Swingers on Oprah

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

curiousagain said:

I know a few who live their religion and not wear it on their sleeve. I should look at them as examples.

 

That is why I am avoiding Oprah's message board.

[jcbicouple 24]

Did anyone else notice that on the 20th we had an increase in registered users? or is that just my imagination? We met a couple at the swing club last weekend. They were very nice and had never been involved in swinging or anything like it, but he saw it on Oprah and so they came to check it out. We talked to them for awhile, and they seemed to have a good time. The club was booming and there were several new couples there that seemed to really enjoy themselves. We only know that one was Oprah induced, but you have to wonder.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Did anyone else notice that on the 20th we had an increase in registered users? or is that just my imagination?

 

Nope, not your imagination, just a good eye.

 

Registration was up on both the 19th and 20th by about 20-30%.

[Tom & Bonnie 99]

Same thing on my club website... I saw an doubling in hits from new users on Friday and Saturday. Then I checked my webstats and found that the majority of keywords used to find my site on search engines said something like "suburban swingers clubs"...

 

We also had a huge number of new hits being referred off of this site.

 

Thanks Julie...... I think!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

You're welcome, as always You reminded me to look at my webstats... we got some good traffic from the keyword "Oprah Swingers"....lol. I wonder if she realizes how much good she is doing for the lifestyle with this show.

[Dr Jekyll 15]

Cool... I'll watch out for it in a couple of months or so when it is run in deep, dark Africa where everything is 6 months behind the States...

[sepacouple 15]

I thought like a lot of others that it would be a lame show so I did not even record it, not that I watch Oprah anyway. Now after hearing everybody talk about it I wish I had recorded it.

[Buck 17]

Quote

The show was kinda useless...nothing but the ordinary aired..unless that makes it extra-ordinary.

 

I guess it depends upon your point of view. It was a very well done show in my opinion and it encouraged much discussion between my wife and I. In that respect it was extremely useful.

[CB_n_Red 16]

JustAskJulie said:

You're welcome, as always You reminded me to look at my webstats... we got some good traffic from the keyword "Oprah Swingers"....lol. I wonder if she realizes how much good she is doing for the lifestyle with this show.

 

An excellent job indeed! Just been searching for the Oprah forum to see what all the fuss is about and those key words found the Swingers Board before they found the Oprah forum!

 

Not sure why I bothered with it though. While there were some good and thoughtful posts, the majority were absolute and utter bollocks! All that stuff about religion and sin. Good grief! I thought it was 2004.... Or has the Inquisition returned while I wasn't looking.

 

I find it so very depressing to read such hidebound, intolerant, bigoted and at times downright vicious posturing, much of it probably originating from a country that is supposed to embody the very opposite, and which, on the basis of promoting mutually tolerant freedoms is normally to be applauded.

 

Sorry, 'scuse my language but a lot of that drivel really got me boiling. I really object to be told how to think! 1984 anybody? Or Brave New World? As for being told that somebody else's god created me and that therefore I should "behave myself".... I don't have the words to express my level of gobsmackedness! I'm sure the guy I was talking to at the club last night would have agreed (a British born Muslim).

 

I'd better get off my soapbox now before I offend somebody.... My apologies to anyone here who I have offended. No apologies to the nutters on the Oprah forum. If they ever show that particular programme here I'll be making a point of not watching it. I don't need the stress!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Actually the show itself was much more tolerant than the posts on her message board. I think you'd be pleasantly surprised if you had a chance to watch it.

[CB_n_Red 16]

Good point, Julie. Thanks for bringing me down to earth a bit. I was somewhat sky-high with anger at some of those posts on that forum. I was tempted to add my own thoughts there, but that would ultimately be futile. There are those that do not wish to see or hear anything that upsets their cosy view of the world. Hmmm....that's verging on the political! I'd better be careful - don't want to get banned here!

 

Not sure how long the lag is before we get the Oprah shows here. Probably not long and they certainly repeat them often enough! And Jerry Springer...

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I had grandiose ideas of posting my own thoughts on Oprah's forums as well, but luckily for them I never got my confirmation email when I registered.

 

On the Oprah Site, you can view a bit from the "After the Show" which will give you a good idea of how the show went. It's a blurb about the basic idea of the show and an interview with the documentarian who did the documentary "The Lifestyle:Swinging in America". It also includes some more discussion with the main couple who was interviewed on the show. (Also includes a short bit from the documentary with -although faces blurred- our own Sheryl of Greg&Sheryl).

[CB_n_Red 16]

Now that was interesting! Thanks for the link. Glad I have broadband here at the workshop otherwise that video might have been a problem!

 

I was particularly impressed that the documentary maker came up with such a positive conclusion. He obviously went into it with a properly open mind and no preconceptions, which is more than can be said of many of the posters on that forum!

 

It puts it in a somewhat different perspective. Maybe I'll watch it when it turns up here after all!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I was really surprised to learn that the guy who made "The Lifestyle" documentary was not a swinger, after having seen the documentary itself, I would have expected that he was.

[intuition897 2,179]

I was particularly impressed that the documentary maker came up with such a positive conclusion. He obviously went into it with a properly open mind and no preconceptions, which is more than can be said of many of the posters on that forum!

CB

 

I watched the clip after viewing a number of the flaming posts on Oprah's board, which I think made me a little hypersensitive to the audience's attitude. You'll notice after Oprah interrupts the videographer to ask, "Are you a swinger?", and he responds that no, he's not, the audience errupts with applause. Then after that, he explains how he kept waiting for the other "shoe to fall", waiting to see the negative, the woman who was coerced, and he didn't see it. He goes on to say that he compares swinging to the 'double-diamond slope' of marriage. It's the most difficult thing you can do and that a marriage must be very strong with excellent communication in order to do it successfully. I can't quite remember exactly, but it added up to his concluding that swingers were absolutely normal and in fact in very healthy relationships. Well sir. You could've heard a pin drop. No applause there. Oprah then asks if that's his honest opinion/conclusion. He says yes and of course everyone laughs at him. The need to be discrete is actually kind of a turn-on in itself (as in "what did you do this weekend?" "oh, nuuuuhthin " ) but man, being a minority like this sucks. Ok, maybe the 'minority' isn't all that small if everyone would just step up and admit it, but we're pinned down by 'the man' nonetheless.

[CB_n_Red 16]

intuition897 said:

The need to be discrete is actually kind of a turn-on in itself (as in "what did you do this weekend?" "oh, nuuuuhthin " ) but man, being a minority like this sucks. Ok, maybe the 'minority' isn't all that small if everyone would just step up and admit it, but we're pinned down by 'the man' nonetheless.

 

It's a lovely idea for a perfect world! The reality, as we know from posts in other threads, is a little more complicated. Even here, where things are generally more tolerant (but by no means perfect!).

[Tom & Bonnie 99]

Well, I felt like it was my swingers duty to trspond to many of those hypocrites quoting scripture and being judgemental. Had some great, well thought out responses that quoted scripture that some of these peole convienently overlooked.

 

(i'm agnostic but very well learned in biblical matters)

 

Was making great progress too, but the Board Nazis over there started deleting my posts and everyones else's it seems like. nNow I can't post anything over there. Strange, as i never violated their posted TOS. I guess their censor just can't get it either!

 

Oh well, the biggest problem is that they all started repeating the same old line.. Adultrey, Sin, STD's, Pregnancy and emotions. All of which had been addressed countless times.

 

I got so worked up over it I had to turn the 'puter off for a couple of days or i would have gone postal for sure! LOL

 

I'm better now, thanks!

[ALilOEverything 901]

Tom & Bonnie said:

 

Was making great progress too, but the Board Nazis over there started deleting my posts and everyone else's it seems like. Now I can't post anything over there. Strange, as i never violated their posted TOS. I guess their censor just can't get it either!

 

This really bothers me a lot. What's the point of a discussion board if you delete comments of the opposite view point? Coming from you I'm sure they were well thought out and not flaming anyone. I don't know what they are afraid of... It's not like the lifestylers are recruiting over there, from what I've read they are just asking for acceptance.

 

I never saw the episode and really wish I had so I could add something to this discussion. Maybe I can catch it the next time around. But I don't even watch that channel to catch the advertisements for it.

[hotmama30 15]

Hey all -

 

First post on the board. This is the male side of the couple (my wife's working).

 

We have had conversations about swinging, although completely abstract in the past. Also, I've been hinting that maybe it shouldn't be so abstract, but not pushing the subject. Swinging just comes up once in a while, ususally brought up by me.

 

However, my wife happened to see the Oprah show with the swinging couples. We had quite the interesting conversation when I got home that evening! Very sexually charged. The show's slant made her feel like swinging wouldn't be so bad, in fact, quite possibly, good, for a relationship.

 

I don't know where it'll go from here, but I feel it's more of a possibility at this point. Joining this board is one of those small steps.

 

If that's not an endorsement of Oprah show and how swinging was portrayed, I don't know what is.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I had wanted to post my responses over on the Oprah board as well, but I never recieved my confirmation/ login info after signing up there so it never happened. I was kinda glad it never happened in reality because I could see myself spending days there responding to just about every post that had been made.

 

I finally got around to watching the "After the Show" thing last night and I really enjoyed that. The best thing about the whole show was when Oprah was talking to the one couple where the wife had cheated and they had made up and they are now providing couples counseling at their church and said that they felt by going through this they could counsel anyone without judgement. Oprah asked them if they felt they could counsel a swinging couple without judgement and the woman was like "i wouldn't judge them but I would feel sorry for them because they are believing a lie". Oprah's response just kicked butt: "but it's not a lie to them, so who are you to say that. It sounds like you are judging them to me". She totally shot this woman down.

[Spoomonkey 421]

JustAskJulie said:

Oprah's response just kicked butt: "but it's not a lie to them, so who are you to say that. It sounds like you are judging them to me". She totally shot this woman down.

 

That was classic - I almost actually liked Oprah after that...

 

 

Almost...

[Tom & Bonnie 99]

JustAskJulie said:

... Oprah asked them if they felt they could counsel a swinging couple without judgement and the woman was like "i wouldn't judge them but I would feel sorry for them because they are believing a lie". Oprah's response just kicked butt: "but it's not a lie to them, so who are you to say that. It sounds like you are judging them to me". She totally shot this woman down.

 

Too bad that all those hypocrites posting their disdain for swingers in Oprah's forum can't show the same understanding!

[Candy&Cane 16]

Hey you all.. God I'm so pleased the episode turned out to be so good!!!

 

Problem is, We live in The Netherlands, and we're not sure when this episode is going to be shown here (I think there's 2 or 3 weeks in between). Julia Roberts has been.. and yesterday it was another celeb episode (cant remember) yesternight it was about adultery on to wifes.. Today about emotionally abused women.. Does it ring a bell?? Did I miss the swingers episode or is it close???

 

Please reply, as we cant find any info about anything other then 'today's' episode

(we're so curious!!)

[Tom & Bonnie 99]

The swingers show was a two parter. The first part, lasting over 30 minutes was about the increasing number of women who cheat on their spouses. The last half of the show was on swingers. It was mostly commercials but maybe spent about 10 minutes on swinging.

 

Hope this helps.

[intuition897 2,179]

I guess they finally aired the swinging episode on 20/20 too. I didn't catch it, but emailed one of the therapists featured on the show. He didn't think swinging was a great idea either, but was at least actually responded to my email and was somewhat more open-minded than Phil. Apparently I had brought up some points he hadn't considered before, and he said he'd reconsider his opinion. I don't know if he was just humoring me or what, but I like the idea that I could change someone's opinion.

[Tom & Bonnie 99]

Actually, I thought the 20/20 show came off as very upbeat for the swingers. Except for one lame comment about how the guy would have had to hate to admit on his deathbed that he wished he could have had more sex if he didn't swing.

 

The part on the swingers showed them as loving, playfull and full of life as compared to the rest of the shows featured guests who were yelling at the kids and basically running themselves ragged.

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

good times said:

Just saw on TV this morning they are reairing the swingers show today on Oprah

 

We saw the 20/20 segment and it was pretty positive. Do you know when they are re-airing Oprah? It kind of scares me after all the hate posts that went up on her website about swingers

 

I wonder why they are re-airing it? There seems to be a lot on this topic lately in the media.

[good times 991]

Do you know when they are reairing Oprah?

 

The ad just said today at 4:00. I won't be home then so won't be able to check for sure, wish I would have set the rcorder.

[TNT 1,155]

Darn it...the local channels are out due to the storms we are having...I'm going to miss it again .

 

 

Teresa

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

Watching the Oprah episode right now, and I actually have to agree, it's a pretty good episode, and it's damning towards swingers to me. I was expecting it to be harsh about swinging.

 

I saw the Dr. Phil show about it, and Oprah's was alot better than the Dr. Phil show.

[Sin D 15]

I thought it was fair. Better than dr. phil's show. Interesting at least.

[forfuncpl 15]

I have watched the show in November and again today. I thought it was a fair portrayal of "the lifestyle". Was just curious, does anyone know how the accountant couple was received after the show? For example, at work, in the community, at church. Also, I wonder if their children were teased. I wonder if they had to do it all over again - would they have come out on Oprah?

[EmpyreanPleasur 18]

Hello Everyone!

 

I just caught up with this thread (we were out of town for a couple of days) and my heart was pounding reading through it!

 

We were on the show. We weren't the couple taped live, but we were the couple interviewed most for the shadow clips. If you want to see who...here is a link to our portion:

 

 

This is how it all came about.

 

We were at a convention in September in Chicago and Oprah sent in a crew to do a pilot and decide if they wanted to run and episode on this. We were the first couple they talked into it and we went up to a room in the hotel only after agreeing to shadow interview - mostly because I was too chicken to risk my kids friends and their parents finding out. My family was of secondary concern, but not as much as protecting my children, otherwise we may have done a full interview.

 

After they did the tape they were very excited about it and not only brought back a full staff the next day for taping more but tried really hard to get us to come down to the studio for a regular interview. They even invited us a few days before the taping, but stood firm.

 

We met the other accountant couple (Jim and I have an accounting company too) that weekend but never heard much about their feedback from friends and family afterward. The only thing we heard was that their kids handled it pretty well.

 

We were disappointed in the combination with the cheating spouses. They felt they didn't have enough material to do an entire show on swingers. I think if they had included the material from "After the Show" they would have had plenty to fill up an hour!

 

I also applaud Oprah on how she handled the show and that woman on after the show when she condemned her for judging others!

 

The people from the show were VERY nice. We never met Oprah in person. The intent was to expose the idea that swingers are part of your community and they are probably your neighbors and are all around - much more so than you know.

 

We realized this was not going to be a breakthrough to enlighten vanilla society about swinging. It isn't going to "convert" anyone and it wasn't going to make everyone say "Oprah doesn't condemn it, so neither should we, it must be OK".

 

What we hope that this and other shows, like 20/20 (who happened to be at the same convention but couldn't get anyone to do a personal interview for them so they never aired anything on their episode) is to slowly integrate the concept of swingers into households and homes so that it becomes a more famliar term and way of life.

 

People are threatened by the things they don't know about and are afraid of them. Many years ago, you would never have heard the term "homosexual" on tv...now you have sitcoms that center around gay characters. The general population is being exposed to them and over time becoming a BIT more accepting. Yes, it has a long way to go, but exposure has done a lot to help in the way of acceptance of the gay community.

 

One swinging becomes a common term, it won't be so mysterious or scary to others and the hope is that someday, they will be more educated through frequent exposure.

 

The Oprah message board...I haven't even visited since this second airing of this episode. I posted on it a lot after the first airing in November and yes, the extreme conservatives were scary...but realize, they have the loudest voices and the most to say. I do not believe they are the majority, just the ones with the biggest mouths and the largest flags to waive. We had many emails from supportive people who said...live and let live.

 

My family wound up seeing it. Not my parents (they are old and never watch Oprah) and no one said anything to them. However, my sister and her whole family saw it. My niece and nephews are in their 30's 40's (close to my age) and they all flipped. Except my niece whom I'm close to and she alreayd knew of my lifestyle.

 

My sister would have disowned me a few years ago...but last year her husband died a horrible, sudden death. Jim and I were at the hospital for 2 days with her family and quite involved in helping them through the following days and months since then.

 

When my nephew started complaining about it, my sister's response was that we were still the same people who were there for them when his father died and this didnt' change a thing! I was really happy to hear that!

 

No one has said a word to us since then. I know they all talk and they even have some sort of thrill guessing and talking about us after family parties, but I think they all see we are still the same people we always were!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

That's so cool - I'm so glad you found us and chimed in here as well. Was it totally obvious to your families that it was you (did they recognize your voices) Or did they just put two and two together with the names and location? I'm glad they were as receptive as they were, and I applaud you for even being willing to do the shadow interview.

[EmpyreanPleasur 18]

Hi Julie!

 

Yes, it was VERY obvious it was us! Our voices were very clear and put that together with the names and outline, it was pretty easy for anyone who knows us to tell.

 

In fact, my EX sister in law (who knows I'm in the lifestyle) had Oprah on but wasn't watching it (she didnt' know we had done this) and was just listening and as soon as she heard my voice she ran to the tv cause she KNEW it was me and then called me on the phone right away!

 

I guess if we wanted to be really SURE of anonymity, we would have insisted on voice overs and darker interview shadows, but I don't think Oprah does stuff that "cheesy" unless you're hiding from a convicted killer you testified against!

 

I'd guess that if there is a next time, we'd do a full interview.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

I'd guess that if there is a next time, we'd do a full interview.

 

Knowing what you know now - regarding how many people identified you, etc. Do you wish you would have just gone ahead and done the full interview? Or do you feel it saved you at least some hassle from others (kids friends parents, etc).

[EmpyreanPleasur 18]

Even the day we did it I wished we would have done a regular interview so yes, I tend to think we should have gone all out...but then part of me keeps saying that fate might have had someone else see it who would have created a scene.

 

Like I said, the real issue is our kids. They don't know we are "swingers" but they all have a pretty good idea that they dance around really facing up to. They know we are open minded, have lots of lifestyle friends as well as our business caters to lifestylers and business owners so they know we have clients that are gay, own clubs, sell "toys" etc.

 

We are very open minded and liberal in our home so aside from the typical "I don't want to think of mom having sex" kid type of attitude, none of them would be very surprised.

 

I'm looking forward to the day when we can be more politically active and open about our lifestyle!

[NakedInSeattle 159]

Here in Seatle, they just played the Oprah show about cheating and swinging again. It was very noticeable to me that, on the first half that was talking about spouses cheating, there was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (and divorce). On the second half dealing with swinging couples, there where smiles and talk of love and caring and solid relationships. Boy, did that say it all or what?

 

The psychologist was made to look absolutely rediculous because she said that swinging always leads to jealousy and difficulty in a relationship and then the couples that followed her totally contradicted that. HOORAY FOR OUR SIDE! Although Oprah asked some inane questions like "how do you decide who you are going to have sex with" and such like that, she ended the program with this. "Marriage is changing, folks." She was not judgemental at all.

[wylie 15]

Well, we haven't sen the show but Mrs.Wylie and I were discussing something similar the other day. We commented on how we have evolved over time as a couple. When we were dating, 20 years ago, we both had pretty large jealousy issues. We tried to figure out where that side of us went...20 years later we are in this lifestyle. And thoroughly enjoying ourselves. Looking back is sometimes embarrassing really. I wonder if the issues of jealousy would be fixed somewhat throughout society by bringing swinging to the mainstream...tell me how many lifesylte couples that you have met that don't LOVE their partner? I have truely seen some wonderful relationships in this scene. Makes us want to become better people really. Now how many "straight" people do you know who cheat, lie, talk horribly about their husband or wife? Who knows...people are funny about sex. And talk show people are even funnier than that. And "straight" people...time to come out of the closet and stop playing so innocent. I'm not buying the "holier than tho" routine. Be honest with yourself. There is something that gets you're motors runnin too. Go Oprah...

[Coupleinidaho 15]

I wonder if the issues of jealousy would be fixed somewhat throughout society by bringing swinging to the mainstream...tell me how many lifesylte couples that you have met that don't LOVE their partner? I have truely seen some wonderful relationships in this scene. Makes us want to become better people really. Now how many "straight" people do you know who cheat, lie, talk horribly about their husband or wife? Who knows...people are funny about sex. And talk show people are even funnier than that. And "straight" people...time to come out of the closet and stop playing so innocent. I'm not buying the "holier than tho" routine. Be honest with yourself. There is something that gets you're motors runnin too. Go Oprah...

Mrs. here, had to comment, even though we haven't (and will not as long as I am the Mr.'s wifey) taken the plunge into the swinging lifestyle...I have seen a number of threads and messages with the general theme of, "People in monogamous relationships shouldn't look down on those that swing, etc." Yet it seems to me, at least in this post, you are doing the reverse, talking down about people in monogamous relationships. I hate to tell you, but not every monogamous couple talks bad about their husband/wife, or cheats or lies. I have been with the Mr. for nearly five years, and I have never talked down about him to my co-workers or girlfriends. Of course, as in any relationship, there will be times that frustration and anger for one reason or another can cause some friction, but again, that goes with any relationship, swingers too. I have never cheated on him or lied to him, and your insinuation is insulting.

 

I think the main difference between swingers and non-swingers is this....swingers feel that sex is something that is fun, something to share with others....while monogamous couples feel that sex is something intimate and a deep expression of love, that they only share between themselves. Nothing wrong with either view. It kinda urks me when people think that I am somehow "un-enlightened" because I am the one that put a stop to the Mr. and I participating in any swinging experience.

 

Different strokes for different folks.

[JandL 15]

Well put Coupleinidaho, I fully agree that monogamy is nothing that should be looked down upon. It takes a lot of work for some people, and most don't make it. So hats off to the couples can make monogamy work! Just the same as I say hats off to the couples that make swinging work! If anyone should be looked down on, it should be the cheaters and liars that can come with any type of relationship.

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

Coupleinidaho said:

I think the main difference between swingers and non-swingers is this....swingers feel that sex is something that is fun, something to share with others....while monogamous couples feel that sex is something intimate and a deep expression of love, that they only share between themselves.

 

We feel sex is something intimate and a deep expression of love that we share between ourselves too. We have sex together in our marriage because we love each other and want to be as close as we can emotionally, intellectually and physically.

 

It is something fun to share with others. It doesn't mean I have an emotional connection or even an intellectual connection with that person .... it just means we wanted to have sex. Our connection during sex with others is always still on each other. We always stay in the same room and touch and make eye contact often during play. So while we do think sex is something fun to share with others we also, like the monogamous couples feel it is an intimate and deep expression (even during play) of our love for each other.

 

 

Coupleinidaho said:

Nothing wrong with either view. It kinda irks me when people think that I am somehow "un-enlightened" because I am the one that put a stop to the Mr. and I participating in any swinging experience.

 

Different strokes for different folks.

 

Well like I said above I don't think the views are as different as you indicated. The difference is we like sex a lot (like monogamous couples) and share it with others. That said I don't think you are "un-enlightened". Swinging is for a certain type of couple and monogamy is too. Neither is wrong it's just got to be what works for you.

[Alura 2,774]

Quote

 

Coupleinidaho wrote:

 

..swingers feel that sex is something that is fun, something to share with others....while monogamous couples feel that sex is something intimate and a deep expression of love, that they only share between themselves.

 

 

We think both are valid definitions. In fact, we do both and don't see the need to deny ourselves either.

[intuition897 2,179]

Sorry you feel that way CoupleinIdaho. I think it's just as you said: different strokes for different folks. If monogamy works for you both as a couple, then more power to you! What I DO have a problem with are people who resort to monogamy as a default and are not proactive enough or courageous enough to make conscious choices about their relationships. There are a LOT of marriages out there like this, with couples that think that if they follow the cookie-cutter instruction manual that came with their Insta-Marriage-in-a-box Kit they'll live happily ever after. "Look, hon, it says right here: for Never-Fail Happily Ever Afters, just add Monogamy!...How come it's not working??" With short-sightedness like this, it's no wonder so many marriages screw up. If a couple makes a conscious choice that monogamy is right for them, that's wonderful! It sounds like you're both on the right road.

[Hottunes 15]

Oprah was aired here in Canada Wed Dec 14. It was NOT the best show of her's that I have seen. It was more to the point that people are involved and asked a few people why they did it. Not as informative as you might imagine. The show did say that swinging was on the rise. Oprah did not lump it in with the cheating segment of the show. That was on the focus of women cheating, not just men. But, all in all, at least people now know that swingers are not some kind of monsters. LOL.

 

 

Keep swinging

[wylie 15]

I suppose I was a bit broad. The point that I'm trying to make is that the people pointing the fingers saying I'm a freak usually have a little freak in them too, maybe a different sort of freak but a freak never the less. How many people are in the closet about something and then turn around and point the finger elsewhere. I just happen to think there are many people out there with a secret and it's easier to point fingers in another direction besides their own. So, Did I MEAN YOU?????? You will have to answer that one on your own. Sorry if I offended anyone indirectly with my previous posting....Just stating an opinion.

[DBL D 120]

JandL said:

Well put Coupleinidaho, I fully agree that monogamy is nothing that should be looked down upon. It takes a lot of work for some people, and most don't make it. So hats off to the couples can make monogamy work! Just the same as I say hats off to the couples that make swinging work! If anyone should be looked down on, it should be the cheaters and liars that can come with any type of relationship.

 

I say extra hats off to those couples who have talked about swinging and one decides that it isn't for them. That's gotta be a hard row to hoe.

 

I must admit that I don't know that much about you Coupleinidaho but I have to respect the fact that you are maybe the only couple like this that comments on the board. Usually it might be the person who wants to swing who posts.

 

I'm going to read your past posts to get a bit of a feel for you.

[SAMnTINA 362]

forfuncpl said:

I have watched the show in November and again today. I thought it was a fair portrayal of "the lifestyle". Was just curious, does anyone know how the accountant couple was received after the show? For example, at work, in the community, at church. Also, I wonder if their children were teased. I wonder if they had to do it all over again - would they have come out on Oprah?

No our children have had no problem and it has been a big non event in our lives. The only change is we no longer worry what if someone finds out. Would we do it over YES. Do we want to do it again NO been there done that.

 

But we have not found any negative effects as far as we know our firm did not loose any clients and though there is the occasional question from our muggle clients and friends the question is generally "What is Oprah like".

 

Now that all our employees know and they know that we don't care who knows we no longer worry about anyone trying to hold us up because they know something. Since our Teenage children know they have moved to the don't ask because mom and dad might tell.

 

Should everyone go public NO we know it will not be ok for everyone but many think it will be worse than it is when it happens. If someone asks we answer and if someone has a problem with it we would have to say so what it works for us and is none of your business.

 

Steve & Terri

[DBL D 120]

...Should everyone go public NO we know it will not be ok for everyone but many think it will be worse than it is when it happens. If someone asks we answer and if someone has a problem with it we would have to say so what it works for us and is none of your business.

 

Steve & Terri

 

That's the way we feel. I wish we could just be free enough to let the chips fall where they may, but we just can't...but...If we continue to act the way we did at the last vanilla party we went to, we won't have to "worry" about it much anymore!

 

Occaisionally, the ? is asked "Who have you told about us?", like it's some big threat to our marriage, or lives in general. We never see or hear from people "in the know" that we should be "worried " about, even relatives. What's the big deal? I wish I knew the answer to that one.

 

Male D

[wiseguy2020 15]

I had to leave the house in a hurry this afternoon's so I could not watch but a few minutes of this afternoon's Oprah show, but what I saw before I left the house just left me shaking my head and wishing that I could have, (gasp!) watched Oprah this afternoon.

 

There was a couple talking about swinging, and there was another woman who called herself a "pastor", I believe it was, and she was also talking about her and her husband going to swing clubs.

 

The reason I was shaking my head was because I was asking myself, "Why would these people talk about swinging on national TV? What would they gain from doing this?

 

I came to the board as soon as I got back home hoping that someone had seen the show and started a thread. I didn't find one, so I'm asking the questions. Did anyone see this show? What did you think? Why do you think they did that?

 

I am not judging their choice, or their motivations, I am merely curious (as is usual I might add).

 

What was up with that?