Sister told me she thinks my parents are into BDSM

[prettylady 221]

My sister scared me for life. I know my parents have sex, I am living proof of that. I am ok with this fact, in fact they are openly affectionate and that is wonderful. The problem is this.

Over the weekend my sister and I were hanging out talking about nothing and everything the way we always do. We are very close.

Anyway we saw a young girl get all pissy because her b/f was being alittle flirty with another girl, not really bad. My sister made an off the cuff remark about how vanilla she was. I looked at her with jaw on ground. She noticed my look as said " Oh my good J, you are a swinger" As it turns out she is into BDSM. Conversation turned interesting for awhile then down right disturbing.

She says she thinks my wonderful, sweet Mommy and Daddy are into BDSM. NOOOOOO I said . But then she mentioned how my Mom calls my Dad Pet. I guess that is a name a D uses for his/her s. She also brought up many other points. The worst part is my kids and I were spending the weekend at their trailer and I had to look at them IN THE EYES.

Again I am good with my parents having sex, I applaud them that after 45 years they still do the "dance O love" but just simple sex, the soft sweet sex of mom's and dad's.

I am a Daddy's girl through and through. The thought that my mom........AHHHH! I have to stop now.

 

Just a rant mostly, but if you want to comment feel free, I'm am sure I am not the only one who figured out that their parents have sex.

 

Your friend,

Prettylady

 

Oh ya have you ever used a term said by swingers and then realized that the other person you were with understood you. What happened there?

[Lumina 16]

Atleast you know your parents likely won't be upset if they discover you swing.

 

I first heard the term vanilla in a non-swinging reference and I've been using it quite a bit since. I may have to watch that.

[intuition897 2,179]

Ew, ew, ew!...Parent-sex!! Gross!

 

I know my parents had sex, but I don't want the details!! Actually, now that I'm an adult, my Mom is a little more liberal with her conversation (good for her...not so good for me) and she said she didn't know what the big deal with sex was anyway, she never understood it. I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting out, "Well, maybe you and Dad are doing it wrong." Then when I realized what I was about to say I was mortified. Mom + Me + conversation = okay. Mom + Me + conversation(about sex) = twilight zone. I mean, the idea that I might've been conceived while they were doing the wild thang doggy-style, or while Dad was wearing a pair of Mom's pantyhose just freaks me the hell out. The rational half of my brain is...okay with it...but the other half is screaming for a straitjacket.

[TwoLittleBirds 23]

I wonder what it is about that? Freaks both of us out, and we sometimes make each other laugh about it. (Several years ago, I had talked to my mom on the phone earlier in the day, and later that day, wifey and I hopped into bed for some lovin'. Just as we started, she said, "How's your mother?")

 

Here's a comforting thought about your parents. Just tell yourself this: Of course they had sex. But after I and my siblings were conceived, they became a mom and dad and stopped having physical contact.

 

I mean, forget sex: Picture your parents making out, French kissing.

[singleagain 26]

Ew, ew, ew!...Parent-sex!! Gross!

 

I know my parents had sex, but I don't want the details!! Actually, now that I'm an adult, my Mom is a little more liberal with her conversation (good for her...not so good for me) and she said she didn't know what the big deal with sex was anyway, she never understood it. I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting out, "Well, maybe you and Dad are doing it wrong." Then when I realized what I was about to say I was mortified. Mom + Me + conversation = okay. Mom + Me + conversation(about sex) = twilight zone. I mean, the idea that I might've been conceived while they were doing the wild thang doggy-style, or while Dad was wearing a pair of Mom's pantyhose just freaks me the hell out. The rational half of my brain is...okay with it...but the other half is screaming for a straitjacket.

 

I grew up in a four room house with the most loving parents you could ever have. From the time I was abour ten years old until I left home at 18 there were many nights I went to sleep after overhearing my mom and dad (they never started until they thought I was asleep) making love. At ten I didn't know why the bed springs were squeeking and they were breathing so hard. By eleven, I had found out enough at school to understand what they were doing. But I always knew it was private and special between them. No, they were never swingers and being as close as we were growing up as a farm family I'm reasonably sure my dad never cheated on my mom or vice-versa. But I learned something from all that. Sex is normal...I'm glad they were discrete but I'm glad they didn't try to completely hide it, either. They taught me more about love in the dark when they thought I was asleep than any "birds and bees" talk could ever have accomplished. For that I will forever be grateful. Dad has been dead since 1979 and Mom, at ninety will not make it much longer. Lately, because I think she misses him so much, she has shared some things (not sexual) that lets me know just home much they did love each other. Be glad that your mom will talk to you. Listen as if it were the last time you would ever be together. Be as honest and open with her as you would be with your husband. And don't worry about the twi-light zone. That might just be where all of us are right now and reality is what we dream and fantasize about.

[prettylady 221]

I am glad to hear you had such a wonderful experince growing up. I am sure if I was in a similar situation I too would feel the same way, my parents were very affectionate in front of us, kisses, hugs, pats on the bum, but sex. NO never did I ever see my parents in that light, as I am sure most people have not. That is why, I think, that most of us shudder at the thought of parent sex.

I wish I could accept the fact that my parents have sex, but they are mom and dad not sexual beings, not to me anyway.

you are a very lucky person to have this wonderful relationship. I hope all is well with your mom, I am sure your father will greet her with the passionate kisses they once shared.

Your friend,

Prettylady

[swing52001 15]

Yikes....talk with my mum about sex? Not unless it was really serious and she wanted me to know something. I think I'd be ok with that. Otherwise, it would be awkward. But, on the other hand....... I hope my parents had awesome sex! I hope they tried it every which-way and then some!

Interesting that the topic might come up 'cause just yesterday I saw the poll about who you wouldn't want to meet. I thought about that when I visited my mother later in the day. It struck me that I probably wouldn't be particularly comfortable with my parents at the same party or my siblings for that matter. My wife on the other hand would want to become invisible. I guess what I'm saying is that each of us would react differently at different times in our lives. As a teenager, lying in bed listening to my parents do the horizontal mambo in the next room, was a little confusing. I almost stopped breathing because I was afraid that they would hear me listening, but I had to listen to satisfy my curiosity and when I realized they were having a good time at it, I was somewhat dismayed to find that I was aroused by it. If I found out today, that they were into BDSM or swinging, I'd be ok with it. After all is said and done, I have the choice of whether I like something or not. But I think it's not my job to judge.

Keep on keepin on and I hope it's enjoyable

[MoonLightKiss 28]

Sex and parents? Oh my...as a teen I had sex, and both mom and dad would sit down with me and try to talk about it. Protection, disease, pregnancy, the usual. I would just sit there nodding my head praying they would shut up so I could run to my room and get over being humiliated.

 

In my younger 20's I started noticing how affectionate my parents were. Kisses hugs pats on the bottom, and I would naturally go EWWWWWWWW...especially when dad would get that look and say "so, mom, whatcha doin later?" I would cringe and think how gross it is. Even though I was a new parent having sex...LOL. My mother finally turned around at me one day and asked me if I would prefer that she and my dad no longer love each other, and not even want to touch each other. Because it only works two ways. Either you love your spouse and you show it, or you don't. It got me to thinking. Here I was, a mother, having sex, and ya know what, I wanted to be like her in 20 years, still in love and still having sex.

 

Now in my late 20's, mom and dad are still affectionate and still make some comments when not in front of my children who are still young...and rather than be grossed out, I look at them with envy and pray my marraige is that wonderful when I am reaching 50.

 

So yeah, my parents have sex. And no, I do not look at them the same way anymore. But I still don't think I could comprehend them swinging LOL...dad still seems laced up too tight for it...although, if I ever found out they did, after getting over the shock, I would probably say "woohoo...my parents are as cool as me LOL"

[intuition897 2,179]

Be glad that your mom will talk to you. Listen as if it were the last time you would ever be together. Be as honest and open with her as you would be with your husband. And don't worry about the twi-light zone. That might just be where all of us are right now and reality is what we dream and fantasize about.

Good advice, SA, and I'll actually do that. My Mom actually has some serious health issues, and I remember once shying away from a deeper heart-to-heart conversation that I could see she wanted to have. I didn't feel it was my place to discuss certain things with her (non-sexual). I really regret that. I hope someday we can try it again.

[driveajeepnaked 26]

My sister and I are both adopted and often wondered about our parents' sex lives.. if they just couldn't physicaly have kids, or if they just never had sex... They were very old-school, and close mouthed, so it wasn't a subject that I could easily broach. They had a close loving relationship for 55 years before Mom died 2 years ago. For a bit, Dad lived with us, and found a need to talk about their lives together, as part of his healing process.

 

He revelled me with stories about their dating, marriage, sex life and love for each other... I learned that Mom dated my uncle before my father, that they had sex before marriage, ("You wouldn't buy the cow without trying the milk, right" said Dad.) That she slapped him for dancing with another woman and he was 'grinding' her a bit and drunk to boot, that Mom could drink Dad under the table, and they humped like bunnies trying to get pregnant - not to mention that Dad had to wear boxer shorts and Mom had to stand on her head immediately after they had sex, to help the little buggers swim upstream with ease...

 

After these talks with Dad, I felt that I saw my mother in such a different light, and wish that she were still around to hear 'her side' of the stories...

 

Hey, old people have sex too - even parents!!

 

V

Mom and Dad's Daughter

[prettylady 221]

You know guys this thread took a completly different turn than I thought it would.

I have to thank you all for your pespective on things. It really is beautiful.

Thanks again

Your friend,

Prettylady

[Chip_n_Muffy 16]

I wouldn't put too much weight on the fact that Dad calls Mom "Pet." That just may be a generational thing, the term co-opted into the BDSM lifestyle in the manner that the term "gay" was co-opted into the homosexual community in the seventies. Language changes by generational use, evolves, and means different things to different people. Now, your sister may have told you other things that you didn't share that cemented the notion for you, but I would not hang my hat on one term.

 

Chip

[turnuptheheat 98]

Ew, ew, ew!...Parent-sex!! Gross!

 

I mean, the idea that I might've been conceived while they were doing the wild thang doggy-style, or while Dad was wearing a pair of Mom's pantyhose just freaks me the hell out. The rational half of my brain is...okay with it...but the other half is screaming for a straitjacket.

 

 

Intuition, This one is simple, and it depends on your birthdate.

Since you are Canadian, if you were conceived during hockey season, then it was surely "doggy".

That way both of them could watch the hockey game.

(sorry, couldn't leave that one alone)

 

I think the whole thread is kinda cool.

Imagine your folks sharing the same depth of relationship that you enjoy!

That is really cool!

[LOL_OMG 130]

Some of the posts here are wonderful indeed I haven't posted anything in a few weeks myself! But this one pulls at my heart strings....

 

Several years ago I was in a miserable marriage and I confided in my Mom that my husband and I never had sex, at one point it was an entire year! Mom and I never talked about sex the whole time I was growing up, and she told me "oh honey. It's so important! Not just for the sexual moments and feeling good, but it's intimacy that makes you two close. You also need sex for your physical health and mental health!" I realized that my parents had something that I didn't...a sex life. I looked at them in a whole new light and yeah, had to look them in the eyes.

 

When my dad was dying of cancer he and my mom used to cuddle on his bed to watch his favorite time of day....dusk (he was at home and hospice would come once/day). One day they both invited me to join them. We layed there and talked and looked at the beautiful green that dusk makes, and dad said "I wish that one day you can find someone who will make you as happy as your mom has made me."

 

It takes sex, it takes humor, it takes having fun and many other things. And aren't you glad that your parents are so into each other that they can do all of those things!

 

Mrs

[singleagain 26]

Good advice, SA, and I'll actually do that. My Mom actually has some serious health issues, and I remember once shying away from a deeper heart-to-heart conversation that I could see she wanted to have. I didn't feel it was my place to discuss certain things with her (non-sexual). I really regret that. I hope someday we can try it again.

 

[prettylady 221]

LOL OMG,

You got me on that one. I never really cry, unless my kids are hurt. But I don't cry easily and that post brought a tears to my eyes. I was beautiful.

I said it before, this is not what I expected but I love it.

My parents are celebrating their 45 anniversary this weekend.

I think I will try and have my first really adult talk with Mom, she is cool and I know she will have a few things to say. About life in general, and I guess life includes sex.

 

Thanks again for the eye opener everyone, I see a new demension to my relationship beginning with my parents.

 

Your friend,

Prettylady

[WesternSwing 504]

I know my parents had an open relationship. I didn't realize this until a couple of years ago, but it all makes sense now. Today I know of several of my parents "friends" that my mom slept with, as well as my dad had girlfriends.

 

Mr. WS

[singleagain 26]

I am glad to hear you had such a wonderful experince growing up. I am sure if I was in a similar situation I too would feel the same way, my parents were very affectionate in front of us, kisses, hugs, pats on the bum, but sex. NO never did I ever see my parents in that light, as I am sure most people have not. That is why, I think, that most of us shudder at the thought of parent sex.

I wish I could accept the fact that my parents have sex, but they are mom and dad not sexual beings, not to me anyway.

you are a very lucky person to have this wonderful relationship. I hope all is well with your mom, I am sure your father will greet her with the passionate kisses they once shared.

Your friend,

Prettylady

 

Thanks for that wonderful sentiment. I'm certain he is waiting for her with open arms and if God allows sex there, they'll probably make the bed springs squeak a lot.

[mickey&minnie 15]

Well, my mom and I have always had a pretty open communication about sex. She told me when I was in my early teens that my grandmother NEVER talked about sex and she did not want me to feel the way she did when she was younger. Mom said since my grandmother never spoke of sex that she(mom) had to learn on her own. Thats how she ended up pregnant at 15.(Along with believing what the boy said about not getting pregnant) So here I am and mom said that she wanted me to be educated and not ashamed to talk about sex. Its been 20 years since that talk and I appreciate it more than she will ever know. We talk about sex all the time (not the intimate details but sex in general) I had to actually explain to her how to masterbate and have a clit orgasm!!!(When I was much older of course). She had no one to tell her what to do and she did not like sex much. After our conversations as I got older, I told her to go get toys and all that. Now I just like to freak her out, I tell her what toys I have and all that. I even told her I went and got those bondage bedsheets, you know the ones where the cuff things velcro to the sheet...the most awesome thing I have ever bought and well worth the money, anyways she laughed so hard that she almost peed in her pants, but I hope she might consider buying them for her and dad. Getting off the point here, We have always talked and thanks to her, I am not ashamed of my sexuality, I was educated...never had a STD, didn't get pregnant til I was ready and I now talk, age appropriatly of course, to my son. I want my son to feel comfortable coming to me with his questions as he gets older. I know my parents have sex, it doesn't really bother me. I wonder if it bothers my DAD that I have sex? He probably thinks I am still a virgin

Minnie

[TheGentleman 15]

Hi Pretty lady

 

It is an interesting phenomenon that I think all offspring deal with...our parents having sex ... especially the kind of sex we are into ...... I think the most important thing is to deal with being comfortable with our own sexual needs... and desires.... Alot of people deal with sex in a negative way ... the positive way is to deal with sex as pleasure that we enjoy... I dealt with this issue years ago and buried it because I realized that the sexual relationship between my mom and dad belonged to them and really did not concern me ... just as my sexual relationships dont concern them .... you have brought up an issue however that is more common than we think but maturity should put it into perspective..