Couples Profile Reviews

[mrnmrsdiscrete 15]

iexxxcpl,

It all looks very nice. I did find one thing that needs attention. Look for this part: "We enjoy sex in odd places, although we half toned that down a little bit in recent times."

You probably meant "have" not "half".

[iexxxcpl 19]

Thank you Mrnmrsdiscrete,

 

Good catch on that! Your assumption is correct,I will fix that tonight. Thanks again!

 

Mr. xXx

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Hey everyone, we find it difficult to write about ourselves our user name on SLS I'd the same as here (IExXxCpl) if you all don't mind we would appreciate some feedback on our profile.. So far I think it seems too vague... Thanks in advance!

 

Mr. xXx

 

Hello,

Here are a few things I noticed.

 

Proofreading:

We a couple in our mid twenties, Should be We are

 

Mr. xXx's main priority is he satisfaction Should be her

 

Things that are not necessary/seem wishy-washy:

do the math - sounds a little obnoxious too, in my opinion.

 

Previously she could not see herself involved with any other single men besides Mr. xXx but recently she has been considering mixing it up with another one or two. We are in no rush. - This isn't necessary to say, I'd leave it out

 

but a person who smokes is not necessarily dead in the water.

I wouldn't call it Bi, exactly but around there - I feel this is also unnecessary

 

 

I see what you mean about it being vague. There's nothing that really stands out. I would add some nice photos (they don't have to show your face.). Also elaborate on what odd places you've had sex? That was the one part that was a little intriguing. I'd just try to make it a little more unique and try to show your personalities a little more. Good luck!

[iexxxcpl 19]

Hello Funcouple,

Thanks for that, I will definitely incorporate your suggestions as well as those made by Mrnmrsdiscrete. It's good to have a fresh set of eyes especially when it comes to writing about yourself... I always get awkward when it comes to that.

 

Thanks again! Now I can't wait to get home and correct those mistakes lol

[iexxxcpl 19]

Some of those typos bothered me enough to fix them on my mobile browser (not so easy to navigate). I will be adding a picture or two soon and hopefully I can think of some significant content to add to our profile.

 

Thanks again for your help!

 

Mr. xXx

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

You might also change your header, since it's both too wordy and not very compelling. There's nothing wrong with noting that you're inexperienced, but what's in front works best if it makes people want to know more. What if you compressed it to Young, adventurous and curious?

 

Also, the last section where you talk about there being updates to come and what you have being a good overview isn't really necessary. That's your inside voice coming out.

[iexxxcpl 19]

Good call on both of those suggestions, thank you! Working on cropping some pictures as well as you may have noticed from our recently added avatar

 

Mr. xXx

[iexxxcpl 19]

Some pictures I am considering... G rated... Boring, I know. lol

 

Mr. xXx

[iexxxcpl 19]

And a couple more... Searching for these made me realize that I spend far too much time behind the lense. I don't have many pictures of my wife and I together

 

Mr. xXx

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

G-rated is great. I actually don't want to see naked photos (although we love seeing naked people). I'd only use the fourth one of the first group and all three of the second group, all of which show both of you having what appears to be a very good time. You'll be fighting people off, btw.

[iexxxcpl 19]

Thanks for that I was hoping for some votes on the foam finger up the nose one but alas... It's a little heavy on the goofballness.

 

Mr. xXx

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Thanks for that I was hoping for some votes on the foam finger up the nose one but alas... It's a little heavy on the goofballness.

 

Nope, goofball is awesome. Your expression looks pained, though, which isn't the impression you want to give.

[iexxxcpl 19]

Sigh... The Angels took quite a beating that day... It was my best happy face afterwards lol

 

Mr. xXx

[Dumuzi 18]

Can someone please take a look at our profile on SLS and make suggestions for improvement? We get single men and people who completely did not read the part where we told them NOT to write us speaking street slang as a way to break the ice (sorry, I know that sounds snotty but we all have our things, right?). Our handle is Hades_Persephone165

 

Thanks!

[junglecouple 127]

we also would like a critique.. as above, we make a clear statement about how a reply is done.. junglecouple.. thanks all

SLS.. Another unrelated question.. We've been participating in Chat for some time but within the last few days, it doesn't work for us anymore.. when I log in, the small counter below the bar (on the chatroom opening screen) has a set of #'s.. xx/80.. within the last two days, it goes quickly to 76/80 then freezes.. any ideas?

[Dumuzi 18]

@junglecouple: We like your profile...funny that you say about the same stuff we did, especially around the respect and how to send a proper email. Nice pic, btw. This is not a critique...we don't know enough to offer any suggestions, yet lol. Just wanted to say we liked it.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Can someone please take a look at our profile on SLS and make suggestions for improvement? We get single men and people who completely did not read the part where we told them NOT to write us speaking street slang as a way to break the ice (sorry, I know that sounds snotty but we all have our things, right?). Our handle is Hades_Persephone165

 

Thanks!

 

First, there is a lovely option in the SLS Tools menu (in Privacy Options) that lets you block men, women and/or couples. If you use it, you will have very little contact with those groups that don't interest you. Second, it's "it's warming," not "its warming." Finally, and I mean this lovingly and not unkindly, you are exactly the kind of couple for whom we're hot, and we totally agree about the sacred nature of sex, but your profile has some negative language that would result in my not contacting you.

 

How much time do you actually spend fending off the illiterate? For me, it maybe takes 5 minutes even on a busy week thanking people for their interest and wishing them well. I might cut that by 2/3rds if we had some language in our profiles discouraging text-speak, but I'm not a good enough writer to do that and not come off as prissy and negative. Since I actually want to present us as sexy, compassionate, easy-going fuck monkeys in search of the bright and geeky, 5 minutes a week doesn't seem like a lot of work to that end.

 

Marketing - and a profile is definitely a marketing endeavor - is most successful when it appeals to the greatest number of people in your target market. Negativity doesn't make the cut for that reason alone. Besides, and here's my wisdom for the week, it doesn't matter who you tell not to contact you, it's still going to happen.

 

The last thing is that one line in blue. It's kinda distracting between the bold and the regular and might be more unified if it was in bold black. That's just a minor quibble, though, and nobody is really going to mind it.

[Dumuzi 18]

@mauijanedoe: Thanks for the fast reply! We just made some changes, took out the negativity, and just kept things simple and sweet.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

@mauijanedoe: Thanks for the fast reply! We just made some changes, took out the negativity, and just kept things simple and sweet.

 

That was fast. I really like what you've written, but I miss the stuff that gave such a lovely window into your personalities. It made you seem really hot, actually. But the physical descriptions are great.

[junglecouple 127]

Thanks Dumuzi; it was your profile that led me to ask as well. We apparently have several things in common, except for the darned zipcode!!

[Dumuzi 18]

Hmm. Stuff that gave window into our personalities? Like what? I will put it back in there if it made us hot. We are trying to find the FRINGE version of us, HAHA.

[Dumuzi 18]

C'est dommage! It does seem like there is no one on this board from Philly!

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

@junglecouple: We like your profile...funny that you say about the same stuff we did, especially around the respect and how to send a proper email. Nice pic, btw. This is not a critique...we don't know enough to offer any suggestions, yet lol. Just wanted to say we liked it.

 

I like it too, junglecouple, with the same reservations I had about Dumuzi's profile. In your case, could you just recast it all as a positive, more or less that Mrs. junglecouple is turned on by complete gentlemen who write in complete sentences? The rest of it is pretty great, personal and individual, and the profile photo is quite eye-catching.

[Dumuzi 18]

@mauijanedoe : Too bad there isn't a way to Friend you on SLS or this Board, like on FB (lol).

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Hmm. Stuff that gave window into our personalities? Like what? I will put it back in there if it made us hot. We are trying to find the FRINGE version of us, HAHA.

 

Er, short attention span and we're getting ready to go away for the weekend, so the details aren't sticking, but the stuff about you that was in bold, the line about the sacred and primal nature of sex and your attraction to the sapiosexual were definite high points. Also, I do believe you used the word geeks, which always gets my attention.

 

C'est dommage! It does seem like there is no one on this board from Philly!

 

There are actually a number of people from Pennsyvania, plus nearby states, here on the board, but I don't recall a bunch from Philly itself. However, it's not unusual to go two hours or so away from home to meet likeminded folks. Anyway, there are enough couples here from your area that they can provide insight on things like clubs and events, if that's of interest.

[Dumuzi 18]

Ah, yes! Will definitely put the mention of "geeks" back in, also. Thank you for your suggestions. Please, keep in touch with us?

[dovedark 15]

dovedark on swinglifestyle

 

Any feedback would be great. Oh, Hubby's pic and couple pic are in private gallery. How do we move it to public?

Thanks

[angelkin 1,326]

dovedark said:

Any feedback would be great.

 

I think your goals and boundaries are well-stated. I like the playfulness in your writing. I wouldn't change the content much my suggestions are below:

 

"exploring this side of OURrelationship"

 

"We are into each other emotionally and physically strong in our relationship we are happily married and will stay that way". I would take out the part "and we will stay that way". To me it's enough to state that you're happily married and that comment insinuates that you think there may be those out there who would intentionally try to break you apart.

 

To improve the flow, I would start a new paragraph at "She is on the curvy side..." and another at "We are looking for..." and one more after "Since we are new to this every fantasy is pretty much open for exploration."

 

I might call him something besides "cute" but maybe that's the best description. When I hear cute, I think puppy dogs and babies - and it's more of a feminine descriptor to me.

 

Add a comma after "Being new to all of this", after "cute" describing her cute, short dark hair, and one more after "Since we are new to this".

 

I am a bit confused by the friends with benefits statement. I think you are trying to say that it's unlikely to find people to be friends first that will evolve into swinging. Not sure how better to get your point across.

 

I would take out "Please forgive our newbieness" since you have already mentioned you're new. Don't forget to take the newbie references out once you begin to feel more comfortable.

 

The only addition I would recommend is stating how you like to meet new people (drinks, dinner, clubs, chat), if you attend clubs, or meet & greets.

 

As far as your pic question, I think you have to delete it then upload it again into a public gallery.

 

Hope that helps! There are others who are really good at profile reviews and I am sure they will give feedback too. Best of luck to you in your journey.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

dovedark said:

 

Any feedback would be great.

 

It looks like you've already made some changes. I really like your profile. It does a great job of highlighting your interests and is good marketing. There are still some typos (it's keep our body parts away from and there should be a space between "an" and "avenue," for instance) and there are places that could use some commas for clarity, but those are minor details.. I think if you just solve the photo issue (and it does involve deleting those photos from the tools menu and then uploading them again to your public gallery), you'll be golden. Good luck!

[dovedark 15]

Thank you for all the input. Hopefully we will get some action soon. I deleted the pic and put it up on public.

[Luv_Bugs 15]

Hey! Brand new and just registered on SLS. Check out our profile and let us know what you think.

 

luvsalot.swinglifestyle.com

 

Thanks!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

If a polyamorous relationship is what you seek, you're singing the right tune. If it is a swing partner you seek, I'd like to make a few recommendations.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Hey! Brand new and just registered on SLS. Check out our profile and let us know what you think.

 

luvsalot.swinglifestyle.com

 

Thanks!

 

I'm not finding a profile, luvsalot

[Luv_Bugs 15]

We are looking for a swing partner(s) that may develop into friends with benefits. We are interested in a poly triad, but only if the right person comes along. Suggestions?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

We are looking for a swing partner(s) that may develop into friends with benefits. We are interested in a poly triad, but only if the right person comes along. Suggestions?

 

Say that, then. Right now you appear only to be looking for a romantic partner.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Hey! Brand new and just registered on SLS. Check out our profile and let us know what you think.

 

luvsalot.swinglifestyle.com

 

Thanks!

 

I agree, this is not a swinging profile. I would try okcupid.com or a polyamory website.

 

Most single females I've encountered who are on sls are looking for nsa sex or friends with benefits, not a love relationship with a couple.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We are looking for a swing partner(s) that may develop into friends with benefits. We are interested in a poly triad, but only if the right person comes along. Suggestions?

Point 1: If you hide yourselves from couples at SLS, people like me will not be able to see you when using the SLS Web site. I was, of course, able to see your external profile, thank you, as it does not distinguish singles from couples.

 

Point 2: The use of the word "lover" is all over your profile. Swingers do not want love or lovers; they want casual sex.

 

Point 3: In as much as I am not able to see at your public profile whether or not you have more than one photo with your image, I do not know if there is a picture of your man. Generally, if my wife and I see a picture of the woman but no picture of the man, we assume he is hideous.

 

Point 4: You say "in search of people looking for fun". If you want to meet single females, don't say "people", say "females" or "women".

 

Point 5: In seven years of swing lifestyle, nobody has ever suggested or hinted they want to pee on us. No point is saying you are not interested in pee. Nobody is going to bring it up.

 

The rest of it looks good.

[Luv_Bugs 15]

Thanks for the advice! I have made some changes.

 

1. Couples can now find us. I wasn't aware we had blocked them by choosing the "no" option.

 

2. Took the love references out.

 

3. There is a full length clothed face shot of each of us.

 

4. Changed people to females.

 

5. Got rid of the peeing reference and added our specific fantasy.

 

Anything else?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Thanks for the advice! I have made some changes.

 

Your profile is now coming right up when I use SLS "Other Search". Yes, it is good that both of you are pictured. You have a good-looking profile and I'll send you my wish that it brings you what you want in your search.

[stlify 15]

We would love any advice you can give! The short tag line was the hardest part for us! Our face pics are Private but there.

 

stlify at swinglifestyle.com

[angelkin 1,326]

stlify said:

We would love any advice you can give!

 

Took a quick read through and it sounds like you know what you're looking for. I like the 'about him' and 'about her' sections especially! Good job using "we" throughout the profile:) A couple of tweaks I might make:

 

Change the 2nd reference to "friends for in and out of the bedroom" to something else, maybe something playful. It's already in the paragraph above and it sounds repetitive, but I can tell it's important to you both that your playmates be friends socially as well. Perhaps someone creative can come up with a good line to insert:)

 

I'd take out the reference to drama and the episode of cops, nobody is looking for that and those who create drama don't know they are the source of it.

 

Change out "but" for "that" HERE: She is a bit shy to start but (insert that instead) doesn't last once she gets to know you. Add a comma after "the rock of the couple"

 

You don't mention condom use and maybe that was intentional. I know that I look for rules or guidelines in profiles, things like playing together or separately, condoms, kissing...The "what else.." area might be a good spot for that since it's empty.

 

Add a period after "...living a life. We like people"

 

You seems like a solid couple and I wish you continued success:)

[stlify 15]

Took a quick read through and it sounds like you know what you're looking for. I like the 'about him' and 'about her' sections especially! Good job using "we" throughout the profile:) A couple of tweaks I might make:

 

Change the 2nd reference to "friends for in and out of the bedroom" to something else, maybe something playful. It's already in the paragraph above and it sounds repetitive, but I can tell it's important to you both that your playmates be friends socially as well. Perhaps someone creative can come up with a good line to insert:)

 

I'd take out the reference to drama and the episode of cops, nobody is looking for that and those who create drama don't know they are the source of it.

 

Change out "but" for "that" HERE: She is a bit shy to start but (insert that instead) doesn't last once she gets to know you. Add a comma after "the rock of the couple"

 

You don't mention condom use and maybe that was intentional. I know that I look for rules or guidelines in profiles, things like playing together or separately, condoms, kissing...The "what else.." area might be a good spot for that since it's empty.

 

Add a period after "...living a life. We like people"

 

You seems like a solid couple and I wish you continued success:)

 

Thanks so much for your great feedback! It's crazy how some of that evolved (and got missed) as it was getting edited. I've made a number of changes that should spiff it up a bit!

 

-Sean

[angelkin 1,326]

Bravo! Looks great:) You already had the fantastic framework, now IMHO it looks polished. My guess is that someone else from here will review the new version and may have more advice. I am a novice, there are "professional" profile reviewers here LOL

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I agree with all that Angelkin has advised. I agree that you have a well-constructed profile. I will add a recommendation based upon one particular aspect.

 

I believe you are trying to say that sex on a first date is possible if the vibrations are positive but after reading three times, I'm still not sure:

 

"We are hoping to find outgoing, fun, and intelligent couples to have great times with." and "Going out for dinner and drinks or meeting for a fun night of two on two is a great way to get to know each other and see if there is chemistry!" Good times? Meeting for a fun night? Don't beat around the bush. A Kenny Chesney concert is a good time. Wild sex having a partners exchange is a good time. You leave me wondering if you mean one or both. You will probably want to say this in your own words but do let people know.

[stlify 15]

Thanks for the great feedback! We've made some adjustments that hopefully clear things up and make it flow a bit better!

[Txfun4fun69 15]

We would love to have our profile reviewed. We are on sdc and sls under the same name. Txfun4fun69

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We would love to have our profile reviewed. We are on sdc and sls under the same name. Txfun4fun69

I believe you have a very attractive profile and have stated very well what you want. Bonus points for having nice pictures. So I will lend only a few comments:

 

- Fix the misspelling of the word First (Fist).

- Close the parenthetical phrase with an ellipsis ")".

- I have a pretty strong belief that telling people you do not want drama does not inoculate you from drama. The drama-makers do not generally realize that they are drama-makers so they are going to read your profile and say, "Hey, we fit the bill. Let's send the an invitation." The many people who live their lives drama-free are going to read the word drama multiple times in your profile and if you give them a quiz a day later they are going to answer, "Oh, yea. That's the profile that had drama all over it." Consider not mentioning it at all.

 

Good fortune in your search and I hope I have helped,

 

~Michael

[junglecouple 127]

good looking profile.. it's a shame Texas is such a big state.. no one is close.. LOL

[angelkin 1,326]

Very nice profile! The only thing I would change other than SW_PA's suggestions is if you are not looking for single males, then change the bars at the top to reflect that so as not to send a double message. Some people use those preferences to search for couples seeking single men and your profile will come up in that search unless you change it.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We would love to have our profile reviewed. We are on sdc and sls under the same name. Txfun4fun69

 

Nice profile. Thanks for asking us to look!

 

A couple things:

 

Pictures - the only two where you can see his face he is frowning. I really like to see someone looking happy on a profile. I'd try to take a couple smiling shots. Her pics are very nicely done.

 

You repeat what you are looking for in the fantasies/experiences section. You might want to use that section to relate whether you've had any swing experience.

 

You might also like to tell how/where you like to swing. Clubs, house parties, meet for drinks then hotel?

 

You might also consider expanding your age cut-off past 40 since one of you is 37. We find most people we know are in their 40's and still looking and acting great.

 

Continued good luck to you!