Newbies: Who would you rather play with?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

There's another thread asking experienced swingers the reasons why they may not want to swing with newbies, the thoughts there led me to this question.

 

As a newbie looking for your first experience, who are you looking for? Would you rather play with another first timer? Someone with a little experience? Or a couple who is very experienced? And why would you prefer one over the other?

[VanHlebar 187]

Well our first experience was with a couple that had been in the lifestyle for over 7 years. We really can't thank them enough for everything the helped us with. They were extrememly patient, helpful and honest with us. The four of us had many long discussions about various topics in swinging and they really did make things alot easier for us (mainly me).

 

Had we been in a situation where we explored with other newbies, things might have turned out vastly different. I really slowed things down with issues I was dealing with at the beginning and well, as newbies we didn't quite understand them, so if we had been with other newbies, chances are they might not have understood either.

 

Now this couple also was the type of couple the really pushed our boundaries, but in a good way. Never pushed us after we said no, but always bringing up new ideas and then waiting for us to say we were ready. It was a lot of fun! facelick

 

-Van

[flkeyscouple 21]

As a newbie we were looking for a couple that had experience, but not a ton of experience. We were a bit worried about someone with vast experience being to forward or too fast. It ended up that our first full swap couple did have many years of experience, and it worked out wonderfully!

 

Our first soft swap couple was what I'll call a 'one night stand', but by the definition that we probably will never see them again - not that we wouldn't want to. They were what we had looked for - experienced, but only a year of swinging... not YEARS and YEARS.

 

Both of our 'firsts' were wonderful and we hold great memories of those two nights! facelick

 

Sarah

[NJCouple 16]

We've discovered in our first 6 months of swinging that experience is not what counts, but the ability to communicate and to have patience etc. For instance, we had several soft experiences with a newbie couple and he was having difficulties with an erection. It didn't faze us. We enjoyed their company and had fun. We've run into the same situation where an experienced person was freaked out on our first full swap when hubbies erection disappeared with the donning of a condom for the first time. The mood was ruined because of their lack of acceptance. (I look at it as my win, as hubbies erection returned without a problem and I got to enjoy it!) My take on it is that it takes good people that are willing to go with the flow and enjoy themselves. I would think that would be easier for experienced swingers, but personality plays a big role as well. We haven't had a problem since and I think it is a matter of finding the right match. We've only played a few times really, but we've made some great friends in and out of the bedroom. Even if you don't become fast friends, that mesh of personalities, I think, is the key to great sex.

Sharon

[NandTfromCA 84]

We've discovered in our first 6 months of swinging that experience is not what counts, but the ability to communicate and to have patience etc. For instance, we had several soft experiences with a newbie couple and he was having difficulties with an erection. It didn't faze us. We enjoyed their company and had fun. We've run into the same situation where an experienced person was freaked out on our first full swap when hubbies erection disappeared with the donning of a condom for the first time. The mood was ruined because of their lack of acceptance. (I look at it as my win, as hubbies erection returned without a problem and I got to enjoy it!) My take on it is that it takes good people that are willing to go with the flow and enjoy themselves. I would think that would be easier for experienced swingers, but personality plays a big role as well. We haven't had a problem since and I think it is a matter of finding the right match. We've only played a few times really, but we've made some great friends in and out of the bedroom. Even if you don't become fast friends, that mesh of personalities, I think, is the key to great sex.

Sharon

We're not veterans and we aren't newbies...and could not agree more with what you had to say! (that's how we felt as newbies too)

[Brian&Mandy 15]

Should go without saying that we don't want to have anything to do with people who presume to know us well enough to dismiss us (those 'experienced' people).

 

Problem is, that we don't think like that and have/will again end up socalizing with the exact people who choose to dismiss us out of hand, without even bothering to spend a handfull of minutes talking to us. In the end, it's just a Huge black eye on the whole community.... so thanks for that, those of us who don't give a rats ass about 'experience', and DO care about personality, really appreciate all the negativity you bring to the table (yes, Sarcasim is turned way up).

 

I can believe what's being said (the other topic like this and others that seem to be "I do X, so I'm holier than thou doing Y"), but it just pisses me off and is a major reason we're still considered newbies as it's an overwhelming prevelant attitude.

[NandTfromCA 84]

I can believe what's being said (the other topic like this and others that seem to be "I do X, so I'm holier than thou doing Y"), but it just pisses me off and is a major reason we're still considered newbies as it's an overwhelming prevelant attitude.

Maybe it’s a regional thing (Wyoming vs CA). From my perspective, prejudice against newbies is not the prevailing attitude.

 

- There are those that don’t meet with newbies because they are afraid of having their time wasted.

- There are those that seek out newbies because they want “fresh meet”.

- And there are those that take each person as they are (caveat- comfort level factors into "taking people as they are" and comfort level and experience level tend to be somewhat proportional)

 

I could be wrong but I would guess most of the swinger population is made up of the later.

 

T

[ohhandahh 17]

First time swinging or experienced, I think it is the rules that count. Do you both have the same rules? Do you both expect the same thing? Are you good company for each other? These are the important things, not how many other people someone has been with. I beleive that experience is a good thing. I couldn't even operate a debit card machine until someone showed me. Not that newbies need to be shown how to do it, but you know just a little more about comfortability, mood setting and getting down to sex and into bed with another couple after you have experienced it. It would seem easier with couples who have been there, done that and are willing to make the moves and do things first timers may be uncoomfortable in showing their desire for experiencing.

I dont believe anyone thinks they are better at sex or more desirable than first timers. I think there are a lot of thing like jealousy, modesty, concern for their spouse and other issues that newbies have yet to actually experience.

They may, after the first time, decide it is not for them. It would make the get together less of the good time they are hoping for and know that all have 'done it', and are truly ready to play without reservations.

No one is putting newbies down. Who doesnt like "fresh virgin meat"? You are desireable to all, but until you prove to yourselves that you are all for it, you are an unknown to all who see you as first timers. We all started with our first time. Just find someone who will make it easy for you to enjoy it, and drop the attitude anyone thinks they are holier than thou. That in itself is a turn off you need to get over. You are much to serious about this as an issue, it is a discussion you should learn from, things you should think about to make sure you are truly ready and make that clear to potential couples and let them show you what they have learned. It isnt rocket science, it is understanding the understandable things people think about when choosing another couple to share their most intimate sexual moments with.

[freekynme 15]

For our first time hubby & I were lucky to find a very caring couple who were experienced & took the time to meet with us. While we were newbies as a couple, we both had swinging experience from previous relationships, so things were fine for us. This couple took us to our first swingers club & basically introduced us to their friends & invited us to house parties & get togethers & everything. They were very patient & easy going which made our first experience together enjoyable. So I dont think a couple's or person's level of experience or lack there of should be the deciding factor in whether someone plays with them, but what I do think is that if everything feels right & everyone's on the same page then do it. Although I can understand why vets dont want to get involved in with newbies, I think it is a bit unfair to assume that all newbies are a waste of time, source of drama, etc. Just my 2 cents on the subject.

[captainbob 30]

Although I probably shouldn't have, I posted in the other thread and was not impressed with the attitude of the "experienced" swingers.

 

It was mentionned that an indication of a non-newbie is one that doesn't even know the names of those they just had sex with! Lovely.

 

I voted for experienced, but not too experienced. I don't want the attitude, but I'd like to move along at a good pace by a friendly, patient couple that doesn't have their own problems.

[ShellyM 0]

There's another thread asking experienced swingers the reasons why they may not want to swing with newbies, the thoughts there led me to this question.

 

 

As a newbie looking for your first experience, who are you looking for? Would you rather play with another first timer? Someone with a little experience? Or a couple who is very experienced? And why would you prefer one over the other?

 

I'm a newbie, and I would rather people do the first time with experienced swingers.

[ohash01 20]

I voted SOME experience.

 

J. and I are MOSTLY new...we've had a couple little experiences...but not enough to really know what's up yet. We're kind of the way some men are with virgins. We're like "nooo...oh no...we don't want to give them their first impression". The very first time I had sex I hated it so much, I didnt have sex again for 2 years. I wouldn't wish that dreadful feeling on anyone and I don't want to be the one to create it.

 

Thank goodness I LOVE sex now

[good times 991]

Well, when we first started we just wanted to get laid. It ended up our first time was with an experienced couple, and theoretically that is what I would prefer. In reality, if I was a newbie again, I'd probably still go with whoever was willing and we seemed to get along with, no matter what their experience level, even knowing what I know now.

[sexyshelby 19]

Very interesting question. I think I would prefer to have the first time with someone who has some, but not a lot of experience.

 

However, in reality, whoever we click with!

 

~SS

[friskymonkey 15]

I have to admit that the first couple we met in the lifestyle were nearly as inexperienced as we were and while it was fine for drinks, no one really knew how to take it from there (especially us two women who the party was supposed to be centered around). Then the other husband suggested an elaborate date starting at their house, watching porn, girls playing dress up for the boys, then dinner, dancing and off to a sex club. I freaked out. It was too much, I felt overwhelmed, couldn't find my attraction to any of it. So we bailed.

 

The next couple we met was very experienced. We took it slow and after getting to know them a bit I suggested that we meet them at a club. She was so cool and low pressure, yet very appreciative of me and very skilled at every part of the seduction. It was great! She knew just how to woo me and make me feel comfortable. We had a great time. And she had a blast, too, in spite of the fact that they're normally a full swap couple and we're not.

 

So for me, the experienced couple was perfect. Not to say that a less experienced couple couldn't have worked out also but it was great to have someone who knew the ropes to gently take the lead.

 

I plan to become more emboldened as I become more experienced. I look forward to being the veteran who intiates the newbie someday.

[lovinher 505]

Brain&mandy, I couldnt agree more. Wow!

[nmgrrrl 15]

I'm fortunate I guess, in that nmturfman has been in the lifestyle for a number of years, so I haven't really dealt with as many "newbie" issues. I do feel more comfortable with ppl who arent 'old hands' strictly because they tend to move slower and aren't as impatient. I'm not into endless chat & email like veterans complain about, but I'm damn sure not going to make a date with anyone I am not 100% comfy with.

 

nmturfman has no problem with newbies and enjoys meeting them and helping them to feel comfortable to explore. I was brand spankin new when he met me and with some patience he helped free the wild thing inside.

 

Do the lifestyle a favor-- adopt a newbie.

[wifes_sex_slave 16]

For MRS and I, we have been to our local club a small number of times and have met both new and experienced couples. (For those of you who have read us before know that we still are SLS virgins) We were stood up by a supposed experienced couple and at first kinda soured our taste a bit but quickly dismissed that as just rudeness and kept returning to the club.

 

Now saying that we have met all sorts of couples, we have noticed that for the most part it really has not much to do with how experienced you are in the lifestyle as it is your attitude towards others.

 

MRS and I are very easy going people, a little shy (likely the reason for our "virginity") but are not going to dismiss any opportunity just because "they" have never done it or "they" have been with everyone in the club. We are patient and will, in time, find our niche.

 

This subject (along with the other thread from the experienced side) have caused some hard feelings from both sides of the fence, which we find rather unnecessary as we all have our opinions on the matter.

 

For us, as long as the other couple is nice to talk to (not necessarily attractive - looks aren't all the person is) and patient enough to take the time to play with us, we will of course, be the same. Remember the old antic, "people will respond to how they are treated, equally" goes a long way. It's a mind set.

 

Whether experienced or not - if you are kind and are treated kind and have a fun conversation with another couple, chances are (unless they repulse you for some reason) you will consider getting to know them better and perhaps play fantastic together.

[Gladiola4u 16]

Good thread Julie.

 

For me personally it doesn't matter. Although we have not had our first experience yet, we have met some really nice couples at the club that are both newbies and experienced. We want to meet both couples well before we do swing with them and make sure that we actually click. I agree with nmgrrrls, that I also want to feel comfy with whomever we swing with and not regret the whole thing 5 minutes into the playing.

We have discussed with hubby that we are more into personality than with the looks or the years of "experience" of a couple. We have met this very new and young couple that we both really liked but also this older and a LOT of years of "experience" that we also like. They have both given us the chance to talk and to a possible meeting (short of inviting us) but we want to make sure that whomever we decide to go with at the end, is the couple that we are both okay with.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

Ok - for the newbies - my question would be - why not an experienced couple with MORE experience? Why is this such a bad thing as some have made it sound? Maybe I'm just tired and not understanding lol.....please explain.

 

The Other Mrs. Menage

[Tia Vampire 167]

We chose someone who knows a little, but not alot because we did meet a couple who has people in and out of thier house and are experienced. This was a red flag for us. They love having sex without protection. The sex is good, don't get me wrong, but they have it too often and we think they are a ricky pick.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

People starting out often write in their profile that they "want someone to show us the ropes" or, in contrast, "want to meet new swingers like us and take it slow."

 

When we started out, we didn't care if our first meet/play with a couple was with another newbie couple or experienced swingers. But for many, it seems they have a definite preference because they mention it in their profile.

 

For you newbies - and those curious about swinging - who would you prefer to meet when you first step into SwingWorld, newbies or experienced swingers? Explain why.

 

LM

[Tia Vampire 167]

When we first started out, we just wanted to be able to say that we tried it. After our first couple of couples he wanted to move slower. Now we want to really get to know who we play with unless it's just a one night stand. As long as we see that a couple is serious about playing, know how to have a good time when they are out, they don't have any hang ups, and the sex is good, these are the type of couples that we prefer. They are usually the more experienced swingers. We don't care who or how many others they've been with.

[Fantasy01 11]

We have no preferance either....but we do want to get to know the other couple first not just jump in bed naked with them... However, that being said if we meet a couple and there is a instant attraction then yes we would get naked and screw our brains out...

[sexcupid 809]

We first met up with another relatively new couple (altho, they did also both have singles profiles...so I'm thinking they hadn't been a couple very long).

 

The other folks we've met with have varying degrees of experience.

 

I guess the reason a preference is stated in an ad...since they are new, they want some one new as well because they are all kind of in the same boat (nerves, lack of experience, etc)...whereas they might think that meeting up with an experienced couple is more pressure to play, not wanting to be seen as 'flakes' or teases if they don't want to play, etc.

 

But the request for the experienced couple could be for some of the same reasons. They don't want to have another newbie couple that is just as nervous...maybe someone to take the lead in how the night progresses?

[Malachista 170]

I had three relationships before getting into swinging. All three guys where virgins. I did not care who I played with, I just don't want any more virgins in my pants .. thank you very much!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

[bellsandwhistle 15]

We've had a couple play dates, so far, and we're still very new to the lifestyle.

 

It was nice to play with an experienced couple, as it didn't take all night for someone to make the first move. I'm sure if we were both newbies, it could have been the wee hours of the a.m. before anyone had the nerve.

 

I joked with them that we were glad they popped our cherry. The had been in the lifestyle for years and made us feel very comfortable and sexy.

 

Since we've had another play date, we're much more comfortable now and feel as though we can read the signs....for the most part. I'm comfortable as the initiator.

 

I don't know that we're ready to engage with total newbies yet, but maybe later on we will.

[Rhysis 15]

My wife and I have yet to have our first experience. We've talked about it some and we've come to the conclusion that, if we do decide to take that step, we would be a lot more comfortable with someone who was experienced. It would be way too wierd for us otherwise.

[Blue_eyes 15]

Since my husband and I have yet to play together, I think I'd like an experienced couple the first few times.

[justussj2009 15]

I would prefer to play with a new couple. I think it would be less stressful since it would be both of our first time(s) ...

[dlflorida 52]

We just played for the first time Friday night and it was with a couple who had only been with one other couple. We (my wife) had been with a SM with me watching but this was our first full swap. It was very fun but strange for me as it has been 18 years since I kissed / fondled / went down on etc. another woman. I know what my wife enjoys and am able to please her with ease but with a new woman there is a learning curve.

[SheLovesTheSun 40]

I think I may prefer someone with a little more experience than me, but not too much more. My boyfriend's been swinging for a couple of years now, but I have no experience whatsoever and I admit, I'm a little nervous. I know that I definitely want it to be a soft swap, at least for the first time;)

It does make me feel better that my boyfriend has experience because he's told me some stories. It has helped so far to know what I want for a first experience and what I don't want.

[giveoral2women 15]

We have yet to have our first experience with swinging. Our attitude is that we would not enjoy the experience if there weren't a good relationship first. Some may call this "good chemistry" but we enjoy sex not only through the physical action but the emotional responses and feeling that arise. To us any thing otherwise is more equivalent self gratification. We want to as uninhibited as possible and since we both are open for nearly anything not involving pain, and is mutually agreeable - another newbie couple may not be ready for that. But more experienced couples more likely would. Still till we actually have our first experience its a bit academic.

 

[TaylorNAries 15]

There's another thread asking experienced swingers the reasons why they may not want to swing with newbies, the thoughts there led me to this question.

 

 

As a newbie looking for your first experience, who are you looking for? Would you rather play with another first timer? Someone with a little experience? Or a couple who is very experienced? And why would you prefer one over the other?

 

To me it really doesnt matter. I have some pretty good ideas on what can be done. I just wonder or hope I can do a good job at it. And would love for this experience with my husband be totally worth it.

[Guest lovegeneration]

I would prefer to play with an experienced couple/person!

[DigginIt 1,132]

Our first two couples were as green as we were when we started playing. It was a little awkward in moments but those moments passed quickly and we had fantastic times with them. One became a repeat couple.

 

To date, we still don't have a variety of people under our belts because we tend to stick with a single couple or two for a long time before moving on but I definitely think that having someone experienced is the way to go because I think we were lucky. If both couples are still a little awkward, it could make the evening a little too strenuous.

[sxmcouple 16]

Our first time was with our best friends which was also their first time. We all had very good times. I was surprised by how much my wife enjoyed the experience. It has really opened some new doors for us and we are much better for it. So I think we weren't so much concerned about the experience level of the other couple but more so our comfort level.

[DocWill 83]

Okay, so from our limited experiences- we’d have to say that being with another couple with some experience can make all the difference in the world if you just take a little time to get to know them first- and I think that can go both ways.

 

Just from what I’ve read here, and from wasting countless hours in sex-psychology books, there are MANY different swingers out there who swing for MANY different reasons. Some like to be chased so they can take their pick. Some like to be aggressive and get right down to the nitty-gritty. Others like to meet, evaluate and plan, while others like to develop friendships first. With some couples only one partner really likes to swing while the other is just doing it to make the other happy. Some couples like to watch each other with another, while other couples like to go behind closed doors. Then there are couples who just let the chips fall where they may. There are just too many variables for new LS couples to experience and understand- and I think that’s a major issue when dealing with any potentially new playmates-regardless of their experience.

 

Mrs. Will and I agreed to a specific vetting process- and here’s how it works (this is for e-play hookups):

 

First we READ the profile and form our own picture of what the couple may or may not look like (yes, we cover the pictures). If it’s poorly written with elementary spelling mistakes, or consists of just two or three lines of text- we pretty much just move on

 

The second thing we do IS look at the pictures- I think that needs any more of an explanation, however, if the pictures don’t show the couple or just ONE person from the couple we raise a little flag- ONLY because there are some one-sided cheating liars out there. Case in point: Mrs. Will and I found a profile where the woman on it was hot- so we decided to IM them. After 10 minutes it was apparent that the “husband” had either lost any pictures of them together, or had completely forgotten to get permission from his wife to post her pictures on the site- because he also lost his “wife” and didn’t know when she’d be able to speak with us. Lesson learned.

 

The third thing we do is send them an e-mail about us, what we’re into, and we also add a tame picture of what we look like. If they take the time to send us a GOOD e-mail back- we try to evaluate their responses to some of our stupid questions like, “Do you have kids?” or, “What do you guys do for a living?” and, “How experienced are you in the LS?” We do this so we can get a basic feel for the couple we’re interested in. Having kids shows us responsibility. Having a good job also shows us responsibility, but it also gives us a baseline on social class. Experience simply allows us to sense how comfortable they may or may not be if we decide to take it any farther. Obviously the more experience, the higher the comfort level- with us as well.

 

The fourth thing we do is set up a no pressure, no expectation, meet at a nice bar or restaurant. If the couple agrees to meet us, we’re up front that nothing is going to happen that night. If that’s fine with them, we meet, break the ice, talk about trivial crap for a while- and then get to the nitty-gritty. What do they like? What are their limits? What were their past good/bad experiences like? Etc. Of course we share the same information about ourselves and answer any questions. Like any business deal, we get over the “taboo” talk and go back to having a good time with a normal “getting to know you” conversation. At the end of the night we ask them if they’d like to play with us- if they do, we leave it at that and tell them that we’ll be in touch. After about a day, either they’ll call or IM us, or we’ll do the same to make arrangements for the play date.

 

So far we’ve used this format twice- and we’ve met two GREAT couples in the past three weeks where naked bodies get lost amongst the sheets, the sweat, the chairs, the loveseat, the bath tub, the deck, and the fun.

 

In any case, that works for us. Here’s why:

 

We can tell a lot about a couple from the combination of just their profile and their first e-mail. When we meet, we get to put the mental picture together with the faces and behaviors. If it all works out- experience really has nothing to do with it. It’s about making an honest connection that MUST work between four people. Sex is, contrary to popular belief among new swingers, a very deep and personal experience-- but so is war. Too much and you might lose who you are, or worse yet, forget how nervous, scared, or pleasantly anxious you were when you started. Sometimes people lose the sensitivity and can turn something extraordinary into something mundane- therefore they’ll only look for what excites them- and newbies probably won’t excite them as much as an experienced couple with a swing, bareback rule, or live-in unicorn. Sorry for the generalizations- I’m just saying some overly experienced people can, and do, build a tolerance that newbies just don’t have- YET.

 

Bottom line: find and build some kind of connection between the parties, even if it’s just lust. If that happens, experience is an afterthought.

 

Oh, and we would prefer couples who had experiences like ours, but newbies who meet our vetting process get to earn some experience as well. Personality goes a LONG way.

[Pleasure King 16]

As someone newer to the lifestyle I've come to the realization that my ideal partners are women whose husbands/bfs are really eager about swinging while they themselves are needing a more patient male. Being an introverted sort clubs and parties are not my ideal venues. But I still have a lot to offer the right woman.

[Cajun2Step 65]

It does not matter to us. Sex is more mental than it is physical to many couples. We like to explore and find what mentally turns on all involved.

----------------------

Sex is better than cake.

[Naampc 15]

She has told me that she would prefer someone with a little bit of experience, but not so much that they expect us to have any kind of clue as to what's what and everything else. I agree with her. We'd like someone with some experience to take our swinging virginity, but the right kind of someone. You know? I am unsure of how to describe it any better than that. Someone who has played a few times but isn't a player. GAH! Words! I wonder how poets and writers find the right words!?

[MN Tom 251]

At this point we are looking for someone with experience, although an even higher priority than that is just someone who will listen and cares about what we say.

 

Another facet which we need to agree upon is progression, we don't want to go hog wild on the first meeting and we will make sure they know and accept that ahead of time. And hopefully not in one of those "oh they say they don't want this or that, but we will turn them to the dark side.. bwahahaha" types of deals.

[virgin swinger 45]

I would like it to be a couple who have had experience but if we met the right couple and they didn't have much I am sure we wouldn't turn them down! The most important thing to talk about it our ground rules right?

[angelmorals 15]

I am still a newbies..and have yet to find a couple, but I think I prefer someone with some experience and patiences. I think if they have to much experience they might scare the heck out of me but with no experience might make it to akward for all who is involved, especially if dont even know how to start...

[goldcpl 15]

our first experience was with another newbie couple we met in yahoo chat room

but our first experience turned out to be rather boring

we just did not know what to do where to start and were too nervous

so we would like our next swinging to be with a well experienced team

[raem608 15]

I think I would like someone that pretty much knows what they are doing

[outofbounds 48]

I will cast my vote for the experienced swingers... My husband and I are very new at this and we had our very first playdate ever (!) with another couple this past weekend. We both know the gentleman involved and I had met his girlfriend several times but my husband just met her the night before the party. They have been in the lifestyle together for 5 years and are very comfortable people. There was no pressure, my husband and I had drinks with her the night before, then he joined us for dinner the next night and we all retired to a hotel room together for hours of fun. Because we took our cues from them and they payed very close attention to our comfort level, everything moved along at a nice pace and no one was rushed or nervous. We played a while, then hit the hot tub, then played some more... We got a text at 2 am about Bin Laden and even turned on CNN to watch together!

 

I think personality is a lot more important than experience but for my own comfort, I want to know that they know what they are doing and they will be in control of their feelings and jealousies and actions. I want to be sure that they are sure.

[yngcouple116 15]

I think I would be more comfortable with someone experienced since I am a newbie myself

[timnsara 15]

I am still a newbies..and have yet to find a couple, but I think I prefer someone with some experience and patiences. I think if they have to much experience they might scare the heck out of me but with no experience might make it to akward for all who is involved, especially if dont even know how to start...

 

The best advise I can give is to start by TALKING TALKING and did I say TALKING? Talk about what you want as a couple and lay down your Own set of rules that you can live with. M&G's are a great way to meet like minded people, and to talk. Also know that the "Little green monster" may peek his head up once in awhile, and again, TALK, change your rules as you need, and have a good time. After all, this is about having fun.