Swinging and Pregnancy Worries

[sinsinbad 15]

Hi, my girlfriend and I are thinking about getting into swinging, but have concerns about her becoming pregnant. Since I had a vascetomy many years ago, she isn't on the pill. Of course, we would use and insist on condoms, but condoms do break or other accidents.

 

I guess the best answer is for her to start taking the pill, but I hate for her to take something she doesn't have to.

 

Any suggestons/ideas?

 

Thanks

[LeggzDiamond 48]

Go in with the understanding of everything you want short of activity that would get her pregnant by the other man. Allow time for the foreplay to get him there and work to get everybody off if that's where it goes. There's lots that can be done and enjoyed.

[intuition897 2,179]

She could try a backup method such as an IUD or a diaphragm with spermicide jelly. The IUD is a longer term thing, and has its risks, but the diaphragm might be a good choice as it can be used as needed. It doesn't harm the body in any way, and although it doesn't provide adequate protection on its own, combined with condoms, it's a good back-up method. I've got my wings clipped, so it's not a concern for me, but if it were, this is the route I would follow.

[twohots4u2 188]

We recommend that you always have the other guy wear a condom for protection against diseases. But, as you say, condoms break. So, we also recommend that she us a contraceptive sponge, film, or foam as a backup against getting pregnant. We know a gal who got pregnant from an MFM even though her hubby and the guy were wearing condoms during penetration. They think that the guy must have cum on his hand, or had precum on his finger and introducted the sperm in her accidentally while they were both kissing and fingering her, before they put on condoms for intercourse.

[sinsinbad 15]

I guess I have been out of touch. What are contraceptive sponges, foams, films, etc? When are they used--before, during, or after?

 

Thanks

[Amanda69 24]

She could try a backup method such as an IUD or a diaphragm with spermicide jelly.

 

I would suggest the jelly or diaphragm. The IUD unfortunately has too many risks associated with it especially if you are planning to have another child.

 

Interestingly, the groups I started off with in the lifestyle were always above 35, everyone had their children already and swinging was something they were doing afterwards. I followed the same pattern.

 

I can't answer if I would have been swinging during my child bearing/planning years. This might make an interesting thread topic.

[2jersey 16]

I'm a big fan of the Mirena IUD. With Mirena, I rarely get my period, and my menstrual bleeding is very light. It can be removed at any time without any effect on fertility. And it has the best effectiveness of any birth control method.

 

https://www.mirena-us.com/

[meandher2go 17]

i am V-safe and wifey is on the pill just in case something were to break during a play date.

[TerryforSex 14]

all sorts of birth control is not always there when it counts.

 

when deciding to swing, just be sure to know there may be a chance she will get pregnant even if birth control is used.

 

sperm does spread from lips to the vaginal area and from finger to the inside of the vagina.

[HappyPeople 17]

Definately get a back up birth control method not because the odds are a condom will fail but so that you can relax and have fun knowing that you are covered. A diaphram and condom combo should work well.

[ShellyM 0]

Yeah, if I were not sterile pregnancy would be a huge concern, since I had 3 children and was very fertile. I don't know what I would do regarding birth control to be honest. Definately the pill. Condoms in my opinion are just too iffy in regards as the only defense against pregnancy, because they can break and come off, and sometimes aren't put on properly because you are kissing his back and hes trying to put it on, and his hands are shaking lol......

 

I would probably do an IUD to be honest. But hey, the pill is pretty darned effective today.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

I would probably do an IUD to be honest. But hey, the pill is pretty darned effective today.

 

Dito to Shelly here. IUD all the way. The pill is effective, but there are still many other drugs (not only antibiotics, I was taking an anticonvulsvant) that lessen its effectiveness that you wouldn't even think of and that the doctors don't know about either unless you do your own research. ( I have had this happen to me) And of course condoms to protect against STD's.

 

Jenn

[looking2swing 17]

sperm does spread from lips to the vaginal area and from finger to the inside of the vagina.

 

I think that people tend to forget this fact! I am only 25 and have had my tubes tied, but I would not engage in intercourse unless I was using birth control. I try to think of condoms as a device to prevent disease, not pregnancy because accidents do happen. For me, I guess that the other birth control is just piece of mind!

[CuriousInOregon 16]

its a risk yes but i am sure it can be delt with as can any accident I say that you just be carful and I agree that using something either Spermicidal cream or something is good for back up

[oddcouple2841 16]

We have decided that I'm going back on birth control. I was on it after I got pregnant and got off of it a year ago or so. We thought about which ones would be easy for me to go on. I would forget to take the pills, so that was out. They took norplant off the market and the patch is still up in the air about the side-effects with the women. We decided that I'm going to go back on depo. I know one of the side effects would be weight gain and no periods, but it's better than accidently getting pregnant.

 

Mrs

[dragonblade 27]

Well, I had been on depo for a little over a year and gained 100 lb in that year. Everyone I've talked to that took the depo gained a LOT of weight on it. Birth control pills for someone my weight aren't very effective. I had the Mirena for 3 years (before hubby and I decided to have another baby) and now that my newest is 6 weeks old I am trying to get another put in. Periods were practically nonexistant, and the level of progesterone that is in your system is so low, there are few if any side effects from it other than light to no periods. That's the best route in my opinion.

[JacobSky 17]

all sorts of birth control is not always there when it counts.

 

when deciding to swing, just be sure to know there may be a chance she will get pregnant even if birth control is used.

 

sperm does spread from lips to the vaginal area and from finger to the inside of the vagina.

 

I agree with TerryforSex, the two of you need to agree together that pregnancy is still a possibility. It would be best for a couple to aknowledge that they will love their partner just the same if pregnancy occurs, or atleast agree to give 100% effort to keeping the mairrage together.

 

Yes, use the ideas that others have recommended. Just be prepared to love your partner through thick and thin.

[wifes_sex_slave 16]

I got fixed a while back becasue I already have 5 children but my wife is somewhat younger than I and is still in her sexual "birth years" prime. She is taking the birth control shot (helps with prgnancy as well as menstral control) we will still make sure that both myself and the other man will be wearing condoms. Even though I am fixed, we want to protect from STD's as well.

There is NO 100% guarantee for anything, just precautions and awareness.

[daisy girl 34]

I am 34...prime pregnancy time, well sort-of. WE don't want children and have been stringent about birth control during the entire time of our relationship.

 

I think there are lots of benefits to the pill for me. Your partner should go to her doctor and review the risks/benefits of each method and make an informed choice.

 

Birth-control is serious...it's not fair to bring a new life into the world that is unwanted! As swingers, we owe it to ourselves and our partners to be responsible.

[curiousswingers 17]

we are in a similar situation, hubby had a vas and I cannot use most birth control, except for the condom, now I have never tried a spermicide with it so I would def like to do that as well to double up as you guys have put it. Quick question though, can you still recieve oral?

[havefuninsun 122]

we are in a similar situation, hubby had a vas and I cannot use most birth control, except for the condom, now I have never tried a spermicide with it so I would def like to do that as well to double up as you guys have put it. Quick question though, can you still recieve oral?

 

 

Can you use an IUD?

 

I had to go off the pill because of high blood pressure. I had an IUD put in last December, and it's the BOMB! I had light spotting the next month when I should have had a period, and have been period free since. Not all women experience this ... my sister hated hers and swore she about bled to death. But one of the positive "side effects" can be no period. If I had known this, I would have done it a LONG time ago. And it's good for 5 years!

 

Another friend can't do the pill, but the Depo shots work well for her.

 

I think the patch is still available too.

 

And there are now different pills out than there was back in the day.

 

What about getting your tubes tied?

 

I can say this. If there were a high chance for me to get pregnant, I don't think I would swing. That is drama I just don't want.

[StacyCat 30]

Just as a word of warning, IUD's and spermicidal stuff can make one more suseptable to STDs.

[2FunPPL 15]

I have to agree with the IUD. I have a Mirena and it is AWESOME. Don't really have a period (means MORE PLAY ) and I don't have to remember to take anything, just check the little strings once a month. Also I tried being on the pill and had horrible side effects. The IUD cost me about $300 but when u add up the cost of what pills would be, plus the cost of pads/tampons...it actually saves me MONEY. One more thing..it stays effective for 5 yrs! OH it's great

[dragonblade 27]

havefuninsun

 

I just wanted to mark a difference between IUDs. The Mirena is wonderful (as stated lol) and does last for 5 years. Most women experience amenorrhea (absence of period) and less cramping. The one your sister (most likely) was talking about is a Copper T, which makes periods a little heavier (again, in most women) and cramping a little worse, but is good for 10 years instead of 5.

 

I've tried both, loved the Mirena and bled horribly with the Copper T (which I had tried first). I generally had bad periods though, so we realized that wasn't for me.

 

Another word of caution make sure if you get a Mirena that you check the strings often in the first few months, because I had a (inexperienced) doctor place one and it came out and viola! I'm pregnant again. However if a doctor places it correctly and you check the strings regularly you shouldn't have this issue. I had one after my first child and it was fine until we got it taken out to get pregnant for the second. Tried to get one after the second and we had our mishap. But it was meant to be I guess

[havefuninsun 122]

havefuninsun

 

I just wanted to mark a difference between IUDs. The Mirena is wonderful (as stated lol) and does last for 5 years. Most women experience amenorrhea (absence of period) and less cramping. The one your sister (most likely) was talking about is a Copper T, which makes periods a little heavier (again, in most women) and cramping a little worse, but is good for 10 years instead of 5.

 

I've tried both, loved the Mirena and bled horribly with the Copper T (which I had tried first). I generally had bad periods though, so we realized that wasn't for me.

 

Another word of caution make sure if you get a Mirena that you check the strings often in the first few months, because I had a (inexperienced) doctor place one and it came out and viola! I'm pregnant again. However if a doctor places it correctly and you check the strings regularly you shouldn't have this issue. I had one after my first child and it was fine until we got it taken out to get pregnant for the second. Tried to get one after the second and we had our mishap. But it was meant to be I guess

 

Yep, it's the Mirena that I have. I didn't even know they still used the copper ones .. she has since had to have a hysterectomy, so she doesn't have to deal with any of these things anymore.

 

About the STD thing: I've read that too. Which is why we are super picky with who we play with and use condoms (I know condoms are not the blocker of all bad things. But they do block SOME bad things. I don't want to get any sort of STD -- I don't care if it's curable or not. And to prevent the other bad things, see the statement about being picky).

 

I'm happy as a lark with the Mirena. Like I said, I would have had this done a LONG time ago if I had known how easy it was.

[couple4fun2821 15]

My wife can't do the pill.... Or rather she can, you just don't want to be around her when she is taking it. We went with an IUD and Plan B.... Plan B is great to have and it is very effective! And well it's a plan b