If married, don't swing...It can be horrible & ruin your marriage

[Guest Unregistered]

We did it...A 3 some and have had nothing but flash backs and bad memories...We found out the hard way...That all we ever needed was each other. If you love the one you're with..Don't ruin it by inviting someone into your love life.....We made a big mistake and wish it hadn't ever happened now.

Seriously before you do think about it and realize it's only lust and only lasts for a few minutes the bad memoried last forever!

[intuition897 2,179]

lol.. It will be very interesting to see the responses to this post, Guest. If you'd like to respond to this thread any further (and we'd love to hear back from you), you'll need to register, though.

 

Hope to hear back from you!

 

To respond to your statement, I'd like to say that while your experience is not exactly unique (meaning that there are lots of other couples out there who were playing with fire when they tried swinging), neither is it the ONLY outcome of swinging. This board is chock full of happy-ending stories from married couples, and as one of them, I have to say I believe they are true.

 

I am very sorry that your relationship was damaged. Maybe you think it ridiculous to do so, but I'm sure if you posted more detail about exactly what happened, there are lots of folks on here who would like to help by offering some heartfelt advice. Troubleshooting, if you will.

[captainbob 30]

I hope to hear back too. I'm sure there's a lesson there.

 

Sure there's horror stories. Swinging is not for everybody.

 

You need a good solid loving relationship with your spouse. You need to do a little research. You need to discuss it. You need great communication. You need honesty. You both need to agree to do it. You need a plan to deal with trouble. You need to start slow.

 

How many of these things were missing to create the horror story?

[TNT 1,155]

So true, married almost 25 years and swinging about 23, I am expecting our marriage to fail at any moment.

 

Ted

[Roman Hands 15]

It will make you go BLIND too!!!!!!!

[tribbles 490]

hair on the palms (and worse....other palces too! LOL )

[Mr. Truelove 81]

Yes, It Seems Very Unlikely To Work. Despite What Would Appear To Be Successful Swingers On This Site And Others, I'm Sure That They Are All On The Verge Of Failure.

 

I Call It A Swinging "Bubble", Which I Am Sure Will Burst At Any Moment.

 

L O L

[turnuptheheat 98]

I hope guest registers and perhaps the input from members can actually help to heal what is at least perceived as a wound to their relationship.

Does the Mrs feel the same way? How long ago was it and under what circumstances did the 3 way occur? Was it totally discussed beforehand or spontaneous?

 

Most swingers would agree that ll they really need is each other, but the experience of swinging, rather than being hurtful is liberating and brings them to a level of mutual love and respect that is deeper and more complex than before.

 

Is there a particular element of the experience that guest is threatened by?

Maybe there is help here guest, and as was already posted, maybe swinging is not for you.

[Dooode 18]

I heard a saying once on another forum and for years it stuck with me. (I'm going to paraphrase it and I might muck it up, but here goes!)

 

"Swinging is like a fire to a marriage. If the marriage is secure and trustful, swinging adds a nice warm flame to the relationship. If the marriage is laced with insecurities and mistrust, swinging will burn it out faster than a forest fire out of control."

 

Hey, I didn't muck it up after all!

 

As a side-comment, I've seen marriages where one or the other is doing something without the knowledge of their spouse (or plans to). I always recognize that as a bad sign in the marriage and I'll drop them as a prospect or playmate.

 

Trust and open communication = good.

Scheming and potential drama = bad.

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

When Laurie and I started playing with another couple there were some issues to work out, but within a few weeks we had it all in proper context and it was fine.

We started playing in our 4th year of marriage. December will be 19 years for us. I'm really sorry that it didn't work out for the people in question but I think it was other issues, not swinging that caused the difficulty. Maybe the extra strain brought it to the surface, but deeper issues caused it.

[WesternSwing 504]

I don't think the OP is someone swinging didn't work out for. I think it is a drive-by posting from some "the end is near" zealot trying to save us from something they see as wrong and immoral. They gave it their best shot. LOL

 

Mr. WS

[Amanda69 24]

crap so we have been doing it wrong all along...damn I knew it was too good to be true...being happy, content and sexually excited by sharing ourselves with others...ahh well

[Spoomonkey 420]

Yawn

 

Seriously... This board is filled with strong marriages and experienced swing couples. Your one bad experience does not invalidate the experiences of the rest of us - it only proves the idea that to swing, you need a strong marriage with excellent communication.

 

If you don't then, it certainly can be quite horrible...

 

This is sort of like walking up the edge of the pool at the Olympics and telling all the swimmers that they could drown...

 

PS - Thanks for the warning, though. God forbid something bad happen to us...

[beaverz 18]

Quote

Originally Posted by: Guest

We found out the hard way...That all we ever needed was each other.

 

If you had to swing to discover that all you ever needed was each other than there were issues before inviting someone else into your love life.

 

I doubt swinging caused a problem it just added to them.

[LetsParty 17]

My Life Partner and I have been together for 7 years.

 

We've been in the Lifestyle for 6 years.

 

It all started after seeing a segment on 20/20 (or Prime Time..), after which we read The Lifestyle by Terry Gould.

 

Since then, we haven't turned back!

 

Sure, we've had our share of stories and drama, but 9 times outta 10, nothing but fun experiences!

[RANDJ4FUN 15]

I don't think the OP is someone swinging didn't work out for. I think it is a drive-by posting from some "the end is near" zealot trying to save us from something they see as wrong and immoral. They gave it their best shot. LOL

 

Mr. WS

Yeah -- sounds about right to me too.

 

And don't forget -- wqe are ALL going to burn in HELL (dramatic pause) FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WesternSwing 504]

crap so we have been doing it wrong all along...damn I knew it was too good to be true...being happy, content and sexually excited by sharing ourselves with others...ahh well

To some of more Puritanical thought, being unhappy is the road to happiness. Happiness can only be achieved through self-sacrifice and suffering in this life and can only be found in the afterlife.

 

Mr. WS

[Douoble_Down 15]

I better hurry up and tell Mrs.DD, wait a second, this was her idea. And we are really digging it, loving each other, and we have been together for 9 years, married for two, and swinging for 8. PLus this gives us stories to tell the familky when we see them at Christmas time, yeah right.

[Dave_kat 227]

Hmmm, what to add that hasn't been added already?

 

9 years and counting, and a very happy (and successful) relationship. Makes you wonder. Not going to say we're doing something wrong, we're not about to apologize for living a wonderful life.

 

And besides, our faiths don't believe in Hell

[SuAndBud 21]

Have mixed feelings on this as I (Bud) shared Su with a male friend of ours on a number of occasions during the summer last year.

 

I still get flashbacks of when I needed to go pee and I looked back to see him thrusting into her and I thought "what are you doing? you've a beautiful lady here and you're abusing it".

 

Since then, we've repeated it tho and Su not only fully takes part, on many occasions she instigates the entire thing, but I often wonder is she doing it for her, for us or just for me.

 

My particular fantasy is always to see her being satisfied by myself and other guys. Girls in the mix would be good and she professes to have bisexual tendencies, too, but we haven't been lucky enough to experience that yet. Plus I'd feel a bit guilty having sex with another girl while she was in the same room (did/does any other board member feel like this?). I'll never stop enjoying sharing her, but....

 

....I can see where the original poster is coming from.

[intuition897 2,179]

Have mixed feelings on this as I (Bud) shared Su with a male friend of ours on a number of occasions during the summer last year.

 

I still get flashbacks of when I needed to go pee and I looked back to see him thrusting into her and I thought "what are you doing? you've a beautiful lady here and you're abusing it".

 

Since then, we've repeated it tho and Su not only fully takes part, on many occasions she instigates the entire thing, but I often wonder is she doing it for her, for us or just for me.

 

Can see where the original poster is coming from.

First if all, I have to wonder about the way you worded the first part. You shared her. It sounded like some sort of transaction or arrangement between you and the other guy. This has almost nothing to do with the other guy. Of course you should feel comfortable with him having sex with your wife, but in the end, it's her decision to make.

 

And I wonder, also, about your attitude about swinging at all? If you are, in fact, "lending out" your wife to someone else, then I'd have to agree with your summation that you are indeed abusing your priveleges as a husband. If you're doing this because you feel you somehow have to do it to make her happy or prevent her from having an affair, you are just going to end up with a pair of broken hearts. That crap has to be sorted out before you even consider swinging!

 

Swinging isn't supposed to hurt; it's supposed to be fun and enriching to your marriage. If it isn't improving your relationship, it's hurting it, and you need to stop. It sounds to me like you still have some unanswered questions in your mind. If you don't resolve those NOW they will eat away at your brain until they drive you crazy. Questions like these, left to their own devices and in the grip of an active imagination, are like an infection that will fester and grow. Talk to your wife and let her know that you are feeling very uneasy about why you're both doing this at all. What does it mean to her? Explain to her why you are interested in it? What does your relationship mean to the both of you? The tougher the question, the better. Aim for the questions that make you the MOST uncomfortable and get them out in the open. Work together to resolve them.

[LFM2 1,482]

Hi and Welcome to you both, Bud and Su.

 

Why would you think you are abusing your beautiful lady? You might be abusing her if she didn't enjoy it and you thrust her into this wild world of swinging without her full consent, or, maybe if you were expecting her to go faster than she is comfortable with. Do you think you might be abusing your relationship? You're taking her for granted? Hopefully, you both go home together and make mad passionate love after you've played?

 

It reads to me that maybe you weren't ready for it. She is maybe going faster than what you're comfortable with?

 

I think if I were you Bud, I'd be sitting Su down and have a talk with her about YOUR feelings. What you're not comfortable seeing her do, what you're not ready for and what you'd like to see happen the next time -- if there is a next time.

 

As far as the OP goes, I'd like to hear more about his situation, and I like the others, would like to read his explanation.

[Spoomonkey 420]

SuAndBud said:

....I can see where the original poster is coming from.

 

If you can see where the original poster is coming from - except perhaps in the purest Jungian sense - then you really need to re-evaluate what you are doing. There is no shame in NOT swinging, friend. The only shame is in doing something that you can't handle.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm amazed at this thread... I actually thought it would lead to bad things... color me wrong.

 

1. It's an enjoyable read to read so many posts from so many happy couples who have been together for quite a while and swinging quite a while and OMG still happy!

 

2. It brought us Sue & Bud, whom hopefully we can actually help, unlike the original poster who will probably never come back and post the whats whens or whys that have made them feel the way they do.

 

Bud, Welcome to the board. Hopefully Sue is reading along with you and by now you have discussed this post and realized that either a) she does enjoy what she's doing and is doing it for herself (as much if not more than for you), or b)that she doesn't enjoy what she's doing and you should stop swinging.

 

Personally, I think that if you feel that if you are swinging and ever feel that maybe swinging isn't the right thing for you to be doing then it probably isn't. Swinging is not for everyone.

[SuAndBud 21]

Thanks for such quick responses and insight.

 

We got started by watching "naughty" (Su's description - lol) DVD's. Turned out that when choosing which to watch, we both kept choosing those that featured a girl and 2 or 3 guys or 2 girls and 5 guys etc., (there were always more guys).

 

I often said "John (our friend) would love to join in with you in bed" or "how would you feel if me and John were doing the same to you" as in the film. She slapped it down at first (maybe out of loyalty to me?) but quickly became super-aroused at the mention of me and her and John. I found it equally stimulating to imagine the scenario.

 

After a lot of foreplay (every time I spoke to John on the phone, Su would come up and say "Hello, John. How would you like to be here now?"). She would then proceed to give me a BJ or push her naked pussy into my face and even get me to penetrate her while I was talkng to him and I was describing what we were up to with Su saying things like "John, I need you. I need something to suck" so he could hear.

 

I told her I was going to invite him to stay with us for a few days and that I hoped she was going to put her money where her mouth is when he came over. At that point, she said to me "You want to share me with John?" and the "sharing" word has stuck with me ever since as that was it in a nutshell.

 

John's a good friend, my best friend, that I've been pals with since we were 8 years old. At no point has he ever pushed the boundaries. He's turned on by Su (few guys or bi/bicurious girls wouldn't be as she is brazenly beautiful - and knows it).

 

I'm comfortable seeing them both having pleasure with each other and I'm confident in myself that I'm Su's man as I'm no slouch where fun and sex are concerned. I do find it erotic when Su gives head to another guy and even encourages us to DP her.

 

I was just saying that, in spite of this, I can still recall my thought on that very first night when I saw them together and I got scared that I might have spoiled things between me and Su. As it happens, I hadn't, but I can see why the original poster got upset later.

 

I think that 1 thing that lends strength to our relationship is that Su has never felt she should "reciprocate" in any way by engaging in 2 girls and me action and as long as she's not leaning towards that, I'll never push for it.

 

Call me soft or a sap or whatever, but I get turned on to see her with another guy and she seems to enjoy the attention. I'd love her to want to see me do likewise with another girl, but until that is cool with her (and it has to come from her), I'm in control and "faithfull" to her.

[She_n_Jaybee 15]

Unregistered said:

We did it...A 3 some and have had nothing but flash backs and bad memories...We found out the hard way...That all we ever needed was each other. If you love the one you're with..Don't ruin it by inviting someone into your love life.....We made a big mistake and wish it hadn't ever happened now.

Seriously before you do think about it and realize it's only lust and only lasts for a few minutes the bad memoried last forever

 

 At what point in time were you designated the official decision maker for the rest of the world? Admittedly, I'm occasionally out of touch with current events, but I would have remembered that one. Should I have never eaten broccoli because my grandmother dislikes it? My uncle is a vegetarian, will I now die from the hamburger I had for lunch? How much of my life should I have avoided because one other person had a bad experience? Should everyone out here base their life upon your bad experience? A bad experience with absolutely no details to help determine the cause of your personal failure?

 

Pardon me for the rant.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Call me soft or a sap or whatever, but I get turned on to see her with another guy and she seems to enjoy the attention. I'd love her to want to see me do likewise with another girl, but until that is cool with her (and it has to come from her), I'm in control and "faithfull" to her.

 

I don't think anyone here will call you soft or a sap for being turned on watching your wife with another guy, and more importantly wanting her to enjoy herself.

 

I think too often we get so far into this and forget what those early days felt like. How scary it may have been or those small pangs of jealousy or questions we may have had. It's too easy to become jaded as we are involved in this lifestyle for longer periods of time. It's important for each of us to look back and try to remember how we felt the first time.

 

Yes, swinging can be a horrible decision and it CAN ruin your marriage... if it's the wrong decision for you. But we each have to make our own decisions and it's up to each of us to do the research first and think about decisions long enough to hopefully make the RIGHT decision, so that we don't ruin anything.

 

Again Welcome Bud, I hope you'll stick around. Please be sure to confirm your email address so you have have full access here.

[SuAndBud 21]

Thanks Julie for your attention and encouragement.

 

I guess the hardest part for wannabee swingers is looking your soulmate in the eye and saying I'm happy to see you doing the sort of stuff with someone else that Emily Bronte would have deemed anathema.

 

"But how can you possibly love me then?" Is the natural response (all the while thinking "that sounds so cool" giggle). Su and I giggle about this a lot, which helps no end.

 

Not only am I happy to see you do it, but I find it a major turn-on!

 

Me an Su are relatively new to the lifestyle (lots of new adventures awaiting us). I (Bud) hope I'll be open minded enough to remember how we felt at this point, in the future and NOT become jaded as I'm sure can happen. Su's gone to bed. Work for her tomorrow. Bank holiday for me.

 

Can't wait to see John &/or A N Other with her again, though. I feel like I ought to feel bad, but I don't 'cause she's the one that starts it off as a rule.

 

Lord deliver me from insatiable women. LOL.

[intuition897 2,179]

Bud, it sounds like you and Su are one of those lucky couples who have managed to successfully swing with a close friend. Not many are willing or able to do that, because you risk things "getting weird", or losing your friend should anyone overstep the personal emotional space boundary of your relationship.

 

It sounds like that first reaction was in the normal range. It's probably a good thing to worry about, whether you're doing the right thing or not. But if you really can't see any clouds on the horizon in this situation, you really don't see it endangering your relationships with one another, then why create clouds where there are none? You sound like you're well adjusted to the idea of swinging, so that's great. I'd just suggest that you follow up with Su, get behind that smile and find out if this is actually what she wants or if she just feels like it is somehow expected of her? This is an opportunity to deepen emotional intimacy with one another. Don't settle for the "Nothing's wrong, dear" answer if you are sure that there's more to the story.

[sereneiders 263]

SuAndBud,

 

Welcome to the board!

 

I agree with intuition here. Moreover, you said you understand where this guy came from when talking about the flashbacks, and I wonder if this doesn't correlate to picking your best friend as a swinger partner.

 

As intuition said, consider yourself REALLY lucky, and this post isn't for you two, but more for other readers that may be thinking of swinging with some friend, since it worth to point out you two are the exception.

 

Before engaging in swinging, no one knows for sure what may happen, even more, you hardly would be able to figure out all the possible outcomes, the way you'd feel, how much it will differ from your fantasies, and where it differs, wheter it will be something sweet or bitter. The advice of avoiding to swing with friends comes, in most part, from this fact: if the experience turns to be a bad one, from then and one your friend would become a hurtfull reminder for you two, and it's likely that you end up losing the friendship. But if you did it with previously unknown people, you can affrod not to meet them anymore.

 

I don't know what do you understand by "flashbacks" (or if am understanding the same here), but I believe the more people involved in those memories actually have a relationship with you, the more likely those flashbacks would affect you.

 

In any case, your experience seems to be far from the OP one (IF the OP ever had a swinging experience at all).

[prettylady 221]

Hey Su and Bud. Welcome

 

to our guest

 

I am new to swinging as well. I have to say even if it doesn't work out(which Dog and I hope it does) for Dog and I The lesson I have learned in communication has made this experience, however limited, a worth while experience.

 

You have spent most of your life with the idea that she is mine I am hers mentality. I expressed a few times on the board and to Dog that even though I am totally on board with swinging I am nervous about the first time I see Dog kiss another woman in a way other than a friendly goodnight.

 

I have never seen a boyfriend intimate with another women, it will likely take a moment and yes I may go "hey wait a minute" but I am positive that it is only going to be that one moment. I have a life time of thinking a certain way to get over.

 

That is why we chose to club first. Get a sense of what's what. Let me see Dog dance and chat up another woman.

 

I saw it, I had no trouble with him asking a woman to dance even though I knew he found her beautiful. He is a sucker for the eyes, and she has the eyes that could stop a man in his tracks.

 

I then danced with her husband and I loved it. I was different, I was a little nervous. But I liked it.

Had we have just went all the way with out getting to know and like this couple. (we haven't played yet) It may not have been a good experience. There may have been drama. I can't say for sure. But I am glad we went slow.

 

So in a VERY round about way, what I am trying to say is, You have had one way of thinking for so long that you can't just up and say, I chose to think differently starting...NOW!

 

I hope I was rambling too much, but that's my 2 cents worth.

[VCee3 15]

I think too often we get so far into this and forget what those early days felt like. How scary it may have been or those small pangs of jealousy or questions we may have had.

Echo this completely.. we've just had our second foursome and ironically it was me (MrVCee3) who began to have the usual green-eyed monster feelings after seeing her with another guy. To be honest, most of them are the usual "Is he better than me?" or "She seems to be enjoying it a little TOO much" paranoia, which is stupid because if she wasn't loving every minute of it, why the hell are we bothering?!

 

Before we did it, I was like a kid with a new toy and she was much more "oh, I'm not sure how I'll feel with you having sex with another woman". Turns out she finds it very hot and comments on how sexy I look doing it!

 

But, it doesn't make me doubt her love for me (nor mine for her) and I know those minor negative feelings will be washed away due to the strength of our relationship.

[kywife4two 17]

Our marriage is great and getting better because of the openness added to it but swinging, it was great long before we became involved with swinging though.

[Spoomonkey 420]

kywife4two said:

it was great long before we became involved with swinging though.

 

This is what makes a really successful swing couple... You have to be string going in because it can be a pretty good whirlwind at first - and while it may help strengthen a strong marriage - it can also further weaken a weak marriage.

 

We were best friends first - and now we are partners in crime

[Mrs.PaganLovers 15]

Spoomonkey said:

We were best friends first - and now we are partners in crime

 

Dito Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

Blessings

[SouthBond 18]

Possibly the Swinger's Board should have a Disclaimer saying that swinging may or may not result in your desired outcome. Enter at your own risk.

 

If you enter into any situation expecting to fail, you probably will. If either the husband or wife really doesn't want to swing but does anyway, they will be quick to say, I told you so. Jealousy is many times a major problem that rips apart the arrangement.

 

A major skill in swinging is being able to screen potential playmates. You have to feel comfortable with the other people.

 

Each spouse has to approach swinging as a gift that they are providing for their mate.

 

You have to keep making love reserved for your mate. If you give your swing partner the same intimate words and gestures, you will confuse the mechanics of swinging.

 

Some people have a very rigid conscience, that will not allow them to do anything wrong, based on their standards. For these people the feeling of guilt will dominate their life.

 

For the couple that claimed to have had a bad experience, you had a learning experience. I would bet that if you could have gotten with one of the experienced couples, that frequent the Swinger's Board, you would have had a good experience.

 

For us, swinging has been great and highly recommend it for couples equipped to handle the emotional demands.

[milookin 15]

Hmmmm..... What are you still doing still cruising this board? I'll bet one got jealous... the other enjoyed it, but claimed it was HORRIBLE.

 

One enjoys the flashbacks with fond memories, the other would like to erase the others mind!

[rebelnangel 15]

Well, I can see guests point,but i was married before and all he did was cheat, I was jealous and all. This time around things are different, we agree on everything beforehand, we have our agreement about how things will be. And I have to say,our marriage is very strong. We have no arguments and when we have a slight disagreement, we talk it out. So maybe it's not for everyone. But for the ones it works for, so be it. Our marriage is stronger than we thought it would ever be

[Darkblue 55]

Since we started swinging (were still newbies) we have grown even closer than we thought we could ever get. We have no secrets whatsoever, we tell each other everything and I mean everything. It has brought new life into our marriage, We have some minor problems that we still have to sort out but in general. I wish we had started swinging a long time ago!! But you do need a very strong trusting relationship...

[DBL D 120]

Ya Know...All of us should have been concerned about the health of our relationships first and foremost. Most of us would never want our partner to do anything she/he didn't want to get into. Most of us have made a commitment to each other for life. Most of us have developed those communication tricks to help us figure things out.

 

Most of us truly love each other and want only the most happiness that can be fit into 70 or so years of living!

 

OP...What was the problem? Did one of you freak out at something? Or did the other couple? Did someone break a rule or two? Did you get caught by the vanilla public? What made it such a disaster? Jealousy? When you say that you have found that all you need is each other, I believe you. You can't compare our positive outcomes with yours. It isn't logical.

 

If you want to register and respond to us and be a member of this society, there are many who would welcome that.

 

And welcome to SuandBud...you seem well grounded.

 

Now...if I can just figure out how to get off of this swimmers block!...

 

Male D

[wifes_sex_slave 16]

Swimming can be very hazardous to your health, if not done right or carelessly - but for those of us who can swim, I for 1 enjoy it!

[Guest MrsVan]

It is a good thing we are not seeking advise from the OP as although it may not have worked for this individual there are plenty of us that know first hand that swinging can make a marriage so amazing and make us fall in love with our partner's all over again.

 

I think that this individual may be lacking in their marriage and because of that thinks that we all should just stop what we are doing based on their issues......But oh well...We all know better and will just need to move on to the next post.

 

MrsVan

[crazycatz 17]

I think it's really unfair to say that they are lacking in their marriage because swinging didn't work for them!! Some people enjoy it and others don't. C'est la vie. Neither is right or wrong.

 

I think the tone of his post is arising from him being upset and he should be given some leeway.

[MoonLightKiss 28]

I think it's really unfair to say that they are lacking in their marriage because swinging didn't work for them!! Some people enjoy it and others don't. C'est la vie. Neither is right or wrong.

 

I think the tone of his post is arising from him being upset and he should be given some leeway.

 

Actually, I think its perfectly fair. For those who are secure in their marraige and decide to swing, and go about it in the right way, it enhances and strengthens the marraige. But you are right, it is not for everyone. So what happens to those who swing once, don't like it but were secure in their marraige? Most likely they look at each other and say "Well it was not that much fun, why don't we find something else?" and they move on. They do not let it ruin their marraige, nor do they let it come between them. Its more like trying on shoes. You buy a pair, they looked great in the store, but when you put them with that dress you bought em for, they just aren't right. What do you do? Take em back and get your money or stick em in the closet to collect dust. No harm no foul. It becomes simply a lesson, a learning experience, and noone is worse for it.

 

But he came here ranting about how it destroyed his marraige. So I honestly believe (If it wasn't just a troll) that there was a problem there and they thought swinging would fix it. Which as we can see from the guests post, did not happen.

[captainbob 30]

Wow! Isn't it funny how when you browse the new posts, or the active posts, you sometimes avoid those threads that you read before that you thought were kind of weird. But then they keep getting bumped. And then finally, you go back and read the 4 pages of new posts and realize the thread has gone off on a whole new direction! Wow!

[deanncat 25]

We have been married 10 years and have not actually been swinging yet but the thought of it and exploring the idea has made are marriage much better, we communicate better and sex is great, I don't think swinging will change that.

[havefuninsun 122]

If the OP is offering a true opinion, I do feel sorry for him/her. Smells of a troll, but who knows.

 

This I DO know, There is no way on god's green earth that I would have EVER considered swinging unless I was totally and utterly committed to Mr. Fun and our relationship. And we had to talk and wait until we both felt that bond that said, "this is not going to ruin what we have."

 

We love each other more every day. It's an amazing thing.

 

(This morning, Mr. Fun said as he kissed me goodbye "thank you" and I said "thank you for what?" and he said "thank you for making it so easy to love you." Damn that man is gonna get lucky -- again -- tonight!!)

[Swing*8701 887]

The post reads like a sexually repressed evangelical christian who has little knowledge of human sexuality except to want everyone to think like them and live in fear.

 

Or, someone who began reading this site and was overloaded at the level of free sexual expression and their only response was to write the maladaptive start of this thread. Ultimately, if a man wrote it , the flashbacks were probably of his wife having the time of her life

[babygirlntoyman 15]

I will say this...you must be 100% comfortable in your marriage, sexuality and more than that yourself in order to live this lifestyle!!!! I will admit there are some people out there who can't handle this lifestyle...but if you are one of the ones who can't handle it why criticize those of us who can and enjoy it very well!!! My husband and I know each other well enough to know if the other is uncomfortable with a situation and if that happens then there is NO PLAY...if all is good....9 times outta 10 it is DAMN GOOD!!!!!

 

I wish you all the best in your monogamous life and I will hope for the best in my swinger life!!

 

Look us up if you wanna give it another go round...lol!!!

 

Babygirl

[twobears 16]

I hope he or she will contact the board again and let us talk out what happen. A bad experience can hurt but not your marriage if you love one another,you can learn about yourself and your beloved mate if you talk this out. I have been there, we all have so don't worry about our marriages but your outlook at your own marriage, only you can help it recover or let it die and blame swinging, or get up and go talk to your mate and fix it!!! Good Luck on doing that!!