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Similar Content
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By Littlephish69
Hi ..newbie here..please be gentle! 😉
Husband (straight) and I (bisexual) are about to embark on our first meet. Originally started with us doing ff and men watching, joining in with own partner. After much discussion, it's now progressed to us doing more! We communicate well in our everyday life and with this too..you have to! Both happy with what we have decided, but, I am feeling stuff about certain things and I can't explain these feelings (emotional and physical!) Both happy with ff and mf. His biggest turn on is watching and mine is him watching me. I'm ok with him receiving oral from f (baby steps!) But the thought of him giving feels different and more 'scary'! Only word I can use that is anywhere near! That being said it also all feels a turn on at the same time! I'm so confused..we're talking a lot between us and other couple, and being very open about everything. We are very happy and in love and have an amazing bond already.
We have talked in depth over a few years and ready to take the plunge.
Any advice or explanation about this or how to deal with this, and how process and explain would be gratefully received x 😊
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By 2dreamyangels
To all you males out there is Sex just Sex no matter who its with? Do you take as much time pleasing your wife as you do pleasing other women? Is there as much romance in your bedroom as is in others? I ask this because it seems that in our relationship, sex is just sex anymore. We seem to spend more time pleasing others than we do each other. Sad isn't it? I ask all of you males out there to search your hearts, and tonight take time to please your spouse. Make them feel special. Let them know how much you love them in the bedroom as well as everyday life. Have fun tonight.
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By Lionheart72
I'm just trying to sort out my feelings and maybe writing them down, and having the good folks on the forums offer their $.02, will help.
So, I've got a crush on my friend-with-benefits. I probably should have seen it coming. In fact, I think I did. She's exactly the type of lady I've always crushed on. Smart, strong but with a hint of softness, geeky, long dark hair, great eyes... Yeah, I was doomed from the start. When we first met, I joked about it: "If I was ten years younger, she would have been exactly my type." First she was just a casual acquaintance and sometime babysitter (yes, I'm banging the babysitter, get over it, she's in her 20's). Then we were friends. Now, we're friends with benefits. It's a casual thing... friends and occasional sex... really great sex.
OK, I knew I had a bit of a crush on her right from the start. I'm an idiot but I'm not a total idiot. I said as much. I said it to myself, to my wife, to her wife, to her... we all know it.
The other day I looked at her picture online. I went looking because I hadn't seen her in a week. (A damn week? Really, I should have known better.) It hit me... that feeling, that swooping, heart skipping a beat, light headed, what-the-hell-I-shouldn't-be-feeling-this feeling. Oh crap.
So I said it to her. Those three damn words. She knows. She cares about me too. But she doesn't feel "the way I want her to." (Her words.)
The thing is, fucked as I know just how I want her to feel. I don't even know what these feelings mean to me. What we have is good. Friendship and occasional really great sex. I don't really want more than that... except maybe more often (twice a month instead of once) and she and I both want that. I don't want to run away with her. We both have good relationships with our spouses and other partners. I don't want to mess any of that up. I like what we have. In fact, liking what we have is what got me into this emotional confusion in the first place.
Maybe it's just a question of definitions. What is love beyond friendship and sex? What does it mean that I have this crazy-making neuro-chemical reaction just to seeing her? Aren't I too old for this shit?
Nope, still haven't sorted it out. I'll just have to keep trying. (If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. Welcome to my crazy. )
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By km34
This post in another thread got me thinking... In my mind "friends first" swinging and poly are two completely different things, but other people apparently think of them as one and the same. What does everyone else think?
To expand on my views (the rest of the post is purely my opinion ).. Everyone I have met who wants to be friends first is looking more for a sense of safety by knowing people a bit before having sex. Whether or not this is legit or not is another topic, but it's something that people believe. Also, friends first folks tend to want to be more open about swinging - having that couple or two or five that you swing with AND hang out with gives you the chance to talk about swinging, be yourselves, and generally not have to be in the closet about it. At least every once in a while. Having a friendship makes things a bit more comfortable for some.
Polyamory, on the other hand, is actually looking for romantic love. I love my friends, but that doesn't mean I'm in a poly relationship with all of them. On SLS, I mention that we are looking for friends, but we do not consider anyone we meet on SLS (or other swinging sites) as people with whom we could potentially have a real, whole, romantic relationship.
I guess my general question is - Is this a common thought in people's minds? When you see someone looking for "friends first" does your mind automatically go to poly/relationships/too invested?
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By VanHlebar
So this weekend the crap hit the fan if you will. I have posted much lately as life for MrsVan and I just hasn't been focused on lifestyle things at all. Many may remember a few posts about a couple that we have known for a couple of years that have turned from a standard vanilla couple to playing fun naked games with a bunch of touchy feely stuff as well.
Well about 18mos or so ago, I felt a shift in my emotions towards the other wife, first what I thought may have been just a strong infatuation, then just a deeper connection than typical friends. Well after many months of soul searching and on again off again discussions with MrsVan I have finally come to terms with how I feel. In addition to that it has been made aware to the other couple. She has also confessed feelings for me but I am not sure to what depth.
We are now at the early stages of attempting to figure this all out. MrsVan feels like she is now sharing my love and her best friend, as that is who I have fallen for. While everyone knows deep down that neither of us are going to run off, this is still a lot for us all to deal with. I am struggling to put into terms for MrsVan exactly how I feel, and I am struggling with a way to explain that I do not love her any less. Nor is there anything missing in our relationship. I truly did not seek this out, at first I was confused about my feelings as well. It has happened and now as a group we are attempting to work it out. Any help is welcome. While MrsVan and I may be experienced swingers we are not experienced with poly situations AND our friends have been nothing but a traditional couple for all the years they have been together.
Just looking for some helpful advice....
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