How do you feel about swingers clubs?

[OhioCouple 40]

Since there has been a lot of talk recently in different topics about swingers clubs, this topic seems appropriate.

 

How do you feel about swingers clubs in general? Do you enjoy them, just on specific nights, not at all, what is a swingers club?

 

Please vote and then feel free to share your experiences as to what you like or dislike about them.

 

Lori

[Guest Lakota]

Since I travel, often requiring me to “present myself” as a single male, I tend to really enjoy clubs. I’ve had awesome experiences at both on, and off premises establishments (being somewhat of an exhibitionist) and have partied at on-premises clubs that cater to gay male clientele as well. Once I put my military time behind me (and put down roots in the USA) I truly look forward to developing a circle of like-minded playmates to party with in my home (and theirs of course)

 

Cheers

 

John

[DragonsLair 26]

My husband and I have only been to swingers clubs. We've attended Meneges in Nashville and LCDC in Cleveland. We've had a good time at both. LCDC in particular is very careful about the singles they let in. We've never had a problem there. They're starting to have nights where screened single men are being permitted to come to the club. Knowing the management, I doubt there will be problems.

 

The atmosphere is highly charged and very erotic. We've been entertained with the action on the dancefloor and in the seats each time we've been there. And it always leads to great sex between us either at the club or after we've gotten home.

 

LCDC has themed dances that are quite fun to participate in. And they also have just regular dance parties too.

 

From reading some of the other threads, I guess we've been lucky. We've never had a bad experience at the clubs.

 

DragonsLair

 

He is T. I am A.

[Guest Lakota]

How cool!!! My girlfiiend (and swing partner) lives in Nashville and we'll be going to Meneges when I'm there in March!!

 

Cheers

 

J

[DragonsLair 26]

Have fun, John. We were there only once but had a good time. We didn't really explore the club a whole lot, but it seemed very nice. They have a website that tells you what parties are upcoming. They also do themed nights.

 

Hope you and your girlfriend have fun and be sure to fill us in on it too.

[Guest Lakota]

Will do!!! (I'll be in Nashville for the whole month of March so we should be able to party there a few times)......

 

Wish I'd found the forum earlier. I had the "honor" of spending the night at Cleveland's Airport Hilton last summer. I'd have invited you guys out for a drink.....

 

Cheers

 

John

[RnKin Fla 15]

We've been to a few clubs.

 

First club (get this!) was the Candy Club in Amsterdam. It was so much fun, but kind of sleazy too. Fake fur on mattresses in the corner - that kind of sleaze (the GOOD kind ). It is a really small place. But fun. Loads and loads of fun.

 

Second club was Velvet Heaven in Atlanta. It was ok. There were many cliques. But the dungeon is FABULOUS. (If you are into that sort of thing.) I spent most of my night squirming around getting turned on by the happenings in the dungeon. There was one couple that seemed very interested in us, but the guy really turned me off, so...

 

Third club was 13th Floor in Dallas. It is a really neat atmosphere - not quite as cliquish as VH, and its in this huge, rambling house. The guys are really nice and friendly for the most part, and they do say that if any of the women are uncomfortable with what someone is doing, just say so. But, since we were new there, when the CREEPY staring guy in the corner started following us, I ran out of there just as fast as I could, rather than telling management. I wish I had told someone. I think we could have had a great time at 13th Floor.

 

We are dying to try the clubs in Las Vegas, and since we are moving to the Pacific Northwest pretty soon, I hear there are some great clubs in Seattle!

 

:evil:

[Gwendolyn 15]

My husband and I have had mixed experiences. The best places we have found are the ones that are controlled. Our favorite one was Lush in San Francisco. What crazy nights we have had there. However if you're looking for just something interesting to watch Power Exchange and Bondage a Go Go are always good for a side show.

[Tanman aka Mike and Marie 16]

We really enjoy swingers clubs also, having been to 5 different clubs we find that we really like Menages in Nashville also. We live in the Nashville area and have attended TSC in the past (don't bother going there they don't compare to Menages) but really enjoy Menages having been members for over 2 years now.

 

The nice thing about this club is there is a lot of different entertainment both upstairs and downstairs all set in a very nice atmosphere. Marie and I will be traveling to Atlanta for Valentines day weekend and will check out Trapeeze while we are there. We heard its a very nice club as well.

[Guest Lakota]

I'll be getting off my current ship and spending the month of March back in Nashville (my home before joing the Navy)

 

Menages is already on Mary's and my schedule.....

 

Cheers

 

John

 

(doing time on the USS Kitty Hawk)

[westman 15]

Sorry to be slightly off-topic, but this is a subject that has frustrated my wife and I for some time now.

 

We live in Los Angeles and really enjoyed the "After Midnight" parties when they were held in Culver City. When they closed, we decided there

was a need for a off-premises dance party series in West L.A. so we started our own. (Candlelight Nights) It was more a labor of love than a business venture, but we did of course have to make enough money to at least break even and pay the venue, D.J., security, etc. The goal was to

create a classy club that we ourselves would like to attend.

 

We put the word out through our friends, joined NASCA and placed an ad with them and advertised on the net via the various swingers boards.

 

The response was massive! Within a week we had over 500 couples on our email list.

 

First party: Only 12 couples show up.

 

Second party: Only 8 couples

 

Third party: Only 14 couples.

 

Forth party: Only 9 couples.

 

Great venue, fantastic music, free food but for whatever reason, we could not seem to make it "catch fire." We had to just stop hosting them as it wasn't worth it and with the miniscule turnouts we had no one had any fun.

 

Strange thing is, we still have an amazing amount of sign-ups on our mailing list every day, some even angry that we closed.

 

I've been involved in many successful businesses all my life, but I can't figure out how this could have bombed so badly. It's like the old saying "the operation was a success but the patient still died."

 

What does it take to make a club catch on? Are off-premises clubs no longer pulling the crowds they once did?

 

Opinions please....

[TeamSoBe 36]

Westman, were you competing with an established party like the Skin party or Fling or Bliss or something like that? That might be part of the problem, there are a lot of pretty well-established off-premises parties in your area.

 

Promoting parties and clubs is a very special kind of talent, especially in an area like yours. It's not just about getting a location and booking a DJ and sending out mailings, it has a lot to do with your overall PR skills and it has even more to do with who you know. It sounds like the element missing from your party was the initial "seed crowd". Any successful party needs to have a core group that shows up from the very beginning whether the party is cool or not. Peripheral newbies and B-List people will go wherever the A-List people tell them to go, so hooking a faithful core group is critical. Those inner-circle A-Listers expect to be comped, so you only end up making money on the B-List and the total strangers. Getting the strangers to come back month after month is hard, since the A-List crowd tends to be pretty cliquish and doesn't make them feel welcome. The key to keeping your A-List around is to remember to treat them like the talent. The DJ is there and playing because he's getting paid. the A-List is there because they get in free and they get comped bottles and tables and you make them feel important. You can expect to spend more on bottles for your A-List than on your DJ or dancers if you're doing it right.

 

If you don't want to build your party around an A-List crowd then you need a gimmick. Bliss has a different gimmick each time around, that keeps people coming. Fling's gimmick is that they put on an ultra-exclusive image and make you feel like it's a big deal just to be invited. We have a new party starting up in our area where the promoter is bringing in strippers to give free friction dances to the female guests. If you have a gimmick then you can maybe get away without the A-List core.

 

Another critical tecnique that any successful party promoter needs too, unfortunately, is that he has to be a really good liar. If you can't take your party where 12 couples showed up and put a positive spin on that so that everybody feels like they missed out on something and they need to be at the next one, then there is just no hope. You should have a web site with a post-party report thanking everybody for coming to the party and making it so crazy and showing your appreciation for the insane after-party at the nearby hotel afterward, and promising to make next month's party even bigger and better. Tell them in your after report that you're working on some big surprises for the next party, so be sure not to miss it. The big surprise can be anything, new dancers, a different DJ, improved lighting, whatever, nobody will question you as long as people are having fun. Learn to do the Jedi mind trick on people, don't ask them if they are having fun, learn to tell them "You're having fun", "Thank you for having fun at our party", "You will have more fun at the next party, tell your friends".

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Take a look at yourselves.

 

Do you enjoy gatherings? Do you hate to go to weddings and funerals?

 

Are you family oriented?

 

I mean do you like to go to family outings, and have lots of fun?

Do you enjoy company gatherings?

Are you comfortable with being aroung large groups of people or do you get annoyed with the variances of the participants?

Do you attend concerts?

enjoyably?

Would you rather get together with a few people that have something in common?

Do you like loud music and dancing?

Does it bother you that you can't talk because the music is too loud?

Does it bother you when music you hate is played at 85+ decibels?

Do you mind that you really need to attend the same club for at least a few times before you really get to know someone and you will probably not be a regular until you go there about 10 times?

 

 

If you think any of these things are an issue then you may need to go to a lot of clubs and learn the ways. If you want to go to any club then you have to attend for a long time to be in the 'groove" unless you are a natural socialite.

 

Clubs have a lot to offer but there is the general reality that there are cliques. Of course cliques are in swinging clubs, church, bowling, PTA's, company gatherings etc.

 

Swingers are just people.

 

They will not take you in as a willing and acceptable participant unless you go throught the normal shit of being accepted by attending regularily like all the aforementioned groups.

 

Now I have seen people go to a club and be the hit..on the first visit....because they have a knack for it...decide who and what you are....but you don't know until you try. John.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

As of yet we have only been to couples only clubs... that was the only option we had. If we could guarantee that the single males were limited and screened we would have no problem attending on a night when singles were allowed to go.

[HeidiS 15]

We've been to a local club a few times (La Chambre in Sheffield) and the problem is this. On Singles + Couples nights you end up being one of about 10 women in amongst 100 men! It was very intimidating and I kept my clothes on!

 

On the couples night you could still end up doing some things with 2 or more men only this time it was less intimidating. So, I agree with the above. Vetting of some sort is required, and a limit on the ratio too. 10 women to 100men!!! come off it!

 

Just my two penneth

[LIZA 20]

We loved Dreamworld when they were in business, LA Couples is fun but pricey. Veronica's too is fun. All are in the LA Area

[jcbicouple 24]

We've only attended one club, and it allows couples as well as singles to attend. We know that most couples are looking for other couples, or single females, and the majority of the clubs are going to cater to that. That is totally understandable. The thing we don't get (maybe this is off topic?) is the "screening" and "special rules". Who screens the singles? What is the criteria? There may be a need for a limit on the number of singles to avoid the 100 men to 10 women scenario described above. That makes sense from a business longevity and comfort of the members standpoint. The biggest thing we don't get is the "rules" some clubs have for single males. Sit here until spoken to. Oh no, you can't go there unless a couple takes you. etc. Seems to us that these rules, by nature, would limit the single males to those that lack confidence and self respect. Who in their right mind would sit in the corner, waiting for one of the "special" people to invite them to join the rest of the group? Neither of us would allow anyone to treat us as though we were subservient to those around us. Who in their right mind would want to play with someone that would subject themselves to that? Not us. Reeks of desperation.

Add to the above, the fact that most of the "rude" or "unattractive personalities" we've met were a part of a couple, not a single male or single female, and the fact that we enjoy playing with singles....Well....We'll stick to the clubs that allow everyone and avoid the "couples only" scene.

 

Edited to add: Didn't realize the original post was two years old!

[imsnowman 34]

We've been to two. If the second was like the first, we'd probably go more but the local one is too smokey.

As far as singles vs couples we don't care. We know how to say no.

[darling 17]

We've been to two here in Ohio. DSSC was our home club for years, but the clientel has really dropped in quality so we tried another. I enjoy the other one's facility, but no one seems to really be hooking up except with who they came with. I'm hoping the place will grow. I feel safe in a club setting where everyone there is a swinger of one type or another.

[4 is better 15]

This is our first post so we are post virgins. But it is nice to our virginity on this site.

 

We have been to a few clubs both in Illionis (Club Adventure) and Indiana (Utopia) but learned rather quickly that the big clubs are not for us. They had way TOO many cliques and everyone totally ignored us like the plague. We are just not willing to go there 10 to 20 times before being accepted into the mix. We found that the smaller clubs (Intimate Circles) or house parties are much better places to meet and you don't have to deal with the cliques or "A-list" people .

 

We want our swinging experience to be fun and not a second job we have to work at to move up the club acceptance ladder.

 

Robert

[wiscpl 22]

 

We want our swinging experience to be fun and not a second job we have to work at to move up the club acceptance ladder.

 

Robert

 

This is the reason why we will not be going to swing clubs again in the future. We have been to an off premise club in the area and managed to meet some great people. We have noticed the "A-list" people and the cliques formed around them which are nearly impossible to penetrate. For now we will use the endless classifieds in the net which seemt to be turning out the couples we click with.

[lebcpl2swing 15]

We have attended clubs that allow singles as well as just couples clubs. we prefer couples only. The clubs that allow singles tend to let to many in as time goes on ($$$ start to talk). The atmosphere is better in the couples clubs, no vultures circling. No disrespect to the single guys that understand the lifestyle. It seems that some of the single guys think that because the paid to get in that means they WILL get some action. This makes the for an uneasy atmosphere.

[JnCC 24]

Who screens the singles? What is the criteria?

That's a good question. I've been getting back into the local club scene with a female friend, and judging from our experiences the past few times we've been to local clubs, nobody screens them. The only "criteria," if there is one, is that they pay the door charge. We know we're attending an adult, sex-oriented club. We expect to see nudity, sexual activity, and the occasional single male trying to get/maintain an erection with his hand while cruising. What we don't expect to see is a completely nude middle-aged man slouched back on a sofa in the group area, flogging the bejesus out of his poor, wretched dick, while a woman is attempting to give her boyfriend a blowjob 3 feet away. We didn't stick around for the "Grand Finale" because it was a very sad, even repulsive, scene.

 

Yes...I saw it with my own eyes. And NO...I wasn't the guy getting the blowjob.

 

There may be a need for a limit on the number of singles to avoid the 100 men to 10 women scenario described above.

You would think so, but I've NEVER seen a single guy turned away from ANY club, ever, solely because there were already too many in the mix. The "correct" number of single males that can be accomodated in a club before driving the couples business out is probably one of the great mysteries of the swing club business. But I suspect that at some point, that number is reached, couples begin avoiding the place, and from then on, they need the singles business to stay afloat.

 

It would be interesting to hear the real story from somebody who owns or manages a swing club, but I doubt any of them would discuss it for fear that they'd be offending one group or the other.

 

The biggest thing we don't get is the "rules" some clubs have for single males. Sit here until spoken to. Oh no, you can't go there unless a couple takes you. etc. Seems to us that these rules, by nature, would limit the single males to those that lack confidence and self respect.

That may be true, although I've never seen a club that requires single males to sit in silence until "summoned" by a couple. What I have seen are rules that forbid them from harrassing couples after they've been told "no thanks," and that prohibit them from going into certain areas of the club unless they have been specifically invited by a couple. They have those rules because that's what most of their customers have asked for. Is that any worse than being asked to smoke only in certain areas, or not to fuck in the hot tub? Most couples don't go to a swing club with the idea that they're there to perform a peep-show for some guy that can't find a date, and the ones that do are never shy about asking for an audience.

 

If you think about it, most activities have various "layers" or levels of involvement that one must attain before being allowed onto the next level. A spectator can't wander into a baseball dugout during a game, for instance, and ask for a turn at bat. A passenger can't go into the cockpit of an airliner and ask the pilots if they'd "like some help flying the plane." If a guy really wants unrestricted access to a club, let him bring a woman like everybody else. Otherwise, he ought to stay in the social area and ask himself why he hasn't been invited back into the party areas.

 

Who in their right mind would sit in the corner, waiting for one of the "special" people to invite them to join the rest of the group? Neither of us would allow anyone to treat us as though we were subservient to those around us. Who in their right mind would want to play with someone that would subject themselves to that? Not us. Reeks of desperation.

I agree with you 100%, which is probably why we respond as negatively as we do to single males at a club. Any guy who would spend $40-$55 to stand around in an enviornment where they're outnumbered 10-to-1 has to appear "desperate," even if he's not. I don't know ANY reasonably attractive, self-respecting guy who would stick around against odds like that, unless he were on an aircraft carrier at sea or in a prison with female guards.

 

The atmosphere is better in the couples clubs, no vultures circling. No disrespect to the single guys that understand the lifestyle.

No disrespect taken...we "single guys who (sorta) understand the lifestyle" aren't in the clubs to begin with. Party on!!

 

It seems that some of the single guys think that because the paid to get in that means they WILL get some action. This makes the for an uneasy atmosphere.

I once overheard a single gentleman making a statement to that effect. I explained that the $60 he paid at the front desk was to settle accounts with the club, not with the other guests, and that if he wanted to be sure he'd get some "action" he should have brought some with him.

[Guest silverlover]

Call it anxiety, shyness or having concerns over such openess. We prefer our house parties with people we know.......... no hassles, no problems......

[EmpyreanPleasur 18]

We've been to house parties, clubs that allow single women and clubs that allow couples only and have enjoyed them all. Even if we didn't know ANYONE when we got there, we mingled and visited and had a great time every time!

 

We only do 3 somes with bifems, so there isn't much likelihood of hooking up at these clubs, but we enjoy being with each other, we enjoy the sexually charged atmosphere and we have made some wonderful friends. Of course, the long term friendships don't happen overnight, but we've never felt unwelcomed or out of place.

 

Ladies only dances, party floors, dancing, talking and getting to know others, while enjoying each other, dressing up sexy, flirting, etc...we love this venue in addition to others.

[Iplay 16]

I would love to go to swinger club. I know i would be very interested.

[Bryngcpl 15]

We attended clubs and socials when we were both in college. We enjoyed the crowd and loved the mix of couples and single females. The best was French Connection in the New Orleans area. We have found that now that we both work in a small community up north, going to a club is too much of a risk.

[tribbles 490]

Clubs and house parties, with or without single males, are where we have the most fun.

 

In the beginning, large groups of single males could intimidate us but as we gained experience, that stopped. We learned how to be very comfortable telling others what we didn't want and even what we did want.

No really does mean No and most the guys know it and the few who miss it, learn and leave the lifestyle.

 

[celtic239 297]

My wife has recently agreed to attend a swingers club. The closest one to us is an on-premise. The only thing that I (the Mr) fear is that it may be a bit overwhelming for the Mrs. However the club is a couples only club and has great features (a pool, hot tub, dance floor...). We haven't gone for a visit because I recently broke my ankle and our work schedules have us working on various weekends.

The Mrs also fears being 'outed' but this club appears to be a good two hour drive and in a different state.

[luvscum1 17]

Hi all

Bob and I use to attend many many swing clubs in the Bay Area. I was in my late 20's, It only took 2 or 3 large parties and I was hooked.I wanted to go at least once a week,sometimes we went to 2 or 3 a week. We did that for over 10 years (before AIDS)

We now have our own parties All with close friends

I became addicted to oral sex (if thats possible)

I do swallow. There is hardly a day goes by that Bob dont bring home a few men friends of his for me to please,on weekends we have as many as 8-10

[ownerspet 506]

So this thread looks like a thread about when you go to a club just as much as if you go to a club. Me and the Mrs like to go clubs that have a good mix of people. I don't know that we would mind the singles being there, even though I don't feel comfortable to think about playing with singles yet. However, our big issue is the typical unbehaved, disrespectful, or odd behaving single males. If they knew how to function without looking socially disfunctional, it would probably make me more comfortable. However, there are several respectful and not overly forward and functional singles in the lifestyle. I've met a couple of them, but the disfunctional ones give the functional ones a bad name. Although, we've met some couples that probably fall into the disfunctional behavior pattern as well.

 

So to anwser this, I don't mind being around a mix of couples and singles at the club, as long as we are all respectful of each other and not socially disfunctional. Although, I think most of the non-socially-disfunctional singles probably end up in a relationship (whether committed or just someone of the opposite gender to hang with) as a couple fairly quickly because in the lifestyle they are hard to come by.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We also voted that a mix of couples and singles make for a good swing night. Only because there are times that we can not find a couple that we both click with. So sometimes we will both play with, him a single lady and myself with a single dude.