Wife won't swing enough for my tastes

[neoparadigm 15]

I think much of our problem has to do with our appetites for swinging...

 

I think every other week is about right, she thinks less than once a month.

 

If I don't play fairly often I feel stronger temptations from others that might play more. If I let it go and leave it up to her I feel some resentment toward her trying to cage or tame me.

 

Anyone had this problem?

[Chicup 42]

If your main reason for swinging is to avoid cheating because you can't control yourself, you are going to have an issue sooner or later no matter how often you swing.

 

While I'll be the first to say that swinging has eliminated ANY thought of cheating I could have, you have a bigger problem if you can't go two weeks just having sex with your wife without having 'temptations'.

 

If swinging is a selfish act on your part, and perhaps I'm reading to much into this, I think in the long run it will all end badly when the wife pulls the plug all together.

[neoparadigm 15]

You're probably very correct that things might end badly regardless.

 

Personally my need for swinging is that I am very sex positive... meaning I never view sex as a negative thing if both parties are consenting.

 

I have never been interested in having a woman control my desire for sex, and monogamy has never felt natural nor desirable.

 

I think finding a woman with the same views would be ideal. I am already feeling resentful it, but I do love my gal and want things to work out.. but not just on her terms only.

[Amanda69 24]

Wow anyone else seeing future issues here? As a couple in the lifestyle it shouldn't be about either individual but about you as a couple. If you can't agree on something so basic as how often what else is going to come up.

 

Also have to agree with a prior poster if you are using Swinging as an excuse to keep cheating legitimate it won't work for long.

 

I have never been interested in having a woman control my desire for sex

Supposing she gives you as much sex as you want from her, is it still about your desire for sex or your desire for sex with different partners?

 

[neoparadigm 15]

thank you Amanda69, very observant. She does give me all the sex I can handle, and at home we are fine, but I travel for weeks at a time, and we are not able to always be together... with the web and AFF... sex is everywhere. I prefer couples because I can be assured it is going nowhere... with single women, they are usually wondering if I will call again or is this going somewhere, or am I just being used... all that. And I don't like that. I have a great woman now, and she is open to me playing sometimes, like when we webcammed but

that turned bad too.

 

Getting back to the quote... I do desire other women. Always have, never will stop. And I want her to desire others as well. I don't believe humans are monogamous creatures,

and this has been proven on a biological level with certainty. To live in the truth is to live in harmony with our biological heritage. Swinging is true to that call. And I believe the most spiritually advanced souls are swingers.

[Spoomonkey 421]

personally my need for swinging is that I am very sex positive.. meaning I never view sex as a negative thing if both parties are consenting..

 

Actually - it is not "sex positive" it is positively selfish...

 

Having read you other posts, you seem to be missing the one key ingredient that healthy swinging couples have in excess - respect.

 

Your SO is not a consenting "partner in crime" to you - she is a ticket to the game. If what you write is true, she has a background in sex for money and probably (doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out) wants something with a little more foundation. Her desire for monogamy is simply her asking, "can I trust you?"

 

Your answer is obviously, "no."

 

From my experience, women can let loose and enjoy swinging most when they are 100% confident in their partner's love for them and their willingness to put the relationship above any "recreational boot-knocking."

 

You simply don't give her any reason to be confident about those things...

 

You have a sexually open, capable woman who wants to make you happy - and you are pissing it away...

 

We swing as much as WE want to. Are there times when I want to and she doesn't? Sure - so we rent a DVD, pop some popcorn and cozy up under blankets and laugh/cringe/cry (whichever reaction is appropriate for the movie or phone company ad) together.

 

Swinging is about us - and there will be an "us" long after there is no longer swinging. If having an "us" is not important to you - quit manipulating, cut your loses and let your SO find what she is looking for in someone else...

[neoparadigm 15]

yes..no doubt that trust has been a huge issue.. she does not trust me and in many ways I

am not sure she should. I do want to be 100 percent honest, but when I tell her the truth,

I get slayed to death... it is not what I was taught in counciling, (acknowledge and re direct)

it is very difficult to tell the truth when you know you are about to walk into a firing squad...

and having to give up amazing sexual opportunities is not easy.

 

For instance, there is this 26 year old girl that really likes me to attend her gangbangs. She

said I am the first that gets called, because for one...I show up.. am respectful, and perform well.. she is smoking hot, thin with a perfect body, takes DP's, loads of cum in her mouth

and face, just the nastiest, hottest sex I have ever seen, on film or not.. I have expressed

my desire for these experiences with my gal, and she just hates her.. thinks she is ugly,

too nasty, and can't believe she is raising children. I think her comments are unjustified,

and not sex positive. I can't imagine why my gal is so negative. The girl is married, her

husband is there, she can watch it on webcam if she wants, I am not leaving to be with

her and break up her marriage, no way.. but I absolutely love fucking this hot little body,

that does all the things most women won't do.. when I get home all I want to do is fuck

my gal senseless for weeks, I am so turned on.. My gal has expressed no interest in gangbangs

and I don't want her to do that if she is uncomfortable with it.. but I absolutely love it..

 

My gal fantasizes about being with two bi guys... I want her to have that, but not with me

because I am not bi.. she is free to go do that all she wants, and I will love and support her..

just not my thing, but if they all agree then that is sex positive for them..

 

If my gal's reaction was more like, "I know you like that gangbang slut, so go do your thing

because you won't get me to do that, guess it's good there are girls out there to fufill that

niche. Just wear lots of condoms sweetie, I'll see you later". or something along those lines..

but she is completely in rage.. and I am being truthful..

 

it sucks..

[neoparadigm 15]

Do men actually think of their woman as just a ticket to go?

sounds pretty degrading to me..

[samv 15]

WOW that is so true...that is exactly...exactly how i feel..you need to talk to my b/f...i tryed to explain it so many times..and you sumed it up in a few sentances WOW....

Actually - it is not "sex positive" it is positively selfish...

 

Having read you other posts, you seem to be missing the one key ingredient that healthy swinging couples have in excess - respect.

 

Your SO is not a consenting "partner in crime" to you - she is a ticket to the game. If what you write is true, she has a background in sex for money and probably (doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out) wants something with a little more foundation. Her desire for monogamy is simply her asking, "can I trust you?"

 

Your answer is obviously, "no."

 

From my experience, women can let loose and enjoy swinging most when they are 100% confident in their partner's love for them and their willingness to put the relationship above any "recreational boot-knocking."

 

You simply don't give her any reason to be confident about those things...

 

You have a sexually open, capable woman who wants to make you happy - and you are pissing it away...

 

We swing as much as WE want to. Are there times when I want to and she doesn't? Sure - so we rent a DVD, pop some popcorn and cozy up under blankets and laugh/cringe/cry (whichever reaction is appropriate for the movie or phone company ad) together.

 

Swinging is about us - and there will be an "us" long after there is no longer swinging. If having an "us" is not important to you - quit manipulating, cut your loses and let your SO find what she is looking for in someone else...

 

Spoomonkey

[neoparadigm 15]

how often do most couples swing?

attempting and actually hooking up are different things..

[Swing*8701 887]

Have you just considered a different job where you don;t travel so much ? Or, is the job simply part of the justification to cheat and your SO just justification to cheat with her in attendance ? Too me this looks like: "Gee, I can fuck other women in front of their husbands when I'm out of town and I can fuck other women in front of my SO when I'm in town--what a life !"

[Spoomonkey 421]

Do men actually think of their woman as just a ticket to go?

sounds pretty degrading to me..

 

No - which is why your posts have been so pathetic. She wants something real - you don't. Set her free...

 

Or is it, as you said:

 

having to give up amazing sexual opportunities is not easy.

[intuition897 2,179]

The words 'sex addiction' come to mind.

 

It's controlling YOU, not the other way around.

It's interfering with your relationships.

It's always on your mind (?)

You can't function normally without it.

You rationalize your behaviour (calling it 'sex positive', for example, the way a coke addict might consider him/herself 'drug positive')

You hide things from loved ones, lie, sneak, and get defensive when confronted...

 

I don't remember all the signs of addiction, but you get the idea... does the shoe fit?

[neoparadigm 15]

yes it is a great life..

why shouldn't I have it?

Isn't swinging about having you cake and Edith too?

[sexyshelby 19]

I'll just Dito Intuition on this one.

 

~SS

[Spoomonkey 421]

Isn't swinging about having you cake and Edith too?

 

No...

 

But the definition doesn't really matter. You don't exactly have your cake, do you?

[neoparadigm 15]

Isn't the day to day life stuff the most important? I think so.. before this one I was dating one

of the top models in Vegas.. HOT HOT HOT .. she's on half the billboards around town and everywhere we went... I was the envy of all men.. believe me.. and you know what I did?

I threw her ass to the curb..she moved in with me and was a total complaining high maintanence bitch.. complaining about everything... demanding I do everything for her ...

and most guys would do it and put up with it because she is so HOT.. not me..and I was so

proud to be able to kick her to the curb.. My new girl has it over her in every other way..

except looks.. my new girl is great.. treats me great .. is responsible, loving, fun, easy to be around, and fucks my brains out nightly.. we have great sex.. I'm glad we are together..

I just hope we can work through the swinging issues.. if we can.. we will be married and

happy I am sure..

 

I don't want swinging to come out of boredom like so many swingers do.. trying to spice things up.. I like the adrenalin rush of a hot group session or mfm situation.. I think she could too..

she watches much more porn than I do.. and masterbates all the time to it.. I don't masterbate at all.. reality is much better than my left hand and there are a lot of women who love the

feel and taste of my cum so I save it for them.. what is wrong with that?

[intuition897 2,179]

Isn't the day to day life stuff the most important? I think so.. before this one I was dating one

of the top models in Vegas.. HOT HOT HOT .. she's on half the billboards around town and everywhere we went... I was the envy of all men.. believe me.. and you know what I did?

I threw her ass to the curb..she moved in with me and was a total complaining high maintanence bitch.. complaining about everything... demanding I do everything for her ...

and most guys would do it and put up with it because she is so HOT.. not me..and I was so

proud to be able to kick her to the curb.. My new girl has it over her in every other way..

except looks.. my new girl is great.. treats me great .. is responsible, loving, fun, easy to be around, and fucks my brains out nightly.. we have great sex.. I'm glad we are together..

I just hope we can work through the swinging issues.. if we can.. we will be married and

happy I am sure..

 

I don't want swinging to come out of boredom like so many swingers do.. trying to spice things up.. I like the adrenalin rush of a hot group session or mfm situation.. I think she could too..

she watches much more porn than I do.. and masterbates all the time to it.. I don't masterbate at all.. reality is much better than my left hand and there are a lot of women who love the

feel and taste of my cum so I save it for them.. what is wrong with that?

:rollseyes Uh-huh...

 

And how many "real" swingers do you actually know? The values you're talking about here in this post are in complete contrast to the vast majority of posts on this board. I can't think of anyone on this board that does this out of boredom, or would agree with your views of sex and women.

 

You're going to burn out eventually.

[neoparadigm 15]

I must say... we are unique people, my gal and I, we are not the general consensus of the

swinging community. She a former porn actress and hooker, me a master single guy swinger

who played with over 150 couples in the last 3 years.. I have given in depth backgrounds here,

and am trying to find genuine advice from experience swingers ... but am finding most of you

would rather bash us than make suggestive or constructive criticism. We do love one another deeply despite our crazy antics. We have stuck it out through lots of lies and bullshit..

How many women love and get themselves off watching their SO DP the other wife with her

husband? No doubt we are different....

[Spoomonkey 421]

I have given in depth backgrounds here,

and am trying to find genuine advice from experience swingers ...

 

The problem is - you are full of crap.

 

How exactly does one earn the title "master single swinger"? Is there an on-line course? A mail order ordination? Or do you simply have to be the last to toss yogurt at some gang bang?

 

Yes - the two of you are different...

 

An imaginary hooker and a playboy wannabe...

 

If you are real, you are both dysfunctional sexual compulsives - not swingers. You have no idea what it takes to make a successful swinging marriage with the long term benefits that go with that. Which is one of the reasons that I think your tales are coming straight out of the imagination of a guy who subscribes to Penthouse...

 

If you had really wanted advice from experiences swingers, all you had to do is shut up and listen. You've received plenty of good, insightful stuff. But, since you don't want that - I'd suggest getting back to what you typically use your computer for - surfing for porn and playing pong with east Asians...

 

Good luck with that...

[neoparadigm 15]

Our situation seems to be one of unchartered territory here, these boards are filled with mostly

soccer moms I think, and husbands who can't believe that a good looking guy who wrote a creative profile on AFF in Vegas could be getting a substantial amount of action from the 50 million visitors who come to town yearly. I am not here to try to defend myself and the honesty of my posting here.

 

Let me repeat,

 

Female has dabbled in porn and prostitution, and can't seem to warm up to swinging. (maybe too vanilla for her after reading all your posts?)

 

Male has basically been a free escort to couples, enjoyed it immensly, but would like to move into a high activity level with his gal. She is resisting and he is confused and seeking answers from a swingers board where no one has seen or heard of this kind of scenario..

 

can we be respectful here?

 

thanks

[Thrax 384]

neoparadigm,

Hey, I'll admit I -- and a few others here -- have been having fun being snarky at your expense.

 

However, several people responding to you in this thread and other threads you've started have specifically and "respectfully" (no matter what some of us think of your posts) addressed your questions. Some of their replies have been in great and thoughtful detail. By your responses to their posts it is evident either the answers are going right over your head, or you are willfully ignoring them.

 

Okay, that's probably as nice as it's going to get from me. Back to snarky mode for future posts. But now I'm going to have lunch, then I'll come back here and see if I can schedule an MFM with one of those soccer mom/husbands-who-can't-believe couples you think are overpopulating the Board.

[neoparadigm 15]

There have been some great posts here and I wouldn't be sticking around if their weren't some valuable input happening. I had a long talk with my gal last night about some of this stuff here....and I will bring up her interesting comments soon..

[Chicup 42]

Neo - I think your problem here is you are not a swinger, and no swinger advice can help you. The typical happy and successful swinger is a couple who is in love, have a great sex life on their own, and want to experience new things sexually while making their own relationship stronger . Not everyone can do this, not everyone should try. We are a small percentage of the population, and a damn happy percentage.

 

Its not about getting laid more, I don't get more sex because of swinging. Its not about saving my tasty spooge for willing women. Its not about my wife controlling my sexuality. Its not about ANY of your apparent motivations. Most swingers are in fact soccer moms or will be soccer moms in the future at any rate, because they are stable, happy, and are achieving their life’s goals.

 

Your issues are not our issues. Your desires are all selfish it seems, hers are unknown, but there is nothing we could add that would be of value to you as your thoughts are alien to our way of thinking. She has sex for money, you have sex for your own ego, both are things most of us would want to stay VERY far away from.

[neoparadigm 15]

before we tread further...let's start a new post..

 

what is the definition of swinging?

 

read my new post as to the true definition.

[TeamSoBe 36]

Neo, a few people have started phrasing responses to you in terms like 'assuming hypothetically that this troll's situation were real, how would you respond..' Here's another.

 

You "need" sex too often. Nobody "needs" sex that often but a sex addict. If you had a great adventure in Vegas that spoiled you and now you think that you "need" it that often then you're still a sex addict.

 

Neo: "Hi, I have this problem. My problem is that my girlfriend can't accept that I want to have sex with strangers every single weekend of my life."

 

Us: "Neo that isn't her problem it's your problem. You should cut back a little. That would solve your problem since you already said she's willing to swing but just not so often."

 

Neo: "No I can't cut back, I'm accustomed to that much sex. I can't stop!"

 

Continuing the conversation any beyond this idiotic impasse seems like an obvious attempt on your part to create a platform for discussing your legendary sexual conquests in Vegas and thereby become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

[neoparadigm 15]

I'll take that "cutting back" is your advice.. thank you.. I'll ignore the rest and let you ponder your own inability to act respectfully here and in good faith.

 

I do however appreciate all of your comments regarless of their content.

Just trying to keep things on the up here and not get into mudslinging...

[TNT 1,155]

neoparadigm said:

Female has dabbled in porn and prostitution, and can't seem to warm up to swinging. (maybe too vanilla for her after reading all your posts?)

 

This seems to be a common attitude for many women in the sex trade. I believe that they need a sense of main stream normality in their lives.

 

Quote

Male has basically been a free escort to couples, enjoyed it immensely, but would like to move into a high activity level with his gal. She is resisting and he is confused and seeking answers from a swingers board where no one has seen or heard of this kind of scenario..

 

can we be respectful here?

 

thanks

 

I don't believe that you will be able to change her mind. It's not as if she is an innocent young housewife, morally torn, she knows her mind and this is not what she wants.

 

We've known several single males who have been roughly in your situation. So far we've seen about a 20% success rate.

 

My suggestions are much like everyone else, either ....

 

A) Give it up until she is ready, if ever...or

 

B) Give up on her and look for someone else that can give you what you want.

 

Simple choice really, which do you want most?

[neoparadigm 15]

Thank you Ted..

it is nice to hear a sincere and intelligent post here. I am really in a bind .. I do love my gal, and leaving her would not be easy...

 

But I do really love group sex situations and have done it more than my fair share and continue to enjoy it.. I did leave her and she came back to me willing to participate to make the relationship work. Now she is backing down again and I need good advice and help.. and thank you all for your brave comments however snide they sometimes are..

[TeamSoBe 36]

I did leave her and she came back to me willing to participate to make the relationship work. Now she is backing down again and I need good advice and help..

"Dear Forum, I need some advice on how to manipulate my girlfriend into letting me fuck around as much as I want every weekend. Please advise. Oh and gosh I just don't understand why I keep getting snide responses from a bunch of swingers, what hypocrites. Signed, Neo"

[neoparadigm 15]

My gal and I opened our e mail accounts to one another... Yahoo, aff everything. We are in the process of full disclosure to one another.. I thought this would be healthy and positive, yet is has been very difficult for us both...

 

If she can spread her legs for paying customers in Vegas, I think she can swing with soccer dads. But really, I would like to show her a life where she can have fun and not have to hide or sneak around from me.. and me the same.. I really don't mind her hooking if she wants to.. she if free to do whatever she pleases.. I will not control her and wish her not to do the same to me.. I would still like to play with couples on AFF with her complete knowledge and not be cheating as many of you can't seem to get through your heads.. I agree with Open and Honest, but to be judged here because I still like to play as a single or she may hook is not what this forum should be about.

 

We may be different than your definition of swinging , but we both do have sex with other people outside our relationship, so in that sense we are no different at all.

 

We might even like to have sex with you? really.

[TeamSoBe 36]

neoparadigm said:

If she can spread her legs for paying customers in Vegas, I think she can swing with soccer dads.

neoparadigm said:

I will not control her and wish her not to do the same to me..

 

You contradict yourself right there. You do want to control her. You have a specific outcome in mind that you want to bend her to and if she won't go there then you're not happy. If she escorts then you also want her to fuck guys you pick out for free. You're trying to manipulate her into having sex with people she's not into, just to make you happy. That's exploitation, not swinging.

 

She gets something out of escorting: she gets paid. What does she get out of swinging with you?

[neoparadigm 15]

let me set this straight..

I have never said that I want her to sleep with guys "I" pick out..! NEVER!

She is free to sleep with whomever she likes.. even you!

 

If she swings, she gets to keep dating me.. obviously she finds that attractive.

I have asked her this question several times.. not sure why she came back..she

says she loves me.. and I do believe her.. I really love her too..

 

We both want things to work out..

 

She IS open to swinging... we just went to an orgy in SF this last weekend..

We do seem to have different appetites for it ...hence the above thread and posts..

 

I am curious.. how often to soccer moms swing? Do soccer dad's like to more than their partners? Do you ever try to talk her into going even if she feels a bit tired or not quite in the mood? Do you ever try to persuade her if she is on the fence?

Is that manipulative? how to people deal with this? Does this cause resentment ever? These are the questions I have and would like to talk about..

 

someone bashing me and saying we are not swingers is not the purpose here..

of course we are swingers.. maybe not by your vanilla definition..

 

Is swinging all about Love? or is it just about Sex? I think that is a good question..

[TeamSoBe 36]

Questions that you would not expect to see a person ask if they had spent at least one night every week over the last three years having sex with swinging couples:

how often to soccer moms swing?

 

Do soccer dad's like to more than their partners?

 

Do you ever try to talk her into going even if she feels a bit tired or not quite in the mood?

 

Do you ever try to persuade her if she is on the fence?

 

Is that manipulative?

 

how to people deal with this?

 

Is swinging all about Love? or is it just about Sex?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Neoparadigm,

 

I have been reading alot of your posts. What are you trying to do here?

You have as far as I am concerned, completely disrespected your girlfriend in conversations about her here. Have a relationship that is completely screwed up. An outlook about yourself that is completely self-centered and information about you that is probably completely exaggerated or just plain made up.

 

I don't think you really want our opinions. I don't think our opinions will even be used by you at any level.

 

What are you trying to accomplish here?

[TeamSoBe 36]

What are you trying to accomplish here?

He's trying to get swinger couples to look him up next time they go to Vegas. He lives with his girlfriend in SF and therefore can't play there, but he travels to Vegas often alone and he figures that he can lie his way into some fun with some easy swinger women.

 

Continuing the conversation any beyond this idiotic impasse seems like an obvious attempt on your part to create a platform for discussing your legendary sexual conquests in Vegas and thereby become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

[neoparadigm 15]

just trying to be honest in posting here...

 

my experience is vast in MFM situations.. not MFMF ..

 

judging my validity here as an MFM player should not be your objective nor should proving it's reality to strangers on a message board be mine.

 

What I am here for is advice on my situation with my girlfriend, as we explore MFMF situations and I would ask that you all be respectful of that..

 

All your snide remarks are a reflection of your own fears and insecurities and not mine.

 

I will continue to post as a respectful human here unlike some of you..

[TeamSoBe 36]

my experience is vast in MFM situations..

Then you have spent hundreds of hours in the intimate company of swinging couples and you should easily be able to see that your attitude toward your girlfriend is unlike the attitudes of those 150 swinging men toward their partners.

 

If you walked into a hotel room in Vegas and got the sense that the man was manipulating his girl into fucking you and she wasn't into it, would you still fuck her?

 

Would you do an MFM with your girl and a single male stranger?

[neoparadigm 15]

If I feel the woman is not into it.. I will say no downstairs at the bar and not go further, It is rare but has happened. The majority of couples have communicated their plan of attack from the emails over the days or weeks preceding. To answer your question, my attitude is different than most of the men or husbands with their wives.. Many of the men are older with young hot wives ... and the men will willingly admit that they would like to see a younger hot stud drill their wife into ecstasy as only they could have in their youth.. There are many reasons why couples MFM..

 

I could go on for hours on the subject and probably write a book on it.. The reasons, and fantasies go on and on.. I always request to speak to the woman on the phone before we meet to make sure she is up for it... I always ask a few basic questions.. limitations, anal, dp, cumming where? What would your husband like to see, and I talk to him too..that way everyone gets what they want..

 

I think what couples are most concerned with is .. will he be respectful? will he perform well? take direction? make us comfortable? MFM in my opinion is the best and easiest swinging situation for all.. FMF is usually some drama with the women.. a whole other universe.. MFMF is very mathematically complex with 12 things that must click to happen.. MFM is easy.. the girl gets all the attention, the guys get off on her getting off..everyone wins.. slam dunk 3 pointer every time..

 

MFMF is much more difficult... or I wouldn't be here..

 

just do the math sometime.. 12! things must line up..

[Thrax 384]

I could go on for hours on the subject and probably write a book on it...

Times a' wastin', stud! Get off the Board and go for it! Now!

 

Thrax

[neoparadigm 15]

thanks but I'll manage my time as I see fit and not how you see fit..

Swinging is about letting go of control not assuming it..

 

maybe that advice you will find helpful..

 

Now... how often does everyone swing?

[TeamSoBe 36]

To answer your question, my attidute is different than most of the men or husbands with their wives..

Right, they treat their wives with respect. You treat your girlfriend like a (free) whore.

 

MFM can be simpler than MFMF but not always. FMF is often the simplest. Depends on the people. You may like MFM over MFMF or FMF because you don't relate well with women except with your dick. I like FMF better because I get along better with women than men. Personal preference. Has nothing to do with getting your girlfriend to turn tricks for free more often for you.

 

You're very into MFM when it's you getting another guy's girl. You don't seem to be at all interested in MFM with your girlfriend. You don't seem to even be interested in finding out what she's interested in.

[neoparadigm 15]

Actually, she is most into really hot chicks.. she likes to watch me dp and fuck other wives..

she does not like other men inside of her .. so she claims.. I am fine with MFM with her and she is courting a single guy on aff right now for this weekend in SF... to try and get over her current feelings about it.. I think she would prefer to not swing at all... but she knows that it is part of dating me.. I like it, and as a good partner she wants to please me..

 

I do want her to learn to enjoy it.. and I do want her to be comfortable with MFMF if possible..

I think most guys want a piece of her if I am going to fuck their wife.. I totally understand..

She has suggested I go back to AFF as a single with the stipulations that she comes along only to watch and not play.. not sure many couples would go for that.. there are a lot of women out there that just don't want another woman around period.. I know the math gets ugly when you bring in that 4th person into the mix..

 

It's not easy..

[TeamSoBe 36]

If my girlfriend didn't like dogs then I wouldn't make her spend every weekend with me at the dog park.

 

If I were a girl and I didn't like dogs and he made me spend every weekend at the dog park then I would keep dating single guys until I found a cat person. Or maybe a respectful dog person.

[curiousagain 326]

Spoomonkey said:

From my experience, women can let loose and enjoy swinging most when they are 100% confident in their partner's love for them and their willingness to put the relationship above any "recreational boot-knocking."

 

You simply don't give her any reason to be confident about those things...

 

You have a sexually open, capable woman who wants to make you happy - and you are pissing it away...

 

Swinging is about us - and there will be an "us" long after there is no longer swinging. If having an "us" is not important to you - quit manipulating, cut your loses and let your SO find what she is looking for in someone else...

 

A great Truth

 

TNT said:

 

A) Give it up until she is ready, if ever...or

 

B) Give up on her and look for someone else that can give you what you want.

 

Simple choice really, which do you want most?

 

Another great truth.

 

 

TeamSoBe said:

He's trying to get swinger couples to look him up next time they go to Vegas. He lives with his girlfriend in SF and therefore can't play there, but he travels to Vegas often alone and he figures that he can lie his way into some fun with some easy swinger women.

 

And yet another.

 

Should I go on? There are many many of them in replies to your original post, including that you're a troll. I think most people replying to you are doing it out of boredom or hoping to make sure anyone new to swinging recognizes you for what you are and gets to read the truths they have replied with.

 

If you had really been with even a few swingers you wouldn't be asking the things you have and if you really had a woman who actually took care of you and stated and acted like she loved you, the frequency of your swinging wouldn't be in question. Unless of course you really are like you come across as in your post.

 

You know, it's people like you who have caused me to give up on message boards except for visiting this one occasionally. Rather than being "entertaining information" or "informative entertainment" people like you spread disinformation and cause aggravation to satisfy your own warped sense of entertainment and just cause me to have less and less faith in the species. Well, that and the fact that Jerry Springer still has high ratings.

 

But.......whatever, I won't waste any more time on threads with you in them and in that you may find some satisfaction, but not nearly as much as I will. You are like some high maintenance flower that without profuse attention will simply wither, die on the vine, and fade away.

[TeamSoBe 36]

I think most people replying to you are doing it out of boredom or hopeing to make sure anyone new to swinging recognizes you for what you are and gets to read the truths they have replied with.

...and yet another great truth.

[Spoomonkey 421]

We might even like to have sex with you? really..

 

With the relationship you guys have? The cheating - the lying - the inability to communicate or be on the same page...

 

No thanks.

 

The couples we play with are mostly like us - solid, mature, connected.

[Spoomonkey 421]

For Curious...

 

Yeah - boredom...

 

But it entertains and helps the beer go down

 

neoparadigm said:

If she swings, she gets to keep dating me..

 

Ah - the beauty of conditional love, wrapped in the burrito shell of denial. She gets to keep dating you? How very magnanimous.

 

neoparadigm said:

I am curious.. how often to soccer moms swing? Do soccer dad's like to more than their partners? Do you ever try to talk her into going even if she feels a bit tired or not quite in the mood? Do you ever try to persuade her if she is on the fence?

Is that manipulative? how to people deal with this? Does this cause resentment ever? These are the questions I have and would like to talk about..

 

No...

 

Either we both want to or neither will...

 

It is called respect...

 

Works like a charm

[intuition897 2,179]

let me set this straight..

I have never said that I want her to sleep with guys "I" pick out..! NEVER!

She is free to sleep with whomever she likes.. even you!

 

If she swings, she gets to keep dating me.. obviously she finds that attractive.

I have asked her this question several times.. not sure why she came back..she

says she loves me.. and I do believe her.. I really love her too..

 

We both want things to work out..

 

She IS open to swinging... we just went to an orgy in SF this last weekend..

We do seem to have different appetites for it ...hence the above thread and posts..

 

I am curious.. how often to soccer moms swing? Do soccer dad's like to more than their partners? Do you ever try to talk her into going even if she feels a bit tired or not quite in the mood? Do you ever try to persuade her if she is on the fence?

Is that manipulative? how to people deal with this? Does this cause resentment ever? These are the questions I have and would like to talk about..

 

someone bashing me and saying we are not swingers is not the purpose here..

of course we are swingers.. maybe not by your vanilla definition..

 

Is swinging all about Love? or is it just about Sex? I think that is a good question..

 

Fucking yourself silly - in my soccer mom opinion - doesn't make you a swinger. You really don't see anything wrong with anything you've said here, do you? You beg for respect here, but give none. There are so many things about your posts that I find disrespectful towards the members of this board that I wouldn't even know where to start quoting. The advice you were given here has addressed you as a person, and is given out of concern for your health and long-term happiness as a person. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Would you rather we kiss your ass?

 

You keep picking through the advice and observations that have been given here and choosing the ones that come closest to stroking your ego. I'm sorry, but one can't help but notice the haughty overtones of condescension in your posts. The fact is, all your bragging about 150+ couples would put you off our playdar long before we had conversed long enough with you to find out you're completely narcissistic. Search my posts. You'll find that I'm not in the habit of bashing people who have not brought it on themselves. You can't look down your nose at people and expect them NOT to react to it. I can't help but get the feeling you don't think much of us, because we're mere soccer moms and dads. Peons. Peasants. This isn't insecurity talking, here, because I think the feeling is mutual. The idea that you determine someone's value on a "hotness" scale - how pretty they are, how many pornos or magazines they've been in, how many velvet ropes they've blown their way past, how many people they've fucked - is so foreign to me that it's almost cartoon-like. Life is not a porno.

 

Maybe we're not all cut out for all night gang-bangs, and the rest of the Porn Land amusement park you've described...but mister, you sure as hell wouldn't cut it in our world either, and I don't care if you look like Brad Pitt, have a cock like a horse, and have more money than an oil tycoon. It can't make up for the attitude. I guess I really can't offer you the advice you're looking for, because I simply cannot relate. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.

[neoparadigm 15]

thanks for your opinion... I do respect people here.. and I never said I didn't like having sex

wit soccer mom's.. I do..very much..

 

What I am saying is.. I think my situation is a bit left field here.. how many women here have hooked and done real pro porn? How many guys here have been torn between a seemingly  endless stream of erotic nights and the loving arms of a potential slut wife? If you can't relate, that is fine.. I was maybe hoping to find someone here who could speak from experience, and not just frustrated soccer moms who swing out of boredom from there once dead beat husbands. If the sex is really so great at home and in love and all.. why not just stay in the old vanilla world? answer to all .... because swinging if fun, erotic, slightly scary, and maybe addictive. The return of the thrill of the chase, the mystery of the unknown.. all these and more..

 

I have admitted that I am having trouble giving all the hot strange pussy coming my way for one girl who promises me far less on a sexual level but more on a daily life level..

 

I may be unique here in that for most guys.. swinging offers an expansion of their horizons,

where for me.. it is the opposite is some ways..

 

I had sex with over 50 great women last year and really enjoyed it.. my girl is proposing going to a club once a month..or less.. that's a big cut in sushi dinners..

 

Now I am not here to brag or boost my ego or I would just stay in that world..

I do want a relationship with an amazing woman.. so I am asking for advice from people who can either relate or speculate with intelligence what it is we both have to go through to get to a point where we are both on the same page.. any can enjoy our sex lives freely and openly like you all seem to claim.. (gee I really wonder though)