Overcoming our issues about our size

[Meggybear 15]

My husband and I talked about swinging for the first time tonight, and I think he's interested! Obviously, we have a lot to talk about before we'd be ready for our first experience...but it's exciting to think what interesting encounters the future may hold for us.

 

We have several clubs in the area and I think we'd like to try one out. I have never really done the bar scene before and don't know how well big girls are received. I've attached a G-rated pic...I'm not trying to solicit hookups / criticism / compliments...I just don't want to be too disappointed if I couldn't hookup. I guess I just want to have realistic expectations going into this.

[Tia Vampire 167]

Big women need love too. It really does'nt matter what you look like on the outside, it's what your like on the inside. I've met a lot of skinny ugly girls. By that I mean, they're very pretty on the outside, but when they are ready to show their asses, they can be the ugliest people you have ever met. Also I hear that a lot of men these days are into big women. Skin and bone are a thing of the past.

[jedi6942 18]

Meggybear, you have the body type I love to look for. Beautiful smile, too.

 

It's good to know you are around.

[intuition897 2,179]

The first thing I noticed? A great, confident smile, well-dressed, pretty hair, pretty face, and takes pride in her appearance. She also appears friendly and outgoing. Oh, and she's got a little extra junk in the trunk.

 

I've heard it said a few times on here that it was observed that the "Barbies" ended up being the wallflowers and it was the heavier girls who exuded so much more confidence that people were flocking to. It's all about the attitude.

 

Now, will you be rejected? Of course you will. It doesn't matter what you look like, there will always be someone whose type you're NOT. But as long as you have a healthy love of yourself, and you take pride in your appearance and your sexuality, you are definitely someone's type. Being rejected isn't fun, but you just have to learn to shrug and smile and wish them a good evening...and learn to not take it personally. You'll have your preferences, too, and the people that you turn down (and if you are confident and outgoing, people WILL be drawn to you) will have learn to deal with YOUR rejection, too.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

meggybear, welcome to the thoughts of the swinging lifestyle. I just have to say that from your looks, you are definitely charming . You say that your worried about rejection... well we have been rejected, maybe not very much, but it is part of swinging. Whats amazing to us is who we do connect with people just like you, who look at things realistically. That just tipped the scales way in your favor, as far as I'm concerned . For us we don't worry so much about rejection, as we do about connection.

 

As swingers, we are a couple first. It is about each others happiness. The best part about that is, we never reject each other.

[ShellyM 0]

My husband and I talked about swinging for the first time tonight, and I think he's interested! Obviously, we have a lot to talk about before we'd be ready for our first experience...but it's exciting to think what interesting encounters the future may hold for us.

 

We have several clubs in the area and I think we'd like to try one out. I have never really done the bar scene before and don't know how well big girls are received. I've attached a G-rated pic...I'm not trying to solicit hookups / criticism / compliments...I just don't want to be too disappointed if I couldn't hookup. I guess I just want to have realistic expectations going into this.

 

Meggybear

 

Are you kidding me? I looked at your picture girl, and you are beautiful!!! I love your teeth, btw lol....seriously, you are not TOO big at all. I myself, have more cushion for the pushin' lol, and a lot of men tell me that they prefer curvy women. No, you will not have any probs. Yes, there are people who prefer "HWP"....but then, I have my own preferences at the same time. You will be fine girlie.

[LFM2 1,482]

Is this a joke?

 

 

You are GORGEOUS! You have a great smile, you give off an air of confidence, and your face just glows!!

 

Like Intuition said, yes, you will be rejected, but then we all will for one reason or another. Someone might not like you because you don't make enough money, you might be rejected because you live on the wrong part of town. You might be rejected because your boobs are too small or too big. There are a plethora of reasons that people might reject you, but keep that confidence and both of you will be playing in no time!!

[WesternSwing 504]

Intuition is completely correct! You are just plain sexy! Confidence and being outgoing are probably the most important things when it comes to any social situation. Outgoing people are almost always more liked then the wallflowers.

 

Mrs. WS is what I call a "plushie", a little extra "junk in the trunk", and she has never, ever, hurt for finding a playmate, and many that are married to "Barbies". It's all in the attitude.

[LFM2 1,482]

 

I forgot to add that I'm not exactly svelte either. I've got more than a little extra padding.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Hiya Meggybear! Yeah, what everybody else said. You look like a fun person and that's what counts.

 

Welcome

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

Hi Meggybear,

 

You look to be roughly the same size and body type as my wife. We have only spent one evening with members of our local swing club but we were thrilled that everyone was so nice. It was the best night on the town we have had for many years. From my admittedly limited experience I'd say just be confident and friendly and you'll do fine.

 

Have fun!

[Tybee Swing 286]

We have several clubs in the area and I think we'd like to try one out. I have never really done the bar scene before and don't know how well big girls are received.

 

Hi Meggy, you're a beautiful lady. You have a great smile and I'll bet you have a great personality to go with it. We like ladies of all sizes, except (sorry) not the very skinny ones. My husband and I would both approach you.

[Meggybear 15]

Thanks for the responses. I know hubby loves me--but I am so nervous to entering something that is nearly equivalent to the dating scene. It's a bit intimidating for someone who hasn't been on the market (so to speak) for 8 1/2 years!

 

Anyway, I think I'm brave enough to try to get us into a local on-site club this weekend. Should be interesting! Does everyone tend to take it slow, or do some of you just jump right in?

[WesternSwing 504]

We jumped right in, but that's kinda' how Mrs. WS does everything so why not this too! We had a few minor issues here and there after the first couple times, but nothing that was a "show stopper". For us it was the right way to do it. For others it might be better to wade in and see how deep the water is first.

[gaznrachy 15]

Meggybear

 

You look amazing!

 

The things that attract me the most are a lovely smile (like yours!) and a happy confident, bubbly personality. Which just looking, you appear to have.

 

It's not all about body shape, my wife feels intimidated sometimes when she sees the model body walk by on our trips to 'on site' clubs. But a smile and a pretty face are far more important!

 

If you're ever in the UK and want to visit a swingers club I'd be happy to accompany you

[tracy1878 19]

This is something I think all big women worry about. I was nervous about starting in this lifestyle too, but I've found that I don't have enough time to be with every man or woman that approaches me!! Course, I have fun trying!

 

Honey, just go with it, and have lots and lots of fun!

[Guest ibn battuta]

The first thing I noticed? A great, confident smile, well-dressed, pretty hair, pretty face, and takes pride in her appearance. She also appears friendly and outgoing....

Couldn't agree more. Confidence and personality outweigh (excuse the pun) a 24 inch waist any day.

[ShellyM 0]

 

I forgot to add that I'm not exactly svelte either. I've got more than a little extra padding.

 

That's just more cushion for the pushin' baby

[RangerTrail 15]

Meggy,

 

I'm married, and my wife and I haven't even talked about this sort of thing yet though I think she has some interest in it based on hints over the years.

 

I'd be interested to hear how you got your husband to talk about swinging. I want to have the same frank, loving conversation with my wife.

[Amanda69 24]

Meggybear you should never be ashamed of who you are. You look like an attractive, happy lady. Clubs up in Canada have a wide variety of body types, it never ceases to amaze me the variety in shapes of women.

 

Sexuality comes from the core, not from the skin. Have fun and play safe. Both of us think you are quite attractive

[Amanda69 24]

Confidence and personality outweigh (excuse the pun) a 24 inch waist any day.

Shit, I last had one of those when I was 20 years old...ahh well, that is what 24 years of living will do to a gal

[LFM2 1,482]

Both of us think you are quite attractive

 

Mr. LFM thought she was a dish, too!!

[deanncat 25]

Hi. New and researching and shy, glad to see as I read that I'm not the only one that is large (I like to call medium) is nervous about my size and the rejection. We just have a few extra curves and we have fantasy too.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I know this has been said a lot and it may start to sound insincere but really you are beautiful. And I'd like to point out that as strangers on the internet we have no reason to lie to you.

[Meggybear 15]

Thanks everyone for being sincere and sweet and accepting.

 

I think I can answer my own question now since I'm officially a swinger now!!!

 

Hubby and I had first time this weekend. :)

 

The guy didn't run out of the room screaming or anything! In fact he seemed to enjoy himself...(and so did the mrs)

[getreal 15]

Wow!!!!!!!!!!! You are gorgeous!!! I think you would find more people interested in you than you ever thought.....

 

I'd say go for it girl!

 

Good luck

[mssquirtgun 16]

We have several clubs in the area and I think we'd like to try one out. I have never really done the bar scene before and don't know how well big girls are received. I've attached a G-rated pic...I'm not trying to solicit hookups / criticism / compliments...I just don't want to be too disappointed if I couldn't hookup. I guess I just want to have realistic expectations going into this.

 

Speaking from a recent experience let me say this, We dated a couple and the female half was a BBW. Face of an angel, flaming red hair, about 6'2" and 240lb and let me say I had the greatest time of my life.... we laughed played until the wee hours of the morning. The husband was a large gent also but my wife had an equally good time. Size has not a thing to do with the fun factor.. We are hoping to become long time friends with this couple and to be honest I would not trade them for 20 skinny "fit" couples that have a bad attitude. Personality, friendliness, go a long way in this lifestyle!

[boondock baby 15]

I'm fluffy too and I've had a LOT of positive responses...that was a tad conceited wasn't it? Sorry...anyways, most guys that I've talked to would much rather have someone who is a little heavier...you are beautiful and look to have a great personality. You'll not have a problem I think.

[ShellyM 0]

I'm fluffy too and I've had a LOT of positive responses...that was a tad conceited wasn't it? Sorry...anyways, most guys that I've talked to would much rather have someone who is a little heavier...you are beautiful and look to have a great personality. You'll not have a problem I think.

 

Yes, I have found this too. Most men I have talked to love the fact that I have curves.

[dinkydow4us 15]

Congrats. Meggy Your husband is one lucky guy. Best wishes to both of you D. D.

[LFM2 1,482]

Thanks everyone for being sincere and sweet and accepting.

 

I think I can answer my own question now since I'm officially a swinger now!!!

 

Hubby and I had first time this weekend. :)

 

The guy didn't run out of the room screaming or anything! In fact he seemed to enjoy himself...(and so did the mrs)

 

I had read this last night, but had to come back tell you CONGRATS!!! Just how cool is that?

 

Even though you didn't mention it, I'm hoping that you and the Mr. had an equally enjoyable time?!?!

 

I knew nobody would be running, you gorgeous thing!!

[Meggybear 15]

Even though you didn't mention it, I'm hoping that you and the Mr. had an equally enjoyable time?!?!

 

That's right--Mr and I had a fantastic time!! We had our first swap! We're both still smiling about the whole weekend. I was expecting to feel some twinge of jealousy, but figured I could handle it...but was not jealous at all!!

 

Even though I had a great time with the other couple I can't believe how much being with someone else makes you really appreciate your "familiar" partner... Guess I'd been taking him for granted!

[Amanda69 24]

Nothing like swinging to bring a couple closer together when the time is right. Glad everything worked out for you both.

[Discretecpl9740 15]

No one is too big to swing, not too tiny. Swingers have various tastes just as we do in everything, but there is someone who would love to swing with you if you are right in your heart and your mind. The greatest sex organ is the brain. If you stimulate my brain, I'll lick you all over!

[gatorvol64 216]

MeggyBear,

 

Good for you both!!! I find it amazing how close it makes my husband and I. And the sex just the two of us have afterwards?? WOW!!!!

[Meggybear 15]

MeggyBear,

 

Good for you both!!! I find it amazing how close it makes my husband and I. And the sex just the two of us have afterwards?? WOW!!!!

 

After our first experience, I really appreciated certain things about my husband that I had taken for granted. Then us being together again in our old familiar ways was really very hot!

[luxor 15]

from the picture...I think you are a very very good looking and your size is an attraction to me and I believe many others...enjoy

[LFM2 1,482]

That's right--Mr and I had a fantastic time!! We had our first swap! We're both still smiling about the whole weekend. I was expecting to feel some twinge of jealousy, but figured I could handle it...but was not jealous at all!!

Even though I had a great time with the other couple I can't believe how much being with someone else makes you really appreciate your "familiar" partner... Guess I'd been taking him for granted!

 

This is exactly what I'd expected too the first time we played. I was so surprised that there was NO jealousy whatsoever! I was so happy just knowing how much he was enjoying himself.

 

You're right about appreciating your partner. He is definitely the best lover I've ever had and hope to never take him for granted. Our sex life has always been an "11" based on a "1-10" scale. I just absolutely LOVE seeing him happy!

[hubnher 15]

My first post.....

 

Are you out of your mind???? You're gorgeous. All around gorgeous!

 

We hope to experience what you hope to experience when we get un-chicken!

[twobears 16]

I think you are cute and you have nothing to worry about. Women thinking about their body is normal, but learn to be comfortable with your naked body, look at it and get yourself in the right frame of mind that sexy and let yourself feel sexy, for you are. Have Fun !!!

[Kycouple4fun 15]

I realize I am late in the game here, but I wanted to add that you look great IMO, I woudln't change a thing.

[KajiKurai 15]

Meggy -- I saw your post and pic and promptly showed my SO your thread. Followed by your photo and we are in very mutual agreement that we both find you attractive. You would definitely get our attention at a club. You're a beautiful women and have a great smile. Your photo tells us that much anyway. It's all about how you carry yourself. We'd be all over you.

[UCONN Keith 15]

Dear Bear!

 

No, my dear, you are not "Too Big" to swing, find interested lovers, or do anything else you might want to do.....

 

I found your photo to be very classy, innocently sexy, and very inviting! You are a beautiful lady! With that said....

 

There are many, many men/couples/women (me included!) that actually have a preference for people that aren't so slim that they end up looking like an adolescent male 9 let alone a female!)...... Some of us prefer our lovers to be sensual, voluptuous and REAL!

 

There are several sites that cater to people that are bigger than "twiggy"

 

They often refer to there members as BBW (Big Beautiful Women).

 

One, in particular, that comes to mind is Large Friends

 

Although not specifically a "swinger's site", they do have listing options for both single men and women AS WELL AS couples

 

Their cost is minimal - even though I always hated sites that make money from personal ads - oh' well.....

 

The people on this site come in MANY various sizes and shapes! From a 130 lb women that feels she should categorize herself as a BBW to the truly LARGE (350+lb) women. The men are, interestingly enough, of average size - for the most part although they do have several BHM (Big Handsome Men) as well

 

Even on the few occasions that my wife and I visited a club (in the past) and even at Hedonism II Resort in Jamaica; we have seen many, many people that were far from skinny! All seemed to have a great time and we even met with several.

 

So, you should feel confidant that your sexy smile and beaming personality will be a fitting attribute that will accent your already desirable, sexy body!

 

Good luck! Congratulate your husband on finding such a beautiful, charming and lovely wife

 

Great Question!

[fitcouple 25]

Well I'm sure I'll need my flame retardant suit for this one, but here it goes.

 

While we haven't seen your picture, or heard your stats its pretty safe to say they there is always a interested couple for anyone. I'm sure that there are many folks who would be interested in you.

 

We are both very into working out (her fitness/bikini modeling, and him bodybuilding). We seem to like the same thing in others, its just our choice. The most important factor for us is personal respect. By that I mean do you do the best to present yourself in the best light (grooming, dieting, working out?) A good attitude and self respect go along way with us. It's a big turn off to deal with issues when someone is overly self conscious about their bodies. We have found many folks to be attractive to us mentally, just because of the simply having great self confidence and doing the best with what they have. The other side is someone who parks the butt in front of the TV eating chips and then complains about about all the fit people. Its amazing seeing the increase in someones self esteem just by simply losing 5 pounds.

 

Now's here's were the suit is needed. I always get a kick out of how everyone assumes that in shape/attractive couples are all fake and have the personalities of a wet blanket. I guess it's along the same lines as thinking all overweight people are lazy and unclean. It just seems pretty hypocritical way of thinking, especially for a group of people that are supposed to be very open minded.

 

Moral of the story: there's someone for everyone, and there will always be someone who isn't interested in you.

 

BTW, I used to be the fat kid in highschool so I've walked in both sets of shoes.

[sweetsnchris 15]

We too just jumped right in. We did how ever talk about it a lot beforehand but when we started we were balls to the wall having fun!

[kywife4two 17]

There are more men including myself that love "big" women!! The only problem is most are too scared to let their "friends" know it. Pussies. I have always and always will love full figured women, leave the skin and bones for the dogs. By the way you are not too big, look just right!

[crazyfics 16]

Meggybear;

Yes you are a big woman. So what!!! You also are a beautiful woman and that is all that matters. My husband and I are nwebies to and I share the same concern as you. Remember swinging like dating a lot guys you wanted to date and didn't click with. And there we're guys you dated who you didn't sleep with. This make the ones you did all the more special.

 

good luck.

Smooches.

[xxelaboratexx 15]

 

Now's here's were the suit is needed. I always get a kick out of how everyone assumes that in shape/attractive couples are all fake and have the personalities of a wet blanket. I guess it's along the same lines as thinking all overweight people are lazy and unclean. It just seems pretty hypocritical way of thinking, especially for a group of people that are supposed to be very open minded.

 

Moral of the story: there's someone for everyone, and there will always be someone who isn't interested in you.

 

 

Okay, at first reading your post I was prepared for insults galore, thinking in that same semi-cautious way that I usually do. After reading the entire post, I could easily see your point. Everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions, and of course who they are attracted to.

 

Being a big girl myself, I've been through the low self esteem thing before. But once I got into the swinging lifestyle, I've grown MORE confident about myself.

 

After noticing that other people also thought I was sexy, beautiful, and fun, I felt more like I was.

 

Now that I've been into this a while, it's safe for me to reiterate what the others have already said: No one is too big or too small, for everyone out there has their own individual tastes.

 

You will be surprised at what kind of people will approach you. Some good, some bad. But remember-you always have the right to say no.

 

So yes, I may be hypocritical, expecting everyone to love BBW's, but then turning down a BHM in return... but I just so happen to enjoy the scrawny boys. Personal preference.

 

Hope that helps? Oh, and hi guys, this is my first post!