2TexasTornados 16 Posted March 12, 2007 I'm the Mrs. of the couple... Maybe this has been covered before, or maybe I'm too new at this and that's why things like this cross my mind. We have a couple on SLS who contacted us first, and they seem fun so far. Here's the ONLY reason so far I'm concerned. The woman has a HOT body. In her pics, I can see every ab muscle. She has great skin, tight everything, on it goes. I'm in no way obese (size 6 jeans, 36C cups) but I have stretch marks, a C-section scar, boobs that would never be mistaken for artificial. I'm 34 and have the confidence that the thirties bring a woman... most of the time. But for some reason the thought of bouncing around in the same room with this woman's body that does NOT bounce, makes me want to hide. Even though we're new at this, so far every experience we've had has been positive, and I hate to be the party pooper at this point and not be into this couple just because "she's prettier". In the meantime I've revved up my workout routine, but other than that - any suggestions or thoughts from any of you who may have found yourself in a similar situation? Quote Share this post Link to post
havefuninsun 122 Posted March 12, 2007 Girl -- I have no idea what you look like, but I KNOW you've got it going on. How? You're a swinger, baby. I have been in the same room with women who have nicer bodies than me, and by comparison, not so much nicer. Mr. Fun has enjoyed each of these women -- women with stretch marks only reminds him (and me) that she is the mother of children. I, too, have a C-section scar, and although I've been asked if that's what it is, really, I forget it's there and no play partner has ever been grossed out by it. It's part of me. Remember -- this is about VARIETY on all accounts. I've enjoyed everyone I've had the pleasure of meeting. These playmates have been different than Mr. Fun. So don't be shy; be the confident woman that you are. Now kids, go out and play, and try to behave yourselves (uhm ... not ...) Quote Share this post Link to post
prettylady 221 Posted March 12, 2007 You know funny thing about stretch marks is that some people seem interested rather then bothered by them. Dog was rubbing my back once then started lightly stroking my stretch marks on my hips, this bothered me and I asked him to stop, to this he replied "I like them and how they feel". So I let him. Now just this past weekend we played with a couple and when we were done and just laying there chatting, the gentleman was stroking my stretch marks. I have a good body, strong abs, nice skin, so why stroke the stretch marks insted of the abs? I think with some people it is nice to see and feel that you are indeed a REAL person. Take pride in your stretch marks, they are a trophy of the increadible thing you did by bringing a child into the world. Oh and no matter how HOT your female friend is, she has a hang up too. She maybe thinking you have a prettier smile, nicer eyes, better legs, yadda yadda yadda. I have a playcouple who comment about my body and how hot I am, but you know I would give anything to light up a room the way the Mrs does. Relax and have fun Your friend, Prettylady Quote Share this post Link to post
SJK977 15 Posted March 12, 2007 The Mrs. here has expressed concerns over the other F in profiles we've looked at many times. She is more comfortable with women who have bodies like hers, or at least those who have a little something extra, so that's one aspect we look for in playmates. So far, we have never encountered any problems after playing though, as most have fit that description. We've only been in the lifestyle for about a year, and with that only a few play experiences. She seems to be getting more comfortable, and less concerned about this each time we play, so maybe it's something that just has to work itself out. Quote Share this post Link to post
Tia Vampire 167 Posted March 12, 2007 She must find you in some way attractive, as you said, she contacted you first. I was always told that stretch marks are badges of a real woman. I always thought it was the genatal area. Anyway, i agree with the rest of the folks here. Enjoy yourself and stop stressing over nothing. Quote Share this post Link to post
gatorvol64 216 Posted March 13, 2007 You get confidence in your 30s and a "who cares" attitude in your 40s...at least I seem to be. All these women who have responded to you are correct. Prettylady, however, said what I needed to hear even before swinging...no matter how hot this women is, she has something about herself she doesn't like. We all do. That's just the way things are. If you like and are comfortable with everything else about this couple, just go for it and have a great time. Vol Quote Share this post Link to post
blondie77 17 Posted March 13, 2007 "Oh and no matter how HOT your female friend is, she has a hang up too. She maybe thinking you have a prettier smile, nicer eyes, better legs, yadda yadda yadda." prettylady .................. Ditto! And very very well said Prettylady! I think we women worry way to much about what others are thinking of our bodies, when in truth they are probably just as worried about some aspect of themselves. I can say with all honesty that when we're playing with someone the last thing I'm doing is scrutinizing her body to find flaws. I personally could care less. I focus instead on the pleasure we're giving each other and the fun we're having. Body issues are so common...both men and women have issues...but don't let that prevent you from having a wonderful time. I'm sure they will both think you are beautiful for sharing such an intimate part of yourself with them. Have fun! Quote Share this post Link to post
Menage_a_Trois 182 Posted March 13, 2007 Dito to everyone's comment thus far! You are not alone, I understand completely. Mrs. Menage and Myself are polar opposites. She is 31 and I'm am a ripe 45. She is 6'1" and I a mere 5'6". She has the body of a goddess :drool:and I well of woman who has had two very rough pregnancy's bearing three children and a life time of letting it go . She is Platinum Blonde and I am a Brunette. I can go on and on about the differences both superficial and internal but the true is we each offer incredible gifts to others who cross our paths. She with her lighthearted and youthful approach to life and I with my years of wisdom and understanding can bring a man to knees. Each in our own ways. So rejoice in the woman you are and who life has molded. For she can NEVER be you and you can NEVER be her! The Other Mrs. Menage. Quote Share this post Link to post
daisy girl 34 Posted March 14, 2007 She with her lighthearted and youthful approach to life and I with my years of wisdom and understanding can bring a man to knees. Each in our own ways. So rejoice in the woman you are and who life has molded. For she can NEVER be you and you can NEVER be her! The Other Mrs. Menage. What an eloquent comment. I am 5'5 and 122. I am not voluptuous by any means. I am somewhat in shape. I sometimes do not feel like a real grown up. But...many people love my body. Honestly, sometimes people think I have more confidence than I really do. It has taken me years to embrace it and is a constant struggle. So...thanks for those words of wisdom. Quote Share this post Link to post
Mrs Spoomonkey 118 Posted March 14, 2007 I have to Dito everyone here. Embrace who you are and the body you have. We've been swinging for several years and Spoo has been with women who are skinnier, rounder, smaller breasts...larger ones, blondes, red head and brunettes and each one had something about themselves that they worried about. He only noticed that they were hot!! I worried at first and yes when I slack off on my workouts and gain a few I dread the mirror as I pass by but I have learned that most people aren't interested in whether you have a flawless, scare free body. Most people are looking for chemistry and attraction and when it's there the rest doesn't really matter. One wife of a couple that we played with got nervous when we got to the room because when we started undressing she pointed out that as a child she had been burned and the skin on one of her hips showed the telltale signs of it. It didn't take long to let her know that it did not affect her attractiveness, fun personality and sexy curves of her body. Don't turn down this couple that as you said contacted you first so they must like what they see. Go for it with confidence. Mrs Spoomonkey Quote Share this post Link to post
2TexasTornados 16 Posted March 14, 2007 Thanks for all your encouragement and great "points to ponder". I knew I couldn't be the only one who thought about it. Funny, it's just one of those things that never crossed my mind before since I only dated men before getting married, and I never had sexual interaction with any more than one at a time. It's a whole new world! I know from my own experience that sexiness has a lot more to do with intangibles than a perfectly flat stomach or another fabulous body part. So I'm going to stop stressing. Thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post
Tia Vampire 167 Posted March 17, 2007 no i have never been intimidated by a woman's body, but i have been intimidated by a woman's race. my fiance has a fetish for asian women and i sometimes wonder if we ever was to come across a hot asian woman in a club or at a party, would he pay her more attention than me. not that he would stop loving me, but just make me feel invisible. as far as the bodies goes, not everything that shines is gold. Quote Share this post Link to post
Menage_a_Trois 182 Posted March 18, 2007 no i have never been intimidated by a woman's body, but i have been intimidated by a woman's race. my fiance has a fetish for asian women and i sometimes wonder if we ever was to come across a hot asian woman in a club or at a party, would he pay her more attention than me. not that he would stop loving me, but just make me feel invisible. as far as the bodies goes, not everything that shines is gold. Ok I have to reply to this on a couple of levels. Mr. Menage has a things for asain women as well as redheads (lost his cherry to one ), oh yeah a he loves women that are voluptuous and oh I almost forgot the whole fantasy of having sex with a little person. So if we could just find him a redheaded voluptuous asian little person it would be all over!!!!!!!!! And as for paying her more attention than me.....well if I actually got paid more attention than any other woman at a club then I would have to check him for a fever since he see me all the time and we are at the club to experience "new" things. But I do like your last comment because not everything that has a shine is gold. The Other Mrs. Menage Quote Share this post Link to post
Tia Vampire 167 Posted March 18, 2007 thank you, exactly what i meant Quote Share this post Link to post
r_poseidon 17 Posted March 18, 2007 I know for a fact my girl never has been. She has the most confidence in her body of anyone I have met, and it's totally justified. Now a few people we met, the *other* lady has been a little intimidated, they as much told her that. Quote Share this post Link to post
Loves2eatslit 17 Posted March 20, 2007 Oh crap no smileys, lol oh well .... DITTO to all ..... she maybe be hot but Mrs 2TexasTornados she's not. Heck strike up a conversation w/ her about it. Tell how great she looks and see if she'll devulge a secret or two on how she maintains it. LOL I'm very concerned w/ the mr of our couple. The first thing he notices about another woman ... is her hair. But that is a topic of another thread ,mmmmmm. BTW I feel the same way. I always check out what I feel , is the competiton. Again, talk to Mr 2TexasTornados about your uncomfortableness. Hugs Abs Quote Share this post Link to post
C & J Ohio 15 Posted March 29, 2007 I'm the Mrs. of the couple... I have stretch marks, a C-section scar, boobs that would never be mistaken for artificial. You just confirmed something I have always suspected. We are a 50's couple but my wife still has a natural centerfold figure. There have been several times when we were with couples that seemed interested in playing but then at the last moment back off. I have told my wife several times that I felt the other woman was intimidated by her beautiful body. Now I know I was right. As for your quote, what does "boobs that would never be mistaken for artificial" have anything in common with stretch marks and scar? Artificial tits are a bigger turn-off to some men than scars and stretch marks. You should be thrilled to be natural. Quote Share this post Link to post
des1re06 200 Posted March 29, 2007 Here's my take on it. Everyone is beautiful in some way. I also have stretch marks, c-section scars, saggy boobs from breastfeeding, etc. I could go on and on. But, hubby loves every little thing about my body, and tells me so every day. It's taken me 40 years to feel confident about my body. Hubby has a tummy that comes and goes with the seasons (he's a chef), but he's the hottest lover I've ever had. So, if you look at a picture of a hot woman, who looks perfect, remember that she has things about herself that she doesn't like too. Many of you have said it more eloquently than I above. Just wanted to reiterate. She/they contacted you, so give them a chance. I've found very few people who are hung up on bodies being perfect, and if they are, then they've missed a chance to get to know a great couple like you and it's their loss. Mrs. D Quote Share this post Link to post
lovinher 505 Posted March 29, 2007 To me ladies, the most important thing I look for is what is behind the eyes. That cannot be stressed enough. Quote Share this post Link to post
prettylady 221 Posted March 29, 2007 To me ladies, the most important thing I look for is what is behind the eyes. That cannot be stressed enough. Oh Crap, with everything else we have to worry about....now I need a brain? Your friend, Prettylady Quote Share this post Link to post
lovinher 505 Posted March 30, 2007 A brain helps but I was thinking personality more than anything. Quote Share this post Link to post
MoonLightKiss 28 Posted March 31, 2007 Take pride in your stretch marks, they are a trophy of the increadible thing you did by bringing a child into the world. Oh and no matter how HOT your female friend is, she has a hang up too. She maybe thinking you have a prettier smile, nicer eyes, better legs, yadda yadda yadda. prettylady, once again you hit the nail on the head. Sometimes we women are so focused on what we see in the mirror when we look at ourselves, we never notice the woman next to us doing the same thing. But in answer to the question. No, I no longer am intimidated by another womans looks. I used to be. I had hangups a mile long. And somewhere during the course of our swinging, I got over it. I started to focus less on how hot they were, and started focusing on what I was bringing to the table. Laughter, a great smile, gorgeous eyes, nice long hair. It didn't matter if I had stretch marks and thighs I really wasn't happy with. And when I started focusing on what I was bringing, and started focusing less on how someone else looks in comparison to me, my confidence level went up. Just keep in mind that you are a beautiful person inside and out, and let the rest fall aside. Quote Share this post Link to post
LOL_OMG 130 Posted April 1, 2007 I actually think it has alot more to do with attitudes than physique. We have played with couples which the woman had a great body, but wanted everyone to know it...including me. Then we've played with couples that the woman had a great body but such a wonderful personality... hell I didnt care what I looked like. I guess it's a Diva mentality that isn't necessarily intimidating as much as it is a turn off. Mrs Quote Share this post Link to post
cutecplco 15 Posted April 20, 2007 Dito to everyone's comment thus far! You are not alone, I understand completely. Mrs. Menage and Myself are polar opposites. She is 31 and I'm am a ripe 45. She is 6'1" and I a mere 5'6". She has the body of a goddess :drool:and I well of woman who has had two very rough pregnancy's bearing three children and a life time of letting it go . She is Platinum Blonde and I am a Brunette. I can go on and on about the differences both superficial and internal but the true is we each offer incredible gifts to others who cross our paths. She with her lighthearted and youthful approach to life and I with my years of wisdom and understanding can bring a man to knees. Each in our own ways. So rejoice in the woman you are and who life has molded. For she can NEVER be you and you can NEVER be her! The Other Mrs. Menage. Well said Quote Share this post Link to post
Playtou 15 Posted April 26, 2007 We’ve been accused of being beautiful people and often play with others that don’t fall in that category. If they contacted you, jump at the chance. I recently asked the Mrs. who her favorite play mate was and it was the worst looking guy in the group. There has to be enough attraction to get you in the door but only attitude and personality will get you back. Quote Share this post Link to post
charms123 52 Posted April 26, 2007 Wow, what a thread. We are far from the Barbie and Ken crowd. To answer the immediate question... Fucking no way. I can suck better than most of “them” anyway! And that’s what brings the guys back again and again! We can mingle with all clicks at the clubs we attend. We have played with some from each and both of us think it’s all about the person too. (Yea I hear you all saying only a fat person would say that.) Maybe but try us, you might like us! And if you have a problem with someone that is not a size 2, remember one thing.. Its you that has the problem with the person that is not the size 2, they may not have a problem with you!!! Good thread! Thanks N of M&N Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted April 27, 2007 I actually think it has alot more to do with attitudes than physique. We have played with couples which the woman had a great body, but wanted everyone to know it...including me. Then we've played with couples that the woman had a great body but such a wonderful personality... hell I didnt care what I looked like. I guess it's a Diva mentality that isn't necessarily intimidating as much as it is a turn off. Mrs LOL_OMG, this made me curious to hear more. Can you explain what the woman/women did or said to be a turn-off regarding having a great body but "wanting everyone to know it"? I'd love to hear about the difference between this type of woman and the type that has a nice body but whose personality was such that it didn't affect you. Was part of it the way they dressed? The way they carried themselves? Or were they talking about themselves the whole time? Quote Share this post Link to post
Menage_a_Trois 182 Posted April 27, 2007 LOL_OMG, this made me curious to hear more. Can you explain what the woman/women did or said to be a turn-off regarding having a great body but "wanting everyone to know it"? I'd love to hear about the difference between this type of woman and the type that has a nice body but whose personality was such that it didn't affect you. Was part of it the way they dressed? While I'm not LOL_OMG I would have to venture to guess it's a woman (or man) who don't know what humility is. Over time even the most stunning beauty goes unnoticed but what keeps a person as someone people always notice? A stunning personality, sense of humor and wit, intelligence. That is what will carry you when the beauty starts to fade. The way they carried themselves? Or were they talking about themselves the whole time? It could be an arrogance in the way they carry themselves. Or the non stop ranting of yet another self absorb me generation victim. It's just hard telling. Just my two cents worth............. The Other Mrs. Menage ps - yes I'm a bigger girl - I'm not Barbie - but I once was Skipper so my thoughts on this, while they may make some think I'm bitter because I'm not a size 2 is not the case, it's just my perspective on the whole Ken & Barbie vs Fred & Wilma debate. Quote Share this post Link to post
Mrs.PaganLovers 15 Posted April 27, 2007 First of all, I don't know one female that is completely happy with the way she looks. I have met absolutely beautiful women that can find flaws in themselves. What is most important is personality and spirit! You can be the most beautiful woman on the outside, but as soon as you get to know them, I have seen ugly on the inside come out. The Creator made us all different and if you spend all your time taking care of the outside and none on the inside, you have wasted a lot of time. We all are getting older and when things start sagging and a little wrinkled, maybe a few extra pounds, what is inside blooms into the truly beautiful human being that we can be. Have you ever seen a woman that may not be the most beautiful woman on the outside, but has lots of attention from men? That is because sensuality begins in your head, how you carry yourself, your confidence, not just your body, but your brains, your creativity, your love of life and beauty, your spirit. So let your spirit shine through, that is beauty! Blessings Mrs. PL Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted April 27, 2007 Hi Menage, thanks for your insights. What is Barbie? People refer to Barbie and size 2 a lot, but I have very seldom seen any size 2 women in swinging. Does Barbie = skinny, size 2 with implants? People are seeing "Barbies and Kens" at all the clubs and refer to them often so they must be out there...I don't really know exactly what this is supposed to mean. I don't think I've ever seen people in swinger clubs that look that much like a Barbie, and I'm sure I haven't seen Ken. I wonder if people call even size 6-8-10 women (normal sizes), and people who are good-looking but in an average sort of way "Barbie and Ken", too? Seeing people across a room and calling them Barbie and Ken seems like a knee-jerk judgment and not about personality. I hear people talk about the B&K crowd at their clubs - that's a lot of plastic dolls all in one place at one time. Can there really be that many Barbies and Kens? I wonder if this judgment on people is really overused? Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted April 27, 2007 That is because sensuality begins in your head, how you carry yourself, your confidence, not just your body, but your brains, your creativity, your love of life and beauty, your spirit. So let your spirit shine through, that is beauty! That's a beautiful statement. Well said, Mrs. PL! Quote Share this post Link to post
Menage_a_Trois 182 Posted April 28, 2007 Hi Menage, thanks for your insights. What is Barbie? People refer to Barbie and size 2 a lot, but I have very seldom seen any size 2 women in swinging. Does Barbie = skinny, size 2 with implants? People are seeing "Barbies and Kens" at all the clubs and refer to them often so they must be out there...I don't really know exactly what this is supposed to mean. I don't think I've ever seen people in swinger clubs that look that much like a Barbie, and I'm sure I haven't seen Ken. I wonder if people call even size 6-8-10 women (normal sizes), and people who are good-looking but in an average sort of way "Barbie and Ken", too? Seeing people across a room and calling them Barbie and Ken seems like a knee-jerk judgment and not about personality. I hear people talk about the B&K crowd at their clubs - that's a lot of plastic dolls all in one place at one time. Can there really be that many Barbies and Kens? I wonder if this judgment on people is really overused? To be honest - there are probably infinite definitions of Ken & Barbie.........I personally am not one to stereo type someone but it's a very common occurrence in the lifestyle. That's why I had to put the comment about the battle being between the Ken & Barbie’s and Fred & Wilma's of the lifestyle......... Wish I had a better answer for you............... Pagan - eloquently said! The Other Mrs. Menage Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted April 28, 2007 To be honest - there are probably infinite definitions of Ken & Barbie.........I personally am not one to stereo type someone but it's a very common occurrence in the lifestyle. That's why I had to put the comment about the battle being between the Ken & Barbie’s and Fred & Wilma's of the lifestyle... Mrs. Menage, that's cute! But, Wilma looks like a size 2 to me (even after Pebbles came along, she still had that tiny waist). Maybe it's more like Ken and Barbie vs. Homer and Marge Simpson? Quote Share this post Link to post
Menage_a_Trois 182 Posted April 28, 2007 Maybe it's more like Ken and Barbie vs. Homer and Marge Simpson? Hey now you may be on to something, or perhaps the Family Guys, Peter & Lois! Oh the possibilities Quote Share this post Link to post
aahours1 16 Posted April 29, 2007 As a personal trainer, there is NO way to get rid of STRETCH MARKS, The fading creams are all the same, they contain the same med's as PREPORATION H. Honestly they do. All it does is tighten up the skin (TEMPORARILY). Not a long term effect. But on the other end of the spectrum. stop knocking yourself out over something as menial as the stretch marks. Continue to excersise, it does work wonderful on the rest of the body and around the marks, excersise will tighten the skin up (SOMEWHAT). It does wonders for self confidence. Send the LADY a full pic of yourself and explain to her that after having babies and genetically inherited this is YOU. Tell her you are working out and have been for awhile. Then let it go from there. As long as you are confident about yourself and show that, everyone will feel the same as you do. KEEP it positive and look great in whatever you do. Quote Share this post Link to post