Will guys lose respect for another guy if they saw him having bi-sex?

[Tia Vampire 167]

We have seen the question, "would a woman lose respect for a guy if he wanted to be done by another guy, if so then why?" At times it has gotten very nasty on here because of this question. So, I would like to know more from the guy's point of view. If you walked into a room and one of your guy friends was being done by a guy, would you lose respect for him? Could you still hang around with him? Alright guys, your turn.

[VegasLee 1,486]

This is an easy one for me. Since I have male friends that are straight, Bi and some are gay.

 

I never lose respect for anyone for their personal choices.

 

I have had many people judge me and my family because of our own lifestyle choices and have had to deal with it so I don't see that it is my place to judge anyone else for their choices.

 

I have noticed over the years in this Lifestyle that "Swingers" accept swingers and bi women but many of them are not so open minded when it comes to bi or gay men. Never figured that one out myself.

[confunktion 20]

Well put, Lee. I guess I always figured, who am I to judge others for their paths, no matter how close or far they are from mine? As long as no one's hurting anyone else, go crazy. Happiness is reached by many paths. I wouldn't want anyone to block my personal path, and I have no right nor a desire to do so to others. Do what you feel, and let's go on our merry way.

[sereneiders 263]

I guess the question doesn't mean "any" woman inside the lifestyle, but THE woman you are with, provided she knows the guy and the guy know her for long enough as to suppose some behaviors could be, at least, unexpected from him. Moreover, the question doesn't have to be about a "homo/bi" behavior, it could be about any other behavior.

 

For example, let's suppose this peacefull swinger couple meets a playmate who also is inside the BDSM lifestyle, and this playmates express his/her desire of some power exchange game, or to be humilliated/degraded... let say, asks to be slapped. One of the spouses could be up to give it a try, but it's very likely that he/she would be worried about the side effects of such a behavior inside the marriage, asking "would I lose my spouse respect if I slap this playmate, since one of the features my spouse loves from me is that I am not violent?".

 

So, the "homo/bi" subject here would be one of many, many behaviors deemed as "unusual enough" as to risk to be seen by your spouse in an odd way, to the point of damaging the relationship, by means of loosing respect, admiration, or so.

[Spoomonkey 421]

I have to agree with VegasLee as well. I lose respect for folks when they are not true to themselves and comfortable within their own skins... Not because of who they choose to have sex with...

[at-a-kiss 15]

I do not know why guys are so up tight or lack the ability to enjoy another way of being pleased. Alot to be said about having a mans penis in you, as you ladies know facelick . Al of you guys with this problem should give it a try, you will never come so hard Example. I do not like to kiss another man, I do not feel that way about them but I do like the feel of a rock hard penis in me. I enjoy my wife using toys with me very much. I love to be on top Try it guys! Open your self up to new things, you will love it if it is done right!

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

I don't care who does what with whom just so long as the 2 universal rules are followed. "Ask before touching" and "No means NO."

 

I don't care what somebody might ask me to do or have done to me in a play situation. Just respect my answer. I wouldn't lose respect for anybody over any sexual practice under those conditions.

[lovinher 505]

Not at all. I firmly believe in "to each his own" regardless of the subject. It does turn me off to watch it though. Sorry but that's me. But I could care less if the guy was gay and wanted to dress up in a tutu.

 

I also don't worry about what people think of me because of my preferences and neither should whoever you are referring to.

 

I'm straight by the way.

 

Could I still hang out with him? Sure. During high school one of my best friends was obviously gay but he would never fess up to that. We all knew but none of us cared and he still was one of the guys. I lost touch over the years with the guy but we remained friends well after high school.

 

If the other post you are referring to was put in the manner this was, I think that post would have gone in a different direction. With that one it was tough to figure out what the OP was looking for or trying to say.

[lovinher 505]

Just because a straight guy wants nothing to do with a dick in their ass does not mean we are uptight or lack the ability to try new things. Your statement is BS. I guess a guy who likes to fuck donkeys could say the same about you if you apply your way of thinking.

[WesternSwing 504]

It wouldn't faze me at all. It's his sexual preference and isn't for me to judge. It doesn't change who he is with me. If I had never known of such things our relationship would never change, so why should it now?

[twohots4u2 188]

Getting into swinging has really broaden our concepts about non-hetrosexual activites. Before, we were a little uptight about guy on guy, but now, we are both interested....

[at-a-kiss 15]

Lovinher - No reason to be an asshole. That was my opinion and did not mean to attack anyone as you did. This is supposed to be a place to be open about yourself and not have to worry about an uptight jerk like yourself! You must have real hang-ups.

[cutecouple39 15]

I do not know why guys are so up tight or lack the ability to enjoy another way of being pleased. Alot to be said about having a mans penis in you, as you ladies know facelick . Al of you guys with this problem should give it a try, you will never come so hard Example. I do not like to kiss another man, I do not feel that way about them but I do like the feel of a rock hard penis in me. I enjoy my wife using toys with me very much. I love to be on top Try it guys! Open your self up to new things, you will love it if it is done right!

 

This whole statement is absolutely absurd that would be just like someone into beastiality or pedofilia telling everyone on this board that they should try it cause they might like it, that is just ludicrous.

 

At a kiss.....just because a straight guy wants nothing to do with a dick in their ass does not mean we are uptight or lack the ability to try new things. Your statement is BS. I guess a guy who likes to fuck donkeys could say the same about you if you apply your way of thinking.

 

 

agian I have to agree with lovinher

[lovinher 505]

I was not attacking you at all and I'm sorry you took it that way. I don't understand how you came to that conclusion. I was pointing out that just because somebody isn't into what you are into doesn't mean they have hang ups or need to lighten up. Now if a guy who fucks donkeys said to you "man you should really lighten up and fuck my donkey" how would you respond? Would you believe you have hang ups because you don't want to mess with his donkey? An extreme analogy but the point is the same. I have no interest in having a dick in my ass or mouth. Come to think of it I don't even want to watch it (guy on guy). Maybe that is a hang up but I could care less. But I could also care less if another guy does it and my opinion of him would not change. Now if he DID fuck donkeys all bets are off. Call that what you want and you can call me an asshole.

 

Lighten up dude.

[at-a-kiss 15]

Lovinher, I apologize and I apologize to the board. I read the post wrong and acted out of line, I understand after rereading your post and the responses. Maybe my actions are my own hang up. I took it personally and should not of. Please do not think I'm a bad person, I really am a nice person I just took your post the wrong way. Again I apologize to you and the board for my response.

[lovinher 505]

You don't have a hang up, just an opinion.

All is good

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Lovinher, I apologize and I apologize to the board. I read the post wrong and acted out of line, I understand after rereading your post and the response of alure and others. maybe my actions are my own hang up. I took it personaly and should not of. Please do not think i'm a bad person, I really am a nice person I just took your post the wrong way. Again I apologize to you and the board for my responce.

 

Thank you for stepping up, it says a lot about you. It's always important to take a moment when reading posts on a board like this and think through them before responding. It's all too easy in these situations to get the wrong impression or to misread what someone said.

 

That said, Welcome to the board! You can count yourself a real member now, you've been involved in a misunderstanding and survived!

[Happypair 15]

Then there was the cowboy who confessed to a friend that on those weeks-long solo cattle drives, he would occasionally become intimately acquainted with his horse. "Really?" replied his buddy. "Is it male or female?" "Female, of course," snapped the cowboy. "Ya think I'm gay?"

 

So we all have our prejudices and taboos, this writer included. I'm wondering if we can get back to the original question (or at least that general area), that being, just how tolerant we straights are regarding male bisexuality. Madame and I are both straight (call her a bit bi-curious, but she's not really comfortable with the whole thing). That said, we like to consider ourselves tolerant of the choices of others. And yet...

 

We met and chatted with a couple some time ago at a meet & greet. They were in our (50-plus) age range, reasonably attractive, and we enjoyed chatting with them... had quite a bit in common. We also discussed the fact that his ad mentions that he is orally bi. Yes, he said, but only orally, and he would never try to 'convert' anyone. Unless a swing partner requested it, the subject would never come up. (BTW, he also said he'll blow a guy, but no kissing.)

 

Sooooo.. I'm not prejudiced.. (and notice how the next word is always 'but')...

 

but that was months ago and we've been consistently 'too busy' to set something up with them. Am I more homophobic than I care to admit? Perhaps, but there is something else, and I never see this discussed on the board. We are a long-term couple and prefer that in partners, friends-first, quality-over-quantity, blah, blah, blah. In short, we are selective, then if those we select are of similar mind, we prefer our sex bareback. We ALWAYS respect the wishes of others who prefer safe sex, but from our standpoint, if we feel the need to glove up to protect ourselves, we're going to either wait until we know you better, or just move on. But what about our new friends? Based on every other impression, we would be intimate with them, and do it without latex. But yes, now we're nervous about catching bad things that are associated with male homosexuality. And yes, he's only orally bi, not that risky in itself, but how do we know that applies to all his friends, that some of them, while respecting his limits, may be fully bi, and of course swinging with his wife?

 

We certainly respect this couple for their honesty; had they not been upfront about his bi side, I am sure we'd have mixed it up with them long ago, condom-free if they desired. So, without getting into the whole safe-sex in general debate (that's a horse that has been whipped to death), I would like to throw out a few questions:

 

Is this 'quiet' prejudice common... we respect your bi-ness, just won't get it on with you?

 

If so, is it not because of what you do, but fear that you're in (or on the fringe of) a high-risk group?

 

If you (male) are bi (even just orally), is there a moral obligation to disclose this right off the bat, or in ads?

 

And finally, are there straight-male couples who do swing, or have, with bi-male couples, and what are your thoughts?

[lovinher 505]

I wouldn't call not wanting to do anything orally or anything else for that matter with a guy prejudice or homophobic, it's just a preference not to do it. What kind of bugs me is when a guy states he isn't into that sort of thing he is labeled homophobic or has homophobic tendencies. When a woman says she isn't into women at all the homophobic label isn't brought up at all. I'm not homophobic at all. I would have no problem playing with a couple if the male was bi but I would make sure my preference is known and my opinion of him would not be affected. But male to male contact does nothing for me and I'm not interested, or do I believe that women who want nothing to do with another woman are homophobic. It's just a preference and not a prejudice IMO.

[magnum 78]

We have seen the question, "would a woman lose respect for a guy if he wanted to be done by another guy, if so then why?" At times it has gotten very nasty on here because of this question. So, I would like to know more from the guys point of view. If you walked into a room and one of your guy friends was being done by a guy, would you lose respect for him? Could you still hang around with him? Alright guys your turn.

 

Interesting question...I have a male friend that is gay, he is a great guy and a very good friend, I would rather not see him getting driven to Pittsburg, if you know what I mean.

 

I would rather not see a straight male friend getting driven to Pittsburg either, I am not sure if I would lose respect for him??? I would surely look at him a "bi" and I would be a little shocked, at least initially.

[Thrax 384]

Interesting question...I have a male friend that is gay, he is a great guy and a very good friend, I would rather not see him getting drivin to Pittsburg, if you know what I mean.

Hmmm...never heard that phrase before, but I can guess what you mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. :rollseyes

 

You best be careful there. You might have offended some folks in Kansas or California. Or was that your intent?

 

 

Thrax

[magnum 78]

Hmmm...never heard that phrase before, but I can guess what you mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. :rollseyes

 

You best be careful there. You might have offended some folks in Kansas or California. Or was that your intent?

 

 

Thrax

 

I did not mean to offend anyone...That is a phrase I heard back in high school, it can also refer to heterosexual "play" as well.

[itbus69 15]

My wife and I are looking for our 1st mfm she knows I want to give to the guy oral sex getting him ready for her, and she is fine with that. Turns her on when we talk.

[LOL_OMG 130]

Back to the subject at hand. The only way I would lose respect would be if, after I made it clear that my door doesn't 'swing' that way, the guy tried to push it. Having said that though, the same thing applies to pushy couples. The thing that scares me the most about m/m is aids. I know a lot of it was media hype but when aids first came out it swept through the gay-male community. It may be just my own mind making me feel better, but it seems to me if I steer clear of bi-males and hardcore drug users that things are a bit safer. This is not meant to offend anyone, just an opinion.