same per day we have found out. We have spent some time in Europe but have not gone there lately due to the low US dollar.

When we first started also my wife was motivated to lose some weight and had to buy some new clothes. Clothes for work and some "sexy play" clothes that was about $500-600 worth the first year. However I never complained because it drastically improved her health and energy, besides I loved giving my opinion on her sexy new tops, lingerie, etc. And she looked hot! Since then the clothes budget has dropped significantly.

Only lately have we started meeting local couples so can not give a comment on that cost but would expect it to be much lower than traveling to a club or visit friends outside the local area.

We had decided when we started this to be more cautious and discrete due to our jobs and nearby family, and not worry as much as the cost. Like most "hobbies" the first year was expenseive- about $6-7000 but as time as passed the cost has done down drastically.

[WesternSwing 504]

I haven't noticed anyone including the cost of swinger site membership. We pay a certain amount for SLS; I think it's something like $50 for three months.

I didn't because we have lifetime memberships to Swingular and Swappernet that were paid for years ago so have no effect on our current budget, and at SLS we are on their affiliate program so we haven't had to pay for our membership for over a year now. Though right now we are free members because they don't seem to be able to get their affiliate program right and none of our affiliate dollars earned are being applied to our membership like was set-up to do. I'm working on it with them, but the progress has been slow getting this resolved.

[carrysmith 57]

here in miami we have noticed alot of swingers doing small get togethers at home casue it can get very expensive to swing down here, on a good sat.nite when we add it all up, we have spent from $200 to$450, we have spent all the way to $900 for newyears eve..we know of couples that only attend the club once a month casue of the high costs and hard times.

[bendmeovernow 17]

i love the idea of a one bd place for my playtime.... and yes.. you do have the pricier hotels. heheheh but hey... sometimes that all that's around i guess.. we don't really spend anything going out.. we go to our home club and stay the night... and just end up paying for a small bottle of alcohol to drink that night and that's about it. it's the only way we can swing for now i guess... now with the clubs... you can most of the time here ask the hosts if they need help... bartend... or do house tours... and get in for free.. it's how we even get to go to the club... cus they are friends and after the frist few months we didn't have to pay anymore. we just help out when they need it and get to play later in the night when all is settled down and all. we know others that say hey.. i'll do this till midnight.. and they don't have to pay.. cus the club doesn't have to pay someone to come in and do this or do it themselves. now if you don't have clubs near you... and that's not an option.. i'd see who's willing to go with the shareing a 'play' space that's for sure. i love that idea.

[quietlykinky 40]

The cost is why we like having a local club where our only expense is a 6 pack, and club fees. If we meet a couple or single, the club has rooms so no hotel.

 

The only thing we have here that is anything like this is three hours away, in another state, and only has get-togethers once a month or so.

 

God we need to move.

[CXXC 435]

Ok. I had to wait to answer this question with any amount of accuracy. As the year end is upon us, I am now able to.

 

If you factor in our lifestyle Vacations (domestically and abroad), drinks/dinners (both out and at our home), Travel to be with distant LS friends in other States, Trips to our favorite club, Various purchases for clothing/shoes (they have a depreciable value) condoms, toys, lubes, Membership fees, Solo adventures in Vanilla clubs (when successful), and gifts for the host/hostess when attending house parties, I am truly embarrassed to admit the cost.

 

I would not dare to include the man hours we have both spent in pursuit of our lifestyle desires based upon our annual income as that would raise the cost even more. Then again, one must determine what one's time is worth.

 

I would have to say, the cost for our lifestyle hobby is almost equal to our diving hobby! One of them might have to go this year! Hmmmm... Anyone want to buy a set of dive tanks????

[Guest warrencouple]

I would have to say, the cost for our lifestyle hobby is almost equal to our diving hobby! One of them might have to go this year! Hmmmm... Anyone want to buy a set of dive tanks????

 

Depends, are the tanks in good shape, and will you throw in regulator / gauges or computers?

 

One of these days, I need to get the wife into SCUBA, and refresh my certification (PADI Advanced Open Water)

 

Jason

(who's not answering this poll, as thus far, we've not spent much $$$ on something we're not entirely sure we're going to continue doing)

[CXXC 435]

Depends, are the tanks in good shape, and will you throw in regulator / gauges or computers?

 

One of these days, I need to get the wife into SCUBA, and refresh my certification (PADI Advanced Open Water)

 

Jason

(who's not answering this poll, as thus far, we've not spent much $$$ on something we're not entirely sure we're going to continue doing)

 

LOL!! Lets just say, we have our certification for cave, wreck, Nitrox, Heli-ox, oh, and advanced open water. All of the associated equipment to go with it! Toss in a customed semi-dry suit for MRs. CXXC and The bidding will commence NOW!

 

We love diving!

 

Actually, now that I think about it, OK! We spend more on diving! Whew! Thank goodness! I thought I was going to have to stop!

[couplers 4,639]

Right now for the four of us in our poly situation, the cost is zero. Maybe a couple dollars a month for gas to go the mile or two to Red place or Clair's place from ours.

 

 

But before Clair became our permanent gf, when I was trying to recruit girls for hubby and we were dating them, it was hundreds if not thousands some months. As I said elsewhere, we never pushed it or said anything about expectaions, only made opportunities for her to express her interest if she had one. We would, however, take our date to out-of-town concerts, the theater, go to nice restaurants, pay for her own hotel room, etc. The ones we really clicked with we would take on vacation with us totally at our expense. It was something we all enjoyed. Since all but several of those didn't go anywhere sexually (except in my mind), maybe it shouldn't even be considered swinging expenses.

[sextoyfancy 15]

If you're spending about $350.

[VegasLee 1,486]

If you're spending about $350.

 

Does that mean you are charging?

[olderyder 15]

We finally got the costs down where they belong, at almost $0. All it took was being free members on a few sites, which based on the response we ever got from them is about the right price. We don't go to clubs or meet and greets, so no cost for booze, gas, eats, or admission fees. I stopped going to house parties, so the Mrs gets in free (she was the only one getting laid anyway). At house parties, someone is always willing to provide the Mrs with drinks (so no booze costs), She doesn't need to buy new clothes (why buy something new just to take it off). She only goes to local house parties, so there is usually plenty of gas in the car already. Thus, our costs for swinging= $0.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

It can range wildly over the course of a year from inexpensive to somewhat expensive for us.

 

• Swing sites - some lifetime, some periods of paying on a site to see if we like it
  
• Party admission
  
• Beverages and mixers - I like good scotch and she has a particular liqueur she likes that is not inexpensive
  
• Pampering- I encourage my wife to pamper herself before we go to socials, facials, manicure, pedicure etc.
  
• New sexy outfits now and then - I love it when she feels sexy
  
• Baby sitters -- particularly if we can find over night sitters (they are real expensive)
  
• Dinner and drinks when meet a couple one on one
  
• Supplies - toys, condoms, lotions, oils, etc
  
• Hotel - we don't like cheap motels
  
• Gifts - wine for a house party, maybe a toy now and then for a favorite playmate
  

 

Now we don't do all of these every time we swing, and others we would be spending even if we were not swinging, but if we attribute those that are related to a swing event to swinging and add those specifically related to swinging the cost can be relatively high over a years period.

 

A social weekend can run several hundred when add it all up. And a one on one couple meet can be pretty inexpensive. So it varies.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

We are just getting back into the "swing" of things but we have always looked to keep our costs down. We don't get hotel rooms for every time we go out. If we are just hooking up after a party we usually split the cost of one of the small motels or motel 6, we are just looking for a bed or two so we don't go hi end.

 

We both perfer to go to bar takeovers vs big hotel parties or hotel takeovers. We are lucky that we don't need a baby sitter any longer, even for over night.

 

a few other ways we cut costs.

We plan the events we are going too well in advance and if there is a theme we can shop early and get good deals on outfits

 

We offer to help with the event for lowered costs of entry.

 

We don't do dinner before parties, we either eat at home before or make a stop at subway.

 

If we are going to an event out of town we find others who are going and share the costs, the last out of town event we went to we took two other couples in our car and shared gas, we also split the room with one of them.

 

K

[MN Tom 251]

Costs for us depend on the party of course, but babysitting always ratches it up there.

 

Typical "easy" night of a few couples out at a cheaper bar with some drinks is about $20-40 for the two of us for the bar/drinks, then add another $40-60 for babysitting on top of it. If you add in a hotel room it would be another $20-30 per couple.

 

For us the cheapest night out is separate as singles. One of us stays home to watch the kids, the other goes out on the town. Even cheaper is if one of us takes the kids out, the other comes back to our place (or the other person's place) and plays here. That is nearly free.

 

Most expensive for us (about once every other month) is a hotel takeover. Those usually run $30/night for the party, another $20-60 for drinks/food, and $80-100 for the hotel. We save on sitters with those though since it's family for an overnight, otherwise a sitter would really jack up that cost.

 

Biggest savings for us tends to be on drinks, we have a flask and we also bring more of our own if able. Some places arent bad to buy drinks, but some parties have absurd drink costs, like $7-10+ for each. That really inflates costs fast, so we avoid that.

 

We have some friends who dont, and have heard of them spending $100+ easily in a night on drinks alone. Nuts. Add in a hotel and sitters and it's ugly.

[fwaswinger 15]

I love the questions over here I think the biggest cost to Swainford me used to be the phone bill that used to just about kill me but I'll tell you it was worth every penny and I would do it all over again the other cost it wasn't too bad I guess was the traveling to go meet people

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I love the questions over here I think the biggest cost to Swainford me used to be the phone bill that used to just about kill me but I'll tell you it was worth every penny and I would do it all over again the other cost it wasn't too bad I guess was the traveling to go meet people

 

Was that because you were using magazines where you had to call the 900# to get your messages then use it again to call people back?

[fwaswinger 15]

I hope all my posts are going into the right place I'm so new to this I have an iPhone 4S but answer the question yes I used to call one 900 numbers to meet people but that wasn't so much the phone bill part of it it was the calling people back I'm talking to them for hours because of no unlimited long distance

[Partyperks847 123]

Bumping this thread because I just noticed it and I have read the posts with great interest

Being on the supply side I guess my input would be from that perspective

 

Just like anything else, there is cost and there is value and sometimes paying more is no assurance Of value

There are $50 a couple clubs that are fun clean and safe and there are $100 a couple clubs that are neither safe if clean and not so fun

A few things to maximize your value in my experience

The club should be honest enough to tell you you are paying

"Admission". If they tell you it is a "suggested donation" they are trying to scam you, the IRS, local zoning officials or all 3. Even ongoing regular house parties should be held to this standard.

Hotel room prices are negotiated on the basis of either a break on the cost of the venue or the cost to the guest. If the price is in the $100 range, they took the discount for themselves. There is no right or wrong here, but you may want to consider which owner you choose to do business with based on this.

The cost of your on line presence can r from free to as high as $60 a month. a good rule of thumb here, if a swinger site tells you "you can get laid tonite" or claims to have a membership of 30,000,000 swingers, skip them.

BYOB is always the cheapest option. If you go to a "club" that is a private home or has no displayed liqueur license this is a huge red flag. Just like rooms drink prices are negotiated with either the guests or owners expense in mind. If you are paying $8 for mixed drink, the owner took the spiff for himself, not you, so proceed accordingly.

Some other costs to concider and shop around for

Parking

Dress code

Costs beyond admission (is food, pop, juices, towels and toiletries included?)

[Desdemona1980 297]

$250 - Club membership for the year. It covers all door fees for the year for regular and special events.

[Partyperks847 123]

$250 - Club membership for the year. It covers all door fees for the year for regular and special events.

 

Just curios. How many events a year and what type of venue?