Ladies: Do you require a warning?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think I'm an oddball when it comes to this so I'm going to ask and find out just how odd.

 

Ladies, when you are giving a guy a blowjob do you require that he warn you first? If so, what do you do when he warns you he's about to come? Do you pull his dick out so that he doesn't come in your mouth? Keep sucking and swallow? Or something in between?

 

And the most important question... does your response differ when it's YOUR man vs someone you are swinging with?

[athena2910 17]

I think I'm an oddball when it comes to this so I'm going to ask and find out just how odd.

 

Ladies, when you are giving a guy a blowjob do you require that he warn you first? If so, what do you do when he warns you he's about to come? Do you pull his dick out so that he doesn't come in your mouth? Keep sucking and swallow? Or something in between?

 

And the most important question... does your response differ when it's YOUR man vs someone you are swinging with?

 

With my current lover (and for that matter, my past lovers) I can almost always tell when they're going to come, so no warning is necessary.

 

Sometimes I swallow and sometimes I don't. But I don't mind liking his cock after he's come, or letting him come on me. But I can't answer your most important question, since I'm not currently swinging. (But since I love to give bjs, I can't imagine I'd treat some other guy differently.)

 

Athena

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

Ladies, when you are giving a guy a blowjob do you require that he warn you first? If so, what do you do when he warns you he's about to come? Do you pull his dick out so that he doesn't come in your mouth? Keep sucking and swallow? Or something in between?

 

And the most important question... does your response differ when it's YOUR man vs someone you are swinging with?

I don't require it, but I've often asked him to tell me when he's about to come if I think it's going to happen soon. [if it's a longtime playpartner I know him well enough that either I don't have to ask anymore, or he knows enough to tell me.]

 

I like knowing when it's about to happen because it heightens my excitement. Coming in my mouth is no problem, so the only reason this would be brought up beforehand is if we want to discuss our preference for something else, since men often like to come on a women's breasts or face (which happened to me the first time recently and I still haven't decided what I think of that).

 

Swallowing is okay by me. If I would ever be repelled by the taste of his come I'd spit it out. But this has never been a problem.

 

My response is the same whether it's Mr LM or a playmate. The major difference is that I KNOW Mr LM so well that I know when he's about to come. Most playmates are hard for me to 'read' when they're about to come and this is why I ask them to tell me.

 

LM

[tribbles 490]

No warnings needed here but most do warn me. Guess someone trained them

 

I can tell with my hubby. I can tell with most guys but I don't care if they warn me cuz I most often keep sucking but let the cum dripple out of my mouth onto my hands to add more 'lube' that I keep stroking to the last second with.

 

S

[Amanda69 24]

Absolutely a warning.

 

One I have a strong gag reflex and contrary to what some believe a very small mouth.

 

Two I am I guess unusual in that I really don't like the taste of sperm so I prefer they do not come in my mouth. (my partner and I have come up with a great way to solve this by having oral sex in a shower, I can discretely let the cum come out of my mouth and still continue to suck him off)

 

Three I like when they come inside me (in a condom) as I love the feeling of the penis spasming inside of me.

 

I also find most men do give a warning.

[bear_and_babe 68]

I like it when a guy tells me he is getting ready to cum. I don't mind it in my mouth, but I don't swallow. To me it is like swallowing a big raw oyster! YUCK!! I usually just let it run down my hand and like another poster said just use it for more lube to keep stroking.

 

With Bear I can always tell when he is going to cum. I will sometimes swallow him if I know it is going to be a small load.

[JP51 40]

From the guy side, I always tell...give a warning...if just polite. That way the lady, even my wife can decide what she wants to do...sometimes is diffrent, sometimes she swallows, sometime I cum on her breasts etc...ditto with partners.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ok, this question came up from listening to an episode of Swingercast (I'm hooked I'll admit it). Now granted these guys aren't expert swingers or experts on swinging and everyone has their own opinion. But she said something and it got me thinking that maybe it is the case and I'm just so completely different that I hadn't ever realized it. Her statement was something to the affect that it was a major "faux pas" if a guy didn't warn the woman he was about to come and let her tell him what to do from there. Now, I know couples who are adament about being told simply because she doesn't like come in her mouth, doesn't swallow or that's something they save for each other, or whatever the reason... but I'd never heard it as an overall swinging no-no. Personally, I think it's just one of those things that should be discussed up front if a woman expects it.

[prettylady 221]

Ok here I go, I am about to show the green behind my ears AGAIN.

I am just getting use to letting my lover (Dog) know about what I want. I am just getting us to looking him in the eyes and saying yes babe I want to swing. I have never been with a man so open and honest, I am still a little gun shy about saying what I want.

Now, here is where I show my green.

Geez if only you guys could see how much I am stuggling getting this out.

OK, how do you say, hey I need you to tell me when you are going to cum.

is it over dinner at the resturant? Do you sit down at on the bed and say ok here are my hard limits, and soft limits.

I know in the end that setting limits is the only way to go. But when and how do you approach this topic?

Do my questions make sence?

What color does red(my face) and green(my ears) make. That is the shade of me right now.

You guys are the best and I know you wont laugh at me....well ok maybe you will, but I know you will answer my question honestly.

 

OH so sorry Julie, I robed you of your thread. I will post this in new swingers so my question can be answered there. Surrender

 

Your friend,

Prettylady

[tribbles 490]

I find the concept of swinging no-no's beyond the simple rules of: Ask before touching and no means no, very confusing.

 

We are already way outside the society norm to be swinging in the first place. Do we think we have to all fit in some swingers mold someone else created?

 

If I was into fitting into molds in society, would I dare to step outside of them to be a swinger?

 

Any special 'rules' or desires I want, I have learned to speak up about. Period.

 

I don't expect a 'norm' of behaviors or looks or even attitude. We are all doing this as individuals and everything about it will be how we want it, not some mold or 'norm' made by anyone else.

 

Julie,

Knowing your experience level and that it is still possible to wonder if how you like it 'fits' into what is 'normal' is a bit scary.

Do we ever quit trying to 'fit in'? Or wondering if we do?

 

(We know we don't fit in, so many that makes it easier for us to just do our own thing).

 

S

[TNT 1,155]

I had to think about this one as there are few times that the man coming through a blow job is the way I want the night to possibly end.

 

I don't "require" a warning, but one is definitely nice. There are times I swallow and times I don't want to swallow, it greatly depends on my mood at the time. A warning allows me to have a split second to assess how I feel at the moment and what I want...either swallow, swallow a little with the rest squirted on my face, pull back and continue with a hand-job with squirting on my chest or...stopping and taking a break or stopping and mounting my partner.

 

Ted always gives a warning...bascially because we enjoy bringing each other to the brink and then backing off, taking a breather and then continuing the play. I like Ted's warning (not that I really need one from him)...there are times I hear it and choose to totally ignore it and continue to completion as he has the loveliest smile on his face afterwards and calls me an evil wench

 

 

Teresa

[Shynquiet 16]

I think I'm an oddball when it comes to this so I'm going to ask and find out just how odd.

 

Ladies, when you are giving a guy a blowjob do you require that he warn you first? If so, what do you do when he warns you he's about to come? Do you pull his dick out so that he doesn't come in your mouth? Keep sucking and swallow? Or something in between?

 

And the most important question... does your response differ when it's YOUR man vs someone you are swinging with?

 

My personal opinion....

 

I like giving blowjobs, when I do give them I DO require warning. Even from my husband. With hubby, I wait until he's finished cumming before I swallow, but for everyone else, no exception, I will not swallow. He either has to pull out and cum else where or respect my decision to spit. If they do not respect my decision then that's the end of any play time.... period. There is no negotiation involved with it.

[Amanda69 24]

I find the concept of swinging no-no's beyond the simple rules of: Ask before touching and no means no, very confusing.

 

tribbles while I have some understanding of why you might find some things confusing I am hoping you are not refering to the two you quoted.

 

Some things translate from the vanilla world to the swinging world "ask before touching (unless you know me well enough not to have to) and "No Means No" are such things. These are basic concepts that demonstrate respect for singles and couples.

[xxoticangel 99]

I can honestly say that I have never been surprised by a guy cumming during oral. I love to give oral and always swallow but do appreciate the courtesy of a warning. Some guys will actually try to pull away.

[greaser13 16]

I know this was directed to the females but as a considerate male I always would notify my partners and let them decide what they wanted. I feel it would be well just rude.....

[Guest Annaiis]

Ladies, when you are giving a guy a blowjob do you require that he warn you first? If so, what do you do when he warns you he's about to come? ... And the most important question... does your response differ when it's YOUR man vs someone you are swinging with?

I always use a condom when giving a playpal a BJ (Avanti polyurethane - they have no latex taste, and they fit looser so they "slip" a bit, adding to the tactile sensations) so being warned isn't an issue .... with MY man, there's no condom use. He doesn't have to warn me when he's about to come because I can tell anyway. And when he does come, I don't "do" anything - I just keep on stroking him and sucking on him throughout his orgasm, swallowing and licking of every last drop 'til he cries "overload, overload!!" .

[mrs good times 73]

I always ask for a warning because, like Amanda, I have a very strong gag reflex. The warning gives me enough time to reposition the penis in my mouth so that the cum shoots into my cheek rather than the back of my throat and then I do swallow. facelick

[Tia Vampire 167]

I don't swallow either. I hate the taste of cum. Please warn me. if it goes in my mouth, just like the other lady, no more play time. Same for my man.

[MrsHidalgo 25]

I want it in my mouth, and YES, I DO prefer a warning. Something like "I'm about to CUM!!!!" is great. I always swallow. That's part of the reason I like to do oral. (I admit it....I'm a cum whore!) I just love the taste. Here's another twist.....Feeling him cum in my mouth usually makes ME cum! Anybody else have that reaction??

[Lumina 16]

I can usually tell when I guy is getting near, so I don't need warning. Plus, try as I might, I can't go very deep so gagging generally isn't a worry for me.

 

As for what I do, I expect it will be the same with a playpartner as with hubby and past boyfriends, which is to keep doing what I'm doing.

[starryeyes 23]

I require a warning!!! I don't swallow nor do I like the texture.... OYSTERS... yucko. Ok, now that is out of my system. I love to suck on a guy, get him to the brink, relax and do it all over again. I will let them cum on my chest sometimes in my hair, but not on my face. Although I hear it is very good for the skin. On extreme rare instances, I will close my lips and continue stroking till he cums or flick my tongue under the head till he cums. Both ways seem to work for me and my partner. Sorry didn't mean to make this a technique thread...

 

As for me WARNING WILL ROBINSON, WARNING!!

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I don't require a warning, but most guys do give it. I'm with Teresa though; I've not given too many blowjobs to completion, just because that's not how they wanted to cum. I'm fine with swallowing.

 

Pepper

[tribbles 490]

tribbles while I have some understanding of why you might find some things confusing I am hoping you are not refering to the two you quoted.

 

Some things translate from the vanilla world to the swinging world "ask before touching (unless you know me well enough not to have to) and "No Means No" are such things. These are basic concepts that demonstrate respect for singles and couples.

 

"Ask before touching" sounds easy right? In my experience, it only applies to males touching females.

 

"No means no" seems to work both with males and females but again, no has to be said often after the first touch. I've seen it tick off other non-bi females when a female touches without asking.

 

Oddly, those bent rules we got used to.

 

It still feels weird to have anyone say "Good grooming means:" and a list of what they think it is. (What? Playmates can name the perfume I outta wear for them? )How 'bout for ME it means "xyz". Or how a couple outta dress to play :rollseyes

 

Or here is one from a disagreement on another board: males masterbating. Even with a female by their side is a total NO-NO! Really? Since when? And the answers tend to be "well, seeing a guy with his cock in his hand is a turn off". My reply is "for who? Not for ME". facelick

 

It's not universal.

 

Which is why talking to anyone you may play with is so important. Especially if you want a warning before he cums or you hate something or love something. Name those things with everyone!!!

 

 

I will say that this board and a couple of others helped us a lot in the beginning. Just knowing there were people with no kiss rules helped. It may also be why we were shocked the first time a woman grabbed D and gave his tonsils a tickle. She didn't ask or even speak. She just went for it.

 

He loved it.

 

I'm still too scared to just grab some guy and do it.

 

S

[summitcouple 16]

Coming from a guy (no pun intended), I just think it is a question of respect. Just let her know your gonna cum. If she wants to take it in her mouth then great, on her tits, face wherever...great... and if she just makes an "ok" sound because she doesn't want to take it out of her mouth than by all means...."FIRE". But as far as I am conserned, if I am on the receiving end of a little oral pleasure, than I will abide by her rules.

 

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

Jim

[WildMiCouple 325]

LM, I've really never thought about it. I've always let Tammy know as I approach my orgasm. She enjoys swallowing, so it isn't a matter about warning her either..... more about letting her enjoy it with me. Guess I'm just the vocal type As far as warning a playmate, I'm sure I would....as again, it would let her enjoy it with me. But to be honest, I've never cum orally with a playmate.

 

OK, how do you say, hey I need you to tell me when you are going to cum.

is it over dinner at the resturant?

PrettyLady.....before or just as you start going down on him, let him know you'd really love to have him tell you whan he's about to cum . Any guy will be more than happy to let you know as the moment approaches

 

Brett

[Concupiscence 16]

My mother taught me that spitting wasn't ladylike

 

Actually, I enjoy the build up of the guy's orgasm and although I have never felt the need for a warning, I love hearing it. I HATE vomiting (yes, there is a point to that admission) so I have developed a great deal of control over my gag reflex.

The added benefit to this is that I can deep throat it when a guy comes. I would feel very put out if a guy pulled away from me during oral sex when I started to orgasm, so I enjoy reciprocating.

 

PrettyLady,

 

I would think that right before grabbing onto a penis is a good time to broach the subject.

[athena2910 17]

I want it in my mouth, and YES, I DO prefer a warning. Something like "I'm about to CUM!!!!" is great. I always swallow. That's part of the reason I like to do oral. (I admit it....I'm a cum whore!) I just love the taste. Here's another twist.....Feeling him cum in my mouth usually makes ME cum! Anybody else have that reaction??

 

I have come while giving a guy a blow job, but I don't think it's so much the taste of his cum, it's more of the total sexy feeling I usually have that giving a blow job gives me.

[prettylady 221]

I have never cum while giving head. But I do have a feeling of total satisfaction.

Picture it. My guy lay spent on the bed, I jump up hands on hips shouting "I did that".

I am so proud of me.

OK its not quite like that, but I do smile and feel great about making him feel so good.

Your friend,

Prettylady

[nhcpl1968 18]

I think I'm an oddball when it comes to this so I'm going to ask and find out just how odd.

 

Ladies, when you are giving a guy a blowjob do you require that he warn you first? If so, what do you do when he warns you he's about to come? Do you pull his dick out so that he doesn't come in your mouth? Keep sucking and swallow? Or something in between?

 

And the most important question... does your response differ when it's YOUR man vs someone you are swinging with?

 

 

 

 

I like my husband or other male too warn me and I rather swallow my husbands cum (sometime )most time I have my husband cum on my face or my breasts. Most time it's my breast ..................................................

When too comes with (other men ) I have them cum on my chest only..... Missy

[ohash01 20]

I missed a lot of fun threads while I was on vacation...

 

I usually require a warning. The first time in my life that I gave a blowjob and the guy came in my mouth, I spent the next 30 minutes getting that "am I gonna puke? yep...i am...no...i'm not gonna...WAIT...no..." feeling.

 

The taste/texture doesn't bother me at all...it's more the sudden shock of something splashing at a high velocity against the hangy ball in the back of my throat. Beware men: This is how you end up with teeth marks. Surprises make me bite down.

[SuAndBud 23]

We tend to go with the flow (pun intended).

 

Su prefers Bud (or anyone else for that matter to warn her).

 

When Bud reaches that point, he knows it's gonna feel good wherever it goes, but Su likes diversity.

 

The OP was talking BJ's, so the feet would be pretty awkward to get to, agreed? But it's really up to Su where she wants Bud to ejaculate. Sometimes she'll swallow him so it's past her tonsils. Sometimes in the mouth. Sometimes (rarely) on her face. Sometimes in her fingers (strange girl). Sometimes she just points it skywards and lets it land where it will (our own little fireworks display) which prompts the most giggles.

 

Only once has Bud not said he was cumming and that was because he knew he was close but not close enough yet to warn. Su was lying semi-prone on the lounge floor with her back to the couch whilst J was fucking her pussy and bud had one foot on the floor and his other knee on the couch and Su was deep throating him. As said, Bud was on the verge of telling Su that he was cumming when she came herself due to J's excertions. As she came, her mouth clamped around Bud's dick and something happened in her epiglotis or whatever that tickled Bud's penis and pushed Bud unexpectedly over the edge and he came without her having to taste a bit of it. Su was by now bucking at both ends her pussy bucked to suck J in deeper while her head bucked to expel Bud from her throat.

 

Bud was concerned that he'd A) Potentially drowned Su & B) not told her that he was cumming. Su thought it was hysterical but also stated that she would not be in a hurry to repeat it.

[mami 16]

My guy kindly lets me know although I always swallow....but it's nice to know when it's coming, because then I do something at the end that makes him come out of his skin. If you don't want to swallow though, don't....it's your decision...however if your not into the guy emotionally, then swallowing is something I wouldn't do personally...I just think that's a personal thing!

[Shemurmurs 36]

I don't require a warning. I generally try in tune with my partners and am reading their reactions to what I am doing. I've had a play partner give me a warning and found it slightly distracting but not bad. I love the power of bringing someone to orgasm regardless of method so a warning for me feels a little too planned.

[leecny 23]

I appreciate a guy being a gentleman and warning me but I can almost always tell anyway and don't require a warning. I enjoy showing off a little by swallowing every drop and I love when I find a guy who tells me he's never had a woman swallow all of his cum before, very erotic.

[EastInWest 1,524]

In general, with us, it depends on who is dominating the encounter. If Mrs. EastInWest is in control - and she has been the times we've played with anyone - she likes the feedback so she can make some decisions. Not to spit, just to be ready to swallow or whatever else.

 

Just as often, if I'm going to finish in her mouth, it's part of a little submissive play on her part and she won't be warned, I'll just guide her to what I want.

[intuition897 2,179]

I don't require a warning, making my partner cum is kind of the point. It's unnecessary to warn me anyway as I can usually tell.

[Sophy 569]

Most of the time I can tell when my play-partner is about to cum, so I slow down and try to maximize his orgasm with a slow-paced.

We do not use condoms for oral and most of the time I swallow, other ladies prefer to spit but I find that a little bit ... "rude" or "unfeminine" for a lady.

My technique is not to wait for them to finish inside my mouth and then try to swallow a full load -> that can be hard, instead I swallow it slowly as it happens in small portions. This is specially important if a particular guy is a heavy cummer.

[Guest]

A warning would have been nice on those first few at 15 or 16 but at this point in my life, I am able to tell when a guy is about to cum. To me, that’s part of the experience. Don’t get me wrong, I do prefer sucking as part of the path to fucking, but giving a blow job gives a girl a great deal of control, understanding and enhancing the build up. More times than not, I swallow. I think it heightens the experience for all involved, provides for a shortened “taste time” and allows me to continue to suck after his orgasm.

[PSULioness 857]

Love this site and the questions you ask. Like the answer above times changed for me. My first bj was scary enough. I knew what to do but taking a dick in my mouth, I must have been in love. I think I was just kissing it and licking it then he sort put it deeper in my mouth. Think he was sliding it in and out more than me going up and down. The warning was the OH FUCK as he held my head. So my first bj was him cumming in my mouth and me choking and gagging and spitting after he finished. He joked it was coming out my nose. After that I told him if he did that again it would be the last time. The next time he came on my sweater. In the few months we dated I gave in and he would rather have sex than a bj. Over time I learned the telltale signs most guys give. I also learned that a fountain of cum could be messy. I have never told a guy to tell me but some will on their own.

[Guest]

sorry, already commented on this one

[Fi86 78]

I can't stand cum in my mouth. So yes I need warning, and I pull it out so he cums on my face or boobs.