Wife won't swing enough for my tastes

[Thrax 384]

... I do respect people here...

Everybody sing the Thrax version:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

 

I was maybe hoping to find someone here who could speak from experience, and not just frustrated soccer moms who swing out of boredom from there once dead beat husbands.

 

...not quite what it means to me...

 

I had sex with over 50 great women last year and really enjoyed it.. my girl is proposing going to a club once a month..or less...that's a big cut in sushi dinners...

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

 

Now I am not here to brag or boost my ego...

 

Take out the crap, speak honestly...

 

Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me...

[Spoomonkey 421]

I was maybe hoping to find someone here who could speak from experience, and not just frustrated soccer moms who swing out of boredom from there once dead beat husbands.

 

Have you ever met a swinger?

 

I ask because you have no idea what we are like...

[TeamSoBe 36]

I think my situation is a bit left field here.. how many women here have hooked and done real pro porn?

If you only had any IDEA what I've participated in lately...

How many guys here have been torn between a seemingly endless stream of erotic nights and the loving arms of a potential slut wife?

Check.

If you can't relate, that is fine.. I was maybe hoping to find someone here who could speak from experience, and not just frustrated soccer moms who swing out of boredom from there once dead beat husbands.

One of the biggest ironies in all of this is that my real life is pretty much like the one that you're fantasizing about and you just continue to not realize that. My last three years since I've moved to South Beach have been pretty outrageous. My hot slutty wife's big tits and my very successful nightclub promotion career have allowed us to harvest our tiny little island's beautiful crop at will over the last few years. My life has been packed with all of the deviant and quasi-legal fun and games with outrageously hot tourists and strippers and escorts and professional dominatrices and all of that other stuff that you're fantasizing about. But without the sexual compulsion and misogyny.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

neoparadigm said:

What I am saying is.. I think my situation is a bit left field here.. how many women here have hooked and done real pro porn? How many guys here have been torn between a seemingly endless stream of erotic nights and the loving arms of a potential slut wife?

 

I do want a relationship with an amazing woman.. so I am asking for advice from people who can either relate or speculate with intelligence what it is we both have to go through to get to a point where we are both on the same page.. any can enjoy our sex lives freely and openly like you all seem to claim.. (gee I really wonder though)

OK, perhaps I'm bored too, but what the hell.... I have to feed the troll...

 

I'm not a soccer mom. I've never hooked or done porn, although I've been asked to do porn, I've modeled for nationally known photographers and stripped (OK, I stripped once...), so I'm not a frustrated, frumpy housewife as you seemed to imply we all are (as if Intuition could EVER be mistaken for a frustrated housewife....her smile looks pretty satisfied to me ).

 

So, speaking as a bona fide hot chick, nobody, not even my husband, had to "GO THROUGH" anything to get me to swing. We decided together. If I had not wanted to swing, I guarantee, nothing would have changed my mind. Not even the threat of losing a gem like you.

 

There is no intelligent way to get her on the same page as you. There's no magic potion to slip in her drink. She ain't interested...so, at this point, your choices are simple and you've already said what they are:

 

Quote

torn between a seemingly endless stream of erotic nights and the loving arms of a potential slut wife?

 

Take out the potential slut part. Does she have to post a billboard? Must she shout it from the rooftops? All your wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming will only push her further away. I'm beginning to think that by doing so, you'll do her a favor.

 

Pepper

[intuition897 2,179]

EDIT>> I was going to post something else here, but after reading all of Neoparadigm's most recent posts on this thread, it's pretty clear he is still struggling with some issues.

 

Neo, while I'm sure you feel that you have graduated beyond the "beginner's stuff", humour us. Check out Getting Started and the FAQ section. This will give you a better idea of why your posts are being met with as much resistance as they are.

 

The people here that you assume are bored, pathetic wannabes are in fact some extraordinary people. It's rather unkind to assume as much without verifying your facts. The two links above will give you some insight into the way we more conservative swingers live the lifestyle...and make no mistake, it's definitely a lifestyle. We just have a more laid back approach to things. We don't have to be swinging on fast-forward to get the benefits from it.

[NandTfromCA 84]

Ok Neoparadigm- This sucker is loooooooongggggg so bare with me. You had a ton of questions and received a ton of responses, so there's alot to address.

 

Here's some validation:

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to fuck someone different every week, or day, or whatever.

 

There is nothing wrong, in and of itself, with your GF getting paid to have sex with people.

 

There is nothing wrong with you wishing she would join you when you fuck other people.

 

If you are so scarred from the breakup with your previous GF, and don’t believe in letting yourself fully trust someone, that’s perfectly fine too.

 

 

Here's the situation:

 

All anyone on here can do is to tell you their opinion. Those opinions are based on experiences (many people on here have extensive experience). The bottom line is that most people on this forum think you should do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone (including but not limited to the above statements). What you’re trying to do is hurting your GF. Plain and simple. It is hurting her now, and if she reluctanty swings with you, it will hurt her then. You mentioned the yelling, crying, and negativity that has resulted from your actions. You’re not the only one to blame because she keeps coming back to you. But to justify what you are doing to her would be the same as justifying a man hitting his wife because she keeps coming back to him. You aren’t beating her physically though…you are beating her emotionally.

 

Now let’s just say that you can apply a “technique” (your words) to her and break her down. You win…she gives in and agrees to swinging every week. How is she going to feel? It might make you feel better to think that she will learn to like it. She might learn to like some of it. But, it would be a first for any of us to hear that she doesn’t end up with deep seeded emotional issues because of it. At the least, extreme resentment towards you. Maybe it’s worth it to you though, as long as she does what you want her to do. Who gives two shits about what it does to her emotionally? I do, and I don’t even know her.

 

All of the irritation and criticism you are hearing is not because these people are mean or close minded. It’s because you are hoping to get answers that they just can’t give you. How many people have said- “yes, keep pushing her” or “lying is a good thing”? After 60+ posts you still aren’t getting the answer you seek. It’s because we can’t give it to you. Maybe there are other forums with more people like you, in your situation and with your mindset, where you can get better answers to your questions.

 

Here are some direct responses to your direct questions/statements:

 

Do men actually think of their woman as just a ticket to go? sounds pretty degrading to me..

Why would that be degrading? What’s wrong with degrading women? Answer: The same reason it is wrong to use “techniques” (typically referred to as manipulation) to get your partner have sex in a context that they don’t want to.

 

 

If she can spread her legs for paying customers in Vegas, I think she can swing with soccer dads.

You think because she is a whore for money, she should be a whore for free…because you want her to be. She could, but she chooses not to. Many people on here have posted possible reasons for her disdain, but whatever the reason, she should be free to choose. Free from threats, psychological “techniques”, lying, bribery, etc (you may not be doing all of those, but you are certainly doing some of those).

 

 

I have never said that I want her to sleep with guys "I" pick out..! NEVER! She is free to sleep with whomever she likes.. even you!

Is she free to NOT sleep with whomever she likes? Maybe she doesn’t like “soccer dads”. Maybe she only likes fucking you, her tricks, and her ex. Again, her choice. She has her own emotional issues to work out…you pushing her into something she doesn’t want to do is certainly NOT going to help her with that.

 

All this talk about her choice reminds me that you have a choice too. You can choose to be a kind person and do what you think is best for BOTH of you (maybe that’s showing her the door and moving on), or you can choose to seek only your own personal satisfaction…at anyone else’s expense. I’m not saying you wouldn’t like her to enjoy swinging, but obviously her desires aren’t your motivation or you wouldn’t be pushing her into it.

 

 

 

“I have been nothing but respectful on these boards ... look around..can you find a post from me that has been disrespectful to anyone here?[/QUOTe]Ummm…check this one out: In reference to the responses you have gotten you wrote

I was maybe hoping to find someone here who could speak from experience, and not just frustrated soccer moms who swing out of boredom from there once dead beat husbands.

Don’t you think that’s a little insulting? If you don’t. No big deal. It just shows the difference in the way you think.

 

Maybe you think that everyone on here is just hateful. No? Maybe they are all just naïve, insecure, fear stricken, or closed minded??? Every last one of them.

 

 

Are there techniques to get a partner more interested in swinging?

Yes. Push and push until she either gives in or leaves you. If she does give in though, it will probably make her feel like more of a whore than any of her tricks have made her feel. That’s not a fact…it’s just the combined experience of everyone I know.

 

 

Is total honesty always the best policy…?

Only if you want true happiness in your relationship. How often does your GF cry because of something in your relationship? Does that feel good? How often does she get furious at you? How often do you have angst about not getting your way? Honesty by itself is not a cure-all but it should make the afore mentioned problems extremely rare. Even if you hated each other…even if she is honest that she will never be what you want her to be…you would be honest enough with yourself to find someone different.

 

 

Are there techniques to get honesty without condemnation?

As you know, no technique is fool proof. As a hypothetical, no matter what technique one uses, if they are honest about their desire to do selfish, manipulative, and/or hurtful things, people are probably going to condemn them to some degree. Now, if that same person hypothetically was truly looking for help to be less selfish, manipulative, and/or hurtful, then I think they would receive genuinely empathetic and constructive advice.

 

If you really love this woman…truly love her…you will be able to try and give back more to her than she gives to you. You will be honest with her about everything. You will be honest with yourself about everything. You will do things because they are mutually beneficial for both of you, and avoid doing anything that hurts either of you (again, maybe that means leaving her for good). If you can do those things, you will find so much happiness. If not with her, with someone else.

 

If you could do that, it might mean the end of your swinging days. It might also mean that you will swing together but just have to wait until she trusts you enough, you work through your issues, or she works through her own issues…whether that be 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years???

 

I honestly don't have much hope for you though. That's not intended to be a bash but just my outlook on your relationship and your long term happiness. I think you will read this entire post and then rationalize why I am (and everyone else is) wrong, and rationalize why you should stay with this woman and keep pushing her into doing things she does not want to do. I hope I’m wrong.

 

Good luck!

 

T

[neoparadigm 15]

that was by far the best and most intellegent post I have read.. and thank you for that..

and being as objective here as possible.. You have made some points that I should ponder..

 

The rest of these posters just seem to be here out of boredom or for entertainment purposes only..

 

So let me ask this..

if for some reason your current rock star swinging relationship ended ... and you had to go back into the single world.. could any of you go back into Vanilla land? Would you go there to recruit and train a new swinger or advertise for an exsisting one on one of these sites?

[neoparadigm 15]

N and T

what a small world it is..

we had already talked to you about hooking up on aff..

I remember her showing me your profile.. I'll keep myself annonymous here for the sake of

sanity.. if we ever end up playing, I will definatley be the only one who knows about these threads...! lol this is crazy... you guys found us and said you liked our profile! lol!

[neoparadigm 15]

we use a different name on aff for the record...

[Amanda69 24]

I think she would prefer to not swing at all... but she knows that it is part of dating me.. I like it, and as a good partner she wants to please me..

 

I think this says it all. Any man who would put his partner in this situation knowing she would rather not do it is not a swinger but a Pimp. He is using her to get to more women, plain and simple. As a woman I feel extremely sorry for her and her situation. She is trapped by what she has done and the expectations of a man who doesn't care about her feelings. Kick him to the curb honey and fast, there are way better partners out there who won't try to emotionally blackmail you into sex with other people.

 

Course gotta wonder why he needs a partner, given how many he claims to have fucked as a "master swinger" prior to their relationship. (By the way has there been a program I should have been applying to in order to get my degree )

 

Now I wonder why every time he uses the term Swinger to refer to himself I want to gag. Nothing peeves me off more than someone who bed notches and tries to claim to be a swinger...

[Spoomonkey 421]

I think she would prefer to not swing at all... but she knows that it is part of dating me.. I like it, and as a good partner she wants to please me..

 

What interests me is that she is a good partner for wanting to please him... So what does that make him? I would suggest a bit of a prick for not caring to please her... It is amazing at how consistently he misses this simple point.

[NandTfromCA 84]

The rest of these posters just seem to be here out of boredom or for entertainment purposes only..

A good example of a disrespectful statement. If you truly want constructive feedback, that's not the way to get it.

 

 

 

what a small world it is...we had already talked to you about hooking up on aff..

Interesting. We have only emailed couples as far as SF a few times and none of those seem to be anything like you are represented on here (interests, age, expectations, etc)??? If we indicated interest, I guess it’s an example of the limit of what you can get from someone’s profile. Either way, it is a small world. Thank you for letting us know, so we can be more aware of who we might be emailing.

[neoparadigm 15]

U agree I seem to be missing the point.. let me back track..

I met this woman on AFF and the very first night we full swap with a couple, have a great time, she fucks like a porn star, and I have clearly "found" what I am looking for.. I think, now this is the girl I am going to marry! She is the one who liked my profile on aff.. clearly stating.. "SEEKING SLUT WIFE" and seeked me out..! after this she decides that I am also the kind of guy she really likes and falls in love with me.. then proceeds to pull the rug on the swinging thing which was my original basis for dating her.. she knows this and so do I. I patiently waited to see if she would change her mind and I would maybe bring it up once a month or so.. after 6 months I dump her and tell her we are not compatible and I am going to find someone else to date that likes to swing. A month later she calls me at midnight while I am out of town and has me listen to her fuck a different guy at a famous swing club in Vegas while she has a cell phone headset on so I can hear her get fucked. There are ten people watching this and she did all the work to pick the guy, set this up, and call me so I can enjoy this ... and guess what? I totally loved it! Can we get back together now? she says.. I take her back in a heartbeat.

 

She then breaks into my aff email account and sets up a MFMF situation at that same club a week or so later from a MFM set up that I had already set up with them.. she tells them, look,

that guy you are going to play with now has a girlfriend and I want to surprise him with me showing up.. This was quite a surprise to me.. we all met, everything clicked and we played.

It was the other couples very first time swinging ever.. the other girl jumped right in, there was girl-girl action, and MFM with the other girl and a DP. My girl only let the other guy do oral on her, and kissed him some. The called the next day wanting us to come over for a BBQ.

My girl quickly declined saying, we should never swing with the same couple more than once.

She has no interest in all the friendship stuff you all are so fond of. Sex only, one time and move on. This is how she is.. The couple wrote us this beautiful testimonial on aff praising our

patience and helping them make their first time a glorious one. When my girl plays, people love her. She is smoking hot, gets really nasty, and makes you a believer in a hurry...

 

We did have the discussion about how often we would swing. She agreed to only 9 times a year. I think every other weekend would be a better compromise.. This is why I am here to discuss these topics and not to be so shamlessly bashed and beaten up.. as so many of you all have been doing. You have been disrepectful to me, rude, unsympathitic, and full of hypocracy which gives a very bad impression of this so called "lifestyle community" I would be ashamed to have her read all these posts from such a bunch of cowards. But I do stick around here for the very few of you who do seem to listen and who do post some interesting things to ponder or share of personal experiences etc... I have learned a lot while wading through all the other idiots. People seem to have this need to be right.. proving me wrong or whatever..

What I am interested in, is trying to work through what might be simple issues to others..

or what might be a very unique situation, (the two of us/ hooker and gigalo).. not sure..

that is why I am here ... for constructive support, or helpful critics, and hopefully a genuine sense of love in the community... you do want to fuck my girl eventually I am sure..! lol

 

I think a lot of you are just full of shit here.. lets say we find you on SSL or whatever, we meet at a club, we are a hot couple and ready to play, my girl is gorgeous, and we all get along fine, laugh, are sexy and just as the play is about to begin ... I announce my true identity the dreaded "Neoparadigm"... would you all quicky put on your clothes and run for the door as fast as you can? I bet not.. you'd all probably say.. hey.. we really enjoyed our conversations with you online, glad we helped you out... looks like things are working out for you two.. welcome to the lifestyle..!

[Spoomonkey 421]

If we indicated interest, I guess it’s an example of the limit of what you can get from someone’s profile. Either way, it is a small world. Thank you for letting us know, so we can be more aware of who we might be emailing.

 

Side note...

 

The internet is very limited. Ad sites only tell you so much...

 

Profiles - at best - are thin representations of people. When those people are willfully and habitually deceptive... Well... How much would their profile really tell you?

 

Character is one of those things that - face to face - is pretty tough to hide. We've responded to profiles thinking we had found a great couple or single - only to meet them and realize that they simply wrote well and took nice pictures; the reality was far less attractive.

 

Happens all the time, NandT...

[biblonde 22]

I think a lot of you are just full of shit here.. lets say we find you on SSL or whatever, we meet at a club, we are a hot couple and ready to play, my girl is gorgeous, and we all get along fine, laugh, are sexy and just as the play is about to begin ... I announce my true identity the dreaded "Neoparadigm"... would you all quicky put on your clothes and run for the door as fast as you can? I bet not.. you'd all probably say.. hey.. we really enjoyed our conversations with you online, glad we helped you out... looks like things are working out for you two.. welcome to the lifestyle..!

 

 

Actually if this was the situation YES WE would get dressed and walk out on you!! wouldnt be the first time we left because things werent as the seemed at first! I dont like liers or those that force their SO into this lifestyle. Sorry dude no one is that Hot. I have more respect for others than to play just because someone is hot. I would know she really isnt into this and that you are well.....name calling is bad and I am already in the corner so I will let that one go to the imagination!

[TNT 1,155]

I think a lot of you are just full of shit here..

 

Dear, dear, dear....that was disrespectful.

[TeamSoBe 36]

We did have the discussion about how often we would swing. She agreed to only 9 times a year. I think every other weekend would be a better compromise..

A domineering guy who holds his woman to a minimum quota schedule for performing 'wifely duties' is pretty creepy. A guy with the same schedule for when she has to fuck strangers who she's not into so that he can get laid is beyond creepy. That's total over-the-top creepy. That's a pimp.

 

If you were to just come right out and represent yourself as a lifestyle D/s couple then people might accept you more because then at least you're being honest about it. "She fucks whoever I tell her to, whenver I tell her to, and we both get off on the dominance and control." See that could be hot, IF she were actually into it. My wife and I have done it that way, people can dig it if you're honest about it.

 

But you keep saying that she's not into it so just give it up. If she's not into it then you're just trying to trade her like wampum for more pussy.

[Guest CandPinSA]

that was by far the best and most intelligent post I have read.. and thank you for that..

 

.............The rest of these posters just seem to be here out of boredom or for entertainment purposes only..

 

I've figured it out from this first statement in this post of yours. You're one of those early internet users, who spent all their time on usenet news groups, who thinks you know more than everyone else, but in reality know very little, and must continue to attempt to convince everyone else with whom you come in contact, that you are some sort of genius, prodigal, miracle creation, without whom the world would suffer greatly. The most unfortunate thing I see here, is that you spend all your time trying to convince everyone else that you are right, they are wrong, and they are totally close minded to everything outside their little world of thoughts and beliefs. All the while, you are only succeeding in demonstrating that you have absolutely no ability, whatsoever, to see, hear, accept anything someone else is telling you that's outside your own little world of thoughts and beliefs. You are exactly what you seem to so completely detest about the other people posting on this site. I believe we have come to the true root of the problem. You suffer from paranoia, narcissism, and egomania. Possibly some schizophrenia mixed in as well, but certainly the first 3. Your inability to understand the emotions these create within you, and therefore your inability to cope with them, results in a classically failing coping strategy of transferring those things you are afraid of in yourself to all those with whom you come in contact that don't fit into your little world of thoughts and beliefs. This subconscious strategy usually does, as in your case, fail to alleviate your symptoms, which only more greatly enforces your fears of failure, thereby causing you to only strengthen your self-defense mechanisms, reinforcing your own vision that you must be correct and everyone else around you is insane, inept, or misguided. The worse thing about this for you is that it is all self reinforcing which causes a terrible spiraling of these feelings, until at some point you will auger into the ground and self destruct.

 

Seek counseling and therapy.

 

Hope this has helped.

[NandTfromCA 84]

I think a lot of you are just full of shit here.. lets say we find you on SSL or whatever, we meet at a club, we are a hot couple and ready to play, my girl is gorgeous, and we all get along fine, laugh, are sexy and just as the play is about to begin ...

You would have to both be great actors and great liars to get to this point with us. Not saying it couldn’t happen, but we are typically good judges of compatibility and character.

 

 

I announce my true identity the dreaded "Neoparadigm"... would you all quicky put on your clothes and run for the door as fast as you can?

If we realized the couple we were with had been lying to us? Yes. If we realized that they were gloating about lying to us? Hell yes. It is easy to project your standards onto others, and that is why you are wrong in your assumption.

We are slutier than many of the people on this board but even we have found that it is not just about “hotness”. If we get the vibe that either partner is not totally into hooking up with us, or not being honest about what they want, or lied to us about their situation, we don’t want to be with them. It doesn’t matter how hot, sexy, fun, or charming they are. Shutting down couples like that isn’t a hypothetical for us, it has happened.

 

Have we been duped before? Maybe. Not that we know of though.

 

 

 

 

Concerning the rest of your post (i'll skip the "full of shit" because it's already been addressed):

I think those of us who have tried to give you something constructive are just falling into the trap of thinking we can really help you. It's pretty obvious that we cannot. It just seems so easy though. What should you do?

1- Leave your GF

2- Stay with her and look out for the best interest of each other (ie. stop trying to manipulate her)

3- Stay with her and force/coerce her into things she is opposed to, knowing that it will cause her pain and resentment.

 

No other questions matter until you answer that one. Do you really need a forum like this to guide you to one of those options?

[Guest CandPinSA]

U agree I seem to be missing the point.. let me back track..

I met this woman on AFF and the very first night we full swap with a couple, have a great time, she fucks like a porn star, and I have clearly "found" what I am looking for.. I think, now this is the girl I am going to marry! She is the one who liked my profile on

 

 

(all of the other BS crap snipped for lack of interest... and for brevity)

 

I think a lot of you are just full of shit here.. lets say we find you on SLS or whatever, we meet at a club, we are a hot couple and ready to play, my girl is gorgeous, and we all get along fine, laugh, are sexy and just as the play is about to begin ... I announce my true identity the dreaded "Neoparadigm"... would you all quickly put on your clothes and run for the door as fast as you can? I bet not.. you'd all probably say.. hey.. we really enjoyed our conversations with you online, glad we helped you out... looks like things are working out for you two.. welcome to the lifestyle..!

 

 

This entire post only reasserts all of my previous post.

 

Personally, sir, this only proves you are a clueless twit. You have no understanding, beyond what only you think you have, of other people around you whatsoever. If you announced to me and Mrs. P that you were neoparadigm from SB, I would tell you, "dude, F off .... If I had know that's who you were, your well versed conversation in person in no way removes your impression left by your true nature expressed on SB. It only shows what a dishonest person you are, and how little integrity you possess. And Mrs. P and I have far more respect for ourselves that to be associated with the likes of you." That is actually what would happen.

[NandTfromCA 84]

I've figured it out from this first statement in this post of yours...The worse thing about this for you is that it is all self reinforcing which causes a terrible spiralling of these feelings, until at some point you will auger into the ground and self destruct...Seek counseling and therapy.

Well said Mr. C. I posted our response before seeing yours.

 

It's a little sad that your advice (and all the other advice given) is falling on deaf ears.

[TeamSoBe 36]

Neo, why don't you just pay her to fuck those guys? Then at least there would be something in it for her. Or use Craig's List to find 'generous' couples who will make it worth her time so that you're not paying her with your own money. These things happen all the time in carefree vacation towns like yours and mine, it seems like you would have already thought of this. If you're really as kinky as you say you are then the real problem for her is that there's nothing in it for her.

[neoparadigm 15]

It is truly tempting to dupe some of you here in the months to come..

it would be so easy to do.. our profile name is something different on the other sites..

We are a very hot looking couple and it would be fun to set a trap and then as we all

leave the party after playing, we exchange e mails and you get a message from the dreaded neoparadigm.. ! To be honest I am tempted to do it ..

 

How many of these lifestylers would really be there for you like your family or vanilla friends?

How many would attend your funeral? For me..swinging is about sex... not swingers..

I don't need anymore friends.. can hardly give enough time and love to the ones I have..

To trade them all in for a bunch of "Lifestyle" compatible swinger friends is the most ridiculous concept I have ever heard on these boards..and some of you are doing that..

 

So many of you here talk about such respect, integrity and depth of character in the lifestyle,

and all I think is what hypocritical BS.. Some of the flakiest, shallow people I have ever met have been quote "swingers" in the lifestyle.. I have found the porn industry to have higher standards integrity.

 

I would completely accept your shallow narrow mindedness at the swing club, fuck your brains out and move on to the next one. There is only one couple here I would invite to my backyard BBQ. People go to these clubs in the hopes of getting laid by other hot couples.. we showed up at a new club in Vegas for the first time, and everyone was on us like fly paper. Six couples hit on us inviting us to play without even knowing our daytime professions. We picked two of them, fucked and had a great time.. So all this BS about friends and BBQs is really just trying to sugar coat the whole thing.. would you really be such great friends if swinging was not involved? Unlikely..

[TeamSoBe 36]

Some of the flakiest, shallow people I have ever met have been quote "swingers" in the lifestyle.. I have found the porn industry to have higher standards integrity.

Okay wait wait wait, that's another one of those comments that doesn't even make sense. The Neo online persona would not get along with porn industry people any more than he gets along with swingers. You said that assuming that none of us have ever been on a porn set. Think real hard about that one, Sherlock, there's a lot of overlap between those two crowds.

 

I know pornographers. I hang with pornographers. I have been a pornographer. You, sir, are no pornographer. You would clash with the people who you would meet at a porn convention or nightlife event or set in exactly the same way that you're clashing with people here. Your flavor of misogyny and disrespect for women is NOT tolerated in the female-dominated porn industry and if you had ever met a single real porn producer or girl talent then you would know that.

[Guest CandPinSA]

(all the other mindless drivel snipped because it was just the ignorant rantings of a raving lunatic................ ;-)

 

 

So all this BS about friends and BBQs is really just trying to sugar coat the whole thing.. would you really be such great friends if swinging was not involved? Unlikely..

 

 

Neo,

 

Who really cares? You obviously have no idea what happens to cause a 'friendship' to develop in the first place. 'Something' in common. It matters not what that 'something' is.... just that it is. If that 'something' happens to be swinging, then a friendship may develop around that. Just as two people who enjoy scuba diving, but have nothing else in common, may develop a friendship and share backyard BBQ's. I know this is particularly true for myself and some friends. We dive together often, but have little else, if anything, in common with each other. However every time there is a BBQ, we are all there together as friends. In fact, as often as not, the BBQ is a side event at a dive, as that is our primary reason for being friends. I also enjoy racing, both amateur driving and watching. I have many friends who are the same. We have little else in common, but often go have a few drinks together and hang out.... In the case of many here, who would be friends with other swingers solely because they are all swingers, makes their friendship no less valid than two whores who become friends solely because they both whores.... but who have little else in common. The cause of a friendship developing is neither important nor prescribed. It will develop where ever it develops, for whatever reasons it develops. Christians and Satanists would be hard pressed to become friends, but does that make two Christians false friends, solely because they are friends because they are both Christians... and the same question of two Satanists who are friends solely because they are both Satanists. Two farmers are friends because they are farmers, and to computer programmers are friends solely because they are both computer programmers.

 

You desperately need more education, social training, and the enlightenment you seem to be so desperately seeking. The saddest thing here, Neoparadigm, is that everyone here IS offering you higher enlightenment, you are just too damn stubborn, blind, and close minded to receive it.

[Amanda69 24]

It is truly tempting to dupe some of you here in the months to come..it would be so easy to do.. our profile name is something different on the other sites..We are a very hot looking couple and it would be fun to set a trap and then as we all leave the party after playing, we exchange e mails and you get a message from the dreaded neoparadigm.. ! To be honest I am tempted to do it ..

 

Now doesn't that just say it all about this guy. Nice attitude...

[neoparadigm 15]

I don't think we have any plans for Texas.. but if I ever find you hit our profile in Vegas on a trip out you are going to get a shocking surprise! and your own real awakening about how shallow you really are after neo had fucked your wife..

 

swinging is about sex first... not friends..

[fun4Ds 1,098]

So am I getting this right? You would trick people at a club, fuck them, and send them a letter saying who you really are? Just to prove you could? I'm wondering would you spike our drinks if we didn't want to play? Would you go that far? Man, please draw a line somewhere.

[neoparadigm 15]

so many of you have been so disrespectful to me here.. bashing and slamming my beliefs and position on swinging, never asking questions that might help me to find serious answers to questions I have very legitimatly posed here on the forum.. most of you come across as holier than thou, and up until today I have been nothing but repectful and just taking it..

so guess what?

 

someone here is going to take it in the ass... believe me..

[Guest CandPinSA]

So am I getting this right? You would trick people at a club, fuck them, and send them a letter saying who you really are? Just to prove you could? I'm wondering would you spike our drinks if we didn't want to play? Would you go that far? Man, please draw a line somewhere.

 

Interesting question.

 

P.S. Neo, Mrs. P says you should read our profiles on other boards (also under different names).... she doesn't want to fuck another guy, and she is totally straight so it wouldn't be your lady friend either, and she isn't into whores..... she wants to be the 3rd for me and another man.... I'm bi. So it would be me you got to fuck not her.

[neoparadigm 15]

sounds like you are safe then..

but these other full swap couples or ones looking for bi females could be getting duped here in the months to come after"NEO"leaves the board and is forgotten about as the days fade by..

 

I won't forget the ones here though..!

 

If you move slowly like you should.. being of such high intergrity and all.. you will be safe..

but anyone who asks to play right away without building a strong and solid friendship base will

put themselves at high risk of a duping...! (just for fun though!) there is nothing wrong with a prankster is there? It would be you hitting the bait ... not me..

[Amanda69 24]

someone here is going to take it in the ass... believe me..

Wow so way over the line...

[Spoomonkey 421]

It is truly tempting to dupe some of you here in the months to come.. it would be so easy to do..

 

Gosh...

 

You must think we are as stupid and shallow as you are...

[TeamSoBe 36]

...I am very sex positive.. meaning

I never view sex as a negative thing if both parties are consenting..

you are going to get a shocking surprise! and your own real awakening about how shallow you really are after neo had fucked your wife..

Troll.

[neoparadigm 15]

I do...

[fun4Ds 1,098]

ok thanks for not tellin me you would do the drinks, you just earned a bit of respect. i can understand your anger and you are rite you could have easily duped us at one time. i guess all we could have done is ask you not to.

[TeamSoBe 36]

We don't swing with pimps.

 

From the Wikipedia entry:

 

A pimp manages and finds clients for a prostitute, engaging them in prostitution, often street prostitution, in order to profit from their earnings. Typically, a pimp will force or pressure the women to stay with him; he may also protect them from other pimps or abusive clients. Pimps also often solicit and procure clients for the prostitute, though this is rare in Western countries today. Pimping is a sex crime in most jurisdictions.

 

Often, pimps will initially present themselves as lovers or father-figures to women (who may be run-aways or otherwise lack a family network) before introducing them to prostitution and drug addiction. Most pimp-prostitute relationships are abusive, using psychological intimidation, manipulation and physical force to control the women in the "stable". Some pimps may not beat their prostitutes, as marks and bruises bring down both the price of a prostitute and the social status of her pimp.

 

Yes some of that definitely sounds familiar.

[Guest CandPinSA]

so many of you have been so disrespectful to me here.. bashing and slamming my beliefs and position on swinging, never asking questions that might help me to find serious answers to questions I have very legitimatly posed here on the forum.. most of you come across as holier than thou, and up until today I have been nothing but repectful and just taking it..

so guess what?

 

someone here is going to take it in the ass... believe me..

 

No body here was 'bashing' your beliefs that I saw... at first anyway. I certainly wasn't. Although I have seen a lot of changes in tack lately. I do, however, think I can explain those changes. You see, many people tried to answer with their opinions. When you ask a question which has no definitive answers, the only answers you can receive are those that are opinions, theories, and philosophies. This doesn't make any of them wrong, for the person who gave them. They may not be answers that agree with the answers you are seeking, but for the one providing that answer, they are the right ones. Yours just aren't the same. Neither wrong nor right. Only wrong for some and right for others. You have a severe difficulty determining the difference between fact based and opinion based. You have difficulty realizing that your answers (or those you seek) may not be the beliefs of others, and that it doesn't make either right or wrong. When I noticed the change tack occurring, was when you, sir, began 'bashing' others for not seeing things your way. It doesn't make them wrong, just different in belief and opinion. If you are Wiccan, and march into a Catholic Church asking the congregation for advice on how you should worship the Goddess, what rituals you should perform when, and how to consecrate your altar..... I'm sure you wouldn't get the answers you were seeking. Unfortunately, you are incapable of understanding that you are addressing the wrong crowd for the questions you have. As for your comments about duping people here and then revealing yourself as neoparadigm, I seriously doubt you actually have the ability you seem to think you do. Everything I just said above, is the reason. I'll elaborate for you. In order to dupe someone, an essential skill to possess is that of being able to read your audience, and knowing when that audience is the appropriate audience or is in the appropriate mindset. I don't see that you have developed that skill in all of your vast experience. I say this because you fail to understand that this audience is never going to give you the answers you seek, only the answers that are right for each of them/us individually. Just as the Wiccan in the Catholic Church...Would (s)he be well advised to stay and repeat the questions hoping for different answers over and over? Or would (s)he be better advised to seek out Wiccan coven to consult? The point is, when your audience is not the appropriate audience, recognize that, bow out, exit stage left, and seek the correct arena, a skill that all of your vast knowledge, wisdom, and experience has failed to teach you.

 

Sincerely,

Mr. C

[Spoomonkey 421]

Gosh...

 

You must think we are as stupid and shallow as you are...

 

I do...

 

 

This is the funniest response I have read on these boards in a long time...

 

I have tears in my eyes - but I guess I'll respond with, "well, at least you aren't working with a floating reference point."

 

 

Spoomonkey

[neoparadigm 15]

the pimp thing is so way out...

and who are you to judge a pimp anyway..

 

how do you make a living?

[intuition897 2,179]

I don't think we have any plans for Texas.. but if I ever find you hit our profile in Vegas on a trip out you are going to get a shocking surprise! and your own real awakening about how shallow you really are after neo had fucked your wife..

 

swinging is about sex first... not friends..

 

Dude...

 

did you just refer to yourself in the third person??

 

 

Gee, I hope I'm lucky enough to be on Neo's hit list. This should be fun.

[biblonde 22]

NEOPARADIGM: You cant understand why people on this board dont welcome you and your views with open arms...let me enlighten you.

 

YOU have stated that you Lie, Trick stretch the truth to get laid....you force you GF into fucking others knowing full well she isnt into it (which in my book is RAPE) In this country NO means NO anthing else is rape. You threaten to Pull a fast one on those that dont respond to you with open arms. You ask the same questions over and over again and although they dont get answered the way you want you seem to think they arent getting answered. Guess what most here actually care about their SO and put them first and formost in their lives. I dont think you will find anyone that thinks forcing someone to swing or lying to get laid is a good thing. Your way may be the perfect way to you but I hate to tell you most here arent going to agree with you. It is called respect for others....you can look it up in the dictionary if you need to. I feel bad for your GF...hopefully one day soon she will get a backbone and tell you to F....off.

[neoparadigm 15]

Obviously you are all so full of shit about putting your mate first in your life..

Why aren't you doing something positive like writing a love note to your mate or

buy him or her that little thing they never seem to get around to getting for themselves?

or any other thoughtful affectionate thing you could think of rather that bashing some poster like myself the amazing "Neoparadigm" here today online ..

 

Put that thought on the back burner and take it to the grave..

[TeamSoBe 36]

Some day you might understand what love is but I really doubt it.

[Guest CandPinSA]

Dude...

 

did you just refer to yourself in the third person??

 

 

Gee, I hope I'm lucky enough to be on Neo's hit list. This should be fun.

 

I noticed that too.... I briefly wondered if his 'troll'ness suddenly became exposed, and he revealed he is somone expressing the views of some fantasy character her has developed in a D&D game or something...... but then realization hit me and I said to myself, "Nope.... it's just an example of his lack of education, grammatical abilities, and ignorance."

 

I would love to get on his hit list.... but he doesn't like boys.

 

Mr. C

[biblonde 22]

Obviously you are all so full of shit about putting your mate first in your life..

Why aren't you doing something positive like writing a love note to your mate or

buy him or her that little thing they never seem to get around to getting for themselves?

or any other thoughtful affectionate thing you could think of rather that bashing some poster like myself the amazing "Neoparadigm" here today online ..

 

Put that thought on the back burner and take it to the grave..

 

 

Well...acutally even after 24years...we send emails to each other during the day, talk on the phone often....surprise each other with gifts...We are both rather spoiled rotten because of the other!! YES my hubby comes first and I come first to him!! All I have to do is say I like something or want to go somewhere and POOF....I got it and the same with him!! And we spend alot of time chasing each other nekkid around the house!!

[neoparadigm 15]

My girlfriend once said she likes swinging but not "SWINGERS"

geeze can I really relate to that now.. no wonder she just wants to fuck and run out the door..

I never understood but i sure do now..!

[TNT 1,155]

swinging is about sex first... not friends..

 

Yes dear...for some it is and for others it's not. It all depends on what the individual/s wants.

 

We are some where in the middle...we have fucked people that we did not know their names and we have long-term swinger friends that we do much more with than just fuck each other.

 

Neither way is right or wrong.

 

I think that the reason that people are getting upset with your particular way of viewing swinging is that you won't even acknowledge that there is also another way. One that might not be right for you, but it works for them.

 

There is no right or wrong way to swing.

[Guest CandPinSA]

Obviously you are all so full of shit about putting your mate first in your life..

Why aren't you doing something positive like writing a love note to your mate or

buy him or her that little thing they never seem to get around to getting for themselves?

or any other thoughtful affectionate thing you could think of rather that bashing some poster like myself the amazing "Neoparadigm" here today online ..

 

Put that thought on the back burner and take it to the grave..

 

 

Funny you should ask....... Mrs. P and I email each other several times a day as we both have jobs that keep us tied to our workstations. Fortunately, mine is usually done from home via VPN, so I am able to maintain my internet entertainment as well. As for thoughtful affectionate things.... I actually sent her a dozen roses to be delivered at her desk just day before yesterday.... she had no idea...I did it to surprise her and say I love you. You should learn things like that.

[TeamSoBe 36]

I think that the reason that people are getting upset with your particular way of viewing swinging is that you won't even acknowledge that there is also another way. One that might not be right for you, but it works for them.

Partly, but the reason why I've been vocal in the Neo threads is that he showed up here trying to use the word "swinging" to justify his domination and manipulation of his girlfriend.

 

There are lots of newbie lurkers here trying to develop an initial impression of what all of this is all about. Allowing a troll like Neo to theorize out loud that "swinging" is a way to justify subjugation of women would be negligence on our part.