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SuAndBud

How much of an exhibitionist are you (both)?

Would you engage with your partner or partners with an audience?  

406 members have voted

  1. 1. Would you engage with your partner or partners with an audience?

    • He: Sure. Excites me. Bring a camera.
      129
    • He: No problems (but forget the camera).
      144
    • He: Friends, yes. Strangers, No.
      31
    • He: Not as a solo performance, but as part of a group, I'd be OK.
      46
    • He: No thanks. Groupsex yes, but in the limelight? No.
      29
    • He: I prefer the intmacy that one-on-one affords us.
      10
    • He: Hell, no. I would even prefer the lights out, anyway!
      5
    • He: Can I "Take the Fifth?"
      5
    • She: Sure. Excites me. Bring a camera.
      89
    • She: No problems (but forget the camera).
      112
    • She: Friends, yes. Strangers, No.
      34
    • She: Not as a solo performance, but as part of a group, OK.
      38
    • She: No thanks. Groupsex yes, but in the limelight? No.
      26
    • She: I prefer the intimacy that one-on-one affords us.
      13
    • She: Hell, no. I would even prefer the lights out, anyway!
      5
    • She: Can I "Take the Fifth?"
      5


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Su and I harbour a fantasy which will hopefully soon be fulfilled at Cap d'Adge where there are daily "Exhibition Sessions" in a designated area of the sand dunes. During this time, adventurous couples and groups "perform" in front of any of the other naturists who care to watch. The rules, we understand to be quite simple. Any of the voyeurs can join in by starting their own exhibition, too but none of the vouyeurs are allowed to join in with you while you are performing without your express permission.

 

Although it is possible to post multiple answers, just one for the ladies and one for the gents, please.

 

For the record, we both voted "No problem (but forget the camera).

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He would love something like that. Exhibitionism is the main motivation for us exploring this lifestyle in the first place.

 

I don't so much get off on whether or not anyone's looking. I'm in it for just how it feels, not the audience or lack of. That said, I'm coming around to not minding an audience, even though I haven't progressed to the point that having one turns me on.

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One of our playmates is a total exhibitionist ... she even hosts a forum and posts pictures for "butterscotch" types (these aren't really vanilla people, but they're not folks she swings with either).

 

I sometimes get nervous when being watched, but in my fantasy-land, I'm a total super-porn-star.

 

:)

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I don't mind being watched as evidenced by Our Weirdest Experience Ever. Mrs Spoo is a little hesitant to get started sometimes, but gets into being watched pretty quickly.

 

I have a fantasy of being "directed". While I would never act in a porno, I would love to have a porno fantasy. I'd meet a woman I had never met before - my costar - and we would work out the script before being filmed. I have shared this with Mrs Spoo and she has said she'd love to be the director/camera person.

 

But - the idea of that getting out beyond us is not sexy at all...

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Ha. Good for you Mr & Mrs Spoo.

 

That takes supreme guts and confidence!

 

Funny thing with us is that while we would like to "strut our stuff" in front of others (although it's not a burning issue or anything we just feel we would feel confident to do that and would find it gratifying and exciting to be the inspiration for others to help them lose some of their inhibitions) we find the idea of "dogging" (not sure if you have this in other countries or not) totally unappealing.

 

That's just a little too anonymous, slutty and downright dangerous as far as we're concerned.

 

Maybe a good topic for a new thread/poll though.

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SuAndBud said:
we find the idea of "dogging" (not sure if you have this in other countries or not) totally unappealing.

 

Correct me if I have this all wrong, but my understanding of "dogging" is putting oneself on display in places where people might be out walking their dogs -- a public park, for example. My understanding also includes that "doggers" are the people doing the watching, not the people exhibiting, and that they are generally out and about at dusk -- just enough light to see that foolishness is going on but not enough light to see what exactly is happening.

 

Trying to understand European culture,

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SW_PA_Couple said:
Correct me if I have this all wrong, but my understanding of "dogging" is putting oneself on display in places where people might be out walking their dogs -- a public park, for example. My understanding also includes that "doggers" are the people doing the watching, not the people exhibiting, and that they are generally out and about at dusk -- just enough light to see that foolishness is going on but not enough light to see what exactly is happening.

 

Trying to understand European culture,

 

Not in the UK. Over here, Dogging works thus:

 

If you are a "dogger" you meet up (usually in your car) at a place frequented by other doggers. Once there, you put a show on of having sex in front of the other doggers (those having exhibitionist sex) and the many voyeurs who congregate there to see the action. Some doggers even invite complete strangers/voyeurs to join in by allowing and even encouraging them to have sex (usually confined to oral or vaginal - though not always- and invariably with the female member of their company).

 

Photography (whilst not not generally allowed is impossible to prevent) often occurs as this is all done out in the open and with no rules or rule enforcers present.

 

It is a completely exhibitionistic type of affair that is pretty much out of control.

 

Not our scene, but it obviously fulfills a purpose to those who participate.

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We're both exhibitionists and perform regularly in front of a group of strangers at clubs. ;) No camera or video unless at our house party and all agree.

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When the mood is right and the spirit moves us, we can be very exhibitionistic together at a club or house party. The first time we discovered this about ourselves, it was mind-blowing for us. We never would have thought we'd have liked it so much, because we're both fairly camera shy. (We're still very camera shy in the Lifestyle and don't want other people taking pics of us on their cameras.) But, camera-free, we can get very wild in front of people. ;)

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This is something that we both agree on. We don't mind an audience, what we both hate is distractions. IOW, if you are going to watch, watch... but don't hang out and have a discussion or pop in and out of the room.

 

Personally, I'd prefer to be in a room where everyone is actively playing... but if you aren't going to actively play at least keep your mouth shut and stay put.

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Our thoughts on this are no lookie loos. If you have no intention of playing we are not the free porn show. I like Vegas Lee's hospitality suite rules at the Lifestyle conventions that you must be naked to enter the suite. That really cuts down on the tourists.

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This may sound contradictory given my other posts...but I love being watched, or even the thought of being watched (ie: we go to the big play room at the club and start having at it). But only with my boyfriend.

 

If I am with a swing partner, I prefer separate room so I can concentrate on what we are doing.

 

With that being said, if Jeff and I are having sex with other people watching, I probably won't have an orgasm (just like with same room sex)...it is distracting, but it's still very hot to me.

 

It's one of the reasons we like going to the lake and getting naked, I like to be looked at some times.

 

Jeff likes looking and to a lesser extent being looked at, however...he is his own best advertisement when we go to the playroom and are still going and going after other groups have played, taken a break and come back to the room for round 2. :lol:

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We don't mind being watched, but no cameras. :nono: Like last post, we don't mind being watched when it is just him and I, but in a group, just the people that are involved in the group will do. Just like Julie, we don't need the background shuffling or comments.

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I'm not an exhibitionist at all by nature. Sometimes I get a wild hair up my behind (or perhaps its the red wine lol) and I'll be this way...but typically I'm more of a private person. I will open up 10 times faster if I am in a more private setting than in public.

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I'm an exhibitionist, and he is most definitely a voyeur. So far my "audience" has only been him, so I don't know for sure if I'm comfortable with others "just watching" yet... if they were in the mix I probably wouldn't mind. And we have no problem with pictures and videos being taken. :D

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Dog has mentioned a few times recently that he would like to be watched by a group of people while we did the nasty. Can't say I am putting up too much of a fuss ::P:

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While I don't mind if others watch us, I don't get off on it, per se. And I 'd really prefer that the audience didn't sit there fully dressed discussing my "noises"--it's really distracting. :(

 

Do we like to watch? Fair is fair: if I'm watching, it's only the occasional glance while I'm otherwise occupied.

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Hey, being watched is part of the fun! We like being watched almost as much as we like to watch! :D

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prettylady said:
Dog has mentioned a few times recently that he would like to be watched by a group of people while we did the nasty. Can't say I am putting up too much of a fuss ::P:

 

I'm guessing you could find a very willing audience ;)

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We've done this a few times, out in some clubs in Vegas. Not huge crowds around us, as that would be a little intimidating, but a few people around us. Most memorable was all-star weekend last year, where I "manned the bobsled" down on the bottom floor of the Green Door. Plenty of looky loos there.

 

It's definitely been a fantasy of mine, and the wife gets a bit turned on by it. I don't think she ever thought she would be, but has found it to be.

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We don't mind being watched, but please be polite. We've had the experience of couples around us, dressed, watching us and having some non-LS conversations. We're not interested in your dog, or what you had for dinner last week, or what your best friend said at work. I've used the line... "move along please, nothing to see here".

 

OTOH, we really enjoy watching another couple or moresome in the group room. The sights, sounds and aroma of ardor are distinct turn ones that add to the pleasures of the experience. Ya get what ya give!

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We don't mind being watched and actually one of our local clubs that we go to the main play area is really more of a public play loft than anything else. It has around 10-12 beds upstairs and it is all open. You can only go up there if you are a couple or a single lady and you must be naked if you go up.

 

We play up there almost every time we are at the club. Either just MrsVan and I or with another couple. At this club I actually can't think of a time where we have used any of the play rooms. With this setup it is usually ok because everyone else is up there playing also or has been and are finished and just enjoying the show. For the most part everyone has always been quiet and respectful while in the loft.

 

Now we have been to a couple of other clubs and this was not the case. I agree with Julie here, if I am in a public play area and you want to watch fine, but be polite about it. One time MrsVan and I where at a club and we where playing with a single guy in the public area. The place we had choose was kind of a tent and it had the "bug netting" up around it. Here we are all having a great time and two couples walk by and stop right in front of our tent. One guy looks at us then says to his buddy in a super loud voice

 

'Now see, you don't get to see that at your local pub down the street do ya?!"

 

I was like HELLO!!!! What an ass...

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We love it. Watch, don't watch, we don't care. We just like the charge that comes from doing the wild thing with others in attendance.

 

We are always sure of the environment though. We wouldn't want children or someone who might not enjoy our hobby to get an eyeful.

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prettylady said:
Dog has mentioned a few times recently that he would like to be watched by a group of people while we did the nasty. Can't say I am putting up too much of a fuss

 

We tried doing the nasty in a window room at a club recently. Let's just say sometimes fantasy is better then reality. WHY DO PEOPLE NEED TO NARRATE WHAT THEY ARE SEEING!!

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This is definately something that Ed and I love to do at the club, and also watch.

 

However, no camera's. Because our most commonly used teasing phrase for each other is...."there is no evidence....no pics/no evidence...other swingers (that wouldn't come forward because they'd have to be seen or outed)/no evidence..thus, I'm still innocent unless caught on film...heehee"

 

So no camera's please, but if you want to watch or be watched, we are all in! :D::P:

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It was her masturbating while a truck driver looked on that finally convinced that a man other than myself would want to have sex with her. Before this happened, she was filled with self-doubt and insecurity. It was a very liberating experience. We wouldn't be swinging, had than not happened.

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Being watched is so intense for me that I don't even meet couples much anymore. I go mostly to house and hotel parties just for the excitement of being watched.

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I love to be watched and to watch. It took a little convincing but now the Mrs really enjoys being watched. :hahaha: Of course if the watchers are rude or discourteous it ruins the whole thing.

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We both can perform in the open but she really likes when we go to separate bedrooms especially when we are playing with our favorite couple...sometimes we spend the night with the other person to give the opportunity for "wake-up" sex which Shelley really loves especially with "the other Jim".

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We regularly play for an audience at the lifestyle resort we frequent. Although play is allowed, and happens, everywhere on the property, they have a public playroom that we also frequent. This room doubles as the dance room in the evenings, so it can sometimes be distracting.

 

I (Mr H) really enjoy having people watch, as long as I can maintain my focus. This is always easier when everyone else is playing too, but it is not a requirement. Dr H (Mrs) is fine with an audience, but it doesn't really enhance her experience as it does for me.

 

Oddly, I am not much of a voyeur unless we are also playing. I just feel a little creepy :confused:

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We love being watched! We have opened the curtains in a motel room so someone could see if they wanted to. Had not yet had a watcher knock on the door and offer to help, but we would let him or her in if they did.

 

She loves to be watched while she gets fingered and licked. We have had sex in several places outside

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A few years ago I was with a girl on a road trip and she got naked and She was fingering herself, rubbing herself, rubbing her breasts and I was reaching over to finger her soaked pussy. All this time we were on the interstate and we soon were in DC rush hour traffic and she continued! I haven't idea how many orgasms she had but the seat was soaked! I pulled in the next rest area and ate her then fucked her in the car in the daytime.

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My wife and I are very much exhibitionists. We have both done nude modeling for college and other drawing classes. In addition, over the years we have taken video of a lot of our threesomes with our good friend Bill. I have made DVDs of the videos and given him copies. With our permission he has shown them to a number of his friends.

 

A few years ago we were getting rid of a lot of VHS tapes after removing the ones of us having sex.

 

Bill had a friend who was using the screws that hold the tape cassettes together, so Bill gave him some of our old tapes. His friend put one of the tapes in his new VHS player and it was a sex tape of my wife and me. His friend was quite embarrassed and returned them to Bill. My wife and I had met the guy a couple times previously and found it quite funny. We had Bill put together a sex tape of my wife and me and give it to him.

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While I don't think you could call us exhibitionist, (discreet exhibitionists maybe?) we have enjoyed sex in public places from time to time. Favorite time was in a movie theater. Wasn't very full, but one guy a few rows in front of us, kept turning around while my wife was riding me reverse cowgirl.....it was pretty dark but still a definite turn on! Another favorite was on a beach in Hawaii. When we do act on our "urges" we do keep in mind our surroundings and never, ever, do anything where children could possibly see something....

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May be playing in a room with several strangers Saturday. Have to say I'm excited, both with the idea of watching the others and being watched. Thirty year a ago when I did a lot of group sessions the live porn show was part of the attraction.

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I hope things work out for you. Watching and being watched is something that turns on my wife and me too.

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The Mrs. and I like watching and being watched, too. The idea that somebody else is getting excited by watching us is a real turn-on.

 

We regret the fact that most of the lifestyle clubs in our area do not have group rooms. One that does is called Tabu. Unfortunately, that club has only one thing going for it in ou minds, and that is the group room. We played in that room very soon after we started swinging, and had a great time! Since then, we have played in group rooms at Desire, Club Jasmine in NOLA, and an informal group room at a house party in NJ, and enjoyed all of them. We also played with another couple in a voyeur room at another local club- that was fun, too!

 

I agree with those who complain about spurious conversation in or near a group area. It breaks the sexy mood!

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I love being watched. I'm a bit insecure about my body at times which holds me back. If your going to watch I'll put on a show. Hubby on the hand has no barriers. He'll do whom ever where ever. Which typically means me getting fucked at landmark locations.

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We are total exhibitionist. we love being watched and watching others. Once in Amsterdam, I fucked 10 men on the stage of a club and it was so intense, I would love to relive that experience. we both love to be in front of a camera also and we love to share.

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Hi, just nice. We are both nudists. He had sex many times with his former in public, I still haven't tried. but will be ok, I guess.

 

Nice, subject to think about

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KASSIA: I like to go to a shoe store, choose and buy shoes or sandals, using t-shirt and mini-skirt (with no panties), being attended by a male salesman, of course, who always help me to put on my shoes (or sandals). I ask to try several pairs of shoes. His look at my pussy is impressive. Husband watches in the distance.

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I have a preference for group sex, several of us in the same bed. So yes that more than one person sees me sexually is part of the thrill. While creepy single guys peeking around the corner are a turn off having others watch and enjoy themselves is part of the fun.

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We went to dinner with a couple we met at a swingers club and we switched partners and the men fingered us at the booth. Neither of us women wore panties so it was easy access and a big turn on to have another guy finger me in public.

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I've always enjoyed both being watched while getting head and watching women give head. Unsure why. First time it ever came up was when I was about 18 - several times in different situations - and it stuck with me.

 

Mrs. E has always enjoyed showing off her body but was usually too shy other than topless sunbathing. Only experience being watched during a sex act was her and her best friend giving head side-by-side once in high school, then not again until we started experimenting. Not as much specifically into being watched during a sex act, but definitely into being undressed.

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      Sue contacted the woman looking for a female model and met with her.  The "event" was going to be at a community hall that she had rented and the attendance would be exclusively for males.  The expectation was Sue would wear a variety of lingerie but there was no nudity required. She'd also get paid $100 for about 2 hours of work, and I could go. 
       
      When we got there Sue was taken into a back room where there was a rack full of lingerie sorted out according to the level of sexiness and sheerness.  There were about 20 guys sitting at round tables of 5 that she'd have to walk around like she was on a catwalk so they could see what the outfits looked like. 
       
      Sue had come out in a variety of sexy teddy's and negligees.  After the first couple outfits, the clothes became more revealing.  Toward the end she came out in an outfit that although not totally sheer you could see a hint of her nipples.  All the guys started clapping as she did her walk around all the tables. 
       
      It was now the end of the "fashion show" and the guys started chanting for her to come out one more time.  The woman running it came up to me and told me that Sue wanted to see me in the back room before the show was officially over. 
       
      I went into the back room and Sue could tell I had really enjoyed everything.  Sue then pulled off a "harem outfit" that was the furthest one on the clothes rack, indicating it was the most revealing.  She said she was fine putting it on as the last outfit if I was OK with her wearing it in front of all the guys.  I said, "Are you kidding me, I'd love it."  I then walked back to my table and the woman announced that Sue was coming out with one more outfit to end the night and asked for the guys to finalize their order sheets but that they may want to wait for the last outfit to add to their orders. 
       
      Sue then walked out in a light pink harem outfit that was totally sheer exposing her breasts and nipples as if she was topless.  The guys went crazy.  They started yelling "tits for tips" and with that Sue looked at me and with a sly grin I nodded my head and she proceeded to take her top down and did a final walk around each table being completely topless.  When she got back to the room she was changing in, the woman walked in and handed her another fifty dollars in tips and said she had done a great job. 
       
      As Sue and I were walking out to head back to the dorm a man who was at the fashion show was waiting for us and said that he owned a restaurant and if we both were looking to make a few extra dollars he could use us for about 4 hours every Saturday from noon to 4pm.  The restaurant was called "R Donuts".  The job for me would be to buss tables, and for Sue it would be as a topless waitress (hence the "R" Donut name). We told him we'd think about it. 
       
      See part 2 as this story of the journey from shyness to hotwife continues.
    • By Wendans
      My fantasy has always been to watch my wife get fucked by another man. We have been with another woman before which is a whole story in itself that I’ll tell you about later.
       
      One night several years ago my wife and I had gone to a club. Not your ordinary club, but a good club for swingers and singles. The night had started out rather slow and we were not finding any action that I had hoped. My wife knows what she wants and that is what we go with. And that night we found what she wanted and it was such a great experience she knew she wanted to do it again. She had gotten fucked by a black guy and she had enjoyed it. So, when we got the chance, she wanted to try it again.
       
      Being at a swinger’s club isn’t really her thing, but fucking in front of people or listening to them fuck is a big turn-on for her. Since we don’t live close to any swingers’ clubs or anything of that nature, we don’t get many opportunities to do anything like this.
       
      A couple of years ago we got a chance to go to another club. Yes, one of those clubs. We were looking for a little fun and hoping to find something as good as the last time we were out. We talked to many people as the night went on and my wife was trying to figure out what we were going to be doing to have fun that night. There was a hot blonde that was interested in us and kept on grabbing my cock which my wife was loving because this was getting her going. My wife and I decided that this was not what we had in mind for tonight, so we just kind of let that slide and we went on to pursue something else. She said she would know it when she saw it.
       
      My wife had put a couple of drinks down and was feeling pretty good now. She was a little more daring and said she wanted to go change outfits like she did when we had been to a club previously. We had brought the very same sexy outfit that was see through, so she went and changed into it. When she came back out, there was not one guy's eyes on anyone but her. Even the women were looking on in awe. She is a beautiful woman that knows how to control a room.
       
      One guy came up to me and told me he was jealous. He said he would do anything to get to fuck my wife, but she just didn’t feel right with him, I guess. As we were standing around, in came this well-built younger black guy and I think she almost came right there. The look on her face was almost mind blowing. She got this horny grin and told me she was ready to start our night. As he walked by her, she gave him this dirty smile and took her hand and rubbed down by her cunt. He stopped walking and came over to her and asked if he could help her with anything. She just smiled and said that I think you already know what you can do. They danced around a little bit, but I could tell she couldn’t take it anymore, so she quickly unzipped his pants and took out his cock and grabbed it and lead him into another room like a dog on a leash.
       
      I stayed back a couple of minutes to give them some time to get to know each other. When I did finally get to the other room, they had already undressed and she was sucking his cock. It was larger than mine. Not much longer, but thicker. I could tell she liked it.
       
      My wife had picked a room where people would be able to watch if they wanted to. I stayed back in the wings and was kind of hidden so she really didn’t know I was even there.  As I watched my wife in action, I could tell she was enjoying every second of this guy’s cock. She was sucking it like there was no tomorrow.
       
      Now it was his turn to return the favor. He got his face down to her pussy and started licking like it was candy. She was turning red and I could tell she was already about to cum. She was squirming and shaking and he was getting her cunt all ready for his big shaft. But before he fucked her, he now spread her legs out and started fingering her pussy to the point that she started squirting fluids all over the sheet they were laying on. It was like the flood gates had opened up and all the juices were flowing.
       
      She finally had all she could take because I’m sure she had cum multiple times already and I could tell she just wanted to have him inside her. I heard her say to give me your big, black cock. He asked her if she wanted him to put on a condom and she told him no, she wanted to feel him inside her cunt.
       
      He took her and spread her legs wide and slowly inserted his bbc into her tight cunt. She told him to go slowly because she said it was so big that she needed to get used to it. After several minutes of the slow movement, she said she needed him to fuck her harder so he started to go full penetration into her dripping wet cunt. She was telling him how good his cock felt, and how she loved fucking him.
       
      They switched positions multiple times with her sitting on top of his cock and riding him like she has never ridden before. My wife took his whole cock inside of her as deeply as she could, rubbing back and forth and cumming time and time again.
       
      They finally switched back to missionary style and were fucking hard when I heard her say to him, she wanted him to cum in her pussy. She said she wanted to feel his cum drip out of her pussy all night long. When he heard her say that, he started to pick up the pace and finally started moaning and said he was about to cum. My wife was now cumming herself and as he shot his load inside of her, she started squirming and shaking with every pulse of his exploding cock. Her body was red from all of her orgasms, and I could tell she was getting worn out. They had gone for almost 40 minutes of nonstop action. Not to mention that all the other people that had gathered around to watch started going to other parts of the place as they had gotten a show that they would remember forever.
       
      When he pulled his now soft cock out of my wife, I could see the cum dripping down her ass. She was getting what she wanted, I guess. She would be able to feel his cum dripping out of her the rest of the night. But I didn’t realize that she was not done yet. She wanted more. My wife took his cock and started sucking on it again. I guess he was young enough that almost instantly he got hard and she took his cock and guided it into her cunt and said she needed more of his cum. He fucked her for another 10 minutes until he exploded with more cum inside my wife’s pussy again. Again, as I watched the cum drip down her ass, she was getting what she wanted. She was going to feel this the rest of the night.
       
      They both started cleaning up a little and I slowly came out of the crowd that had gathered. She saw me and gave me that dirty little smile she sometimes gets. My wife asked me if I had enjoyed her show. She said she needed to have a little more cum in her pussy tonight and she now wanted mine. Her new little friend just kind of sat back in the corner and decided to watch us.
       
      I knew I wouldn’t last long because I had almost cum multiple times just watching her. With some of the crowd still watching I got undressed, and slid my wet with pre-cum cock into my wife’s cum-loaded pussy. I fucked her until she started cumming. Her cunt convulsed so hard that it squeezed my cock and made me start to cum. I came in her pussy, mixing my cum with my wife’s new fuck buddies cum. I pulled my cock out and watched it all slowly slide down her ass. She got up and went over to our young fuck buddy and she gave him a long passionate kiss and said thank you for such a great time. He gave her one last little finger fucking and handed her a card of his if we were ever in the area again.
       
      He left after he got dressed and we got cleaned up and went out to the main room. I had multiple people including women and even the bartender say that my wife was one of the women they would like to fuck if they ever got a chance after seeing her in action. I guess I’m the lucky one here.
       
      Later that night when we were driving to our resort, she slipped her hand down pants and put her fingers in her pussy. She brought them out and rubbed them on my face. She smiled and said we gotta do this again sometime as we pulled into the parking lot to call it a night.
       
      And what a night it was.
    • By Sawman
      I am at the mature end of the swinging demographic as are my play friends. The ladies have their share of curves and character lines and often prefer to wear something when younger, fitter ladies prefer total nudity. This is just to say clothing is totally OK if it makes you comfortable. This is not a photo shoot. This is intimacy and mutual giving. Besides, a little color and texture is nice to see and feel. When I know my partner is shy I can adjust and just observe that as a boundary.
       
      Now, go shopping.
    • By English Flames
      I have a fantasy of being pegged by my wife at say, a swinger house party, with the door open or some how on display for passerby’s to watch. My only concern is whether this would be considered disrespectful or against an unspoken etiquette? I can understand it’s not for everyone.
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