Our Swinging Preferences, do we have A Shallow Mindset?

[2jersey 16]

For us, each of the statements listed below is TRUE.

 

Questions:

Do we have anything in common?

Would you consider us to be shallow minded?

Is our mindset disturbing?

 

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

[DGrey 28]

1. True

2. True

3. First half true...we enjoy playing on first date but the second half is false. We'd meet a couple for second date if we didn't play on a first date/meeting. Case in point the party we attended last week. We didn't get to play with certain people but that doesn't mean we wouldn't meet them again.

4. False, we enjoy forming friendships with people but it's not a requirement. We enjoy repeat play as well.

[robel12550 31]

With regard to statement #2, according to psychologists (to the best of my recollection), you're preception is off by about 19 minutes and 40 seconds since people usually have sized up another person within roughly 17 to 20 seconds.

 

Correct me if I've misread, but it sounds like you're a one more chance black widow spider in that you basically only meet up with people with the idea that you won't be playing/seeing them again after the second date. Is that because you don't like them anymore or you're after the variety of the lifestyle?

 

As far as "shallow" goes, I wouldn't get into that. But basically as long as you're both in agreement with this philosophy and your perspective play partners are aware of it also, then what the fuck? Truth be told, if everyone really analyzed themselves, they're probably all "shallow" with regard to making certain judgements or restrictions with regard to who they do or don't engage with. If you're coming to the board to obtain verification of your modus operandi then most likely the rest of the posts will be a mix of "yes" and "no" depending upon where other swingers perceive themselves. One of the more attractive aspects of the lifestyle is that there's a variety of people who believe in different ways of going about it.

 

To each his/her/their own.

[2jersey 16]

With regard to statement #2, according to psychologists (to the best of my recollection), you're preception is off by about 19 minutes and 40 seconds since people usually have sized up another person within roughly 17 to 20 seconds.

 

That is a very interesting statistic. This is one reason why we prefer to meet for drinks (and maybe appetizers) rather than dinner. We'll stick around for a couple/few drinks if the conversation is interesting, but we don't want to get stuck sitting around a dinner table with strangers to whom we are not physically attracted.

 

Correct me if I've misread, but it sounds like you're a one more chance black widow spider in that you basically only meet up with people with the idea that you won't be playing/seeing them again after the second date. Is that because you don't like them anymore or you're after the variety of the lifestyle?

 

Variety is certainly a big part of why the lifestyle is attractive for us.

 

One of our favorite couples has relocated to another part of the country (at least that is what they have told us - we would play with them again if they still lived locally. There is another couple he wants to play with a third time, but she says "no" - and 'no' always trumps 'yes'. We are relative newbies and imagine that this aspect of our experience will have changed if we are still in the lifestyle a couple of years from now.

 

As far as "shallow" goes, I wouldn't get into that. But basically as long as you're both in agreement with this philosophy and your perspective play partners are aware of it also, then what the fuck? Truth be told, if everyone really analyzed themselves, they're probably all "shallow" with regard to making certain judgements or restrictions with regard to who they do or don't engage with.

 

We think we are being shallow, in a sense, but this is what makes us happy, for now - and nobody is getting hurt. We don't feel the need to prepare our play partners with this information.

 

If you're coming to the board to obtain verification of your modus operandi then most likely the rest of the posts will be a mix of "yes" and "no" depending upon where other swingers perceive themselves. One of the more attractive aspects of the lifestyle is that there's a variety of people who believe in different ways of going about it

.

 

We assume you mean 'validation' rather than "verification"? (We haven't played with enough board members for them to provide "verification" of our approach ) Actually, our sole purpose for starting this thread is to gain knowledge on a topic which interests us. You have helped...

 

We actually believe that navigating through the lifestyle would be easier if everyone was on a similar wavelength. But, we certainly don't expect this to be the case.

 

To each his/her/their own.

[Chicup 42]

Questions:

Do we have anything in common? yes

Would you consider us to be shallow minded? yes

Is our mindset disturbing? no

 

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction. - Ditto

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face. - Ditto

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date. -Good things comes to those who wait.

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.- I think our swinger 'average' is twice per couple but we do not find that to be satisfying

 

We have been swinging 'with friends' for a number of years but only played 'in the lifestyle' for the last year. By lifestyle I'm talking about the clubs, slut wear, 'hey wanna fuck', type of lifestyle. We have vasillating back and forth between being a friends with benifits type of couple or a lifestyle couple and both have merits and short commings. More and more I'm thinking the lifestyle type of swinging isn't going to be our thing. We are meeting a new couple (semi-newbie) this weekend, we KNOW there will be no play. We have done this a number of times in the past, most of the time it doesn't pan out, but when it does it turns into something more long term, where everyone is more comfortable.

[Chicup 42]

As for the 20 min rule.......

 

We might know in the first 10 seconds that we will NOT play with someone, but it takes more time to determine if we will. If it comes out they are into GG only play, or something else we wouldn't be interested in, we won't play and that can take longer than a heartbeat to know for sure.

[Alura 2,775]

Your way is not our way, 2Jersey, but you certainly have the right to approach the lifestyle anyway you please. Your mindset does not disturb us, we'll leave it up to you to decide if you're shallow minded or not, and we would be glad to be your vanilla friends even though your approach to swinging leaves us with little in common.

 

For us, we haven't met enough couples who think as we do that we could afford to toss them aside after the second playdate. A constant influx of new partners also leaves us more vulnerable to STDs than we care to risk.

 

Yes, we've played on the first date and found it thrilling. Hell, we even had sex on our own first date, twenty-six years ago. It's also a good way to help us to decide if we want to continue the friendship.

 

We've enjoyed the long-term friendships we've built through swinging and enjoy the relaxation that comes with not having to be constantly searching for partners. One of the best benefits is being able to pick up the 'phone and say, "Hey, Mr. & Mrs. Playmate, the kids are gone to an unexpected sleepover. Wanna come over and play?"

 

Alura

[discoandvyper 15]

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

True for us as well. Neither of us will take one for the team.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

True for us as well, though there is one instance we were wrong because the female wore a heavy overcoat. It was winter, and we mistook that for her being grossly out of shape

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

Not true in our case. While we have played on a first date, it is not the norm and we certainly havn't held no sex on the first date against any other couple. As a matter of fact, our standard rule is no sex on the first date (which we break fairly often).

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

That's not our case. In our instance, we're more interested in making friendships with people that could possibly lead to sex than just having sex and see ya later. We also usually play several times with the people we do meet and end up playing with.

[MoonLightKiss 28]

For us, each of the statements listed below is TRUE.

 

Questions:

Do we have anything in common?

Would you consider us to be shallow minded?

Is our mindset disturbing?

 

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

 

1. Ditto

2. Again Ditto.

3. Not experienced enough, I don't think, to answer that. We have only played once, and did not play until the second meet. However, I cannot say I would never play on the first date.

4. Again not experienced enough. Planning our second play date with same couple for next week.

 

But I truly do not believe you to be shallow. You know what you want, you know what makes you happy and you are not dishonest, nor misleading about it. That in my book makes you better than most people walking the face of the earth. If some of my "dates" from my single vanilla days would have been this honest, I would probably respect them more than I do LOL.

[WesternSwing 504]

For us, each of the statements listed below is TRUE.

 

Questions:

Do we have anything in common?

For us, I would say we don't have allot in common. Not a bad thing, just different people.

Would you consider us to be shallow minded?

Based on some of your comments regarding physical appearances (such as weight) my first reaction would be "yes". This is partially because you've said some things in the past that on the surface seemed kind of offensive to anyone larger then a size 6. You seem to have an aversion to chubbier people and are very vocal about it. But, everyone swings like they are comfortable doing so. Just because your way of doing it is different then ours just means you are different people. So I take it all with a grain of salt, realizing that not everybody's strike-zone is as wide as mine.

 

Many of your posts also proclaim tolerance of others opinions, but then you quickly berate those that have an opinion that differs from yours.

Is our mindset disturbing?

No, not disturbing, but quaint. I would say your mindset is exactly where it needs to be right now for where you are as you explore swinging. I know you two have just broken into full swap although you've been doing soft swap for some time. To a veteran swinger it might seem odd, but we were all in the same or similar place at one time, also. The kind of comfort level veterns have compred to newbies usually does not happen overnight. I know it didn't for us. Our list of rules was pretty long when we started, now there are only a couple.

 

There is no one way to swing. There are as many ways as there are people. The trick is finding those that you are compatible with.

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

Physical attraction is important to us mainly because it's what makes you want to approach a certain person in the first place. But that said, we have a pretty wide strike-zone, and this is where personality and chemistry come into play. Women that were 10's to me at first have become 5's in the first 10 minutes of getting to know them, and there have been many more 5's that have 10's. Chemistry counts for allot with us.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

Same here. I think this is pretty common whether you are swinging or dating vanilla.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

Playing on the first date is not important to us. We find we really enjoy the social aspects of the Lifestyle and the sex is a bonus. I guess you could say we're not in it just for the sex.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

We prefer to play with couples we click with on an ongoing basis. We've found that for us the sex only gets better as you get to know them better. You find out what they like and dislike. And as you get to like them more, the chemistry gets better.

 

Also, many of our playmates have become friends. Even after the sex has worn off and we've started playing with others, the friendship remains. In fact as I was writing this the husband of one couple called me just to chat. We've found that we develop a "tribe", people that have allot in common with us besides sex. Many of these people I trust more then our vanilla friends.

 

Mr. WS

[2jersey 16]

...Based on some of your comments regarding physical appearances (such as weight) my first reaction would be "yes". This is partially because you've said some things in the past that on the surface seemed kind of offensive to anyone larger then a size 6. You seem to have an aversion to chubbier people and are very vocal about it. But, everyone swings like they are comfortable doing so. Just because your way of doing it is different then ours just means you are different people. So I take it all with a grain of salt, realizing that not everybody's strike-zone is as wide as mine. Many of your posts also proclaim tolerance of others opinions, but then you quickly berate those that have an opinion that differs from yours....

 

We are sorry that you chose to focus so much of your attention on insulting us personally. When we asked the question: "Would you consider us to be shallow minded?", we were not asking for a referendum on all of our Swingers Board posts - only on the statements we made in the initial post of this thread.

[WesternSwing 504]

We are sorry that you chose to focus so much of your attention on insulting us personally. When we asked the question: "Would you consider us to be shallow minded?", we were not asking for a referendum on all of our Swingers Board posts - only on the statements we made in the initial post of this thread.

I don't mean to be insulting, just honest. You asked the question "Would you consider us to be shallow minded?". You opened yourself up for honest answers with that one. I was honest based on my experiences with you on this Board. I didn't know you meant just this post . On several occasions I've felt that rather than just stating your position on a subject you've gone on to informing me and others why our's is wrong because it's not the same as yours.

 

Mr. WS

[2jersey 16]

I don't mean to be insulting, just honest. You asked the question "Would you consider us to be shallow minded?". You opened yourself up for honest answers with that one. I was honest based on my experiences with you on this Board. I didn't know you meant just this post . On several occasions I've felt that rather than just stating your position on a subject you've gone on to informing me and others why our's is wrong because it's not the same as yours.

 

Mr. WS

 

Okay, so you disagree with certain views we have expressed on other threads on this board. Point noted.

[djjwp 129]

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

Agree, If we are not turned on, then we are turned off. Some couples do nothing for us so why do it?

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

We know if we want to persue it in that time but never are that judgemental unless they are just jerks.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

My guess is you have missed a lot of fun.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

180 from us, if they can't be friends, we have no use for them.

[2jersey 16]

For us, we haven't met enough couples who think as we do that we could afford to toss them aside after the second playdate. A constant influx of new partners also leaves us more vulnerable to STDs than we care to risk....

 

We've enjoyed the long-term friendships we've built through swinging and enjoy the relaxation that comes with not having to be constantly searching for partners. One of the best benefits is being able to pick up the 'phone and say, "Hey, Mr. & Mrs. Playmate, the kids are gone to an unexpected sleepover. Wanna come over and play?"

 

Alura

 

This post makes a number of good points.

 

Variety (combined with frequency) does raise exposure to STDs - something we need to better consider.

 

It is, indeed, difficult to find a steady stream of new couples - especially online where things tend to move a bit slower than at clubs/parties.

 

As Alura and others have said - swingers tend to have compatible attitudes about alot of things, and this can form the basis for a good friendship. We're not in the same league as those who require friendship before play - but we could be attracted to a friends with benefits situation if one were to fall in our lap (although we're not screening people with this objective in mind at the current time).

 

There seems to be fairly widespread agreement that attraction is something that can be measured in a relatively brief face-to-face meeting - but as Chiccup suggests, immediate physical attraction is a necessary (but not sufficient) condition for play - personalities need to mesh, as do sexual objectives.

 

Learning alot from reading these posts. Thanks.

[JnCC 24]

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

If I understand you correctly, you want to meet only those people whose company you enjoy and for whom you have a strong physical attraction, and you expect them to hop into bed with you almost immediately. If they don't have sex with you on the first date, they'll never have sex with you, because you're not interested in anybody who doesn't sleep with you on the first date.

 

Even if you DO like each others company, you'll probably dump them after the second date, because you're not looking for "lasting friendships."

 

Oh Lord Jesus! I realize that as a single male, I'm "working a different section of the back 40" than a couple looking for a couple, but if I put words to that effect in my vanilla profile, I'd NEVER get a date!

 

I'm curious as to how well this approach is working for you?

[2jersey 16]

If I understand you correctly, you want to meet only those people whose company you enjoy and for whom you have a strong physical attraction, and you expect them to hop into bed with you almost immediately. If they don't have sex with you on the first date, they'll never have sex with you, because you're not interested in anybody who doesn't sleep with you on the first date.

 

NO! Listen to what we said: "We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date."

 

We have met couples we wanted to play with and others who we didn't want to play with. The couples who we wanted to play with were (aqpparently) attracted to us and decided that we should play on the first date. The couples we didn't want to play with, we never met again (because our minds were made up on the first date). Ergo, "we have never met a couple for a second date unless we played on the first date." This is not a requirement, it is merely our experience.

 

Even if you DO like each others company, you'll probably dump them after the second date, because you're not looking for "lasting friendships."

 

Hypothetical question - only because we haven't wanted to play with anyone a third time (with the two exceptions noted in previous posts). A 'friends with benefits' arrangement might be good - it just isn't one of our current objectives.

 

I'm curious as to how well this approach is working for you?[/

 

We are fortunate to have met some compatible people - and we have gotten what we want out of each of these relationships. We had our first full swap recently, and will definitely see this couple again (possibly alot more). We are meeting a new couple this weekend and they seem to have all of the personal and physical characteristics we admire. We have several others lined up over the runway, it is just a matter of meshing schedules. So far, we have disappointed a few people (never in bed, however ), but we have always been polite - and no one is angry with us. So, all-in-all, I guess you could say we are doing fine.

[Couple_N_Ark 39]

2jersey For us, each of the statements listed below is TRUE.

 

Questions:

Do we have anything in common? NO

Would you consider us to be shallow minded? Probably. We all have certain things that we're looking for. You seem to be looking only for the top 5-10% of people when it comes to looks. If that is the case, then yes.

Is our mindset disturbing? Not at all. This is America

 

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction. False. There must be an attraction both physically and mentally. We've found a wide assortment of people with varying looks, and of varying sizes to be attractive to us.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face. False

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date. False

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners. False

[2jersey 16]

Do we have anything in common? NO

Would you consider us to be shallow minded? Probably. We all have certain things that we're looking for. You seem to be looking only for the top 5-10% of people when it comes to looks. If that is the case, then yes.

Is our mindset disturbing? Not at all. This is America

 

We are completely bewildered by the accusations that we have been consistently offensive towards overweight people, and that we will only consider meeting with people whose appearance ranks in the top 5% to 10%.. Among swingers who are in our age bracket or lower, we do not consider ourselves to be in the top 50% with respect to attractiveness. It would be rather absurd of us to hold out for the top 10% of the swinger universe, and we think this is an entirely unfounded accusation.

 

We quickly waded through our hundreds of our posts, and we could only to come up with a single time in which we specified the desired physical characteristics of our play partners. And, if you read this particular post carefully (shown below), you will note that we don’t discriminate against those overweight women who appear to take pride in their overall personal appearance. We are, however, turned off by people who are ashamed of their bodies, whatever their physical reality. In other posts, we have stated that we are turned off by those who lie about their age or weight – this is a matter of honesty and trust rather than physical beauty. We stand behind all of our prior posts, and offer no excuses.

 

So, for all to read, here is our most blatantly offensive post (as far as we can tell):

 

We may not be politically correct on this issue, but when it comes to physical encounters, we prefer relatively lean bodies, especially on women.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by intuition897

I'm sure we could swing right now if we wanted to; we're still attractive. But our greatest impediment seems to be our discomfort with ourselves. When you don't find yourself sexy, it's a turn-off to others. And vice versa.

 

 

Yes. There are overweight people who we regard as physically attractive. But, if a person dresses and behaves like they want to hide from the world, we are not likely to be physically attracted.

 

In fact, we would apply the same criteria to any person with average body proportions who exhibited a body dysmorphic disorder. If you want the room to be dark, and you want to keep your clothes on - you're probably not sexy in our minds.

 

Why bother defending ourselves? Maybe because certain people read absurd statements made by others and, despite the lack of any supporting evidence, they believe these statements to be valid. We are hoping that most on this board are more discerning of the truth, and will look to our posts (and the context surrounding our posts), rather than jumping on a of slander driven by people with dubious regard for the facts.

[havefuninsun 122]

First of all, I hate to say it, but you kinda set yourself up with "are we shallow minded?" I think if you ask the question like that, you're opening yourself up. SO, don't ask the question if you don't want any negative feedback; unfortunately, it's gonna happen.

 

I think you guys have a right to set whatever boundaries you want to. If others find that offensive in some way, they will choose not to "play" the same way you guys do. It's all in preference.

 

It's funny, though, about physical attractiveness. I will say very very sincerely; there have been very few people in my life that I have EVER run across that I look at and been immediately physically attracted to. For me, being attractive has a lot to do with personality. In fact, I used to work with a man who WAS just plain hot. Then he opened his mouth. Then he became one of the most unattractive people I've ever met. I used to ask the girls in the office "why can't he just come in and look good and keep his mouth shut so not to ruin it?"

 

Then I've met other men that are "normal" looking, and within time (sometimes only 20 minutes ) they become the most attractive people I've ever known.

 

Maybe, though, that's what you mean about being physically attractive too. Maybe you don't mean the immediate opinion when you SEE someone, but after you've met, you get a physical attraction (or not).

 

That's the problem sometimes with the written word. Statements can be misinterpreted.

[JnCC 24]

NO! Listen to what we said: "We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date."

OK...but if I were part of a couple who saw that in a profile, I would interpret that as an "ultimatum." I wouldn't put myself or my partner in a position where we were under that kind of pressure to have sex with anyone, especially on a first date.

 

There are a lot of reasons why people can not or choose not to play on a first date. I suspect that a lot of people would take your statement to mean that playing on the first date is a requirement of yours. If that's not the case, why even mention it?

 

Another thing that got my attention was your insistance that you have a "strong" physical attraction to the other couple. If I saw that in a profile, I'd expect the other person (or couple) to describe exactly what they found attractive in other people, and I would not bother to contact them unless they elicited the same kind of visceral response in me as well.

 

As far as appearance goes, there's nothing wrong with setting the bar as high as you want for other people. But be forewarned...it's lonely at the top. Sometimes, it's better to relax your "standards" a little bit and have some fun. Ugly doesn't rub off. (Stupid does, but it takes a while) One of the first and most important rules I learned in the lifestyle is that as long as there's a connection on some level, it's OK to have sex with people that aren't as pretty as you.

 

Great lovers are not individuals who simply have sex with a lot of different people. Great lovers are people who enjoy bringing pleasure to, and allow themselves to be pleasured by, a variety of people.

 

[Not meeting a third time is a] Hypothetical question - only because we haven't wanted to play with anyone a third time (with the two exceptions noted in previous posts). A 'friends with benefits' arrangement might be good - it just isn't one of our current objectives.

Again, if it's not a requirement, why mention it? Harry Truman once responded to a reporters inquiry by stating, "I don't answer hypothetical questions." That might not be a bad idea here, either.

[2jersey 16]

OK...but if I were part of a couple who saw that in a profile, I would interpret that as an "ultimatum." I wouldn't put myself or my partner in a position where we were under that kind of pressure to have sex with anyone, especially on a first date.

 

This is not in our profile. It was posted to foster a discussion about first date play, the speed with which people formulate views regarding attraction, and friendship objectives.

 

There are a lot of reasons why people can not or choose not to play on a first date. I suspect that a lot of people would take your statement to mean that playing on the first date is a requirement of yours. If that's not the case, why even mention it?[/quote

 

We understand how you may have misconstrued our statement. Apparently, about half of the people who posted here had the same interpretation as you.

 

Another thing that got my attention was your insistance that you have a "strong" physical attraction to the other couple. If I saw that in a profile, I'd expect the other person (or couple) to describe exactly what they found attractive in other people, and I would not bother to contact them unless they elicited the same kind of visceral response in me as well.

 

In our profile, we emphasize that we seek play partners who are sincere, outgoing, fit, and intelligent. Each of these qualities is very important to us. We screen on the personality aspects before we even meet people (by messaging, chatting, and/or phoning). The physical attractiveness screening is done via photos and during the face-to-face meeting. A failing grade in any single category means that we are not likely to play. We also won't play with couples who have dissimilar sexual agendas (such as those who want to emphasize female play).

 

As far as appearance goes, there's nothing wrong with setting the bar as high as you want for other people. But be forewarned...it's lonely at the top. Sometimes, it's better to relax your "standards" a little bit and have some fun. Ugly doesn't rub off. (Stupid does, but it takes a while) One of the first and most important rules I learned in the lifestyle is that as long as there's a connection on some level, it's OK to have sex with people that aren't as pretty as you.

 

As we have said, we consider ourselves to be somewhere in the middle of the pack with respect to appearance. We are seeking people with approximately the same relative appearance. We played with one couple who might be construed as a Barbie and Ken (15 years younger than us), and we played with one couple who was probably below our league in physical appearance - but we enjoyed being with them.

 

We aren't sure how/why this is construed as aiming for the top.

[Couple_N_Ark 39]

You've come to a public forum asking for comments about yourselves (and a pretty "explosive" question at that). You've been on the forum long enough to know that the replies to most questions are pretty diverse.

 

Surely you didn't expect 20 "Cookie Cutter" responses from people telling you that they didn't feel that you were shallow minded.

 

You should also re-read what we said more carefully.....we said....

 

"Would you consider us to be shallow minded?

 

Probably. We all have certain things that we're looking for. You seem to be looking only for the top 5-10% of people when it comes to looks. If that is the case, then yes.

 

Is our mindset disturbing? Not at all. This is America "

 

I've underlined and made a few comments bold to help you see the important points.

 

We said you were PROBABLY shallow minded, and then further clarified our probably by saying that IF you were only looking for the top 5 to 10% then you WERE closed minded.

 

No where did we say you WERE looking for the top 5 to 10%

 

We also clearly stated that we didn't find "whatever it is" you're looking for disturbing. We all have certain things we like and dislike, and certain things we're looking for. You can look for whatever and it would not bother us.

 

We lead a fulfilling life both in the swinging world and non-swinging world. They're are plenty of people looking for the same thing that we're looking for, as well as the same thing you're looking for. That's what makes it possible for all of us to have fun in the lifestyle.

 

Now, re-read below how you interpreted my comments....

 

"We are completely bewildered by the accusations that we have been consistently offensive towards overweight people, and that we will only consider meeting with people whose appearance ranks in the top 5% to 10%.. Among swingers who are in our age bracket or lower, we do not consider ourselves to be in the top 50% with respect to attractiveness. It would be rather absurd of us to hold out for the top 10% of the swinger universe, and we think this is an entirely unfounded accusation."

 

Your interpretation is not even close to what I said.

[good times 991]

I don't know if you are shallow or not. If I took the way you wrote the original post to this thread as the only criteria for deciding if you were or not, I would probably say you might be. Taken in the context of some of the other posts you have made to the board I would be undecided and have to get to know you better before giving an opinion. I think the reason you are getting the response you are here is because of the way you posed your question. The same questions worded slightly differently would probably get a totally different reaction from the other posters.

 

I also wanted to say that I disagree with Westernswings original statement to the effect that if you aren't attracted to heavy people you are shallow. Personal sexual preferences have nothing to do with being shallow or not, in my opinion. If I wouldn't associate or couldn't be friends with someone based on their appearance, then I would say I was a shallow person. We are talking about sex here though, if I don't find someone physically attractive sexually, thats just the way I'm wired, it is my sexual preference. As a male, I can tell you that if the person I am with doesn't turn me on sexually, nothing is going to happen. I agree with others that sexual attraction is comprised of both physical attraction and personality. Neither one can be excluded though, if I don't find someone physical attractive or our personalities don't mesh well, thats just the way it is, it doesn't make me or anybody else shallow.

 

I decided not to actually answer your questions here because it is apparent that I, like the others, am not interpreting them the way that you intended. Based on your original hypothetical questions, I interpreted them pretty much the same way as the others, but by your followup comments it appears that is not how you meant them.

[2jersey 16]

No where did we say you WERE looking for the top 5 to 10%

 

Oh really?

 

You seem to be looking only for the top 5-10% of people when it comes to looks.

 

Now, re-read below how you interpreted my comments....

 

"We are completely bewildered by the accusations that we have been consistently offensive towards overweight people, and that we will only consider meeting with people whose appearance ranks in the top 5% to 10%.. Among swingers who are in our age bracket or lower, we do not consider ourselves to be in the top 50% with respect to attractiveness. It would be rather absurd of us to hold out for the top 10% of the swinger universe, and we think this is an entirely unfounded accusation."

 

Your interpretation is not even close to what I said

 

We took/take exception to your claim (which you now deny) that we "seem to be looking for the top 5% to 10% of people when it comes to looks." This statement is offensive to us because it is blatantly false. And (though no fault of yours) because it came on the heels of a separate (blatantly false) post from a separate poster who accused us of being consistently offensive to overweight people.

 

Our original post did not invite people to make unsubstantiated claims about what we regard as physically attractive, or the relative importance which we place on physical attraction.

 

As we stated in our original post: "We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction."

 

Translation: Mental compatability is a necessary, but not sufficient condition for overall attraction. We need to also have a physical attraction before we will play.

 

We challenge you to support your view that we seem to be only looking for the top 5% to 10% when it comes to looks. What is it about our prior statements which makes it 'seem' this way to you?

[2jersey 16]

I don't know if you are shallow or not. If I took the way you wrote the original post to this thread as the only criteria for deciding if you were or not, I would probably say you might be. Taken in the context of some of the other posts you have made to the board I would be undecided and have to get to know you better before giving an opinion. I think the reason you are getting the response you are here is because of the way you posed your question. The same questions worded slightly differently would probably get a totally different reaction from the other posters.

 

I also wanted to say that I disagree with Westernswings original statement to the effect that if you aren't attracted to heavy people you are shallow. Personal sexual preferences have nothing to do with being shallow or not, in my opinion. If I wouldn't associate or couldn't be friends with someone based on their appearance, then I would say I was a shallow person. We are talking about sex here though, if I don't find someone physically attractive sexually, thats just the way I'm wired, it is my sexual preference. As a male, I can tell you that if the person I am with doesn't turn me on sexually, nothing is going to happen. I agree with others that sexual attraction is comprised of both physical attraction and personality. Neither one can be excluded though, if I don't find someone physical attractive or our personalities don't mesh well, thats just the way it is, it doesn't make me or anybody else shallow.

 

I decided not to actually answer your questions here because it is apparent that I, like the others, am not interpreting them the way that you intended. Based on your original hypothetical questions, I interpreted them pretty much the same way as the others, but by your followup comments it appears that is not how you meant them.

 

We opined on the shallowness question on the first page of this thread when we wrote:

We think we are being shallow, in a sense, but this is what makes us happy, for now - and nobody is getting hurt.

We did not, however, distort the facts when we asserted our shallowness - we merely relied on the statements made in the original post.

 

Thanks, good times, for reading enough of this thread to realize that we did not intend for our post to create a 2jersey hunting season - we were merely attempting to kick start a discussion of first date play, speed of attraction, and friendship objectives in a somewhat interesting and thought provoking manner.

 

If we ever want to be personally evaluated by an angry mob, we will make our objective clear, and we will post it in the Situational Help Forum.

[havefuninsun 122]

Can I ask you something? Why did you guys start this thread?? And, if it wasn't to pick a fight, then why do you care what others think?? Be comfortable with your own decisions; have fun. It's just sex, people, don't make it so complicated.

[2jersey 16]

Can I ask you something? Why did you guys start this thread?? And, if it wasn't to pick a fight, then why do you care what others think?? Be comfortable with your own decisions; have fun. It's just sex, people, don't make it so complicated.

 

Final post on the board. Going to have fun. Don't need this...

[Couple_N_Ark 39]

Reminds me of another couple who made a post and didn't like the replies, so they left the board.....never to be seen again.

[sexyshelby 19]

I was thinking the same thing...

 

Why do people ask provocative questions if they can't take the answers? And really, I don't think the answers to this thread were too bad.

 

~SS

[TNT 1,155]

For us, each of the statements listed below is TRUE.

 

Statements:

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

 

Sometimes attraction takes time to build. We may meet with someone that at first there's not a "strong physical attraction" but upon sitting and talking and getting to know them better, they become more and more attractive.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

 

It's true that you never get a second chance for a first impression...However, we have been proven wrong at times by people that on the very first meeting we felt were stuck on themselves and shallow (regardless of looks), but upon getting to know them better have turned out to be some of the best people you could imagine. We've gotten really good at holding our opinion of people we meet until a time that we feel we can make an accurate decision on if they are going to be fun or not to play with.

 

We don't always "know" on the first meet.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

 

This statement could be interrupted as "unless you play with us on the first meet, there won't be a second meet/chance to play".

 

I believe that after reading your other posts in this thread, what you're saying is that you determine on the first meet whether or not you want to play with someone. If you do, you play. If you don't, you see no reason for a second meet.

 

We've played on the first meet before and there have been times that it's taken more than one, two or more meetings before we've decided to play.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

 

Some we've only played with once, others more and still others that we do have lasting friendships with.

 

Questions:

Do we have anything in common?

 

Very little it seems.

 

Would you consider us to be shallow minded?

 

Doesn't matter if I do or don't. But, if you're only giving people one chance...yeah, I think it's a bit shallow minded.

 

Is our mindset disturbing?

 

No. There are those who are only looking to play once and then move on. There are those who want the lasting friendships. And, there are those that are somewhere in the middle. No one way is the right way.

 

 

Teresa

[Thrax 384]

Why do people ask provocative questions if they can't take the answers? And really, I don't think the answers to this thread were too bad.

Agreed.

 

Unfortunately, though, I'm guessing they became frustrated when some of their posts on this thread (and at least one other) were misintrepreted, at least from my point of view. Also, immediately after they posted the reason for starting the thread...

...we were merely attempting to kick start a discussion of first date play, speed of attraction, and friendship objectives in a somewhat interesting and thought provoking manner.

...they were questioned about why they started the thread.

 

Oh well.

 

Thrax

[Chicup 42]

I don't think the 2j's have as thick as skin as I've developed on this board

 

Some of the posters obviously didn't read the thread before posting, always a bad sign, and the proper response to them is RTFT (figure out what it means if you don't know).

 

I don't know why some take such offense to the 2j's but then again, the wind blowing seems enough to offend people these days.

 

I'm very shallow and picky with who I play with, if I don't find them attractive on ALL levels I don't want to play with them, period. I have to wonder if so many men who seem to have 'performance' issues when it comes to swinging is due to not being attracted to the other person, but going ahead with play because they feel they should do it for whatever reason.

 

I know we don't play with the top 5-10% of swingers in looks (which is a pretty pointless subjective thing anyways, what I find attractive I know is not universal) but my guess is we want to play with less than 5% of all swingers.

 

I know if we had lower 'standards' we would have more fun. We could pick out a couple of the club and go to town every time we went, hell we could pick out two if we timed it right, but we can't change what looks and personalites we are attracted to, so while we are not having as much fun, we are having as much fun as our minds allow us to have.

 

I'm sure if a couple wanted to play with us, and us not them we would be 'shallow', but its not like we owe anyone anything anymore than they owe us.

[LOL_OMG 130]

Without answering each individual statement my opinion is that everyone is "shallow" to some extent. Whether it be physical attributes, intelligence, hair color, salary or whatever....everyone makes an opinion on people and decides what they want to fuck or not fuck.

 

As far as the rest of the items, I don't understand the not wanting to play with people multiple times. The more times we play with a couple, the better we get to know them and the more comfortable we feel. What ensues is more unabated fun, and it's guud

 

Mrs LOL

[Alura 2,775]

Couple N Ark wrote:

 

Reminds me of another couple who made a post and didn't like the replies, so they left the board.....never to be seen again.

 

I think I know who you mean, Couple N Ark, and their leaving was an unfortunate loss to us. Just like 2Jersey, their posts were intelligent, well written and sometimes challenging. We hated to see them go, even though their approach to the lifestyle was not compatible with our own.

 

So long, 2Jersey. The board has been a more interesting place with you than it will be without you. We wish you good luck in finding exactly what you seek. We hope someday you'll allow us to express ourselves in our own way, just as we do you, and drop in from time to time to exchange thoughts. That, not total agreement, is what this board is all about.

 

Mr. Alura

[Sweet_Candy 54]

2jersey we don't think you guys are shallow actually we think you guys are fairly deep. If more people in the LS would express the candor you have the LS wouldn't seem so High school-ish at times. We have very little time to give to the LS due to having kids and a life outside of the LS so we have similar conditions in place as those you described. Does it make us shallow? We don't care either way. We are here for us not others. The LS is not about winning a popularity contest. We too know the other couple that others speak of and they were hounded out of here by close-minded thinking. IOHO

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction. True, why settle for less than you have?

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

True, perhaps it's a gift for those who can decide quickly or it's something that comes with age? If you're still on the fence after 20 minutes what's holding you back decision-wise?

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date. False, sometimes time restraints don't allow for playtime

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners. Maybe, we're not looking for friends but if we become friends that's great if not, then we had had a great experience with the other couple we hope.

 

5) Do we have anything in common? Yes, we both know what we want at this time.

 

6) Would you consider us to be shallow minded? No, who are we to pass judgment on what you want out of the LS?

 

7) Is our mindset disturbing? No, it's your life to do what you deem to be fun . . . good luck in your pursuits.

[The Fuse 1,012]

2jersey, I hope you reconsider leaving the Board and continue posting. I think you are both valued members. You are obviously intelligent and you ask a lot of questions that I haven't seen from others. I've enjoyed reading about your exploits and thank you for your contribution to my "Should we pursue this?" thread, where you, among others, helped me out. You contribute a lot here and I hope you've gotten something out of it too.

 

Yes, maybe people have piled on you a bit here. But you didn't really expect everyone to agree with you, did you? The tagline under your avatar says "Provocative". Well, you provoked some people. What's the worst that can happen? You agree to disagree. Maybe you feel a little slighted, perhaps misinterpreted. You defended yourself. Please, let's move on, still in each other's virtual company.

 

For us, each of the statements listed below is TRUE.

 

 

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

 

Yes, with the caveat that sometimes physical attraction does take a little time to develop. And sometimes it develops to the "yes" point as a result of mental compatibility. I'll go further. Sometimes attitudinal compatibility makes the difference with me, if I'm unsure. I don't want to sleep with dummies, but they don't have to be rocket scientists or even educated.

 

Physical attraction is a funny thing. Sometimes I'm surprised by who makes me wet-- and who doesn't. A welcoming smile, an appreciative glance go a long way with me. Through swinging, I've enjoyed being with men I would never have considered dating-- because of their looks and other reasons.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

 

Yes, usually this is true. Usually it takes less than a minute if it's a definite no. But sometimes people are nervous. My beloved husband, while a good-looking guy with a dynamite smile, often takes more than 20 minutes to show much of his personality.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

 

Whew. This statement is wide open for misinterpretation. It sounds like an ultimatum. "Have never" or "will never"? Now that you are a full-swap couple, will you never meet with someone for a first date when Mrs. 2jersey has her period? What if they are newbies and want a little time to relax? We have played on first dates. But honestly, we looooove anticipation. Plus, at least once we've met with a couple for the first time on a Friday night, knowing we had a big play date the next day with someone else. We didn't play on Friday, partly because we didn't want to go to our Saturday date all tired out. Golden rule.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

 

Well, lasting friendships would be nice if they happened, but really it's too much to ask. We want to play with people we like, but don't expect four-way sexual compatibility plus a lasting friendship. I'm rarely done with a man after only two play sessions, though. facelick Again, is it "have never played" or "don't intend to ever play" more than twice? The title of the thread implies that this is your mindset as well as your experience.

 

Questions:

Do we have anything in common?

Would you consider us to be shallow minded?

Is our mindset disturbing?

 

 

Sure, we have a LOT in common. Shallow-minded? As we have all seen, asking that question is asking for people to .

 

Honestly, you two have sent some conflicting signals. On the one hand, you are smart, decisive and thoughtful. On the other, well, somewhere along the line I too got the impression that you're mainly interested in "your sexy bodies" (from an earlier version of your SLS profile). Of course we're all here, in large part, for sex. But phrasing like that, plus your emphasis on fitness, plus your appearance in your avatar and other pictures...

 

Is your mindset disturbing? Not at all. I might not like being "screened" and I might not like your laser focus. But as someone else wrote, you are saying what you want. That's great.

 

Please come back!

[WesternSwing 504]

Okay, this has gotten out of hand. In no way did I want 2jersey to leave the Board. I simply called them on their own shit. Shit that they have been doing to others on this board.

 

Although they haven't come out and blantantly attacked people that they feel are not as attractive as they see themselves, they go on to make little comments like "we played with one couple who was probably below our league in physical appearance - but we enjoyed being with them." It's comments like that, that create the underlying tone of their posts that seem to have bothered me as well as several others here.

 

When they get called on it, they turn and twist the situation around making-out the very person they attacked into the bad guy for standing-up for themselves. This is very evident in this thread. I feel it's very basic bully tactics. Okay, they didn't attack me at first in this thread, but I feel they did on several other occasions. I ignored those to avoid a flame war. This time they asked the question, and I answered it the way I honestly feel. I should have ignored this one also and just moved-on.

 

I am sorry to all for starting this one. It got way out of hand. I was simply hoping they'd see it and change their tone.

 

I've sent 2jersey a PM appologizing and inviting them back to the Board.

 

Mr. WS

[graygo98 148]

So long, 2Jersey.

 

Mr. Alura

 

This is one of the very rare times that I hope Mr. Alura is wrong. I enjoyed 2j's participation on the board and thought this thread generated a lot of great discussion. And, it really confirmed that there is more than one road leading to Rome...

[Alura 2,775]

Actually, in Hick Okie Dialect, GrayGo, "So Long" means "until we meet again" more than "goodbye." At least in my mind it does.

 

I really don't think they'll be back, though. I very much hope I'm wrong in this case, too. Those of us who've hung out here awhile value intelligent members who write well and have creative ideas for discussion.

 

I hope 2Jersey will see this thread as a learning experience, perhaps not so much about the context as the delivery of the message and the possibility of miscommunication regardless of how hard one tries. But experience tells me the chances are really good that they won't even read this. That's a pity.

 

Western Swing, you stated your opinions. That's what is expected of all of us. If we don't fully express ourselves for fear of alienating someone, we cannot hope to achieve the understandings of each other that this board so richly enhances. You have nothing to apologize for.

 

Mr. Alura

[ANGEDKY(mr) 100]

Like I said in another place and time--

 

As a side note.............This thread has had a positive impact on us as well. At least now I can clearly identify Ken and Barbie (per se) Should we ever run into them in person.

 

Ken ~n~ Barbie (def)

when one or both members of a couple, of above average physique & looks, exude a holier-than-thou, condescending, judgmental, we-are-better-than-you attitude. Often times combined with transparent personality and politically correct facade

 

 

 

angedky(mr)

[LICouple4u 15]

1) We aim to establish mental compatibility with the couples we meet, but we won’t even consider playing unless there is a strong physical attraction.

 

False for me, more true than false for hubby. I am much more attracted to someone's personality than their looks. On the other side, their personality can also turn me off in a heartbeat as we get to know them better.

 

2) We are greatly influenced by first impressions and we usually know if we want to play with a couple within 20 minutes of meeting them face-to-face.

 

False for us. There are couples we thought we would play with based on a first date, then the second time we meet them, something completely turns us off about them. There are other times we're just not sure, can't really describe it in words and it takes a second date to see if we'll play.

 

3) We enjoy playing on the first date, and we have never met with a couple for a second date unless we have played on the first date.

 

False for us. We've played on the first date and we've also waited MONTHS and a number of 'dates' before playing with a couple. Due to time constraints, we prefer to play more quickly, but we're not opposed to waiting if the time isn't right. We don't like courting a couple though.

 

4) We have never played with a couple more than twice, and we aren’t very interested in forming lasting friendships with our play partners.

 

False for us. We have a date for playtime #4 with a couple we met earlier this year coming up. Some couples we've formed friendships with, others are more like 'fuck buddies' to us. Both relationships are fine to us

 

Since 2jersey has left, answering the first set of questions is not necessary.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Western Swing, you stated your opinions. That's what is expected of all of us. If we don't fully express ourselves for fear of alienating someone, we cannot hope to achieve the understandings of each other that this board so richly enhances. You have nothing to apologize for.

 

Mr. Alura

Dito Well put, Mr. Alura. We can't be afraid to get into it a little here on this board. I still hope they come back, of course.

[Chicup 42]

Like I said in another place and time--

 

 

I don't get how 2j's have rubbed anyone so wrong in terms of the 'looks' department. The 2j's are not a ken and barbie couple, they like their couples to be somewhat inshape but so do a lot of us. I've been to enough offsite parties with the true Ken and Barbies out there and these are the people that won't even talk to you in passing unless you fit their standards of beauty.

[2jersey 16]

We have each re-read this thread, and we have mentally processed the criticism which has been directed our way. We actually believe that some of the criticism has a basis in fact. Being provocative and direct is an occupational habit, and we don’t always make the appropriate adjustments when we are engaged in a more social atmosphere. (If you want to witness the full extent of our tenacity, come watch us in a room full of lawyers and business professionals…)

 

We are not going to wage a defensive attack, and we are not going to sulk. Instead, we want to express our personal gratitude to each of you for the valuable role you have played in reshaping many of our thoughts about marriage, sex, and life in general. Special thanks to those who have recently sent us private messages expressing empathy, appreciation and support.

 

For everyone’s benefit (primarily ours) – we’re going to take a break from the board. We don’t know if or when we will return. If we do return, we promise not to initiate threads (we have already garnered more than our fair share of attention) and we will try to be kinder and gentler in our overall approach (mainly by avoiding hot button issues).

 

Peace – let this be the end, Surrender

2jersey

 

P.S. - I won the coin flip, so she agreed to let me say a few words of my own.

Gentlemen, please don’t call my wife “Barbie”. She is definitely not deserving of this insult. Thank you. – Mister

[graygo98 148]

... please initiate threads. You hit on a lot of the really important stuff... way more interesting than "how do I get my wife to ...."

 

You have opinions... strong ones, some times. And sometimes the ones that a lot of people here have but don't get out there on. On a couple of those points ...guilty here.

 

Not that we have any proprietary rights by any means...but please come back ... soon.

 

Judy and Gord

 

PPS Good looking woman... but way too complex and smart to confuse with a plastic doll

[Alura 2,775]

I woke up a little early this morning. After checking to see if Mrs. Alura was still breathing, I was lying in bed, thinking about this thread. It's a good one, an issue we can all learn from.

 

Beginning in my teens and continuing on into my late twenties, I would not consider dating women taller than 5'4". 5'2" was preferable. She also wouldn't attract my attention if she was over 110 pounds. Around 100 was better. Looking good in a bikini was an absolute requirement, long hair a plus and big tits might relax some of the other rules a bit ... but not much.

 

Was I shallow? You bet your sweet ass I was! Concerning a woman's mind, an interest in horses, cars or motorcycles was good. If she was sexually open enough to be on the pill and had sufficient appreciation for the muscled body I'd worked hard to achieve, she was in! An ability to listen was far more important than an ability to express herself.

 

Most of you ladies would not have liked me then. Come to think of it, most of the ladies then didn't like me, either. I don't blame them.

 

It took a tall woman with an extraordinary mind to open up my own mind to all the wonderful women I was passing by. That's a long story.

 

But y'know, even today when I see a petite chick in tight jeans and cowgirl boots with long hair flowing out from under her Stetson I get a smile in my heart and a stir in my jeans.

 

Maybe a leopard really can't change his spots...

 

Mr. Alura

[EvilMJ 65]

Ah I wasn't going to say anything but damn I can never keep my mouth shut!

 

I don't think it is fair to call anyone shallow becuase they have a preference as to what type of person they wish to play with. I am not a perfect 10, hell I feel like a hippy 7 most days, I am not everyone's cup of tea. But hey, you know what, I don't take offense, nor do I hold that against anyone. I understand that everyone has a preference.

 

I would be the first to admit there are certain guys/women that do absolutely nothing for me and I am not going to persue any kind of realtionship/play with them. I kinda ran the opposite of Alura and said I would not waste time on men that are shorter than me, but hey I married a man shorter than me so go figure.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to just play with someone and not be friends with them. It may not work for everyone but that doesn't mean it is wrong. I have lots of friends in the lifestyle...doesn't mean I am gong to be friends with everyone i play with.

 

It is unfortunate 2jersey feels that they have to leave the board. I think everyone is entitled to their opnion and I also feel that all threads are valid, however I think we all need to remember that just becuase someone's opinon differs from yours it is not a personal attack, nor does it warrant one.

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Ah I wasn't going to say anything but damn I can never keep my mouth shut!

 

I don't think it is fair to call anyone shallow becuase they have a preference as to what type of person they wish to play with. I am not a perfect 10, hell I feel like a hippy 7 most days, I am not everyone's cup of tea. But hey, you know what, I don't take offense, nor do I hold that against anyone. I understand that everyone has a preference.

 

I would be the first to admit there are certain guys/women that do absolutely nothing for me and I am not going to persue any kind of realtionship/play with them. I kinda ran the opposite of Alura and said I would not waste time on men that are shorter than me, but hey I married a man shorter than me so go figure.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to just play with someone and not be friends with them. It may not work for everyone but that doesn't mean it is wrong. I have lots of friends in the lifestyle...doesn't mean I am gong to be friends with everyone i play with.

 

It is unfortunate 2jersey feels that they have to leave the board. I think everyone is entitled to their opnion and I also feel that all threads are valid, however I think we all need to remember that just becuase someone's opinon differs from yours it is not a personal attack, nor does it warrant one.

 

Dito EvilMJ! You go girl and that comment about hippy 7's Hmmmmm facelick