Ladies, do you want to see your guy having sex with another guy?

[Transld 17]

It is universally known that the #1 fantasy of men is to be with two women or watch two women together. Dnd don’t get me wrong it is a wonderful thing, but I was wondering:

 

Ladies, you seem to have no problem being with other ladies in an fmf or fmfm for the most part, but for guys, totally different story. Is there penis paranoia? Why will guys ask woman to eat another woman but avoid giving head?

 

I was that that way myself until she said I want to see you sucking a cock. We started with a strap-on and went from there.

 

Ladies what do you think, do you want this or not? Guys you know you would suck your own if you could so let hear it. Look forward to hearing the comments.

[Spoomonkey 421]

The truth is, you just aren't comparing apples to apples.

 

FF is not the same as MM - there just is no way around that... I am not interested in other men - period. Mrs Spoo is only slightly interested in other women. And while I do enjoy watching her with another woman - she doesn't do it for me. So - the issue of "fair play" that will inevitably be brought up is a moot point. She does it for her - not for me.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

I agree totally with Spoo. Both the women in my life are bi, but not because I enjoy it( which i do!), but it is just who they are and what they enjoy. When we first got into the lifestyle we met a couple that were intersted in other couples with a bi female, but they were only intersted in the women playing.( a pretty common thing) The woman told us that she wasn't intersted in playing with other men and there fore her husband wasn't going to play with other women. But that if he wanted to play with other men that was fine, since she liked playing with other women. In her way of thinking that was fair. The problem with that was her husband was straight and had no interst in men. To us that is a very selfish and narrowminded attitude. She gets to play with others even though she chooses women, but she limits his play options to only men, claiming that he could play with others ( men) if he wanted, it is not her fault he is straight. I/we personally don't understand that same attitude from some couples in the lifestyle. If someone is bi and enjoys that great, but if someone is straight, then that is great too. Over the years in the lifestyle, I have noticed that several of the straight women we have met get intimadated alot because, there are a lot of bi women in the lifestyle that think they can "convert" them to being bi. Because of that attitude several of thoses couples tend to not be intersted in couples where the women are bi. Again I/we have never understood why some people feel the need to try and force issues like that. Neither Mrs Menage or the Other Mrs. Menage have ever tried to push the bi thing with women that were straight, we are all there to have fun and they can still have fun, even when it is just straight play.

[JnCC 24]

Guys you know you would suck your own if you could so let hear it.

I beg your pardon! I would NOT "suck my own" even if I could!

 

The mere thought of having to change my own diapers a few years down the road is highly repulsive to me. Under NO circumstances would I suck my own dick!

[Thrax 384]

I beg your pardon! I would NOT "suck my own" even if I could!

 

The mere thought of having to change my own diapers a few years down the road is highly repulsive to me. Under NO circumstances would I suck my own dick!

Yeah, I can sympathize...my dick is too short for me to "suck my own", too.

[good times 991]

It is universally know that the #1 fantasy of men is it be with two women or watch two women together

Not in my universe, while I will admit it is one of the more common male sexual fantasies I doubt if it is anywhere near number one. For example, I think most guys use most of their fantasy time fantasizing about getting laid. Then their are a lot of guys that are like me, two girls getting it on does nothing more for me than seeing two girls standing naked doing nothing. Come to think of it, I bet a lot of guys fantasize about naked chicks.

 

Ladies you seam to have no problem being with other ladies in an fmf or fmfm for the most part, guys totally different story. Is there penis paranoia?

How come it is that whenever someone isn't into something, the people that are into it think the ones that are not are paranoid or something? I'm just not into guys, guys do less for me than watching two girls get it on. On the other hand, just a couple of nights ago I was enjoying a little sex with a woman while another guy was having sex with my wife just inches away from me in the same bed. Didn't make me paranoid at all.

 

Why will guys ask woman to eat another woman but avoid giving head.

Like others have said, my wife does what she likes to do, as do I. I wouldn't even think about asking her to do something that she wasn't interested in. But if she was, it wouldn't change a thing for me, I still wouldn't suck a guys dick. Nor is any guy going to suck mine......and live.

 

Guys you know you would suck your own if you could so let hear it.

I don't know if I would or not, I'm not that flexible, so it isn't an option. But I think it is a stretch to think that just because you would do something to yourself that you would be willing to do it to someone else. I was going to give an example here, but couldn't think of one that wouldn't gross everyone out.

[Twist & Venus 21]

I have not yet but I would love to suck another mans cock. I have wondered for years what it would be like. It also would turn my wife on a lot. I have done it with one of her dildos as well but I don't think it is the same.

 

My wife and I use this scenario all the time when we are having sex.

 

I think one of the other questions that needs to go with this is as a man would you spit or swallow?

 

Me I would start by swallowing and take it from there. We use this as well.

[lil oral annie 17]

My first reaction, sadly, was "absolutely not."

 

But she indulges in nearly all my fantasies, so I felt wrong in denying her this one.

 

So, now I've thought about it. I've gone through "no, never," to "maybe," to "someday," to "I think I can do it." Truth be told, if it is not your fantasy, and it is not hers, no problem. In fact, I'm not even sure why you'd voice an opinion on this thread if neither desires this. But if it is the guys and not the girls, or the girls and not the guys, who would indulge, or take one for the team, so to speak? I think that is the heart of this thread.

 

That's where I stand.

[Spoomonkey 421]

in fact, i'm not even sure why you'd voice an opinion on this thread if neither desires this.

 

Because of statements like this:

 

but she indulges in nearly all my fantasies, so I felt wrong in denying her this one.

 

This always ends up being the argument (though I have no problem with people revisiting this debate). "She does it for him, so he should do it for her."

 

Personally, I find relationships like that to be very strange. Granted, there are as many ways to make a relationship work as their are relationships, so I am not saying it is wrong, per se, but the fact of the matter is in our relationship "she is NOT doing it for him."

 

We swing by the principle that she only does what she is comfortable with. If she engages in a little bi-play it isn't "for me" - it is for her. She's not indulging my fantasy - but her's.

 

If your wife is doing that for you - in such a way that you then feel obligated to have sex with a guy - then you have to ask yourself, why are you putting that sort of pressure on her? I say, just let her play the way she wants.

 

That's what we do and as it turns out all of my fantasies get fulfilled.

 

Personally - I think the justification that you are "doing it for the wife because you feel obligated" is just a way to avoid simply saying you want to blow a guy.

[Amanda69 24]

Come on guys I realize you have all been around for a while but just how many different questions do you expect to be asked.

 

It was fair questions if you don't wish to answer (again) then don't allow some of us newer posters the chance to answer instead. I have been posting for over 6 years on various sites and yes I have seen all the questions but never would I put someone down for posting a similar question. There are thousands of threads on here I wouldn't expect anyone to go through them all.

 

Transld - yes it is universally known through various studies done all over the world that the # 1 fantasy of men is two women together.

 

The lifestyle has gradually moved towards a large percentage of women being either bi, or open to bi activities in terms of their play with others. Yes there is some level of pressure from this. On the site I post on in Canada a commonly asked question from women is...Do I have to participate in girl on girl activities? as it is so prevelant.

 

At the same time yes, there is a fear of the reverse, two men. Some guys simply aren't open to it...hey it is their choice others are afraid of the other males reaction if they are open to it...

 

Personally (female speaking) I would love to see two guys sucking each other off...sorry but it is a fantasy of mine....and oddly enough I have seen a video of a guy doing himself, very interesting. I have also heard quite a large number of men joke that if they could be as flexible as a dog they wouldn't need a woman all the time.

 

Yes I would love my partner to allow some other types of play, will he? Well that is a whole other story.

 

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Transld - yes it is universally known through various studies done all over the world that the # 1 fantasy of men is two women together.

 

 

I must be the 1% in this study since seeing two women do each other does nothing but bore me.

[lil oral annie 17]

Wow. There does seem to be hostility on this thread. I'm not 100% sure why, but it is there.

 

I do wish to clarify a few things, though. Firstly, she does indulge my fantasies, and I do this for her. We like to hear each other's fantasies, talk them out, and if they are at all possible, fulfill them. For instance, the club where we like to go. We hear about the club from a friend. I was keenly interested; she was reluctant. After a few discussions we went, and we both had a great time. Should I now chastise myself for "pressuring her"? I don't think so. wW listen; we try. As of yet, nothing I've mentioned has been too kinky for her, nothing that caused her to stop and say "no."

 

During one of our talks, she asked me if I'd go down on another guy. I said, "NO!" But I have an hypothesis, as I often do: never say never when talking sex. I've done things now that ten years ago I would've said never. Who knows how you'll feel in ten years? Even you who are totally against it may some day try it.

 

I'm not trying to cover for my own desire to suck some guy off. I don't know if I could do it. But I know I'll keep an open mind and consider it. If the situation arises, who knows? I don't know why there is such a stigma that goes along with this act.

[Spoomonkey 421]

should I now chastise myself for "pressuring her"?

 

If she agreed to go - no.

 

But, did she go because she "owed you one"? Or did she go and then come home and tell you that you now owed her a week of dishes?

 

My point is that if Mrs Spoo said, "I don't want to go to a swing club" (which she did in the beginning) we wouldn't go (and we didn't). We only started going when she became interested in doing it - no pressure, no trading off, no obligations.

 

The same thing with sex - she fulfills all of my fantasies, but never once has she "indulged" me. Big difference. Swinging is not a barter system at our house - it is not a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" proposition. We only do what we are BOTH comfortable with and interested in.

 

I don't "owe" her anything.

 

We are, as I probably say far too often, "partners in crime" - totally on the same page and into this for US as a couple. We do what WE want to do. Neither of us is going to persuade or sell or otherwise press the other.

 

Do we discuss? Absolutely. Have we changed our MO? Of course. But this has been the result of patience, mutual respect and constant reassurances.

 

Maybe, in the end we are debating semantics, but I am NEVER (there, I said it) going to blow a guy. And if Mrs Spoomonkey is going down on other women because she thinks that I eventually will feel obligated to "try guy" then she made a huge mistake. And, yes, she'd hear the very same rant you are hearing if she ever decided to say to me, "But, honey, I've done girls..."

 

That would be a tragic day at Spoomonkey Ranch.

 

Fortunately, she isn't the least bit interested in watching MM action. It would be a huge turn-off for her. So, we are well met.

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

i don't know why there is such a stigma that goes along with this act.

 

Does it have to be an issue of whether or not it's a stigma? That presumes that guys want to suck off another guy but don't because of the "stigma". No it is just a matter of preference...likes and dislikes. I like pizza with meat on it but not veggies. It's a matter of taste not a matter of getting branded with being a "vegetarian". Some men just don't get off on the thought of being with another man...for those of you who do, please give it a rest that they are afraid of a stigma. :rollseyes:

[Chicup 41]

 

We are, as I probably say far too often, "partners in crime" - totally on the same page and into this for US as a couple. We do what WE want to do. Neither of us is going to persuade or sell or otherwise press the other.

 

Do we discuss? Absolutely. Have we changed our MO? Of course. But this has been the result of patience, mutual respect and constant reassurances.

 

Ditto

 

If you understand this you understand why so many of us feel swinging made our marriages stronger than ever. We have never done anything in this WE didn't want to do. This isn't a quid pro quo arrangement. If ever WE are out of sync in what we want to do, we don't do it.

[Chicup 41]

 

I'm not trying to cover for my own desire to suck some guy off. I don't know if I could do it. But I know I'll keep an open mind and consider it. If the situation arises, who knows? I don't know why there is such a stigma that goes along with this act.

 

Well there is a stigma and you are correct in that, but its not what the issue is here. The stigma is a vanilla stigma, you know the old joke Girls can experiment in college but you get caught sucking one guy off in the locker room you are gay for life. (and like all jokes there is some real truth in there) but we are not afraid of stigmas. Hell I let other men have sex with my wife, that's gotta be a hell of a scarlet letter right there too. The issue the concept that you should do something you really don't want to do just because your partner wants you to. Men who try to force their wives to be swingers are not well thought of here, a wife that tries to get her man to commit a homosexual act unwillingly is no different.

 

For me and men like the Spooster, having sex with another man is not something we ever have any desire to do, if our wives wanted us to, we wouldn't, period. When people post about it and claim it is because their wife wants them to be fair (she did GG after all), it sounds like a smokescreen to us because such would never even be open to debate in our households.

[beaverz 18]

I have to admit for many years I had mentioned to Mrs. Beaverz “I would love to see her with another woman”, knowing it was only a fantasy. But now since swinging is eminent my mind set has changed.

 

Originally Posted by: Transld

Why will guys ask woman to eat another woman but avoid giving head.

I never ask Mrs. Beaverz to perform sexual acts and I definitely would not ask her to eat another woman or suck another guy off. She seems to know what she likes and how to please.

 

Don’t get me wrong I would love to see her with another woman, but only if she is sexually excited and not doing it for me. The same goes with another guy (her with another guy). Hell let’s face it I love to see her sexually excited period.

 

I do agree things can change; 10 years ago there was absolutely no thought of swinging with either of us. About 5 years back I had brought up my fantasy of watching her and another woman she responded with “I might be interest in that, but first I would like to try another guy and you could watch”. My initial reaction was “I don’t think so”. I have obviously changed. Maybe that’s when the idea of swinging was born.

 

There are many things that I am not interest in sexually; having sex with another guy is one of them. It doesn’t make it wrong just doesn’t excite me. There are many other things Mrs. Beaverz fantasies about and they certainly will stay fantasies. Believe me Mrs. Beavers has a very vivid imagination .

[lil oral annie 17]

Curious the amount of chastising directed at us. First, and I am saying it again here, I never forced her into anything. We discuss; we try. I said I felt obligated, not that she used an "I did for you..." type argument. I'm happy, or rather indifferent, that you guys have found a happy medium for swinging with your partners. Ours is simple: we're both open minded, free thinking individuals who love one another. If one wants to experience something sexually, the other tries to make it happen. We consider it inconsiderate to invalidate a fantasy with some queer hang-ups. At least we consider it. So while you may think our relationship does not live up to your utopian swinging lifestyle, we're very happy about it.

 

Now, another curious part of your rants against us is the fact that you feel the need to keep saying that you'd never even try it. If there was truly no stigma, as someone said, then why must you deny it in every response. And here again, I'm forced to wonder: why did you respond in the first place? It is of no interest to you, right?

 

I feel our approach is the best way to make sure that fantasies are fulfilled. We don't repress our desires. There is no harm in asking or discussing, unless your partner is unwilling to even consider your desires.

 

You're stuck on the word "indulge" in my original post. If the desire's mine and she goes WILLINGLY - I.E.: NOT THROUGH COERCION - I consider this an indulgence for me. Even if it's her fantasy, too. For instance, her with another woman is a fantasy we both had. She even brought it up first. But this is an indulgence for me. And since I did get to experience this because of her, I do like to do things for her. In other words, I want her to feel the joy of having a fantasy fulfilled.

 

I hope this clears things up. We are not evil, shadowy people manipulating one another.

 

I'm sorry if this seems hostile, but I think we are being cast in a poor light and getting a bad rep on this site. This, I don't want.

[BiWoman33 15]

"and here again, i'm forced to wonder: why did you respond in the first place? it is of no interest to you, right?"

 

You make important points, LOA. I don't think people are getting hostile, but there are some on the board who are such regular contributors that they take for granted the fact that many people aren't. And a lot of the regulars would seem to be the most secure, insightful, intelligent people you would ever meet. They may be just that. But in truth, no one will ever know for sure. There is great information and input from a pretty large variety of people. Some of them can't even spell worth a damn, yet still, they get their point across. Some offer up defenses instead of discussion; well, we are certainly human; indeed, fallible. As with all people , some will make more sense to you than others; anything that is not of value to you and your queries might be better off discarded. Keep your hat in the ring.

[pinquita 15]

 

Personally - I think the justification that you are "doing it for the wife because you feel obligated" is just a way to avoid simply saying you want to blow a guy.

 

I totally agree. A straight man will never even consider having sexual relations with another man, ( supposedly against his own will, because being heterosexual, he would not want to have that kind of relations ).... that explanation about doing it to please her, or to be fair...is baloney.....it is the perfect excuse to do something that is been sought ( by the husband that claims doing it for fairness) by this man.

 

I would never get involved with a man, not because I am unfair to women, but because I am a man, and I am heterosexual, and, heterosexual men have no desire for men.

 

If a man claims those desires under the cover of being fair, he is plain and simply a closeted gay man.

 

Just be honest to yourself and your SO, and, face the facts.

 

I would never ask my GF to have sex with a woman, to satisfy me. NEVER.

 

I would not respect a woman that would ask me to destroy my life, for her pleasure.

[plainspeople 17]

Personally, I would be more than glad to jump into a MMF situation w/ my wife, and be more active w/ the MM part. The Mrs and I have talked about this very situation, and she voices an extreme desire to be a part of, or witness to.... me being w/ another man. We just have never had the chance to. We have done the straihjt MFM, and she was very active in the several FMF/FFM encounters that we have had.

 

To us, it is not a gay thing, a lesbian thing, a bi- thing...it is several open adults engaged in any activity that makes them feel good about themselves, and make others feel good. No labels, no harm, no foul...just fun.

[FlaPlaya561 48]

Oh if I could only reach my own cock to suck it! If I get horny I'll suck my 8 inch dildo!

 

Bi-females are treated like Queens.

 

Bi-Males are shot on sight!

[Spoomonkey 421]

i'm sorry if this e-mail seems hostile, but i think we are being cast in a poor light and getting a bad rep on this sight. this, i don't want.

 

And I think you are taking things way too personally. You are not being cast in a bad light or demonized.

 

As you have stated in your post - their is no manipulation or coercion. So - this means that IF you should ever do a guy it WILL NOT be because she had sex with a woman, it will be because YOU want to.

 

I have no problem with that. In fact, that fits our "utopian" view of swinging to a "T".

 

Like you - we are open minded and honest.

 

Open minded enough to ask, "gee, is being a with a guy something I might like?"

 

Honest enough to say, "no."

 

You are not being chastised - you are being responded to. You have used words like "stigma" and "indulge"; Cliches like "never say never"; and have even rolled out the question "if you wouldn't do it, why ask?"

 

These are polarizing, weight bearing terms that are intended to cast a fairly heavy-handed judgement towards anyone who says "no, bi male play is not for me." Why? Because we are so afraid of a stigma that we won't indulge our wive's fantasies.

 

The funny thing is - it seems only bi-males feel like there is a "stigma". Not sure why, really. They take it so damn personally that us straight guys aren't interested in getting jiggy with them.

 

And the word "indulfe" was yours. If you had to go back and explain that it was an empty, misplaced word, whose fault is that?

 

And we have answered this thread because there was a question asked. If ONLY bi-males answered it then any newbie popping on the board could deduce that swinging was heavily bimale - and for me as a newbie, that would have turned me off to it.

 

Do what you want to do. But don't go down on a guy just because you feel you owe your wife something. I have always believed that obligation is the ugliest word in the lifestyle. And if that is not a part of your equation, then why would you keep defending it?

[good times 991]

Now, another curious part of your rants against us is the fact that you feel the need to keep saying that you'd never even try it. If there was truly no stigma, as someone said, then why must you deny it in every response. And here again, I'm forced to wonder: why did you respond in the first place? It is of no interest to you, right?

While my wife and I have a relationship that allows us to ask each other anything, we too are honest with each other when exploring those questions. The fact is, I am 100% straight, I am comfortable with this, no hang-ups, no problem, it is just the way I am. I also have no problem with those that are bi and feel everyone should do what turns them on. I do have a problem and get offended, when someone states or implies (whether someone meant to or not) that because I am not willing to entertain the thought of MM play that I have some sort of problem. I don't have a problem, it is just not something I am into. I am sure I wouldn't like running for political office, and I don't need to try it to know that either. This is why I respond to these threads, because I don't think that not liking something implies that we have a problem with it.

 

I'm sorry if this seems hostile, but I think we are being cast in a poor light and getting a bad rep on this site. This, I don't want.

I agree with Spoo, I don't see you as being cast in a poor light at all.

[lil oral annie 17]

We defend ourselves because Spoo said that the male should ask himself why he put so much pressure on his lover that he feel obligated to her. We don't think we're being too sensitive when we say that this statement does cast us in a bad light. Honestly, we can't think of any sexual preference (assuming its legal) we could admit to that is more damaging to our reputation than that of a couple who force each other into sexual situations. We didn't feel it necessary to defend the words "indulge" and "obligated" until they were singled out. spoo said in an earlier post that it may be a matter of semantics; let's leave it at that. We don't feel either term is negative. That's us. How we use the terms, they seem minor. To paraphrase saussure, the words we use signify our ideas may have different meanings to you and your social surroundings.

 

Now, we feel this is getting stale. We are a little tired of the back and forth between the Spoo's and us. I'm sure the rest feel this way. Oddly, we don't think we differ all that much in how we do things; we just have a different vernacular. Neither of us would tolerate a "you will because I did."

 

Our final point: we listen to each other's fantasies, and if we can, we try to make them come true. We don't quite understand why this seems wrong to so many, especially considering the lifestyle we've chosen. If we do have an mmf and the experience is negative or awful for the male in our relationship, we won't do it again.

[Spoomonkey 421]

our final point: we listen to each other's fantasies, and if we can, we try to make them come true. we don't quite understand why this seems wrong to so many, especially considering the lifestyle we've chosen. if we do have an mmf and the experience is negative or awful for the male in our relationship, we won't do it again.

 

There is nothing wrong with this - if it works for you. The difference I see is that if it is not OUR fantasy, we don't do it. I don't have to have sex with a guy to know I would find the experience negative and awful.

[couplewanting50 65]

There is nothing wrong with this - if it works for you. The difference I see is that if it is not OUR fantasy, we don't do it. I don't have to have sex with a guy to know I would find the experience negative and awful.

 

You are not clear on this in your string of posts as to whether you want to have sex with a guy. Try to be more emphatic, perhaps repeat yourself quite a bit, be pointless and redundant in your assertions, then it could possibly be more clear.

 

It reminds me of someone in a swing club in this state. He says loudly that he is straight and always will be. This is said with considerable fanfare and dramatic emphasis in front of groups of people. That is at the same time that it is entirely false, as per members of the club who have seen first hand.

 

You spend more effort in posturing, like the other indignant protester on this thread, than you do in engaging meaningfully with the thread. If you are, as you say, not interested, then it would not seem to be a thread in which you should participate.

 

Your post count suggests that you live here. Perhaps you might take a break for a few months and allow these folks to have the discussion they choose. The subject of the thread was not, Does Spoomonkey want to have sex with another man? ....and yet you, and certain others, rush madly to the forefront to indicate that you WILL NEVER DO THAT.

 

I wonder just how many more times in thread you will state that you are straight and always will be....

[Spoomonkey 421]

The subject of the thread was not, Does Spoomonkey want to have sex with another man?

 

No - the subject of the thread was the attempt at an apples to apples comparison of MM and FF activity. I responded - was responded to - and responded again - the discussion (since you seem lacking in the ability to read the context of the thread) evolved into "should one partner engage in acts they are uncomfortable with simply because the other partner wants them to."

 

The answer to this was "no." And that was a point that seemed nearly impossible to drive home.

[HappyPeople 17]

We're both bi and like things that way.

 

We never expect anyone else to do more than they want to nor do we hope to convert anyone. We'll play straight, half bi, fully bi - whatever. It's all sex to us.

 

There's no bi agenda but we would appreciate a decent parade.

[Twist & Venus 21]

That is what Venus and i think as well. Only do what makes you happy and don't try to change people into what they are not.

[Guest ForwardWife]

To the question, my husband is open to the idea now. He says it would depend on a lot of factors, the biggest being whether he was comfortable with said male.

 

On my end of that equation, I think it would be extremely hot. Then to share said dick with him would be even hotter.

[Transld 17]

I am in agreement 100% and so is the better half, after all she is the one that started it LOL