Listening to vanillas diss those crazy swingers

[ohash01 20]

Last night we went out with 4 other couples for New Year's. We went to dinner, went to a bar, and then went back to someone's house. We had a great time. Once at the home, the topic of a bet between one of the couples came up, and basically it was, "If the wife lost this bet, the husband gets to have a 3some with her and another female of her choice." Then, everyone (with the exception of me and J.) gets into this conversation about how they just cannot understand those freaky people who like 3somes, 4somes, or moresomes. While we sit there smiling and nodding and sipping our drinks.

 

Has this happened to anyone else? Do you just get a teeny bit angry inside? I KNOW that swinging isn't for everyone, but even though no one knew about me and J., I felt a little discriminated against. How do you get used to knowing that half the people out there think you're a freak?

[gatorvol64 216]

I'm watching the Tennessee game and it is either pace or find something to do between plays. I'm going to have to say that my response here could be my mood.

 

I think these couples (especially the one making the bet) secretly would like to try a threesome. They all just then went on to say what was expected of them. And yes, it can be aggravating for someone to criticize what they know nothing about. I choose to not feel like a freak when this happens because we aren't. Sitting back and feeling sorry for them is a lot better. Not just because of the good sex we get through swinging but all the other things as well.

 

Now, I have to pace....this isn't working.

 

Vol

[rpu3 630]

Has this happened to anyone else? Do you just get a teeny bit angry inside? I KNOW that swinging isn't for everyone, but even though no one knew about me and J., I felt a little discriminated against. How do you get used to knowing that half the people out there think you're a freak?

 

Yep, it's happened and likely will continue to happen. I get pretty pissy on the inside, and unfortunately my face usually says what I'm feeling, so usually the spouse just gives me a wink and I tell myself "fuck 'em, they don't know what they are missing" and try to go blank.

 

I then tell myself that I can have whatever sexual relationships I want, as long as it works for all involved (spouse and the others involved) and it's not subject to judgment or commentary from anyone except those directly involved. Followed by another round of "Fuck 'em". I never claimed to be the most mature person on earth.

 

Rebecca

[havefuninsun 122]

I think these couples (especially the one making the bet) secretly would like to try a threesome. They all just then went on to say what was expected of them.

 

This is true -- I think sometimes people bring up "controversial" subjects just to see how others react. Like, if someone would have said, "yeah, I'd love to have a threesome!" the conversation would have gone a whole different direction instead of "eww -- who wants VARIETY in their sex life?" (sounds like an oxymoron to me).

 

I do think some feel it's a genuine threat to their marriage to include anyone in their bedroom -- these same people have some sort of marriage issue I'd bet.

[Second of 2 22]

Once at the home, the topic of a bet between one of the couples came up,

 

I can't help but believe this was a careful plant by the couple in quetion.

 

I've lost a lot bets to my wife, come to think of it she always wins, and "if" publically divulged they were done so in "chosen" company. We were either looking for a reaction or we were phissing.

 

I could be wrong but I wouldn't be surprised if I was right.

[WesternSwing 504]

Although most of our vanilla friends know about us, there are some (like neighbors) that we just couldn't come out to. Those are the ones that have at one time or another made off-hand negative comments about swingers, and yes, we just have to bite our tongue and grin and bear it.

 

I'll add though, that these are the same couples that the wives have talked to Mrs. WS during "girl talk" and they have some pretty dysfunctional sex lives. Most of them don't enjoy sex and as one put it "if we weren't trying to get pregnant right now I wouldn't give-in to him."

 

Now we have vanilla friends that know about us (well, I'd say more like rainbow sherbet since they are pretty horny and sexually open-minded people) that just say "I couldn't do it because I'm just too jealous. They don't judge, they just concede that although it obviously works for us, they know their limitations at this point in their life.

 

But it is frustrating. We've found ourselves gravitating more toward our swinger friends and less and less toward those friends like our neighbors because we really can't be who we are around them.

 

Mr. WS

[ohash01 20]

I can't help but believe this was a careful plant by the couple in quetion.

 

Hmmm...I didn't think of it that way. And you're right...they just kind of threw it out there and there was a second of pause...like everyone had to think about it...and THEN they all jumped in with commentary.

 

That's something to think about - the longer we're in this lifestyle the more I notice people acting "like us" and go "hmmm...I wonder..." And the couple in question are the ones that I knew the least out of everyone there, so it's possible they were looking for reaction

[intuition897 2,179]

That's something to think about - the longer we're in this lifestyle the more I notice people acting "like us" and go "hmmm...I wonder..." And the couple in question are the ones that I knew the least out of everyone there, so it's possible they were looking for reaction

 

That's called "playdar" ( ).

 

One of the reasons I try to avoid over-indulging at parties is because I thoroughly dislike having to hide the way we are because others can't handle it. It pisses of the idealist in me, and makes me want to rub their noses in it. Mr. intuition is just the other way around. NOTHING fazes him, and people could go on all day about how horrid swingers are and they wouldn't get a rise out of him. He's satisfied with knowing that he's right about what we do, and truly, truly does not give a shit what anyone else thinks about it. I say that I don't, but I have a problem: I like getting in the last word (anyone else noticed that?). I know, it's something I need to work on. It's not enough for me to know that I'm right; for some reason, I feel the undeniable desire to make sure that others know it. It's not becoming.

 

So like I said, I prefer to avoid drinking too much as it loosens my tongue a bit too much. My tongue is loose enough when I'm sober! I just try to follow Mr. intuition's example. We just exchange a glance and a wink, hide a smirk, maybe even throw in a "Yeah, what a bunch of wackos, eh? We don't know anyone like that!"

 

EDIT>> Wow! That sounded pretty pompous of me! To clarify: when I say that I am right, I guess I should have added that it is right in relation to Mr. intuition and me and our own life. Your mileage may vary.

[mrs good times 73]

We recently ran into a situation with a vanilla friend that new we were swingers but, and I quote, "I didn't know you were those kind of swingers".

 

To explain, I set up a swinger girlfriend with one of my non-swinger guy friends. Last week we all met at a swingers club for dinner and drinks. It was on a week night so the club was very mild but he was very nervous. We weren't sure he knew we were swingers but we figured it was time to find out for sure. When he made the statement about "those kind of swingers" our first response was what do you mean by that? He said, I knew you two went to other peoples home but I didn't know you picked up people in bars. Our response was that it is a lifestyle and either you are or your aren't a swinger. He didn't want to discuss it any further at that time but I hope now we will have an opportunity to educate him in the future.

 

I think most vanilla people really don't understand what swinging is and they have preconceived notions based on TV and porn.

[texasfans2003 16]

I am like Mr. Intuition. I just let 'em talk. It doesn't bother me. They don't know what they are talking about.

 

However, I do like to make comments about things just to get a reaction. For example, my wife and I are at a booth in a restaurant. We hear conversations going on all around. So when the waitress walks past us to a booth nearby, I will say to my wife "So your husband will be out of town for the whole weekend?" She will play along saying "Yeah, late Sunday night." I will say "You know I don't understand what you see in him. If you would just divorce him and take all his money, we could live a really good life." It's real entertainment watching out of the corner of our eyes to see the reactions of those around us.

 

But what does make me be like Mrs. Intuition, is for some "do-gooder" to interject themselves into my life to tell me how much they are offended by say nudist beaches. Of course, they had to drive miles to get there, then hike a couple of miles or more just to actually get to the beach, pass several signs warning them of a nude beach ahead. Then the SOB is sooooo offended. My response to them is "What if I drive to your town, park in your church parking lot, enter your church and get offended b/c everyone is running around with their hands in the air and shouting? Would you like it if I called the authorities?" Of course, they would be protected by their Constitutional right of Freedom of Religion. Then, I tell them that I have equal protection to live my life as I see fit and as long as I am not causing any harm to anyone or anything, they should just leave me alone.

 

In a recent event, my daughter and her two year old were in the mall. As two-year-olds do, she was getting out of hand so she got a light swat on her thick diaper. A man approached them saying they should not be hitting the child and threatening to report them to Child Protective Services. If I had been there, I would have asked him "Who invited you into our situation?" and given him an opportunity to leave. If he refused,I would tell him we can get mall security here by him continuing to harass us or him having to pick himself off the floor. His choice. Just don't tell me how to live my life and I won't tell you how to live yours. How does that go about checking for a splinter in my eye while you have a beam in your eye.

Both of us are teachers, so we don't say anything about swinging to anyone except those we swing with.

[prettylady 221]

.

texasfans2003 said:

If I had been there, I would have asked him "Who invited you into our situation?" and given him an opportunity to leave. If he refused,I would tell him we can get mall security here by him continuing to harass us or him having to pick himself off the floor.

 

I think we could be fast friends.

 

oops, I did have something to say, but I have forgotten now.

I will come back to it when I remember.

[intuition897 2,179]

texasfans2003 said:

How does that go about checking for a splinter in my eye while you have a beam in your eye.

 

Matthew 7:1-6

 

I like this passage actually reminds us all to remember our own place (as equals, not above or below anyone else) and reminds us to all just mind our own damn business.

 

I've tried arguing my beliefs about cheaters here on this board and elsewhere and my opponents demanded, how dare I judge them!? We swingers are SO judgmental, we who are supposed to be so openminded. Open-minded is one thing; permissive is another. Know what I say? I say you're damn right I'm going to judge! I'm comfortable being judged by the same yardstick, so what's their point?

 

Anyway, just a commentary on that passage. Back to our regularly scheduled program...

[EvilMJ 65]

The only time it has ever hurt me or upset me was the day my sister was describing her friend's boyfriend (who she hated). She said he was a slimy sick disgusting, perverted guy, a swinger too, you know those sleezebags. Which of course made me angry/hurt becuase she was basing her opinon of swingers on one guy. I wanted to say "hey I'm a swinger, do you think I am a sick sleezebag?"

 

Now I remember why I have never told my sister about our lifestyle. She probably wouldn't have handled it.

 

Sometimes I just find the comments funny. We have become close with our neighbours - we play cards every weekend, go on vacations together (we have kids the same age), etc. Usually when we get together there is a swinger/swinging comment thrown around jokingly. I am always tempted to say " why, do you wanna swing, cause I'm ready when you are " But I don't...bite tongue ...bite tongue

[padoc 1,703]

We really don't care what people think of our lifestyle choice. Those who judge us negatively are either uninformed or insecure. Either way, they don't know what they are missing. Our only regret about our choice to swing is that we discovered it in our 40's instead of our 20's. We missed at least 2 decades of fun..

[texasfans2003 16]

Intuition, I completely agree. I am perfectly willing to let others live and enjoy their life without any interference from me and I think it is very reasonable to expect the same in return. I don't push my values and beliefs on them and I expect them to not push theirs on me.

 

However, cheating is dishonesty. If dishonesty were acceptable, why are there so many complaints about bad officiating in sports? Why do we prosecute thieves? Stealing money, cars, etc are things that for the most part can be replaced. Stealing the trust, respect and emotions of another person, especially one's spouse, is much more damaging and is not as easily replaced. It is unconscionable and reprehensible.

[texasfans2003 16]

I forgot to include my complete agreement with padoc. I also wish we had discovered swinging when we were younger. That's two decades of fun we missed out on too!

[intuition897 2,179]

However, cheating is dishonesty. If dishonesty were acceptable, why are there so many complaints about bad officiating in sports? Why do we prosecute thieves? Stealing money, cars, etc are things that for the most part can be replaced. Stealing the trust, respect and emotions of another person, especially one's spouse, is much more damaging and is not as easily replaced. It is unconscionable and reprehensible.

 

BIG Dito !

[Second of 2 22]

intuition897 said:

I just try to follow Mr. intuition's example. We just exchange a glance and a wink, hide a smirk, maybe even throw in a "Yeah, what a bunch of wackos, eh? We don't know anyone like that!"

 

You and the Mr. sound just like my wife and I. I love this comment, we do it too just as a redirect.

 

We love to play with people's minds

[DBL D 120]

Dang! We are sooo protective of our private (sexual) lives that I don't think we'd ever be able to really communicate with vanillas over this. That's only fair.

 

Most people say they can take whatever their friends do and it doesn't bother them...but it isn't true. We all judge each other. But a person who is willing to let any and everything go just because it's their view wouldn't get along too well with me. I like good discussion and most people have made up their minds already which hurts that idea.

 

We have some great vanilla friends and have even told one of them that we are in the lifestyle. I think it made the friendship better from the standpoint that if they really wanted to, they'd see we aren't really all that different from them...We've just decided to act on some of our darker impulses and enjoy the company of strangers once in a while.

 

I think I might have pursued the OP's friends on this one though. Nothin like setting the record straight. You have to admit that you swing to do that. You just happen to have inside information on the topic.

 

Male D

[michelle101 15]

My best friend and I had a conversation one day about swinging. A couple she knew had asked her and another friend of hers several times to play with them. Not really taking no for an answer. Anyway, she launched into how swinging wouldn't help repair your sex life, and if your marriage was so bad, and you both wanted to have sex with others, you shouldn't have married in the first place. She truly thinks you must have a terrible marriage to swing.

 

Wow! Was that ever hard to hold my tounge! I asked her if she ever had sexual fantacies that included other people. I told her that I had. She said fantacies are in your head, and that was different. I sooo badly wanted to tell her that fantacies could come true. I feel like I want to defend swinging, and the fact that a marriage has to be rock solid with an awesome sex life, to truly enjoy swinging for what it is. An awesome shared sexual experience with my husband.

[WesternSwing 504]

My best friend and I had a conversation one day about swinging. A couple she knew had asked her and another friend of hers several times to play with them. Not really taking no for an answer. Anyway, she launched into how swinging wouldn't help repair your sex life, and if your marriage was so bad, and you both wanted to have sex with others, you shouldn't have married in the first place. She truly thinks you must have a terrible marriage to swing.

That's because she has bought into the idea that one person can be all you'll ever need the rest of your life to fulfill every need you could ever have. People like this are usually disappointed ten years or so into their marriage.

 

Trying to explain it to someone like this is like trying to explain the rush and thrill of skydiving to someone who's never done it, and worse yet, afraid of heights. You can't. Their fears and personal biases about it get in the way of them even trying to understand. They just think you're crazy for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.

 

Mr. WS

[intuition897 2,179]

That's because she has bought into the idea that one person can be all you'll ever need the rest of your life to fulfill every need you could ever have. People like this are usually disappointed ten years or so into their marriage.

 

Trying to explain it to someone like this is like trying to explain the rush and thrill of skydiving to someone who's never done it, and worse yet, afraid of heights. You can't. Their fears and personal biases about it get in the way of them even trying to understand. They just think you're crazy for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.

 

Mr. WS

 

That was perfect, WS! That's it exactly. Alura had a saying about explaining the joys of riding a Harley. To those who have experienced it, no explanation is necessary. To those who haven't, no explanation is possible.

 

How do you explain good karma resulting from a life of philanthropy to a money-hungry miser?

 

Explaining colour to someone who has been blind since birth?

 

Or sound to someone who is deaf?

[TheSwingerSet 205]

This topic really interests me because We deal with it all the time, when setting up events at hotels and such we are open about what kind of event we are having so as not to get a homophobe as a bartender or a waitress who is close minded, also we want to make sure that the staff knows about discretion.

 

In our personal lives we have been outed to the PTA and the youth hockey association and some of them have questioned us openly about it with true interest in our lifestyle and other have said evil things about us, the ones who want to honestly know more we talk to and the assholes we ignore.

 

When we are out in public or with vanilla friends who don't know about us and someone makes a anti-swinger comment I will always ask them how they feel about homosexuals, the handicapped and minorities just to see if they are also bigoted in those areas. In most cases they are not and just ill-informed about swingers as a whole and not understanding causes them to fear us to some extent, the fear of the unknown is hard to over come, but as good swinger and being outspoken, we find it to be our duty to pass along good information on the subject.

 

It is funny however that when a acquaintance finds out that we are swingers the first thing I say to them is "see we don't have fangs and eat small children, we save that for the grown-ups"

[intuition897 2,179]

TheSwingerSet said:

In our personal lives we have been outed to the PTA and the youth hockey assc. and some of them have questioned us openly about it with true interest in our lifestyle and other have said evil things about us, the ones who want to honestly know more we talk to and the assholes we ignore.

We've never been outed (yet) to anyone who we didn't want to know. It's probably not as bad as we think, but it could put some serious wrinkles in life as we know it. We've had some pretty thick-headed and vicious comments aimed at us online, but nothing in our offline life. That must really suck.

 

TheSwingerSet said:

In most cases they are not and just ill-informed about swingers as a whole and not understanding causes them to fear us to some extent, the fear of the unknown is hard to over come, but as good swinger and being outspoken, we find it to be our duty to pass along good information on the subject.

 

I feel the same way. I mean you can just SEE it. It's not that the assholes are necessarily bad people; they're just ignorant and fearful. More knowledge = less fear. So I feel compelled to share any truths that I find. Truth doesn't hurt if one is living right. We're happy with our life because for the first time in our lives, we're living the way we're supposed to live because it's the right thing to do. We're not living in conflict with our beliefs. Many people do and I think they don't realize that they have a choice.

[wifes_sex_slave 16]

Do you just get a teeny bit angry inside? I KNOW that swinging isn't for everyone, but even though no one knew about me and J., I felt a little discriminated against. How do you get used to knowing that half the people out there think you're a freak?

I would not be hurt, discriminated against or any other unnecessary negative feeling. Instead, flashes of warmth would race through my mind for all the fun we are having. I think that the Mrs and I would just look at each other with a well hidden, inside smile, that only our eyes would know.

[Second of 2 22]

We've never been outed (yet) to anyone who we didn't want to know.

 

Neither have we, but many people think my wife and I are strange for a lot other reasons anyway. They would probably just shrug it off as just being who we are.

[ohash01 20]

Actually in another thread I had recently, we have been outed. To people from back home, not to people in Columbus. It sucked...but it wasn't life-altering. We were mostly able to laugh it off with the "yeah right...we WISH we were that adventurous". We're kind of waiting to see if there's any backlash, but as this was about 3 weeks ago, I don't think there will be.

 

I don't mind at all when people talk about swinging...I mind it when they talk abut me doing it.

[Mr. Truelove 81]

I've had a co-worker say, "What are you? Swingers?" Wow, I'm glad I played that off well.

 

A vanilla friend of mine was joking around with Mrs. Truelove a few weeks ago and said, "At least you guys don't do anything weird like go to swing clubs...." But we were far too drunk to keep the laughing in... So we got outed to him. But he's been a good sport about it, and actually asks questions and talks to us about it. It's been real fun.

 

Countless conversations about swinging have occurred at work. But I've been able to just go with the conversations on those. But they usually talk about how bad it is and so forth. Kind of bothers me, but I won't voice my opinion on it.

 

Mr. Truelove

[Lovethenights 35]

We've not been revealed as swingers, as we've been very secretive about it since we still have a child at home, to whom I would hate to attempt explaining our indulgence of the desire to experience non-monogamous sexuality. After she leaves, there'll be less pressure and I wouldn't have any qualms about it, but my wife (the more intelligent partner in our twosome) has been with friends who've whispered and hissed about other couples who were rumoured to be "Swingers." (horrors and yee-gods!) I think seeing those episodes of witnessing scorn and condemnation may have made her much more sensitive to the issues of being exposed to the outside world. As a consequence, we sit quietly and keep our mouths shut when the topic comes up. We also reply generically to the "Where did you go on your vacation?" question by saying, "Cancun," when we've spent a fabulous week down at Desire.

[sereneiders 263]

Things like this one happened to us as well. It called our attention that this sort of subjects wasn't bring up so often by vanilla friends around us before we started swinging. Given that we keep ourselves in the closet about this, we began to suppose we're emitting some sort of vibes allowing others to bring up the subject.

 

Anyway, most of those comments exposes a lot of prejudices about swinging, not necesarily in a discriminating way, but you have the feeling that you'd have to give a lot of explanations as to prepare the grounds to just start talking seriously about the lifestyle. Some comments are discriminating and you can tell there's no way you can try to correct those prejudices without paying a price you don't want to pay.

 

In any case, and this happens even when people talk about vanilla relationships, once we started swinging it happened to us that most of the world became "flat", and the lifestyle gave us a tridimensinal perspective about the same wold every vanilla guy around us is seeing as flat.

 

So, when something like this happens to us, we find ourselves looking into each other eyes and smiling, without saying a word... as if we were surrounded by kids talking about adults things they doesn't understand and they're still not prepared to as to try to explain.

[gatorvol64 216]

.. as if we were surrounded by kids talking about adults things they doesn't understand...

Yes, that about describes the situation, doesn't it? Thanks.

 

Vol

[DBL D 120]

Anyway, most of those comments exposes a lot of prejudices about swinging, not necesarily in a discriminating way, but you have the feeling that you'd have to give a lot of explanations as to prepare the grounds to just start talking seriously about the lifestyle. Some comments are discriminating and you can tell there's no way you can try to correct those prejudices without paying a price you don't want to pay.

 

Sereneiders, you are a precious commodity.

 

We're not talking about using "Shock & Awe" here to prepare the ground. Most people who bring up swinging, but are unprepared to really talk about it, remind me of the people who ask you how one is doing, but don't really want to know all of the details.

Funny what they end up doing is exposing their prejudices, and hope they are in the majority so they won't have to really get into an in-depth discussion. Like the guys at work who listen to what we call hate radio. Lot's of us may voice our objection to having to listen to it every day. They just give you this glassy stare...like "Aw, we've almost got you" and leave it on.

 

In any case, and this happens even when people talk about vanilla relationships, once we started swinging it happened to us that most of the world became "flat", and the lifestyle gave us a tridimensinal perspective about the same wold every vanilla guy around us is seeing as flat.

 

I understand this completely and it's the same way with anything you know better or more about than your neighbor. You have to be a great teacher to include some education without endangering the relationship.

 

Male D

[WesternSwing 504]

We were at my step-brother's home last week to visit my other step-brother before he headed back home out-of-state with his family. They were married in Reno and were reminiscing about the trip and made a crack about a swingers convention being at the same casino/hotel they stayed at.

 

This could have been bad, but my local step-brother and his wife dabble in the lifestyle here and there, have had poly relationships and Mrs. WS came out to them last fall. So alls well that ends well.

 

Mr. WS

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

last year we had a Halloween party and us and one other couple are swingers, the rest were vanillas.... and the rest had all been at a (vanilla) NYE party a couple of years ago where the female half of another couple (who are friends with the couple who was at our party) openly had sex with half the guys there (including a GB). This NYE party has been a hot topic ever since.... so here we sat at my Halloween party listening to the other side of the room go on an about how "her" knowing full well that our other friends are friends of hers.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

I thought vanillas were more open-minded....

[TheDeal 117]

I really don't consider us "swingers", however it's very hard to hang with vanillas. We really really like being able to be open and flirt and not worry if we're being too amorous or dropping too many innuendos. It's too bad sex in America has such a taboo side that we even have to have these private clubs and communities. It would be nice if everyone could just be cool and those that go all the way and hookup do, and those that just flirt and don't, don't. OK, it is fun sometimes to hang with another swinger couple while a bunch of vanillas are around. You can push the envelope enough to make them gossip and question. I guess that's bad, huh?

[pervgeeks 119]

What really pisses people off who want to speak negatively about swingers, BDSMers, gay people, or anyone who differs from their strait, vanilla-ness is, "I don't really think about what other people do much. We're so happy with our own sex life and it's really none of my business." It puts them on the defensive and points out the truth: it's insecurity that makes people disparage differences, nothing more.

[lustylearning 705]

What really pisses people off who want to speak negatively about swingers, BDSMers, gay people, or anyone who differs from their strait, vanilla-ness is, "I don't really think about what other people do much. We're so happy with our own sex life and it's really none of my business." It puts them on the defensive and points out the truth: it's insecurity that makes people disparage differences, nothing more.

 

Bravo.

[knb2004 364]

With the exception of certain family members, and employment related contacts, we make very little secret of our lifestyle. Nobody who would be negatively judgmental about the topic is deserving of the title of friend.

 

We met with about 4 or 5 other couples last night at a local hotel. Gathered in the lobby bar until everyone was there. As we were getting ready to go upstairs, someone not in our group heard something that set his radar off, and he leaned over and said "Are you guys having an orgy?!?" One of the ladies replied, "Yeah, a big, hot, wet one", and 2 minutes later we all went upstairs. I bet a dollar to a donut hole those guys sat there for 3 hours going "You think she meant that???"

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

With the exception of certain family members, and employment related contacts, we make very little secret of our lifestyle. Nobody who would be negatively judgmental about the topic is deserving of the title of friend.

 

We met with about 4 or 5 other couples last night at a local hotel. Gathered in the lobby bar until everyone was there. As we were getting ready to go upstairs, someone not in our group heard something that set his radar off, and he leaned over and said "Are you guys having an orgy?!?" One of the ladies replied, "Yeah, a big, hot, wet one", and 2 minutes later we all went upstairs. I bet a dollar to a donut hole those guys sat there for 3 hours going "You think she meant that???"

 

Not nearly as good as your story, but we went to a haunted house last night and as we were walking through I would occasionally make comments about things (I'm a smart ass) when one of the "actors" (that appeared to be a fairly cute girl) got up in my face to scare me. I looked her in the eye and said "ya wanna make out?" as we continued on. She came back to me a minute or so later and said in her scary voice "YES".... we're still wondering if she would have if we'd not moved on.

[PB&J 1,086]

At a party at my place this summer, my elderly mother, older sister, and a good older friend who is fairly open-minded, but still very vanilla, started talking about first gays in bathhouses having 17 partners a night. I made a flip comment about how that was too many, but 3 seemed quite reasonable. Then it morphed into how some straight people- gasp! had them there key parties and suchlike things. My response to that was that I'd want more control over whom I was going to play with than grabbing keys out of a fishbowl.

 

The beauty was my comments were all perfectly accurate. It passed off without any more comment or sideways looks from those assembled- thank God.

[Thrax 384]

In early 2008, my barber of about four years went on hiatus long enough that I had to find someone new. (Ladies, you don't know how difficult this can be for some guys..."Really...I WANT my hair to be cut the same way it has been cut for the last 30 years!")

 

I think I was pretty lucky that I found a barbershop two miles closer to home and which charged a dollar less than my previous head-shearer! Woooohoooo!

 

The shop had signs for a specific political candidate in some places, but political talk wasn't common unless some of the patrons were really interested, although it was obvious that politically, the barbers leaned very heavily to one side of the political spectrum.

 

No problem with me. As long as someone isn't in my face, they don't insult people, treat all of their customers with respect, etc., and can provide the reasonable service I require, then I'm okay with that. It turned out the two barbers were both very personable, knew how to cut hair, and one grew up just a few miles from me in Central PA.

 

Anyway, I went in for a haircut about two months ago and there was just the one barber (approx. 60-y.o.-guy, originally from Central PA) in the shop, and his client. The guy in the chair was prolly in his 40's.

 

The barber (on his third marriage...really!) and the guy in the chair were discussing the dating prospects of the latter. The guy in the chair was describing his efforts w/re dating and somehow -- I was reading the newspaper, so I had'nt been concentrating on their conversation -- dating-guy and the barber were talking about people that they knew who tried swinging.

 

Most of the conversation -- some of which I couldn't hear because of the radio -- was geared toward the "couples must be farked up if they need to bring swinging into a marriage".

 

Unfortunately, I'm not a person who immediately reacts well to respond to comments like that. Consequently, I held my tongue and talked about other things during MY haircut. However, in the future, if the topic comes up I can detail my encounter with some "real swingers at a big party I attended..."

 

I hope.

 

An unrelated thang:

I was at the liquor store recently, waiting in line. The stereotypical sweet-little-old-lady (at LEAST 75-y.o., maybe older, and dressed to the nines, smelled nice, and was wearing jewelry that I'd LOVE to put on eBay) in front of me finally reached the cashier to ask a question: "Where can I find the Menage-a-Trois?

 

No, she didn't mention that particular brand of wine. I guess that was understood.

 

The cashier was very helpful in pointing out exactly where the M-a-T wine was located.

 

I was trying to hide a grin. The 30-ish guy behind me finally said, "She must be almost 100, but that's still cool!" I said, "I hope I'm still that active at that age..."

 

The cashier and the other customer laughed. I hope they eventually realize that I was serious.

 

I guess we all need to promote the lifestyle in whatever way we can!

 

Thrax