Lost my job for swinging!!

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Please please please can somebody in here help? I know this isn't a legal site, of course, but just don't know where else to turn.

 

My hubby and I have had profiles up on one or two Swing websites, as well as having a Yahoo profile with pics and info saying that we'd like to meet others. We're not 'hardened' swingers by any stretch of the imagination, and are actually more interested in getting to know someone socially before doing anything sexual.

 

However, I have been stalked and harrassed for the past 8 years by a woman who is known to me, who has managed to trace my accounts (she spends hours each day trawling the internet for information about me). Last week I lost my job of 18 years after she reported finding one of my swing profiles (on a site requiring membership) as well as finding erotic pics of me on an amateur pic-posting site. I was dismissed on the spot and given a letter citing 'Immorality', 'distribution of pornography' and 'soliciting participants for obscene, immoral, pornographic and/or sexually offensive acts on the internet'. I should point out that although my first name was in my description, my full name, address or place of work were NEVER mentioned.

 

I have removed all traces of me that I can find, but surely my First Amendment rights have been violated? Not only that, but I believe I am being dismissed on sexual grounds (I am bisexual and my ad stated that I was looking for other bisexual friends). I'm maintaining that as 99% of bisexual people don't go around advertising their sexual orientation, it's not unreasonable for me to use a swing site to look for friends of the same persuasion.

 

I called into work the day after being dismissed to collect some things, and people stopped me saying that 'things will work out' and 'they're sorry' about what happened. Even if I fight to get my job back, I don't believe I can return because everybody now knows about my private life.

 

Can anybody offer me any advice, please? I'm desperate. I've been told to attend a hearing to plead for my job back, and part of the conditions set are that I must not post sexual pics or use Swinger sites again. Surely an employer can't have that kind of control over my private life, can they?

 

Thanks for reading this. Hope none of you have to go through the trauma this is causing me.

[CuriousInOregon 16]

Wow you did get stuck in quite the spot didn't you, I have to say from a Personal stand point that I would not want that job back, Knowing that everyone there now would know my personal and private life, Of course you do what you have to financially to sustain of course, I dont know anything about your company but I do know that MOST of the companies today are "at will" meaning they can fire you for any or NO reason at all and you cant do a damn thing, I would say that if you feel you have had your rights violated call an attorney have a no cost consultation and see what the lawyer has to say about the situation, Could be you can fight for Wages if not your job..... Good Luck Not that I am much help but I offer when I can.

[TeamSoBe 36]

Do you have an employment contract?

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I had to sign a contract, but I got the job shortly after leaving school and don't have a copy or recollect what was contained in it! I've been worried by seeing the 'at will' rule too. I'm employed by the Local Government and am not sure if that applies (knowing my luck, it does), but still, the letter of dismissal that I received gave specific reasons. Anyway, I know this isn't a legal site, I really just posted on here because I believe this is an issue that affects any of us who are in any way involved in the 'lifestyle' and are employed :-(

[jdc50 15]

Well a lot of goverment jobs local, state or federal do have morality clauses. I think you would be better off going after the woman who caused all the problems. You could get a Protection Order preventing her from doing the things, contacting you etc.

 

If the employer did not give you a separation check you might be entitled to something. Contact the Labor department for your state and see what they have to say.

 

Good luck

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

I'll give it a go, thanks. As for going after this woman - I've been trying that for 8 years with no success. My own County Court have told me that they will not serve same-sex Injunctions, and the Police have told me that they are powerless to act without a full admission of guilt from the woman. Even though she has threatened to kill me several times (and she could do it!), they say they can't act until she actually touches me!

[good times 991]

Sorry to say, but I doubt that you have any recourse. As an employer myself, I am pretty sure that I can require my employees to meet any reasonable (judged by the mainstream population) moral standards I choose as a condition of their continued employment. It is not unusual now days for an employer to fire an employee for having nude pictures of themselves on the internet. The rational being that putting nude pictures of themselves on the internet would be considered pornography by the majority of the population, and I don't know of many companies or organizations that would allow their company to be associated with pornographers.

[wetpanties 5]

You need to see a LABOR Attorney not an ambulance chaser. 1) Any pictures posted on a pay site are not public and have no bearing on your public job. If they are no longer posted - they aren't there and probably can't be used against you - who knows - they probably never exisited and if they did, it probably wasn't even you. The cost for your former employer to fight a lawsuit could be millions and if your attorney filesa multi million dollar lawsuit against your former employer and the person who falsely accused you of something you diddn't do who knows what would happen.

[2jersey 16]

You can't/shouldn't go back to work for this company, but you may have cause for a civil lawsuit claiming wrongful termination and seeking monetary damages.

 

Your employment is probably at will. This generally means that you can be terminated at any time without cause or reason. Your employer cannot, however, violate certain anti-discrimination laws - and discrimination is a basis on which you might proceed with a wrongful termination lawsuit.

 

You might want to do some research on the ACLU website.  Gay rights are a big national issue currently, and the ACLU might even be interested in the details of your case.

 

Ultimately, you will probably need to consult an attorney who specializes in employment law in your state. If nothing else, you might be able to persuade your employer to adjust your termination status to 'not-for-cause', merely because you can seek unemployment benefits and the termination will weigh less heavily on your future employment possibilities.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Sorry to say, but I doubt that you have any recourse. As an employer myself, I am pretty sure that I can require my employees to meet any reasonable (judged by the mainstream population) moral standards I choose as a condition of their continued employment. It is not unusual now days for an employer to fire an employee for having nude pictures of themselves on the internet. The rational being that putting nude pictures of themselves on the internet would be considered pornography by the majority of the population, and I don't know of many companies or organizations that would allow their company to be associated with pornographers.

 

Thanks for the reply. Whilst I can sort of understand where you're coming from, you yourself have a Swinger profile, which is surely something the mainstream population would find disagreeable and against mainstream moral standards? Does that mean you'd fire yourself? lol. As for the nude pics - the pics I posted were erotic (they were tasteful pics, run through Photoshop to add artistic effect and did not include any sexual situations). If images of naked women per se were pornographic then wouldn't that lead to the loss of a lot of works of art that currently hang in the world's art galleries? Again, using your profile as an example - there's nothing in there that would identify you if I didn't know you (which of course, I don't). But does that mean your profile would be any more tolerable by the 'mainstream' public because you're not easily identifiable? Does the fact that somebody identifies you make you more or less morally acceptable? Surely we have a right to do what we like in private as long as the law isn't broken? The rationale you mention that the mainstream population would see naked pictures as 'pornography' stands just as equally as the rationale that the same mainstream public don't believe swinging to be morally right (but you still have a profile and admitted that you could require any of your employees to meet 'reasonable mainstream moral standards'). I'm not picking (sorry if it looks that way!), it just seems a little hypocritical.

 

Also, I work in Local Government (non-public facing) so I'm not sure if all of the same employment laws apply.

[good times 991]

Thanks for the reply. Whilst I can sort of understand where you're coming from, you yourself have a Swinger profile, which is surely something the mainstream population would find disagreeable and against mainstream moral standards? Does that mean you'd fire yourself? lol. As for the nude pics - the pics I posted were erotic (they were tasteful pics, run through Photoshop to add artistic effect and did not include any sexual situations). If images of naked women per se were pornographic then wouldn't that lead to the loss of a lot of works of art that currently hang in the world's art galleries? Again, using your profile as an example - there's nothing in there that would identify you if I didn't know you (which of course, I don't). But does that mean your profile would be any more tolerable by the 'mainstream' public because you're not easily identifiable? Does the fact that somebody identifies you make you more or less morally acceptable? Surely we have a right to do what we like in private as long as the law isn't broken? The rationale you mention that the mainstream population would see naked pictures as 'pornography' stands just as equally as the rationale that the same mainstream public don't believe swinging to be morally right (but you still have a profile and admitted that you could require any of your employees to meet 'reasonable mainstream moral standards'). I'm not picking (sorry if it looks that way!), it just seems a little hypocritical.

 

Also, I work in Local Government (non-public facing) so I'm not sure if all of the same employment laws apply.

You are correct; we have a profile with pictures online. We do not have any nude pictures were we are identifiable though. My wife works for a large company, and she has been told that if their were ever to surface any nude pictures of her on line, she would be fired. Do I think it is right or fair that our employers can do this? In the case of swinging, no, but then again, I am sure that I have a line that if an employee crossed I would have to fire him/her too. For example, if I had an employee that started a racist web sight I would have no problem firing him for it. The problem is that their is the way we think it should be, and then their is the way it is, and their is a vast range of differing opinions in between. When we do something, which is outside of what the mainstream thinks is acceptable, we run the risk of suffering the consequences, whether we think it is fair or not. In your case I don't think it is fair, but we are a minority.

[intuition897 2,179]

My question, LJ, is, just how far are you willing to pursue the matter? Because pursuit of any kind will inevitibly result in your "outing" yourself. Personally, for myself and my hubby, I couldn't care less if it became public knowledge. We can handle the fallout, and to tell the truth, it would be a relief of sorts. But with kids and our family and friends in the picture, it becomes trickier. We don't want our hobby to negatively impact anyone else.

 

So how far could you see yourself pursuing it? What are you willing to risk?

[2jersey 16]

My question, LJ, is, just how far are you willing to pursue the matter? Because pursuit of any kind will inevitibly result in your "outing" yourself. Personally, for myself and my hubby, I couldn't care less if it became public knowledge. We can handle the fallout, and to tell the truth, it would be a relief of sorts. But with kids and our family and friends in the picture, it becomes trickier. We don't want our hobby to negatively impact anyone else.

 

So how far could you see yourself pursuing it? What are you willing to risk?

 

From their initial post, it seems as though they have already been outed. From this quote, it seems that her employer did not handle the matter discreetly. We're assuming the people at work who expressed their sorrow to her know the facts of the situation - and people talk...

 

Lovely Jubblies

I called into work the day after being dismissed to collect some things, and people stopped me saying that 'things will work out' and 'they're sorry' about what happened.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. To answer the last couple of posts - it's not really a question of 'being outed' to friends and family. That's of little concern to us. However, what I didn't want was people I work with judging me based on my private life. As this is totally different to being, say, a mass murderer who has been found out, I will happily fight for my right to have a private life, even if life that involves consensual sexual contact with others. Besides - if I were a single woman and was on Adult dating sites (whether that's with topless pictures or not), would my employers have a legal right to stop me from dating that way? If so, wouldn't that mean the end of adult dating?

[2jersey 16]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. To answer the last couple of posts - it's not really a question of 'being outed' to friends and family. That's of little concern to us. However, what I didn't want was people I work with judging me based on my private life. As this is totally different to being, say, a mass murderer who has been found out, I will happily fight for my right to have a private life, even if life that involves consensual sexual contact with others. Besides - if I were a single woman and was on Adult dating sites (whether that's with topless pictures or not), would my employers have a legal right to stop me from dating that way? If so, wouldn't that mean the end of adult dating?

 

You are openly seeking sexual relations outside of your marriage. And you have posted nude photos of yourself on the internet. If you were single, and had not posted nude photos - you would probably not be under scrutiny.

 

Of course you have a right to privacy. But you made the choice to advertise the sexual aspect of your private life on the internet. Psycho lady came about your profiles and photos in a legal way, as did your employer.

 

We don't blame you for believing that your employer is overstepping rational boundaries by interfering with your sex life. But we are not surprised by your employer's actions - and they are probably acting in a legal manner.

[Swing*8701 887]

I'm sorry, this thread does not appear real. I think this person is simply trying to place a 'scare' into people. An 18 year employee gets fired over this. The employer could never prove he set up the sites in the first place. If someone came to me with this I'd have to establish that it was real and not simply faked to get the employee in trouble.

 

Unless there had been previous 'sexual harassment' type issues and this was the straw that broke the back.... I'm sorry, maybe the guy's legit, I'm just not buying it.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

You are openly seeking sexual relations outside of your marriage. And you have posted nude photos of yourself on the internet. If you were single, and had not posted nude photos - you would probably not be under scrutiny.

 

Of course you have a right to privacy. But you made the choice to advertise the sexual aspect of your private life on the internet. Psycho lady came about your profiles and photos in a legal way, as did your employer.

 

We don't blame you for believing that your employer is overstepping rational boundaries by interfering with your sex life. But we are not surprised by your employer's actions - and they are probably acting in a legal manner.

 

No, we're openly seeking friends within our marriage. Our ad deliberately stated that we wanted friendship and aren't the type to jump into bed with somebody after a single conversation. If that friendship were to lead to consensual sex further down the line, then so be it. If it doesn't, then great too, we want friends who are at the very least tolerant of the lifestyle. Where better to find friends like that than on a swinger's site? So why should an employer be able to tell us where we can and can't make our friends? 'If I were single and not posted nude photos, I would not be under the same scrutiny'. So I'm obviously being discriminated against then. The law was changed in regard to posting sexually explicit pictures (which I didn't post). As far as I was aware, it was still legal to post erotic pictures. It seems that even if an employer doesn't like it, it's still my private life. It's not like I'm posing outside of my workplace in a see-through t-shirt.

 

Think of it this way.. Minors aren't allowed to smoke or drink. It's illegal. It's also illegal to smoke or drink at my place of work. Would I have been dismissed if someone had found pictures of me on the internet holding a glass of wine and a cigarette on a site that someone who comes into contact with my employers might find? What makes a consensual sexual act any more 'morally wrong' than smoking or drinking in front a child or an anti-tobacco or anti-drink campaigner? Finally, there's actually a lack of consistency in my own workplace. A person I know used to call sex-lines from his office phone and use the internet to search for porn. He received a written warning. He continued doing it and was eventually dismissed. I didn't even receive a warning for the things I choose to do outside of work.

 

Finally, the site I was using was SLS. As I'm sure you're all aware, if your external profile isn't activated, you have to be searched for by somebody who registers to use the site. That's how I was found.

[Swing*8701 887]

Again, this guy is trying a fear campaign. He is not real. There's no doubt after this last post that it's all a fake. Some moralistic jerk who thinks harming this site with scare tactics will work. Think about it. A person out to 'get him', trolling for stuff on the internet 'about him', unable to stop this person in eight years ? And, knowing this person is out there to post on adult sites at all ? Seems too stupid to be true and it probably is.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

I'm sorry, this thread does not appear real. I think this person is simply trying to place a 'scare' into people. An 18 year employee gets fired over this. The empolyer could never prove he set up the sites in the first place. If someone came to me with this I'd have to establish that it was real and not simply faked to get the employee in trouble.

Unless there had been previous 'sexual harrassment' type issues and this was the straw that broke the back.... I'm sorry, maybe the guy's legit, I'm just not buying it.

 

WTF??? Here I am at my wit's end because the job I have had since leaving school is over because of my private life. I was a member of SLS for 3 years and several other sites, too. Yes, my pictures were on my profile. How much more proof does an employer need that it's me? And no, there have been no previous 'sexual harrassment' issues. I've been stalked by somebody that the local authorities can't help me with because the stalker doesn't actually put her name to anything.

 

Either your post just goes to show how f***ing unrealistic this situation really is, or you have absolutely no idea of the real world. The fact is that this is real and has ruined my life. I am in the middle of contacting every attorney I can find, along with sites such as ncsfreedom, ACLU, NCLabor, NASCA, etc. and whilst I have been told I have a case, I just can't afford an attorney. So now I'm trying to find one who will work pro-bono. Thank God you don't work for one. If you do, please tell me who it is so I can cross the name off my list.

 

I just hope you don't end up in a situation where you're desperate for help and somebody laughs in your face or accuses you of 'scare tactics'

[twohots4u2 188]

We have a small business and understand the labor laws fairly well. We feel that it would be illegal to fire someone for posting photos or an ad on this or any other swinging site. The federal, state, and local labor and anti-discremination laws apply to all businesses, private and public. Your best bet may be with the ACLU. They have good pro-bono lawyers. Fighting this sort of thing should help you, and the rest of the folks in this lifestyle.

 

Good luck. Our heart goes out to you.

[hard8cocklover 15]

I feel sorry for you. I wish that lady was nice to you instead of mean.

[2jersey 16]

Good luck with your problems - whatever they may be...

 

Personneltoday.com Legal Q&A Morality Clauses

 

Excerpt:

 

By David Green, partner and head of the employment and pensions unit at Charles Russell

 

Q Our US parent company has asked us to include a 'morality clause' in a contract for a senior employee, which would detail what he can and cannot do in his private life. Can we do this here?

 

A Even if the employee was prepared to sign a contract which included such a clause, to enforce it, the company would have to show that his behaviour was likely to affect his ability to do his job.

 

If the individual was particularly senior and his role, the business and the company's reputation were dependent on his 'moral standing', it might be possible to enforce such a clause. The company would have to show that the individual's 'immoral' behaviour would bring the company into disrepute to justify taking any action.

 

In addition, if the morality clause was itself in any way discriminatory - ie, if its definition of 'morality' stated that the employee was only permitted to have relationships with members of the opposite sex - that will be in breach of new regulations which will make discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation unlawful from December 2003. The clause would be unenforceable and the employee would be able to bring a discrimination claim.

 

If an employee worked for a public body, they could claim under the Human Rights Act 1998 for breach of his right to respect for private life and the general prohibition on discrimination.

 

Q To what extent can employees' activities outside work affect their continued employment?

 

A In general, what an employee does in their private life outside work should not affect their employment. However, it could be reasonable to dismiss someone for their conduct outside work if it damaged, or could damage, the employer's reputation. This would depend on the nature of the conduct, the employee's role and the nature of the business.

 

In each circumstance, employers should always follow fair procedure, by investigating and giving the employee the opportunity to answer the allegations.

 

If the activities outside work involved drugs or criminal convictions, employers should be aware that they do not automatically justify dismissal if they are irrelevant to the employee's work.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Again, this guy is trying a fear campaign. He is not real. There's no doubt after this last post that it's all a fake. Some moralistic jerk who thinks harming this site with scare tactics will work. Think about it. A person out to 'get him', trolling for stuff on the internet 'about him', unable to stop this person in eight years ? And, knowing this person is out there to post on adult sites at all ? Seems too stupid to be true and it probably is.

 

How on earth can you say my situation isn't real? I take back what I said in my last post - I truly hope you have to go through what I am going through and get treated the way you're treating my experience. The simple fact is that I had profiles on Swing sites that have all had to be withdrawn. At what point have I used a 'scare tactic'? Have I at any time said 'Be careful, this could happen to you?' No, I've asked people for advice because I'm f***ing desperate and don't know where to turn.

 

As for the stalking thing. If you have someone who has admitted to your face that they're out to get you, you try going to the authorities with 'suspicions' and no hard evidence and see how far that gets you. 'Knowing this person is out there and to post on adult sites at all'? Regardless of who is out there, don't I have a right to live my life the way I want to as long as I'm not breaking the law? Obviously not where you're concerned.

 

You're obviously no help at all at least in this post. Please leave me alone.

 

Oh, and I'm a 'she', thank you for the assumption.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

We have a small business and understand the labor laws fairly well. We feel that it would be illegal to fire someone for posting photos or an ad on this or any other swinging site. The federal, state, and local labor and anti-discremination laws apply to all businesses, private and public. Your best bet may be with the ACLU. They have good pro-bono lawyers. Fighting this sort of thing should help you, and the rest of the folks in this lifestyle.

 

Good luck. Our heart goes out to you.

 

Thank you, twohots. You've no idea how it feels to get a reply like yours (that was kind of a good sad if that makes sense)

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

2jersey said:

Good luck with your problems - whatever they may be...

 

I just wanted to include part of the quote so you know I've read it. Thank you very much for the information, 2jersey. I'm waiting for a reply from the ACLU and will discuss this with them.

 

I know my situation may seem far-fetched. I'm not some sort of 'freedom-fighter', I'm just a regular girl who wanted to make new friends and have a private life that doesn't just involve knitting circles. I really hope that something can come of this - there HAS to be a point where we as adults make our own decisions on how to live our lives as long as we don't hurt anybody in the process.

[intuition897 2,179]

Hi Lovely Jubblies,

 

Mr Intuition here. Mrs told me about your situation, sorry to hear...unbelievable how intimated vanilla's are by people in the lifestyle. We are in Canada and the labour laws are different (and how you spell labor too, cause I know what a stickler Mrs is about proper grammar), but I would be suprised if your employer is really that much "at will" to fire employee's. I have about 50 employee's and if we choose to terminate someone's employment there has to be: (a) a serious event/change of work performance, (b) ongoing, progressive disciplinary action/s, or © a external event that could make you unbondable.

 

If you have any old copies of performance evaluations/contribution assessments, that reflect good work ethics; and they have nothing documented to the contrary I would suspect they may find themselves overstepping their rights, and yours. Again we are in Canada and our laws are somewhat different, but we are similar enough to have our legal counsel based out of the head office in the US.

 

Also in Canada we have a branch in the government, the Ministry of Labour, that has a board to hear cases like these; you should call the local/state government to inquire if you have a similar institution there.

 

Best of luck with this!

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

intuition897 said:

Hi Lovely Jubblies,

 

Mr Intuition here. Mrs told me about your situation, sorry to hear...unbelievable how intimidated vanilla's are by people in the lifestyle.

 

Best of luck with this!

 

I can't believe this - somebody else actually believes us!! What you've said makes perfect sense - I can't see how having a profile on SLS can possibly interfere with my job. I work in administration and have no public contact. I don't socialize outside of work with work colleagues - my private life is totally separate to work for me. I don't stay out all night swinging then skip work the next morning, either, lol. I have an excellent work-record, excellent time-keeping and try not to take too much time off sick. In my 18 years working within the Local Government I have never even been reprimanded.

 

I'm actually awaiting a reply from the Dept of Labor (it's ok, my hubby's English, he spells it 'Labour' too). I emailed them a few days ago and have yet to receive anything back from them. In the meantime - maybe we should just move to Canada!

 

Thank you again guys, for taking the time to help

[LOL_OMG 130]

Hi Lovely Jubblies

First of all, I don't find your story far fetched...I've heard of all sorts of things through the years. As a previous government employee I remember having to read the "Code of Ethics and Conduct" on a yearly basis (they would even give you time on the clock to read it so you didn't have any excuses) and initial that I had read it. You may have had to sign something similar at some point.

 

I was also our local union president and have had to deal with some different morality issues. One guy was surfing porn on govt computers...thank god I dealt with a great counterpart in management because he could have been out on his ass.....2 months from retirement (can we say dumb ass?).

 

I think you may have a case here...based on the fact that someone had to have actually signed up for the site to see your pics. Heck my bosses bosses boss was a nudist! We just got back from a trip so I'm a bit tired but I will do a little digging on this tomorrow.

 

Mrs LOL

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Mrs Lol, you're a Godsend!! What a wonderful way to round off my evening! I have been so down with all of this (and having people thinking I'm just scaremongering is hardly helping), it's just so nice to read that someone might actually have good news. I did email one of the country's top First Amendment attorneys who has vast experience with Adult matters and he told me that I have a case but that he can't work pro-bono (which is what I need - we just don't have any disposable income).

 

I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Thanks again and have a wonderful night (or what's left of it!)

[Chicup 41]

However, I have been stalked and harrassed for the past 8 years by a woman who is known to me, who has managed to trace my accounts (she spends hours each day trawling the internet for information about me).

 

Why did you have ANY traceable information to you on the web then? If you had someone 'cyberstalking' do you think speicific information and faceshots are a good thing to have? A slight change of address, edited pictures, even a slight age change would all be understandable by potential partners, and is commonly done even by people who are not being actively looked for like yourself.

 

As for 'at will' firing side topic

 

There are a reasons why the Canadian economy (and European economies) is so weak compared to the US. As an employer, at will firing allows me to get rid of loser employees quickly creating a better working environment for everyone else.

 

Obviously this can be abused as in the OP's case in such odd situations as swinging but the policy itself helps everyone, you don’t fire good employees on a whim if you want to stay in business. Anyone who has ever worked in a 100% union environment knows how bad it can get when you can’t fire the slackers.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

just out of curiosity?

 

#1 what the hell did you do to make someone mad enough to stalk you for years, countless hours a day till they finally busted you on sls?

 

#2 were you checking your profile AT WORK ON A WORK COMPUTER ever? even if just once?

 

#3 you don't know who did this to you but... you know how many hours a day they stalked you?

 

Now I'm with you on checking all of the labor laws because I'm all for someone keeping their job.. but where I have worked, yes there was some pretty raunchy stuff flying around so they warned every one in the plant to stay off the net at work. Then the raunchy stuff kept flying around on inhouse emails and 3 people lost some pretty good jobs when they sent some stuff from home to their work email. If you were at work and you were ever on the net you were probably being monitored., and if you were at work they own anything you might have been checking like your profile. legally! If the computer belonged to them so do any temporary internet files.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is if I'm at work, and I send some drawings home, what's on my computer belongs to me at home but if I change anything, make revisions and send it back, everything belongs to them. That's my understanding.

 

if you can give us any feed back we would appreciate it.

[Amanda69 24]

And what kind of job has this strict an ethics code that they would fire a long standing employee without any notice or questions?

 

Either way they would still need to "prove" that what you were doing was harmful to your employer or to your "clients". Fight it, fight it, fight it....

[intuition897 2,179]

Anyone who has ever worked in a 100% union environment knows how bad it can get when you can’t fire the slackers.

 

Hasn't seemed to hamper Mr. intuition's employer from cleaning house, and it is a unionized environment.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

Amanda69 said:

And what kind of job has this strict an ethics code that they would fire a long standing employee without any notice or questions?

 

 

Teachers and School Employees. I almost started a riot at the school I used to work at for having an ad on Yahoo Personals, and all of my pictures were of me clothed (no lingerie) and the ad was VERY vanilla. Apparently, there is a moral turpitude clause in our contracts and the principal's sensibilities were offended because I tried to internet date. Someone found my ad and spread the knowledge of it all over the school. I wasn't fired, I resigned over other workplace issues, but teachers and school employees can be fired for moral turpitude.

 

Jenn

[bill&sabrina 22]

Really sorry to hear about this. I have heard about attempts at getting people fired for swinging, but not actually happening. Stick it to whoever you can stick it to, but good. Swingers need to keep things like this from happening. I don't want to hear any "this is just a hobby" excuses, we are adults not hurting anyone. Its time to quit letting ourselves get hurt because someone doesn't approve of what we do.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

And what kind of job has this strict an ethics code that they would fire a long standing employee without any notice or questions?

 

Either way they would still need to "prove" that what you were doing was harmful to your employer or to your "clients". Fight it, fight it, fight it....

 

I work in Admin in the school's system with an expemplary disciplinary and attendance record. No public or contact with minors, but still...

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

bill&sabrina said:

Really sorry to hear about this. I have heard about attempts at getting people fired for swinging, but not actually happening. Stick it to whoever you can stick it to, but good. Swingers need to keep things like this from happening. I don't want to hear any "this is just a hobby" excuses, we are adults not hurting anyone. Its time to quit letting ourselves get hurt because someone doesn't approve of what we do.

 

Thank you, Bill. That's exactly why I'm sticking to my guns and the reason I've posted here. Yes, I've had advice saying I should have hidden my details or whatever, but I didn't because I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong. I'm a grown woman, a good employee and a good mother to my children. I just happen to want to make friends in the lifestyle, and have a fairly nice body that my hubby has shown off on an amateur pic posting site. Why should that be illegal or immoral?

 

Actually, another big reason behind my post was the (seemingly hopeless) thought that someone might know of a precedent that's been set with this kind of incident. I can't be the first person to be dismissed because of the lifestyle and putting related pictures up, can I? Maybe someone knows of an attorney who has experience with issues within the lifestyle?

[LOL_OMG 130]

Okay I've done a little research and I found the conduct and discipline guidelines I was thinking of. This pertains to federal employees but I would guess that even a local govt would have HR guidelines.

 

This comes from the table of penalties:

Misconduct generally; criminal, infamous, immoral, perverted, or notoriously disgraceful conduct. - 30-day suspension to removal (first offence).

 

That being said, the employee is to be given written notice of the proposed action at least 30 days in advance of the effective date. The employee is also given at least 15 days to respond, after which they make a final decision.

 

Union or not...there are almost always rules an employer (especially a government employer) has to follow. I would look into your HR guidelines, they may be online depending on the size of the locality. You might also want to contact your local EEOC office. I'm not sure if they can help but it's worth a try.

 

Mrs LOL

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

fun4Ds said:

 

#1 what the hell did you do to make someone mad enough to stalk you for years, countless hours a day till they finally busted you on sls?

 

#2 were you checking your profile AT WORK ON A WORK COMPUTER ever? even if just once?

 

#3 you don't know who did this to you but.. you know how many hours a day they stalked you?

 

if you can give us any feed back we would appreciate it.

 

1. I've answered you privately.

 

2. No, I've never used a work machine to do anything related to my private life.

 

3. I DO know who did it. I know they spent hours each day looking for information on me through a mutual friend. I've tried the Police and Courts but can't do anything about it unless the person makes a confession or is caught in the act. My suspicions (even though they're 100% founded) count for nothing. I paid an attorney just to find that out, the Police have told me they believe me but are powerless without physical proof, and the Courts say they won't act on the basis of threatening emails, nor will they issue a same-sex injunction.

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Okay I've done a little research...

 

Mrs LOL

 

Thank you again, Mrs LOL.

 

This was my first offence. I received no warnings, no threats, just a letter and dismissal on the spot. I was even escorted out of the building

 

My HR guidelines say nothing about private life, other than the fact that any action outside of work that breaks state or federal laws or includes misappropriation of funds must be reported. Use of Internet is covered, but only in regards to workplace use.

 

I've already left messages with my local EEOC office - I'm still waiting for somebody to call me back. I did speak to an Employment Attorney who believes I've got an excellent case, but unfortunately he only represents employees in the Private Sector.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to do your helpful research, Mrs LOL

[Mr. Truelove 81]

I think someone else posted the best reply already.

 

Lawyer.

 

Good luck! =/

[biblonde 22]

First I would call a lawyer...then since she had to sign up for the site and become a member well....turn about it fair play...they would have to fire her for being on the same site or then It is even more evidence of discrimination....but really go to your labor board and file a complaint. I dont know the laws in your state so not sure if there is any recourse but if I were you I would push the issue. Hey you were already outed so you really have nothing to loose! Then when it is all done with take the BITCH that went after you out back and knock the crap out of her!! he he he he sorry my mean side slips out every once in a while.

[JnCC 24]

There have been some excellent responses to this question. I hope the OP follows up with the ACLU and/or EEOC on this matter.

 

I can't wait for the day that some company or local municipality loses a multi-milion dollar lawsuit over this kind of shit. Maybe that will make them think twice about firing people for things that have NO bearing on their ability to perform their job.

 

Don't think it can't happen. There was a time in this country when you could fire a person simply for being black, or female, or gay. Not that you can't do that now, it's just that now, it'll co$t you. And we're talkin' LOTS of zeros here, too.

 

Good luck to you. I just wish I was in a position to hand-carry your resume into my place of employment...

[LOL_OMG 130]

I've done a little more research, looking at a school district in NC (it may or may not be yours). At-will employees do have an appeal process. In addition, the superintendant is allowed to give you a suspension (with pay) if they think the employee must be removed from the premises immediately....while an investigation is taking place. It was in the employee handbook section of their website.

 

Mrs LOL

[Chicup 41]

Last week I lost my job of 18 years after she reported finding one of my swing profiles (on a site requiring membership) as well as finding erotic pics of me on an amateur pic-posting site.

 

I think this is why you will have no recourse, there have been MANY public firings for this sort of thing as of late, and you work for a school so you can be sure they have a morality clause in their contract. You would have been equally fired for posing for playboy.

 

WHY do people think naked pictures of themselves are a good idea? Take a lesson from Dr. Laura, there is NO good that will come from others having your nude photos ever.

[LOL_OMG 130]

Okay, sigh. I didn't read that part of the original post. If you posted erotic pics on a free site I'm pretty sure you're hosed.

 

You may have an appeal process, but in that process you will probably lose. Your supervisor may have had a kneejerk reaction by firing you immediately (and not suspending you with pay). I think the best you could hope for is a small severance, with alot of embarassment facing people you don't know asking questions you don't want to answer.

 

Keep in mind that there are alot of stories ATM about teachers having sex with their students. I'm sure there have been briefings and videos that every school employee has to watch about inappropriate behavior. They will say you were aware of policies and they have a zero tolerance for sexual deviancy, which they will say you were also aware of.

 

Chicup is right. Nude pics can do you no good at all. Tell potential partners that if they wanna see you nude they have to do it in person (with no cameras).

 

If this isn't the case, let us know.

 

Mrs LOL

[2jersey 16]

WHY do people think naked pictures of themselves are a good idea? Take a lesson from Dr. Laura, there is NO good that will come from others having your nude photos ever.

 

Do avatars count?

[Chicup 41]

Do avatars count?

 

Only if you have a morality clause at work and they can identify your boobie

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I'm not a lawyer, but I am in Human Resources. I haven't read all four pages of replies, but basically, as it currently stands, unless you are in a protected class of citizens (minority, disabled, age, sex, etc) and you can prove they acted in a way that discriminated against you, I'm afraid they absolutely can do so. Especially if they have a morality clause, or if their internal policy has always been to handle situations in this manner, and they can prove that they are consistent in applying that policy, you're pretty much out of luck, according to the way employment laws are currently interpreted. If an employer can choose not to hire you because you are a smoker even on your own time (which they currently can), I can certainly see where this situation would work in much the same way.

 

Now, human resources law can change in a blink of an eye and it's hard to say that what they can and can't do. Right now, they can do it without breaking any laws, and, I'd be willing to bet (if they have a HR person with any sense) that they've already contacted an attorney concerning this matter. Probably the attorney that you've sought out sees an opportunity to take the case pretty far. Good luck if you decide to pursue it. I'd be interested to see the outcome.

 

Pepper

[Lovely Jubblies 15]

Thanks for the continued posts, everyone. This is all having a profoundly negative effect on us as you can well imagine. Regardless of the fact that I had erotic pics on an amateur site, I still feel it's unfair that an employer can have a say in what we do in our private lives. I know I mentioned this earlier (and was partly ridiculed for it) but why is it ok to be seen drinking and smoking outside of work yet it can't be 'discovered' that you're willing to have consensual sex with another adult in the privacy of your own home, or that you can't post self pics on a site that's dedicated to that. I was told by my boss that the problem was that someone could stumble across my pics and that would reflect on my job. But my pics and profile were on sites requiring registration (the swing profile was on SLS) and could only be 'stumbled upon' by someone who registered, recognised me, knew my name then Googled my name and eventually found it on my employer's own website. How is that fair? It seems that even if I can be dismissed for my private life, then that is by definition forcing swinging and amateur pic posting underground, almost akin to illegal activities.