Stood Up, and I"M playing a game?

[LOL_OMG 130]

One thing that we have noticed is that lately more of the people we have met do things at the spur of the moment. That's usually not our style so needless to say we have not gotten together recently. we understand life getting in the way sometimes but it still puzzles us that so many people are having trouble making plans and keeping them.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

One thing that we have noticed is that lately more of the people we have met do things at the spur of the moment. That's usually not our style so needless to say we have not gotten together recently. we understand life getting in the way sometimes but it still puzzles us that so many people are having trouble making plans and keeping them.

 

We have kids. There was a thread recently about this, and concerns couples without children have in playing with couples that do, and vice versa. The reality for us with kids is that we can't spontaneously drop everything and go. We have to plan in advance.

 

We've received several offers inviting us to spur of the moment meet ups. We've politely declined them all. On the other side of that, any date that we set up to meet and/or play, we keep it.

[rpu3 630]

The reality for us with kids is that we can't spontaneously drop everything and go. We have to plan in advance.

 

That same reality exists even for those of us without children. Just because I'm childfree by choice doesn't mean I can just drop everything and go out, either.

 

The fact is that some of us just like having plans and schedules for whatever reason. I have to have a schedule or plans in place in advance in order to make sure my obligations at work, home, family and friends are met. I'm committed to meeting the expectations and obligations I take on and I can't do that without a good schedule and without proper advance planning.

 

While I could occasionally just do something spur of the moment, it's not in my nature and not my preference. I know there are a lot of others like me, child free or with children.

[The Fuse 1,012]

That same reality exists even for those of us without children. Just because I'm childfree by choice doesn't mean I can just drop everything and go out, either.

 

The fact is that some of us just like having plans and schedules for whatever reason. I have to have a schedule or plans in place in advance in order to make sure my obligations at work, home, family and friends are met. I'm committed to meeting the expectations and obligations I take on and I can't do that without a good schedule and without proper advance planning.

 

While I could occasionally just do something spur of the moment, it's not in my nature and not my preference. I know there are a lot of others like me, child free or with children.

Yes, yes, yes! We like having plans. It's partly temperament, partly circumstances (no swing club open every weekend and not too many other fun things to do around here), and partly that we like the anticipation!

 

If there's someone we're interested in, or current friends, we get a warm glowy (okay, wet) feeling knowing that we will see them on a certain day. The activity doesn't have to be known in advance. Just the expectation of good company.

 

I can also make sure I'm prepared with all the right girly preps (paint my nails, pluck my eyebrows, give myself a good shave, and the gray roots covered ). Not to mention having whatever I want to wear in a clean condition. All of that stuff takes effort and time. I don't keep everything "done" all the time, but when we have a date, I think they appreciate if I've made the effort.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Ok, allow me to rephrase while I try to digest my toes.

 

I don't mean to suggest that childfree couples are willy nilly do whatever they want whenever they want, and it's good and easy. I'm just saying that scheduling is easier when you don't have kids in the mix. Having spent considerable time as an adult without kids, I've seen it from both sides of the coin. At home, it amazes me that it can take up to two hours to get out the door from the time we decide to leave. Before kids, a fraction of that.

 

And merging posts with another response to something above (since this additional response is short).

 

I hope your meeting with your man friend comes off OK. Let us all know.

 

Fail. He dropped the ball again. He's toast.

[sweet_tna 680]

Ok, allow me to rephrase while I try to digest my toes.

 

I don't mean to suggest that childfree couples are willy nilly do whatever they want whenever they want, and it's good and easy. I'm just saying that scheduling is easier when you don't have kids in the mix. Having spent considerable time as an adult without kids, I've seen it from both sides of the coin. At home, it amazes me that it can take up to two hours to get out the door from the time we decide to leave. Before kids, a fraction of that.

 

And merging posts with another response to something above (since this additional response is short).

 

 

 

Fail. He dropped the ball again. He's toast.

 

If it makes you feel better, I knew what you meant. We have kids, and one of our regular play couples is childless. We've found that THEIR schedules are just as tricky as ours to work around.

 

And I'm sorry to hear the flaky guy bailed again. HIS LOSS!!!

[The Fuse 1,012]

Ok, allow me to rephrase while I try to digest my toes.

 

I don't mean to suggest that childfree couples are willy nilly do whatever they want whenever they want, and it's good and easy. I'm just saying that scheduling is easier when you don't have kids in the mix. Having spent considerable time as an adult without kids, I've seen it from both sides of the coin. At home, it amazes me that it can take up to two hours to get out the door from the time we decide to leave. Before kids, a fraction of that.

Yes, I have no quarrel with saying that spontaneity is easier for people who don't have kids. That is surely very true. I don't think you put your foot in your mouth at all. Just that we like to have plans even though we don't have kids.

 

And merging posts with another response to something above (since this additional response is short).

 

 

 

Fail. He dropped the ball again. He's toast.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you find a good playmate soon.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Sweet and Fuse, thanks for adding some delectable sauce to the toes I feel a bit better now.

 

I know singles and child free couples can have tricky schedules too. A dear friend of mine is child free by choice and married. Trying to get time with her (vanilla) is difficult, at best, even for a phone call or e-mail sometimes.

 

And I'm sorry to hear the flaky guy bailed again. HIS LOSS!!!

 

Sorry to hear that. I hope you find a good playmate soon.

 

He doesn't know he's toast yet, as we've not contacted him. We won't make the effort though; if he contacts us, then fine. But, I think he'll realize his loss. Single males don't get all that many opportunities. He really liked my wife, and said as much after the meet and greet.

 

We've got another single male lined up. I know the rule is don't get your expectations up. We've not met him yet. But, he's hitting on every major and minor cylinder for my wife. She's very excited about him. This guy is the opposite of flaky, so the meet will happen. We're both really looking forward to it. Trying not to get my hopes and expectations up though

[rpu3 630]

Ok, allow me to rephrase while I try to digest my toes.

 

I don't mean to suggest that childfree couples are willy nilly do whatever they want whenever they want, and it's good and easy. I'm just saying that scheduling is easier when you don't have kids in the mix.

 

I don't think you need to rephrase or digest your toes. My point was only some of us do like to make plans in advance and some of us still have scheduling issues, childfree or not. I'll grant that having children is an extra hurdle in scheduling. I don't have kids; I have a delinquent nephew that stays with us during breaks at boarding school (or when he's suspended). That periodic obligation is not moveable or negotiable unlike perhaps my volunteer work, or an outing with a friend, or even my job with its occasional flex time.

 

Sorry Mr. Flaky flaked again on you, regardless.

[IvoryTowers 380]

Ok, allow me to rephrase while I try to digest my toes.

 

Just agreeing with everyone else that you don't need to digest your toes (and loving that phrasing). I have a (vanilla) friend who has a 4 year old and it amazes me how much advance planning is needed and how long it takes him to do things some times.

 

But I think we all agree that even the childfree can have very busy even regimented lives. In most cases, it isn't as unrelenting as childcare, however.

 

And I'm sorry that the guy flaked on you again--although you are obviously well rid of him!

[Mr.Essex 264]

This is ridiculous. I traveled across Minnesota to meet a couple, and this guy couldn't be bothered to give more than half an hour's warning?

 

Well, this explains a lot. The couple that I met was so excited about the fact that I actually showed up, they paid for my dinner and drinks. See, promptness and reliability works out in the long run.