Only attracted to 1/2 of the couple

[kinkyfun 15]

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them? Thank you in advance for any help!

 

I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.

[meandher2go 17]

would depend on how much i didnt like the other half and how much she was into the guy

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I would say we probably wouldn't play. It's commonly referred to as taking one for the team and just about everyone that's been in the lifestyle for a while has a story about being in that situation, and what they learned from it. Quite frankly, if one of us is turned on and the other totally isn't, "sucking it up" and playing anyway sucks. Really, really bad. We have enough friends now that we both enjoy playing with that it doesn't really make sense to play with someone we're only half attracted to. But, your mileage may vary.

 

Pepper

[LOL_OMG 130]

Since this is about both of you and there are alot of couples out there, I would just explain that the chemistry just isn't quite there. Heck I can have a great time at home, why would I want to have a bad time just cause I don't want to be up front.

[kinkyfun 15]

Thank you so much to everyone that has offered their opinions so far.

[tribbles 490]

First....find out if they play separate! Maybe you can have an awesome 3-sum!

 

If not, then you have to decide what works for you. We play and usually have fun anyway. But we don't play separate so, there is always someone close who turns me on!

 

 

S

[LetsParty 17]

Mark here!

 

This happens sooooooo much with us... it's terrible!

 

Luckily the other couple is always attracted to us.

I like 95% of the women

 

My life-partner usually doesn't like the guy.

 

I understand why. I know enough about women to understand my partner.

 

In these cases, we have two solutions:

 

1 - My partner says, "Go ask them to have a threesome"

or

2 - We try to lure the woman over to have a threesome with us.

We were lucky last Saturday! She came over alone!

 

That was fun!

 

...but I won't let my spouse take one for the team. It's not nice. Although damn tempting!!! Happened last weekend. Nothing happened. Maybe I'll go there for a 3some if they invite me... my partner is totally cool with that......

[WesternSwing 504]

Wow, there are allot of dyanamics going on here because there are four people involved.

 

Would they be okay if they split-up and only one of them played?

 

Mrs. WS and I don't have a problem playing alone, but is has to work for the other couple, also. This doesn't always mean that we both get some that night, either.

 

If they are okay with it, and you are to, then go for it. BUT, everyone involved has to be onboard with it.

 

Mr. WS

[EvilMJ 65]

Wow, there are allot of dyanamics going on here because there are four people involved.

 

Would they be okay if they split-up and only one of them played?

 

Mrs. WS and I don't have a problem playing alone, but is has to work for the other couple, also. This doesn't always mean that we both get some that night, either.

 

If they are okay with it, and you are to, then go for it. BUT, everyone involved has to be onboard with it.

 

Mr. WS

Dito

 

There is one couple in particular that I like to fill in as a third from time to time. They are have become good friends of ours but they only play with bi sexual women right now.

[LFM2 1,482]

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them?

 

If I was not interested in one of them, I'd be willing to let Mr. LFM play with them. That would fulfil one of my other fantasies by watching him play with another couple. At least he would be having an awesome threesome and I'd be as excited as hell watching!

 

If one of them wasn't interested in us, it wouldn't hurt our feelings to hear, "Sorry, but we just don't think we click."

 

Either way you go, I'd be honest After all, you'd want the other couple to be honest with you, right?

 

I really hope that this post doesn't make it sound like I'm contradicting myself... I know what I want to say, but putting it on for everyone to see is a different story. I can just hear my english professor all over again!!

[Mr&MrsSwing 16]

TOTALLY agree with pepper and drew. NO taking one for the team, it just ends up...gross from my experience with it. I felt dirty, i remember getting ready for them to come over and not being excited at all, dreading this guy. So I don't recommend.

 

Mrs

[JP51 40]

My kind and loving wife did it once took one for the team...boy did that start a fight... I was so pissed that she did that! Heck we are in this for the fun and if we are both not having fun then it a no go period!

[NCcuriouscpl 15]

We totally agree. In our short experiences, we have had that problem more than once......it's usually hubby doesn't get turned on by the female. I do, and I MAY not get turned on by the male! So....if the guys want to watch all is cool. But, it always turns bad in the long run........

 

Better to try to find a couple that works for both of you!

[Spoomonkey 421]

We wouldn't play. We have actually had this happen a couple of times and most often it is the man who Mrs Spoo just isn't into. The worst though was a couple at a club we were visiting. There was something about me and the woman and we had chemistry so strong there seemed to be sparks flying from across the room...

 

But - the guy really flipped Mrs Spoo's switches to "dry".

 

We had to beg off. They were pretty persistent and we finally just had to tell them the truth - which didn't seem to sit well.

 

Spoomonkey

[Amanda69 24]

We also wouldn't play, my time of taking one for the team is long over. It just didn't work out when that happened...better off finding a couple you both suit. It isn't always easy, first finding 4 people who are all attracted to each other and then a night when all are in the mood....

[BBVixen23 16]

I would not "take one for the team" and I wouldn't expect him to either. In the same regard, I'd be highly irritated if I even suspected my "play partner" was taking one. I'm a BBW and Mr. Vixen is your average Italian hunk. It's amazing that some think because I am heavy, I'll take anyone... Um...I don't think so.

 

There isn't anything wrong with not being attracted to someone. If you're not though, why would you waste not only your time, but theirs?

[C & J Ohio 15]

This is one of the toughest dilemmas for couples who only swing together. When we meet a couple alone for drinks the rule is simple -- we do not go to the next level unless all four agree. No exceptions. The dilemma cums up at on premise swing clubs and conventions. Conversations, dancing, and other interactions, don't necessarily happen by couples only there. Sparks can start to fly with one half of a couple before the other half has much of a chance to get acquainted. That is when taking one for the team sometimes happens with us. It is usually not great for one of us, but the alternative often is not playing at all that night. Better for one partner to have some excitement than neither. Our main event, however, cums afterwards, with each other.

[janaandjames 24]

We have both "been willing" to take one for the team, but have not done so ... one time hubby was very turned on by a lady we met, and i didnt care for her husband at all, but i was willing ... hubby was very pleased with my offer, but declined ...

we were both so turned on by each other;s kindness that we went home and fucked each other silly

[mollyandchris 15]

We've been in that situation before a few times and have usually decided to just go for it no real damage is done.

 

Molly & Chris xx

[nimbis43 15]

We've been in this situation many times. Mrs. Nimbis is VERY selective, which I respect. After all this is supposed to be about fun and fantasy and taking one for the team is neither. We've never taken one for the team and never will. We are currently in this exact situation with a couple. We have a couple that is interested in us where the wife is very attractive and sweet. Her husband however is a short, loud mouth, braggadocios, domineering, obnoxious, overbearing jackass. I'd love to knock his block off, but Mrs. Nimbis and Mr. Jackass' wife have become very good friends. So for us it's strictly plutonic with Mrs. Jackass, unfortunately. What a waste. My advice is don't do it, you'll regret it later.

[RDfnd 180]

Our one experience of that sort was unpleasant enough that we've agreed to avoid it at all cost.

[JnCC 24]

To anybody who thinks it's OK to say to a couple, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind asking your partner to wait outside while we played with just you?" I have just one question...

 

What do you do when you're only attracted to 1/4 of the couple? For example, what if the woman has a great body, but a face that would send a freight train up a dirt road, and you don't like the guy at all?

 

What do you do then?

 

Would you say, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind if he waited outside while we played with just you? And would you mind wearing a paper bag over that (pointing to her face) until we're done, because we don't find that attractive either?"

 

My point is that you "take people as you find them." In swinging, they're usually couples, and until they indicate otherwise, should always be regarded as such. If and when one of them appproaches and says "I find you attractive" you may assume that they're offering to play alone. Until then, you should assume that they're a team, and that any attempt to interact with one absent the other will be met with disapproval.

[TwoLittleBirds 23]

As beginners, we'd probably back off. In fact, when we are in a gray area, and can't decide which way to turn, we are backing off. Until we get more experience, we (or at least, I) feel that's best for now. Both of us do not want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Mr. Little Bird

[2jersey 16]

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them? Thank you in advance for any help!

 

I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.

 

We don't play unless we are each attracted to our opposite sex counterpart. She has to like the male, he has to like the female.

 

It is not necessary that she be attracted to the female (our focus is on heteroesexual play), but she can reject a couple if she really dislikes the female (happened once - the female had a very quirky personality which only he was willing to overlook).

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

To anybody who thinks it's OK to say to a couple, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind asking your partner to wait outside while we played with just you?" I have just one question...

 

What do you do when you're only attracted to 1/4 of the couple? For example, what if the woman has a great body, but a face that would send a freight train up a dirt road, and you don't like the guy at all?

 

What do you do then?

 

Would you say, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind if he waited outside while we played with just you? And would you mind wearing a paper bag over that (pointing to her face) until we're done, because we don't find that attractive either?"

 

My point is that you "take people as you find them." In swinging, they're usually couples, and until they indicate otherwise, should always be regarded as such. If and when one of them appproaches and says "I find you attractive" you may assume that they're offering to play alone. Until then, you should assume that they're a team, and that any attempt to interact with one absent the other will be met with disapproval.

 

 

Kudos to you JnCC - You are MY hero! and a single to boot that TOTALLY gets the "Couples" thing!

 

What I (we) find to be extremely offensive is when a couple or single trys to carve out one of us to play alone (and it's happened to all of us - not just us girls) - it's just down right rude in our book. We are there as a couple/triad - than means we are there to experience this together not seperately or alone but TOGETHER! If the notion strikes to go it alone - that is our choice and should NEVER be an assumption by someone else.

 

What amazes all three of us is the number of couples we have met who are inconsiderate, selfish and rude in that they want what they want without consideration for others feelings. What I mean to say is - we all want what we want - it's is our preferences and that is fine - but what we feel is wrong is when you want what you want and to try to obtain it at all costs to others feelings, etc. for explain couple A goes to a club and meet couple B - they talk - couple A finds they really are only interested in the female of couple B - so in their mind they are justified in asking to play with the female of couple B even to the point of being down right rude to the male of couple B. These people don't even realize how harsh and offensive that is to most people, yet this same couple A would be pissed if anyone dare do this to them.

 

Again JnCC I cannot express my joy in reading your post to this thread.

 

The Other Mrs. Menage

[ShellyM 0]

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them? Thank you in advance for any help!

 

I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.

 

Welcome to our world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol. We agreed that we would not "take one for the team", and so this poses a difficult situation sometimes. This is why 3somes are so popular and easier, its hard to get 4 people who all are attracted.

[WA_Cple 20]

This is often a problem for us. The F half of the couple is very attractive to us both but I (Mrs WA) am not often attracted to the M half of the couple.

 

Since we primarily swing in order to play with that Elusive Bi-Female, then we are just upfront with the couple and let them know that we are primarily interested in the lady but are more then happy for the hubby to join us to watch or engage in foreplay/sex with his wife. I have had many a lovely swinging moment that found me sitting and watching my husband have an incredible 3some with a lovely lady and her umm... ordinary husband

 

On the other hand, we have had a few situations where I (Mrs WA) found both the halfs of the couple extremely sexy and that situation has been equally yummy.

 

I guess we're sort of flexible in our desires but have our limits as well

 

By the way - I haven't posted in ages and have never been a big contributor to the board but it is good to see so many familiar "faces"!

 

 

Mwa!

 

Mrs WA