Age you appear to be vs. Age that you are

[Tybee Swing 286]

Let's say that you are 46 years old, soon to be 47. You don't keep your age a secret in your regular life. When people learn your actual age, they react with surprise and very often you've been told by many different people, "I thought you were about 31-35". A couple of people even thought you were younger than that. Nobody ever thinks you're over 40. You've been mistaken a couple of times for being your teen daughter's sister.

 

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age? Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

 

I'd love to hear what you would do, and also the reason why!

[2jersey 16]

Mrs 2jersey and I are about the same age (her 42, me 43) but several people in our vanilla life have commented that she looks much younger. For some reason, she would rather tell people her actual age and pleasantly surprise them than lie about her age and successfully fool people. I think she gets more compliments this way – she refers to her age as “a badge of honor”.

 

We post our actual (truthful)l ages on our profile. We do so for the same reason that all of our profile information is accurate – we are not out to con people. All of our profile photos are up-to-date and people who care about age are free to speculate as to whether we look our age, or not…

[OttawaCuple 15]

Even though everyone says "you look 10 to 15 years younger than your age" and that "you have a body that many 35 year olds would die for", I've always given my real age on on-line personals sites. I'm PROUD of being 55!! In a way, 55 is the new 45.

 

MrsOttawaCuple

[Amanda69 24]

Both always told look younger but always post real age...Why? because this is about honesty and open communication. Wouldn't look right to others we hook up with if we lie about something as basic as age.

[DGrey 28]

We are both told we look younger and have actually had to pull out IDs to prove that we aren't lying about being older. Really though...who would lie about being older?

 

We're both 33 and we're both frequently carded for alcohol.

[Spoomonkey 421]

What a hilarious thread!

 

We have had this discussion/debate/problem since day one - and just this weekend we were talking about it to another couple whose ages were completely mismatched with their looks.

 

They list their ages as younger - and the reason is they feel like they are off the radar of a lot of couples who would otherwise be interested. I kind of agree with this. Age - like weight - is a number that tells a very small part of the story. This couple in particular looks better than most couples in the lifestyle regardless of age...

 

My question - would you rather play with an incredibly attractive couple who doesn't look their age - or a less attractive couple just because the numbers add up?

 

That said - we tell the truth on our ad. We didn't at first, but Mrs Spoo wasn't comfortable with having to have it come up later. Everyone guesses her 15 years younger than she looks and we actually enjoy playing the game "guess her age" with folks - just to see the look on their faces when we tell them she'll turn 50 this year!

 

I - on the other hand - at 37 still get carded for beer now and then (most recently on my birthday! )

 

The shame is - the ad site filters keep a lot of couples from having our ad pop up as possible - and if they have an age limit of 45, we don't contact them because we aren't going to presume that we "may be an exception". I think it kind of cheats them and us out of experiences...

[2jersey 16]

The shame is - the ad site filters keep a lot of couples from having our ad pop up as possible - and if they have an age limit of 45, we don't contact them because we aren't going to presume that we "may be an exception". I think it kind of cheats them and us out of experiences...

 

Each ad site is probably somewhat different - but on SLS age searches are based on the youngest member of a couple.

[BiWoman33 15]

It's a definite peeve to find out someone has been misleading people about their age. Most people,if they take decent care of themselves, look pretty good, and that's all that matters. But I don't like being misled right off the bat. It is about openness, and age shouldn't matter; lying does matter. It suggests being uncomfortable with yourself.

 

And as an aside, I've yet to meet anyone who tells another person they look their age....it's a social norm to be sure never to insult a woman on her age...it's not a compliment, it's a nicety.

[good times 991]

And as an aside, I've yet to meet anyone who tells another person they look their age....it's a social norm to be sure never to insult a woman on her age...it's not a compliment, it's a nicety.

Especially if you are trying to get laid.

 

And for the record, having admired Mrs. Spoo in person, she doesn't look nowhere near here age. And I'm not saying that just to try to get on her good side.

 

Maybe we are a bit out of the ordinary, and sometimes it seems that way when we meet people and they don't match their profile. We are honest about everything in our add. I even edit our weights once a month or so to make sure they are correct and current.

[OttawaCuple 15]

They list their ages as younger - and the reason is they feel like they are off the radar of a lot of couples who would otherwise be interested. Spoomonkey

Spoomonkey, you raised a very valid point there & I should clarify my previous post where I said

I've always given my real age on on-line personals sites.

Before I met my hubby, when I was looking for a partner on the on-line personals sites (which, BTW, is where I met my hubby :-)) I realized that 1) I generally (although there are always exceptions :-) like younger men cuz they more often match my "semblant age", and 2) men often limit their search to younger or same-age women, thinking that they'll be sexier, better lovers, etc than older ones (again, a generalization, right?). I figured, rightly, that if I put my real age down, they'd never even see me on their search lists because they'd be searching for younger women.

 

So here's what I did ... slightly devious, but ultimately honest ... I posted my age as "xx" (4 years younger than my chronological age) ... and THEN, because I didn't want to be accused of out & out lying, down at the BOTTOM of my profile description (because everyone should read your whole profile before contacting you, right??), I put "xx is my SEMBLANT age. My birth certificate says I was born in May, 1951" (which when they'd calculated it, would have told them how old I really was).

 

My ruse had the desired effect .... I was included in their search lists, yet I didn't actually lie about my age because I indirectly 'fessed up in the profile itself. I never had anyone tell me they were offended by my deviousness and I had quite a few admit to me that if I hadn't done that, they would have never even seen my profile.

 

So do I recommend people lie about their age?? Not at all ... but do I recognize that rightly or wrongly, some people (myself included, though I try not to) are going to prejudge you based on your age?? Most certainly. And I don't think there's anything wrong with a clever twist that shows them that they shouldn't judge a book by its cover (or a person by their age)

 

MrsOttawaCuple

[Spoomonkey 421]

2jersey said:

Each ad site is probably somewhat different - but on SLS age searches are based on the youngest member of a couple.

 

Well - since I'm the youngest member - that may explain why we're still off the radar

[neoparadigm 15]

if most people had the choice to be younger they would let others guess your age... say what you want, because if people don't want to play because they think your too old or unattractive, they won't anyway.

 

I can't imagine playing with someone and during the contact you confess your real age..they would stop once they have committed.. How you look is most important.

 

how you act is also important. Ask ten people who don't know you at all... take the average and post it. I don't think ages should even be posted...

current pictures should. Let the pictures tell the story not the day of graduation.

[Spoomonkey 421]

neoparadigm said:

say what you want..

 

The problem with this is that some folks value honesty - not just in what others tell them, but in what they tell others...

 

Yes - even in a place like this you will rub up against a little integrity...

[singleagain 26]

How refreshing to know that so many swingers are truthful enough to give their real age. Hell...the government won't even do that. Did you know that when the county tax appraiser checks out the age of your house he bases his estimate of value on the perceived age of the home rather than the real age...really

[neoparadigm 15]

Swinging is about raising the bar on sexuality... being free of the traditions imposed on us by society, religion and the government.. a true liberation movement.. trying to sugar coat the whole thing in some kind of shroud of integrity seems a bit over zealous.. I think there are some big stumbling blocks out there for everyone in this lifestyle.. it's dangerous territory but the thrill of the ride and excitiment overcomes the potential for boredom and the mudane..

 

I don't believe that all the perfect swinging couples posting here don't really go through some serious issues about the lifestyle from time to time..

 

I don't feel everyone here is really being so honest .. this is tough challenging ground to be walking on..

[biblonde 22]

We both are honest about our age..I am thrilled to have gotten this far!lol Although I am told often I dont look my age. Hey was even carded at a casino in reno this winter. Which was okay at first till the Jerk yelled out..."Oh..wow...you are almost 40!!" and well everyone around had to turn and look...We have seen those though that look much older than they say...makes ya wonder. As for MRS. Spoo...nope she doesnt look her age in the pics I have seen!!

 

NEOPARADIGM....just a note... no not all swingers are happy campers and most all go through hard time and issues in this lifestyle. It is how you choose to deal with it when they come up. You have to look at any issues as a learning experiance and move on. If you let it get to you, then you will be very unhappy! Me and hubby have almost no issues with this lifestyle and really havent had to many since we got into it. We are truely happy in this lifestyle. Good communication is the key to being happy with swinging. I can tell you every post we have made has been 100% honest. I am sure though that there are those who stretch the truth...you have to believe what you want and disregard the rest.

[blondie77 17]

Both hubby and I look younger than we are...but like biblondie said, I hate it when they ask for ID and then look at it like 'Oh, didn't realize you were so OLD!'! UGH! I had that happen to me at a bar one time...the bartender was no older than 21 and when she carded me and saw my age, she called me ma'am for the rest of the night!!! I will be turning 30 in another year so this especially irritates me! LOL Oh...and we're always honest about our ages...I figure if someone found out I lied about my age, then they'll be less likely to believe anything else I say.

[Spoomonkey 421]

neoparadigm said:

this is tough challenging ground to be walking on..

 

If you see it that way, maybe you feel the need to lie.

 

Personally - we are doing quite well while keeping our integrity in the matter. If this is, as you say, "raising the bar" or "a true liberation movement" then how could you then shroud that with a somewhat desperate and rather pathetic dishonesty?

 

Frankly, I have not bought most of the stuff you've been writing here, and since you seem to think that lying is a good way to be successful in the lifestyle - I guess you just proved me right

[DGrey 28]

neoparadigm said:

How you look is most important..

 

Unfortunately, no, it's not. If we were to meet a couple where either husband or wife had said they were one age and then confessed that they were another age, we might stop depending on that age. We have rules that we don't play with people under 23 or people over 53. There are reasons and the reasons being that those ages are too close to family members ages and my psyche just won't go there.

[2jersey 16]

Aging effects more than one's physical appearance - it affects one's mind. And up to a point, we believe the mind gets better with age. Compared to their more youthful counterparts, well aged people are more likely to have better balanced emotions and personalities.

 

Sure, an attractive 40 year old women could look in the mirror and declare herself to be 25, but she would be selling herself short.

[Chicup 42]

One of the fun things about being a doctor is I get to know what peoples real ages are. I'm often shocked at people who are a few years younger than I am who look several years older. I've been aging pretty well so far, something I will attribute to me basically staying out of the sun (northern European + sun = bad SPF 35+ = good). This puts my apparent age late 20's (mid 20's if I had the grey flecks removed from my hair). Just yesterday one woman who was only a couple of years older than me was shocked to learn I was the same age as her husband. Mrs. Chicup is in pretty much the same boat (living with me keeps you out of the sun).

 

Being we are slightly younger than the average swingers out there (and when we started we were much younger) most couples who contact us are older than we are. When we first started in our late /mid 20's I was very 'ageist' in that anyone in their mid 30's was an instant turn off. I recall one couple who I responded to who said they were late 30's, and my response was something akin to thanks for writing but we think our ages are too far apart. They tried to convince us otherwise, and I noted they had removed their age from their profile after that (this is before the days of SLS or really any good swinger sites beyond some local ones).

 

This couple is still in the lifestyle and amazingly list themselves as the same age as they did 7 years ago, so now we are almost the same age (they are also using the same pictures)

 

So where am I going with this rambling?

 

Well I can understand the desire to list ones age younger. If you were a couple who looked younger than you are it would be tempting to list yourself as in the younger age group. We know two couples who have done this, and have heard of many more. That doesn't mean its a good thing in the long run. Finding out you have been lied to is a good way to really torpedo a friendship. If your only goal is to nail the young hotties then they may have a point but most these couples are doing it to appeal to a younger age group but are still looking for friendship in the LS as well. Some where out there, there are 2 couples in their 40’s who both think the other couple is in their 30’s.

 

Now that we have grown up a bit we really don’t look at the ages, but just a general attraction, but the age liars still irk me a bit, I hate being lied to period.

 

Aging effects more than one's physical appearance - it affects one's mind. And up to a point, we believe the mind gets better with age. Compared to their more youthful counterparts, well aged people are more likely to have better balanced emotions and personalities.

 

Very true, not always the case, but true enough

[neoparadigm 15]

It's interesting that not one post here says that we look OLDER than our real ages..

Americans are obsessed with looking younger and this is just a reflection of that obsession.

 

Who cares how old you are? If you see a hot couple or single you want to play with, and they like you.. who cares? Age can be just as discriminating as race, or religion.

[JnCC 24]

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age?

As a single male, probably not. It's just a sad, but true fact that after 50, invitations slow down for everybody in the lifestyle, especially single males. So IF I were going to put an ad on a swinger website, I'd say I was 49...an age I probably could pass for, if the other person(s) wanted to believe the lie bad enough.

 

Strangely enough, I DO post my actual age on the vanilla website, in part because I'm at an age which for some reason seems to be very appealing to women in the age range I'm interested in (mid-late 40's). The other reason for that is that there, you're likely to wind up in an ongoing relationship of some sort, and it's hard to maintain a deception when you're doing a lot of other things together. On the adult sites, people are usually just looking for a stunt dick. When it's over, it's over, and you don't have to worry that they're going to find solicitations to join the "AARP" on your kitchen counter.

Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly.

 

What I DO pay attention to (and this applied to how we assessed other couples when I was part of a couple, as well as to how I now assess single females), is how well they've maintained themselves physically, and what hobbies and interests they have. I would MUCH rather be with a vital, dynamic 50+ year old, than a 40-year old who's just "wallowing" through life. Therefore, in any profile I write, I'm scrupulously honest about my leisure activities, and I hope that the person I'm responding to has done the same.

 

Ultimately, they say far more about us than the actual date of our birth.

[TeamSoBe 36]

It's interesting that not one post here says that we look OLDER than our real ages..

Apparently I do. And my wife likes guys who are way way way older than me.

 

Lying to get laid is wrong.

[biblonde 22]

It's interesting that not one post here says that we look OLDER than our real ages..

Americans are obsessed with looking younger and this is just a reflection of that obsession.

 

Who cares how old you are? If you see a hot couple or single you want to play with, and they

like you.. who cares? Age can be just as discriminating as race, or religion.

 

"We don't play with blacks, Jews, Buddists or Mexicans, only white soccer moms with white

attorney husbands..

 

Sweetie...I have noticed that almost every post you make is negative? Is there a reason why? It cant be fun to be so down on everything? Maybe I missed something...but you may try looking on the lighter side of things. Makes life alot more fun!!

[Tybee Swing 286]

I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly.

 

I understand the point about people wanting to jump your bones, will say anything to flatter you. (Several other folks made this same point, also.) BUT, I disagree that people can't have a very clear idea of how old they appear to be to people in general.

 

When you truly do look much younger than your true age, it comes up continually in general life. You hear it from old friends you haven't seen in years, new friends/acquaintences or co-workers who've just learned your age, the lady at the DMV taking your picture, the dental hygenist, the person carding you at the club, all people with no ulterior motive to make the comment. When all these experiences point toward a certain age range that they say they thought you were in, it's just logical to conclude that you probably do look that age to people.

 

I think it was Spoo who said that Mrs. Spoo is close to 50 but is constantly told by people in general that she looks to be in her 30's....I'll bet that she actually does look it, hearing it that often.

[neoparadigm 15]

Lying to get laid is wrong!

 

This is true if you don't want to get laid..

I'll go with getting laid anytime!

[Chicup 42]

Lying to get laid is wrong!

 

This is true if you don't want to get laid..

I'll go with getting laid anytime!

 

OK I move you from the weirdo to the troll column.

 

Don't let him derail the thread.

[JnCC 24]

When you truly do look much younger than your true age, it comes up continually in general life...When all these experiences point toward a certain age range that they say they thought you were in, it's just logical to conclude that you probably do look that age to people.

OK, I'll give you that. And it's true, there are poeple who due to good genes, clean living, surgical intervention, or whatever, don't look their age. But there are a lot of people who DO look every day of their age and then some, but who choose to believe what their well-meaning friends tell them about their appearance. Because most of us are such flirts to begin with, people in the lifestyle may be more guilty of that than the public at large. One of the basic principles of flirting is to make people feel better about themselves, and by inference, better about being around you. You can't do that without schmoozing them a little bit.

 

One thing I DO believe is that we each have the ability to cheat the clock by 5 or 10 years. That is, if a person exercises regularly, doesn't smoke or drink to excess and limits their exposure to the sun, they can hit the big "5-0" with the face and body of a 40-45 year old. Or, they can do all that stuff, and hit the big "5-0" with the face and body of a 60 year old, in which case no amount of fluff on their profile is going to make them appear "young" to anybody they meet.

[2jersey 16]

For people look younger than their biological age, it is appropriate (some would argue) for them to post a false (lower) age. Applying the same logic, people who have not aged gracefully would be expected to post a false age which is higher than the truth. Perhaps there should be a committee of experts who will decide how old everyone really is? Eventually, we can have committees for weight, and sexual orientation, and... This gets mighty confusing after awhile... Embrace reality!

[DGrey 28]

^ WRT that look younger than they are posting an age younger than they are...speaking for ourselves, we wouldn't. We hate that people don't believe we're 33. We wouldn't want to be associated with a 20 something maturity/mentality rate when we're both in our 30's.

[LOL_OMG 130]

I've been told that I look younger than my age, but I post the correct age...I'm usually happy that I can still remember what year I was born

[Chicup 42]

One thing I DO believe is that we each have the ability to cheat the clock by 5 or 10 years. That is, if a person exercises regularly, doesn't smoke or drink to excess and limits their exposure to the sun, they can hit the big "5-0" with the face and body of a 40-45 year old.

 

Works in your 30's too.

 

We don't smoke, rarely drink, stay out of the sun (I came back from a week in hawaii on the beach without any color), work out.

[EvilMJ 65]

I think I look about my age, which is fine with me, I'm happy to look 34. I think I will age fine, I hide from the sun like a vampire, I don't smoke and I don't really drink much (horrible results when I try ).

 

However...my husband, who is 8 years older than me at the ripe age of 42...looks 32...!! The man just doesn't age!! I don't know how he gets away with it honestly.

 

He was involved in an accident the other day (no one's fault, mechanical failure), when the police arrived, the officer kept asking him if it was really his driver's license. He finally got frustrated and said ofcourse it's mine, why are you asking? The officer said he couldn't believe that was his age, he didn't look old enough . Lucky bugger.

 

We have no problem posting our ages. He's not obsessed by numbers (nor am I), we don't limit who we play with, we base our decisions on attraction and personality.

[LOL_OMG 130]

We have no problem posting our ages. He's not obsessed by numbers (nor am I), we don't limit who we play with, we base our decisions on attraction and personality.

We only limit the minimum age to be older than our kids, heh.

Mrs

[DGrey 28]

LOL_OMG said:

We only limit the minimum age to be older than our kids, heh.

Mrs

 

Just as our upper limit is that which nears our parents' ages. Both sets were very young when they started having children.

[EvilMJ 65]

LOL_OMG said:

We only limit the minimum age to be older than our kids, heh.

Mrs

 

Since my child is only 5 I think I will aim higher . How about 'in their 20' and up.

[curiousagain 326]

As a single male, probably not. It's just a sad, but true fact that after 50, invitations slow down for everybody in the lifestyle, especially single males. So IF I were going to put an ad on a swinger website, I'd say I was 49...an age I probably could pass for, if the other person(s) wanted to believe the lie bad enough.

 

Strangely enough, I DO post my actual age on the vanilla website, in part because I'm at an age which for some reason seems to be very appealing to women in the age range I'm interested in (mid-late 40's). The other reason for that is that there, you're likely to wind up in an ongoing relationship of some sort, and it's hard to maintain a deception when you're doing a lot of other things together. On the adult sites, people are usually just looking for a stunt dick. When it's over, it's over, and you don't have to worry that they're going to find solicitations to join the "AARP" on your kitchen counter. I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly.

 

What I DO pay attention to (and this applied to how we assessed other couples when I was part of a couple, as well as to how I now assess single females), is how well they've maintained themselves physically, and what hobbies and interests they have. I would MUCH rather be with a vital, dynamic 50+ year old, than a 40-year old who's just "wallowing" through life. Therefore, in any profile I write, I'm scrupulously honest about my leisure activities, and I hope that the person I'm responding to has done the same.

 

Ultimately, they say far more about us than the actual date of our birth.

 

Sound wisdom.

 

At the age of 49 I know I am reaching that age where I won't come up on any type of web search. It seems even women in their 40's often limit their search to 49. But therein lies my deliemma. When I am out and about it's the 20 somethings that show interest until I tell them my age, then they usually mutter something about me being as old or older than their Fathers. Sometimes I have time to shout "Is your Mom single and does she look like you?" I've been carded by dates that didn't believe I was old enough to be interested in them. The women I am interested in think I am too young.

 

Even though the last year has taken it's toll on me, I too tend to stay out of the sun, workout, and either act young or immature, depending on your opinion of it. But, as some have said, a lot of it's in the genes. My Dad was often assumed to be in his 40s when he was nearly 70 and my Mom in her late 60s is usually thought to be in her 50s.

 

I guess I told you that to tell you this. I always put the correct age on any internet dating or swing site even if that kicks me out of a lot of searches and since I won't open a face pic to anyone until I have "felt them out" so to speak to make sure they aren't a fake (a burnt dog fears fire as they say), it really limits me online. I could put a different age on a site, but that would be a lie and I could lie about my age and bang some 20 something in a bar but that ain't right either. Now, if she knows my age and doesn't care.......... then it's a day that God smiles.

[LOL_OMG 130]

Just as our upper limit is that which nears our parents' ages.

Okay I never thought about that one! Oh cripes, now Imma have to think about that one....

 

Mrs LOL

[WonderWhat 166]

Ever since I was 18 I've looked 30. Now that I'm 37, it's an asset.

[KajiKurai 15]

I'm 36 and she's 38. We're honest about our age in profiles. If we were to find out someone we were considering were lying about their age it would likely be a dealbreaker. Recently I was out with a buddy having a beer and I got carded, but then again I've never given my age too much thought.

[2GirlsGoodBenBa 16]

We post our actual age because if we were to post the age in which we look most people would stay away from us completely. Often told we look like we're in our teens when dressed down.

[rpu3 630]

Tybee Swing said:

Let's say that you are 46 years old, soon to be 47. You don't keep your age a secret in your regular life. When people learn your actual age, they react with surprise and very often you've been told by many different people, "I thought you were about 31-35". A couple of people even thought you were younger than that. Nobody ever thinks you're over 40. You've been mistaken a couple of times for being your teen daughter's sister.

 

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age? Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

 

I'd love to hear what you would do, and also the reason why!

 

We have the exact same situation you just described above. My husband is 48. He looks 35. People always say "No way - you cannot be that old".

 

We are honest about it on our profile, and I know that causes people to not consider us. I don't know what else to do but be honest.

 

We thought about putting something in our profile stating he does not look his age, but we thought that might actually drive more people away that went back specifically to look at his age.

 

We ended up putting a photo up on the main page, so they can see everything but his eyes and get an idea that he's not exactly falling apart at the seams.

 

Great question!

[Thrax 384]

I don't have profiles on SLS, AFF, or other similar services, but I do fill in my true age on my Board profile and my Yahoo Group profiles. I'm very happy with the fact that although I'll be receiving my first issue of Modern Maturity next month, I do look a little younger than that.

 

If I miss out on meeting some folks because of that, well, que sera sera.

 

I must admit, the pics I use in my profiles are usually 2 or 3 years old, and I've gained five pounds since then. Gotta get some new pics to keep everything free of any hint of deceit or duplicity.

[LICouple4u 15]

I'm 30, but am constantly told I look much younger... You be the judge - avie pic was taken in March Hubby looks about his age, with some grey hairs mixed in there.

 

I prefer to be honest... If I am not, I know I'll screw up somewhere and my real age will be found.

 

Given that, my first woman was a beautiful 50yo (just this past fall) who has a daughter my age. I would willingly be with her again, no problem. There are some women who are that age though that I have no desire to be with...

 

So to us, age is just a number and we look at pictures to see if there's a chance of attraction or not. I do admit, we don't go over 55 as it gets to the point where there's not a lot in common then. We like to have something to talk about before and after the clothes are off.

[Concupiscence 16]

Sheesh, I'm feeling the fool for hanging out in the Utah desert for 2 weeks, I'll end up looking the age that I actually feel these days! Perhaps I should put that on my profile; act 12, feel 53, age 35.

 

This brings up an interesting point with respect to physical/personality characteristics of age, do you automatically assume that grey hair means old? Does the style of clothing indicate a certain age or maturity? If you are in a club and these types of traits are the first that you come into contact with, would you go with your first impression or try to determine whether the outer aspect matched the inner?

 

Going on what another poster mentioned, I would have difficulty overcoming a certain discomfort with gentlemen who have a distinguished look and silver hair. It is just too close to my father's appearance. Now if they were completely bald, Robert Duvall looking men wearing faded jeans then I would be ALL over it. Certain physical traits or personalities that remind me of my parents are going to interfere with any attraction that I might have. I also admit to a prejudice with respect to clothing styles and hair styles. They could be a completely beautiful couple but I couldn't swing with them.

 

P.S. I LOVE UTAH!!!!!!!!

[prettylady 221]

Spoomonkey said:

The shame is - the ad site filters keep a lot of couples from having our ad pop up as possible - and if they have an age limit of 45, we don't contact them because we aren't going to presume that we "may be an exception". I think it kind of cheats them and us out of experiences...

 

Dog and I are in a similar situation. Dog is 49 and I am 34. Where I normally fit in to most people's "ideal" age he does not. He is tall, muscular, and dam fine to look at we are passed over because of his age. He looks nothing like a 49 year old. Good healthy lifestyle leads to young healthy looking people. Dog takes VERY good care of himself.

 

I too get carded when my sisters and I go out to paint the town. They hate me for it. . I love it.

[prettylady 221]

Thrax said:

I don't have profiles on SLS, AFF, or other similar services, but I do fill in my true age on my Board profile and my Yahoo Group profiles. I'm very happy with the fact that although I'll be receiving my first issue of Modern Maturity next month, I do look a little younger than that.

 

If I miss out on meeting some folks because of that, well, que sera sera.

 

I must admit, the pics I use in my profiles are usually 2 or 3 years old, and I've gained five pounds since then. Gotta get some new pics to keep everything free of any hint of deceit or duplicity.

Just checked out your pic Thrax. Must say you are looking FINE to me.

[prettylady 221]

Ok, I know I have the last three replies but it just occurred to me.

 

Most of you say that you do not look as old as you say you are....could that mean that a healthy sex life leads to younger looking people? did I stumble upon the fountain of youth here.

 

Just a thought.

 

[Tybee Swing 286]

prettylady, maybe you're onto something there with the fountain of youth being a healthy sex life.

 

I think a lot of it is as you said about your guy, age 49 looking nowhere near his age - he takes great care of himself. I pay attention to health & fitness daily - it really pays off, I believe in it. Staying away from refined junk & grease, sticking with healthy whole foods, lots of fruits and veggies. "Clean living", no smoking, no drugs. Keeping fit with plenty of regular exercise. It all adds up.

 

Concupiscence mentioned clothing styles and hairstyles being too dated - I really get that. Many women my age dress like grannys and get those awful old-lady haircuts. If people are taking good care of themselves and dressing stylishly in a way that flatters what they've taken care of, that makes them appear younger, too.

 

My favorite role models are women like Demi Moore, Madonna, and many others who make people realize that "older" women don't have to look it, dress like it, act like it.