Telling my wife I want to see her with another man

[mincup 15]

How do you all fee about this, Happy marriage, Im perfectly confident, I would never cheat on her, and I tell her one of my fantasies is to see her wilth another man, I would have to be there of course, she is reluctant to do it which i can respect, However does anyone have any tips to help this fantasy be more confortable for her.

[WesternSwing 504]

Welcome mincup. There is a good passage on this in the FAQ section titled "How do I convince my partner to swing?"

 

Basically, it has to be something that is appealing to both of you. You can't make someone swing. They have to want to swing. There are many issues why some may not want to: jealousy, feeling dirty about having sex with others, worrying about what you'll think of her afterward, worrying about why you would want her to, and many other fears or concerns.

 

The best thing to do is just talk to her about it. Maybe invite her to read this board on her own. I say this because I know virtually nobody likes having somebody looking over their shoulder, and her doing it alone will allow her to read what she needs to, not just what you want her to.

 

That will open-up the line of conversation. Whether or not she ever actually wants to pursue it further is her choice, but at least you will have discussed it fully and will know where each other is coming from.

 

Mr. WS

[mincup 15]

Thank you for the advice. I will read the FAQ, Sorry im sure this topic has been covered a hundred times. I would want her to enjoy it if it wasn't enjoyable for here it would be no fun. We have talked about it quite a bit. She seems almost there but everthing you said is true about how she would feel, most the I would feel dirty part.

 

Thanks for your reply

[mincup 15]

Wow Western as i said I am new to this site and as a read more and more posts my fantasy is like super common kinda suprised. of course this is a swinger site.

[swing52001 15]

It is more common than we can all imagine mincup. I have chatted with many, many men who have the same fantasy, myself included. Sorry there isn't a manual.... I'd be the first subscriber. But like the tortoise and the hare....slow and steady wins the race. If you don't swing, you'll still win 'cause your relationship will be that much stronger because of communication.

Keep on,keepin on.

[mincup 15]

Cool thanks...

[Mike and Jan 20]

As you're finding out, there are a lot of men and women who enjoy watching their spouse with someone elese.

 

I think that, if she's interested in doing it, that once she realizes this and knows it's your fantasy and that you'll really enjoy it too that she'll feel more comfortable giving it serious consideration.

 

I only suggest that you find someone that you're both very comfortable with. (The search can be a long one and will be a real part of the fun.) Then go very, very slowly getting comfortable with each little flirting step.

[mincup 15]

Gotch ya!! I know it will be a slow road but its been fun so far so.... I will be patient...

[mollyandchris 15]

If shes not comflable with it then you really have to sit down and talk about it a lot, the last thing you want is to put yourselves in a situation which you both end up regreting.

 

Molly & Chris xx

[SableOnBlond 15]

Hi there. Well, in my case, five months went by between the time my boyfriend and I first talked about a MFM threesome and when it actually happened. We were talking about our fantasies and when he told me sharing me with another man was one of his, I was excited beyond belief - but it took me awhile to get used to the idea of something like that actually happening. It was my fantasy too, but never in a million years would I have thought it was one of my boyfriend's.

 

So it's good that you've talked about it, and you're right, she is just going to have to go at her own pace. If it is something that she really wants to do then she'll definetly do a lot of thinking about it, and let you know when she's ready to get serious. Good luck

[mincup 15]

Thats funny that you say that, Because when We talk about it she kinda almost has a twinkle in her eye that deep down she would really love to do it, but i think her morals get in the way. As I stated though she has said a few things that make me think she would love to do it. The idea is firmly planted in her head though, so. I know she is trying to get past her morals with it. She has been talking about this one guy latley kinda teasing me a bit... So I think were headed in the right direction. The first guy would definately be one the she would have to kinda have a lust for she said. So I won't get much choice in the matter but thats cool right. I mean she is the one that is going to be with him not me so it;s all good.

[Concupiscence 16]

I’m not really interested in other women either but I can be an opportunist at times – a brown eyed brunet with a rounded ass who love soft petting and ear nibbles….damn… Back to your subject. I think a man who ask his wife to take another man to bed is a man who loves his wife, loves to see her enjoy herself, has implicit faith and trust in her. He wants to see her in ecstasy as well as show her off. If I could tell your wife anything it would be that you obviously love her.

 

Mr. Concupiscent

[OnHArry 23]

I don't want to be a kill joy BUT; when I read your posts it seems like YOU are really into this, and maybe that tends to warp your veiw of her and what she really thinks. Are you sure there is a twinkle in her eye, and are you sure it means what you think it means.

 

You both have to be on the same page, and it is possible she mentions that one guy in particular only because the fantasy seems to appeal to you. I would strongly suggest that you are dead certain she is wanting this as much as you, and you should be prepared to hear in the end NO.

 

The worse possible thing that could happen is she may really like it, and you may find that the fantasy is not what you hoped for, except then the genie is out of the bottle, and there is no putting it back.

 

Go slow talk, talk, talk and talk some more and make damned sure she is really willing and not just humouring you. Also as mentioned above get her to look here, including this thread you started.

 

It could end up ruining your marriage do you want that, or are you sure it would survive.

[Concupiscence 16]

Looking back through all of your previous post I have noticed that you are well meaning in your comments but your posts never seem positive or inspiring. Despite what you may think, I believe it’s only fair that the woman knows how her man feels and there is nothing “warped” in that.

 

Mr. C.