Age you appear to be vs. Age that you are

[athena2910 17]

I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly. ...I'm scrupulously honest about my leisure activities, and I hope that the person I'm responding to has done the same. Ultimately, they say far more about us than the actual date of our birth.

 

I think JnCC makes a good point. If knowing someone's real age doesn't matter because they look so good (or young as the case may be) does it really matter what age someone is?

 

I'm of course, assuming that people can still tell whether someone is at least of legal age! But really, why should it matter if a woman is near 50 and looks 30? Shouldn't the important part be that she looks good to you?

 

Athena

[Tybee Swing 286]

athena2910 said:

why should it matter if a woman is near 50 and looks 30? Shouldn't the important part be that she looks good to you?

 

Athena

 

I agree with you. People who met that lady in person before they knew her age would likely go by how attracted they are to her. Many of them would have no idea what her real age was, if it didn't come up. They'd have assumed she was younger. If they're attracted, they wouldn't even care.

 

When searching through personals, people usually look for those who fit within a certain age bracket that they think they'd be attracted to. They see an age and other details on a profile long before they see a person's appearance very clearly (most people don't use face pics as main pics). They'd rule out the woman in your example because they know her age and assume things about how she'll look, before actually seeing her. It's a stereotype thing.

 

If Sharon Stone had a Lifestyle profile showing her true age of 48, a lot of people would pass her by. Their search range never would have even brought her to their attention. They wouldn't know they'd missed the opportunity to meet a woman who looks awesome.

 

Pity - she would have rocked their world.

[rachan 53]

I actually am 46 and most people I know and meet tell me that I look younger. In personal ads I've always given my real age. One of my lovers, the one we do threesomes with is 35 and he always tells me I look younger. My husband is 56 and he's in great shape and doesn't look his age. Maybe this lifestyle keeps you young.

 

Raeann

[magnum 78]

Let's say that you are 46 years old, soon to be 47. You don't keep your age a secret in your regular life. When people learn your actual age, they react with surprise and very often you've been told by many different people, "I thought you were about 31-35". A couple of people even thought you were younger than that. Nobody ever thinks you're over 40. You've been mistaken a couple of times for being your teen daughter's sister.

 

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age? Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

 

I'd love to hear what you would do, and also the reason why!

 

I too have had people tell me that I look a lot younger than I am "46". I put my actaul age in my profile.

 

Magnum

[kinkyfun 15]

Goodness, I'm a little torn on this one. When I 1st got into swinging as a single female, I wasn't interested in meeting anyone over the age of 50. Reason being, I didn't want to have sex with someone old enough to be my mom or dad. But that all changed when I met one couple that had their age listed as 42. They were a very attractive couple, great personalities, lots of fun, and not just sexually. After our playtime, they admitted to me they were actually 52. They said when they posted their actual age in their profile, most people they were interested in were not interested in them just because of a number. They actually opened my eyes and now I don't set limits on myself when it comes to age. I've realized what's more important is the person, not how old they are.

[Lumina 16]

I get that people who have their filters set with low age maximums may be missing a lot. But we don't know why they set that limit and it's unfair to assume that their reasons are, well, unreasonable.

 

If people don't want to play with someone who's their parents age, that's their right to make that choice and it's not right to "unchoose" that for them. Yeah, someone may not look or act like a 54 year old, but who says my parents do? My mom goes to Disneyland twice a year, and my Dad and hubby try to outlast eachother splitting wood. (Though Dad does let hub carry the really big ones himself lol) My mom was carded for alcohol well into her late 40s and got countless "OMGs!!" when she supplied it. So my image of what a 50+ yo should look like is a pretty young one anyway.

 

Anyway, hopefully people are openminded enough to not let a number get in the way. It's certainly not fun thinking about how many people are going to weed us out b/c of my weight. But it wouldn't be right to lie about it.

[DBL D 120]

Both always told look younger but always post real age...Why? because this is about honesty and open communication. Wouldn't look right to others we hook up with if we lie about something as basic as age.

 

Us too Amanda69, Always tell the truth...unless it's about where you might live. He He.

 

We just met a couple that said they were both 50. He really was 58 and she was probably 55. They said it was because people would pass them by in a search and not even consider them. He turned out to be a very charming man. She was (charming) as well. You can't always determine a good play partner from age. We still would rather someone told the truth. What's the problem with someone saying you look younger than your age, rather than older?

 

Male D

[good times 991]

While we have played with people from 22 to 65, I would be pissed if I found out somebody lied to me to get me to play with them, about their age or anything else. The problem is, even though I may have played with them had I known the truth up front. They didn't give me the oppurtunity to make that choice because the choice I made was based on their lies.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Amen to that, Goodtimes!

 

Well, you also have to mention the people who apparently THINK they look younger, but actually don't. We met a couple who said she was 41 on her profile, in person said she was 46 (because otherwise the math wouldn't add up on things that she said), and looked closer to 50+. Now, from across the room, if the lighting was dark, and I didn't have my glasses on, I would have said, yep to the 41, but really, by lying, she looked not only like a liar, but an idiot as well, for thinking we wouldn't know the difference.

 

Pepper

[NandTfromCA 84]

I'm 32 but everyone thinks I look 31 1/2

 

They are blown away when I tell them my real age, saying things like, "whoa, you like at least 3 months younger than you actually are". I'm just blessed.

 

Mr.

[DGrey 28]

I get that people who have their filters set with low age maximums may be missing a lot. But we don't know why they set that limit and it's unfair to assume that their reasons are, well, unreasonable.

 

It's refreshing to see someone who understands that age limits are set for reasons and that they aren't just unreasonable. Our age limits have nothing to do with looks at all but more for the fact that our parents starting having children very young and that's a psychological line we won't cross.

 

E

[Thrax 384]

I'm 32 but everyone thinks I look 31 1/2

 

They are blown away when I tell them my real age, saying things like, "whoa, you like at least 3 months younger than you actually are". I'm just blessed.

 

Mr.

Well, DUH! You live in Calipornia (although allegedly at the Northern end, but I know other folks who have fudged their addresses...so this remains a tad suspect). I'm surprised the California age margins aren't down to weeks at this point. You must have a good publicist, stylist, manicurist, pedicurist, personal trainer, herbalist, astrologer, naturopathist, acupuncturist, manager, and pool boy. And the Japanese gardeners can help with the whole relaxing Zen thing. Right?

 

 

Thrax

[LOL_OMG 130]

I'm 2369 weeks old tomorrow!

 

/keels over

 

Mrs

[DBL D 120]

What things are important to most swingers? Age, Weight, Chemistry, Experience & Desires, probably in that order. What is the big deal? I think you can find someone to play with at any age, but fact is that no matter what anyone may want, there are still going to be the same number of rejections regardless. Pretty bad example to set by not overcoming lying even though they have overcome so many other things.

 

That being said...I'd rather a person was 25 miles off on their location than 25 pounds off on their weight. Lying about location is a much more public admission of who you might be; I can see lying about it. Once we make a pretty good impression with a couple and decide we'll meet, then we tell them where we really live. Age/weight notes are probably the thing that gets peoples attention the fastest, and it would be nice to be able to trust them.

 

Male D

[Concupiscence 16]

I don't believe the flip side of the coin has been presented.

 

What if an 18 yr old lied about his/her age and stated it as 28. I see so many young women these days who look YEARS older than they actually are. I really have no interest in anyone younger than 30-ish. Not that they aren't eye candy but I want someone with depth as well as length (ha. ha.). Before the younger generation jumps down my throat, I am back in college and surrounded by younger people so I am getting an earfull of their outlook on life. So (back on topic) what if this 18 yr old was wise and mature and looked older but is just barely passed the age to buy their own smokes?

[Thrax 384]

I'm 2369 weeks old tomorrow!

 

/keels over

 

Mrs

Oh, don't be such a drama queen. I'm over 2500 weeks old, I'm not TOO wasted away, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a problem catching your skinny butt afore it hits the dance floor.

 

Yeesh!

 

Thrax

[good times 991]

I will have to say that almost everyone guesses my age younger than I am. But since I have noticed that most people actually look about their age I figure that their low gueses could be for a couple of reasons as follows;

 

1. I was acting childish at the time. I know, not likely, but it could happen.

 

2. They were polite and do what I do when asked to guess someones age. Figure how old you think they are, then mentally subtract 5 years and give that as your answer. (If you decide to use this method and are really hot for this person and trying to get laid, it might be a good idea to subtract 10 years just for good measure.)

[Concupiscence 16]

I'm 2369 weeks old tomorrow!

 

/keels over

 

Mrs

 

I'll fedex the birthday/care package containing:

12 (pr) opaque support pantyhose

1 (ea) industrial size bottle blue hair rinse

2 (pr) orthopaedic nurses shoes in buff and white

1 (ea) lifetime supply Depends

1 (ea) lifetime subscription to AARP and "Assisted Living craft ideas"

 

 

Happy Birthday tomorrow!

[The Fuse 1,012]

Well, I just turned 40, and changed our SLS profile on the day of my birthday.

 

I think OttawaCouple had a good point on the first page of this thread. The only way I consider it even halfway acceptable to fudge your age on a profile is to put your fudged age in the part that the searches use, and then post your actual age in the text. That way anyone who bothers to read your profile is only lied to once. But basically it's deceitful, which is a bad way to start off with someone you're swapping your loved one with. Plus, while there ARE some people who do look younger than they are, there are SO many more who just think they do. I get told I do fairly often, and not just by people who are trying to get into my bikini... but I figure they are just flattering me.

 

I suppose I could post my actual age... 28 in hex (for you non-nerds out there, hex is base 16 as opposed to base 10).

 

Basically if we met a couple and it turned out they had lied about their ages in order to meet more people, I'd wonder what else they were lying about.

 

About the reverse question, that's a good point... we've played with some relative youngsters. If they told us they were older than they were, we would have been just as annoyed, but for different reasons.

[athena2910 17]

Tybee Swing said:

When searching through personals, people usually look for those who fit within a certain age bracket that they think they'd be attracted to. They see an age and other details on a profile long before they see a person's appearance very clearly (most people don't use face pics as main pics). They'd rule out the woman in your example because they know her age and assume things about how she'll look, before actually seeing her. It's a stereotype thing.

 

If Sharon Stone had a Lifestyle profile showing her true age of 48, a lot of people would pass her by. Their search range never would have even brought her to their attention. They wouldn't know they'd missed the opportunity to meet a woman who would have rocked their world.

 

Tybee, I couldn't agree more. But here's the problem: once people approach 50, it can create a psychological barrier to attraction. Case in point: After Sharon Stone's new movie, "Basic Instinct 2" came out, Jimmie Kimmel (or some other late-night talk-show host) said this: "Sharon Stone's new movie bombed at the box office... I guess no one wants to see a 50-year-old woman uncrossing her legs."

 

Unfortunately, it's men like him, who automatically think mature women are positively unsexy because they're "old," that can make life difficult for us women as we age. So the only hope most of us have it to look considerably younger... which explains why women, much more than men, are more likely to get plastic surgery...

 

But, you, on the other hand, blessed with great genes and a strong ethic of taking care of yourself... well, hey, what can I say? You look great! And more power to you!

 

Athena

[Bottombitch 15]

I love oldermen...the salt and pepper look is way to sexy

[djjwp 129]

We post our true ages, we earned those years!!

 

Whats funny to us is we have 5 kids, the oldest 21 and the youngest 2. When they see me with my oldest son and my youngest daughter, THAT gets a reaction!

 

I'm 43 and have been told I look 34

She is 41 and looks about 35 when she is dolled out. facelick

[sapphire68 15]

I'd always give my real age. I'm often told I look about 15 years younger than I am because I am very short, petite and my face looks young. I have young teenagers that flirt with me at times (bah!). So I definitely keep it honest with my age.