What terminology do use to describe yourself?

[OhioCouple 40]

What terminology do use to describe yourself?

 

It seems that there are just as many terms for this "thing" that we do as there are for those that describe themselves as bi-sexual. And each of the terms seem to mean different things to different people. I have heard a lot recently the following things.

 

A Swapper is an outdated term from the 50's and is exclusive to those that actually swap with other couples.

 

A Swinger is one that plays with both singles and couples and is the modernized term.

 

A Lifestylist is one that considers themselves as being devoted to swinging and is the most modernized term. But yet many do not use that term as they don't consider it a priority in their lives (which is how the view that term).

 

A Poly is committed solely to the same partners.

 

Please vote in the poll and then tell us whatever you voted for means to you.

 

We describe ourselves as swingers. How do you describe yourself?

 

 

Don't you guys just love all these bizarre questions? I really need a life.

[yhungry 15]

A Swinger is one that plays with both singles and couples and is the modernized term.

 

We describe ourselves as swingers. How do you describe yourself? [/b]

 

This thread is going to open Pandora's box. You say that you are swingers and by your definition a swinger plays with both singles and couples.

 

You have also said in other threads that you will not swing with single men. Or is it just single women that ya all play with?

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by yhungry

This thread is going to open Pandora's box. You say that you are swingers and by your definition a swinger plays with both singles and couples.

Actually it wasn't my definition, but one that I have heard repeatedly. Since we had considered single males (though in the last few days I am now real opposed to it for many reasons) and we originally began seeking the elusive single female, I feel we are swingers as opposed to swappers.

 

The definitions I gave were based on what I have read lately, not my own. It is just another one of those questions that I am trying to understand.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Good question. I think that your descriptions will confuse people tho. Because while they use one term, they may feel they have to select a different answer because of your descriptions... when in reality the question is "How do YOU describe yourself", not "which term fits you best".

[Chicup 41]

swing·er ( P ) Pronunciation Key (swngr)

n.

1-One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.

Slang.

2-A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.

3-A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.

4-A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.

 

We are swingers, version 4

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Good question. I think that your descriptions will confuse people tho. Because while they use one term, they may feel they have to select a different answer because of your descriptions.... when in reality the question is "How do YOU describe yourself", not "which term fits you best".

Actually that is why I asked people to come back and say what their perceptions were in addition to the poll. It is just another one of these things that boggles my mind since it means so many different things to everybody.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

People that just have a lot of sex are also referred to as swingers. I guess the GAD (generally accepted description), lol, would be a couple that has sex with other couples and/or singles. Or a single that has sex with couples although the latter is often debated amongst "pure" swingers...

 

Then it boils down to what type of swinger you are. This is a good thread because I don't think some swingers are even categorized. Newbies often have a vision of swinging that doesn't even exist so categorization and definition are really important...great thread Lori, John.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

OH, and what am I now? I guess I am a swinging advocate. I have decided to step out of any physical participation until I get my head screwed back on. John.

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

OH, and what am I now?

Well John, I suppose you are an *other*, meaning another* open-minded caring person.

[Lorrie 21]

I'm Polyamorous!

[WesternSwing 504]

We call ourselves "opportunistic swingers". We swing when the opportunity presents itself.

[good times 991]

I picked swingers, and define that term as someone who has sex with people other than their partner with their partners consent.

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

Boy can this all get confusing or what!!

 

I voted that we are Swingers but we use the term lifestyle or lifestylers also. For the swinger term I'd define us as having sex with couples (mostly) and singles. We, by OhioCouple's found definition, are not lifestylists in that we are not "devoted' to swinging.

 

We use 'lifestylers' to define the fact that we are swingers and prefer to widen our field of friendship to include more swingers/lifestylers. We feel more ourselves around swingers and people in the lifestyle so to speak whether or not we actually "play" or are just good friends. There is a certain freedom that you have in conversation etc. with lifestyle friends that you don't and can't have with anyone else (i.e. co-workers, family, vanilla friends).

 

Anyway that's my help on confusing the definitions even more

[AlmostHuman 16]

I chose "other". I always say we have a cool little hobby and that we have not had the time to make it into a lifestyle.

[2New2it 19]

Erotic recreationalists.

[4lifesaparty 15]

I would say we are actually swappers according to the definition given. We don't do singles at all and only get with couples. Of course there are times that the female half of the couple will sit and watch as both her half and mine will be focusing on me.

[cumply21 16]

We are swingers. We play with couples and single males and females. We do sometimes refer to being "in the lifestyle" though.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

We when we tell people we refer to ourselves as swingers. Usually we only do things with couples only, but on some occasions we do get together with single men and single women.

[TeamSoBe 36]

We have learned to resist labels. We have friends who we have sex with, all people need to know.

 

We feel this way because we have learned that a lot of people hear the term "swinger" and think that you'll have sex with just anybody who comes along. They will get too forward and you have to beat them off and then they are left going "what, I thought you were swingers?" Happens a lot to us.

 

The only label that we will allow is "libertines". If American friends get confused about 'hey aren't you guys married? what's that about having a date this weekend then?' then we normally just avoid discussing it. We're open about the sex we just don't like to allow it to end up at a label. Our European friends are normally not so presumptuous as to think that we're going to have sex with them just because we do with some people, so when European friends ask 'oh, so you're a libertine couple?' then we'll say yeah, exactly.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

We call ourselves swingers. The couple who "broke us in" said that they don't really classify themselves as swingers, or in the lifestyle, but yet, we full swapped with them. I think people are sometimes reluctant to call themselves swingers or lifestylers because of the connotation. Even Drew tried that. He said that we weren't really swingers. I said, sure, we're not swingers, we just have sex with people other than our spouses in front of them and with full permission. He got my point.

[F16AV8R 18]

Why the need for a label? We are two adults who love each other. Occasionally we enjoy adding someome or another couple into the mix. We are not swappers, swingers, etc...we are adults who enjoy a great sex life. Let's stop the labeling.

[Vespertine 31]

We are "Players".

 

Team Players to be exact.

[flkeyscouple 21]

Bringing an old poll to the front again.....

 

I answered 'swingers' but actually I don't think we normally REFER to ourselves as ANY of those terms. I seldom will say 'we are swingers' because if it's someone that I would talk to about that subject, they probably already know!!

[Tybee Swing 286]

What terminology do use to describe yourself?

 

We consider ourselves swingers. We use the term "the lifestyle" when we're referring to "the swing community".

 

A Swinger is one that plays with both singles and couples and is the modernized term.

 

While we do play with singles sometimes (much less frequently than couples), we believe that anybody who swings/plays with other couples and not singles is a swinger, too - if that's what they want to call themselves.

 

A Poly is commited soley to the same partners.

 

We've known of couples who aren't emotionally committed (polyamorous) with another couple, but they swing with one select couple primarily so that they can all go bareback together without risk, and because they prefer friendship. It's not love, it's just swinging exclusively, if that makes sense. They called themselves swingers and not poly. So I guess it's possible to not be polyamorous and be with just one couple.

[Guest MrsVan]

Well, I voted before I read your directions but I voted for "Swingers". I voted for this because MrVan and I play with couples and singles, therefore we would fall into your definition. We also use the term "lifestyle" when speaking with other's within the lifestyle.

[SouthBond 18]

According to this and the fact that we play have played with the same two other couples for nearly 5 years, we must be those Poly things. We don't live together or represent ourselves as being a family unit. My wife is my wife and the others have their own spouse. But we have done some pretty kinky things together. We like to think of it as a form of therapy for our sexual good health. No, we are not Poly, just close and very horny friends helping each other make it through the night.

[Darkblue 55]

Swingers, that's the only term that's used here!! even though we don't do singles.

 

Cant say that we have ever though of being called anything else than swingers!!

[rpu3 630]

I guess the label isn't that important to us right now. At the moment, we call ourselves "opportunists". If there's an opportunity to have some fun, we are there. As we become more experienced, I will likely rethink the label for myself, at least.

[cupl4fun 361]

sexually liberated.

[imsherona2 15]

swing·er ( P ) Pronunciation Key (swngr)

n.

1-One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.

Slang.

2-A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.

3-A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.

4-A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.

 

We are swingers, version 4

 

Yep, that describes us as well!!

[socolais 696]

I like it when some of these old threads get resurected and I read old comments from folks that are still active here. I see an interesting contrast between then and now. I find myself following a similar curve as my perceptions and preferences change over time.

 

I think of ourselves as swingers although I think I haven't actually described us like that outside this forum. We haven't played with singles yet, but it's an option we'll consider when the opportunity presents itself. I think "swappers" also applies to us and we enjoy soft swapping as much as full swapping.

 

One thing I've noticed with these labels is that we tend to apply the lable that represents an activity or mindset closest to the hard-core end of the spectrum. If someone says they're soft swappers then you easily assume full swap is off the menu while if someone says they're full swappers, that still leaves the question about their soft swapping preferences or if they may consider tamer options. Metaphorically, it's something like a ladder with hard-core at the top. We can easily assume one wouldn't be uncomfortable with activities from a lower rung and we might wonder if they still enjoy lower rung activities. It's also interesting that sometimes it's desirable to not appear to be too high on the ladder because at some level, hard-core swinging/swapping has a negative stigma. I think some folks avoid the term lifestyle because of a similar stigma.

[wewannabebad2 85]

I voted "swinger" because we are interested in both couples and singles. As hubby says "we are equal opportunity fuckers."

[MN hotdish 15]

We really don't call our selves anything outwardly, we're just "us".

 

When we're talking to each other, we seem to mostly refer to ourselves as "open"...I think just meaning that we're open minded & open to "non-conventional" sex..

We should probably come up w/ a better description though, as "open" is more of a term for people who are "allowed" to "cheat", and that's definitely NOT the case.

[Vjklander 138]

We just consider it 'sharing pleasures'. I'm really an anti-labelist.

[Trace Ekies 186]

SLUT is the word...if you want to be technical.

 

In the end, we're opportunists who seek excitement through sex with friends and people who aren't yet friends. The only requirement we have is that our friends or friends-to-be be swingers prior to our swinging with them.

 

Simple, right?

[crazi429 16]

What terminology do use to describe yourself?

 

It seems that there are just as many terms for this "thing" that we do as there are for those that describe themselves as bi-sexual. And each of the terms seem to mean different things to different people. I have heard a lot recently the following things.

 

A Swapper is an outdated term from the 50's and is exclusive to those that actually swap with other couples.

 

A Swinger is one that plays with both singles and couples and is the modernized term.

 

A Lifestylist is one that considers themselves as being devoted to swinging and is the most modernized term. But yet many do not use that term as they don't consider it a priority in their lives (which is how the view that term).

 

A Poly is commited soley to the same partners.

 

Please vote in the poll and then tell us whatever you voted for means to you.

 

We describe ourselves as swingers. How do you describe yourself?

 

 

Don't you guys just love all these bizarre questions? I really need a life.

 

Lori

 

I voted Open as we are new and only just starting. I figure we will be in the swinger area. I leave it open as currently I have no problem with her going out and getting layed without me as long as she tells me about it. Once I get healthy and the ED under control I hope to be full out swingers. Up to that point what ever happens is what happens.