Are singles really swinging?

[magnum 78]

I was talking to a female friend of mine about swinging, one of the few friends that knows that I play with others , she had told me that I am not really a swinger because I am single.

 

If I was married or with a GF that was into swinging, then I would be "swinging".

 

What is your opinon on this?

 

Magnum

 

PS; I currently have a new gf, she knows that I have played with others; MFM, in the past, but she is not ready at this point to start swinging.

[JTcamp05 9]

Think you would be a swinger if your partner would "swing" with you. Otherwise well your just an.................extra.

 

 

Sorry it canot be the same, the whole point of "swinging" is it involved two people in a relationship. I am not much for lables but you cant call yourself something your not.

[Dynamar 246]

Sorry it canot be the same, the whole point of "swinging" is it involved two people in a relationship. I am not much for lables but you cant call yourself something your not.

I politely and respectfully call bullshit! For one thing... the term swinging single had to come from somewhere. And for another... lots of couples seek to play with singles, whether male or female... how can they term themselves swingers and not those who they would practice this hobby with?

 

Geesh! This whole topic gets my goat faster than just about any other one thing that is discussed here. Get off of your high horses, coupled people!

[JTcamp05 9]

ok...... the dynamic is not the same when your singel as if you were in a couple.... "High horse"...... give me a break....... its just not the same, i'm not in any way against singles participating....but the dynamics are not the same as a couple.

 

 

So your single and you wish to participate..... thats great......now your actions and choice only effect you......now when a couple swings each partners actions and choices effect the other. How can you say you are equal?

 

Many couples myself included do not object and even sometimes prefer to swing with singles....... but with all due respect I consider the couples the swingers not the singles.

 

I would think it to be different if you were in a polly relationship, then of course you bring more in tearms of emotional attachment to the table, but to just be involved for the physical side of things...your just an accessory.

[gatorvol64 216]

Labels...they can be such bad things.

 

Speaking as a couple who consider themselves swingers and regularly plays with single men...yeah, we consider you a swinger too.

 

"...your just an accessory" Have to say that isn't how we have ever thought of the single men we've been with (and we've never seen a man just once either).

 

I may get really blasted about this but, I just do not see how you being single makes a difference. I see swinging more as an attitude than anything else.

 

Are you happy? Are the couples you are with happy? What is in a label anyway? Just have some fun!

 

Vol

[Dynamar 246]

ok...... the dynamic is not the same when your singel as if you were in a couple.... "High horse"...... give me a break....... its just not the same, i'm not in any way against singles participating....but the dynamics are not the same as a couple.

I never said the dynamics were the same with singles as with couples. (And yes, I've done both.) The question was: Are singles swingers? Your answer was 'no', mine was 'yes.'

So your single and you wish to participate..... thats great......now your actions and choice only effect you......now when a couple swings each partners actions and choices effect the other. How can you say you are equal?

Equal to what??? Swinging is recreational sex among adults... any adults. Whether or not you're "coupled" has nothing, whatsoever, to do with it. Now... perhaps if the OP asked something about swapping... then you'd have a point. All swappers are swingers, but not all swingers are swappers, and I never said they were.

Many couples myself included do not object and even sometimes prefer to swing with singles....... but with all due respect I consider the couples the swingers not the singles.

Oh boy! Thanks for "not objecting" to the fact that I can have recreational sex. I'm such a lucky girl!!!

I would think it to be different if you were in a polly relationship, then of course you bring more in tearms of emotional attachment to the table,

Again... nothing about swinging as an activity necessarily has to do with emotional attachment or lack thereof.

but to just be involved for the physical side of things...your just an accessory.

An accessory? You've just crossed the line. And, to think, you said you were bringing "due respect". Except... you know... not.

 

ETA: Thanks for your post, gatorvol

[good times 991]

Well, under in my style of swinging, singles are not swingers. Why, you ask? Simply because we rarely, hardly ever, swing with singles. So, for us, the only swingers we are interested in are other couples, no matter what anyone wants to call themselves. But lets not kid ourselves, their are many different definitions of swinging, and my definition is not the only one, in fact, it probably isn't even in the top five. You will find with a bit of searching that this is a popular enough topic around here to almost be in the catagory of "beating the dead horse", but it still appears to me that swinging is what the individual participants think it is. In other words, if you are single and consider yourself a swinger, that is fine by me. Likewise, if you are a couple and consider singles swinger, that is fine too. Why would I care, in the end how you define swinging has little to no impact on me personally? I mean really, what difference does it make if singles are considered swingers or not? Do you think the couples who enjoy playing with singles or the singles who enjoy playing with couples are suddenly going to stop what they are doing because someone here decided that singles aren't really swingers? I wouldn't bet on it.

[curiousagain 326]

You will find with a bit of searching that this is a popular enough topic around here to almost be in the catagory of "beating the dead horse",....

 

[Dooode 18]

Oh gawd. Here we go again!

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I would think that what matters more than what someone calls you is whether they call you when they want to have a good time.

 

Pepper

[JTcamp05 9]

Cute pepper.............Guess that says it all doesn't it.....

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Well, under in my style of swinging, singles are not swingers. Why, you ask? Simply because we rarely, hardly ever, swing with singles. So, for us, the only swingers we are interested in are other couples, no matter what anyone wants to call themselves. But lets not kid ourselves, their are many different definitions of swinging, and my definition is not the only one, in fact, it probably isn't even in the top five. You will find with a bit of searching that this is a popular enough topic around here to almost be in the catagory of "beating the dead horse", but it still appears to me that swinging is what the individual participants think it is. In other words, if you are single and consider yourself a swinger, that is fine by me. Likewise, if you are a couple and consider singles swinger, that is fine too. Why would I care, in the end how you define swinging has little to no impact on me personally? I mean really, what difference does it make if singles are considered swingers or not? Do you think the couples who enjoy playing with singles or the singles who enjoy playing with couples are suddenly going to stop what they are doing because someone here decided that singles aren't really swingers? I wouldn't bet on it.

 

Dito . . . We feel the same way too. It's nice to know there are extras available when we as a couple want to act on a fantasy. Some fantasies only need one but most of our fantasies revolve around couples/swingers.

[lovinher 505]

They are Swingles. That word just don't look right

[Dynamar 246]

If my friend is a die-hard bowler... practices every day, plays in three leagues, has the goal of playing in the PBA, and I bowl with friends three times a year for fun... guess what? It's still bowling.

 

And if the local TV station was filming outside of my local swing club and I happen to make it on videotape, I'd have a pretty difficult time trying to tell my family, friends (well... scratch the friends... they already all know), and neighbors that I wasn't a swinger, now wouldn't I?

[WesternSwing 504]

swing·er Pronunciation (swngr)

n.

1. One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.

2. Slang

a. A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.

b. A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.

c. A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.

 

According to the dictionary it would seem there are several definitions to "swinger". Under 2b you would be considered a swinger whether you played with couples or not if you were sleeping around quite bit.

 

Under definition 2c you'd not be a swinger.

 

Personally, if you were truly involved in the lifestyle for a real period of time (not just a flash-in-the-pan), attending parties, going to clubs, being a third with couples on a regular basis, I would consider you a "swinger" under definition 2c, even though you are not a couple.

 

Mr. WS

[Alura 2,775]

I think the problem with deciding whether or not a single can be a swinger arose at the time the term "wife-swapping" was phased out in favor of "swinging," which is, perhaps, a more palatable term for many.

 

Back when our sport was called "wife-swapping" I never heard anyone argue that a single could be a "wife-swapper."

 

Mr. Alura

[eatscherry 15]

Alot of couples (most of them ) are tring to change the rules so they can wife-swap and not be bothered by single guy's or there own hing-up's . Look, swinging is being open with sex with other people that want more orgasoms in diffrent ways . If your hiding it from the person your seeing ......your not a swinger. If you come home and your woman is doing two guys and maybe some women and she just say's "Come on and put your dick in my throat"....your a swinger . As I'v said to people before , it's about being open and honest about sex and friendship .

[telly2 15]

i think you are, this is insane, so many have a complex, if you are with another couple who seeked you out than you are swinging.

[Guest MrsVan]

swing·er Pronunciation (swngr)

n.

1. One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.

2. Slang

a. A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.

b. A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.

c. A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.

 

According to the dictionary it would seem there are several definitions to "swinger". Under 2b you would be considered a swinger whether you played with couples or not if you were sleeping around quite bit.

 

Under definition 2c you'd not be a swinger.

 

Personally, if you were truly involved in the lifestyle for a real period of time (not just a flash-in-the-pan), attending parties, going to clubs, being a third with couples on a regular basis, I would consider you a "swinger" under definition 2c, even though you are not a couple.

 

Mr. WS

 

 

I have to agree with Mr. WS in the fact that the definition above is what I would have based my answer on as 2a and 2b would fit anyone that is a single in the lifestyle. When I look at singles it depends on how they act within the lifestle that make me think that they are a swinger. There are some singles out there that you just know by their profiles, the way they contact you and the way that they treat the couple that they are not swingers. They are passer by's looking for fast pussy.

 

Those singles who know their place within a 3some, have total respect for the couple and the woman whom they are about to play with would be in my mind a swinger because they have been in the lifestyle enough to know what they are there for and what the couples are looking for.

 

So yes I would consider you a swinger if you knew how to play the game. If you were one that I met and you were completely disrespectful to me and my relationship with my husband, then I would think that you just figured that getting into the lifestyle would guarantee fast pussy. Yes we are all here for sex and to be with others, but come on do we have to be disrespectful?

 

Just my 2 cents....

 

MrsVan

[flkeyscouple 21]

So yes I would consider you a swinger if you knew how to play the game. If you were one that I met and you were completely disrespectful to me and my relationship with my husband, then I would think that you just figured that getting into the lifestyle would guarantee fast pussy. Yes we are all here for sex and to be with others, but come on do we have to be disrespectful?

Very well said!

 

Sarah

[redlinemi 15]

Swinging is recreational sex among adults... any adults. Whether or not you're "coupled" has nothing, whatsoever, to do with it.

 

I have to agree dynamar. Swinging is swinging. Swinging is more relative to recreational, active and promiscuous sex... single or not.

 

Bottom line, if the label is important, you are in fact a swinger.

[Tybee Swing 286]

I have to agree with Mr. WS in the fact that the definition above is what I would have based my answer on as 2a and 2b would fit anyone that is a single in the lifestyle. When I look at singles it depends on how they act within the lifestle that make me think that they are a swinger. There are some singles out there that you just know by their profiles, the way they contact you and the way that they treat the couple that they are not swingers. They are passer by's looking for fast pussy.

 

Those singles who know their place within a 3some, have total respect for the couple and the woman whom they are about to play with would be in my mind a swinger because they have been in the lifestyle enough to know what they are there for and what the couples are looking for.

 

So yes I would consider you a swinger if you knew how to play the game. If you were one that I met and you were completely disrespectful to me and my relationship with my husband, then I would think that you just figured that getting into the lifestyle would guarantee fast pussy. Yes we are all here for sex and to be with others, but come on do we have to be disrespectful?

 

Just my 2 cents....

 

MrsVan

 

Based on Mrs Van's definition, including respectful and knowledgable singles into the swinger fold but excluding those who are just passing by to get a quick f:

 

I would actually exclude a number of couples from being called swingers. They might fit the definition other people have given in this thread, because they participate as a pair. But they may be very disrespectful and not have a clue what this is all about.

 

Some here have said that a single they play with is just an accessory. That sounds like they might as well be a strap-on or some other kind of inanimate toy. When we swing with singles, they're not just an accessory or an appendage to us. They are a third person, just as equal in the activity as the two of us are, and just as valuable to the success of the fun we're having. We are three individuals who all add an element to what we are doing, together. We have a lot of respect for our playmates, whether they're single or a couple - and we expect the same in return.

[Chicup 42]

Alot of couples (most of them ) are tring to change the rules so they can wife-swap and not be bothered by single guy's or there own hing-up's . Look, swinging is being open with sex with other people that want more orgasoms in diffrent ways . If your hiding it from the person your seeing ......your not a swinger. If you come home and your woman is doing two guys and maybe some women and she just say's "Come on and put your dick in my throat"....your a swinger . As I'v said to people before , it's about being open and honest about sex and friendship .

 

[Guest MrsVan]

Some here have said that a single they play with is just an accessory. That sounds like they might as well be a strap-on or some other kind of inanimate toy. When we swing with singles, they're not just an accessory or an appendage to us. They are a third person, just as equal in the activity as the two of us are, and just as valuable to the success of the fun we're having. We are three individuals who all add an element to what we are doing, together. We have a lot of respect for our playmates, whether they're single or a couple - and we expect the same in return.

 

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

 

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

 

MrsVan

[Chicup 42]

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

 

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

 

MrsVan

 

Having been the extra M in countless threesomes with some friends, I am an 'accessory' when it comes to the sex part. They might be great friends of mine, they respect me, but I'm there for their enjoyment more than my own. I am a swinger in an MFM but only when the F is my wife. Its a totally different experiance doing one or the other and when I'm the extra M I am just having sex with a friend.

[Tybee Swing 286]

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

 

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

 

MrsVan

We have the same regard for our single swing friends as we do our couple friends.

[eatscherry 15]

I think alot of you for saying what you are , but do any of you swing with a single just because or would mind if your women went to a orgy or your man liked being with a girl that was just......different?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Swinging is different things for different people. Each couple (or single) has their own rules for what they are comfortable with, just because someone else doesn't play by those rules doesn't mean that that person isn't a swinger. That said, each person (or couple) has to deal with the rules of others, and if they don't want to deal with those rules then they don't play together. Everyone swings for different reasons and just because someone else's reasons aren't the same as yours doesn't mean you are better than they or that they are not a swinger.

 

Yes, swinging is about recreational sex, wife-swapping is just one facet of swinging, along with so many other facets that I won't even start to name because there's no way I can name them all.

[ShellyM 0]

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

 

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

 

MrsVan

 

I'm riding the fence on this one. I absolutely agree with Mrs. V that no human being is ever a piece of property, a toy you play with and then discard of......this is how Jay feels when the single guys act like he is in their way. OUCH.

 

However, I also read Chicup's post, and have to admit that I agree. The single person in there primarily (now of course, all couples are different) for the enjoyment of the couple. He or she is an enhancement. It seems that most, NOT ALL before I get flamed, 3somes are geared towards pleasing the lady of the 3some. And this is great, I see no problem with it. But the 3rd person is, in my book, there to be an enhancement. Different from 2 couples to me.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here--

 

This is like a friend of mine who explained he was a Christian to another person. He was then told he was the wrong type of Christian and it didn't count.

 

The truth is, group sex is group sex. If you're single, you're swinging. If you're married, you both must be involved or it's cheating.

 

It always cracks me up how a sub group, like Swingers, break themselves into more subgroups and try to exclude others.

 

I don't think when I was single and playing with a married couple and I was going down on the woman while her husband was fucking me into next week from behind (and me loving it-by golly) that if we stopped time to ask them if I was a Swinger, that they'd say,"Oh no, this doesn't count."

[Tybee Swing 286]

The single person in there primarily (now of course, all couples are different) for the enjoyment of the couple. He or she is an enhancement. It seems that most, NOT ALL before I get flamed, 3somes are geared towards pleasing the lady of the 3some. And this is great, I see no problem with it. But the 3rd person is, in my book, there to be an enhancement. Different from 2 couples to me.

 

Just going by the word "enhancement", as in, alter, raise, heighten, and intensify an experience (Webster's definition) -

Whether our playmates are a single or a couple they are all enhancements to what we already have. So again, they're not exclusive to us in this respect. As a couple (us), a couple may enhance our experience. As a couple, a single may enhance our experience. Equal to us in that regard.