Discretion & You

[rpu3 630]

1. Do you use the same email address to surf adult/swinger websites that you use for your family?

 

Nope. I have one e-mail for swinging, etc., and two for friends and family and online services, etc. Friends/family use either of the two.

 

2. Do you post facial nude pictures on sites where they can be seen without any sort of joining process (ie. in your Yahoo Profile)?

 

No.

 

3. Would you post said facial nude pictures in combination with information stating that you swing someplace (like a Yahoo profile) where people can see it without any sort of joining process (free or otherwise).

 

No.

 

4. Do you use your real names (as a username or as part of your email address) when dealing with people online in regards to adult activities?

 

No. For the most part, rpu3 is what I use for adult activities. I've slipped once or twice and used the rpu3 when I should have used the regular screen name or addy, but all the adult should be rpu3 as a screen name or relate to that alternative e-mail address.

 

Further, I think long and hard before mixing the vanilla and alternative worlds, or telling a vanilla about the alternative stuff. I think we are pretty discrete, but I can't say I'm deleting histories or cookies off my personal laptop daily, or neurotic about hiding everything. Mostly, we just use common sense.

[magnum 78]

Seeing posts here about how someone lost their job over posting their pictures online, getting messages from others who want to change their screen name to "come out of the closet" a bit, and I wonder about some things.

 

1. Do you use the same email address to surf adult/swinger websites that you use for your family?

 

2. Do you post facial nude pictures on sites where they can be seen without any sort of joining process (ie. in your Yahoo Profile)?

 

3. Would you post said facial nude pictures in combination with information stating that you swing someplace (like a Yahoo profile) where people can see it without any sort of joining process (free or otherwise).

 

4. Do you use your real names (as a username or as part of your email address) when dealing with people online in regards to adult activities?

 

If you do any of these, WHY? Why do you take such huge risks? I know we've had topics in the past about how swingers should be able to be more open about who they are and what they do, but in reality unless your job is related to swinging, your family already knows and you don't have any kids from a previous marriage, the risks are definately there and are things you should be thinking about. It's easy for some of us who's entire lives (livelihood) is based on swinging to say that we should be more out as a group, we have a lot less to lose. But for most swingers that is not the case.

 

Some things to think about.

- Anything you post HERE (and on many other sites) can be Googled. So if your screenname is your real names, or a name you use regularly on other sites and someone Googles you, they will find you here (this is why in the registration process I suggest that you do not use your Real Names in your screen name).

- If you have a profile someplace like Yahoo, anyone can view that, so be careful what you put in it. They've been used in court before.

- Most sites, including this one, will do what they can to help protect you and help you be discrete but we can only do so much. You have to use common sense from the beginning.

 

I recently saw a couple who I thought had the utmost of discretion go to all ends to wipe their online slate because they had been using screen names that were the same as names the general public knew them by and someone else decided to be indiscrete with their information.

 

So please be careful and think things through. Think about what you may have to lose and think about what you can do to protect it.

 

Yes, in an ideal world we all should be able to be open and honest about what we do and shouldn't be anyone else's business. But, this is not an ideal world, this is a world where what we do is still ILLIGAL in many states (the legal definition of adultery doesn't consider whether or not our spouse approves), and still considered immoral by most.

 

I have always used a "screen name" not me real name, I have taken a lot of photos over the years, some with my face/nude some w/o my face/nude. I did not intend for my face to make the photo in some cases, but it did in a few cases and they are out there for people to see. So far I have been lucky and no one has said "hey I recognize you from so and so's adult web site".

 

Good point Julie, even with screen names I am guessing we are not really anonymus.

 

To bad we need to to so concerned about our adult "play" dates etc. Part of the turn on/excitement/fun is taking photos.

[DesireCancunCpl 32]

yes we block "free members" from viewing our SLS profile too!

[NCfuncouple98 367]

1. Do you use the same email address to surf adult/swinger websites that you use for your family?

 

2. Do you post facial nude pictures on sites where they can be seen without any sort of joining process (ie. in your Yahoo Profile)?

 

3. Would you post said facial nude pictures in combination with information stating that you swing someplace (like a Yahoo profile) where people can see it without any sort of joining process (free or otherwise).

 

4. Do you use your real names (as a username or as part of your email address) when dealing with people online in regards to adult activities?

 

We have not been in the lifestyle long. The first couple I chatted with, I did give my yahoo account, where my last name was part of the ID. Didn't even think about it, really.

 

Since then, we did talk about it and setup a separate yahoo account just for swinging - websites and chatting. The first couple was given this new account with the explanation that we only login to this account when we are together, as we do not chat alone, so please change your records. She agreed. Last week we were chatting - set up a dinner date. They cancelled that morning. Later that same evening, we chatted some more - they apologized profusely, and we even talked on the phone. Saturday, she wanted to meet me for lunch sometime this week. After thinking about it, hubbie and I decided to decline - as we would prefer to meet a couple together. I did not log into our swing account the rest of the weekend - had too much family stuff going on, and sometimes you just don't want to chat! Well, she continued to use my other account, and send me 2 emails. I have to figure out if there is a way to block someone in yahoo?

 

Moral of the story? Setup a separate account so that your family/normal account is not bombarded!

[sweet_tna 680]

1. Do you use the same email address to surf adult/swinger websites that you use for your family?

 

Nope

 

2. Do you post facial nude pictures on sites where they can be seen without any sort of joining process (ie. in your Yahoo Profile)?

 

Nope

 

3. Would you post said facial nude pictures in combination with information stating that you swing someplace (like a Yahoo profile) where people can see it without any sort of joining process (free or otherwise).

 

Nope

 

4. Do you use your real names (as a username or as part of your email address) when dealing with people online in regards to adult activities?

 

Our first names are listed in our SLS profile, but our first names are pretty common. I've thought of changing that, but I doubt it would make much difference. If they've been to our home, they'd recognize our furniture or curtains in the background anyway--even without face pics.

 

I think we all take some measure of risk using the internet for any lifestyle related purposes. But like everything else in the lifestyle, we have to decide whether it's worth the risk and take reasonable measures (like Julie suggested).

 

=)

[Chicup 42]

We will be putting up a new add soonish ™

 

We will NOT have face pictures.

We will have a full new email only for swinging.

We will ONLY pay with paypal or something of that nature.

 

We got partially outted. It wasn't a big deal but it could have been.

 

It will make things a bit harder but ah well.

[AprilMike 16]

1. Do you use the same email address to surf adult/swinger websites that you use for your family? .........................Yes, we are VERY open about us being swingers. In fact my dad still uses my wife's old "adult" website email.

 

2. Do you post facial nude pictures on sites where they can be seen without any sort of joining process (ie. in your Yahoo Profile)? ..............Yes, see above.

 

3. Would you post said facial nude pictures in combination with information stating that you swing someplace (like a Yahoo profile) where people can see it without any sort of joining process (free or otherwise). ................Yes, we have had MANY people approach us looking for that reason,,,,even in regular stores.

 

4. Do you use your real names (as a username or as part of your email address) when dealing with people online in regards to adult activities?,,,,,,,,,,, on some emails, yes. April is her real name. When she had a website it was in there. When she danced it was her stage name. To us, we dont have to worry about losing our jobs over it, and our friends and family know,,, so we dont have to bury secrets or lies.