No Condom Rule - Why?

[NewAndNervous 16]

In today's risky world, why would couples elect to abstain from condom use? Especially with new people that they do not know in any way. Does anyone here elect to say "no" to using a condom? If so, why would you take that risk?

[Pepper & Drew 384]

There's plenty of couples that don't use condoms, for a variety of reasons. At times, I've kind of been taken aback at the lack of condoms. A lot of swingers feel that swingers are a demographic with fairly low risks--since most of the time they are married, with children, well educated, more mature, and fairly cautious. That being said, there is only one couple that we've gone bareback with. We trust each other. Yes, it's a risk, but it's a relatively small one (we feel) and one we're willing to take. It's certainly not something we'd do with every couple--hell, probably not with most couples, but in this case, we felt it was right.

 

People weigh their risks verses the benefits, and it's a personal decision.

 

Pepper

[WesternSwing 504]

Well said, Pepper. We have a "no glove, no love" rule ourselves, but we have gone bareback with two couples we've known well and for a long time. This is very much the exception to the rule, though.

 

Mr. WS

[good times 991]

I agree with what pepper said, and can only add that a lot of people do not believe that condoms provide anywhere near the amount of protection from STD's as is commonly believed. In fact, some people look at folks that REQUIRE condom use with the same amount of wonder as you do about people who do not use condoms. If you spend much time at on-premise swing clubs you will observe people engaging in behaviour that is commonly believed to be risky for contracting STD's. They obviously believe that the condom they are using will protect them, even when the research evidence does not support that belief. My feeling is that if you are engaging in an activity with condoms that you wouldn't engage in without, then you are at much higher risk than the person who does not use condoms but is more selective about what types of behaviour he is willing to engage in with others.

 

We have only met one couple that REFUSED to use condoms though. I think most people who will play without condoms are like us, we will use condoms if requested, but we aren't willing to do anything with a condom that we would not do without.

 

In the end what pepper said is right on, it is a personal decision you must make for yourselves.

[nimbis43 15]

We use condoms but by the same token feel condoms give a false sense of security. If we know a couple well enough we will consider going bareback, but they have got to be squeaky clean and responsible people. As already discussed in this thread there are STD's that condoms won't protect against such as herpes. Bottom line is one of the basic rules of the Lifestyle, do what is comfortable to all and make sure everyone knows what to expect upfront.

[skyhigh619 19]

My wife gets a sort of rash when condoms are used. We know the guys who we let cum inside her so we know it is safe.

[MikeandDawn 59]

In today's risky world, why would couples elect to abstain from condom use? Especially with new people that they do not know in any way. Does anyone here elect to say "no" to using a condom? If so, why would you take that risk?

 

We never ask our M partners to use condoms. In fact, we have a "no condom" rule, but I think our situation is a bit different. We basically engage in poly relationships with only males. And we screen and check the prospectives thoroughly to find only virgins, as Dawn gets off on being a virgin's first. And we both really, really enjoy teaching them how to pleasure a woman. We'll just play at first, but when we're sure we've met a guy we want to invite into our relationship, we discovered a little trick to get a free HIV antibody test. We set the deal before him. We have a "mother-in-law" apartment above our garage. We offer to let him move in on these conditions:

 

1. He must get a $50,000 (or more) life insurance policy through our insurance agent. This requires the antibody test. When he brings us the declarations page for the policy, we know he passed. So far, all have.

 

2. For the time he's in a relationship with us, he must remain manogomous to us.

 

3. He must live in our apartment during the relationship. The rent is very reasonable ($200/mo), but he must take care of his own utilities.

 

4. No photography of him with us is allowed. We will allow him to photograph us, though.

 

In exchange, he's free to have sex with Dawn any time she agrees, whether I'm home or not. This helps keep him agreeable to condition #2. Dawn insists on her partners cumming inside her. It gets her off like crazy, and it fires me up, too. When I'm not home, Dawn will usually go up to his apartment to have sex, unless they want to bathe or shower together, then they use our bedroom. But on special occasions, like her birthday, we'll let him spend the night in our bed so we both can give her FULL attention. On his birthday, Dawn stays the whole night with him. On my birthday, I usually get tied to a chair and watch them. facelick When he's spent his load inside her, I get untied and we all three play. For just evening play, we'll use either bed. We'll also occasionally take two or three day trips. Most times, we'll take him with us, and share a hotel room with a king size bed.

[Better Half 15]

We never ask our M partners to use condoms. In fact, we have a "no condom" rule, but I think our situation is a bit different. We basically engage in poly relationships with only males. And we screen and check the prospectives thoroughly to find only virgins, as Dawn gets off on being a virgin's first. And we both really, really enjoy teaching them how to pleasure a woman. We'll just play at first, but when we're sure we've met a guy we want to invite into our relationship, we discovered a little trick to get a free HIV antibody test. We set the deal before him. We have a "mother-in-law" apartment above our garage. We offer to let him move in on these conditions:

 

1. He must get a $50,000 (or more) life insurance policy through our insurance agent. This requires the antibody test. When he brings us the declarations page for the policy, we know he passed. So far, all have.

 

2. For the time he's in a relationship with us, he must remain manogomous to us.

 

3. He must live in our apartment during the relationship. The rent is very reasonable ($200/mo), but he must take care of his own utilities.

 

4. No photography of him with us is allowed. We will allow him to photograph us, though.

 

In exchange, he's free to have sex with Dawn any time she agrees, whether I'm home or not. This helps keep him agreeable to condition #2. Dawn insists on her partners cumming inside her. It gets her off like crazy, and it fires me up, too. When I'm not home, Dawn will usually go up to his apartment to have sex, unless they want to bathe or shower together, then they use our bedroom. But on special occasions, like her birthday, we'll let him spend the night in our bed so we both can give her FULL attention. On his birthday, Dawn stays the whole night with him. On my birthday, I usually get tied to a chair and watch them. facelick When he's spent his load inside her, I get untied and we all three play. For just evening play, we'll use either bed. We'll also occasionally take two or three day trips. Most times, we'll take him with us, and share a hotel room with a king size bed.

 

I don't think that this would qualify as a 'poly' relationship. I don't even know if it sounds like a swinging relationship. But as long as all the parties involved are happy, then more power to them. However, this sort of reminds me of an earlier thread started by Spoomonkey regarding bringing someone home as a 'pet'. While that thread was approached more or less tongue-in-cheek this sounds like a real-life situation of such an occurance. Interesting......

 

Better Half

[!!abbot 15]

Whether or not to use a condom in my opinion depends on the personal likings of both the partners. Well one cant certainly deny about the safety measures of the condoms but once you are having sex with a single partner I think there is no need to use the condom. In my case I can say that I know when to stop and therefore when I feel that I am now going to ejaculate I can safely take out my dick from where it was. But not all people can do the same still there are many available pills which can help prevent the fertility process so why compromise on enjoyment! Unless there are multiple sex partners condom is a No No for me!

[Amanda69 24]

If we know a couple well enough we will consider going bareback, but they have got to be squeaky clean and responsible people.

 

Problem is the multiplication factor in this. They sleep with two other people, who slept with 4 other people etc etc...and somewhere down the line was the one who catches the bad break, spreading it to all the other wonderfully, responsible people who "trusted" their partners.

 

Heck in how many loving, allegedly monogomous marriages did the wife or husband suddenly find themselves with an STD because the other partner had stepped out on them....please the only person you can be 100% sure about is yourself..don't take chances.

 

Condoms may not be 100% but the other alternative leaves you 100% open to STD's.

[Alura 2,775]

NewandNervous wrote:

 

In today's risky world, why would couples elect to abstain from condom use? Especially with new people that they do not know in any way. Does anyone here elect to say "no" to using a condom? If so, why would you take that risk?

 

We've never used condoms because we feel that if a couple offers risks bad enough to require them, the risks of having sex with them WITH condoms is too great. In other words, if we feel we need condoms with a particular couple, we won't play with them at all.

 

That reduces the number of prospective playmates a lot with the results that we've played with five couples in twenty-five years. We have never played with anyone that we "[did] not know in any way." We don't go to clubs and we don't play with singles.

 

Our playmates have all been long-term, committed married couples who have had little or (for the most part) no outside contact. Of course, any of them could have lied to us but that's where the ability to read "white eyes" comes into play.

 

Abstinance is by far the best way to prevent STDs. Next comes only playing with folks who don't have STDs. Way, way down the line is condoms.

 

No matter how a couple goes about the sport of swinging, there is always some risk involved.

 

Mr. Alura

[ohash01 20]

I tend to be on the anal-retentive side of things and I also have a little "germie" issue. Germs freak me out. If you have a cold, I'm probably running in the other direction. I work at a hospital, but in HR...Mr. got a stomach bug once. He called me at work to tell me. I ran to the supply closet, got masks, rubber gloves, and hospital grade disinfectant, then I ran home and de-germified the whole house.

 

I have to feel safe. Plus, I have no health insurance. So I'm not taking any unneccessary risks. You know - if condoms had NEVER been invented and were unknown to all, obviously I wouldn't be using them. But since they are, and they make things safer (even though not COMPLETELY safe) I'm all for them.

[She_n_Jaybee 15]

Whether or not to use a condom in my opinion depends on the personal likings of both the partners. Well one cant certainly deny about the safety measures of the condoms but once you are having sex with a single partner I think there is no need to use the condom. In my case I can say that I know when to stop and therefore when I feel that I am now going to ejaculate I can safely take out my dick from where it was. But not all people can do the same still there are many available pills which can help prevent the fertility process so why compromise on enjoyment! Unless there are multiple sex partners condom is a No No for me!

 

The common term for men who use the "pull out before I cum" method of birth control is daddy. My second wife couldn't take birth control pills. Not a good thing for women with a family or personal history of cancer. For a period of time after undergoing chemotherapy, pregnancy is a very bad idea. During that 6 month period she used the "pull out" method. Ended up pregnant twice. As a method of preventing the transfer of STD's, it's like touching an iron to keep from getting burned. If the iron is on ...

[Amanda69 24]

The common term for men who use the "pull out before I cum" method of birth control is daddy.

AKA Vatican Roulette....

[discoandvyper 15]

No glove, no love with us. We don't care how well we know you. We don't care how up to date your STD test results are. We don't care that Disco had a tubal ligation and is more than likely not able to get pregnant. No glove, no love, period.

[reed&diana 17]

We know two couples that have been swinging for over thirty years and do not use condoms. They say they have never had any problems. It seems that people in the lifestyle are aware of the risks and act accordingly with screening the new playmates. There is risk associated with this lifestyle. What is disturbing is the ones who look down and put down others who will accept more risk in their fun. Unless you use dental dams and condoms for oral, who is to say that your risk is better than someone elses.

[JacobSky 17]

Good point reed&diana.

 

Mr. Alura's ealier reply on this thread explained how I feel on this issue. So does Nimbis43's reply. He points out that he feels condoms provide a false sense of security. I will use them though if the couple requests it.

 

I'd rather see tests though, as I love to perform oral on a woman, and condoms don't block herpes either.

 

I prefer to get to know the couple and stay tested.

[twobears 16]

I like to say to this group that says "a false feeling of safe" no I do not expect the condom to do it all and I use condom when I do oral except on some women(bi female here). I do have female condoms oh in case I want to use them. You can not really totally depend even on a test, as a negative now, I have sex with you and next month become positive, then guess what. It is going to be common for all people to test for HIV in the near future,it could help save your life. I get so tried of hearing how you cut down your danger of std's by screening couples,nor for the ones that "know" the couple,you do not know what they did 10yrs back and oh yes one is usually positive within 6 months after being exposed to HIV,but not all the time and the same with the Herpes virus,it is very common and the other std that can harm female reproductive system is hardy detected except by ordor or discharge. There are people that are walking time bombs,have been exposed and don't know it and having what I call "free" sex. Yes, there are only certain condoms that protect against HIV,most today have the chemicals in the lube oh. I am 60 years old becoming positive will shorten my life and my age group will have less of a chance of getting HIV than a younger couple who started having sex in the last 20 years. Yes, we know the danger of the lifestyle and condoms are a must. I use strawberry ones for my orals sex on males,taste good and I still can give good head I have been told. Using condoms can be fun and sexy if we look at it in a different way and how we use,the kind we use. I like to help my male partners when his touch is need to finish putting it on, I am holding his balls, licking them you get the idea,got to keep him hard.LOL

[SCcpl40 74]

Preventing STD Infection

The most reliable ways to avoid becoming infected with or transmitting STDs are:

 

Abstain from sexual intercourse (i.e., oral, vaginal, or anal sex)

Be in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner

 

Reducing Your Risk of STD Infection

All partners should get tested for HIV and other STDs before initiating sexual intercourse. However, if you decide to be sexually active with a partner whose infection status is unknown or who is infected with HIV or another STD, you can reduce your risk of contracting an STD:

 

Ask a new sex partner if he or she has an STD, has been exposed to one, or has any unexplained physical symptoms. Do not have sex if your partner has signs or symptoms of STDs, such as sores, rashes, or discharge from the genital area. Many common STDs have no symptoms but can still be transmitted to a sexual partner. If your partner has had sexual relations with someone else recently, he or she may have an STD, even if there are no symptoms.

Use a new condom for each act of insertive intercourse.

Get regular checkups for STDs (even if you show no symptoms), and be familiar with the common symptoms. Most STDs are readily treated, and the earlier treatment is sought and sex partners are warned, the less likely the disease will do irreparable damage.

STD FAQs and Basic Facts (Printable Version)

This section of the NPIN Website connects you to basic information from the Division of STD Prevention (DSTD) at the CDC's National Center for HIV, STD and TB Prevention.

 

Basic Facts on STDs

Get fact sheets, articles, and reports on some of the most common STDs:

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)

Chlamydia

Genital Herpes/Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV)

Genital Warts/Human Papillomavirus (HPV)

Gonorrhea

STDs and HIV/AIDS

Syphilis

Trichomoniasis

 

FAQs on STD Trends Get answers to questions about trends in STD infection, including their occurrence in specific populations and the economic impact of STD infection in the United States.

 

Now you have the information, it's a personal choice, like drinking and driving, smoking, wearing a condom. People do it sometimes for years without any problems. Life is a risk if you live it to the fullest, or you could be holed up in a bunker just watching it go by.

[lott 38]

twobears, I agree with everything you stated BUT please try to stay away from condoms that have nonoxynol-9 on them as they INCREASE the chances of getting an std.

 

Also, if you want a good, strong, and real fitting condom get the world's thinnest which is zero zero three condoms. They are a japanese condom and they are THIN and STRONG and also have no taste due to the proteins and water soluble substances being washed away. They should also be good for being who have latex allergies due to this very reason.

 

You should also use a nice silky sheer glyde dam when going down on a woman because hpv is real and can cause havoc on your life. Just put some lube on the vagina before performing orals sex with the glyde dam.

 

I just read a post by someone on another site stating that they had oral sex on someone and they found out that the hpv virus had grown on their throat and therefore had to have numerous operations to get rid of it or risk losing their throat. Real scary.

[Mr TybeeSwing 201]

I find the "condoms don't protect against all STDs so I don't use them" comment a little like the "a bullet proof vest won't stop an armor piercing round so I won't wear one" theory. There is no such thing as a 100% solution, but studies have shown that gay men (the most at risk group) having sex with a condom are 75% less likely to contact a STD than those that don't wear them. As a guy that plays poker as a hobby I think I will stict with the odds.

[good times 991]

I find the "condoms don't protect against all STDs so I don't use them" comment a little like the "a bullet proof vest won't stop an armor piercing round so I won't wear one" theory. There is no such thing as a 100% solution, but studies have shown that gay men (the most at risk group) having sex with a condom are 75% less likely to contact a STD than those that don't wear them. As a guy that plays poker as a hobby I think I will stict with the odds.

This view, which I have heard before, always baffles me. I am not gay, nor do we play with gay/bi men, nor do we engage in anal sex, so why would that statistic be relevant to me? The reason I ask this is that if you read the studies and even if you believe the common statistics, gays are in a completely different and much higher risk group than people who engage only in vaginal sex, so while I respect your choice to have your opinion regarding condom use, I just don't understand how a non-relevant statistic like this would be a basis for making that choice. To apply your example, it seems to me to be like saying, "since a bullet proof vest will stop everything except an armor piercing round, I better wear one for this squirt gun fight."

[Mr TybeeSwing 201]

While gay mean are at the highest overall risk for STDs, currently the most at risk group for AIDS is black heterosexual women, followed by white heterosexual women. I am not trying to tell anyone what they should do, and I can even see the logic behind two exclusive couples or the like, however I can't see the justification of the risk for the majority of people in the lifestyle. But if you are 100% sure of your sexual partners history go for it.

[Chicup 42]

While the risk of AID's is really quite low for a heterosexual couple in swinging, you only have to be wrong once.

 

Also there is the added benifit of LOWERING the chance of other STD's. Yes a condom does not make you HSVII proof, but it can help. Having recently had a HSVII scare (which turned out negative) all I can say is that you really don't want it.

 

Added birth control is also a nice thing to have. The more layers of protection the better if you/your wife is still of child bearing age.

 

Condoms are NOT a universal barrier, and being selective with your partners is more important, however I would never belittle someones insistance on using them.

[good times 991]

While gay mean are at the highest overall risk for STDs, currently the most at risk group for AIDS is black heterosexual women, followed by white heterosexual women. I am not trying to tell anyone what they should do, and I can even see the logic behind two exclusive couples or the like, however I can't see the justification of the risk for the majority of people in the lifestyle. But if you are 100% sure of your sexual partners history go for it.

I think I understand your point Mr. Tybee and have even read claims similar to what you refer to above, and like Chiccup said, I would never belittle a persons decision to use condoms, nor would I belittle anyones decision not to use them, for that matter. The only thing that bothers me is that the majority of condom users that I know really think that as long as they put that condom on they are totally safe, and subsequently they engage in higher risk behavior than they probably would if they new that they weren't as protected by the condom as they believed. In this regard the members of this board seem to be more educated on the subject than the general swinging population we run into at the clubs, at least most that have responded to threads here on the subject concede that the risk is reduced, more or less depending on which std we are talking about, not eliminated by condom use.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We had a couple dump us because we didn't want to be with them without condoms. I don't know their logic in thinking that a couple must be clean because they are dating each other or what, but there are alot of people out there with an std and don't even know it. We would never be with a couple without protection.

[Joshua 15]

Hey, Are you two (Mike and Dawn) currently without a renter? I certainly qualify on the virginity front, and all other terms sound quite agreeable!

 

-VirginM2Defile

 

We never ask our M partners to use condoms. In fact, we have a "no condom" rule, but I think our situation is a bit different. We basically engage in poly relationships with only males. And we screen and check the prospectives thoroughly to find only virgins, as Dawn gets off on being a virgin's first. And we both really, really enjoy teaching them how to pleasure a woman. We'll just play at first, but when we're sure we've met a guy we want to invite into our relationship, we discovered a little trick to get a free HIV antibody test. We set the deal before him. We have a "mother-in-law" apartment above our garage. We offer to let him move in on these conditions:

 

1. He must get a $50,000 (or more) life insurance policy through our insurance agent. This requires the antibody test. When he brings us the declarations page for the policy, we know he passed. So far, all have.

 

2. For the time he's in a relationship with us, he must remain manogomous to us.

 

3. He must live in our apartment during the relationship. The rent is very reasonable ($200/mo), but he must take care of his own utilities.

 

4. No photography of him with us is allowed. We will allow him to photograph us, though.

 

In exchange, he's free to have sex with Dawn any time she agrees, whether I'm home or not. This helps keep him agreeable to condition #2. Dawn insists on her partners cumming inside her. It gets her off like crazy, and it fires me up, too. When I'm not home, Dawn will usually go up to his apartment to have sex, unless they want to bathe or shower together, then they use our bedroom. But on special occasions, like her birthday, we'll let him spend the night in our bed so we both can give her FULL attention. On his birthday, Dawn stays the whole night with him. On my birthday, I usually get tied to a chair and watch them. facelick When he's spent his load inside her, I get untied and we all three play. For just evening play, we'll use either bed. We'll also occasionally take two or three day trips. Most times, we'll take him with us, and share a hotel room with a king size bed.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

some of the most common STDs:

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)

Chlamydia

Genital Herpes/Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV)

Genital Warts/Human Papillomavirus (HPV)

Gonorrhea

STDs and HIV/AIDS

Syphilis

Trichomoniasis

 

 

It can happen, we know. Trichomoniasis; got that once. A man, apparently, does not always have symptoms. But J did. Had to take these huge pills for a month and they cause a taste as if you're sucking on a titanium lolly pop all day. We know that we can get STDs. Maybe we should be using condoms and dental dams. But we don't. We'll made a point to not blame others.

 

M

[tribbles 490]

Was the original question why some people go bareback?

 

We met a number of >50 yr old swingers and most say 'something' changed near the age of 50, and they lose their erections, even with viagra, so they decided to accept the risks.

[highlander 21]

I can understand why some folks might decide that they despite condoms so much they'd prefer either just engaging in manual play like massage or playing without a condom and exchanging test results to make sure they aren't exposed to diseases they don't already have.

 

The porn industry stars haven't been using condoms but _do_ have an extensive testing protocol(http://www.aim-med.org/). They've had a pretty low rate of conversion-so that route is a credible risk reduction method in my book. (note the test advertised in that site is sensitive after 14 days compared to 180 for what is most widely available). Basically their protocol is everyone gets tested every 30 days. Now HIV is pretty hard to transmit-about 1 in 500 for a woman that has intercourse with an infected partner-so the odds of someone

1) testing negative

2) having either not yet shown positive or converting is pretty small.

 

However, what I see is a lot of folks that are simply doing nothing--and selecting their partners from pools that are pretty high risk(i.e. folks that dabble in drugs that may put them in contact with IV users).

 

Just FYI, I tend to think the adult industry protocol test is a reasonable way to reduce the chance of AIDS infection. The risks those folks are running though include:

1) some new disease cropping up

2) a strain of HIV cropping up that doesn't show up on existing tests

3) folks converting

 

If you really want the ultimate in safety, I'd figure out some way to mix use of condoms and testing. A lot of folks are already doing oral sex bareback-and using condoms for intercourse. If those folks would focus their attention in clubs that tested for admission, they'd be reducing their risks compared to where they are now.

 

The big drawback I see for testing is cost. The AIM tests are $300 for a comprehensive set of tests. I'd guess that 4 time per year is the minimum for for any real benefit-and you need to have a pool of folks that are getting tested and sharing results to have any real benefit. There were some folks at the ACE of hearts here in Portland that were having events that required a recent test result for admission-but I'm not sure if it really caught on.

[TheCouple 18]

My wife always requires a partner to use one for vaginal. She recently started allowing anal and she didnt ask that one be used. Then she read alot of stuff on line that spooked her so she does anal(prefers it) but she now requires sex for anal as well unless its the male partner of a couple we have known for years, he manages to get in "there" without one. facelick

[cuzzeyesaidso 31]

If you spend much time at on-premise swing clubs you will observe people engaging in behaviour that is commonly believed to be risky for contracting STD's. They obviously believe that the condom they are using will protect them....

 

My wife and I witnessed this at a swing club where all the men were wearing condoms, but they were using that same condom to fuck more than one woman in an orgy.

 

And I've always wondered about when we play with a single woman and my wife sucks me and then licks the other lady's pussy. There has got to be some kind of fluid transfer there. Regardless we wrap it up before I begin intercourse.

[TerryforSex 14]

touching hand to vagina and switching partners is amazing more swingers dont get pregnant. one woman has a man bareback....and the next has the guy wear a condm so she doesnt get pregnannt.....spread semen from hand to another vagina is easy and wow.....sperm ttravels

[creampiegirl 16]

I don't practice wearing condom cause they smell funny and I just don't like the feeling ;( I love if a man can pound me with his big and stiff cock hard and deep and pump loads of sperm in my asian pussy during my fertile period and use me for breeding their children!

[Better Half 15]

What?????

[Spoomonkey 421]

What?????

 

Here is the answer to your insightful question

 

Creampiegirl is, in all likelihood, not an Asian woman who likes to get gang-banged in the hopes of having illegitimate pregnancies and convenient abortions. Rather "she" is a lonely fellow who still plays hours of on-line role-playing games, even though he is nearing his 25th high school reunion, and has only had sex with his right hand (though he has been known to cheat with his left, from time to time).

 

When he is not a wizard in some MUDD somewhere, he is dutifully helping his mother take her pills, letting her, in turn, support his lazy ass while he surfs the net for the bizarre dark corners of digital pornography.

 

He is now stretching the fantasy by posting on this (and maybe other) sex related boards and pretending to be the woman that he could never have... Hoping, of course, that he will find someone who shares his sick fantasies and will exchange email or maybe even a detailed yahoo chat...

 

That's my theory of such posters

 

Spoomonkey

[creampiegirl 16]

that's not such a good thing to say spoonmonkey ;(

[landb4fun 15]

If you don't trust the pussy, why are you fucking the pussy?

[Tybee Swing 286]

If you don't trust the pussy, why are you fucking the pussy?

 

This answer is easy for me.

 

Trust is earned. It's earned over time, gradually, step by step as I get to know a person. When their actions match their words and they prove themselves over time to be true to their word, honorable, caring - and a number of other character traits - I eventually will put my faith and trust in a person. Nobody knows the true character of a person until they gain this in-depth, first-hand knowledge of the person.

 

Most people will agree that trusting strangers, virtual strangers, or people you're only moderately acquainted with isn't very smart.

 

Swingers engage in casual sex. That's what swinging is about, for most who swing. We can like people, be attracted to people, and want to be with people without necessarily trusting them (putting our fate in their hands). The only way to gain full and complete trust in swing partners is to spend a lot of time "dating" and getting very close to them. Most of us don't do that and don't want to do that. So obviously, we fuck without putting our complete trust and faith into the people we fuck. It just makes sense, under the circumstances.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Trust is earned. It's earned over time, gradually, step by step as I get to know a person. When their actions match their words and they prove themselves over time to be true to their word, honorable, caring - and a number of other character traits - I eventually will put my faith and trust in a person. Nobody knows the true character of a person until they gain this in-depth, first-hand knowledge of the person.

 

 

Great post, TS!

 

Spoomonkey

[Tybee Swing 286]

Why thank you, my purple friend.

[Reno777 15]

My wife gets a sort of rash when condoms are used. We know the guys who we let cum inside her so we know it is safe.

Same here. We only swing with one other couple at a time (so far only two couples in our history). We all get tested and then stay together.