Employee wants to swap

[des1re06 200]

Within the last 2 weeks an employee of mine, who has been in the lifestyle for years with her husband, has started coming on pretty strong towards me. She has dropped hints such as telling me that she loves me and wants to give me a blowjob. Today she showed me nude pics she took of herself in the tanning booth. She wanted to know if she could send me pics of her and if the Mrs. would mind(I asked the Mrs., and she doesn't mind). I've never admitted or let on that we're in the lifestyle, but it's possible she has found our SLS profile.

 

Problem number 1 is discretion. This lady tends to talk alot about her sex life. Problem number 2 is I am the department manager, and she works for me.

 

I have already told her that I don't think it's a good idea and was concerned about it getting out. She assured me that whatever would happen would stay between the 4 of us.

 

Mrs. D has met them both at a company picnic, and doesn't have a problem with either of them. Their is mutual attraction all around. Her concern is me losing my job over recreational sex.

 

How would you handle this?

 

Mr. D

[havefuninsun 122]

RUN!!!!

 

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

[2TexasTornados 16]

Hmm. I'm not one to get on a high horse about risky involvements, because we've played with a friend we've known since I was 11 and DH was in college (with no complications, I might add). But with a co-worker... that seems to be WAY risky especially since you're not friends outside the workplace, and therefore don't have a rock solid level of trust. Add to that that she's a talker, and it's even more of a concern, since a career and professional reputation is on the line.

[mrs good times 73]

DANGER, Will Robinson!

 

Being a department head puts you in more difficult situation than most. You never want to give an employee something to hang over your head. Think of the consequences, if you were to give her a less than stellar review or she was passed up for a promotion, this could very well be used against you.

 

I am in the same position and am very careful about divulging any part of my personal life to my employees as this has come back to bite me in the past. I became close to one of my female employees and we began doing things together like shopping or going to each others homes. Four years later when I was forced to reprimand her I found out the "friendship" was something she was willing to throw away rather quickly. That is minor compared to what you could be setting yourself up for and IMHO it's not worth it.

[happynudecplnj 15]

There is a old saying .Donot sleep where you eat. You and your wife could join them and it could be one of the most wonderful times you have . Then things don't work you still have to deal with the co work subject......so for us it would be not

[des1re06 200]

Thanks for the fast reply. You all brought up problems that are in the back of my mind. Guess we'll take a miss on this one.

 

Mr. D

[good times 991]

I don't think it can be stressed enough that their is a big difference between playing with a coworker and playing with a subordinate. If you are her boss you are only in a position to lose big time if you were to do this. Sexual harassment in the work place is a big deal now days. You can not only lose your job but could be hit with both financial and criminal punishment if this went bad.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

No thank you.

[good times 991]

Duplicate post

[Mr. Truelove 81]

ditto to everyone. RUN

 

Mr. Truelove

[lovinher 505]

You already know the answer...go with it. This is a no brainer.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

RUN! Red Flags! Everywhere!

1. She's your employee

2. She used the word "Love"

3. She has previously shown a lack of discretion

 

None of these lead to any reason to swing with her.

[dgdc 15]

Agree with all the comments, above. Something such as this could go bad big time! Not worth it at all.

[justus78 15]

This thing will go south so dont lose your job for 30 mim of fun.

[curiousagain 326]

Dito Dito Dito

If nothing else for the lack of discretion.

[clutch 28]

RUN!!!!

 

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

 

Have fun in the sun. Serious shit and serious legal shit possible. Regard as the black plague.

[Tybee Swing 286]

She has dropped hints such as telling me that she loves me and wants to give me a blowjob.

 

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!

 

Mrs. D has met them both at a company picnic, and doesn't have a problem with either of them. Their is mutual attraction all around. Her concern is me losing my job over recreational sex.

 

Smart lady!! You could not only lose your job, you could destroy your reputation in your industry. It could be very hard to get another job with this on your record. The world would perceive this as the boss messing with the help. She could sue the pants off of you and the company if it got out ("poor woman/big bad boss").

 

How would you handle this?

 

I'd run like hell!!! Seriously, I'd decline to ever look at her naked pictures again, I'd stay out of all sexual conversations with her (you said she's got loose lips about sexual stuff, talks in the office about it). You're the boss...stay out of those conversations with the help!

 

Thank God you asked us here, first. We just saved your life.

 

Best wishes!

[Tybee Swing 286]

She wanted to know if she could send me pics of her and if the Mrs. would mind(I asked the Mrs., and she doesn't mind).

 

Send you the pics via email? The company email? Make sure you don't exchange anything with her via company email that isn't 100% professional. It can bite you in the ass in a BIG way!!

[Cpl2share 147]

"DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!" I got into a similar situation years ago. Almost lost my business (I owned it) When I had to fire the woman. She thought that just because I had flirted with her and shown reciporical interest she could fail to show up for work, slack off, and fail to show up for work for two weeks. Then when she came in to work and was fired by me, she tried a sexual harassment lawsuit. Lucky for me, I had enough documentation to prevent the action. DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!!!!!

[WesternSwing 504]

I would stay away from it. Although she says it would stay between you all, you never can be sure. And being her boss, you are really put in a bad situation if come raise time she doesn't get what she feels she deserves and thinks it may be because of you.

 

I say this from personal experience only because I had a subordinate file a sexual harassment complaint about me two days after her annual review. She claimed I was coming on to her and even grabbed her boob once. She didn't know Mrs. WS and I are swingers and I had never come on to her in that manner. The corporate attorneys that interviewed both of us determined she was disgruntled because she "only got a 10% raise" and because "she only got 3 out of 5 stars" on her performance review from me. Basically, she was offended it wasn't a 20% raise and 5 stars. This was a woman that had been my subordinate for a year-and-a-half with a great working relationship between us. What saved my bacon was that not only did I never have sex with her, I never came on to her either, and she had no proof of any of the events happening she was claiming, including security camera footage from the "boob-grabbing" incident that clearly showed it never happened (she didn't count on them digging that up).

 

The moral... don't trust any subordinate with anything personal that could be used against you later if they feel you've crossed them. And sex is the most personal you can get.

 

Mr. WS

[sereneiders 263]

RUN, RUN, RUN!

 

If there are reasons to beat the 400 yards running records, the ones already pointed out so far are among these.

[Express Service 15]

Never **** around in your work place or where u live.

Period!!

[sexyshelby 19]

Send you the pics via email? The company email? Make sure you don't exchange anything with her via company email that isn't 100% professional. It can bite you in the ass in a BIG way!!

This was my biggest concern too. If she sends you emails via the company email, or even on company computers, there is hard evidence to back up whatever happens. I would firmly ask her to stop, and if it comes to it, go to HR with this issue.

 

Some one at my previous job recently got fired for inappropriate sexual emails. Its not worth losing your job over.

 

~SS

[des1re06 200]

Hubby got the message loud and clear. Thanks everyone!

 

Even though you may be flattered by someone 20 years your junior coming onto you (men or women), it's never a good idea to get involved with someone you work with. I have never dated anyone I work with, even though I've gotten some interesting offers.

 

This is why we go out of town to swing clubs! We almost ran into someone I used to supervise at a local party. It would have been very uncomfortable, so we left quickly.

 

So, hubby let her down gently but firmly (he's flattered, but no thanks).

 

Mrs. D