How would you feel if a couple asks you to play, and not your spouse?

[gaznrachy 15]

This may seem like a dumb question...but we would appreciate your feedback.

 

We go to clubs as a couple, maybe have fun together, maybe swap, maybe meet a guy for a threesome...we just go with the flow

 

My questions is really to couples, last night we saw a couple I really liked the look of her. My wife didn't go for him. However she said why not approach them and ask as they may well be into threesomes too. My wife had no issue with me having some fun with them on my own as we are comfortable with this if the situation arises.

 

This makes perfect sense and we wouldn't be offended if someone were to approach us with that question...we'd either say yes or no thanks.

 

So couples would you be offended if a married guy approached and said something like "I think your wife is beautiful....are you into threesomes" (short version of course). I wouldn't want to make lots of small talk because A it could lead know where and B I would be leaving my wife out.

 

Please guys give me your views

[JnCC 24]

So, basically, you're telling the guy, "My wife thinks you're ugly and wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole. But I'd still like to fuck your wife."

 

Frankly, I'm kind of surprised you asked that question. How would you respond to that, if asked?

 

Threesomes are one thing. But there's a whole different dynamic at play when you tell someone that their spouse is specifically NOT invited into whatever play scenario you have planned.

[LOL_OMG 130]

For us, we swing together. We wanna see each other having fun. So just that fact alone would make us say no. We also like the couples thing so if we were approached by a single either male/female we would prolly say no.

 

Having said that if all of the above were not an issue....I think it's a double standard really. If the female of the couple came to us and said "I would love to have sex with you"....I'd be like "ooooh she think's we're hot!" But if the male only came up and said the same thing, I think hubby would say "what am I, chopped liver?"

 

I'll have the Mr take a look at this and he can say whether I'm full of beans or not.

 

Mrs LOL

[Spoomonkey 420]

This makes perfect sense and we wouldn't be offended if someone were to approach us with that question...we'd either say yes or no thanks.

 

We'd say "no" - but we wouldn't be offended by it. I mean - you don't if you don't ask - but be prepared for most people to be turned off by it. My guess is that you'll strike out without swinging almost everytime you step up to that plate.

 

I think, like JnCC mentions, lots of folks will probably take it as an insult. If a "true" single approaches us their is no negative implication.

 

Spoomonkey

[Chicup 41]

How come with this situation its never the wife who wants the threesome and always the husband

 

"My husband doesn't want to play tonight, but are you into threesomes?"

[TNT 1,155]

Actually we were just approached today to have a threesome with a wife. The hubby is out of town on an extended business trip and would like to watch on webcam Addressing the original question, no, our feelings wouldn't be hurt. There are far too many fish in the sea to worry about someone not being attracted to one of us. Whether we would play with them or not would be up to the general vibe.

 

Ted

[Spoomonkey 420]

Actually we were just approached today to have a threesome with a wife.

 

Yeah...

 

But you're TED...

 

I mean - come on - some guys get all the luck

 

Spoomonkey

[LOL_OMG 130]

At this time I would say no to threesomes either way, im sure that could be subject to change in the future.

 

Thx

Mr Lol_omg

[Chicup 41]

Actually we were just approached today to have a threesome with a wife. The hubby is out of town on an extended business trip and would like to watch on webcam Addressing the original question, no, our feelings wouldn't be hurt. There are far too many fish in the sea to worry about someone not being attracted to one of us. Whether we would play with them or not would be up to the general vibe.

 

Ted

 

And those people never need to post here about it

[OttawaCuple 15]

For us, we swing together. We wanna see each other having fun. So just that fact alone would make us say no. We also like the couples thing so if we were approached by a single either male/female we would prolly say no.

 

Having said that if all of the above were not an issue....I think it's a double standard really. If the female of the couple came to us and said "I would love to have sex with you"....I'd be like "ooooh she think's we're hot!" But if the male only came up and said the same thing, I think hubby would say "what am I, chopped liver?"

 

I'll have the Mr take a look at this and he can say whether I'm full of beans or not.

 

Mrs LOL

I agree with Mrs LOL that a single woman approaching a couple would likely be more welcome than a single man, by virtue of the fact that a single woman would likely be interested in playing with both halves of a couple whereas the single man would likely just want to play with the female half. (Likely, being the key word here, as there are some couples who like MFM play as well, though I don't think there are as many as those who like FFM/FMF play)

 

Perhaps, when you're interested in joining a couple to share the pleasuring of the female half, if your wife could arrange to be already occupied in a FFM threesome with another couple (which I'd think she'd have no problem setting up), then you could approach another couple for a threesome without them feeling like your wife is dissing the male half by sitting it out.

 

MrsOC

[Chicup 41]

Just to make a distinction, the OP isn't nearly as far off as the last time I recall this comming up.

 

Then the couple basically wanted the female half of the couple to play with THEM, while in this case its more of a hall pass for the husband because the wife isn't interested.

 

On the level of insult, this is FAR less insulting then 'Can we borrow your wife, we find you ugly' as the couple approached both get to play, while the other wife checks out the chip dip for a while I guess

 

To the OP, I'd say go for it, it might happen, but most likely won't, but I don't see to many people being put out by it.

[JnCC 24]

How come with this situation its never the wife who wants the threesome and always the husband

 

"My husband doesn't want to play tonight, but are you into threesomes?"

And why is it always the SAME guy at every party who is asking the question? What I've seen in a couple of situations is that the woman is chronically unwilling or unavailable for play, while the guy always is. I don't know this for a fact, but I suspect that with a lot of these "couples," it's the guy who has either decided his wife isn't going to swing, or she's made the decision not to even before they arrive, and he's just trying to score whatever he can before she drags his sorry ass out of there.

 

If a person already knows the couple or has some history with them, and there's some other reason his female half chooses not to play, I don't see a problem with his asking about joining solo. But if he came to the party as part of a couple, or his admittance was predicated on the fact that he was part of a couple, then I think the proper etiguette would be for him not to approach anybody unless both he and his wife were prepared to play.

[2jersey 16]

Just to make a distinction, the OP isn't nearly as far off as the last time I recall this comming up.

 

Then the couple basically wanted the female half of the couple to play with THEM, while in this case its more of a hall pass for the husband because the wife isn't interested.

 

On the level of insult, this is FAR less insulting then 'Can we borrow your wife, we find you ugly' as the couple approached both get to play, while the other wife checks out the chip dip for a while I guess

 

To the OP, I'd say go for it, it might happen, but most likely won't, but I don't see to many people being put out by it.

 

We have experienced a variation of this scenario online - female wants to play with Mrs 2jersey - both men are to remain sidelined (completely). We've been surpsied at the number of couples who swing mainly/solely so their female can play with other females.

[Chicup 41]

We have experienced a variation of this scenario online - female wants to play with Mrs 2jersey - both men are to remain sidelined (completely). We've been surpsied at the number of couples who swing mainly/solely so their female can play with other females.

 

Yea thats pretty common, we have this very clearly as something we don't want in our profile, we still get mail.

[TeamSoBe 36]

So couples would you be offended if a married guy approached and said something like "I think your wife is beautiful....are you into threesomes"

Sorry but honestly yes I would. (male half of couple speaking.)

 

You're walking up to me and saying, "My wife is here but she's not into you, but I still want to fuck your wife, can I?" I would be silently offended and as a couple we would politely tell you to screw off.

[ItTakes3 19]

Having been in that situation, I can say, yes, it is offensive and insulting.

[Guest clem]

What's g-r-e-a-t about being a bi male is that, provided he's not a total jerk in his approach and my beautiful hotwife is interested in him, AND I like him too, we can make allowances for this if the married guy (acting individually in this scenario) is "up" for it. We've met a "straight" male or two that is not quite so straight this way. Shocking.

My Dear and I don't play seperately; but I can understand others that do. That gives some opportunity to the male of a "couple" that never really plays as a couple as well.

clem

(by-the-way, we'll start posting more often off the leggzdiamond moniker; it's us.)

[gaznrachy 15]

Thanks guys!

 

A whole range of replies! Pretty much confirming what we thought

 

If I'm a single guy approaching thats OK, but if I'm with my wife that's generally (from your responses) not OK as it offends the man.

 

We can understand this, although personally we wouldn't be offended; many would. So I guess we'll stick to the usual for now

[Additude 457]

I would say your wife already had her sights set on someone else that she wanted to screw without you there and she is trying to get rid of you for that purpose, so while you are off having your fun, she can be off having her fun.

 

Not a problem with that as long as it's all up and up.

 

For me, most of the fun is watching my wife have fun. So for us, I'm sure my wife wouldn't have any "Marital" issues with it and we would probably go have a threesome.

 

But as a couple, I think I would personally have this thought in the back of my mind about feeling rejected. I'd ask, "Why doesn't the other woman want to be with me? I guess I'm not good enough for her". For me it would be just a thought, not a show stopper.

 

However I think this scenario happens frequently at clubs. I've seen many husbands and wives split up and go their seperate ways.

 

So the answer is it depends on who you approach. Some people have 1001 rules they play by and they create all kinds of mind boggling if, ands, buts, do's and don'ts. Then some couples go to the club to play and leave all the drama rules out of it and just fuck for fun.

 

It doesn't hurt to ask. If the wife of the other male finds you charming, then she has powers of persuasion over her husband.

[good times 991]

This is an interesting thread because we have been discussing this a bit lately. In fact, we have been approached by several men and a couple of women for this in the last couple of months.

 

We go to several different on-premise clubs. At most of them I would agree with what has been said so far, which is that most would be offended. We go to one club though, that this is very common. At this club it is not unusual for couples to split up and play. Its funny, but at the clubs where this isn't common, I might be offended if someone asked to play with us without their spouse, but at the club where this is common we get approached for this quite often and I have never taken offense.

 

So my answer is that it kind of depends on the situation, but I can't really say how to determine if it is ok or not.

[aviancpl 15]

We'd be saying "no thanks" regardless if it were the husband OR wife doing the asking, but honestly wouldn't be offended (simply because we're usually determined not to ruin our club vibe getting bent out of shape)

 

Those situations just have way too much potential for drama, and with so many other couples in the club why chance that?

[EvilMJ 65]

my first thought was yes we would be offended....but then I thought a little harder and realized, no we wouldn't because this has happened.

 

There is a couple we know who only play with bi women. They approached me to see if I wanted to play with them, I checked with hubby on his opinon of this and he said he didn't mind, he wanted me to have some fun. Of course like I said we know this couple and they love my hubby to death, so there is no drama.

 

So I guess it is a case by case basis, how we are asked and who is asking.

[Amanda69 24]

I also thought maybe offended but then after some more thought NO.

 

At house parties couples often split up and go off in twosomes, threesomes and moresomes. Whatever floats your boat at the time.

 

If we are not interested in playing separately at the time I would simply say thanks but no thanks.

[GerdOEvert 51]

We had the experience at the club we regularly visited.

 

Often a man would approach Eileen, occassionally I would

approach a woman.

 

Not a big problem after the first visits. It seemed to me that the

first five or six visits to a club were to be comfortable and be

included in the groups.

 

For what it is worth, we have swung at places other than our

main club, but the main club seened the best all around. We were

sorry when a fire destroyed the place.

 

Our only question was --- Was it accidental or intentional, since

the place was struggling in spite of three days a week of operation.

A big place takes a fair number of dollars, and at the time $35 a couple

probably did not go very far.

 

As a compliment, We travelled to Alameda/Oakland and were at a club

there that was even better thant he one back East. I wonder if the

Club in Alameda/Oakland still operates.

 

Otto & Eileen

[HappyPeople 17]

The only way it would be okay with us is if the guy was bi and his wife wasn't into seeing him play that way but approved him going it alone.