Jump to content
CanadianCouple

The body beautiful? Tired of seeing "HWP" in ads

Recommended Posts

Dan/ala Canadian Couple,

 

Half the fun is reading one's post way too fast, reading into it without really paying attention, then creating ten different interpretations, then debating them all! lol. I am ALWAYS guilty of it, but hey, IT"S FUN! hehe....

 

If a persons different race was an impediment, I agree that tact is crucial. I would prefer to eat a buzzard then to put myself in a position to exclude someone based upon race. It is like kicking out the cane from under a blind man, or hitting a puppy. Some things a decent person just does not do.As to the weight issue, if I were to run an ad, i would say in shape healthy people desired, rather than no fat chicks, which is crass.

 

In swing clubs, if a women or couple has approached me that I don't wish to be with, my tactic is to say that I just got finished and am recuperating and smile warmly. I try to preempt that by having eye contacts and warm smiles to people who interest me, you know, a tad bit of flirtation.

Share this post


Link to post

TheSexMonsters Wrote:

 

For us, it's not that we automatically exclude anyone that is of a certain weight, ethnicity, etc.

 

Automatically excluding someone on the basis of weight (or any other physical characteristic, for that matter), is really more a limitation using ads to meet people than anything else. If you meet someone in a night club, you know with just a quick look over whether or not you find them attractive, and it doesn't make any difference what their exact weight is. In an ad (especially one on the internet) you're contacting a much larger group of people (which is a good thing) whose attractiveness you can't asess quickly (which is a bad thing). Unless you have to time for a face-to-face with everyone who responds, you need to have some method for winnowing out the flock a bit, and weight as a rough measure of physical attractivness is probably about as good a measure as any. It's certainly not perfect (no such criteria is), but I don't think that you need feel bad about automatically excluding someone on that basis - any more than an employer need feel bad about specifying a minimumm of 10 years experience in an ad for a job, and then not interviewing anyone who doesn't have at least that much.

Share this post


Link to post

I think as long as you are upfront about your appearance - you shouldn't have problems with people being rude to you. However, it is probably true that a fit couple is more likely to look for another couple that is fit as well.

 

There are site and parties for BBWs that many couples enjoy. Look them up!

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by BayCouples.com

I think as long as you are upfront about your appearance - you shouldn't have problems with people being rude to you.

 

Likely not, however many of the ads are themselves written in a very crass way. Some examples have been listed earlier in this thread.

 

However, it is probably true that a fit couple is more likely to look for another couple that is fit as well.

 

Our point exactly. The question is WHY??

 

There are site and parties for BBWs that many couples enjoy. Look them up!

 

We have. Unfortunately, none pertain to our area. We'd have no qualms at all with only swinging with overweight, BB couples only for the rest of our sexual lives, but the limitations stated in the majority of ads severely curtail our potential partners right across the board.

 

Yet another nugget seen in a Swappernet ad this evening.

 

"No overweight people who don't own mirrors."

 

Now, were those last four words really necessary? You tell me.

 

Dan

Share this post


Link to post

One last thought before turning in (wife's long since there) -

 

I think we'd all agree swinging is one of those sub-cultures in our society that defines a specific interest group. Agreed? And one of the main objectives of these groups, aside from finding hopefully like-minded people, is to expand that base as much as possible. To get the message out to interested people who may not otherwise be aware there are others out there with the same desires and fantasies.

 

By continuing to propagate the notion that swinging is only for the young and beautiful, how many interested people who don't fit into that catagory are discouraged from ever taking the plunge by reading ad after ad that specifically says they're not wanted?

 

Just a thought.

 

Dan

Share this post


Link to post

Dan,

 

I am curious, are you basing your opinion on the ads you are seeing off of one site in general or several? Also, are you just looking at ads for your local area?

 

While I agree with your overall views, I am just wondering if it isn't something geographical, as well as a mindset. You know kind of like if you live in *Hollywood* let's say, and if you aren't one of the *beautiful* people then you aren't given a second glance.

 

Hope that made sense.

 

Lori

Share this post


Link to post

Personally, I find it easier to screen if people put what they don't want right up front. Lots of people eliminate us based on age alone. But thats ok, at least we don't have to go through the trouble of e-mails that lead nowhere.

 

Also, don't forget about the overwhelmingly huge number of pic seekers online. I'd bet that a great majority of them place adds that would imply no overweight or older people. And there are tons of them. John.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest everlast
Quote
Originally posted by michigancouple

Also, don't forget about the overwhelmingly huge number of pic seekers online. I'd bet that a great majority of them place adds that would imply no overweight or older people. And there are tons of them. John.

 

What's up with those people anyway? Are there not enough porn sites on the net for them? That's one thing I guess I haven't figured out yet :confused:

 

Well, that and just about everything else :D

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally posted by OhioCouple

Dan,

 

I am curious, are you basing your opinion on the ads you are seeing off of one site in general or several? Also, are you just looking at ads for your local area?

 

While I agree with your overall views, I am just wondering if it isn't something geographical, as well as a mindset. You know kind of like if you live in *Hollywood* let's say, and if you aren't one of the *beautiful* people then you aren't given a second glance.

 

Hope that made sense.

 

Actually, I've noticed the cliqish tone in ads on just about every swinging site out there we've been in, but the examples I've used in this thread have all come from Swappernet. Perhaps it's just me, but Swappernet seems particularly bad for this sort of thing, possibly because each ad specifically asks what type of people you do and don't want to meet. Usually that's where you'll see the "no overweight need apply" comments. It doesn't seem to be geographical, choose any state and it's the same thing.

 

Unfortunately with this crowd, if you aren't one of the "beautiful people", you aren't even given a first chance.

 

Share this post


Link to post

While this has been discussed many times I find it will always bring more in-depth answers every time according to how the first statement is worded and how the conversation goes. Many times I am contacted by someone only to be asked right away for my pic .I will not do this, instead I suggest we chat and get to know each other a bit. If the pic question is immediately re-asked, I block these people and do not bother to go on with them. I want to get some info before I even care what a person looks like. If I can't know what makes you tick in this lifestyle I am not going to touch you in a million years.

 

Second if you can't make me laugh you are not going to be having a long conversation either. I am a very mental person (in more ways then one) and if you are lacking in the head dept then it is a no-go so don't even bother asking for the pic. I have had pics stolen and sent to friends (can you believe it?) with the person stating they were of his wife! LOL..good thing my taste in lingerie is so distinct. The ruse was spotted immediately and we no longer show pics as freely unless we have determined the couple is a serious contender and many times we go on cam so we don't have to worry about pics and such and then they can make their decision from that.

 

However, many times if I have made up my mind to meet them the only thing that stops it is finding out that we were lied to. HWP means nothing to me as I have met some HWP people and almost laughed my but off as their idea of HWP is nowhere near anyone else's! I find that attitude rude and if anything it limits the people responding because as a SO to a photographer you will find some of the most attractive fit people do not consider themselves HWP the way they think it is supposed to mean so where does that land the HWP people? I don't know.

 

An

Share this post


Link to post

Actually, anyone can take a screenshot from a web cam image and get your picture that way, so you're not really protected that way. Of course, the quality of many of those images are going to be fairly crappy anyway...

Share this post


Link to post

Yes I know that..however a web catch from a cam as opposed to pro shots is a huge difference to us...LOL so we did not appreciate the theft.

 

An

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By TeamCalgary
      Hello all. 
       
      We have been engaged in the LS since Sept 2019 and have noticed a pattern in our activity; curious whether this mirrors that of many of you. 
       
      When we first began, we meet folks usually online, and occasionally in a social setting.  Initially, our goal to gain a face to face meeting with the potential couple; a coffee, a drink, whatever. Looking back on it, we likely met with too many couples who were not good fits. 
       
      Now, our goal is to ascertain the "fit" earlier in the process, so that we meet fewer couples, but the ones that we do meet are, in theory at least, ideally better fits for us. 
       
      Peeling back the onion on this, it appears that we have gotten better at asking some of the dealbreaker questions upfront
      (condom use, drug use, PnP, same room, play together,  etc) that would help to stratify best fit earlier in the process, long before we ever potentially meet.
       
      Red flags are also coming into play as we are now more aware of what some of these things are and how they influence what works for us, and what doesn't. 
       
      For those of you who have extensive experience in the LS, we would welcome your comments in terms of how you ascertain "fit". Is it a process or a particular step; certain questions upfront, etc?
       
      Many thanks.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
    • By Miss Sunshine
      i may be considered a snob but I like to see and lick a pussy that doesn't have too much hanging labia (gets in the way). I like a bigger clit, one you can suck on, mmmmm. I had an experience with another lady once that when she was aroused, her clit swelled to the point it looked like a very small cock, we rubbed pussies together and I could actually feel some penetration, it was very nice to suck.
       
      Cocks, I need them circumsized, sorry. size doesn't matter but once in awhile I love to run into a huge one.
       
      Don't get me wrong, I have had different shapes and sizes, cut and uncut, I am just saying what my preference is.
       
      Cleanliness, there have been a few people who haven't been clean and it was not nice and I left them standing.
       
      What about you all?
    • By NotnewNotpros
      As a couple we are somewhere in between swinging and poly. I don’t need full on love but enjoy the playfulness of the “crush” and boyfriend/girlfriend crush feelings.
       
      We are slowly proceeding with this with a new couple. Who is also new to the LS. We’ve been there in the past and really enjoyed this type of thing.
       
      My “issue” is that the female is very playful and chatty. But her and my husband talk more sexy and more often than she and I do. It doesn’t make me jealous at all, I just would love it too!! The male half is great in person but the chatting and flirting has really slowed down since we’ve played a few times. He seems to be cautious when it comes to sexting. So much fun for my husband and I feel like a little blah...bland. I just want a little more fun and excitement (chat wise) considering we aren’t able to see each other often. She and I can hang out but they want to stick to the “rule of 3” for now.
       
      So it’s hard to get to know him more without having some alone time and minimal (slightly bland) chat.
       
      We really like them and it’s been a long time since we’ve found such good 4 way chemistry.
       
      Any advice? And how often do you chat and what is your expectations?
    • By sunbuckus
      I have heard from several members here that the more they get to know a couple, the less they want to have sex with them. Maybe we just haven't been fortunate enough to get to know a couple that well that it reaches that point or maybe I'm not wired that way. Or perhaps there's something else in play (like maybe they meant in terms of seeing them pick their nose or exhibit an unbecoming personality trait). However, for myself, I have found that the more we talk and get to know a couple, the more comfortable I feel with them and I'm more interested in engaging with them in sex. In fact, finding more about other couples almost endears them to me. I know that sounds too intimate but the more I get to know a person, the more I care about them as a person and their well-being. Even if we witness something that is a turn-off, it's even more of a reminder to me that they aren't perfect...not some unattainable, flawless couple who sits on their lofty pedestal.
       
      Is this feeling felt more in those who are open to poly or is it not poly-specific? Is the desire of not wanting to know too much about another couple a "protective barrier" so feelings won't develop? Is it just the mindset that swinging is for sex and nothing else so everything outside of that is irrelevant? Or am I just looking too much into this? Please share your thoughts on the matter!
×
×
  • Create New...