What makes you want to swing?

[watcherone 15]

After reading the last couple days of discussion, I am beginning to wonder what it is that you all are into swinging for. To me and my wife, we are into it for the fun and enjoyment you get from sharing with someone else. I also have talked to the men we invite in and they basically are into it for about the same thing. Maybe singles and couples have the same basic needs in the lifestyle and that is why they are in it.

[LIZA 20]

Just for fun.......no deep reasons.

 

We avoid jealousy by not doing everything with others and by not developing close relationships with others. Most of the people we have been with we either met that same night or met maybe one time before. We are not one of those couples that is into developing long, intimate relationships with the people we play with........I have all the intimacy I want or need in my marriage. This is just a way to share some fun exciting times, cut loose and that's it, no more.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Personally, we are into it for friendships. Not long intimate relationships in the type that my husband and I have, but just friendships. There is a line between sex and love .. unfortunately too many people don't know how to separate the two. Luckily both of us do and we can develop friendships with people and have sex with them without worrying about getting "too attached". We can't speak for those we have played with. There have been occasions when a single guy we were friends with then decided to include in our play got too attached to me and that killed our friendship as well. But it's a chance you take.

 

We aren't hardcore swingers who go out every weekend to swinger clubs or parties looking for someone to play with, then have sex with them that night and move on. If we go to a swinger party we are looking for friends. If we did hit it off well with someone that night and decide to play, great. But we've learned to expect the opposite.

 

Overall we are in this because we have both discovered through a great deal of communication that neither of us like the idea of only having sex with one person for the rest of our lives. We have the one person we love and we will always come home to, but sometimes when it comes to sex you want something different. Also we are into this because in all that communication we found that hubby really enjoys seeing me with other guys or even hearing about it. It is an expansion of our relationship.

 

I think that when it comes down to it, everyone is in it for their own reasons and looking for their own things.. but their definition is the same. They are all looking to fulfill fantasies that they can't fulfill on their own... even the single guys.

 

If you go into this with the right attitude and accept that not everyone is what you are looking for, just as you are not what everyone else is looking for you'll have a great time and meet some great people. Yes we enjoy the sex, but it makes life much easier when we can have friends that understand our lifestyle as well.

 

Julie

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Friendships...With whom we can share the lifestyle with, fulfilling each other's sexual desires & fantasies...Enhancing our already AWESOME sex life to the fullest with mutual friends! Whether it be soft or full swing, as long as we're all enjoying ourselves...Same room sex is just as much of a turn on, as any other way possible! *VBS*

 

I agree with Julie, some can't distinguish the difference between "sex & love". Just because we have a friendship going with couples we swing with, don't mean we're "in love" with one or the other too. Intimacy is shared only between hubby & I. Some find that hard to do too...

 

We're not hardcore swingers either, and we haven't tried any clubbing yet, but that's still an option we keep open, maybe for later with other mutual friends. ;-)

 

 

Wife of CyberMWCouple

[watcherone 15]

There is something different about friends you swing with. Some get embarrassed and it takes a little work on our part to help them feel okay about just enjoying the sex and not having to deal with any intimate relationship afterwards. We have added new friends with and without sex. One younger guy in particular has become a very good friend and he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. He is now probably closer than some friends we have had for many years. Not from sex but just because he found he could be himself around us and we weren't critical of who he was. He is also my wife's best and favorite swing partner-outside of me that is. That is another funny thing about getting into this lifestyle. My wife has not once found our sex life to be less exciting after having one or two other men in her. It is just the opposite, she seems to need me more somehow and that has made me more at ease and affectionate.

 

PS: I am sorry that she never does the posting here. I seem to be more open about this to "strangers" such as this board and she is still a bit scared that family or straight friends will find out and think less of her. Myself, I am a better person for being true to my feelings and not hiding what I am. There are worse things to be and we are only being natural.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Hey Watcher,

 

That's really one of the great things about this lifestyle.. even if you don't end up swinging with some of the people you meet it does give you the opportunity to meet some great people that you can be open with. I mean you can't really talk about this stuff with your friends at work...lol.. well you might be able to with some.. but you know what I mean.

 

Don't feel bad about your wife not posting.. I've found that in most cases it's the guy who is doing most of the emails, answering ads, and postings. I'm an oddball and usually end up doing it all here.. and every once in a while you get a couple like Cyber that actually both use the computer...lol.

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

We love meeting new people, making new friends online, as well as offline... ?

 

Interesting conversations take place...

[poisonivy_44057 15]

Hello, the reason I got into swinging was purely...BI-CURIOSITY...now I like it because it adds a little spice when we hit stump, and I have found just talking to other couples and woman, making the plans and discussing sex with them, really turns me on. I have also made a few friends through swinging, and lost a few that were rotten apples. So to sum things up, I do it so I can have the best of both worlds.

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Quote

Originally posted by poisonivy_44057:

...I have found just talking to other couples and woman, making the plans and discussing sex with them, really turns me on.

 

Same here, I know whatcha mean...

 

 

Quote

I have also made a few friends through swinging, and lost a few that were rotten apples. So to sum things up, I do it so I can have the best of both worlds

 

We too, have met lots of nice couples, made lots of new friends, whether they're compatible swinging partners or not. I love the "mutual-common ground" we have with our friends in the lifestyle! Being able to discuss our sexual desires and interests together so openly and comfortably...That's SO cool!

[watcherone 15]

Doesn't it seem to you all that swinging with others lets you be the person you have to hide from the rest of the world. I feel so much better just having a place like this to come to and be with people who feel the same or almost the same. When you swing with another person or couple, you become like kindred spirits. You aren't afraid to talk openly about sex or anything else when you are with them. One of the best times we have is always after sex with another guy. We can all sit and talk and sometimes get all excited and go after it again.

 

It allows us to be free of the guilt trips that society throws on us all about what is right and what society sees as wrong. It is a coming out type of thing, no more hiding in the "closet".

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I agree that is one of the best things we've found. Even if we don't end up swinging with people we meet it provides us with new friends that we can be open with and talk about sexual things... and who knows we might me a great couple through them that we end up swinging with.

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

It's SO cool, to be able to chat with friends in the lifestyle about whatever is on our minds! Most of us find ourselves watching what we say or do when we're around or chatting with our non-lifestyle friends. *lol*

 

A few nights ago, I was chatting with a long time g/f on ICQ, whom we met about 3 yrs. ago, in the same chat room that hubby & I met in...We were chatting about relationships, sex, sex, and more of sex...*lol* And I finally asked her if she was bi/bi-curious? She answered, "Yes, very much so!" I wasn't surprised, but SHE was surprised that after chatting more on this subject, that she actually had this conversation with me, or anyone for that matter! She was so pleased that I was so open in discussing this subject with her, and that she felt so comfortable about this too...

 

Now THAT'S "Freedom of Speech"! *lol*

[Stratecpl 19]

This is one of the nicest conversations that I've ever read, folks. I am sorry if I'm crashing into it.... LOL

 

As my handle implies, we're straight only. But the sentiments you've shared are kind of universal, in my book. Sharing without jealousy, enhancing our lives richly, gaining new friendships both in and out of the bedroom.... wonderful. We love this lifestyle!

 

And it has richly enhanced our already wonderful marriage. When we have an encounter, we share really hot sex together for at least a week afterwards! Well, OK... we have hot sex together every night already! so that's not a real change.... but to see each other with a different partner, to hear the sounds and see the looks of ecstasy.... only those who have actually done this know the rewards.

 

Thanks for letting an old-fashioned guy rant here!!

 

 

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Stratecpl...No problem! *lol*

 

My sentiments exactly...The lifestyle is an enhancement to our already AWESOME sex life! And the friendships we gain along the way, it's pretty cool to share the same interests with other couples, especially AND including SEX!

[patient guy 15]

Stratecpl,

 

I have to second your comments about the fine conversation here. I really enjoy being able to talk about life and all that it offers with others. This is something not at all comfortable for most people which makes reading this thread and others here so enjoyable. All of you here have such a fine attitude about yourselves, life, and this lifestyle.

 

Originally posted by Stratecpl:

This is one of the nicest conversations that I've ever read, folks. I am sorry if I'm crashing into it.... LOL

 

As my handle implies, we're straight only. But the sentiments you've shared are kind of universal, in my book. Sharing without jealousy, enhancing our lives richly, gaining new friendships both in and out of the bedroom.... wonderful. We love this lifestyle!

 

And it has richly enhanced our already wonderful marriage. When we have an encounter, we share really hot sex together for at least a while afterwards! Well, OK... we have hot sex together every night already! So that's not a real change.... but to see each other with a different partner, to hear the sounds and see the looks of ecstasy.... only those who have actually done this know the rewards.

 

Thanks for letting an old-fashioned guy rant here!!

 

[Stratecpl 19]

Patient Guy,

 

I must say that being among friendly faces makes all the difference in the world to us!! LOL Thank each one of you for putting up with us...

 

This lifestyle is one which all too many people speak in hushed voices about. They don't want anyone to know the particulars of what's going on.... really, I can't blame them either!! LOL I mean, many people out there will quickly point accusing fingers before they even hear the full story. That's how these one-sided opinions get started, you know. It's not something you may want the guys at work to gab about behind your back. Seems like they are all content getting old and trying to remember what SEX was about in the first place!! It's sad that men my age and younger have forgotten this. They have sex MAYBE once a month, and then don't enjoy it.

 

I'm a definite complete opposite to their scheme of things, though... I believe that sex is the greatest thing on earth, and definitely the most wonderful invention ever!! LOL (OK, it's not an invention, but I wish I had the patent on it)

 

But the swinging lifestyle is something that can enrich our lives so greatly. In our particular situation (for example) I have fallen more in love with my wife than I ever dreamed possible. And this is after we've been together more than ten years. We've shown each other sides of ourselves that we never suspected were there. We've unleashed "the beast" so to speak... which was there all along, but only shrouded by the guidelines that are placed on us from the society we live in. When we play with others, they see clearly how much in love we are in. I guess it shows!

 

How many people go through their entire lives, wondering if they were capable of having someone other than their husband or wife? When we were single and teenagers, we dated as many others as we could until we finally found the "right" one. Surely some have reminisced, thinking of that lovely gal or that great-looking hunk....

 

Well, as swingers, all that is rekindled. The excitement is back, the fire, the butterflies in the stomachs, the tingly feelings, plus SO MUCH MORE!!! Now, we can share these feelings with our mates. That makes it all many times better, in my book!!

 

No matter what your preferences are, you can probably all agree that this electricity is there, it's back, and it's wonderful.

 

Swinging isn't for just everyone. But if it works for you, then enjoy it. Savor the fine times, the erotic sex, the sights and sounds that only you can know. We're building memories at every turn here. They will go with us for the rest of our lives.

 

I like that!!

 

Ron

 

PS: Can someone explain to me what "finger fruits" are? I've been noticing it a lot here lately in profiles....

[mehim 16]

Ever since we started swinging , I ask myself that question, what makes us and other couples wanting to swing? I go from our life. After 25 years of marriage we were stuck in our ruts, always get up the same time do the same thing, have sex the same old way and having my son introduce me to that wicked machine called computer lol changed our whole thinking and aspect of life, and having the kids grown and out of the house made it easy in our decision to try a complete new lifestyle And us being always oversexed, we thought that's the greatest way to go - he gets variety and I get all of my fantasies fulfilled (still working on some).

 

I would like to hear from all of you, and hopefully meet some of you great people one time.

[walrus0115 15]

Fantasies for her. Fantasies for me. That's our bag too!

 

Your question does remind me of a conversation my wife and I had the other night. We have a hard time changing our sexual routine when we haven't played with others in awhile. We've only been together for 5 years but we've gotten to know each other's bodies so well that it's hard to change. She knows exactly what makes me hot and I know her. Seem as though we go for the hot spots all too quickly now. It's sometimes difficult for us to prolong our sex when we're both so adept at getting each other off. I think we both miss those little sexual mistakes that people make when things are new. Of course, many of those "mistakes" turn out to be sources of great pleasure. Maybe that's why we like this, or we're just perverts. Who cares!

[OhioCouple 40]

I am not really sure what was the TRUE motivation for us to swing. We had fantasized about different scenarios for years, both of which involved no partner and different partners. We explored the no partner avenues first and then moved on to the adding of different partners. As Walrus said, it is fantasy. It also depends on your sexual liberation. Some people can be happy with just watching a video/movie and fulfilling their fantasies. Others, such as us, sought to bring the movies and videos to life.

 

We swing as it is a way to express ourselves sexually. That fulfills all of our needs. Not to mention it makes for FANTASTIC love making sessions between ourselves afterwards!

[Quin 17]

I love sex and I love sex with a bunch of people. That's about the basis of it for me. Using the old cliches...the more the merrier, variety is the spice of life, yada yada yada. Sure I could go to a bar and probably pick up 10 or so guys for a good old gang bang but that's not always what I want and I'm sure it's very difficult to find women who will join in a group venture at a regular niteclub (haven't been to one and tried for a while so I'm going on past experiences). So that leads me to look within the swingers in my area.

 

I feel very fortunate that the group I mostly hang with have accepted me with not very much descent. There are a few of the wives who are intimidated, I believe, by the fact that I'm single and have yet to get the idea that I don't want their husbands, I just want to fuck them. But I do respect those women and their wishes if they have said that they do not wish their husband to indulge with myself.

 

And personally, I don't think one man can satisfy me continually on a day to day, week to week basis. One guy I dated a few years back even told me that he knew he couldn't keep me satisfied, he couldn't keep up with me sexually, and that I required much more physically and sexually from someone than he had to give. I mentioned bringing others in but he nixed that idea quickly due to his upbringing and society and then he was more out to find a *mate*. Well, that right there eventually sent me running screaming in the opposite direction.

[L&K 15]

I have a lot to say on this question. 1ST if your into swing just to get your nut off make sure the other couple know that. I am not saying it is not a valid reason just think it is a shallow one. Sorry, I get to have an opinion too.

 

For us it is like the thrill of dating again. We like the overall picture of swinging; meeting new couples, going out to dinner, then on to dancing getting to hold that person for the first time in your arms. let things take a more natural course like when you are dating. I have never met a woman that can meet a man take off her clothes and ENJOY sex. ya she can PUT OUT if that is all you want. I need to feel i have given her as much as she gave me in the way of pleasure. Guys can just get with the business i think there is very few woman who can do that. We are not looking to fall in love with another couple, just give them and our selves time to gain trust and have some idea who they are and what they want out of the experience. Three is a lot of fun to be had prior to getting sexual. If you want the full experience that takes a time investment we think.

 

WOW, where did my sense of humor go today!

[sportync 20]

m&s said a mouth full but I think you really hit the mark. After a couple has spent years getting to know each other, and learned to give and recieve pleasure together, they find what works, and , as couples, they tend to loose the search because they have already found the destination. The search can be a big part of the fun in reaching the final destination. This,I think, is where another couple or individual can help out. You are suddenly faced with someone who is not totally familiar...someone with whom you must learn how to please. Sex, like anything else in life, can become not necessarily unfulfilling, but sometimes rather predictable. It can still be extremely enjoyable, but face it, when you know exactly what to expect in the bedroom, some of the mystery and excitment of the event is diminished. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just life.The addition of another partner or couple takes you out of the predictable, comfortable situation you find yourself in, and reintroduces the element of mystery and wonder.

[Brian and Jo 344]

What made us want to swing was the fact that we both wanted to enjoy a variety of sexual partners. We were achieving this through affairs which were conducted in a secret and furtive way which was not a good thing at all. The motivation for swinging therefore was to be able to satisfy our desire to have other partners in a completly open and honest fashion devoid of any feelings of guilt that we were cheating on each other.

[L&K 15]

Brian & Jo that may be one of the most honest answers posted here.

 

Our relationship had a very small one time flaw like that years ago and it what originally brought up the subject. Though years later now that we are getting into swing I am not sure that is a valid reason for us. But it did bring up the subject long ago.

[SFl_Bi_Couple 37]

My wife & I have been swinging on and off for about 25 years or so(she's 58, I'm 56) and we started for the same reason as Brian & Jo. We both were involved in affairs and decided that it was mostly just for the sexual aspect and that we did not want to lose each other.

 

Since we have been swinging, I don't think that jealousy has been a problem. in fact swinging has been a positive aspect to our marriage. We don't go to clubs and don't get to swing as often as we would like but we both still enjoy it greatly.

[BedroomAccess 15]

Most people who really love sex need variety - and experiencing that along with fullfilling your fantasies with your partner is the best thing!!!

[MagicEnigma 16]

A lot of things hit all at once for me. I wanted to try having a threesome with another guy, my BF wanted the same, but with another girl. I actually came out as bi shortly before he arranged for a swap with a married couple up north. He didn’t take as well to the occasion, I wound up upstaging him and being way more into it than he was. He and I went out own way, but the couple and I stayed together. They asked and I agreed to try a private party, and we’ve gone from there. I said yes to it because I have gotten comfortable with myself sexually and enjoy the exploration and variety. Every new partner is a big thrill. Even if it’s the third person of a night, its new and different. Hard to want to give it up after you’ve tried it I think.

[knight69 15]

For me, i just love watching my wife with 1 or more guys at once. its totally awesome!!!!!!!

[N00bs 15]

Hubby and I attended a couples dance this weekend, and as I looked around the room at the various age groups/social standings/body types etc I couldn't help but wonder WHY??

Why do these ppl swing??

 

I've heard many stories about how ppl came to be in this lifestyle, but never really hear why.

 

So if anyone can make any sense of this post....please tell us why you decided to become swingers?

 

As for us......we haven't taken the leap yet, we're still in the discussion phase. So I can't answer my own question.:p

[RMRx2 24]

Ms. rmrx2 and I have had some multiple partner experience in the past but not together...and just the kind of thing that "happens" without much thought or planning.

 

We both have been married previously,,and are a bit older wiser.

 

We have both failed at least once to be totally monogamous.

 

We both have experienced a lack of communication and honesty where it comes to sex and all the problems that it causes.

 

We too are new here, but I can tell you what our reasons are:

 

1) Been there done that with secrets and lack of communication. We feel that since we have made the decision to enter, and discussed the lifestyle, we are being much more honest with each other about a whole huge part of our humanity, SEX...and our desires, thoughts, urges, wants, needs...and as a result, feel closer, and feel we are sharing something that we have kept secret for fear of hurt, loss, anger, judgment. In our past relationships, we look at any activity we will engage in with other partners as a sharing of that human experience also.

 

2) We have had friends, some good, some great, some hers, some mine, but when we're out having a great time, there comes that time when we'd either like to be able to get naked with them...or wonder when their gonna go home! Once again, we feel that sex is natural and part of what makes us human. We look forward to sharing that joy and experience with our friends as well rather than having to wait til we're alone.

 

3) Some experiences we want to have require additional players, so to speak. Play and sex is play and sex, lovemaking is what we do together with each other.

 

These are our reasons, probably not everyone's, but ours. I hope this helps.

[sportync 20]

I think that the average person (or couple) tends to allow society to dictate a lot of their behavior with arbitrary rules set up long ago to try and deal with social situations as they were 100-150 years ago. Many of these rules are based on myth, religious belief, social concerns or other abstract ideas which really have no place in 21st century America. Yet the taboos they put in place, like the Berlin Wall, are tough to tear down. Society tends to reject change, yet change is constant, even when it goes unrecognized.

 

My wife and I didn't consciously decide to become swingers. One night, she had a friend over and the two of them jumped my bones. I loved it. It was a fantasy of mine that she knew about and she loved me enough to make it a reality. Nothing more of that nature happened for over a decade. We wound up skinny-dipping with a couple we were very close to, and before the month was over, we all wound up in bed together on several occasions. We still hadn't decided to become swingers. We've had several other experiences, all enjoyable and I think we're on a different level of understanding now. We openly communicate our desires to each other and if we discover that we're both turned on to the same idea, we consider pursuing it. We never sat down and said, "Let's become swingers!", but we understand each other much better now than we ever had before and we've got some really great memories to share and hopefully there will be more in the future.

[naughty A 23]

I suppose it started with a mutual desire to try threesomes... of both varieties.

 

We saw an ad for a swingers club... and thought about that for a while...

 

Once we actually started going to clubs... we couldn't stop...

 

Love the sexually charged atmosphere, the opportunity to meet new people- get to know them and occassionally hook up with couples or singles

[Vjklander 138]

As Chuck Berry said "There ain't nothing wrong with sex!"

 

I think the question should not be "WHY?" but rather "WHY NOT ??!!"

[WildFlower 17]

We became swingers to make a fantasy come true. I wanted to try my first truely bi experience. SO we sat down talked about how to make it happen and researched and finally met a nice couple who fufilled my fantasy. I loved it and don't want to go back to the way things were before. swinging adds spice to our relationship. It helps express our voyuerism and exbitionism. It is rewarding and I am happy we have chosen to live this lifestyle. Just wish main stream society was more accepting of the lifestyle.

[RMRx2 24]

Quote

Originally posted by WildFlower

We became swingers to make a fantasy come true. I wanted to try my first truly bi experience. SO we sat down talked about how to make it happen and researched and finally met a nice couple who fulfilled my fantasy. I loved it and don't want to go back to the way things were before. swinging adds spice to our relationship. It helps express our voyeurism and exhibitionism. It is rewarding and I am happy we have chosen to live this lifestyle. Just wish main stream society was more accepting of the lifestyle.

 

good answer,,,sometimes the simplest of answers are the best,,,,,

[bill&sabrina 22]

This may sound bad, but it is the honest truth about why we are into swinging. I told my wife that sexually she wasn't enough for me. Our sex is great, but I wanted to have someone different from time to time. Now our sex is better than great, and we are still fairly new.

[saranmark 15]

Somehow, Bill, I doubt that approach would work for very many people!

 

SARA

[BradAndJanet 70]

I think for us there are several different reasons and some that perhaps we haven't even discovered yet When we started, the main reason was to fulfill J's fantasy for a MFM threesome. We also wanted to experience the variety of different partners, for the fun of that, and also explore our sexuality in ways that we could not as a couple.

 

Those are the original reasons that we got started, but now we have discovered that a foursome can be even more fun than a threesome, that after a swinging encounter the sex between us is incredible and that swinging can be a wonderful boost to our self-esteem. We've also made some absolutely wonderful friends along the way. These reasons, and the thought that there is so much that we have yet to experience is what keeps us going.

 

I like Jamie's answer too! It's not "Why?", but "Why not?"

[lia6972 15]

We swing for several reasons I guess. One, there are things that a single partner cannot do. I think every woman should be able to enjoy two or more men. Also women are so delightful, I can't provide that for her. Also from previous failed monogamous tries, I see that women stray too and would rather do it WITH her than be lied to. I like to see her enjoy and like the aspects it provides for me. Like I love when she puts her strap-on on but still not a cock.

[Pat_38NV 17]

I was never the poster child for chastity...I was the girl with the reputation in high school, although honestly most of it wasn't deserved.

 

That being said, I was always sexual.

 

My husband and I enjoyed watching porn videos, and one day we were watching one where the actress (I think it was Shanna Mc Cullough) was having her face massaged by two hard cocks.

 

I know..nothing special, but it was an image I couldn't erase from my mind. I got so intrigued by the thought of pleasing and being pleased by more than one man at the same time that it was my main fantasy. So we decided to look in swingers magazines so we could try to fulfill my fantasy.

 

As a result, we met a very attractive couple that fulfilled that fantasy, even though we didn't want to meet with them again (another story).

 

Oh yes, my husband didn't mind helping me to fulfill that fantasy at all....lol

[OhioCouple 40]

Jamie pretty much sums it up for us. "Why not?"

 

We both had been married before, we definitely were not each others first partners and one of the things we discussed a lot was just being open with each other at all times.

 

We went from fantasy stage to seeking stage and our original intent was to find a bi-female so that I could explore further. In addition to the fact that I've yet to run across a man that didn't want to have a harem of females crawling all over him. Well, we all know how difficult that is, so we scratched that and sought out couples. I was a tad hesitant about it, just because I didn't know if I could share myself with another man. The end result was not only that I could, I could have a lot of fun doing so and it drives my husband wild! Which makes for one hell of a long after glow!

 

How it has ended up working out for us, is that it opened up even more fantasies and we have been able to achieve darn near all of them with couples. There are a whole lot of variables with four and not as many with three. We've yet to have anyone complain about sitting out for a bit. Sometimes you need a breather anyway. Plus it is a lot of fun to watch.

[luvadub 15]

i like to be with another women and this is a way married couples can get together and the men can watch the women having fun we have done some full swing a few years back but have not found the right couple to do that with so far. my husband or I have a problem with the woman on one and on the other one i had a problem with the male. but, that dont mean we would not do it again if the right couple comes along we may do that again. so, for now it is easy just us women to put on shows for the men

[shagfourr 15]

Also like the WHY NOT??? Why not explore the sexual nature that we all ahve within us but alot are afraid to let go of. We have a wonderful sex life, but do enjoy the extra added sexual energy that a bi experience can give us both, or a MFM or a FMF or a 4some or a social club dance... Just about anything that we partake in extra charges us up and makes thangs very very interesting to say the least....

[Quin 17]

I gotta go with the others on "Why NOT?"

 

I simply have no desire to become monogamous with one person. Variety is the spice of life and I want as many and much spices as I can possibly get in my lifetime. Swinging is definitely not something new or something that's happened just within the last century. All through history there is evidence and records of wife swapping, group sex, orgies, etc. In the very earliest of tribes the women weren't inclusive only to their *mate*. They were shared within the tribe (and sometimes with other tribes as an offering of goodwill). And this doesn't include just heterosexual sex, in many primitive societies, sex between two men was not frown upon and may have been indulged in just as much as hetero sex. Although there are differing opinions on when this exactly happened, the idea of monogamy came along much later in history swinging (excuse the pun) the pendulum from sexual freedom (for lack of a better word right now) to the theory of being with only one person in a monogamous relationship. IMHO, as human beings became more evolved, more intelligent and began incorporating whatever religion (religion, not spirituality) within their lives the more monogamous human beings became.

[bill&sabrina 22]

All I can say after reading Quin's post is. Wow!!!

 

Bill

 

[shagfourr 15]

Touche' Quin!!! Yes variety is the spice of life; and we are with you, try as many of them spices as possible. Cannot get the same flavor from all the spices, so may as well add spices to get the flavor(s) you are looking for... My spouse and I discuss alot of thangs, and have tried so many thangs together, but there is almost always something we learn whilst swinging with another couple or whatever that we can use in our own sex life to make it all the more better. The sex with others can be extremely good, but the love we make and have with each other is the best... Although tis nice to try out some of those spices we have found we like with with each other too :) :) B & L

[coupleproyect 15]

I LOVED the Why Not? answer! It was hilarious and so true!! Why not make life easier.

 

Listen, The #1 problem in marriages that causes divorces and suffering is .....?? Infidelity. Why? Because we ARE sexual animals. And we want to pretend we are not. That's why we try and try harder to be faithful, and at the end we fail even when we adore our spouse. We think, we stop ourselves from doing it, we try not to "think" about that gorgeous men or woman we met at the supermarket, why? Because we do love our spouse and we don't want to lose years and years of a good marriage and a family. A family that most men and women would give their lives for. People just want a fantasy, just sex, that's it. That's why men stray (women too) and if the spouse discovers the infidelity, they cry and ask to be forgiven. It was not love at all, it was the excitement of a NEW thing, a fantasy, a turn-on moment, and that is it. They go back home because they LOVE their family. And nothing will change that.

 

Well, let's get smart then. If that sexual urge comes to women and men as well, why not do it together? Why fight it? In the begining is hard to say everything to your partner, your secrets your fantasies, specially if they are "bi", but you know what, in the end you will never be lied to, you will be there. He will enjoy a new woman, you will enjoy too, and your relationship will be closer. More open. Totally open. No lies, no going behind your back. That what hurts the most the lying.

 

And it's nonsense to be with just one person forever, and stop yourself from trying new adventures when there are so many fishes in the sea! You don't want to lie to your wife or husband but you want to have other sex experiences too in your lifetime.

 

You know what? You can do both, without losing one. Swinging. Even if it is from time to time. Or threesomes or whatever you two crave. You will be more excited, your sexual life will be powerful, and every time you two make love will remember and fantasize and it will be great.

 

That's my opinion!! Let's not fight natural life! We are not made to be monogamous, I was raised to believe in it but life has show me the reality, we are NOT!

[Quin 17]

Quote

The sex with others can be extremely good, but the love we make and have with each other is the best

 

I'm not going to debate this at all, but only bring up that you make love with your spouse...that's totally different than sex. Making love involves emotions, it appeases the emotional side and while sating the sexual need, it's a bit deeper than sex. Sex is more animalisitic, it's raw and emotion-less. And the feeling that you come away with after sex, is not the same feeling that you get when you've made love.

[N00bs 15]

Thanks for all the great responses

I still can't answer the question myself, since we've yet to take the leap, but all the different responses sure have made me think.

[luvs13 15]

we are new to Swingers and have not jumped into anything yet.... we have done threesome with women only. I guess for me I think as long as we're both comfortable and open it would be the ultimate experiences. I would rather share together then going behind each others back. well I can't wait and I'm hoping to get some friendships on the way!!!