Couples Profile Reviews

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

Hey all. Thanks so much for the feedback. It's good to know that reads well. We tend to spend a good bit of time editing and re-editing :P

[NotSorry 155]

I, personally, am put off by any play of the word "cum".l

 

 

Yeah... us too. We just didn't mention it because we didn't know if we were being incredibly picky or not. It's nice to see we are not alone.

 

Mrs. and Mr. Not Sorry

[Mr.LoveUbye 15]

Hi Guys,

We really need your help. We keep sending out emails, but we do not get ANY response. Not even a "no thank you". If you have a moment please check out lakescouple on SLS and let us know if we are doing anything wrong.

 

Thank you!

B&K

[IvoryTowers 380]

Lakescouple I liked your profile, but I'd suggest a few changes.

 

First off, I wouldn't announce that I was a newbie! Some people may not be interested in mentoring and by mentioning your newbie status, it seems like you are looking for that, even if you aren't.

 

I'd cut out the line about extra pounds. People can tell from the stats how close you are to their ideal and your picture is certainly sexy, so why suggest that you are uncomfortable with your weight?

 

I'd put up a few more pictures. Mr. Ivory and I are leery of one picture profiles because they seem either like scams or like the couple isn't serious. This might be a holdover from our AFF days (when one picture of a hot female usually meant "click here to pay for cam sex!") but still, more pictures can't hurt!

 

But honestly, I think the thing that is getting in the way of you hooking up with more couples is this: "We are very interested in watching and being watched with the possibility of Soft Swinging"

 

I and most of the profiles I see, are interested in more than watching and the possibility of soft swap! No matter how smart and sexy you were, I'd pass you by based on that. Now I am in NO way suggesting you do anything that makes you uncomfortable! Just suggesting that it may take you longer to find a couple interested in the same level of play you are. But all good things come to those who wait, right?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Hi Guys,

We really need your help. We keep sending out emails, but we do not get ANY response. Not even a "no thank you". If you have a moment please check out lakescouple on SLS and let us know if we are doing anything wrong.

Your profile leaves a good impression, B and K. I see nothing here that would put people off from answering an e-mail inquiry except:

 

- the possibility of a soft swap -- as IvoryTowers observed, your chances would increase if you put it more positively, i.e. "We are very interested in watching, being watched and soft swing."

 

- We do have more pictures we can share -- In my experience this translates into, "We are fishing for your e-mail address so that we can add it to a world-wide spammers' database." Don't ask people to just through hoops. If there are additional pictures to offer, load them into a private gallery. You two look good, incidentally, in your default profile picture.

 

Hope this helps.

 

~M

[Mr.LoveUbye 15]

Thank you for your feedback! We will make some changes and see if it improves our results! It really helps to have an outside opinion on these things....thank you! Let us know if there are any other red-flags that you see.

[Mr.LoveUbye 15]

PS,

 

Thank you for the compliment on our pic!!!

[Willing29 66]

OK please be kind but we recently re-did our profile AGAIN and would like some gentle feedback on it. I know it is long but there was a lot we want to be very clear of upfront. Thanks again folks!

[PB&J 1,086]

Can I just point out that "peak our interest" should be "pique our interest"? Just one of my pet peeves!

[Willing29 66]

Can I just point out that "peak our interest" should be "pique our interest"? Just one of my pet peeves!

 

Thank you point well taken, you must be an english teacher?

[NotSorry 155]

OK please be kind but we recently re-did our profile AGAIN and would like some gentle feedback on it. I know it is long but there was a lot we want to be very clear of upfront. Thanks again folks!

 

Generally speaking,

I find it it a minor deterrent when a profile spends as much time as yours does emphasizing what the couple does not want. I'd rather hear things framed positively, ie "we are looking for a couple" not "we are not looking for single men". I guess I figure single men are gonna show up in your mailbox regardless of what you tell them.

 

A specific thing I can point out:

profile says "We are not into full swap at this time, so please don’t try" but the Wild bar has a tick of interest - looks like you have that one set to 'maybe'.

 

mr notsorry

[Willing29 66]

Generally speaking,

I find it it a minor deterrent when a profile spends as much time as yours does emphasizing what the couple does not want. I'd rather hear things framed positively, ie "we are looking for a couple" not "we are not looking for single men". I guess I figure single men are gonna show up in your mailbox regardless of what you tell them.

 

A specific thing I can point out:

profile says "We are not into full swap at this time, so please don’t try" but the Wild bar has a tick of interest - looks like you have that one set to 'maybe'.

 

mr notsorry

The 'maybe' in the full swap is there because it might be a possibility in the future if we find a couple with the right chemistry but there have been some who said they were soft but then pushed the boundries, we just wanted to be clear, very clear.

[NotSorry 155]

The 'maybe' in the full swap is there because it might be a possibility in the future if we find a couple with the right chemistry but there have been some who said they were soft but then pushed the boundries, we just wanted to be clear, very clear.

 

Gotcha.

 

I think I hurried my response because of the craziness in my house tonight - I did like the profile.

[IvoryTowers 380]

OK please be kind but we recently re-did our profile AGAIN and would like some gentle feedback on it. I know it is long but there was a lot we want to be very clear of upfront. Thanks again folks!

 

We also have a longish profile, as we want to be clear, so I understand where you are coming from. However, I think you could edit this down quite a bit and be more appealing while still getting your message across. For example, here is your original "Important" paragraph:

 

"We play as a couple and everyone MUST always be involved. We are not into couples where one person just wants to watch the entire time. We always play together and in the same room. We are into this for each other and if one of you was dragged into this by the other, please don't waste our time. Also please leave any jealously at the door, as this is an equal relationship. What is good for him is good for her and visa versa. We have seen profiles where the lady ONLY plays with women and we are not interested in that at all so please don't contact us, everyone plays equally or no one plays."

 

And here is a shorter but still clear version:

"We play as a couple, always in the same room and want everyone to be involved; we're not into couples where one person just watches or only the women play. We are looking for couples where both are equally eager and equally comfortable--no jealousy or drama please!"

 

Of course it is your profile and you should write it as you please, but I have to agree with the other poster that the effect was negative--a long list of nos and what we won't do, and very little of what you did want!

 

Finally, if you change nothing else, in the paragraph I quoted above, you say "leave any jealously at the door" and that should be "jealousy."

 

(Yes, I am an English teacher!)

[N8ture Girl 318]

I would agree, limit or cut out all the negative. Be positive, as I think it attracts positive people in return. When I see a lot of no's and negativity its a turn off and sends up the potential drama flags. Besides it makes it look like the couple is on the defensive for some reason. Many of the "no's" can be discussed during your first chat or meet to then further weed out the non-compatibles.

 

Lastly, I think shorter profiles are better, but that's my opinion. Really a profile is like an ad or in some respects a resume (some look for what experience a couple has). You are marketing yourself and a profile is usually your first impression to a potential couple. So I tend to look at profiles that way, if their too long it will loose my attention because its taking too long to find the information I am seeking especially those that are redundant and are full of negativity. The idea is to grab your reader's attention and keep it (provided that there is some level of interest or compatibility).

 

Short, to the point, no negativity works for us.

 

Just some food for thought.

[prometheius 137]

I agree wholeheartedly with N8tureGirl. We started out with a long profile that told of all our do's and don'ts and have come to the conclusion that it's best to keep it short and tell what we are up for. We are still "somewhat" new to the lifestyle but are evolving more rapidly than most couples we've met. We give just enough information to interest others and then tell them all they want to know about us once they have expressed an interest in us. Since we have removed all of our negatives our profile is short and sweet. It has proven to be very advantageous.

[Willing29 66]

First off thanks. The negative points come from our first experience which was pretty bad so after a few good times it seems that it may be a good time to review our profile with a more positive and current perspective. Thanks for the critique (my wife helped on the spelling of this, LOL). Maybe I need a good english lesson.

[MrkLin 393]

Thanks for the critique (my wife helped on the spelling of this, LOL). Maybe I need a good english lesson.

 

Just a tip from a pretty rotten speller. I type up almost everything in Microsoft Word or some other word processor, then use the program's spell and grammar check. Then I cut and paste whatever it is into the 'message' box on the web page. I also use Mozilla Firefox, and have added a spell check add-on. It usually catches any gross misspellings, but some things slip through the cracks. Oh - and before someone else does it, the word English is capitalized. (I probably used the wrong word 'capital', didn't I?)

[memphishotwife 15]

New here and would love to know how we can make our profile better... thanks for the help.

 

memphishotwife @ swinglifestyle

[pants_1 27]

Please kindly review our profile. We are interested in tips on how we can improve. We would love to hear any constructive criticism or really neat ideas. We are also searching for a new attention-grabbing tag line... Any suggestions?

 

alpharettaplaycpl.swinglifestyle.com

 

For what it is worth, I think it'd be nice to have a picture of your male half up too, so the ladies can get an idea of what they can expect.

[IvoryTowers 380]

New here and would love to know how we can make our profile better... thanks for the help.

 

memphishotwife @ swinglifestyle

 

Memphis, I'd shorten the part about taking it slow, since you say the same thing 3 times and therefore starts to sound pushy--you'd better do exactly what I say or else! People, especially men, in the LS are very respectful and don't need to be lectured about taking it slow.

 

I'd also break up the very long paragraphs with some spaces, as it is hard to read.

 

This may be just me, so hopefully someone else will comment, but I found the section on you meeting the guy first off putting. Perhaps you meant to sound protective and chivalrous, but to me (as a woman) it read as controlling. You read the emails, meet the men, decide if they're suitable, decide how much action the guy is getting---is this your wife or your slave? Now I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but it came across to me that way, so I'd suggest toning down that section or even omitting it (do you have to tell people up front that you're screening the men? Why?).

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

New here and would love to know how we can make our profile better... thanks for the help.

 

memphishotwife @ swinglifestyle

I have always wondered what a man means when he says he wants someone to seduce his wife. A lot of different scenarios run through my mind -- all of them sound like too much work. What I mean is, can you somehow be more specific in describing the task?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

New here and would love to know how we can make our profile better... thanks for the help.

 

memphishotwife @ swinglifestyle

You've had this profile up for over three months. Have you had people contact you with interest? If you have, have you ever gone out on your own--without your wife--to meet the guy or couple?

 

My feelings are similar to IvoryTowers, I'm not comfortable when it is apparent the man of a couple is running the show, and that's what it appears like to me.

 

LM

[memphishotwife 15]

Memphis, I'd shorten the part about taking it slow, since you say the same thing 3 times and therefore starts to sound pushy--you'd better do exactly what I say or else! People, especially men, in the LS are very respectful and don't need to be lectured about taking it slow.

 

I'd also break up the very long paragraphs with some spaces, as it is hard to read.

 

This may be just me, so hopefully someone else will comment, but I found the section on you meeting the guy first off putting. Perhaps you meant to sound protective and chivalrous, but to me (as a woman) it read as controlling. You read the emails, meet the men, decide if they're suitable, decide how much action the guy is getting---is this your wife or your slave? Now I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but it came across to me that way, so I'd suggest toning down that section or even omitting it (do you have to tell people up front that you're screening the men? Why?).

 

Thanks for the advice, I can definitely see how it could look that way. I am the furthest thing from a controlling person and didn't mean for it to come across that way. I went back and edited the profile, let me know if it looks a little better. Took out mostly the "meet me first" and "take it slow" kind of stuff. The rest would seem pretty accurate for what we are looking for, I think. Please let us know if you have any other suggestions.

[memphishotwife 15]

I have always wondered what a man means when he says he wants someone to seduce his wife. A lot of different scenarios run through my mind -- all of them sound like too much work. What I mean is, can you somehow be more specific in describing the task?

 

Yeah, I see where you are coming from. I just thought seduce my wife, sounded better than fuck my wife, guess I was trying to say it in a not so dirty way...lol. We just need to spell it out.

[memphishotwife 15]

You've had this profile up for over three months. Have you had people contact you with interest? If you have, have you ever gone out on your own--without your wife--to meet the guy or couple?

 

My feelings are similar to IvoryTowers, I'm not comfortable when it is apparent the man of a couple is running the show, and that's what it appears like to me.

 

LM

 

Much like the others, I can see your point. I am definitely not just "running the show", and dictating every move we/she can make. We have only met others together so far. Guess it seemed like a good thing to write at the time, but I have changed it based on everyones advice here. Check it out again and let us know if it is any better. Thanks.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Much like the others, I can see your point. I am definitely not just "running the show", and dictating every move we/she can make. We have only met others together so far. Guess it seemed like a good thing to write at the time, but I have changed it based on everyones advice here. Check it out again and let us know if it is any better. Thanks.

When I just clicked on your link to your Swing Lifestyle site it came up the same as yesterday, so I went directly to Swing Lifestyle and viewed it there where the changes do show up.

 

Great improvement!

 

Just a couple more things:

 

Are you interested in playing at all, or are you only interested in seeing your wife play and playing with your wife? From reading your profile I get the feeling you have no interest in having sex with other women. I think it would be an advantage to make it clear in your profile if you intend to play with others, or not.

 

This line of your profile would be better if you changed the "I" to "We" when you start your sentence, considering how the rest of the paragragh is written:

 

I wouldn't walk in the door the first time you meet us and expect to have sex...

 

Please let us know if your changes help.

 

to the Board

 

LM

[MrkLin 393]

Check it out again and let us know if it is any better. Thanks.

 

I just looked at your profile for the first time today, so I didn't see the things others commented on previously. Overall, I'd say it looks good. A little tinkering here and there, maybe, but it looks good.

 

The only two things that stood out to me were in your second paragraph, under "I/We Are Looking For." I agree with LikeMinds321 that you would probably be better off changing "I wouldn't walk in the door the first time you meet us and expect to have sex" to "We wouldn't walk in the door the first time you meet us and expect to have sex." When we're writing our profiles, it's sometimes easy to confuse pronouns like this. When I'm typing something here, it's my opinion. When I'm typing something in our profile, I'm typing for the both of us, based on a decision we've made together. Remember - you're trying to convey a description of the two of you as a couple.

 

The other thing that stood out is in the same paragraph. You said, "Let us know if you have any ideas on how to break the ice," then you repeated that line in the very last paragraph on the page. Personally speaking, I think it only needs to be said once, and I think it's more appropriate in the last paragraph. If it were me, I'd just delete it from the top of the page and let it stand in the last paragraph.

 

Those are both very minor points, I know, but I think it would really help in tidying up the profile. Other than that, I think you did a good job.

[memphishotwife 15]

I just looked at your profile for the first time today, so I didn't see the things others commented on previously. Overall, I'd say it looks good. A little tinkering here and there, maybe, but it looks good.

 

The only two things that stood out to me were in your second paragraph, under "I/We Are Looking For." I agree with LikeMinds321 that you would probably be better off changing "I wouldn't walk in the door the first time you meet us and expect to have sex" to "We wouldn't walk in the door the first time you meet us and expect to have sex." When we're writing our profiles, it's sometimes easy to confuse pronouns like this. When I'm typing something here, it's my opinion. When I'm typing something in our profile, I'm typing for the both of us, based on a decision we've made together. Remember - you're trying to convey a description of the two of you as a couple.

 

The other thing that stood out is in the same paragraph. You said, "Let us know if you have any ideas on how to break the ice," then you repeated that line in the very last paragraph on the page. Personally speaking, I think it only needs to be said once, and I think it's more appropriate in the last paragraph. If it were me, I'd just delete it from the top of the page and let it stand in the last paragraph.

 

Those are both very minor points, I know, but I think it would really help in tidying up the profile. Other than that, I think you did a good job.

 

Thanks, took care of both points.... hopefully it looks a little better.

[memphishotwife 15]

When I just clicked on your link to your Swing Lifestyle site it came up the same as yesterday, so I went directly to Swing Lifestyle and viewed it there where the changes do show up.

 

Great improvement!

 

Just a couple more things:

 

Are you interested in playing at all, or are you only interested in seeing your wife play and playing with your wife? From reading your profile I get the feeling you have no interest in having sex with other women. I think it would be an advantage to make it clear in your profile if you intend to play with others, or not.

 

This line of your profile would be better if you changed the "I" to "We" when you start your sentence, considering how the rest of the paragragh is written:

 

I wouldn't walk in the door the first time you meet us and expect to have sex...

 

Please let us know if your changes help.

 

to the Board

 

LM

 

Thanks for the welcome.... guess our ideal situation would be single males joining wife and I, but we are open to most anything including me having sex with other women. Guess I should work that in somehow. Maybe next time we decide to post a profile we should come get the swingers board members to write it for us:lol: Seriously though, I really do appreciate the help you all are giving us.

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

Please take a look at Bacardi12@swinglifestyle

First posting, not sure if I did this right!!

 

Take out the reference about your bad experience. Nobody wants to read about bad experiences in a profile. Try not to be negative in any way.

 

Also, try to make it a little longer. Take a look at some other profiles for ideas. If you go to regular events or clubs, include that info.

 

If you are looking for soft swap only, be VERY clear about that, and about your limits. Not everybody interprets soft swap the same way with regard to male-female interaction, so be very specific about it.

[MrkLin 393]

Please take a look at Bacardi12@swinglifestyle

First posting, not sure if I did this right!!

 

Looks like a very clean profile to me. Good job!

 

You could tinker with it a bit here and there if you want to - maybe explain what you're looking for a bit better. I can't tell if you're looking for friends first, soft swap, or just a couple to go out to a club with - maybe all of the above, for that matter.

 

Overall, though, I think it's pretty good.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Shiloh Way,

 

I also thought your profile was pretty good. As your progress through this make sure you keep your profile updated to reflect your current desires and experience.

 

S

[red96 17]

No sure how to link to our ad either but it is debchevy on Swing Lifestyle. Pics are a few months old and none of him at the moment. We took them down because they were Christmas pics and haven't taken any new ones yet.

[wanting2bme 15]

Would appreciate some feedback on ours too...

 

SLS - wanting2bme

 

TIA

[MrkLin 393]

This is just me talking here, but you're really limiting yourselves. Ok, you're specific as to what you want - that's good. Fair warning, however - everyone is looking for the girl you seek. You're searching for the fabled Golden Unicorn. Yes, she exists, but almost everyone on the net is looking for her. She can, therefore, afford to be picky.

 

Go back over your profile, and ask yourself this question: "If I were a single bi female, why would I choose the couple in this profile over the 200 or more couples within 30 miles who are looking for me?" In other words, what makes you special? There are lots of hot women out there looking for the SBF. That's not good enough any more. The SBF knows this, and she's not going to be easily impressed.

 

Sorry, but for the limits you have in place, you have a lot of work to do to make yourselves stand out from the rest of the couples looking for the Unicorn. I'll give you points for honesty, and being open about what you want - but I have to penalize you valuable style points for not setting yourselves apart from the other couples looking for a single bi female. The whole tone of your profile is pretty negative. You focus on what you don't want, then eliminate 99% of the couples in the area by saying the husband/BF can't even be there to watch (and make sure she's safe, by the way.)

 

I'm sorry, but the whole profile looks like a set up to me. The more I think about it, the less I like it. I wouldn't be surprised if you haven't gotten any replies. Not many people are going to drop off their SOs for an evening of who-knows-what with who-knows-who. You may be 100% genuine - but you're the only ones who know that. Sorry - the whole profile is one giant red flag to me.

[PB&J 1,086]

Yes, it seems a very one-sided deal for this mythical woman. You get another level to your relationship, and she... gets to be the other level to your relationship. Maybe explain more about what makes you desirable people to hang out with- beyond the fact that you're HWP and shaved. If you want a long-term relationship, you need to give potential FWBs something to make that seem like a good thing.

 

Have you tried couples swap and didn't like it? Or is this your first attempt at swinging? As it is, the whole "no SO" is a red flag, IMHO.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I'm cranky today, so please take this with a grain of salt... but only a little one.

 

If I were a single female, your profile would basically scare me and make me wonder about my potential safety.

 

If I were hitched (which I am) your total disregard for the existence of my SO would put me off completely.

 

Let me ask you: would your female half respond to a profile like this and be willing to do what you are asking someone else to do? Would your male half be willing to sit out like you want your potential playmate's male half to sit out? The Golden Rule applies here as everywhere else: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

 

Have you considered finding another couple who wants the same arrangement, and playing at least somewhat "fairly" with them?

 

Sorry if this seems hostile, but we see so many profiles where the couple obviously doesn't realize they are among hundreds or thousands looking for the same thing, and just expect someone else to do something they wouldn't themselves be willing to do. Either that, or they think they are just that hot.

 

Personally, I think you should try to pick up a woman in a bar. You'd have a better chance at getting what you seek. Seriously.

 

(Humph) (cranky emoticon)

[good times 991]

wanting2bme,

 

I have to agree with the others. The important point is, why would someone be willing to do something with you that you make so clear you are not willing to do with others.

 

Actually, were I you, I would be extremely leery of someone who would be so desperate as to answer your ad.

 

Sadly, about every third new ad we see on the ad sites, is someone looking for the same thing you are.

 

So my suggestion would be to rethink what you are comfortable with. If you can come to a point to where you are willing to give the same as you get, rewrite your ad to reflect that and you may get some response.

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

Personally, I think you should try to pick up a woman in a bar. You'd have a better chance at getting what you seek. Seriously.

 

Yep, a bar or one of those "meat market" type vanilla clubs will work way better than that ad ever will. At least there you'll have alcohol on your side and lots of single girls available.

[wanting2bme 15]

Much thanks to everyone who's replied, and I can definitely see your point about the whole thing reading very negatively. And to answer the questions, yes, this is our first foray into the LS. I suppose that's partly to blame for why we were trying to be very clear about what we DON'T want. We have gotten lots of queries from other couples, which is why I had gone back and edited it to include the NO S.O. part. We'd initially only stated that we were looking for the SBF, but it seemed MANY couples didn't understand that part and would contact us anyway. It seemed the appropriate response to try and negate interests from couples.

 

We DO understand we're basically looking for a grain of salt on an open beach, but after MUCH discussion with my wife, that is the only interests either of us has. She IS very bi and loves women, but that's it. As for a man, she's very insistent that I am the only man she wants or desires. As we become more comfortable with the LS, I may be receptive to soft swap, but I'm sure that's as far as it'd ever go. On the other hand though, as we both share the same love and desire for another woman, even soft swap doesn't seem "fair" as she would get to enjoy another woman while I would not. It seems to me, if we're both in this together, then both our desires should be met equally as well. And yes, I also understand that it's not fair to ask a couple to allow us both to play with their female while not allowing her S.O. to play with mine. We have both agreed that should we find someone we can be friends with, we are both open to playing with her alone w/o the other present, but only after we've all become acquainted and it would always be with the others knowledge beforehand. These may all be limiting factors which will make our search even more difficult, but it seemed best to be up front in our profile rather than making contact then unloading our rules afterwards. I have read a lot on this site and many others, and that was the strongest suggestion that kept repeating...be open and honest with your S.O. and any potential playmates, and we both agree very strongly with it. We both expect everyone to be honest with us and treat everyone else with the same respect.

 

All in all, we have received some interests from single women, and recently had a fun night with one we found we had much in common with. In fact, we already have another play date set for this Friday night. So at least that proves it IS possible. We were beginning to wonder, and after reading everyone's feedback, I can understand why our initial contacts were more limited than we'd hoped.

 

I will try and rewrite our profile from scratch and focus more on the positive, accentuate the qualities we feel would set us apart from the pack. When I'm ready, would it be acceptable to post it here first so I can get some feedback, or is that prohibited?

 

Also, nobody said anything about our photos. Are they good ones? We wondered about showing our faces but figured anyone that would see them are on the site for the same reason we are. I've considered posting more XXX rated photos, but wasn't sure if it was completely necessary and in itself wouldn't really set us apart from all the other online seekers. Would appreciate some thoughts on it though.

 

Again, thanks for all the feedback.

[MrkLin 393]

Wanting2bme - I just took a look at your new profile, and all I can say is WOW - what a difference!

 

SO MUCH BETTER! You really did a good job here!

 

Now I'll give you the standard speech about almost everyone looking for the illusive single bi female. Almost everyone is looking for the illusive single bi female. Ok, that's done...

 

I just wanted to let you know that there are some of us who do actually give a damn, and we do go back and look at profiles that have been reviewed - especially profiles that were particularly reviewed pretty harshly. You did a wonderful job of totally changing the tone of your profile, and made both of you sound a lot more warm and welcoming than the old profile did.

 

Again - great job!

[CXXC 435]

Hey Gang!

Mrs. CXXC and I were looking at our profile (CXXC1963) on Swinglifestyle yesterday. We both came to the conclusion that it is a bit lengthy. Any suggestions on how to condense the content yet ensure the same message is sent across?

The length is largely due to the fact that we want to make certain people know the real us from the start. We like to head off any issues before they can happen.

Thank you for your suggestions in advance. Mrs. CXXC and I appreciate it!

[N8ture Girl 318]

Hey Gang!

Mrs. CXXC and I were looking at our profile (CXXC1963) on Swinglifestyle yesterday. We both came to the conclusion that it is a bit lengthy. Any suggestions on how to condense the content yet ensure the same message is sent across?

The length is largely due to the fact that we want to make certain people know the real us from the start. We like to head off any issues before they can happen.

Thank you for your suggestions in advance. Mrs. CXXC and I appreciate it!

 

Hey CXXC, the one good thing I get from your profile is that it is very positive and almost screams bubbly personality! Not to mention I can almost feel you two smile as I read it and you were probably smiling when you wrote it! Great postivie energy! However I would agree that 13 paragraphs are a wee bit overboard... I honestly think that you can covey the same message and it only be half as long. I once felt that everything must be in the profile, but soon realized that in most cases alot of the info is easily discussed during the first e-mail, chat, if not the first meet.

 

 

Keep it short and sweet

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Hey Gang!

Mrs. CXXC and I were looking at our profile on Swinglifestyle yesterday. We both came to the conclusion that it is a bit lengthy. Any suggestions on how to condense the content yet ensure the same message is sent across?

The length is largely due to the fact that we want to make certain people know the real us from the start. We like to head off any issues before they can happen.

Thank you for your suggestions in advance. Mrs. CXXC and I appreciate it!

It's way more than a bit lengthy! You need to cut that back by at least half.

 

Much of it is redundant, so if you quit repeating yourselves that should help immensely.

 

 

I had to push myself to finish reading the Describe Yourself section and after reading that I didn't want to go on...but I did since I'm critiquing.

 

NEVER START A PROFILE IN ALL CAPS ENDING IN AN EXCLAMATION MARK! It comes off as demanding and sounds like you're yelling.

 

You say, "We cannot stand pushy...people!"

 

The way your profile reads makes you sound very pushy. It's the tone you use and the way you attempt to command people; there are many places throughout your profile where you phrase things negatively. Sends a bad vibe. You can rewrite almost anything in positive language to get your message across.

 

Reading how you describe yourselves comes off like you're full of yourselves. [You probably want to throw a rock at me now. I'm hoping the great sense of humor you mention having will be useful in handling this review. ]

 

My feelings about describing one's sexual talents is that it's pointless, since how sexually great you are is subjective. You may feel you're the best around, but it doesn't mean anyone else will...let your playmates decide.

 

You already have a fill-in spot on the Swing Lifestyle form for your age preferences. Let that be enough. All that you wrote about age isn't necessary.

 

The profile is full of adrenaline and you sound excited about swinging. I think the good of that may be overshadowed by the things I noticed that I mentioned.

 

LM

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

Reading how you describe yourselves comes off like you're full of yourselves.

 

Let your pics do the talking when it comes to this. We also used to have a much longer profile. Now it's much shorter and better IMHO. We use the "Describe Yourself" area to say what we like to do in the lifestyle as far as events, clubs, meet n greets, etc.

[CXXC 435]

OK! OK! I get it. Less is more. Hmm...This is going to be a task. Back to the drawing board!

Thank you so very much for your input.

We want to make sure that people know who and what we are. Pushy, intolerant or full of ourselves is BAD! We will DEFINATELY (I am yelling there) re-write.

Oh, and about being talented, you are right. Its like masterbation. Only you kow just how good you are.

Thanks again folks!

[femnewb4u2 328]

Hey Gang!

Mrs. CXXC and I were looking at our profile (CXXC1963) on Swinglifestyle yesterday. We both came to the conclusion that it is a bit lengthy. Any suggestions on how to condense the content yet ensure the same message is sent across?

The length is largely due to the fact that we want to make certain people know the real us from the start. We like to head off any issues before they can happen.

Thank you for your suggestions in advance. Mrs. CXXC and I appreciate it!

 

As a single, fully bi, female let me say this....yes, your email may be a bit long. May want to cut back on wording/verbage, but keep the content important to you conveyed. I see it as the more information the better. The first thing I do when receiving a Swing Lifestyle contact is check the written content of the sendees' profile. Especially if the email is a one liner. Profiles with extended content and well written descriptions and desires get my attention first. While I may lose out on meeting some great people, with the amount of emails I get (even at my age...lol) I needed some way to whittle down the invites. It can get overwhelming at times.

 

And I Ditto N8turegirl....can hear the bubbles in your personalities as I read certain portions.

[Guest Licks_Giggles]

We're always looking to be checked out, and sexed up!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We're always looking to be checked out, and sexed up!

 

Great pics!

 

Based on the first two lines, it sounds like your profile is more an ad for your club (and local area) than it is for you. I'm surprised you even managed to get away with including semi- URLs.

 

Also, I almost completely skipped your section in bold at the bottom. Because it came right after the paragraph title (also in bold but in red), I almost missed it because my brain saw it as part of the paragraph title. So since that's something you actually mean for people to read (single men mainly) you might want to adjust that.