Those sickening couples that love each other so much!

[NandTfromCA 84]

MoonLightKiss’s resent experience (still all mushy inside after reading it) just inspired this thread: We love to see couples in love!!! We adore each other…I mean absolutely, head over heals, lust, love, respect, long for, adore each other. And we can’t hide it when we are together.

 

When we see that kind of bond with another couple it shoots their attractiveness rating through the roof. We’re not talking about kissyface and other blatant PDA’s but rather the way a couple looks at each other, talks about each other, subtly touches each other…major turn on!

 

The questions- Is it a turn on for you? It would be great to hear from either side of the opinion.

[2jersey 16]

Hopefully, this is not considered bad etiquette, but we're going to quote directly from the profile of one of the couple's we are attracted to:

 

"This is essential...PLEASE BE TENDER AND CARING TOWARDS EACH OTHER. A huge part of this is to see how you treat and care for one another and how we can all share our most intimate moments."

 

This statement is an indication to us that this couple is probably very tender and caring towards one another - and this is a major turn on for us. It also makes us feel very safe.

[TNT 1,155]

I wouldn't necessarily call it a "turn on" but, it definitely warms my heart when I see couples like that

 

In fact, we know quite a few couples that are just really into each other (a few of them are here on the board ) and they are the ones that we really like spending time with...with or without sex being involved.

 

It's always been a great compliment to mine and Ted's relationship when friends, swinging and vanilla, ask what our secret is and/or comment that they've rarely seen a couple like us.

 

The biggest two compliments though, came from... 1) Our oldest daughter after our grand-daughter was born...she told me that she had told her husband that she wanted her daughter to grow up just like she had, in a home where she knew that her parents loved each other. 2) Our second daughter writing a college paper and using her father and I as examples as to what love meant to her...she got an A BTW . To me there's just no greater compliment than your children recognizing the rarity of the love their parents have for each other.

 

 

Teresa

[VanHlebar 187]

I agree that I wouldn't call it a turn on, but it is something that MrsVan and I look for in a couple. We actually had dinner once with a couple that through the entire evening, not once did the wife or husband even touch each other.

 

We really respond well to those couples that show their love for each other. Just touching hands at dinner, or they have that look in their eyes when they look at each other. It is very important to us when looking at couples that we can see they love and care for each other. If that isn't there, then we most likely will not play with them.

 

-Van

[intuition897 2,179]

Oh man, you guys are so right!

 

The first couple we ever met we discovered this. The guy was a jerk and treated his wife with complete disrespect. The woman was just in it to keep him happy and to quote her loosely, she said if he was going to do it anyway, he might as well bring it home so she could enjoy it, too.

 

We've noticed this, too: that couples in love with each other are infinitely more attractve to us than couples who are not. When the jealousy and insecurity are not there, there's just that much less chance of running into unwanted drama, and a VERY good chance that you can have a good time with them...because you don't have to walk on eggshells around them. Knowing your swing partner is having a good time is pleasurable. When they're not, it just isn't any fun!

[EvilMJ 65]

of course i had to jump in and add my two cents.

 

I love my husband very much and we are quite devoted to each other and we support each other in everything we do. But our personalities are such that we are just not 'touchy feely' people. I am not the hand holding type of girl, I don't need someone constantly touching me, I am not a cuddler.

 

However when we get together we like to joke a lot and have a good time. So I guess sometimes it's perception. If you looked at us you are not going to see us gazing into each other eyes (that usually sets one of us off into giggles), or holding hands, or being lovey dovey. So while we may not act as others who are in love do, we are indeed very much in love.

 

For me is it about respect and consideration. We treat each other as we wish to be treated and we too are attracted to those that are the same. There is nothing worse than me than someone treats their SO badly adn talks down to them.

[NandTfromCA 84]

...we are quite devoted to each other and we support each other in everything we do. But our personalities are such that we are just not 'touchy feely' people...

 

...we like to joke a lot and have a good time. So I guess sometimes it's perception. If you looked at us you are not going to see us gazing into each other eyes...So while we may not act as others who are in love do, we are indeed very much in love.

 

For me is it about respect and consideration...

It does change based on ones perception but if you are in love, it probably shows. You show it by joking, others show it by touching. It's endearing either way. Eye gazing, might actually be a little over the top for us too. The subtle things are what we usually key in on.

 

As you stated though, whether in love or not, they do have to be respectful and considerate to each other and everyone else.

 

We also wouldn't say that a couple has to appear madly in love to get in our pants. It is just a big turn on. Not a "I'm gonna go touch myself to the thought of this couple loving each other" turn on, but you know what we mean. For us, it ranks up there with dorky humor and kindness.

 

Final thought- To each there own. Some people might actually be turned off by it. Everyone has their individual criteria.

[NandTfromCA 84]

...To me there's just no greater compliment than your children recognizing the rarity of the love their parents have for each other.

Forgot to address this. Very cool post Teresa!

[kandr2000 15]

Although I didnt read all the posts I just want to say....I used to hate seeing people so much in love, it really made me sick. After having a very bad first marriage I never thought it was meant for me. I had a cousin who got married and cried as he watched his bride walk down the aisle. At that point I realized my marriage was over. I longed for that kind of love, and I deserved it.

 

About a year after I left my first husband, I met the love of my life. We moved into together two weeks after we met, and have been together ever since. If there was ever such thing as soul-mates this is it. We have maybe had 3 big fights, always make up with hugs and kisses shortly after. So now I would say we are one of the those couples. HE opens doors for me, we kiss, hold hands, and still have very passionate hot sex. He is the love of me life, funny thing is we crossed paths soooo many times before, worked at the same places, attended the same church, had some of the same friends. We just didnt meet until the time was right. I used to dream for my night in shining armor, and I found him.

 

We love to see people inlove and it is a turn on.

[WesternSwing 504]

Seeing other couples that are definitely in-love is a major turn-on for us, and something we look for. It makes us happy to be around happy people. Postive energy makes a big difference in anything, whether it's just going to a club for drinks or getting naked together.

 

We love couples in-love! And we notice it now more then we ever did. Even when walking through the mall we'll comment on those we see that are just blatantly in-love with each other. It's a good feeling.

 

You can also tell when a couple is not totally in-love or if they are having problems, and the last thing we want to do is play with such a couple and create more drama for them afterwards.

 

Mr. WS

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

Seeing other couples that are definitely in-love is a major turn-on for us, and something we look for. It makes us happy to be around happy people. Postive energy makes a big difference in anything, whether it's just going to a club for drinks or getting naked together.

 

It's that kind of attitude that is so attracking to others and what we look for in others. Do you want to talk to the couple standing in opposite corners of each other with their arms crossed. Looking like they are only there because the other one wants too. Or do you want to talk to the couple standing across from each other with that look of your only 2 steps from me but I love you soo much look in their eye when they look at each other.

 

I for one would rather have have the latter. I know how awesome it feels when people tell me how I just glow because it's written all over my face about how crazy I am for Mr. Menage and Mrs. Menage.

 

We love couples in-love! And we notice it now more then we ever did. Even when walking through the mall we'll comment on those we see that are just blatantly in-love with each other. It's a good feeling.

 

You can also tell when a couple is not totally in-love or if they are having problems, and the last thing we want to do is play with such a couple and create more drama for them afterwards. Mr. WS

 

Where there are "issues" it obvious and when things are balanced and right it's equally as obvious. This is what I refer to as my dramadar! lol Helps us to deflect any potential drama issues to some degree. But personally I'm a firm believer in you get what you give. So I choose LOVE! and as a result everyone else gets a little of it as a bonus.

 

The Other Mrs. Menage............

[Sweet_Candy 54]

We're often asked if we are newlyweds even after 10 years. We are defiantly attracted to other couples like us who seem to be in Love. Not sure if it's true but we feel there's less drama with these couples.

[BiWoman33 15]

As an unattached woman, I , too, love to see that bond between a couple. It really is assuring to know the people you are with are loving people, and not just belt notchers. ANd since I can relate to the profound happiness they feel, even though I am not currently in a relationship, it just feels good. The only time I couldn't stand seeing happy couples was after a painful break-up and walking through the park seeing couples everywhere just hurt and reminded me of what I was missing....it soon passed.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Our first SB Meet Up experience was in Indy two years ago. We were amazed how many of the couples looked like us - holding hands as they walked from restaurant to dessert stop.

 

We've always been that way - so much so that one girl at work admited that when she first saw us she thought we were having an affair; which we quickly assured her that we were

 

Is it a turn on? Not really - secure marriages are in whatever form they take. We are the mushy, lovey, touchy types that will probably be that way when we are sneaking back and forth to each other's rooms at the nursing home. But we realize that other folks display their "crazy-ness" for each other in different ways.

 

BUT - when we meet a couple who are obviously in love - totally mad for each other - deeply connected and undoubtedly soul mates - we get a little extra excited about them

 

Spoomonkey

[Tybee Swing 286]

When we see that kind of bond with another couple it shoots their attractiveness rating through the roof. We’re not talking about kissyface and other blatant PDA’s but rather the way a couple looks at each other, talks about each other, subtly touches each other…major turn on!

 

The questions- Is it a turn on for you?

 

Yes, absolutely! We are that kind of couple, very much in love and very connected. Like you said, it's not about the PDA's of other couples necessarily, it's about their connection - you can sense it from across the room. It's the way they relate to each other, the closeness, the passion, the sparks between them. Total turn-on! We find that couples like this are very hot to be intimate with. Sparks will be flying in the room. Also, like many people said, they are so much more comfortable & fun to be with, because of the security and bond they share between them.

[jandg 25]

I have always opened doors for my wife, and we always hold hands when we are walking. Not too long ago, an older couple (in their 70's) stopped me in the parking lot to ask if we were newlyweds. I told them we've been on a twenty-year honeymoon.

 

We recently renewed our vows in a limo at one of the drive-through chapels in Las Vegas.

 

I'm looking forward to the next twenty years .

[dezaray 15]

GREAT TOPIC!

 

Were new to this and actually havn't talked about this together, so I will speak for myself. The 2 couples we've had soft swaps with thus far, didn't really appear to be "in-love". If they are, they didn't show it in the way that I show love or like to be shown. This post has made me think more on this, and I think seeing our playmate couple act affectionate and loving toward one another would give me a great sense of comfort and security.

 

If you agree that this is a good thing, do you think it's about feeling secure?

 

We have thought about this in reverse tho... how we appear to others we meet. Were a new couple (5 months) and new to this lifestyle, however in such a short time we have grown quite a strong bond on many levels.

 

HOWEVER.... I'm a Leo, and he's an Aries so we butt heads sometimes. We can both be extremely stubborn, impatient, and impulsive, and at times it really affects our relationship negatively. We don't always agree on things when it comes to this lifestyle, and it's taken a lot of comunication, and effort on both our parts, and sometimes it does affect our body language, and we may act less affectionate toward one another until we resolve the issue. We hold onto what's beneath the surface stuff and push onward together, still in search of our desires.

 

So my question is this... do people that are more experienced in the lifestyle shun those like us that arent? for fear of drama? if they can sense were not exactly on the same page all the time.... or do they understand that it takes time for newbies to work through all the ins-N-outs? (LOL no pun intended)

[WesternSwing 504]

HOWEVER.... I'm a Leo, and he's an Aries so we butt heads sometimes. We can both be extremely stubborn, impatient, and impulsive, and at times it really affects our relationship negatively. We don't always agree on things when it comes to this lifestyle, and it's taken a lot of comunication, and effort on both our parts, and sometimes it does affect our body language, and we may act less affectionate toward one another until we resolve the issue. We hold onto what's beneath the surface stuff and push onward together, still in search of our desires.

Mrs. WS is an Aries and I'm a Cancer... I'm soft in the middle with hard outer shell and she has to run head-on into everything she does. We are not supposed to be compatible at all, but our differences have made us become much better communicators then we were in our first marriages and thus we have been able to overcome allot of the challenges of having two very different personalities. I always joke that I'm constantly need to be reminded I'm loved, needed, and desired and she's more like "I already told you once today I love you, now shut up!". But like we were once told, she has to tone down the combativeness and I have to learn to not be so sensitive about everything.

 

We are definitely a mush couple though. We live together, drive to and from work together, and work together, and we still can't seem to get enough of each other... it's sick really.

 

So my question is this... do people that are more experienced in the lifestyle shun those like us that arent? for fear of drama? if they can sense were not exactly on the same page all the time.... or do they understand that it takes time for newbies to work through all the ins-N-outs? (LOL no pun intended)

There is a definite feeling around a couple who is really in love, even if they don't show it exactly like we do (we are always touching in one way or another). It's in things like how they treat each other, do they sit together or lean away from each other, do they care about what the other is saying and really listen... stuff like that. It is more then evident if a couple is really in love or not. You can't fake it. And not everybody is always on the same page everyday, but you can tell if they really enjoy being together or not.

 

Mr. WS

[kandr2000 15]

BTW...Im a leo and he is a pisces......water and fire baby! What is even funnier is my exhusband was pisces and his exwife was leo. We are not suppose to be compatable but are very much in love. We are definatley, soul-mates!!!! He is working graveyards and Im miserable without him here to hold me....lol.

[Amanda69 24]

Definately a must for us. We want to know the other couple is happy in their life and their decisions around swinging. We don't want to get pulled into another couples drama.

 

When I (female) was playing as a single I hooked up with a couple I used to travel to visit on at least one weekend a month. It was great at first but then they started to get a bit more comfortable with me and the fighting in front of me happened. It really turned me off the couple and after a few weekends of this I never went back.

[beaverz 18]

We are new to this lifestyle so we haven’t had much experience, but I would think it would be a major turn off to meet a couple that doesn’t respect each other or that is not completely comfortable with each other. Even in the vanilla world we don’t want to be around couples that don’t respect each other, and unfortunately we have a few married friends that are a bummer to be around.

 

It will be interesting how others will perceive us as a couple. We’ve been together for over 22 years since we were both in our late teens. We are extremely comfortable with each other. We some times say things or joke around with each other that others may not understand. We do hold hands when we are out, but we really are not a lovey dovey couple.

 

We are very lucky to be able to spend a tremendous amount of time together, we both have our own businesses and we try to help each other out as much as possible. I hate the thought of ever having to get a real job and not being able to spend the time together.

 

Early on we lost many friends because we were one of “Those sickening couples that love each other so much” and still are! We both were committed to each other pretty much from day one and placed each other above family and friends, which pissed off many of them. I heard I was pussy whipped and she heard I was one of those controlling guys. Now many of them tell us “I wish I had a relationship like yours”, which is a great compliment.

[The Fuse 1,012]

We definitely find it attractive when a couple is obviously in love with one another. They don't have to be demonstrative...just look at each other in that way and consistently do things that show they love and respect one another. It's the look that says, "I'm so happy with you, you're swell, and are you having fun, dear?" And there's something in the way some couples' eyes look that reflects the deep, long-time bond they enjoy...the horizon seems further away, in both directions, if that makes any sense.

 

Mr. Fuse and I have always been one of those couples that annoy our friends by kissing and holding hands too much in front of others, always touching, etc. Maybe we go too far. But we are pretty sure our swing partners know we have a strong bond and that they appreciate that in us too.

 

When we met the couple we did our first full swap with, the gentleman said "I knew she was The One the first time I touched her back to guide her onto the dance floor." I melted into a puddle right then and there.

 

Jandg, I love the line about the 20-year honeymoon!

[Tybee Swing 286]

They don't have to be demonstrative...just look at each other in that way and consistently do things that show they love and respect one another. It's the look that says, "I'm so happy with you, you're swell, and are you having fun, dear?" And there's something in the way some couples' eyes look that reflects the deep, long-time bond they enjoy...

 

I love the way you said that!! You can see it in the way they cherish one another. We totally agree, too.

[TNT 1,155]

I heard I was pussy whipped

 

Ted has heard that before...his response is usually "Yep, and I like it" with a big on his face.

 

 

 

Teresa

[twoferfun69 15]

Sigh....... I wish those that think we are being "sickening" could see in our hearts, the love we have for one another. How deeply we DO love each other. I could not imagine.....well, wait, yeah I can. I lived it for too many years......anyway, what we have is so wonderful, I cannot imagine ever living without it again.

Couple weekends ago, we went to the now local club, there was a group of couples that invited us to sit with them, chat, blah blah blah. One of the couples was really having fun. As she was dancing (lol...all by herself on the floor....) she was looking deeply into the eyes of her husband, seated just off the dance floor. She was already attractive, well ok, she was freakin' hot, but anyway, as Mrs and I watched her dance, and seeing how she looked at him, made us all the more attracted to her, just because....well, I don't really know why, but we both commented on how much we admired them for that.

Men, (or I guess women too) have you ever noticed how you can see a VERY attractive woman, strike up a conversation, only to realize just what a nasty person she is, and suddenly she's not quite as attractive as you thought? Kinda the same thing here. A couple seems to be more "attractive" to us if they are well connected. If he treats her like shit, then he's going to treat my wife like shit. I don't think so, junior.

Just my humble opion, as disjointed and far fetched as it is.

[LOL_OMG 130]

We have a statement in our profile that we are looking for couples who are "into each other". Our mood is almost always digging each other, and if we get with a couple who is not getting along it totally changes our mood too. We love to be with lovers...

 

You are what you eat ya know

 

Mrs

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I wonder if there is a correlation between the mushy couples and the fact that they have more sex? We have found in our house that when we go very long (more than a week) without sex we find ourselves getting agitated with each other and feeling more distant, our communication weakens, etc. However, when we have sex and the more sex we have the closer we feel and the more we want to be together, the more we cuddle and communicate and the more likely you are to see us holding hands or me sitting on his lap regardless of who may see it.

[JustMrJ 178]

I rarely go walking with my wife without ending up with my arm around her waist and hers around mine... Call us mushy, call me pussy whipped... whatever you want... I love her, she loves me and that's that!

 

We feel this is something that is very attractive to us because we don't have to worry so much about the insecurities or friction of the couple we are hanging out with.

 

I have known my wife for nearly twenty years even though we are married just over five of those.

 

She is my best friend first and my wife second. I say this because I noticed over the years that some people will treat their 'spouse' in horrible ways they would NEVER, EVER treat their best friends. After discussing this with her she agreed, so it's not all in my mind...

 

We have a lot in common and I believe we are truly soul mates.

 

We are hoping to hook up with couples just like all of you so that our affection can be shared as well as displayed (okay, call me an exhibitionist )

 

*HUGS*

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I wonder if there is a correlation between the mushy couples and the fact that they have more sex? We have found in our house that when we go very long (more than a week) without sex we find ourselves getting agitated with each other and feeling more distant, our communication weakens, etc. However, when we have sex and the more sex we have the closer we feel and the more we want to be together, the more we cuddle and communicate and the more likely you are to see us holding hands or me sitting on his lap regardless of who may see it.

 

True for us also, although I would add "good" in front of sex (well, the sex is always good, including quickies, but you know what I mean ). The underlying factor though seems to be allowing distraction to get in front of what is really important, which is so very easy to do. Work, family issues, health, and other real life things can sneak in and crush you if you aren't careful and ever vigilant to make sure it isn't happening. Even after swearing we weren't going to allow it to happen again, we periodically find ourselves letting those things have too much impact on our life together, including sex. We talk, regroup and reprioritize, and go on.

 

One thing that made us comfortable enough to take the final step into swinging was seeing how the couples we met at the first Meet-up were so into each other. As others have said, you can tell that even without any outward displays like holding hands, etc., although there is certainly nothing wrong with that and we do it too. When we see it, it is a turn-on of sorts, but not a sexual type turn-on. Instead, reassuring. It assures us they are someone we can like, respect, relate to, and connect with on some level. If those aren't there to start with, then the sexual vibe isn't going to happen for us anyway.

[driveajeepnaked 26]

I rarely go walking with my wife without ending up with my arm around her waist and hers around mine... Call us mushy, call me pussy whipped... whatever you want... I love her, she loves me and that's that!

 

We feel this is something that is very attractive to us because we don't have to worry so much about the insecurities or friction of the couple we are hanging out with.

 

I have known my wife for nearly twenty years even though we are married just over five of those.

 

She is my best friend first and my wife second. I say this because I noticed over the years that some people will treat their 'spouse' in horrible ways they would NEVER, EVER treat their best friends. After discussing this with her she agreed, so it's not all in my mind...

 

We have a lot in common and I believe we are truly soul mates.

 

We are hoping to hook up with couples just like all of you so that our affection can be shared as well as displayed (okay, call me an exhibitionist )

 

*HUGS*

 

MrJ-

 

I actually got a bit teary reading your post - it seems like something that Mr Jeep would have written. He was in a series of long term relationships where the female halves were jealous, demeaning and petty, and I was in a verbally abusive marriage with a drug addicted musician.

 

We met 5 years ago, and have not spent a night apart since then. Our looks to each other speak volumes, and I know that it shows to others as well.

 

We totally enjoy seeing the same in others, and I have to admit, that we are seeing less and less of that lately. Curiously enough, we find that we see more of that type of relationship with the couples that we travel with to Hedonism each year, from all around the country. Maybe it's just a vacation thing, or an all-you-can-drink atmosphere bbut seriously - it's totally sexy...

 

Val

[sweet_tna 680]

While it doesn't turn me on, I do enjoy seeing couples in love. And those are the couples we want to be with. Mr. Sweet and I are almost always touching when we're out together--which is funny, because I was never a "touchy-feely" person before we got together. Even if we're not touching, we're laughing and joking together.

 

As to the sex/love connection Julie mentioned, I definitely notice us being more cuddly and "in sync" with each other when the sex is regular.

 

=)

[Hot Raleigh Cpl 164]

We are very much in love and it probably shows to everyone. We try not to flaunt it too much, but the hand-holding, hugs, kisses, and special shared glances give us away. We try to contain it a little in public, just so others don't cringe and say yuck.

 

And yes, given how strongly we connect during sex -- and the fact that we're each too sexual to go long without getting some -- things are better in HRC-land then when we do frequently.

[LFM2 1,482]

We wouldn't say it turns us on as much as it warms our hearts.

 

We don't like drama, and those are the ones who are usually disrespectful of each other and what their spouse wants.

 

We do hold hands a lot and we do kiss each other a lot. We give those share those looks that only lovers share and our kids think we are absolutely disgusting. ... We know we've done good when they're telling us to S-T-O-P!!

[VANudistcpl 109]

We don't think its as much of a turn on as some people think it is. It just seems natural for us to hold hands, look deep into each others eyes, and kiss. Our kids try to distract us when we act like that in front of them. What turns us on is when another couple asks if we are newlyweds.