Unmarried couple can only meet during the day. Are they really a couple?

[2jersey 16]

We were contacted by a couple whose profile volunteers the following pertinent information: They are unmarried and looking for daytime play.

 

The overall profile is attractive, including nice photos (with faces disguised), and their bedroom objectives are compatible with ours.

 

In our reply message, we inform them that we have some capacity for daytime meetings and we suggest that there might be a fit. We disclose a few basic facts about ourselves and we say that we would like to learn more about them (without asking any specific questions).

 

In their next message, they volunteer the information that they are not living together. And they explain that daytime play is necessary because their children return home from school around 3PM. (They mention nothing about having evening obligations, other than the fact that they have school age children.)

 

Okay - we consider ourselves to be selective and careful (others might apply more derogatory terminology). Yet, we generally exhibit good manners, and we certainly don’t want to insult anyone by asking insinuating questions.

 

What’s our next move?

[LICouple4u 15]

Dear

 

It sounds like we're pretty compatible and we're interested in meeting. After checking our calendar and calling the sitter, it seems our next available date is . Let us know if you have any ideas of where you'd like to meet.

 

We look forward to hearing from you soon!

 

Sincerely,

TwoJersey

 

 

 

It's possible you'll hear why they can't meet at night. You could also come right out and ask directly if meeting at night is possible. It could be financial (babysitters ARE expensive) or maybe they work nights.

 

Good luck!

[JnCC 24]

In their next message, they volunteer the information that they are not living together...And they explain that daytime play is necessary because their children return home from school around 3PM.

And their respective spouses shortly thereafter...

[Lovinlife59912 17]

Is it just me or are you missing the point that they are unmarried, do not live together, and "their" meaning they both have kids that come home by 3pm.

 

Why don't you just ask if it would be easier to invite both of their spouses because you know the saying, more the merrier.

 

I would think that honesty would be a good quality to have in the couples you eventually want to play with.

[TNT 1,155]

 

Originally Posted by 2jersey

In their next message, they volunteer the information that they are not living together...And they explain that daytime play is necessary because their children return home from school around 3PM.

 

 

And their respective spouses shortly thereafter...

 

Not necessarily....

 

Anyone who has children of school age knows that the rat race starts at 3 p.m. ...I know it does around here (after school activities, homework, dinner, etc. )...hell, there are some nights we're lucky to get things settled down before 10 p.m..

 

What’s our next move?

 

If you're interested in this couple, then ask whatever questions you want. That's the only way you're going to get the information you're looking for.

 

 

Teresa

[slowluvr65 16]

This is just my quick impression, but normally when I even get to the point of chatting with somebody one on one, the bullshit and the secrets go out the window. There is a key difference between things that are posted on the internet that can be seen by ANYBODY or a private communication between interested partners. Granted, I am a single male and I actively seek a real meeting. I freely disclose how to reach me and in private, if there is anything happening between us, we exchange pictures and such. If it gets more serious, we talk about how to meet. Some people are cautious and we meet publicly, others have gotten past the pretence or have learned through our communication that I am trustworthy. Phone numbers are exchanged, voice communication takes place. The key thing I am pointing to is, honest communication is taking happening. If you get incomplete information, hidden photos, no phone number etc., that is a key sign that some B.S. is happening. It is essential to recognize that with anybody you are going to be intimate with. There's a funny thing about honesty, its not selective. If somebody lies about their social situation, they also could be lying about their health situation.

 

I'll go further, and I'm sorry that I point this at females, but this does seem to be a female trait in the sexual dynamic. Women like to tease. They seem to feel that because teasing in person is so much fun, that it is also fun in this on line social dance we do to try to arrange a meeting. Some get sufficient gratification from men telling them how hot they are, some think that its fun to advertise but they don't follow through. And for us eager men its a cruel trait when we think we have an interested, hot woman but she doesn't show up. It is the hardest thing to try to figure out who is real and who is teasing.

 

Men are much more direct--you know what they want. If the offer is to join in fucking their wife or partner, we have a match. Not that men are free from fault. There are a lot of cheaters and fakers. I hear a lot of complaints (OK, some come in the form of accusations) about married men sneaking into these situations without their wives knowing about it. Other guys apparently send out photos of men they are no longer, or never were. And what happens when something different shows up? What do they think will happen?

 

Even though I have gotten no actual results from here, the reason I keep coming back to this site is the people here seem honest, genuine and real. And in the on line world, that is rather unique.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

We were contacted by a couple whose profile volunteers the following pertinent information: They are unmarried and looking for daytime play.

 

In their next message, they volunteer the information that they are not living together. And they explain that daytime play is necessary because their children return home from school around 3PM. (They mention nothing about having evening obligations, other than the fact that they have school age children.)

 

Okay - we consider ourselves to be selective and careful (others might apply more derogatory terminology). Yet, we generally exhibit good manners, and we certainly don’t want to insult anyone by asking insinuating questions.

 

What’s our next move?

Anytime I read a profile from people saying they are looking for daytime play I am suspicious. To me this is code for "we're married/committed to other people and are cheating on them and are looking for others to join us in our escapades, want to join us?"

 

You've mentioned nothing about them offering to meet on the weekend so I'll presume this isn't an option for them, but even if they do bend and say "maybe" to that, I still think they're probably cheaters.

 

I don't touch these kind of requests with a ten foot poll. You can ask them if they are married to other people, but what good would it do? They'll probably lie to you. Then were are you? If they say no you still have to decide if you believe them and if you will accept their invitation to meet.

 

Of course all this advice is presuming you wouldn't be interested in playing with cheaters. If this doesn't matter to you, there is no need to ask them to clarify more about their relationship, all you need to say is "let's get together for some afternoon delight."

 

LM

[JnCC 24]

Anyone who has children of school age knows that the rat race starts at 3 p.m. ...I know it does around here (after school activities, homework, dinner, etc. )...hell, there are some nights we're lucky to get things settled down before 10 p.m.

Oh, I know...I've been there and done that. But I also know that it's possible to arrange for babysitters, or alternate "sleepover" nights with other kids parents, so that both sets of parents can enjoy an occasional, kid-free, night out. Then there's the fact that most "single" parents only have their kids on alternate weekends anyway. Why wouldn't they be willing to meet on a weekend when their kids are at the other parents?

 

The bottom-line, irreducable fact here is that it's a lot easier to schedule an evening away from your kids, than it is from your wife or husband. This isn't a "dating" couple...it's a cheating couple who are not only tired of fucking their spouses, they're tired of fucking each other, too. Now, they're looking for somebody else to bring into their miserable, lonely existence.

 

"Daytime play" only, "because of the kids," eh? Kewl...tell 'em you're all for it, but it'll have to be at one of their houses, and see what kind of response you get.

[2jersey 16]

Hopefully it is obvious to most people that we posted this story to the board because we are concerned that one or both members of the couple are married and cheating on a spouse. If this were the case, it would be a clear deal breaker – we would not be interested.

 

It seems that we have two choices when it comes to discerning this couple’s marital status. We can engage the couple in polite conversation about their lives, and attempt to read between the lines. Or we can ask them a direct question and hope we receive an honest answer.

 

The best case scenario is that they are each divorced (and committed to one another) and have a rational reason for not living together. Perhaps they want to hide their relationship from their children. Divorce can be painful for young children, and it can be made worse if mommy or daddy suddenly has a new lover. We actually know a man who is in this very situation.

 

Assuming they are divorced, they may be limited to daytime play because they are unwilling to entrust their children to babysitters (or can’t afford babysitters). It is also possible that they have a separate evening obligation which they did not mention - but judging from the wording of their message to us, we don’t think this is the case.

 

A middle-of-the-road scenario is that they are separated from their spouses, but not yet divorced. In this case, we will probably err on the side of caution and avoid them until their divorce is complete.

 

One way or another – we will figure it out before we get anywhere near the bedroom. And don’t worry, people, we will do the right thing.

[KajiKurai 15]

Sounds like you're taking the smart approach. You can always ask the straight out. See if they fluster. I would also keep in mind they've lied to you once.

[JnCC 24]

The best case scenario is that they are each divorced (and committed to one another) and have a rational reason for not living together. Perhaps they want to hide their relationship from their children. Divorce can be painful for young children, and it can be made worse if mommy or daddy suddenly has a new lover.

You can rationalize this anyway you want, but an unmarried couple who can "only play in the afternoons" will raise the suspicions of 99.999% of the couples in the lifestyle, and for good reason.

 

Just a question, but what if it were a single male who was only available in the afternoons? Would you assume he was just a "caring father" who didn't want to confuse his poor innocent child, or a married cheater who tells his wife he's been working in the office all afternoon?

A middle-of-the-road scenario is that they are separated from their spouses, but not yet divorced.

That still doesn't explain why they're only available in the afternoons. In fact, if anything, it mitigates against it, because separated people often share parenting duties on weekends until there's a final resolution regarding custody.

Assuming they are divorced, they may be limited to daytime play because they are unwilling to entrust their children to babysitters (or can’t afford babysitters).

That's possible, or....they could be Vampires! Yea, I like that better! They're Vampires, and they don't like to meet in the evening because, well, they have this annoying tendency to kill people and suck their blood, and it's really starting to give them a bad reputation in the swinging community.

 

Hey...at least my story makes more sense than the one they're giving you...

[2jersey 16]

Just a question, but what if it were a single male who was only available in the afternoons? Would you assume he was just a "caring father" who didn't want to confuse his poor innocent child, or a married cheater who tells his wife he's been working in the office all afternoon?

 

We would be suspicious of a single male in that situation, and we are suspicious of this couple - hopefully we have made this clear.

 

We started down the communications path with this couple before we realized that they weren't living together. Now that we have this fact, we don't see the harm in investigating further. We ask a few questions, dig for some detail, and if we aren't completely satisfied that this couple is legit, we walk away - no big deal. You have a problem with this approach?

[JnCC 24]

We started down the communications path with this couple before we realized that they weren't living together. Now that we have this fact, we don't see the harm in investigating further. We ask a few questions, dig for some detail, and if we aren't completely satisfied that this couple is legit, we walk away - no big deal. You have a problem with this approach?

It's not my call, even if they are married to other people and cheating together. You made a comment in a previous post...

 

"we are concerned that one or both members of the couple are married and cheating on a spouse. If this were the case, it would be a clear deal breaker..."

 

It just occurred to me that their situation was highly suspicous. Since it's important to you that they not be cheaters, and since I assumed you were asking for comments on the situation, I was only offering my $.02 worth.

 

One thing I've noticed as a quasi-outsider to all this, is that this "lifestyle" thing is attended by a fair amount of bullshit. (So is the vanilla dating world, but that's a subject for another message board) At the very core are some really strong couples in some amazingly strong relationships..."Supercouples" as one of my friends puts it. There's very little bullshit with those people. They are who they say they are, they know what they're looking for, and they don't have much patience (or sympathy) for those whose standards for marriage are less than theirs.

 

On the periphery, however, are people who are desparately trying to be swingers, but who never really are. Some of those are couples who might be in a "relationship" of sorts, but it's not one that would pass muster with a true "Supercouple." Two people who are cheating on their respective spouses, would be a perfect example of that type of couple. Their world is almost EXCLUSIVELY bullshit. They'll often cancel plans at the last minute...they can't take calls at home, and you can talk to one, but never both, when you do call...they're evasive about personally identifying characteristics, such as where they work or live...they can't meet in public place (or in their hometown)...and the biggie...they can't play on weeknights or weekends, when most legitimate couples would be spending time together and available to play.

 

I'd like to see you follow up with these people. Play detective, feel 'em out, see what other kinds of "restrictions" they have on their playtime. Maybe they're legit, maybe they're shift workers or something. But my guess is that as you start pressing for specifics, they're going to get very uncomfortable, and dissapear entirely...possibly after accusing you of "prying into their business."

 

Keep us posted...

[kandr2000 15]

Although I am not really answering your question, I just wanted to let you all know that when I divorced my first husband 10 years ago, I have my two kids since then 24/7. My dad watches them sometimes but they didnt start seeeing their dad on the weekends until this year. And it still isnt an every weekend thing, I have FULL physical and legal custody.

 

Also if they are working single parents as I was back then, I only had a babysitter when I went to work(dad again) and I worked from 3:30 pm to 2am. So it may not be cheating. I played plenty when I was single, and always had to work it around my kids(my first priority) and work. When you are just fu**ing someone you really dont want them around your kids......just as you wouldnt bring most people your swinging with home to meet your kids.

 

I have 2 kids from previous marriage (we have custody of) My husband has 2 from previous marriage (we have custody of them too) and we have 2 together(under 4 years) His two for years where only seeing their mom 1st and 3rd weekend.

 

All Im trying to say is you never know, trust your instincts and ask questions......Thats the only way to know for sure.

[2jersey 16]

... I'd like to see you follow up with these people. Play detective, feel 'em out, see what other kinds of "restrictions" they have on their playtime. Maybe they're legit, maybe they're shift workers or something. But my guess is that as you start pressing for specifics, they're going to get very uncomfortable, and dissapear entirely...possibly after accusing you of "prying into their business." ...

 

As a next step, we're going to ask this couple to chat with us online on a weekday evening, and we are going to request a simultaneous voice verification via phone. If they balk at this request, we're finished with them. If they accept, and the chat goes well, we'll agree to meet them for lunch sometime and we'll investigate further. By the time we're finished with them, we'll probably know everything from their social security numbers to the names of their pet goldfish.

 

Sanctimonious soapbox alert!!! No matter what we do as individuals, we're not going to rid the world of cheaters. But we intend to do our part to limit the opportunities which cheaters have within the 'lifestyle'.

[DBL D 120]

I think I understand what you are feeling...but. Aren't we jumping the gun a bit? It's almost like you want to call these two out just because of their preferences to play during the day and not be married to each other. I think folks should only contact people who are really interesting to them and not try and guess what is going on until you hear it from them. What's wrong with a little daytime play now and then? The chances are that you are right in your thinking but it's a little premature to call them cheaters.

 

Male D

[ANGEDKY(mr) 100]

Ok, I'm gonna sound like an ass here, but I think it needs to be said..........

 

Why all the games?? Whatever happened to the honest question??

Just ask 'em !!! If they are in some sort of torrid affair odds are you wont hear from them again, if they arent then you will get an answer and you can explain where you were coming from. If they get pissy then it doesn't matter what their "Status" is who wants sleep with people like that in the first place.

 

 

Angedky(mr)

[2jersey 16]

DBL D and ANGEDKY - we sometimes do the same thing on long threads - read the original post and not all the subsequent replies.

 

DBL D - We're not calling them cheaters . We agree with what others have said here - we need to be very suspicious of them. As we have said, we intend to give them a chance to further explain their circumstances. There may be a reasonable/acceptable explaination.

 

ANGEDKY - We intend to ask the direct questions. But, as others have said (and we agree), merely asking the question does not guarantee an honest reply. We may need to dig a little deeper and read between the lines. Yes, this involves some gamesmanship.

[DBL D 120]

As a next step, we're going to ask this couple to chat with us online on a weekday evening, and we are going to request a simultaneous voice verification via phone. If they balk at this request, we're finished with them. If they accept, and the chat goes well, we'll agree to meet them for lunch sometime and we'll investigate further. By the time we're finished with them, we'll probably know everything from their social security numbers to the names of their pet goldfish.

 

Sanctimonious soapbox alert!!! No matter what we do as individuals, we're not going to rid the world of cheaters. But we intend to do our part to limit the opportunities which cheaters have within the 'lifestyle'.

 

Hi again 2jersey,

 

I must admit that I didn't read every line written but I thought I was getting the gist of your thoughts. I did read this one too...before I answered...and that's what gave me the feeling that you were wanting to out them...to protect the lifestyle. My wife and I have had a couple experiences e-mailing with couples who weren't married to each other and said they were married to other people. We just told them we have a policy of committed couples only at this time and moved on. As much as I hate to say "no" to anyone, this was a clear case that just doesn't fit with what we're wanting. There are plenty of couples that do fit our ideas and it doesn't make sense to try spend time chatting if it doesn't look or feel right.

 

If you are indeed serious about wanting this couple, then you are doing the right things.

 

Male D

[2jersey 16]

Hi again 2jersey,

 

I must admit that I didn't read every line written but I thought I was getting the gist of your thoughts. I did read this one too...before I answered...and that's what gave me the feeling that you were wanting to out them...to protect the lifestyle. My wife and I have had a couple experiences e-mailing with couples who weren't married to each other and said they were married to other people. We just told them we have a policy of committed couples only at this time and moved on. As much as I hate to say "no" to anyone, this was a clear case that just doesn't fit with what we're wanting. There are plenty of couples that do fit our ideas and it doesn't make sense to try spend time chatting if it doesn't look or feel right.

 

If you are indeed serious about wanting this couple, then you are doing the right things.

 

Male D

 

We now understand your perspective. When we stood on our soapbox regarding cheating, we were responding to the hypothetical question implied by some of the earlier posts. i.e. Would we even care if they were cheating on spouses?

 

Although, we are not to a point where we fully identify with the 'lifestyle', we want to respect those on the board who do. And our overwhelming sense is that the lifestyle does not condone either cheating or 'swingers' who make themselves available to cheaters.

 

The reason that we are keeping our options open with this couple, for the time being, is that they have a nice online profile with nice photos, they live locally - and we, ourselves, are interested in occasional daytime meetings.

 

BTW, Our interest in daytime meetings should not be construed as evidence that we are cheating on spouses. We are happily married (to each other), living together for 20 years, and have rarely even traded a harsh word - except when I yelled at him in the maternity delivery room.

[ANGEDKY(mr) 100]

Lets just agree to disagree. I see no reason to dig deeper, especially if its a casual sex encounter. When I ask a question, either I believe the answer or I don't and each one has a seperate and distinct outcome. One, "Cool Lets go for dinner sometime" the other "Sorry 'bout your luck, lie to somebody else" and we would move on..........

 

 

 

additional thought :

Can you really trust them when they say "STD's free" ?? When you didnt like their initial answer to your 1st question and had to do all that digging just to get somewhere

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- I'm always amazed at how hard people will try to make an obviously bad situation work. C'mon--just forget it and them.

[JM153 346]

Let me bring the perspective of a member of a committed, unmarried, living apart couple. We are aware, as I assume your other couple is, that many would not want to swing with unmarrieds, much less, ummarieds living apart, therefore we are not offended by questions about our marital state. We do voulnteer our couple status and we will answer truthfully any questions. How long we have been together - how long have we been swinging, our swinging experience, our preferences, etc. However, we are reluctant to go into much detail online. After all we do not know the other couple is real either. If we were the couple, we would prefer the daytime lunch or coffee meet to discuss details of our lives. In an in person meeting, all parties get to size up the other and make a determination if they want to play.

 

As I read your posts, you have already decided they may be a fit, you are not opposed to their being unmarried, you are not opposed to their living apart - the deal breaker would be they are cheating. So, set up a meet and ask them the questions - both direct and indirect. If your satisfied with the answers then play - if not, move on. They may lie to you, but remember they didn't have to tell you they were unmarried and living apart. They could have lied about their married state (if they have been around awhile they know that is a deal killer for some) and come up with some story as to why they have to play in the daytime.

 

I know, (takes bow ) unmarried couples can be great play partners, so based on your obvious interest, I recommend a face to face.

JM

[J&BinNJ 15]

Sounds like a couple that contacted us. They had to be discreet and couldonly play in daytime. Once we emailed them and said we may be interested then they told us they were married, just not to each other. Needless to say we then turned them down.

[meandher2go 17]

funny, we think we know them too. never playedwith them just got a feeling all was not right there.

 

NJ is not THAT big...

[DGrey 28]

funny, we think we know them too. never playedwith them just got a feeling all was not right there.

 

NJ is not THAT big...

 

No indeed, it is not.

 

E

[Amanda69 24]

I am curious as to what you will find out. I don't think any genuine couple would mind if you simply said "hey, what you described makes it sound like you guys might be in other relationships?" They could answer "yes", or they could say "really, wow we didn't realize someone might think that and then give you the scoop."

 

People play in the lifestyle several ways, you decide for yourself what you are willing to do and accept. Stick to that decision and ask the questions you need to in order to get the information you need. If they are offended by that then they weren't the couple for you in the first place.

[Tybee Swing 286]

we generally exhibit good manners, and we certainly don’t want to insult anyone by asking insinuating questions.

 

What’s our next move?

 

Hi Jersey,

 

Personally, I would ask any question on my mind, anything that sets off an alarm, and ask it politely. In the Lifestyle and especially through ads with strangers whom you may end up getting intimate with, I feel it goes without saying that everybody has the right to ask whatever they need to ask. Anyone on the receiving end of a question should understand that right to ask, also. So, I would ask directly if they are married to others, and could they please explain their situation to you. You have the right to know before you decide to get intimate with them, or even decide to meet them. Like many other couples, my husband and I don't want to meet with cheaters, either.

 

Best wishes!

[2jersey 16]

Update, for any interested parties: During a subsequent e-mail exchange with this particular couple, we have ascertained that they have 11 children between the two of them.They have professed their ongoing attraction to us (they have seen all of our photos, and we have seen theirs) - yet they claim to be experiencing a barrage of graduations, confirmations and birthdays, making an immediate dialogue very untimely. Additionally, they have volunteered the information that they are now in play mode with a couple with which they have been corresponding for a significant length of time. They have suggested that we take future correspondence offsite and have provided us with a personal e-mail address.

 

We already anticipate the chorus of people who will say "move-on 2jersey"!

 

Any further thoughts on this situation are welcome and appreciated.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

This is getting better all the time.

 

Why do you think they told you they have an ongoing relationship with another couple? Is this to suggest they don't know when they'll have time to fit you in? Could they be trying to string you along?

 

Graduations, confirmations and birthdays aren't usually celebrated during daytime weekday hours, when kids are in school. Isn't this the very time they wanted to play? Why would these activities get in the way of a one-hour lunch meet up?

 

Who is writing to you, do you know for sure? Is it him or her. Since they live in different locations they've each got their own e-mail address. Only one may be able to access SLS at their home. How often are these two even together, with two households and 11 children between them?

 

How about telling them you want to set up a phone call - all four of you at the same time - next week before developing your relationship further?

 

See what they say.

 

LM

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I just realized that kids are probably getting out of school - if they haven't already - for the summer.

 

When does this couple even expect to find time to play during the day this summer with 11 kids home all day?

 

LM

[2jersey 16]

This is getting better all the time.

 

Why do you think they told you they have an ongoing relationship with another couple? Is this to suggest they don't know when they'll have time to fit you in? Could they be trying to string you along?

 

Graduations, confirmations and birthdays aren't usually celebrated during daytime weekday hours, when kids are in school. Isn't this the very time they wanted to play? Why would these activities get in the way of a one-hour lunch meet up?

 

Who is writing to you, do you know for sure? Is it him or her. Since they live in different locations they've each got their own e-mail address. Only one may be able to access SLS at their home. How often are these two even together, with two households and 11 children between them?

 

How about telling them you want to set up a phone call - all four of you at the same time - next week before developing your relationship further?

 

See what they say.

 

LM

 

This is kind of what we expected to hear.... In addition to the 'cheating on spouse' issue, we now have a 'stringing us along issue'.

 

Having personally read their messages, we don't expect them to be open to the idea of a near-term ("next week") phone call.

 

We will be moving on (without prejudice) to the hundreds of other local attractive couples who want to meet us for daytime play.

[LICouple4u 15]

I wouldn't jump in and say 'move on.' I would say that if you're not comfy waiting, then forget about them. Having them contact you after the communion/graduation season passes couldn't hurt, if you are interested that is.

 

If you have no desire to meet them with new info that you've learned through chatting, then by all means, move on and forget about them.

 

I know for us, Christmas season is super busy for us due to my work and we may not be able to contact people so fast, so we told people that and we hooked up with them after New Years It was well worth the wait

[NandTfromCA 84]

Consider this a good thing…a learning experience. If we get suspicious, the first thing we do is request that their female half call our female half. If they continue to try and converse via email, we politely ask them to give us a call to discuss.

 

It’s seems to weed out the time-wasters pretty quickly. They either:

1. Call, and we plan to get together- Great! We meet new friends.

2. Disappear, never to be heard from again- Great! We just saved time.

3. Disappear for a little while and then email us a couple weeks later (in which case we reiterate our request)- Great! Now they get blocked.

 

Even if everything looks great we try to always make sure the girls have a change to talk before we meet a couple for the first time. It helps to begin building a comfort level before even meeting.

 

The other thing is we can be extremely direct. IE. “You guys seem really cool and we are looking forward to meeting you. In our experience when couples are never able to meet in the evening, something fishy is going on. We doubt it’s the case with you two but we have to admit that it has crossed our mind. Could you make us feel certain that that is not the case?”

 

That could piss people off, even if they are genuine in their story, but we figure it is worth the risk. If that kind of directness offends them, they probably aren’t a fit for us anyway.

 

 

 

 

We will be moving on (without prejudice) to the hundreds of other local attractive couples who want to meet us for daytime play.

That's the swinger sprirt!!!

 

 

EDITED out the typos

[DBL D 120]

I'm the last guy to say a final good-bye to a couple even if they don't e-mail in a timely or necessary fashion. I even hold out hope that someone's attitude will change as time goes by. I never give up on something I feel good about. If this couple is just stringing you along, they are doing it the right way. They are letting you know that if you think you are having trouble setting up something with them the reason may be a lack of time (hence the notification about playing with another couple.) They also may be saying that because they want to show you, somehow, that they are real and just very busy.

 

Let's face it...Everybody does it differently. Go with the flow or make your own waves.

 

I'd be patient with them but wouldn't concentrate on them. The problem is when they say they are ready to meet, or what ever and you are too busy to see them. That would be a twist, wouldn't it?

 

Male D

[jennandjamesinm 87]

I would just put them on the back burner for now. It is possible that life has just gotten overwhelming for them - especially with 11 kids

 

We had a similar situation where we were contacted by a couple last summer, but we could never get around to meeting them - between our 3 boys, a wedding and some financial issues, we were overwhelmed and couldn't ever get it together with them. I know that they truly thought we were full of shit. We sent "Hi, how are yous and checked in from time to time with them because we WERE interested, but just couldn't get our stuff together. Finally in October (5 months after our initial contact with them) we met them - and it ended up being WELL worth the wait.

 

So move on to checking out others in your area that you are interested in, but keep them in mind. You just never know.

 

Jenn

[DBL D 120]

AH!...A kindred spirit...

 

Male D

[2jersey 16]

Consider this a good thing…a learning experience....

 

We are becoming very familiar with 'learning experiences'. How do we get physical experiences?

[robel12550 31]

Oh! Oh! We got this one! You achieve "physical experience" after "learning experience"! Just like you two did when you were courting. And as the song goes, "Many a tear has to fall, but it's all in the game." (Actual song a little too "romantic" for this, but the same process holds true.)