Certifying couples on SLS

[ShellyM 0]

Hey, for those of you who use SLS to find play partners.

 

Do ya'll verify all couples you meet and play with? We went to the camp out in Sep. and met some great friends, and certified them all, and vice versa. However, when it comes with our play partners, whom we also met on sls, I am hesitant to verify them. I have no idea why really, I just feel that with them it is a very private matter (and perhaps I'm greedy and don't want to share jk), and I have not verified them. On the same token, they haven't verified us, either. I just think it is funny how that is, and wonder if anyone else is the same way.

[Dooode 18]

Interesting topic, Shelly.

 

On SDC, the webmaster (Ronald) wrote the Single Male Validation on my forum topic recommendation. I was one of the first ever to be certified as a "real" single male (this special certification was based on meeting 5 certified couples who've validated you). There were special priviledges involved with this certification, ie. bypassing the single male block because of the confidence attained in not abusing the email system.

 

I amassed quite a collection of validations ... but then what I was discovering was that many could fake validations. Or validate even tho they've never met. Some refused validations because they wished their privacy (not that I can say I blame them). Others used it as a popularity contest. Some saw "lots of validations" as a sign that these prospects were promiscuous. One or two validations and they look like inexperienced newbies.

 

To top it off, couples could query other couples based on meetings they've had with those validated. Some were overstepping the line.

 

I lost faith in the system.

 

On SLS, I simply stopped using the validation system. Only ONE couple did I allow a validation from, and that's only because I've known them for 5 years. Some have wanted to validate me, but I tell them I don't accept validations anymore (which I think might've hurt their feelings some). Regardless, I now wanted my privacy and if I've met a couple, I didn't think the whole world should know. It's none of anyone's fuggin' business who I see.

 

So I continue to meet people and I don't think validations have anything to do with how well I do with meeting prospects.

 

That's my feedback.

[rpu3 630]

I don't want to be verified. Whom we meet or do anything with is our business. If someone doesn't want to write or meet us simply because of a lack of verification, that's their business, but I'm not advertising our success or lack thereof. Maybe I'm just weird, and maybe we'll change our minds as we progress.

 

Rebecca

[good times 991]

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on SLS, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

 

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so important to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatible, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

[Chicup 41]

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on SLS, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

 

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so improtant to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatable, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

 

We are exactly the same way. Not sure why, we like to see if they are certified but don't think of sending one out unless we get one first. Really I think we don't want too many certs out there, all we are really looking for is some more proof that a couple is real, and its a lot of work to 'fake' a cert that is going to fool us.

[Tybee Swing 286]

I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on SLS, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

 

What if they're a great couple, who just happen to be pretty new to being listed on the SLS site? It seems that you could be missing out on a lot of great people by ruling them out simply because they're not certified there.

[ShellyM 0]

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on SLS, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

 

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so improtant to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatable, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

 

This is very interesting. Now, when you look at the certs. Are you looking for something in specific, or are you just making sure that yes, they have met other couples and really are alive swingers and for real?

[JP51 40]

we keep certs down to only a few..and if someone is new you can tell by the questions they ask...too many trolls to full around with non certs on SLS...and SDC..

[2jersey 16]

We don't feel the need to publicize a resume' of each of our sexual exploitations.

 

Once you have one or two valid certifications, you have probably met the criteria of the dubious shoppers ("yes, we are real"). But, if you have several certifications you may create the (possibly) false impression that resume' building (i.e. "bed-post-notching") is one of your primary objectives.

 

Generally, we don't provide or accept certifications - mainly because we are already certified by some very credible people.

[lookingfornow 116]

We wanted to have a couple certifications just so people know that we are for real. After we got a couple, we stopped raising the issue with couples. However, when a couple asks us, we will gladly certify them (provided we know them and have played together).

[sexyshelby 19]

good times said:

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on SLS, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

 

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so important to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatible, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

Ok, so here's what I dont get...You say that you wont meet a couple unless they are certified. But then you say that you don't certify people. And then you specifically say that "it just isn't something that is so important to us"...

 

So I'm confused. If they're important enough that you won't meet a couple unless they are certified, then why don't you certify others?

 

I'm not picking on you, but I get the impression that others here also feel the same way. It just doesn't make sense to me.

[FloridaFlirt 15]

Maybe I'm wrong, but....I thought the purpose of validating was just to ensure that the person(s) is/are real, and not fakes!

[Dooode 18]

Maybe I'm wrong, but....I thought the purpose of validating was just to ensure that the person(s) is/are real, and not fakes!

In theory.

 

But say you were fake. Pic collector, let's say.

 

Couldn't you create a new paid profile, complete with text and pictures, and validate your other account?

[LFM2 1,482]

Dooode said:

Couldn't you create a new paid profile, complete with text and pictures, and validate your other account?

Ooooooh... sneaky!

 

How big of a coyote can you be? I believe some people would do that.

[Dooode 18]

I believe some people would do that.

With me, it's more than just a belief. I've seen it.

 

There was one couple on SDC who used to post in their forums quite a bit. They had created a second (then a third) paid profile, validated those, and used that second profile to email others on the forums to influence their opinions. With a triangle of profiles validating each other, they simply seems like a small group who knew each other well. The original (real) profile had authentic validations, which laid more weight to the faked ones. This went on for months.

 

Eventually this couple got caught, but not before they caused considerable damage to others.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread, Shelly. There are pluses to validations. As FloridaFlirt says, it should be used to weed out fakes and find compatibles. But based on individual perceptions and fakes who do get around the system, I think the negatives to its dependancy outweigh the pluses.

[Sweet_Candy 54]

This is from our profile on CT

 

"Our thoughts on validations - we don't expect them. If you know us, you know they are not necessary."

 

We've discovered validations to be nothing more than a who knows who contest. Many people who are validated on CT dont play with others but they make all the events and parties. Being a social butterfly doesn't make a couple real. When we first started we received and gave many validations but after being in lifestyle for a while we discovered the sad reality of validations. Also many people come and go in the lifestyle and because of this attrition we went from over 10 validations down to our current 2.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

This question still confounds us a little even after being at SLS for a while. For people having no certification, we send a certification accompanied by an e-mail note saying that it carries no obligation on their part to accept the it. One couple did, in fact, decline a certification. For people having a certification, we wait for them to ask. Nobody has even felt slighted. We have met people who have sent us no certification.

 

We do not hesitate, incidentally, to send messages to people who are not certified.

[ShellyM 0]

Maybe I'm wrong, but....I thought the purpose of validating was just to ensure that the person(s) is/are real, and not fakes!

 

Right. You are just saying hey, this is a for real couple. Its not necessarily saying you played with them, but just that they are really a couple and not fakers.

[Tybee Swing 286]

We've discovered validations to be nothing more than a who knows who contest. Many people who are validated on CT dont play with others but they make all the events and parties. Being a social butterfly doesn't make a couple real.

 

This is SO true! This is a perfect example of how little the certifications can really mean. Around here, among people we know, many of the validations are between people who know each other socially at the events and as friends, but haven't played together. We know of a particular very social couple who really do not play, except perhaps on very rare occasion, yet they've got several certifications from friends. They're the social flirt type. They're "real" in the sense that they'll show up at the parties, they'll meet you, she'll flirt with everybody, but it's highly unlikely that sex will ever happen with them.

 

Because of this, we don't certify social friends, we only certify people we've actually had sex with. It seems that many people certify their social friends, though.

[Chicup 41]

Sweet_Candy said:

We've discovered validations to be nothing more than a who knows who contest. Many people who are validated on CT dont play with others but they make all the events and parties. Being a social butterfly doesn't make a couple real. When we first started we received and gave many validations but after being in lifestyle for a while we discovered the sad reality of validations. Also many people come and go in the lifestyle and because of this attrition we went from over 10 validations down to our current 2.

 

This is true and we see this on LL more than sls but I'm sure it is there too.

 

I think we now have a good 'feel' for a profile if they are players or posers and based on who did the certs we have a good idea. We have 2 certs as well, it is a good number.

[NCcuriouscpl 15]

Being new to the lifestyle, we were 'tickled' to get our first certification. So was the couple we played with that day, as they were also new. We certified each other. We've since not pushed for additional certifications, as it really isn't important to us to 'collect' them. Since then we have certified a couple of couples we have played with if they asked, and if we felt they were 'genuine'. Almost ALL were either new to the lifestyle, or new to SLS. None were paid members, we received no certification in return and didn't care.

 

We've found in our short experience, that sometimes certifications are not 'bogus' but possibly 'given' to others just to be nice. We have met one couple that had certification, but had been 'removed' from every singles group in the area for 'inappropriate' behavior....they 'bad mouthed' everyone, including the couple that had certified them!

 

So sometimes you can't tell by a certification. And, sometimes you'll miss meeting some lovely couples if you look for that 'certification' before you consider the couple as 'worthwhile'.

 

Just like anything else, you simply have to 'go with your gut' in most instances, try to make good choices, and chalk it up to experience when the 'gut' simply is off track.

 

Ms. Curious

[Guest MrsVan]

MrVan and I do not use the certifying a lot of times. We do not feel it as being an advertisement but think that this let's an us know whether or not the couple or single is legit. We had a couple we played with who gave us a cert and therefore we felt like we needed to do the same for them, so we did it. We do not do them much but we do like to check them out on a profile to see if there are any mixed messages from those and the profile.

 

We have come across profiles that are marked as a couple but when you read the cert's it is either for the wife or husband..So that makes us wonder if it is truly a couple or if it is a single posing as a couple.

 

I think having the certs lets people know that the profile they are checking out is real and the people are real.

[havefuninsun 122]

We're a minority on this subject. We don't want certifications, and actually stay away from those who have a lot of them. We're out having fun, but don't think of ourselves as "in the lifestyle" -- we're not living and breathing it. And, since we're anti-kiss and tell, the non-certifications work for us. If a couple doesn't want to chat with us because we don't have them, that is their perogative. No harm, no foul.

[riswingcpl 16]

havefuninsun said:

We're a minority on this subject. We don't want certifications, and actually stay away from those who have a lot of them. We're out having fun, but don't think of ourselves as "in the lifestyle" -- we're not living and breathing it. And, since we're anti-kiss and tell, the non-certifications work for us. If a couple doesn't want to chat with us because we don't have them, that is their prerogative. No harm, no foul.

 

Same here...exactly. If we were contacted by folks with an armful of certs, we'd probably not be all that interested. We're more into having a very few close regular friends, rather than folks who are out with someone different every weekend. We're not being judgmental about those that swing that way...to each his (or her) own...but that's just not us.

[good times 991]

What if they're a great couple, who just happen to be pretty new to being listed on the SLS site? It seems that you could be missing out on a lot of great people by ruling them out simply because they're not certified there.

I agree with you here Tybee, in order to not have a book length post I omitted some of the exceptions we might make in the real world. We do take into account the length of time the people have been on the sight. If they have been members for some time and have no certs. we wouldn't spend much time trying to meet them though.

 

This is very interesting. Now, when you look at the certs. Are you looking for something in specific, or are you just making sure that yes, they have met other couples and really are alive swingers and for real?

In our area the swinger community is fairly small, most of the regular swingers in our area all know each other. So, it would be really unusual for someone to have several certs and we didn't know at least one of them personally. so, if they had a half a dozen certs and we didn't know any of them, we would be skeptical. We have also found that certs give us an indication of what kind of people the couple is interested in meeting, this can effect our comfort level in meeting them and give us some insight into whether we would hit it off or not. To answer your question more specifically, I think that when we look at the certifications we are not looking for anything specific, and yes, one of the main reasons is to see if they are real.

 

Ok, so here's what I dont get...You say that you wont meet a couple unless they are certified. But then you say that you don't certify people. And then you specifically say that "it just isn't something that is so important to us"...

 

So I'm confused. If they're important enough that you won't meet a couple unless they are certified, then why don't you certify others?

I didn't mean to imply that we don't certify others, in fact, we are more than happy to give someone a cert and do it all the time. What I meant was we don't just do it automatically like some folks do. Generally, if someone certifies us we will certify them, or if someone asks for us to certify them we will do it. If we meet someone with no certs, we will even occasionally ask if they would like a cert from us, but that is kind of rare because honestly, we usually just don't think about certs much after we have met.

 

I would also like to add that it isn't that we won't meet someone with no certs, but we usually won't spend as much time and effort to meet them as someone who is certified. The reason for that is that in the four or so years we have been on SLS we have found that often times uncertified people are pretty much a waste of time. Not always the case, but often enough to be a trend. what we usually do when someone uncertified contacts us is write them back expressing our interest and invite them to meet us at one of the clubs we frequent. As we go to one of the local clubs several times a month it is usually is pretty easy for us to give them a time and place. Of the uncertified people we have used this approach with we have had no-shows about 90% of the time, but since we were planning on going to the club anyway, it has minimum impact on our plans for the evening.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here - Certs are like anything. They can be part of a verification of legitimacy, but never THE verification. Personally, we've never asked for a cert and it has not played a role in our success, or lack, in meeting couples. In reviewing many, each one seems to be part of a circle of people that has formed. That has me question their legitimacy beyond a clique of people.

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Susan here--Certs are like anything. They can be part of a verification of legitiamcy, but never THE verification. Personally, we've never asked for a cert and it has not played a role in our success, or lack, in meeting couples. In reviewing many, each one seems to be part of a circle of people that has formed. That has me question their legitimacy beyone a clique of people.

 

Valid point Susan

[troublextwo 15]

I / we have not had great success on SLS. Like it but definately don't love it. Best site hands down in the midwest is C4P.com Yes profiles can be validated but validation does not mean sex; it mearly means the couple has shown up as a "live" couple to an event. Don't get me wrong it also can mean the other you'll just have to guess. You are allowed to turn off your validations if you wish, most of us keep them on. Our hit percentage on scheduled appointments on C4P is 90+ %. We call arrange to meet at club etc....they are always there. We also have numerous clubs here in the midwest to meet. Some are small and intimate and others are large and meet and greet style.

 

I believe SLS would be better if you could also turn off or on validations

[Rvrtas 15]

We have consciously chosen to decline offers of certification. We're not bedpost notchers and wanted to avoid creating the impression we are just that. We've also chosen not to certify others, mostly because our good experience might not meet another's definition. We look at the exercise as like dating; you meet and make decisions on your own.

 

We might change our views on this in future, but feel comfortable with our choice for now.

 

Just had another thought. We've definitely done the network thing. "You'd like this other couple we know ..." Seems somewhat like an endorsement or certification. We've used that reference to proceed with another couple. May make our reluctance to use SLS certifications ill-founded; I don't know. But ... there it is!

[daisy girl 34]

I think this has been covered before but I am not sure. If you are reading a profile ad with certifications, would you ever avoid a couple because of the number of certifications listed? How many certifications are "too many?"

[VegasLee 1,486]

You would not swing with someone because they know a lot of people?

[daisy girl 34]

No, I am just curious. We aren't accepting any new certifications because we are concerned that people may have preconceived notions about us. We have three right now. I was just wondering if our fears are warranted.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Ok, I will admit we do not do much with those sites anymore at all.

 

I know that in the past we knew people that had many certifications because they knew 100's of people. We also know one couple that made up a bunch of fake names so they could certify their self and brag about their self.

 

I guess some could assume that you have done everyone that has certified you.

 

If someone did not contact me because a bunch of my friends certified me then I am pretty sure I would not want to meet that person anyway.

 

Just my simple thoughts anyway.

[good times 991]

The number of certs someone has makes no difference to us either.

[Chicup 41]

The magic number is 3 from apparently 'real' couples I think.

 

(By apparently real is they have a full 'real' looking profile on the site)

 

Its not about logic, its about first impressions, especially with newbie couples.

 

Another issue is people DO judge you by your certs. If someone sees a bunch of couples as certs who they would not be interested in playing, they may get a negative impression of you too. Sure you may have never played with those couples, maybe only met them at a meet and greet, but thats often not clear in the cert.

 

Sure maybe you met the couple that is into watersports at a meet and greet and they sent you a cert, but it might just not be best to list it.

 

Some would argue that people who judge you by your certs are not worth knowing, but honestly I don't' think thats true, people are often intimidated by swinging early on, and why give them something else to worry about?

 

A better question is WHY would you need a bunch of certs? A cert to me at best is to show you are at least a real couple. Its a swingers add, not a myspace page, and just because someone knows you doesn't mean you need to tell the world about it blog style.

 

So while some people don't worry about the number of your certs, those people will as a whole NOT be turned off if you have a more limited number, on the other hand some people would be freaked out if everyone in a tristate area gave you a certification.

 

So don't over do it, I can't say I was ever impressed or cared that some people on LL had 4 pages of certifications. To me it seemed more like showing off.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Personally we don't do certs anymore, we have had too many people contact us with "so you know so and so,what do ya think of them"

We feel it is about you and us, not us and them. If we are contacted by someone.

 

But like I've said when you are new you feel like you need a cert.

[havefuninsun 122]

We don't like certs -- I understands all the good reasons why people have them, and why some people will not talk to a couple who DOESN'T have them, but to me, they usually scream "kiss and tell."

 

Also, sometimes when you click on a cert to read it, then click on that profile and click on their certs and that couple has 10 or so ... it makes me suspicious as to how careful people are. Being judgmental? OK -- maybe we are. But as we all know, with our activities come risks, and if we perceive there is a risk right from the beginning, we probably will not try to get to know that particular couple.

 

WITH THAT SAID, I do know that just because someone doesn't HAVE 10 certs doesn't mean they haven't had a lot of play experience. So, once we contact a couple (or they contact us), we get to know them, find out about some of their experiences (and they do us as well), and then we access our risks.

 

Three isn't enough for us to go "yikes!" But, if we click on one of your three and that couple has a lot, then the yikes factor kicks in.

 

I wish there were no certs, personally. I just don't like them at all ... but like I said, I know some couples use them to weed out fakes, so I guess they have merit. Although -- those who use them to weed out fakes, or only contact couples WITH certs are also making assumptions as we are with too many certs ...

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Here's another thread on the topic of certification. Within it there is also a link to another thread on the Board about certification:

 

SLS Certification - Etiquette Question

 

It will give you lots of views on the topic.

[good times 991]

While I have to say that I respect peoples opinions who don't believe in certs, we have found that the majority of the people who we have had unsatisfactory interactions with on SLS have been people with no certs. So, for us anyway, while we don't automatically discount people with no certs, we are definitely wary of them.

[De and Ci 19]

When we look for couples online and see they have too many certifications, we immediately disregard them. We are looking for decent couples we can be proud of, not slutty couples who sleep around. However, if a profile states that even though they have a lot of certifications, they haven’t slept with every couple that certified them, that makes us feel soooo much better about them-like when they have 20 certifications and maybe only actually slept with 13 of them. That is VERY important to us--NOT!!

 

The whole point of certification is to help you weed out fakes, flakes, and phonies. It simply means that another couple or couples have met them and they are for real. The whole point of swinging is hooking up with other couples for sex. If your worried about your “reputation” or that couples will think you are too “easy” or something, then maybe this lifestyle is not for you.

[VegasLee 1,486]

There was one site we belonged to a few years back. They had it set up so that you got one cert. Just to prove you where real and a couple. Seems to me that is about all those certs are really good for. Anymore than that is just showing you have lots of friends that are willing to write things about you.

 

I like that De and Ci pointed out, if you are worried about your rep. then this might not be the right thing for you. This is about having sex with others.

[Chicup 41]

Well now that the swinging police have had their say.

 

I have to wonder the motivation of having dozens or even more certs.

 

To me it seems very immature, more like a teenagers my space page than a swingers add.

 

We only encountered the whole cert 'issue' when we were involved with the LL crowd and there it main purpose seems to be some cool kids network to show who they hang out with.

 

All I'm looking for is some verification that its not a 40 year old man living in his mothers basement pretending to be a couple, not who is on your IM list.

[good times 991]

We have 5 certs, only three of which are people we have had sex with. So I would be the last one to assume that just because someone has a lot of certs they have had sex with all of them.

 

We don't really actively encourage people to certify us, nor do we certify others unless they request us to. It is nice to get one once in a while to keep them current though. The reason for that is we also look to see how current the certs are that someone has. If the newest one is five years old we might be a bit cautious.

[Tybee Swing 286]

What a good question, daisy girl! I'll bet the answer varies a great deal. To some, 4 might seem like too many. To others, 20+.

 

In reading other profiles, we've seen where some people accept certifications from people that haven't even met them. "You have nice pictures, thank you for letting me be in your network, I hope to meet you someday." What does this certify?

 

We happen to have six of them. We've never asked for one, they just happened. In each case, we actually know these people and have hung out with them, but haven't been sexual with some of them. It surprises me that many people would assume we've "done" everyone who writes something nice about us.

 

I just hid our three oldest certifications, so now only three are showing. I guess with three, we don't appear to be cert-collectors or 'ho's, or total newbies, or some guy living in a basement pretending to be a couple.

 

If you are reading a profile ad with certifications, would you ever avoid a couple because of the number of certifications listed? How many certifications are "too many?"

 

I've seen some and thought, "wow, they have a lot", but never rejected someone over it. I just figure they know a lot of people. I figure they're social, probably involved in organized groups/clubs, rather than just the lone couple meeting one couple at a time on blind dates. Where we live, it's mostly the latter. People who write us from other cities, where there's a social scene for swingers, often tend to have a lot more certs, it seems.

[The Fuse 1,012]

When we first started out, we were intimidated by couples with a lot of certifications. I've seen some write here that they think lots of certifications means lots of partners, which is taken to somehow mean the couple is slutty. But when you think about it, the lack of certifications doesn't mean you're not slutty. It just means you aren't shouting from the virtual rooftops.

 

We know one couple who've had more sexual partners than they could probably count, but only had one cert until recently. They've been living a non-monogamous life for 15 or 20 years, and they're a social and attractive couple. The numbers are simply going to build up. I think it would be hypocritical to judge someone negatively based on that.

 

About certifications, I have come to think that they're about what image you're trying to project. These are the people who you advertise "I hang out with these people, and by extension, people like them".

 

For instance, we didn't accept a cert from a couple we knew who were into bondage, because we don't want people to think we're into that.

 

We have written certs, when asked, for people we'd want others to know that we know. We've been asked because those people, in turn, like our image. Fine. We only have three ourselves. More seems a bit redundant, and I have to admit a feeling that a lot of certs gives the impression a couple are less selective. Not a slut, just less selective about friends. This impression is probably wrong for me to have.

 

We don't rule people out on certs. If someone is certified by a couple who looks low-class or like they have a bad attitude or basically a lot of negative qualities, then we wonder why a potential friend is advertising a connection with them.

[Liutas 15]

If you're intersted in a couple, and they have been members for a while (on SLS particularly) and have no certifications, do you read any meaning into that?

 

We tend to think they are not real people, just on there to play games. I understand some folks may not want to "kiss and tell" but to me it kind of throws up a flag that this person (or couple) my not be accurately representing themselves.

[rpu3 630]

The topic of certifications and why people use 'em or don't use 'em and why/why not you should read anything into them has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

 

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with.

 

I've been on SLS for probably 2 years, with no certs, for the aforementioned reasons. We would like to maintain our privacy in an activity that is not accepted in mainstream society. We are reasonably discrete about our activities, and we do not do this for notching, bragging rights or advertising, and certifications fall perilously close to that for us.

 

If we are passed on or thought less of because of the lack of certs, oh well and their loss for those who choose to pass.

[good times 991]

If you're intersted in a couple, and they have been members for a while (on SLS particularly) and have no certifications, do you read any meaning into that?

Well, their are a few people that just don't like certs for various reasons, but in general, if we are contacted by someone who has been a member for some time and they have no certs, we are very wary of them. Does that mean we would not meat with someone with no certs? No, but I will have to admit that so far, in five years or so on SLS, the large majority of people with no certs that have contacted us turned out to be flakes or time wasters.

[ownerspet 506]

I have to admit... that we haven't done certifications either way... but we are definitely real people and we are listed on SLS as jarpar.

 

but we just don't feel comfortable with the certifications...

 

[sexcupid 809]

Certs are nice...but we don't put much stock in them either. I mean, some peole may get bent if you don't leave them one (which I think may have been the case with one couple we played with...it wasn't that great of an experience, but we really did like them in a friendly manner...but I don't know for sure)....we only have 1 and we've been members about a year. But we've played with a few folks and had a good time.

 

To each their own on this one.

 

Maria