Married Women Swinging Alone

[lookingfornow 116]

Posted the question by mistake to the singles board. It is actually directed to the broader population...

 

Clearly, married males swinging alone are suspect and, if cheating, are pariahs in the view of many on this board. But, what about married females swinging alone? Does the desire to find a willing unicorn outweigh other considerations?

 

Also, we all know that there are a lot of married males masquerading as singles swinging. Are you or do you know of a married woman that swings alone? Do you or do they have their husband’s permission to play?

[Chicup 41]

I value my life to highly to cheat with a married woman. Some men wouldn't take to kindly to that and quite frankly its not worth finding out shes married to a type AA.

[lookingfornow 116]

LOL LOL again. What a great response!

[Spoomonkey 421]

We actually see a TON of "single" women who are really "stepping out" to a place where they are almost guaranteed to get a lot of attention. But - ask yourself something... If she needs to go to a place where she can guarantee herself attention, just exactly how "attractive" is she?

 

But - I digress...

 

I have to admit - a woman playing behind her husband's back is very likely to get less rejection than a cheating husband - but that is simply another benefit of supply and demand; just the same as a real single woman is going to have it easier than a real single male. It is not fair, but that's life.

 

Philosophically, however, no... There is zero difference. A woman cheating on her husband is exactly the same as a husband cheating on his wife - with all the potential problems, complications and homocidal outcomes. And we personally do not view them any differently because we know that the "myth" of the unicorn is just that - and there are plenty of single females out there - and, YES, even attractive ones! They really do exist!

 

And you don't have to bend your ethics to realize that MFF fantasy...

 

There is actually a couple of ladies who come to our club. One came with her fiance for a while, but he was too jealous to swing, so they stopped... Except she really liked the idea of getting laid (not something that was going to happen readily to her for aesthetic reasons, if you catch my drift) so she kept coming - behind his back - which made things really, really awkward (since we still saw him ocassionally).

 

He probably should have seen it coming though, since THEY as a couple would bring a female friend of hers who was married, similarly challenged in an aesthetic way, and eager to talk with anyone who'd listen about her limp-dicked husband who couldn't get her off (sure, he had a good job and could keep her well fed - but that getting her off part... He didn't have that skill...).

 

Now these two women come together, catting around for single men, and I have to tell you - they completely creep me out. It is not just the aesthetic thing either - it is the fact that I know they are married and I know they are a mess. If these two women were higher on the trusty 1-10 scale (and they'd both need a 13 to get to 6) I still wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.

 

I think knowing one of the guys who is being cheated on (he has moved out of town and is working on bringing his lovely wife with him :rollseyes Otherwise, I'd probably invite him out for beers and "slip up" and mention seeing her at the club) makes the whole thing that much more vile to me...

 

Cheating is cheating is cheating...

 

There is just no way - in my mind to put a positive spin on it. Sure, marriages fail and fall apart. That I can understand. But take care of your business at home first.... Then come join the club as a single...

 

Spoomonkey

[Chicup 41]

copied from deleted thread

I value my life to highly to cheat with a married woman. Some men wouldn't take to kindly to that and quite frankly its not worth finding out shes married to a type AA.

[Califblonde 15]

I have to interupt here for a minute.I need to put my two cents in. NOT ALL women that play alone are "cheating". BI women sometimes have husbands that are willing to have them go out with other women for sex. Hubby is aware and to me that makes it NOT cheating. In our case, we are not "true" swingers, we have an open marriage, we are both able to have sex (when and if we want to) with others. We started as "regular" swingers, but soon found that we both craved different things from our extracurricular activities.So hence, we now can do our own thing if we want or not. We do also still play with others together . And we have a great sex life together. I do it just for occasional variety. As for why am I here to find playmates? cuz its real easy to find them here. When i go out alone ,I do not like to go very far from home, mostly for safety reasons.And there are few places close to home to go to pick up someone, and still be discreat . simple for me. any way ,thanks for letting me put my thoughts here. Married female that "swings "alone.

[Spoomonkey 421]

NOT ALL women that play alone are "cheating".

 

Absolutely not. The key here though is that your husband knows what you are doing. If he didn't, it would be cheating, no? And that is what we were discussing - women cheating to swing alone. There absolutely is a difference - you are 100% right.

 

Spoomonkey

[good times 991]

I agree with what the others have said, and personally we avoid all cheaters equally. The fact is though, we have seen married women playing alone with and without their husbands knowledge, same with men, we have even seen couples that are "married, but not to each other". We have even unwhittingly played with one of the later before we found out they weren't husband and wife. We found out when the female showed up at the club with her "real" husband and asked us not to say anything to him about knowing her previously. Our answer to her was "If you don't want us to say anything then you better make sure he doesn't talk to us, because we won't lie for you."

 

I once read something somewhere that has always stuck with me, even though I don't know how much truth their is to it, about spouses that were cheated on that resorted to homocide. It went something like this, "If a man is caught cheating by his wife she will usually just shoot him, If a husband catches his wife cheating he will usually shoot them both."

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I once read something somewhere that has always stuck with me, even though I don't know how much truth their is to it, about spouses that were cheated on that resorted to homocide. It went something like this, "If a man is caught cheating by his wife she will usually just shoot him, If a husband catches his wife cheating he will usually shoot them both."

 

That's right. Guns don't kill people. Husbands that come home early kill people. There may actually be something to that.

 

Even though we've never played with a single female, I'm pretty sure a FMF is not worth risking life and limb over.

 

Pepper

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Unfortunately, I think the odds are even... whether the "single" is male or female, the odds are 50/50 that they are not really single.

 

The funny thing that I have noticed is that some couples are much more ok with a married female who plays alone (regardless of what her husband may feel about the situation) and are willing to take more risks in that situation than they would with a single guy.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

If it involves a Unicorn people are more willing to over look it.

 

If it's just another stray dog looking to hump something....

 

I would still be more worried about the husband of a cheater and maybe the wife of cheater also.

 

Bottom line, we don't play with cheaters.

[LFM2 1,482]

If it involves a Unicorn people are more willing to over look it.

 

I agree with this statement. Unicorns are just so rare that I think people will overlook their marital status just to get their rocks off. Dangerous as that may be.

 

We've known some married men who play as singles, but don't know of any married females that play as singles in our area.

 

Personally, we are a couple who prefer honesty. If we ever found out that one of our singles was a cheater, we'd drop them like a hot potato. Male or female.

[iapr 24]

Here's how I look at singles in general and I know it will ruffle some feathers and some will disagree and I also realize that there are always exceptions but sometimes some beliefs are so deeply ingrained you can't help it.

 

If a single, be it male or female, willingly enters or attempts to enter the lifestyle, the chances are they are open to some form of sexual activity.

In order for someone, be it a member of the opposite sex, a couple or even a member of the same sex, to be interested in them they will have to be somewhat attractive, pleasant, able to carry a conversation and able to relate on a somewhat personal level with someone.

 

Ok, so lets add this all up, if someone is interested in sexual matters, is attractive, is pleasant and is able to engage on a somewhat personal level to a degree adequate to get to a bedroom...do you really thing they are going to be truly single to begin with?

 

In other words if you find a single male or female attractive and worthy of entering your bedroom, the chances are pretty darn good that someone else out there is already sharing their bed with them and probably doesn't know of their extra curricular activities.

 

Yes I am saying that probably darn near all singles that are active in the lifestyle have some form of SO. And that SO may or may not know of their LS activities.

 

They may not be married or engaged and they may not have pledged their committment to their SO, so they may not be technically cheating but any single that is worth of inviting into your bed probably does not have a cold bed at home to begin with.

 

Just some food for thought.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I would like to think we are the exception here. We do play with singles. We are very selective because of all the IF's involved above. To be honest without cutting down clubs. None of our single playmates, were met in a club. Not in a (we have chemistry, lets have sex tonight and find out later way).

 

One male we know actually gave us his ex-wifes email, sls profile, and phone number. She honestly gave him a very good character reference. Their marriage problem/dissolution had nothing to do in the bedroom, swinging or cheating. It had to do with carriers more than anything. They actually do have a supportive/ best friend, attitude. Now they are reconciling and who knows, all of our paths may cross together.... We still consider we played with him as a non cheating single.....

 

The latest single male we played with has been in the lifestyle many years. He is quite honest about this with any and all single women he dates. He just lives on the other side of town and is well known. We are quite sure there is no cheating even with just his uncommitted significant otrhers... Since we have been out of commission over the last few months he has told us of someone he is dating now. There again, he would like for us to all meet..... We keep an open mind.

 

The females we have played with are very independent. They weren't looking for committed relationships at this time in their lives. They were looking for sex and companionship. Thats where we fit in. Our latest single female companion has now became more serious in a relationship. We have all agreed to stop our playing to see where this goes. No, he doesn't know all about us. But we cant hardly expect any single female to just spill the beans about us, its not fair to them. Swinging and our relationship in the lifestyle, is a shocker to most. It deserves to be explained in a positive manner. After all, it took us some time to sort it all out... As their relationship and commitment grows, thats between them. You know, that tell all conversation that should happen at the wright time. And knowing her, we are sure it will. We have to respect that. If we should become closer we will insist their significant others know about us.

 

Not trying to defend all singles here. I don't think its our place. But to be honest, playing with singles has been the most uncomplicated swinging we know so far. Out side of meeting couples at the clubs/house parties..... Thats a different thing for us entirely

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Are you or do you know of a married woman that swings alone? Do you or do they have their husband’s permission to play

 

Honestly, NO. We know of them, but have never had the opportunity. Not that we wouldn't it just hasn't happened. We always thought that would be a wonderful thing with less strings. It just never happened in reality for us. Last night we chatted briefly with a married woman playing alone with permission. When Mrs.fun asked if we could call on the phone.......... There was no response. End of chat......

[WesternSwing 504]

I also think that people will overlook the fact a woman is married more than a man being married. As others have pointed-out, the unicorn is just to rare a creature and I think many couples looking for a FMF will go for it because it may not come around again for awhile. Whereas single men looking to get laid with someone else's wife is a dime-a-dozen and if you turn one down there will be three more emailing you tomorrow. With women it's more a "take what you can get, when you can get it" situation whereas with men couples can be more selective.

 

That said, I find it easier for a married woman to get laid in general than it is for a married man. For instance, it is much easier for Mrs. WS to find a single guy playmate than it is for me to find a single female playmate. Single men get-off on the "cheating wife" fantasy, whether she is or not. Most single women seem to want more than just a roll in the hay. A married man represents a dead end relationship from the get-go. They can find plenty of sex with single guys, and maybe one of them will turn into more. Married men will always just be fuck-buddy and nothing more.

 

Mr. WS

[ncmd_couple 597]

Cheaters are cheaters, be they male or female.

 

Yes, I’m more tolerant of a married woman swinging alone than of a married male. I know of two Bi females that there husbands know they are Bi, accept it, but don’t want to know when they are with their girlfriends, even though in both cases the ladies have invited them for a FMF.

 

“L” has gone to our club as a single female; the club owner contacted me to make sure I was aware of her coming alone. She had a great time from what she told me. I have gone to the club as a single male, “L” made the reservation for me. And quite honestly, it sucked!

 

So yes, there are men and women who play alone with their spouse’s full knowledge and approval. But before I would play with either, I would have to know the whole story and have talked to the other spouse first.

 

S

[N&G 207]

Last night we chatted briefly with a married woman playing alone with permission. When Mrs.fun asked if we could call on the phone.......... There was no response. End of chat......

 

How do you know that it was a married woman? It as probably a guy.

[Malachista 170]

 

Ok, so lets add this all up, if someone is interested in sexual matters, is attractive, is pleasant and is able to engage on a somewhat personal level to a degree adequate to get to a bedroom...do you really thing they are going to be truly single to begin with?

 

 

You know, you really piss me of with your attitude

Guess what, but there are attractive, nice people out there who don't need to define themself by relationship status.

People thinking the way you do are actually far from open minded and respectful - they sound more like people who never were brave enough to chose an independent life and are now highly jealous of those who did make that choice

[fun4Ds 1,098]

How do you know that it was a married woman? It as probably a guy.

Well, we don't actually We may never know....

 

Your right, it does happen. We have found that for the most part women will take a much slower approach upon meeting and talk about things in a more, sensual way. We are not writing analysis experts. And have found many things can be misinterpreted through on line chats. Thats why we prefer to meet and socialize.

The female we contacted had a picture posted that caught our attention, so we inquired. The conversation was slow at best, but after a fifteen minute no response, we just closed out..... Sometimes we know unexpected things happen like company at the door, or a couple kids fighting over the game controller. People do walk away from the screen sometimes. We certainly have at times

 

We don't mind putting ourselves and our interests out there in the beginning on-line. She would be more than welcome to keep in contact if she chooses. Thats how we should leave it for now. Ya never know....

 

For us now, we are mending and going at a much slower pace sexually. We are at an enjoying each other stage now, but we are looking.

 

Like I say, We have never actually had the opportunity to play with committed couples who can and do, play separately.We find it interesting although we cant/wont/don't. So from this womans profile, we inquired. We aren't on the "hunt" for playmates on one hand. But sometimes we see a profile that strikes our interests. Something, sometimes that stands out. Where we can discover things about ourselves, as well as our new acquaintances and their intrests.....

[iapr 24]

You know, you really piss me of with your attitude

Guess what, but there are attractive, nice people out there who don't need to define themself by relationship status.

People thinking the way you do are actually far from open minded and respectful - they sound more like people who never were brave enough to chose an independent life and are now highly jealous of those who did make that choice

 

I'm not saying singles are bad or that someone is a lesser being than someone that is part of a couple. There are attractive and nice people out there who choose to be single...just not very many.

 

Most single people that are attractive and have good social

skills are either involved with someone to one degree or another or have some kind of temporary circumstance occuring such as divorce, widowhood, relocation etc. Very few people actually choose to permanently remain single as a lifestyle choice.

 

Within the lifestyle there are pretty much 3 broad catagories of singles, type 1 are single for reason and lack the physical attributes and social skills that make people desirable and they have turned to the lifestyle because they are striking out in the vanilla dating world and are hoping that it will be "easier" in the swinger world.

 

type 2 has encountered some kind of transient lifesyle change such as divorce or widowhood and are using their newfound freedom to step out of their box a little and try something new untill they meet a new mate again and return to the vanilla dating/marriage world. This person may or may not be attractive and desirable.

 

and type 3 is attractive and has social skills and is a desirable person but since they are desireable it often means that they have some form of SO to one degree or another.

 

How about if I reword my post and see if this is more palatable. If someone is desirable to a couple they are going to be desirable to other singles as well, both vanilla and lifestyle singles. If that type 3 single has an opportunity to go out with a couple or out with another single, I'd bet 'bout my last dollar they are going to go with the other single. And those are just the ones that are noncomitted and playing the field. The rest are probably downright cheating to one degree or another.

 

So in the end the couples that wish to play with singles are left with few choices. They can either pick up the leftovers that other singles don't want. Or they might find a single that is available for a short window of time before they get back into a traditional relationship again.

 

The remaining singles that are attractive and desirable are most likely already seeing other people or are actually committed and cheating. so bottom line is not many of the desirable singles are truly single. That is not a slam against singles, it's just a reality that couples and other singles in the lifestyle need to realize.

[AprilMike 16]

My wife swings solo.

[intensity_too 16]

That's right. Guns don't kill people. Husbands that come home early kill people. There may actually be something to that. Pepper

 

I have no real comment on the post, but Holy Hell Pepper!! This got me laughing so much!

[willyoats 324]

I was swinging solo with a married woman for a while. The four of us had been together as couples a few times. Then my wife didn't care to swing much any more. Apparently the other woman's husband has pretty much quit also. So the other woman and I continued to get together occasionally, maybe a half dozen times, always with my wife's full knowledge and I presume with the other husband's approval also.

 

It can work well under the right set of circumstances.

[campgirl2in1 74]

My wife has been out solo a few times. In fact it is kind of our thing, hotwife I guess is what it's called.

 

We have had MFM, she has been alone with a guy and also been alone with a girl.

 

I think with the growing hotwife scene you are going to see more and more married women looking to play with couples.

 

I will be waiting patiently at home.